INDIANA JONES 4TW...or something like that.
So I just got back from a screening of the fourth Indiana Jones and I have to say, it was much better than I expected, but the part before the ending...WTF.
Okay, so here are some general thoughts and then a basic outline of the plot, highlight the blank spaces for spoilers.
* First of all, Cate Blanchett is FIERCE. That black bob and her cheekbones seal the deal when it comes to playing a 'Russian badass'.
* Harrison Ford looked a little worse for wear, but it has been 20 years, so we have to give him that.
* Karen Allen was just...no comment. Oh yeah, one comes to mind. SHE SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN IN THE FILM.
* And Shia, Shia, I actually liked his character. And I'm not really a fan of him. But this is where we move onto the plot [see below].
* The plot was a little over the top. Okay, majorly over the top, but it was really only the end before the last scene (where I nearly vomited) that I comtemplated asking for my money back, I found it that riduclous.
* But, the rest of the film made a real homage to the first. There wasn't that much CGI at the start, everything looked quite real and quirky as it used to. We saw Indy teaching again, we saw his house, his hat, the ARK!
* I just think that George and Steven had a real wild night (make that a few) and wrote the end of the script with an alcohol level of 6.0 and over. Because honestly, I was disappointed.
* Nonetheless, it was a true adventure film, and with the added elements of Cate, Shia, and a few plastic looking skeletons, it was a ball of fun.
HIGHLIGHT FROM HERE.
* The opening scene was a little pointless, I mean they could have had a car crash or something, after all, it IS an action film.
* A soon to be classic scene where Indy is pulled from the trunk of the car (driven by Russians who seem to be already the enemy) and picks his hat off the ground in true style. Ray Winestone seems to have become his sidekick over the last few years and they are obviously in some big shit. It is revealed that we are at the warehouse where all the artifacts Indy has found over the years are stored here.
* Cate Blanchett makes her first appearance asking Indy to locate a certain 'mummy' that he uncovered ten years ago. He doesn't appear to recall it but is told it has some sort of attraction (?) to metal. So he promptly uses gun powder thrown into the air to find it. Solve that one for yourselves.
* So they find the mummy in it's mutilated form and then Indy decides it is a good time to become all macho and knock out fifty Russians with the help of his friend...who now has swapped sides. So Indy gives in, or does he...
* Moving on, Indy discovers that the base where his monuments have been stored is next to a nuclear bomb test centre - how conveniant. Nonetheless he survives the explosion by going inside a lead fridge. Gets out, dusts himself off, on we go.
* Back at his school, teaching again, we see the same old scene where every girl stares at him with infatuation. I loved this little scene of homage to the first three films, it reminded me that we were still back around the time of the Cold war. Anywhoo, Indy gets fired from his job. Booooo.
* The Russians have found him again. Shia or Mutt ('what kind of a name is that kid?')saves the day on his trusty Harly.
* So the story unfolds regarding the crystal skull, and a friend of both Indy and Mutt's has disappeared, Oxley.
* And what do you know, we are now in South America looking for a skull. But hey! The Russians are back, thanks to Ray Winestone who has been following them. They promptly take the skull and go to some sort of base camp.
* Blanchett is back and her and Indy share a bit more than one thing in common, hating eachother. But not for long, 'Indiana, stare into the skull's eyes!' Indy becomes posessed, and Oxley remembers.
* Okay, I can tell you're getting bored now, so was I, but hang on, MUTT IS INDIANA JONES SON!! And all of a sudden they're one big happy family. 'Son.' 'Babe.' 'Daddyo.'
* Lots of sword fighting and punching on vehicles as both sides fight for the skull. Cate's black bob managed to stay silky smooth, I wonder what shampoo she uses?
* And Shia swinging on the vines with the monkey's - WTF.
* THE ANTS! Oh, the ants! That was disgusting. How they went inside the soldier and carried him into their nest. Ew.
* '3 times down,' meaning 3 waterfalls down. So the Russians manage to ab-sail down the cliff, but Marion has other ideas. Yeah! Let's drive the car into the water, woohooo! The first cliff, I was like yeah right you couldn't survive that, the second - WTF, INDY'S DEAD! The third, I was about to walk out of the cinema. I mean the waterfalls had rocks and ahh...water and they just climb onto the bank and it's all good.
* Hey! Look up there, let's climb up the cliff with water coming down and survive. Everyone: Sure!
* Wow, Aztec sand. Wow, Aztec gold. Wow, Aztec people running after us. Wow, FREAKING PLASTIC SKELETONS.
* Oh, hello Cate, so nice of you to drop by. What's that, you want all the knowledge of the universe? (but you already have it!!) At this point, Indy smells something really fishy --> aka. it's time to run!
* Now the skeleton's become one alien! And look up, holy mother, it's a UFO! Now Cate has too much knowledge, no it hurts, stop!! Alien: STFU, Russian chick. You will die now!! And then everything is sucked up into this spaceship. Bye Cate. :(
* And then Indiana and Marion marry (WRONG WOMAN INDY! WRONG WOMAN! YOU SHOULD HAVE MARRIED WILLIE!! Okie dokie Dr Jones!
* And there will SO be a sequel with Mutt as Indy. But I won't go see it.
TO HERE.
I did like it, I really did, but wow, it was really, really out there and I know it will test A LOT of Indiana Jone's fans love of the series. I felt a little cheated honestly. But until next time kid!
What did you guys think? I know it isn't Thursday yet in the US, but some of you might already be in on the action.
SOURCE: Me.