Lisa Marie Presley Memoir Recap/Discussion: Chapter 8 (pt one)
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Previous recaps: Chapters 1 & 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 (pt one) || Chapter 6 (pt two) || Chapter 7
Lisa Marie Presley’s memoir From Here to the Great Unknown was 85% done and spread across 16 tapes when she passed away in January 2023. The book consists of Lisa's recollections, daughter Riley Keough's assessments, memories and clarifications, as well as occasional input from Danny Keough, Lisa Marie’s first husband and best friend (and Riley's father).
Heavy trigger warning for drug abuse, talk of suicide and general potentially disturbing subject matter. Please use caution.
Chapter Eight: Ben-Ben (pt one)
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• Lisa says there's no blueprint, there's no map for dealing with an unnamed event (perhaps suicide, the death of a child), there were no books that helped her. No one can help unless they've gone through it.
• No one in the house heard the gunshot. It took almost an hour for anyone to realize Ben was gone. They had to break into the locked room [note: the official report said Benjamin's girlfriend forced the door open with a bobby pin and found him when she had gone to check on him after they had an argument].
• Lisa remembers at 13 having a school friend whom they were told died from sniffing glue. She later found out he shot himself from a teacher. She says she had misconceptions of suicide, she thought if someone talked about it, then they wouldn't do it.
• Riley was woken up at 5:30am on July 12th, 2020 by her phone. She thought something happened to her mom and her heart was racing as her husband told her to pick it up. Her mom's assistant kept repeating that Ben shot himself in the head. Riley doesn't remember getting off the phone but she and her husband got in the car and drove to the hotel as she smoked a cigarette, that was all she remembered about the drive.
• Riley ran to the suite banging on the hotel door. Her mom slept with a white noise machine and she got no answer, so she had to get the security guard and was freaking out begging to be let in. They wouldn't let her in and she started banging on the door harder. She thought about how it would be the end of Lisa Marie’s life when she told her, and every moment after with her mother was going to be a gift. She couldn't imagine Lisa living without Ben, the second man Lisa loved was gone.
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• Riley told a half-asleep Lisa what Ben had done and it didn't register with Lisa. She repeated it and Lisa didn't respond. Then Lisa came to and said she had to go to him. Lisa told the twins something happened to Ben-Ben and when they asked if he was okay, she said no and the twins started crying. They had to leave the twins with the babysitter and Riley had to call her father, who was in Oregon. She doesn't remember the call but remembers Danny saying “what?” Benjamin's death didn't make sense to anyone.
• Riley and Lisa drove to the house and Riley couldn't breathe. The police had barricaded the house with caution tape. A crime scene. Lisa Marie wanted to see Benjamin but the police wouldn't let them so they went to Lisa's bedroom to wait. Neither cried. Riley says when you do finally cry, it's a different cry, a terrifying, endless, bottomless pain.
• The police told them after about two hours of investigating that they don't usually do it but they would let them see Benjamin. Riley describes the state of Benjamin in explicit detail, his face was intact and Lisa started to cry and grabbed his head asking what did he do. Riley remembers Lisa having blood all over her hands and face as she kissed Benjamin's forehead and held him. Riley left her body entirely at that moment as Lisa cried, she was afraid to touch him. She wished she had hugged him one last time. She doesn't know how to describe watching her little brother, her parents’ only son, being driven away in a coroner's van.
• Riley began to understand how people went mute from trauma because she couldn't talk for two weeks. To make matters worse, the covid lockdown happened and everyone had to isolate so Riley, her mother and father were alone. Riley felt like she had also died and saw Ben's face everywhere. She couldn't stand so she would just lay down. A few friends eventually broke lockdown protocol to come to the house and bathe Riley. She was more physically incapacitated than her parents and although she was the most responsible one who took control, she couldn't do any of it and her parents had to make all the funeral arrangements. She thinks they needed to stay busy.
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• It felt like Ben's death was a mistake, people thought he was a force for good. Riley found out things about her brother after he died which upset her because they had been so close. She found out he had an amazing singing voice after finding a voice note on his phone. Lisa Marie hadn't wanted her children to go into singing after what she went through, she discouraged Riley from singing lessons at eight years old after someone had told her singing lessons won't do anything. Lisa wanted to protect her kids.
• Riley didn't know Ben had thought about killing himself, she was gutted he hadn't shared his pain with her. Lisa and Riley looked through his phone to try to understand what happened, Riley found a text message to Lisa a few weeks before he died that read “I think something’s wrong with me, mentally…I think I have a mental health issue.” Riley says he only realized he needed help two weeks before he killed himself, he never tried to heal his pain with therapy even once, he never attempted suicide before, no overdosing and there was no cry for help. She says he hadn't recognized the depth of his depression until it was too late and he reached for a gun.
[OP note: I really hate that I have to fact check this and I sincerely apologize in advance- the coroner's report said while Ben did not personally seek treatment for his mental illness, he had a known history of depression and had tried to take his life six months prior with an overdose of alcohol and cocaine].
https://instagram.com/p/C2J9tgltySA
• They thought about the finality of that, how Benjamin's suicide could have been avoided. The drugs and drinking had dulled his light, blocked his hope, beauty, God, whatever brought meaning. Riley says she saw it happen with her mom too.
• Despite having depression and addiction issues, Ben still had joy and life in him. He had humor and will to live which was apparent to everyone around him. However Lisa's addictions also affected him.
• Riley thought Lisa Marie would relapse following Ben's death but she didn't. Lisa remained sober to honor Ben. She wanted to help others but she was too broken.
• Lisa Marie had Benjamin's body in the house instead of the morgue after being instructed how to tend to the body. She kept him on dry ice in a casita room that was 55 degrees. Riley said like with Elvis, it was important to Lisa Marie to have ample time to say goodbye to Ben and Riley would sit with him too. Lisa says there was no law that you had to bury someone immediately, and she had told the funeral home owner that having her dad in the house after he died was incredibly helpful because she could spend time with him and talk to him. The funeral home owner was empathetic and brought Ben to the house for Lisa. She kept him in the house for two months.
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• Lisa didn't know if she was going to bury Ben at Graceland or Hawaii and that was part of why he stayed in the house for so long. She wasn't bothered by having Ben's body at home, even though she acknowledges it would scare other people to do it themselves. It gave her a chance to process his death. “I felt so fortunate that there was a way I could still parent him, delay it a bit longer so that I could become OK with laying him to rest.”
• Ben had Riley's name tattooed on his collarbone, and Lisa's on his hand. After he died, Lisa and Riley decided to get matching tats of his name. Riley got his name on her collarbone, but Lisa was insistent to have hers exactly as Benjamin had his. The artist needed an example and asked for a photo. Lisa said no but she could show him. Riley thought it was nuts and tried to communicate with her mother with her eyes that she was out of her fucking mind (“I’ve had an extremely absurd life but this moment is in the top five.”). Lisa showed him the body in the casket and the artist was empathetic as Riley stood there in dismay.
• After the tattoo incident, they got a vibe that Benjamin didn't want to be in the house anymore. “‘Guys,’ he seemed to be saying, ‘This is getting weird.’ Even my mom said she could feel him talking to her, saying, ‘This is insane, mom. What are you doing? What the fuck?’”
• Riley calls Ben's funeral the most brutal day of her life, she was shaking in the car. Over a 100 people came to Malibu, breaking covid rules. Benjamin's childhood friends carried his coffin. Deepak Chopra led the ceremony and a Hawaiian friend came to play music and bless Ben traditionally since they spent half their childhoods in Hawaii. Riley had to disassociate as she cried and was struggling to stay alive after seeing her hysterical sisters clinging to Lisa Marie. She tried to hold on to Chopra's words. Letters written for Ben were let go with biodegradable balloons as Jeff Buckley's version of I Shall Be Released played. Benjamin was then sent to Graceland to his final resting place with his grandfather.
• In Benjamin's casket, Riley placed the yellow Nikes of hers that Ben-Ben had wanted so badly in Tokyo.
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For substance abuse treatment and mental health referrals in the US, contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration's (SAMHSA) National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357). UK-wide, call 116 123 or text SHOUT to 85258
Source: me and my handy dandy book and audible account, pics: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven