The 5 most annoying literary romances...and the 5 most romantic ones
The 5 most annoying literary romances
1. Charlotte Lucas and Mr. Collins from Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice
The only thing more insufferable than Mr. Collins is a woman who willingly shackles herself to him for life. Even though I've read this book countless times, I still cringe every time Elizabeth stays with the pair and sees their married life firsthand. Nothing Stephen King ever wrote could be as horrific.
2. Romeo Montague and Juliet Capulet from William Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet
While I love Shakespeare, I've always detested this pair of impetuous, hot-blooded lovers. Not only do I find the whole love-at-first-sight thing bothersome, their ridiculous inability to think any situation through calmly and rationally (not to mention that Romeo marries Juliet before the corpse of his love for Rosalind is even decently cold) is tiresome.
3. Heathcliff and Cathy Earnshaw from Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights
I hated this book so much I could barely force myself to finish it. I've never understood why readers consider Heathcliff and Cathy's relationship to be so romantic; dysfunctional and destructive seems closer to the mark to me. And who needs enemies when you can count on your supposed devoted lover to do his best to destroy the life of your only child?
4. Tess and Angel Clare from Thomas Hardy's Tess of the d'Urbervilles
Maybe it's the overwhelming melodrama of the story or maybe it's the bare-faced double standard Angel exercises when it comes to Tess; either way, I've always found their quasi-relationship practically unreadable. Incidentally, I'm not the only one: if you've been reading Hardy and need something to wash away the melodrama, cast an eye on Stella Gibbons' Cold Comfort Farm. Ms. Gibbons wrote Cold Comfort Farm after reading a few too many Hardy-esque novels; her tolerance snapped and she penned this hilarious spoof as a critique of melodramatic characters, plots, and literary devices.
5. Max de Winter and The Second Mrs. de Winter from Daphne du Maurier's Rebecca
I enjoyed this book immensely; however, is it just me, or does it seem like Max de Winter married his little unnamed school-girl merely because she was the complete opposite of Rebecca? I don't know a lot about these things, but that can't be a healthy foundation for a marriage. The worst part is when, after she finds out about his skeleton in the closet (or boat, as it were), he mourns that she doesn't have "that lost look that I loved." If I were her, I would have taken that comment as a serious insult.
Let's wash these dysfunctional lovers out of our brains now with the Literary Lover's Hall of Fame:
The 5 most romantic literary romances
1. Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy from Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice
There's a reason why Pride and Prejudice is a universally beloved book: it features one of the most compelling and romantic couples in all of literature. Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy are believable because they are presented, not exclusively as lovers, but as fallible human beings that, when confronted with each other, learn about themselves in the process of learning about each other.
2. Jane Eyre and Mr. Rochester from Charlotte Bronte's Jane Eyre
For about 10 years, Jane Eyre was my absolute favorite book. It not only featured the first English novel heroine that wasn't beautiful, but a plain little creature that ended up getting everything she wanted on her terms -- atta girl! Jane Eyre contains some of the most delightfully romantic scenes in all of literature. My favorite is the one in which Mr. Rochester pretends to be a fortune-telling gypsy in order to find out what Jane thinks about him. I'm no romance fan, but that scene makes me all giggly.
3. Beatrice and Benedick from William Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing
Shakespeare may have annoyed me to death with Romeo and Juliet, but he knocked it out of the ballpark with this pair. Beatrice and Benedick are the sassiest, liveliest pair in literature, both just as willing to laugh at themselves as at someone else. If you haven't yet seen it, Kenneth Branaugh's film adaptation of Much Ado About Nothing, starring himself and Emma Thompson as Benedick and Beatrice, is a gem.
4. Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley from J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series
As soon as it was revealed in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets that Ron's little sister Ginny had a crush on The Boy Who Lived, I knew it was only a matter of time before the inevitable occured, regardless of the Cho Changs and Luna Lovegoods that might seem to get in the way. One of the biggest joys of the series for me was watching and waiting for Harry to finally come to his senses. That scene in Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince when he and Ginny first kiss is one of my favorites out of all seven books.
5. Lord Peter Wimsey and Harriet Vane from Dorothy L. Sayer's Lord Peter Wimsey mystery series
Before my heart was stolen by Martha Grimes' creation, Melrose Plant, Lord Peter Wimsey was my ideal man, and his relentless pursuit of the intelligent but not exceptionally beautiful Harriet Vane seemed the height of perfection to me. Lord Peter Wimsey meets Harriet in Strong Poison and pursues her through several books until their marriage at the beginning of Busman's Honeymoon. It's a pity that Busman's Honeymoon is such an appallingly bad book (actually, the worst book Dorothy Sayers ever wrote, in my opinion). The rest, however, are pure magic.
A note to Twlight haters and Twilight lovers alike on why Edward Cullen and Bella Swan aren't on either list:
While I didn't hate Edward and Bella, I didn't think they merited "most romantic" status either. I find that the love-at-first-sight thing, as well as the you-are-my-only-love-thing-but-Jacob's-pretty-great-too thing prevented me from considering them as an inspiring romance; additionally, I've reacted much worse to too many other literary couples to place them on the most annoying list.
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This list - FTW except maybe Romeo and Juliet.
Sorry, I couldn't get more pics for the other couples!
That's all, have a great Valentine's day.. or like me, a great saturday!