it's not so much worrying that you'll hurt me anymore, as it is that you obviously have issues that you realize are there, and if you don't try to figure out how to get to the root of this problem now, it'll never be fixed and even if you "get the fuck out of here", and make new friends, etc.. this problem will come up again and again in the future until you decide to step up do something about it. i think it hurts the most to know that you are acknowledging it, and yet you still refuse to do anything about it. and it fucking pisses me off, because we have been friends for how long, now? 6+ years? and how close have we been? i've always considered you my best friend, and we have always had so much fun together, and now you're just going to move away and block me and our friendship out of your mind simply because you don't want to "deal with it". that's what fucking hurts the most.
also, maybe if you went back over this entry and read what you've said here, you'd realize how much you talk about how you feel. that's part of the problem. all you ever look at is your side of every issue, and it's really always all about you. you're always the one that's unhappy, you're the one that "needs to feel wanted", you're the one that "feels inadequate", and it goes on and on, and that's how it's always been. i feel like whenever we argue, it's always you telling me how you feel, and really you never seem to give a shit about how i feel about situations (i.e. the other night when you were talking about spencer, once you realized that tiffany and i didn't agree with what you were saying, you got upset and said "it doesn't matter what you think, because it's not about you, it's about me."). and it's just frustrating because you always feel the need to give your opinion about everything, and then you don't even want to hear what anyone else has to say. if it didn't matter what we thought, and all you were going to do was storm
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well it is MY journal.. it's a journal about how i feel. and this isn't something that should be discussed through comments on livejournal so like i said yesterday if you wnat to call me my phone is on.
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and i really would have nothing to say to you on the phone right now, i don't know if there is much else that i have to say to you.
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