for Happiness
eunhyuk/sungmin, angst
imagination
sungmin imagines their first kiss to be like
a tidal wave sinking a rowboat (one minute you are laying next to him in bed, snuggled close because it's cold and no one had enough energy to turn on the heat. he's pressed against you, but barely there, hands clenched together and grazing the small of your back, the skin that is petal soft between the top of your pajama bottoms and the pink of your scrunched up shirt. his fingertips grace your skin like a firefly, warm and gentle, tickling but it feels good. then, suddenly, everything starts pouring out of you and he's grinding underneath you as you try to breathe his lips and drink his moans. the next minute, you are side by side, eyes wide. it's all over, but in between your overheated bodies are hands entertwined tightly before you both turn over, careful not to touch, and separate, forget, until it happens again.)
being hanged from a bridge over calm water (eunhyuk slides next to you on the couch, slides his fingers over your cheek, and presses his lips to yours. your eyes flutter shut softly as he slides onto your lap, slides his tongue next to yours, his fingers in your hair, grinding into you. when you are breathless, he rises from you, whispers in your ear like a bridge, lips a river, body like a million pieces of sharp, dangerous rocks seeking blood and injury. he artlessly draws from you, graceless, inept, and it dawns on you. you can taste it melting down your throat and he licks under donghae's collarbone across the room and it has come to an end.)
drowning to find damnation at the bottom of the sea (three months and you don't know what to think. quiet afternoons warming each other in the dark, talking each other to sleep. you didn't realize when heechul ran a hand down your front or when shiwon wrapped strong arms around you that you'd fall deeper in love with eunhyuk. unimaginable. instead, he cries in the corner, hides his face from you, and even when you press firm kisses on the top of his head, his forehead, his arms, his shoulders, his fingers, he won't let go of you. somehow, you are trapped, and you never realized that being his would mean so much. that he doesn't know how to forgive easily. you never imagined that you'd be unhappy when he was all the happiness you ever knew.)
so sungmin decides it's (suicide no matter what he decides) just not worth it, that it's better that eunhyuk holds sungmin's heart in able hands without being aware so there's no way he'll know if he accidently drops it, steps on it, or breaks it, that sungmin is suffering at all.
...so eunhyuk can sleep next to him, groan deeply in his sleep about lyrics or dance steps. so they can be innocent, and friends, and happy, and together, no matter what.
s.
imagination
sungmin imagines their first kiss to be like
a tidal wave sinking a rowboat (one minute you are laying next to him in bed, snuggled close because it's cold and no one had enough energy to turn on the heat. he's pressed against you, but barely there, hands clenched together and grazing the small of your back, the skin that is petal soft between the top of your pajama bottoms and the pink of your scrunched up shirt. his fingertips grace your skin like a firefly, warm and gentle, tickling but it feels good. then, suddenly, everything starts pouring out of you and he's grinding underneath you as you try to breathe his lips and drink his moans. the next minute, you are side by side, eyes wide. it's all over, but in between your overheated bodies are hands entertwined tightly before you both turn over, careful not to touch, and separate, forget, until it happens again.)
being hanged from a bridge over calm water (eunhyuk slides next to you on the couch, slides his fingers over your cheek, and presses his lips to yours. your eyes flutter shut softly as he slides onto your lap, slides his tongue next to yours, his fingers in your hair, grinding into you. when you are breathless, he rises from you, whispers in your ear like a bridge, lips a river, body like a million pieces of sharp, dangerous rocks seeking blood and injury. he artlessly draws from you, graceless, inept, and it dawns on you. you can taste it melting down your throat and he licks under donghae's collarbone across the room and it has come to an end.)
drowning to find damnation at the bottom of the sea (three months and you don't know what to think. quiet afternoons warming each other in the dark, talking each other to sleep. you didn't realize when heechul ran a hand down your front or when shiwon wrapped strong arms around you that you'd fall deeper in love with eunhyuk. unimaginable. instead, he cries in the corner, hides his face from you, and even when you press firm kisses on the top of his head, his forehead, his arms, his shoulders, his fingers, he won't let go of you. somehow, you are trapped, and you never realized that being his would mean so much. that he doesn't know how to forgive easily. you never imagined that you'd be unhappy when he was all the happiness you ever knew.)
so sungmin decides it's (suicide no matter what he decides) just not worth it, that it's better that eunhyuk holds sungmin's heart in able hands without being aware so there's no way he'll know if he accidently drops it, steps on it, or breaks it, that sungmin is suffering at all.
...so eunhyuk can sleep next to him, groan deeply in his sleep about lyrics or dance steps. so they can be innocent, and friends, and happy, and together, no matter what.
s.