Comments | okuribi: FIC: "Hating the 'You' Within"

okuribi

FIC: "Hating the 'You' Within"

Nov 30, 2007 21:35

It was a feeling that slowly bubbled and boiled deep within him over the years. A wildfire spreading throughout every nerve, making his fingers itch at the very thought of it, he realized that he couldn’t ignore this feeling anymore. It was consuming his whole being, weighing him down like anchors holding a ship still within the ever-moving waters ( Read more... )

gazette, hatred, fic, 30emotions, ruki

Comments 11

melodybutterfly December 1 2007, 03:02:36 UTC

Oh wow. I really liked it! You did a wonderful job. ♥

okuribi December 2 2007, 00:34:44 UTC

♥!

hotarubi December 1 2007, 03:08:16 UTC

REMINDS ME OF DARK!RUKI. *_____* ::fangirls::

okuribi December 2 2007, 00:23:00 UTC

In a sense, huh? XD I actually wasn't thinking Dark!Ruki when I wrote this, but it kinda does remind you of him!

Critique? shinkyoku December 1 2007, 11:08:00 UTC

I was wondering if you wanted any critiques (from a technical standpoint; i.e. possible rephrasing of a sentence, et al.) on your writing? I don't want to butt in and offer critiques where they're not wanted. ^^;

Yes! okuribi December 1 2007, 15:45:34 UTC

Critique is more than welcomed! I'm actually someone who loves receiving critique on how to better my writing and how to structure my words and such since I have absolutely zero confidence in my writing. XD So really, I'll take it. ^^;

Could you email it though? countless.error@gmail.com! That way you can give it and I can fully read it. :x

_hakushi December 1 2007, 16:41:36 UTC

I love it, I love it!! <333 Fluff always placed second to darker themes to me, I do not know why -laugh- AND YOU USED THE PICTURE FROM CHIKAGE-SAMA'S SITE~~~~ I also liked the other one too, with the kazaguruma!

Sorry I can't offer anything useful, but you know I love your writing a lot. Your style appeals to me greatly. Such vivid imagery with a plot to match against x)

okuribi December 2 2007, 00:33:30 UTC

I swear, after I saw that photo, I kept thinking of this story over and over again, picturing it like a movie in my mind. It took me awhile to think of how to approach it because I was thinking of having Ruki speak first, but I didn't like it so I went for the other approach. XD; /ramble

I love that picture too much. > >;;

I try. ;__;/))) I'm still really critical with myself. But at least I didn't say 'ugh it sucks' the moment of finished it!

THANK YOU. You help inspire my writing a lot. ♥

velvet_burns December 1 2007, 18:39:50 UTC

I'm editing this comment after I post it because I don't want everyone reading what I have to say, but theoretically you should get the email notification anyway.

I loved this.

Thank you.

okuribi December 2 2007, 00:22:17 UTC

I did get the original comment in my email, and if you don't mind later, I'll send you a private message regarding it if it's alright with you. ♥

I'm very glad you loved this fic. And I'm surprised, and amazed that you would tell me this. Despite it all, in a strange way, thank you for telling me it as well.

You're very welcome. Do take care!

velvet_burns December 2 2007, 11:43:16 UTC

Of course, I don't mind you messaging me. My email is onelittlepiggy@gmail.com if you wanna email me or whatever :3

I know it was probably kinda weird of me to tell such a complete stranger when even the people I see every day don't know yet, and I don't know if I'll ever tell them >_>; But this fic kinda... I don't know, it compelled me in a way? I'm not sure if that makes sense. But regardless, thank you.