Quinta: “There’s No Dimming Me” | OWN Spotlight | OWN

[jemgirl90]

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Source:https://youtu.be/nPVmDn_7nFc

Oprah and Quinta Brunson speak about the importance of having a partner that does not try to dim your light. Tune in to the OWN Spotlight: Oprah and Quinta Brunson on Saturday, Nov. 26 at 9/8c, only on OWN.

Ontd; have you ever felt the need to dim

Comments

[godrevypoint]

Ontd; have you ever felt the need to dim your light in a friendship or romantic relationship?

Uh yeah. I honestly hate first dates because as soon as I tell guys what I do for a living they immediately are turned off by how above their job it is or how I make more money. And when I try to date guys in the same profession as me it turns into a competition of who works harder etc. I don’t care what men say they do not want an equal in a relationship.

[jesuisjuan]

Same, girl. It sucks. My girls and I have had instances where men project their insecurities onto us. My last date was Halloween weekend. He had no problem talking about himself, but he never asked me shit, and I was answering my own questions. At one point, he interjected and told me he didn't want to talk about work, but he was fine talking about his. I was so done that day. Men really just want to be above others, needed, or depended on. They want to look smarter. When they see they aren't, they get fragile and insecure. It's all ego, and many need therapy. I'm sorry thar happened to you, bb. The right ones stay, and the bad ones go. There's no need to dim our light and make people stay. I always remind myself and my girls that.

[chocobeans]

Men really just want to be above others, needed, or depended on. They want to look smarter. When they see they aren't, they get fragile and insecure. It's all ego, and many need therapy.Man, I've been seeing so many videos about men and their opinions about women being independent (and they equate that with being masculine, though never defining it more than they don't like being desired but needed (which is dumb because that means anyone can fill that role if they meet the requirements vs being with someone because the other person likes you for you and seem to hate fully-formed, multi-dimensional adult women) and so many comments from other men love to say, "Yup! And that's what's wrong with modern women!" "This is why this generation is doomed." "They're gonna end up lonely old cat women with no man and/or kids." Of course, you see women saying they don't want kids or don't care if they're married or not and are immediately called bitter or that they don't know what they want or that their degrees aren't going to keep them warm. It

[jesuisjuan]

There are studies that talk about how straight men are single more than ever. There are others saying that going to therapy and putting that on dating profiles give you more likes

[virgo7598]

I remember watching her on Buzzfeed years ago; it's so nice to see her success.

[pisley]

Same, she's come so far so fast and she deserves it all. She seems to be a real force for good.

[hauntedcaptcha]

i have followed her since buzzfeed too and it feels so nice watching her grow :) instances where i really like social media.

[juiiicybabe]

i remember first seeing her on that "oooh he got money" vine. amazing what's she done for herself!

[pisley]

I had a friend I felt I had to dim myself around and now we're no longer friends. I assumed I just "adulted" earlier than her and she would catch up and we'd be level again, but she keeps acting like her best days were freshman year of university and that is just no way to live. Seeing people stagnate is sad.

[therearewords]

Sad and frustrating.

[martha_cf]

This!

Realizing that a friend has stagnated emotionally is horrible. Especially when it comes to holding on to hold behaviors that are toxic and immature.

[sitakhet]

Most of the time I don't even know where to start when explaining the depth of my weird self, and therefore I am single.

But I've definitely had "friends" where I wouldn't bring up what I liked because they would always go on a rant about why that thing sucked etc etc
Those type of people are so toxic.

[beaucadeau]

you can't let anyone diminish you, and you can't diminish yourself