ONTD Original: Gemini Problematic Faves and Problems!
It’s FINALLY 
season! And in true gemini fashion, we made sure to get this post to you late, half-assed, but hopefully full of wit and charm-- just like our Gemini friends! So, let’s get to the best part and take a look at the Gemini PROBLEMS. Shout out to Johnny Depp for outdoing himself and jumping from Problematic Fave to Problem while we were writing this!
Problematic Faves
Prince - June 7th
An ever changing aesthetic with a iconic sound, Prince delivered on his Gemini creativity, and sometimes, the Gemini big mouth too! He lands on our problematic-fave lists, because despite the legendary jams, he’s definitely been on record as homophobic, a [somewhat] devout Jehovah’s Witness, and overall judgemental snob. Still, he was gone too soon.
Marilyn Monroe - June 1st
Talk about a tale of two faces! On screen, she radiated and shined, but behind the scenes, she was an anxiety-ridden vixen, known for her bouts of stage fright and tumultuous love affairs. While history remembers her as a timeless sex symbol and rising-star who died too soon; the suspicious circumstances around her death and the alleged love affairs with high-profile people of power have always left us wondering about the tragic mystery of Norma Jean.
Amy Schumer - June 1st
One of the many traits of Gemini’s is to be able to make light of serious issues with a little snarky satire and ironic punchlines, which Amy can do in spades! However, like many Gemini’s, she has boundary issues; once you get a couple laughs, you keep pushing the line until you cross over from funny to stfu.
Ice Cube - June 15th
Being able to change your image rather effortlessly is a special Gemini talent, once that Ice Cube has tapped into-- going from a hard rapper, to a stoner comedy king, to dipping into family friendly movies. However, his associations, particularly in his music career, are questionable, as is his involvement with shady shit that happened on the rap scene in the 90’s.
Kanye West - June 8th
A fave pastime of Gemini’s is to talk endlessly with little knowledge and no real point. This is something that Kanye gets the trophy for as most of his interviews end up in some type of endless thought stream that will often include touches of misogyny, pleas for acceptance, rhetorical questioning, separation from reality, but also, a hint of an actual credible thought.
Naomi Campbell - May 22nd
Naomi slays us with her no bullshit attitude and amazing supermodel skills, but we also know she’s a class A bitch who isn’t afraid to hurt you for crossing her. Still though, she’s maintained high profile connections and friendships over the years, so she can’t be all bad all the time, right? It just depends which twin you run up on that day.
TuPac - June 16th & Biggie - May 21st
You may say these two are the East Coast/West coast twins of the 90’s rap scenes. Both are know for the release of iconic music that has stood the test of time decades after their deaths and set the bar for a genre that still fights for respect. However, the notorious feuding and gang involvement which ended both rappers lives will forever keep their place in our hearts a problem.
Plain Ol Problems
Donald Trump - June 14th
This business mogul, turned reality TV show star, turned disastrous Republican presidential nominee is the epitome of everything we can’t stand in solar Gemini’s-- narcissistic, two-faced, flip-floppy, candid to a fault, exaggerates his success and freaks everyone out with excessive hyperbole that doesn’t really go anywhere. Yet, he still thinks everyone should love and adore him because he’s such a nice, funny, charming guy, right?
Clint Eastwood - May 31st
Republican Party member and chair talker Clint Eastwood was once a hot young actor. Sadly, this Gemini is now past his glory days and enjoys spending his time creating American Imperialist propaganda films.
Mark Wahlberg - June 5th
Marky-Mark has had an extensive career that, in true Gemini fashion, put his fingers in a lot of pies. Whether it’s modeling in his underwear, his Vanilla-Ice-esque music career, a variety of movie roles, television cameo’s, and producing, he has become a known figure in entertainment. Too bad he’s not more known for his dickheadedness which landed him in prison as a young man after brutally assaulting a man. He seems to have turned things around-- that is, until he opens his mouth.
Iggy Azalea - June 7th & Azalea Banks - May 31st
Most Gemini’s think they’re being clever when they talk shit, but these two take it to the next level. Ever since their lives took a big ole belly-flop, both have resorted to social media to address critics and while you can tell that they think they’re so smart and revolutionary, like a lot of Gemini’s, their self-centric viewpoints and overall shallowness have them constantly and consistently missing the point. The best part, at least for the rest of us, is when they start going in on each other. Gemini is the sign of the twins and these two might as well Twin-Up in messiness.
Farrah Abraham - May 31st
Starving for attention? Willing to do anything for it? Trying to make bad life choices look like good business prowess and social progressivism? Must be a messy Gemini! Ever since her debut on Teen Mom, we’ve known something wasn’t quite right with Farrah, but after her several failed attempts at fame; which include a horrible song, a shitty book, an allegedly “leaked sex tape” that she shot with a porn star, some type of venture into frozen yogurt and dildo’s-- Now only one thing is certain, she definitely feeds into her Gemini Sun’s delusions of reality.
Elisabeth Hasselbeck - May 28th
We all know those high and mighty Gemini’s who think they’re the smartest and have no problem spouting out their opinions like they’re gold. However, the downside can be that Gemini, the messenger, tends to repeat information they hear without having too much of an actual understanding of the issue at hand. Her ability to combine attention-seeking with convincingly spewing bullshit is probably what landed Elisabeth her talking head position on FOX, after several demoralizing years on The View where she was the token conservative that everyone got to disagree with.
Johnny Depp - June 9th
He’s managed to harness his mercurial Gemini nature into a successful career where he’s used the many Gemini faces to play a wide array of characters and become a beloved Hollywood figure. There’s a dark twin under the surface though; one that struggles with addiction issues, has a violent temper, and can rot in hell for being an abusive hothead who tried to use a malicious PR campaign (Gemini IS the messenger after all) to smear his victim-- until it backfired, because even the most cunning messengers can get shot down.
Please give a big thank you to this month's writer, gemini and ONTD astrology pioneer calinewarkwc69. Thanks for your patience! That's right, we're starting with the problems this time. Stay tuned this week for the faves!
source: 1
season! And in true gemini fashion, we made sure to get this post to you late, half-assed, but hopefully full of wit and charm-- just like our Gemini friends! So, let’s get to the best part and take a look at the Gemini PROBLEMS. Shout out to Johnny Depp for outdoing himself and jumping from Problematic Fave to Problem while we were writing this!
Problematic Faves
Prince - June 7th
An ever changing aesthetic with a iconic sound, Prince delivered on his Gemini creativity, and sometimes, the Gemini big mouth too! He lands on our problematic-fave lists, because despite the legendary jams, he’s definitely been on record as homophobic, a [somewhat] devout Jehovah’s Witness, and overall judgemental snob. Still, he was gone too soon.
Marilyn Monroe - June 1st
Talk about a tale of two faces! On screen, she radiated and shined, but behind the scenes, she was an anxiety-ridden vixen, known for her bouts of stage fright and tumultuous love affairs. While history remembers her as a timeless sex symbol and rising-star who died too soon; the suspicious circumstances around her death and the alleged love affairs with high-profile people of power have always left us wondering about the tragic mystery of Norma Jean.
Amy Schumer - June 1st
One of the many traits of Gemini’s is to be able to make light of serious issues with a little snarky satire and ironic punchlines, which Amy can do in spades! However, like many Gemini’s, she has boundary issues; once you get a couple laughs, you keep pushing the line until you cross over from funny to stfu.
Ice Cube - June 15th
Being able to change your image rather effortlessly is a special Gemini talent, once that Ice Cube has tapped into-- going from a hard rapper, to a stoner comedy king, to dipping into family friendly movies. However, his associations, particularly in his music career, are questionable, as is his involvement with shady shit that happened on the rap scene in the 90’s.
Kanye West - June 8th
A fave pastime of Gemini’s is to talk endlessly with little knowledge and no real point. This is something that Kanye gets the trophy for as most of his interviews end up in some type of endless thought stream that will often include touches of misogyny, pleas for acceptance, rhetorical questioning, separation from reality, but also, a hint of an actual credible thought.
Naomi Campbell - May 22nd
Naomi slays us with her no bullshit attitude and amazing supermodel skills, but we also know she’s a class A bitch who isn’t afraid to hurt you for crossing her. Still though, she’s maintained high profile connections and friendships over the years, so she can’t be all bad all the time, right? It just depends which twin you run up on that day.
TuPac - June 16th & Biggie - May 21st
You may say these two are the East Coast/West coast twins of the 90’s rap scenes. Both are know for the release of iconic music that has stood the test of time decades after their deaths and set the bar for a genre that still fights for respect. However, the notorious feuding and gang involvement which ended both rappers lives will forever keep their place in our hearts a problem.
Plain Ol Problems
Donald Trump - June 14th
This business mogul, turned reality TV show star, turned disastrous Republican presidential nominee is the epitome of everything we can’t stand in solar Gemini’s-- narcissistic, two-faced, flip-floppy, candid to a fault, exaggerates his success and freaks everyone out with excessive hyperbole that doesn’t really go anywhere. Yet, he still thinks everyone should love and adore him because he’s such a nice, funny, charming guy, right?
Clint Eastwood - May 31st
Republican Party member and chair talker Clint Eastwood was once a hot young actor. Sadly, this Gemini is now past his glory days and enjoys spending his time creating American Imperialist propaganda films.
Mark Wahlberg - June 5th
Marky-Mark has had an extensive career that, in true Gemini fashion, put his fingers in a lot of pies. Whether it’s modeling in his underwear, his Vanilla-Ice-esque music career, a variety of movie roles, television cameo’s, and producing, he has become a known figure in entertainment. Too bad he’s not more known for his dickheadedness which landed him in prison as a young man after brutally assaulting a man. He seems to have turned things around-- that is, until he opens his mouth.
Iggy Azalea - June 7th & Azalea Banks - May 31st
Most Gemini’s think they’re being clever when they talk shit, but these two take it to the next level. Ever since their lives took a big ole belly-flop, both have resorted to social media to address critics and while you can tell that they think they’re so smart and revolutionary, like a lot of Gemini’s, their self-centric viewpoints and overall shallowness have them constantly and consistently missing the point. The best part, at least for the rest of us, is when they start going in on each other. Gemini is the sign of the twins and these two might as well Twin-Up in messiness.
Farrah Abraham - May 31st
Starving for attention? Willing to do anything for it? Trying to make bad life choices look like good business prowess and social progressivism? Must be a messy Gemini! Ever since her debut on Teen Mom, we’ve known something wasn’t quite right with Farrah, but after her several failed attempts at fame; which include a horrible song, a shitty book, an allegedly “leaked sex tape” that she shot with a porn star, some type of venture into frozen yogurt and dildo’s-- Now only one thing is certain, she definitely feeds into her Gemini Sun’s delusions of reality.
Elisabeth Hasselbeck - May 28th
We all know those high and mighty Gemini’s who think they’re the smartest and have no problem spouting out their opinions like they’re gold. However, the downside can be that Gemini, the messenger, tends to repeat information they hear without having too much of an actual understanding of the issue at hand. Her ability to combine attention-seeking with convincingly spewing bullshit is probably what landed Elisabeth her talking head position on FOX, after several demoralizing years on The View where she was the token conservative that everyone got to disagree with.
Johnny Depp - June 9th
He’s managed to harness his mercurial Gemini nature into a successful career where he’s used the many Gemini faces to play a wide array of characters and become a beloved Hollywood figure. There’s a dark twin under the surface though; one that struggles with addiction issues, has a violent temper, and can rot in hell for being an abusive hothead who tried to use a malicious PR campaign (Gemini IS the messenger after all) to smear his victim-- until it backfired, because even the most cunning messengers can get shot down.
Please give a big thank you to this month's writer, gemini and ONTD astrology pioneer calinewarkwc69. Thanks for your patience! That's right, we're starting with the problems this time. Stay tuned this week for the faves!
source: 1