DOUCHE BAG ALERT!
OK everyone -- I've got a semi-DOUCHE BAG ALERT for you all. His name is Taylor Hicks.
I met Taylor Hicks today and it was a rather disappointing experience. I'm a big fan of American Idol, and I made it a personal goal of mine to meet the top 10 of every season -- a goal that I don't really expect to achieve, but it's worth a try. Anywho - Taylor Hicks is in Detroit right now for something like three whole weeks in the touring production of Grease. Why on earth there's such a demand for Grease in Detroit is really beyond me, but that's besides the point. Today Taylor had a show at a small concert hall to promote his new CD (that no one cares about), so I decided to give him my time of day. Well, I don't know if it was really worth it. The guy is a douche. Here's what went down.
I waited for something like two whole hours to meet him (which I believe anyone would think is a long ass time for Taylor Hicks) and when he finally showed up at the concert venue he was mostly a douche to me. He pulled up in a large black limo van thing with his band, and when he hoped out, I approached him politely (mind you, I was the ONLY person there waiting for him) and asked him for his autograph. Without even saying hi, he looked at me snidely and asked me, "Do you have a black pen?" and for the first time in my entire life while meeting a celebrity, I did not. I only had a blue sharpee. (I should have known better. Blue sharpees are used by every autograph seller/collector because I believe they last longer than any other color... I know this, but I couldn't find a black one and I really couldn't be bothered to go out and buy another one for him to use.) So obviously he thought I was an eBay-er or whatever. I responded to him by saying, "Uh (a long UH mind you), I have a blue one!" He did NOT want to sign any autographs for me with my horrible blue sharpee. He muttered something like "Oh, I need a black pen." He asked some guy that was with him if he had a black pen, and the guy did, so luckily for me, he agreed to sign my stuff. I had a copy of his debut CD, an old Entertainment Weekly from 2006 with him on it and this People Magazine book that was released in 2007 that documented all the seasons of American Idol up to that point. I'm an actual American Idol fan, and I don't totally hate Taylor Hicks like the rest of the world (well maybe now) so he really had no reason to immediately believe I was going to sell his signature. As if anyone would freakin' buy it anyway! So he starts signing my stuff, and I notice that the sharpee he's using is SHIT. It's old and dried out, and he's doing a quick, shit job of signing my stuff. He basically ruined everything that he signed for me. I'm so annoyed and disappointed by that. While he was signing I told him that I'd been waiting for over two hours, and tried to make small talk - which he completely ignored. It was awkward. After he signed my stuff, which took something like 2 seconds because he did such a fast, shit job he started walking away and tried to give me the sharpee back. I was like, "Um, that's not mine." I WANTED to say something like "Did you just fucking forget all that black sharpee drama that you just caused??" I quickly pulled out my camera and asked if I could take a picture with him. He hesitated, said "um" for like 3 seconds, looked at the guy that was with him - it was CLEAR he didn't want to do it - so I said PLEEEASEE and he was like, OK, sure. So I barely got the picture with him! I said "Thank you so much! It was great to meet you!" and he replied with a "yeah" as he quickly walked away.
DOUCHE BAG ALERT! So he wasn't a COMPLETE douche, but he was like 85% douche. he *did* sign autographs for me, but they were complete shit and he basically ruined my things (which i PAID for mind you), and he DID pose for a picture with me but trust me he did NOT want to. What a douche bag! So not cool Taylor Hicks, so not cool. I made a cute ONTD sign that I wanted him to hold but I did not even bother to ask him because of all the douche that was radiating from his 50 year old ass. So instead of throwing the nice sign away, I photographed myself with it. I didn't want it to go to waste!
So there you have it ONTD ! Stay clear of Taylor Hicks - he's really not worth your time.
Aaron Carter would NOT approve of Taylor Hicks' douche-ness!
Mods - please approve this. I know it's a long story but the celebrity douche-ness needs to be exposed to the world! We are Oh No They Didn't and WE will not allow our members to be treated like this. I'm doing a public service for us all by spreading the Douche Bag Alert! Also - this IS technically celebrity news. The world knew how much Taylor Hicks sucked - but they did NOT know how much of a DOUCHE he was to fans in person! If anything, please approve it for the Aaron Carter lulz.