Anna Paquin is sick of your sh*t

[gloeden2]

View this post on Instagram


A post shared by Anna Hélène Paquin (she/her) (@_annapaquin)

Earlier in the day, she also shared a screen grab on her Instagram Story of a user comment that read, in part, "I am getting tired of seeing 'bi' celebrities constantly advocate for it only to end up conventionally married to men with

Comments

[ishumy]

Sigh. I get it, it's annoying to have people forgetting you're not straight or assuming you're straight, but I don't think bi women with men as their SO lamenting not being "enough" is doing anything... Being "straight-passing" is a luxury in society, at the end of the day, no matter how much it sucks when seeing it from the inside.

[soulhades]

I don't plan on ever coming out to my family in fear of my dad's reaction, so people whining because they are sometime mistaken as straight people is...an experience.

[pumpkins_n_pups]

I came out as bi, inadvertently, to my family after being married to a man for a year and change. didn't see them but two more times before we had a falling out that resulted in me going no contact. Can't help but wonder how much that had to do with it, especially knowing my mom wouldn't sign the permission slip to form a GSA in high school with my (quickly a lesbian) best friend because "she didn't want me living a hard life" so literally boo to every biphobic person here, BOO.

[likeiused2]

my parents are extremely vocal about how wrong gayness is. surely you can relate to how that must feel, to know you will not be accepted for who you are, even if you're in a perceived straight relationship? I have to just listen to my parents talk down about the person I am, and keep that part of me a secret. living a lie is not a good feeling, hon.

[mzgrottesca]

Pretty much lol. I didn't come out to my family until I was 25 years old and only because my family's perspective on LGBT issues had evolved a lot over the years. Being "mistaken as straight" in high school is what kept me from being kicked out of the house.

when ppl mistake me as straight, I profit. when ppl mistake me as a lesbian, i fear for my life. it is simple lmao.

[march_runaway]

i feel like this is exactly what she was arguing against

[wistfulwisp]

I may be wrong but I think her problem is with people denying her identity more so than them forgetting it.

Someone telling you that you're straight after you've already explicitly said you're bi isn't the same as someone assuming you're straight because you're not in a same-sex/gender relationship.

[blorpz]

this clarified a lot for me so i appreciate you taking the time to type it out

(and i totally get what oc was reacting to too)

[ishumy]

That's a good point, but I think that for me, as much as it sucks (and I know it knows, as a bisexual woman), I think it's a moot point from me coming from a celebrity, since most bisexual women in showbusiness seem to already be in relationships with people from the opposite gender.

[wistfulwisp]

How is it a moot point, though? Anna's comment is: she's still a bisexual woman even though she is married to a man.

Nothing from her comment indicated to me that she was denying her privilege or that she believed her experience with bi-erasure was worse than others.

I agree, though, with your view that a bisexual woman in a monogamous relationship with a man has privilege that she wouldn't have if the monogamous relationship was with a woman.

[craww]

That's not really what this post was addressing, though. So what's the play here?

People being snide about bisexuals ending up in opposite-sex relationships is such a pervasive and unnecessary dig. Are bisexual people obligated to ignore these comments because they have straight passing privilege? Why is the onus on bisexual people to swallow their irritation at this shitty narrative, instead of on the people who keep spreading it?

[einodia]

i mean anyone who walks into a grocery store with a bunch of strangers and buys milk and then walks out of the store without stopping to tell everyone they're gay is also straight-passing. that's the reality of the world we're in.

yes, bi/pan folk in heterosexual pairings will have that experience more frequently, particularly when dating; but i don't see how the answer to this situation is to get mad at bi people for straight peoples' opinions.

what would you have us do, make out with every person we meet? that plays into 'predatory bisexual sluts' stereotypes. we can't win.

[mzgrottesca]

i mean anyone who walks into a grocery store with a bunch of strangers and buys milk and then walks out of the store without stopping to tell everyone they're gay is also straight-passing. that's the reality of the world we're in.

That is deeeefinitely not true lol.

[einodia]

oh so everyone who has ever looked at a gay or lesbian person knows automatically they're gay or lesbian, but somehow their gay-dar misses bi people? interesting.

[mzgrottesca]

????? lmao people have bi vibes all the time but being in a visibly straight relationship generally drowns that out.

[einodia]

bi people get the assumption we're straight more frequently, and we don't necessarily pop that heteronormative bubble as often, since some of our relationships will blend in with those assumptions unless we vocally share that other side of ourselves. but that doesn't mean straight people only assume bi people are straight and never assume the same of gay or lesbian people.