IDK maybe it's because I tend to go for more geeky guys but I've generally had to take the lead in the early stages of most of my relationships, including with my current BF. I messaged him first on OKCupid (which isn't match-based), I was the one to suggest we meet up, I asked him out on a second date, etc. Things evened out over time (e.g. he was the one to initiate the whole DTR convo) so it's not like I'm dragging him along on the relationship lol but some dudes really are just shy.
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