The Parvenu Legacy: 7.2
Previously: Eddie and Winona got married despite her feelings for Dempster. Jack made his feelings for Cadence known to Shiki. Shiki got Cadence pregnant but then confessed he was gay which sent Cadence into a rage labor and Aimi was born.
The Parvenu's have moved for what seems like the 400th time into a new home in Neverglade.
Cadence: "This is just one step closer to dominating the entire world! Nothing will be able to stop me from my goals..."
Cadence: "Except maybe you my good and sweet little devil. Oh how I want to change you, and no, not your diaper."
Coincidentally, the new house was in Jack's neighborhood so he stopped by to welcome them to his area.
Jack: "I think you'll like it here Cadence. Oh hello Mayor Parvenu! I'm just making sure your daughter is ... well welcome into the neighborhood. I'm not flirting with her or anything. I have a girlfriend, or five."
Liberty: "I don't think this is appropriate behavior to be going on in the mayor's home children."
Cadence: "Girlfriend? What do you mean you have a girlfriend? I thought we had something going on between us. Do you care to explain yourself?"
Jack: "Don't get all mad at me! You know how I am!"
Jack: "But more importantly, my sources tell me that YOU still haven't broken up with that man lover 'boyfriend' of yours. Care to explain how you expect me to be faithful to you if you can't do likewise?"
Cadence: "You know that I am 100% not his type. This is a non-issue Jack Cosmo. You are just too afraid to actually commit to someone and you are looking for any reason to get out of it that you can you pathetic slime of a man!"
Jack: "I don't have to put up with this type of verbal abuse! With this body I could have anyone I wanted but here I am at your house waiting for YOU to move on from the past. Talk to me when you've done what you needed to do long ago Missy."
Cadence: "Yeah fine, whatever, just get the hell out of my house."
Cadence was not pleased to have to do this, but one evening on the way back from collecting the profits at the bookstore, she happened to see Shiki sitting alone on a park bench.
Cadence: "I truly never wanted to see your face again."
Shiki: "I take it that means you are still mad..."
Cadence: "MAD DOESN'T DO THESE FEELINGS OF MINE JUSTICE. Whatever, it's over between us. It never should have happened anyway. We could have been beautiful and wrecked sweet, sweet havoc all over this town together but you had other plans in mind."
Shiki: (Brace yourself Shiki!)
Cadence: "It's over between us! I will raise our daughter and you will never have to be bothered with the ways of heterosexuality ever again."
Shiki: "Okay okay, point taken. But please don't touch the jacket. This was expensive!"
Apparently fate was with Cadence this night because Jack just so happened to witness the entire scenario from across the way.
Cadence: "Well Jack, it's officially over between Shiki and me. I realized you were right so I made a clean break like you said earlier."
Jack: "I got rid of my baggage too."
Cadence: "All five..?"
Jack: "Well.. it was six actually, sorry I forgot one, and yes, all of them."
Things were going along at legacy speed!
Cadence: "You only like women, right?"
Jack: "Women yes, but you especially."
Cadence: "So that means you'll marry me?"
Jack: "I never thought I'd see the day someone tamed me, but yes, I will marry you Cadence."
Apparently the grocery store is THE place to hang out in Neverglade. A very pregnant Winona can be seen trying to ignore the romantic situation.
Winona: "Look at you going from man to man right in the middle of town. I will never understand playing with two men hearts. You should be ashamed of yourself Cadence."
Cadence: "Oh come off it Ms. Righteous. I happen to know for a fact that you are currently pregnant with my brother Eddie's baby, but you really want to be with my other brother Dempster. Talk about playing two men!"
Cadence took an interest to writing for whatever reason and began writing novels and articles in her spare time. First on the agenda: Destroy Winona Marx-Parvenu.
Cadence: "Two brothers and a Skank: The true story of a family and a woman out to get them-- What an excellent idea for a book!"
Cadence was upstairs writing furiously while Galahad and Illinois were downstairs preparing for a party. It was time to finance that campaign and also it was Aimi's birthday!
Finances went quite well. Liberty was an extremely popular politician much like her predecessor Karst. A very pregnant Clementine Marx was in attendance. And yes, that is indeed Dempster's child.
Galahad: "Haha, look who's birthday it is! The little angel of the family who is so good it hurts! Oh how lovely it is to have a good child in the house. It's just too good to be true!"
Cadence: "I realize you are taunting me Dad. Thank you. Really."
Aimi has Liberty's brown hair and I do believe those are Shiki eyes.
Cadence: "You may be wondering why all these people are here and I asked you to come wearing your finest suit Jack. Well, welcome to our wedding! Tonight you will be mine for the rest of your life, yes?"
Jack: "Correct me if I'm wrong .. but didn't you just propose last night?"
Cadence: "Insightful! I like that in a man."
Jack: "And we're getting married today..?"
Cadence: "Two for two! Hot damn!"
The ceremonies were interrupted by a very pregnant Fern who appeared to be having severe stomach pains during the ceremony.
Fern: "Something isn't right OH THE PAIN. I need to go to the ER RIGHT NOW. If only a doctor like Dad was here..."
We interrupt Fern and her tragedy to have a happy moment with Jack and Cadence.
I have no explanations for what Galahad is wearing, but we're just going to run with it.
Galahad: "Imagine having to save my own daughter at my other daughter's wedding. Ah, the joys of being a papa! Now tell me what hurts?"
Fern: "My abdomen is in severe pain. I think it's the baby. Please tell me what is wrong!"
Having popped out 5 babies of her own, Aunt Harmony was quite concerned. She was also concerned that her baby brother was the doctor.
Galahad: "First I need to check all your vitals. Now look into this."
Fern: "Dad! What is that thing and how is that relevant to my baby?!"
Galahad: "Don't question your Father."
Galahad: "Okay now, eyes on the pen."
Fern: "Okay..."
Fern: "My Dad is trying to kill me!"
Galahad: "Oh come on, you feel better now, don't you?"
Fern was okay and the crisis was avoided thankfully just in time for the ring exchange.
The couple was happy, but it appears the guests have other things on their mind such as the blatant affair that was occurring across the pond. Dempster and Winona, what am I to do with you two!
Dempster: "No one will see us Win. We can get out of here, they are all watching the wedding."
Winona: *whispers" "Tonight. Meet me tonight at the square and we'll run away into the sunset together. I'm divorcing Eddie and you break it off with Clem, ok?"
Dempster: "Easy as pie. Meet you at 11:00?"
I wish you both the best of happiness. Story progression apparently has bigger plans for you than I did.
It was honeymoon time back at the Parvenu house.
Cadence: "I need a baby, and make it evil!"
Jack: "No guarantees about that, but I guarantee you will like what I have to offer you!"
Cadence: "Oh yes, this one will be evil. How can it not be evil when I wear camouflage? I obviously means I will be up to no good during my entire pregnancy."
Despite her big plans, Cadence was having a fairly rough pregnancy. She scrapped the camo in favor of sheep and the evil plans in favor of passing out whenever possible.
Cadence: "At times like these I am glad I am the only person home."
Jack was a very good step-dad. He loved little Aimi probably even more than her own mother.
Aimi: "Dah-dah? Dose fings on da wall awre shawp!"
Jack: "Don't worry, I will keep you safe even if that means I am keeping you safe from your own mother. She means well, she just isn't, uh, good with good people?"
Late one night, Cadence realizes it's time for the baby. Galahad takes her to the hospital.
Cadence: "Dad, I know you are a doctor but you are NOT, I repeat NOT, delivering this baby."
Galahad: "Well honey ... I hate to tell you, but I'm the only doctor on call tonight and I just happen to be here."
Cadence: "Ugh, can we make this situation any more uncomfortable?!"
The labor went smoothly. Galahad truly is a skilled doctor.
Jack: "I saw things I never dreamed of in my scariest nightmares."
Cadence delivered a healthy set of twins-- Zero and Zahara. Zero is a clumsy eccentric and Zahara is an insane loner.
Cadence: "Neither of these babies are evil. Why aren't they evil?"
Galahad: "I'm sure Jack did his best honey so don't be too hard on him."
Days passed by quickly until it was officially the most eventful day in Parvenu history. First, a joint party for Liberty, Zero, and Zahara.
Galahad: "You're gonna get all wrinkled and saggy!"
Liberty: "You're not gonna get any at all! Ha ha!"
Galahad: "I didn't mean it... You were joking, right? I was joking. I swear!"
Next was Zero's cake time. He is yet another Galahad/Eddie/Dempster clone. Mars, get your genes out of my legacy now please, k?
Zahara is still sporting the Mars jaw. It will haunt me until this legacy ends I fear.
During cake, Illinois decides it is a fine opportunity to die.
Cadence: "Oh this is so delightfully evil. I really must speak with Grim about his timing!"
Cadence cried and cried and Jack just looked at her sadly the entire time. It was rather heartbreaking. Zahara is quite entertained so I believe there is hope in that one.
Cadence: "It's evil and I love evil, but it's my Grandma. She saw that I had a proper upbringing and I cannot trust that Mother of mine to do the same. She'll rub off that goodness on my babies."
Illinois: "JUST KIDDING GUYS."
Apparently, Ms. Illinois picked up a death flower somewhere with me not knowing it. I am not sure why elder women do not want to die in this legacy.
Cadence: "I have a new respect for my Grandma. The way she presented that flower in exchange for her life all the while laughing in Grim's face, beautiful."
Later that same day, it was time for another campaign fundraiser. Cadence couldn't let the opportunity to terrorize Dempster some more pass her by.
Cadence: "DEM-STER! THIS IS EDDIE AND YOU TOOK MY WOMAN. I'M GONNA KILL YOU!"
Dempster: "EDDIE, I CAN EXPLA-- Oh hell, it's just you Cadence. Still being a bitch I see."
One may be a clone and the other may still have that misfortunate jaw, but they are cute together.
At the party, a now bald Mandrake took it upon himself to start dissing his own wife, Fern.
Mandrake: "Fern, Fern, what am I to do with you? This behavior is just unacceptable."
Mandrake: "You are just so sexy I can barely contain myself."
Cadence bought chainsaws for the baby room. One for each child.
Cadence: "Mama's little boy gets the first pick of the wall chainsaws. Which do you want my darling?"
Zero: "Zero just wants mama hugs!"
Cadence: "Oh dear, I will pretend I didn't hear that."
Grumpy as usual, Cadence makes her way downstairs for cake time.
Cadence: "If my Aimi doesn't get a wonderful trait, there will be hell to pay."
Thankfully for Cadence, Aimi received the grumpy trait.
Aimi: "I refuse to be happy about this."
Being the good child she was, Aimi took it upon herself to skip her own festivities and clean the very dirty bathroom.
Zabby: "Hope you have some band-aids in that doctor bag of yours sonny because back in my day I was the chess champion."
Galahad: "Oh please."
Galahad lost. Badly.
Zero: "Mama! What you doin' Mama?"
It had to happen sooner or later.
Cadence: "I ain't raising no wuss! That candy is mine!"
Zero learned the cruel ways of the world at the tender age of 2.
Aimi: "Mama? I know you don't like me, but some girls at school were teasing me saying that they heard I didn't have a Daddy and that it's impossible to not have a Daddy. Is this true?"
Cadence: "No, you do have a daddy. Jack is your Dad."
Aimi: "I know he's not my real Dad though. I heard from reliable sources that you had a different boyfriend and that Daddy Jack used to be, as they put it, 'a tail chaser.' Whatever that means."
Cadence: "Well, I guess you are old enough to learn the truth. But I promise you, it's not pretty."
Shiki: "Hello?"
Cadence: "Hi. It's Cadence. Our daughter seems to think she has to have a biological Father."
Shiki: "I want to meet her, can I come over?"
Cadence: "Fine, but it's only to see Aimi, okay?"
Cadence was trying to mentally prepare herself for their re-encounter.
Cadence: "Must not rip his head off... This is for our daughter. "
Shiki: "Hi Cadence. Long time no see.
Cadence: "Must.Hold.Rage.In. I hoped to keep it that way!"
Shiki: "So where is she?"
Cadence: "Your senses must be fading since you went over to the other side. She's right behind you."
Aimi: "Are you my Daddy? Hi! My name is Aimi! I have waited so long to find out who my real Daddy is! I can't wait to play house with you. Mama never wants to play with me because I'm 'so good it hurts her soul' or so she says. Can we play??"
Shiki: "Hi there. Good gracious Cadence, what have you done to our child?!"
Aimi: "I hope you aren't evil like Mama. I hate evil! People that do bad things are bad people and I hate them!"
Shiki: "Oh nuh-uh, she just did not."
Shiki: "How could you raise her to be this way!?"
Cadence: "ME? HA! Where were you huh when I was raising this girl alone? In bed with some MAN?"
Shiki: "I resent that statement."
Aimi: "Daddy is evil too. I want a new family so bad."
The fighting carried up the stairs and into the hallway. Aimi followed.
Cadence: "Watch this Aimi. HEY GUESS WHAT. YOUR ONLY CHILD IS A GOODIE TWO-SHOES!"
Shiki: "Stopt his right now Cadence. My heart cannot take any more today."
Aimi: "Ha! Mama just scared you Daddy but I am fairly sure you just insulted me."
Aimi: "I think you should probably leave and think this over Mr. Shiki Daddy. Think over your morals. You've got to change your evil ways, Daddy!"
Shiki: "And now my moral character is being questioned by a 8 year old. I need to go to bed. Or to a hospital."
The twins are still alive and cute.
Jack: "Are you a new maid? I haven't seen you before."
Jamie: "Yes, I just got started. Actually, you are my brother-in-law too."
Jack: "Oh! Um, what?!"
Jamie: "I eloped with Eddie, your wife's brother? His wife ran out on him and I caught him on the rebound."
Jack: "Well welcome to the family, I suppose."
Jamie: "Now if you'll excuse me, I have a date with my husband."
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Dempster and a pregnant Winona ran off into the sunset and got married and are expecting their first child. I cheered for you guys, so congrats!
Eddie found himself a very lovely looking wife, so don't be too sad for him. Clementine found herself a man, had a baby with said man, and is now dating someone else. Brea is still single and childless.
Eddie and Winona had a son named Chip and Dempster and Clementine had a daughter named Greta.
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