Comments | ohnotheydidnt: Paris Hilton says she thought she was asexual before meeting her husband Carter Reum

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Paris Hilton says she thought she was asexual before meeting her husband Carter Reum

Feb 18, 2023 23:24

Paris Hilton says she thought she was asexual before meeting her husband Carter Reum:

“I was known as a sex symbol but anything sexual terrified me…I called myself the ‘kissing bandit’ because I only liked to make out. A lot of my relationships didn’t work out because of that.” pic.twitter.com/TL93cORP8D
- Buzzing Pop (@BuzzingPop) February 17, 2023
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paris hilton

Comments 65

nomoneyfun February 19 2023, 05:30:07 UTC

The redemption arc that she's getting is really dizzying. On one hand, she was neglected and mistreated by her family who sent her to that awful boarding school and received sexist vitriol from the media during her heyday. On the other hand, she has a documented history of making racist comments and was a huge enabler of the girls she partied with. Every single interview she's done recently has focused on how she was done wrong with nary a mention of how she was a willing participant in wrongdoing.

penelopetaynt February 19 2023, 05:38:18 UTC

Honestly me pretty soon

spacehero February 19 2023, 06:08:19 UTC

Honestly, I thought I was asexual when I had my first bf but then realized much later that I never really loved him. I was always terrified of sex. After the relationship ended, I met my now husband and gave it up pretty quick, lol.

Paragraph from the Harper's Bazaar Article...presented with no comment because WTF nomoneyfun February 19 2023, 06:18:08 UTC

There is a convenient side to the latest reinvention too. In 2005, the contents of a storage unit she’d used during a move were sold at auction, and a couple of years later, video of an apparently intoxicated 20-year-old Hilton using racial and gay slurs ended up online. When I ask her about it, the story comes back around to her traumatic time in isolation. “Yeah, I’m mortified,” she says. “But after talking to other survivors, I see that so many of the things that I did are classic signs of survival. Everyone lives and learns in life.” In Paris, she writes that in the attack-therapy sessions, “people went for the most obvious target in the ugliest possible language. The N-word. The C-word. The F-word. (Not that F-word, the worse one.) ... I don’t remember half the stuff people say I said when I was being a blacked-out idiot, but I’m not denying it.” She further dispenses with a number of her other cataloged mistakes-including a new one, that she didn’t vote in the 2016 election: “Am I standing by these choices? Would I make the same ( ... )

Re: Paragraph from the Harper's Bazaar Article...presented with no comment because WTF trueloveisrarex February 19 2023, 08:10:53 UTC

that’ll be enough for some people here, especially the ones that never truly had an issue with her homophobic and racist behavior

Re: Paragraph from the Harper's Bazaar Article...presented with no comment because WTF jearsinsears February 19 2023, 08:44:30 UTC

Being a racist or using slurs is not a classic sign of survival or trauma wtf

RE: Paragraph from the Harper's Bazaar Article...presented with no comment because WTF backtoblack February 19 2023, 16:01:57 UTC

This is so bad. It couldn't possibly be that acting cruel and exclusionary gave you a sense of power and control now would it, Paris?

Thread 5

sashwizzled February 19 2023, 09:44:33 UTC

I think everybody needs to learn that not wanting to have sex and not having sex be the be all and end all of your life is a totally normal thing. It's not 'either you want to fuck everybody you see all the time or you're asexual'.

I genuinely don't have any interest in dating/relationships/sex and from my vantage point I just see people with an infinite range of views on and levels of desire for sex kidding themselves into believing that if you're not constantly wanting it (or being willing to tolerate it, in straight women's cases), you're subnormal. Saying 'you're not subnormal, you're ~ace' is just the same attitude with a veneer of ~Discourse on it. Like, no, you're not: the hypersexual attitude we're sold our whole lives by the patriarchal shitshow we live in is the problem.

poordat February 19 2023, 10:27:58 UTC

I feel similarly. Like here, Paris thought she was asexual but it seems to have been a combination of traumas. I think asexuality as a designation often serves as a distraction from very real problems and it keeps people from meaningfully examining themselves or addressing inter and intrapersonal issues.

Normalizing asexuality is infinitely less useful than normalizing healthy sexual expressions in whatever form they take, especially when your sexual expression is eschewing sex entirely if that is what is comfortable at any given time. It's more important to reinforce sex as a personal choice and not a semi public signifier of empowerment or worth.

sashwizzled February 20 2023, 10:30:20 UTC

I have many problems with the asexual community and this is a huge one - being gay or trans or queer is not a symptom of a mental illness or trauma, but lacking sexual feelings absolutely can be, and lacking them entirely quite frankly often is. (In my case, it probably is) It can also be a subconscious response to internalised homophobia - I've seen a lot of lesbians say they thought they were asexual and it turned out they just didn't want to have sex with men.

And a kind, nuanced asexual community would understand this and encourage people to realise that asexuality is a lifelong orientation for some but a stage of life or a sign of a deeper issue for others. Hell, it would encourage the view for everyone that sex is personal and not a public display of your human worth. But it doesn't.

poordat February 20 2023, 14:27:53 UTC

I've seen a lot of lesbians say they thought they were asexual and it turned out they just didn't want to have sex with men.

This is exactly the thing I was thinking about when I made my comment.

Asexuality as an orientation, of a sort, often keeps people - largely women - from honestly examining their sexuality. Many, many women feel alienated from their own sexuality because of the way it has been taken and twisted in so many different ways - if you have sex you’re a whore, if you don’t you’re a prude, if you have too little sex then of course your man will seek it out elsewhere, if you have too much of course he won’t respect you. If you have sex with women it’s for male attention and validation, if it’s not for male attention and validation it’s because you just aren’t attractive enough to men and you have to accept the next best thing ( ... )

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