How Not to Impress a Host [Chapter 4]
Title: How Not to Impress a Host [Chapter 4]
Pairing(s): Donghae-centric. Donghae/Eunhyuk; side!Han Geng/Heechul and Yesung/Sungmin
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Friendship, a fair bit of Angst
Disclaimer: Contrary to popular belief, no one owns them.
Warning: Mild language and mature themes.
Summary: Donghae knows that ‘getting smitten with a fair-skinned host and bumbling through many attempts of courting said host’ was definitely not part of his job scope as a valet, but he won’t relent in his pursuit; even if it meant going through abject mortification and more.
Previous Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3
There was a stumbling block that Donghae encountered upon completing his first month at the establishment; it had been awaiting his attention ever since the start of his vocation, somehow managing to escape Donghae’s consideration for so long.
As he had joined Guilty Pleasures near the start of the new school semester, his scholarly schedule was lax enough to allow him the nocturnal working hours determined by his post, with his social responsibilities and weekly hour-long phone calls to his family back in Mokpo settled on weekends.
However, his assignments were starting to impose on him, with their looming deadlines scaring even a carefree spirit like Donghae enough to force him into spending sleepless nights at his study desk, frowning over his laptop; his grimacing expression illuminated by the dim blue light emanating from the charged device. Donghae wasn’t used to the suddenly tight schedule, and his weariness transcended to his behaviour and interactions around people; his usually jovial disposition was reduced to a dull, passive temperament and his replies cut down harshly into blunt, unintentionally terse responses.
Donghae’s sudden sullenness hadn’t gone unnoticed by the staff at Guilty Pleasures; they were all too fully aware of his recent shift in behaviour but hadn’t asked about it, worrying that Donghae would read too much into their innocuous questions and respond to them negatively, finding their concern displaced and unneeded.
Finally, Heechul decided to break the duct and summoned Donghae into his office, right before the club was opened to clients. Donghae stalked passively into Heechul’s office, before plonking his body onto the office chair placed in front of Heechul’s desk. Having awaited Donghae’s arrival, Heechul perched himself at the edge of his desk, tilting his head as he surreptitiously did a full-body inspection of Donghae.
Donghae’s modestly designed black mask had shielded his eyes from Heechul’s own prying ones, but the latter could still detect the weariness radiating from the half-open lids; clearly, it was a trying task to even keep them open completely. His posture was respectful as usual, his back straightened and his head upright and rapt with attention, though his body was alist, relying on the left arm of the office chair for support. His work clothes were still neatly pressed and presentable, though there were noticeably more creases and crinkles that Heechul’s discerning eyes frowned at.
“Donghae,” Heechul spoke up, after finishing his inspection of Donghae. “How are you doing?”
“I’m fine, Heechul-hyung. Thank you for asking,” came Donghae’s immediate, monotonous reply, almost as if he had been expecting that very question from Heechul.
Heechul didn’t bother to hide his grunt of disbelief and he slowly unfurled his crossed arms, leaning forward closer to Donghae, surveying the younger man with a frown. In response, Donghae turned away quickly; he was deeply unsettled by Heechul’s hard gaze.
“If you hadn’t noticed, I don’t take to bullshitting well, so answer me properly, Donghae,” Heechul stated plainly, his tone coming out harsher than he had actually intended it to be. “What’s been eating at you recently?”
Donghae slowly turned back to face Heechul, his cheeks glazed with a reddish hue brought about by Heechul’s blunt statement. He bowed his head in embarrassment, uncomfortable with what he was about to reveal.
“I-I just can’t handle my schedule anymore, Heechul-hyung,” Donghae admitted meekly, as he stared at his clasped hands. “What with assignments and work and everything...I find it really hard to get up in the morning at times.”
Exhaling a long, drawn out sigh, Heechul’s lips curled into a small smile. He reached out and patted Donghae’s shoulder gently, chuckling when the latter gave a little start at his action.
“You should have told me earlier, Donghae,” Heechul said, before sliding off his desk and heading to a drawer at its side. Pulling out a heavy-looking binder file, Heechul tossed it onto the desk before sifting through the well-maintained sheets of paper, stopping at a certain page.
“So you need to cut down on your working hours, right?” Heechul said absently, his eyes concentrating on the sheet of paper, with a pen poised in between his fingers. Heechul looked up when his question still hadn’t elicited a response from Donghae.
“Y-yes...” Donghae stammered, shrinking into his seat as he watched Heechul scribble and cross out a couple of lines on the paper. “Just for a few weeks or so...”
“You shouldn’t feel guilty, Donghae,” Heechul’s voice punctured the pauses in between the scratching made by his pen. “We’re not unreasonable people. Besides, Hyukjae’s working schedule is modified, just like yours. Any form of accommodation is okay, as long as it’s fair.”
The mere mention of Hyukjae’s name caused Donghae to instinctively raise his head. “Hyukjae too?”
Heechul shot Donghae a wry smile. “Well, you do know that he’s in the same year of study as you, right? Hyukjae had asked for an accommodation in his working hours just like you, and I had to force it out of him as well. You youngsters are too timid for your own good, honestly.”
Donghae didn’t have to feel guilty about his special arrangement after all; Hyukjae was in a similar predicament. He knew that he and Hyukjae were the youngest workers in the establishment, having learned about the less intrusive personal information, such as hobbies and ages, about his fellow co-workers, especially the special quintet that Donghae nursed a soft spot for.
Among other things, he learned that Youngwoon especially liked draft beer (not that it wasn’t already noticeable), Heechul was pushing thirty-one years of age (that particular piece of information he had gotten from Han Geng; Donghae was too afraid to broach the sensitive topic of age with a person like Heechul), Han Geng enjoyed reading classic Chinese literature during breaks (which explained the slightly yellowed, dog-eared books lying around the elder’s workspace), Sungmin loved taking care of the stray cats straggling around aimlessly in the alley next to building the club was housed in (Donghae had nearly thought the figure sneaking around shiftily in the alley was a malevolent phantom), and as for Hyukjae...
Well, Hyukjae was something of an enigma. Other than learning of Hyukjae’s twitchiness whenever his personal cleanliness was called into question and his habit of sneaking his homework during work, Donghae only had vague assumptions of Hyukjae’s character based on his observations of the other’s behaviour. As of now, Hyukjae was deemed by Donghae to be highly attentive of his appearance, judging from his constant adjusting of his work clothes, and was withdrawn around strangers, seeing as he was notably meek when conversing with clients as compared to his normal, relaxed behaviour with his colleagues.
Yet, the biggest mystery regarding Hyukjae was raised when Donghae happened to emerge from the washroom only to walk in on Hyukjae’s conversation with Sungmin.
Just as he exited the washroom, Donghae could hear and recognise the pair’s voices. While their voices seemed casual at first, upon closer inspection, they were in hushed, whispered tones, as if the pair did not want the other occupants of the locker room to eavesdrop on their discussion.
“-I’ve calculated the estimated figure and I’m not sure if my salary will be enough to support this month’s payment,” Hyukjae muttered; a quiet, almost desperate sense of urgency seeping from his tone. “The bill’s been climbing recently and I don’t want to pester Heechul-hyung with an advance pay, especially seeing how my workload’s cut down this whole month-“
“Heechul-hyung knows and understands your predicament, Hyukkie,” Sungmin interjected softly. “I’m sure he’ll understand. You just need to sit down and talk to him-“
“But that’s just as good as me taking advantage of the club’s kindness!” Hyukjae retorted, his breathing becoming shallower due to his increased frustration. “And I don’t like that feeling. I’ve already intruded on the club’s kindness after Joo-nim and Heechul practically came up with this post just for me-“
So the position of receptionist host was included only after Hyukjae had applied for a job here? Donghae was definitely intrigued; did it mean that Hyukjae had actually been turned away from the establishment? How it turn out that a new post was made solely for Hyukjae? Was it because of his circumstances; said circumstances enshrouded in a cloak of mystery...
“Donghae? Donghae!”
“Huh?” Donghae replied intelligibly.
From the corner of the row of lockers Donghae had been hiding behind, Sungmin and Hyukjae were both eyeing him guardedly; their tense postures giving away their hostility.
Sensing the heavy atmosphere in the air, Donghae attempted to downplay his position by bringing his hand up to scratch his head nervously and letting slip a self-conscious giggle.
“Am I interrupting anything?” He asked innocuously, widening his brown eyes as an extra precaution. The pair’s body language was practically screaming high-alert, like they were going to pounce on Donghae any moment now. “I really didn’t mean to intrude on your conversation, I swear.”
“No, you weren’t,” Sungmin replied smoothly, just as Hyukjae was about to open his mouth. “Have you just recently arrived for work, Donghae? I didn’t see you in here five minutes ago.”
Sungmin decided that erasing the earlier situation by pretending it hadn’t occurred was best; he uncrossed his previously folded arms and shot Donghae a small, albeit noticeably strained smile. Likewise, Hyukjae followed Sungmin’s lead and relaxed his defensive stance.
Donghae was thankful for Sungmin’s handy evasive technique; he wasn’t sure if his false pretence of feigning ignorance could continue to prove convincing.
-
It seems like everyone in this club has secrets, Donghae thought pensively as he leaned against his valet stand. Everyone else knew something personal about the other, and Donghae was left out of the loop, due to his position as the relative newcomer in the club.
Donghae wasn’t in any position to try and wrest additional personal information from any of his co-workers; the risks of slighting them were too high and he wasn’t willing to jeopardise his burgeoning rapport with them just to appease his abnormally insatiable curiosity.
It didn’t stop Donghae’s mind from pondering the possibilities, though; all the what-ifs and maybes regarding their backgrounds. Donghae wasn’t nosy in any way, he was merely curious.
That said, these sorts of things were of a reciprocal matter, meaning that if Donghae had wanted to be accepted into his co-workers’ field of trust, he would have to do some disclosing on his own account. Yet, Donghae was just too scared of the possible repercussions; his sincere attempts of reaching out brushed away with an indifferent response, or even worse, they would turn their backs on him, rejecting him. The welcoming party had assuaged Donghae’s fears, but only temporarily.
The masks that the employees were required to wear were only a form of physical protection; there was a secondary, metaphorical mask that they each wore, a facade to hide their true feelings and suffering.
On Donghae’s part, he admitted that it was truly naive of him to have had believed that the ornamental mask, serving as physical protection, was enough. In comparison to the hardened facades that the others had built up around them, the mask was but a mere flimsy, gilded defence.
-
At the end of his shortened shift, Donghae headed over to the bar counter, with every intention of apologising to Han Geng for the sudden change in their departure schedule. Seeing as Donghae needed to leave the club by 11pm, he could no longer commute with Han Geng and Heechul in the bartender’s car.
“Hankyung-hyung!” Donghae called out to get the elder’s attention in advance; the latter was bent over a book, his finger tracing the page silently.
Upon hearing his name, Han Geng shifted his attention from the book to the direction of the voice which had called him, and he smiled warmly when his eyes met Donghae’s.
“Water?” Han Geng questioned, marking a page in his book with a slight fold at the topmost edge.
Donghae stalled for a moment, but he shook his head, deciding that quenching his thirst was not of utmost importance as compared to informing Han Geng of his temporarily shortened working hours.
“I can’t go home with you and Heechul-hyung for the next few weeks,” Donghae started, nervously surveying the other’s expression. “I have important assignments due in the coming weeks and there’s also a day where I can’t come for work because there’s a test I have to study for, so I have to leave work earlier for a few weeks. And because of that, I can’t go home with the two of you and-and I’m sorry.“
“I understand,” Han Geng said simply, his gentle smile amplifying his relaxed tone. “There is no need to apologise, Donghae. I understand the added pressures you face outside this club; not only are you a part-timer, you are also a full-time student, meaning that there are surely other things that require your attention.”
Donghae blinked mutely, wondering if Han Geng had actually already gotten his intentions behind apologising.
“So you’re not mad...?” Donghae asked tentatively. He had already troubled the older man by forcing him to accommodate him into his schedule. It may seem like a trivial thing to others, but to someone like Donghae, who disliked imposing himself onto others in any way, it was akin to him selfishly manipulating them.
Han Geng shook his head lightly, his bemused expression telling Donghae that he was surprised that Donghae had even considered the thought of him getting even the slightest bit angry over the matter.
“I am not,” Han Geng replied. “And neither is Heechul, in case you are wondering. He had actually informed me of your state of affairs, but I was waiting for your own explanation. Like what I have said earlier, I understand. Of course, I will miss your company but I am in no place to complain, aren’t I?”
Donghae’s cheeks instantly coloured over Han Geng’s friendly comment. Even if the elder had meant it in a joking way, Donghae still cherished its affectionate allusion.
“It’ll only be for a while! Besides, you still have Heechul-hyung!” Donghae shot back teasingly, remembering the other person in their arrangement.
“You mean that I have Heechul’s loud snoring accompanying me throughout the journey home,” Han Geng deadpanned, referring to said person’s habit of shutting his eyes as soon as they had driven out of the Itaewon district.
“Not that you’re any better though, Donghae. Your snores sometime join Heechul’s to make such a pleasant harmony.”
“Hey!” Donghae exclaimed, jutting out his lower lip to form a defeated pout. “I thought you said that you would miss my company?”
Han Geng’s eyes twinkled mischievously, as he chuckled over Donghae’s indignant reaction. Twisting his body, he reached out and ruffled Donghae’s hair, his hand patting the latter’s head playfully. Donghae’s hands shot up in retaliation, crying out in jest over Han Geng’s treatment of his slightly gelled hair.
-
“So you’re really leaving me alone, huh? How could you, Donghae?” The voice enquired, making Donghae roll his eyes at the overdramatic whine it ended with.
Donghae turned on his heels and shot Youngwoon a sceptical stare, to which Youngwoon responded with few quick wiggles of his eyebrows and a coy tilt of his head.
A few seconds later, the both of them burst into laughter, unable to keep up their act any longer.
“Study hard, kid.” Youngwoon’s voice had returned to its normal tone. “You have a scholarship to keep after all.”
“I know, I know.” Donghae nodded automatically, though an appreciative grin had formed on his thin lips. Youngwoon wasn’t really the type who liked to express his affection openly; all the more that Donghae relished his parting words, in spite of the even tone they were delivered in.
Stealing a glance at his wristwatch, Donghae tugged on the straps of his backpack and gave his slung over uniform cover one last pat, ensuring that it was properly secured.
He was glad that there were still strong illuminations from the street lamps, lining the streets like orderly, uniform guides. Although he walked to the club from the subway station every evening, he wasn’t used to the opposite at night, having been chauffeured back home in Han Geng’s car.
Donghae stopped in the middle of the street, peering uncertainly at the clubs placed at both ends. It’s funny how he could remember the private car park like the back of his hand, yet he could barely paint even a vague picture of the club’s surroundings. Donghae made a mental note to study his surroundings more carefully in the future; the matter was associated with his line of study, after all.
“Donghae, wait!”
Stopping abruptly in his tracks, Donghae spun around to find a familiar, slight figure approaching him. Donghae continued to remain in his position even after the person had caught up with him, stooping on his knees and panting irregularly.
“Hyukjae?”
Once he had caught his breath, Hyukjae straightened his back and aimed an apologetic smile in Donghae’s direction.
“Heading to the subway station too?” Hyukjae asked hopefully.
“You’ve just ended work too?” Donghae countered Hyukjae’s question with his own. “Hyukjae, you could have asked me before shift had started to wait for you at the locker room.”
Even though Donghae knew about Hyukjae’s similarly modified schedule, he wasn’t aware of its exact details. Though, Donghae noted, it might have slipped my mind after our weird encounter back in the locker room. Asking even an innocuous question about Hyukjae’s working hours may have resulted in a less than satisfying response, given Hyukjae’s guardedness.
It seemed as if Hyukjae had also remembered the incident; he looked away briefly, averting his eyes from Donghae’s inquisitive gaze.
“Well, that’s that!” Donghae attempted to change the topic, deciding to dispel the once again awkward air between them. “But next time, don’t expect me to wait for you, alright?”
Hyukjae’s timid smile faltered, having taken Donghae’s jest seriously.
Donghae nudged Hyukjae in the ribs, before breaking into a cheeky grin.
“I’m kidding, Hyukjae!” Donghae chuckled, slinging an arm around Hyukjae’s tense shoulders. “Come on, let’s go!”
Giving the shoulders a little squeeze to coax a reaction from their owner, Donghae leaned closer towards Hyukjae before directing the both of them forward. Standing in the street wasn’t the smartest thing to do, especially if the street was part of a bustling party circuit where cars and motorcycles rolled in every other minute.
Hyukjae passively allowed Donghae to lead him towards the subway station, his eyes concentrating on his moving feet. Stealing a glance at the withdrawn man to his right, Donghae sighed inwardly.
He had lost count the number of times silence had befallen upon the two of them; he wondered what it was that caused awkwardness between them.
Hyukjae probably doesn’t feel comfortable enough around me, Donghae surmised with more than a touch of sadness. That’s why he always clams up whenever it’s just the two of us.
But what exactly is it I do that puts Hyukjae at unease?
I wonder.
***
They sat in silence on the hard metal bench, both pairs of eyes distractedly studying their reflected images on the subway station doors.
If the awkwardness wasn’t palpable upon first glance, it was made even more obvious through the blurry image before them.
Even though mere centimetres separated the pair, their knees were bent away from each other, and their hands were awkwardly clasped in their laps. Hyukjae had started playing with the ends of his shirt sleeve yet again, picking and fumbling with the fabric. As for Donghae, he had taken to studying the compressed subway map placed above the station doors. The multiple coloured lines and symbols dotted all over had long been burned into Donghae’s memory, having studied it intensely after emigrating from his rural hometown.
Following Donghae’s line of vision, Hyukjae’s eyes widened in interest over the subway map.
“So Donghae, from Itaewon station, how are you going to get back home to Hongdae?” Hyukjae turned to Donghae, leaning forward as he relaxed his shoulders, relieving himself of the knitted tension in his muscles.
“I’ll have to take line 6 to Hapjeong station, the eighth stop from here, and then, change to line no. 2 to the next stop from there, Hongik University station, where Hongdae district is,” Donghae rattled away, his eyes narrowed slightly in recollection. “It’s a very smooth journey, requiring just one transfer, and I’m thankful for that.”
Studying Donghae’s focused expression, the corners of Hyukjae’s lips slowly upturned to form a small smile. “For you to recite your planned journey so easily, it seems like you’re quite familiar with the map, Donghae.”
“H-huh?” Donghae’s lips parted as a confused stutter passed through them. “It’s really nothing...”
“It’s a compliment, you know.”
Hyukjae’s smile grew wider as he watched Donghae drop his gaze to the floor, unable to respond to his kind words.
“Does the map interest you that much, Donghae?” Hyukjae prompted gently.
“It’s-it’s not something that I would openly broadcast to the rest of the world,” Donghae finally spoke up. Upon seeing Hyukjae’s furrowed brows, he hastily added, “My fascination with the subway transportation system, that is.”
Unfurling his crossed arms, Hyukjae shot Donghae yet another confused look before saying, “I don’t see why you have to be embarrassed over this, Donghae.”
“Because it’s childish,” Donghae blurted out immediately. “B-but I just can’t help it. The interlinking stations, the transfers in between lines, the layout of the tracks and how the planners coordinate the infrastructure network of the subway... I just... I really find the whole system interesting. And I’m somehow able to compact the extensive rail map in my head and retrieve it whenever I need it...it comes without much trouble to me.”
“But what kind of grown man studies the Seoul metropolitan subway system in great detail? People expect matters more complex from grown-ups after all.”
“Personally, I regard that as a very complex task, Donghae,” Hyukjae said earnestly. “Compressing every single line, every single transfer station into your memory... Not everyone can do that, so please don’t discount your ability.”
Donghae slowly raised his head, his eyes still downcast as he attempted to hide the light blush spreading across his cheeks. The tone that Hyukjae was currently using seemed all too familiar; it was of...
Of condescension.
“You’re only being nice to me. E-everyone does that to me.” Donghae’s voice was weak, as he busied himself by playing with his fingernails, suppressing his emotions as unwelcomed past memories came flooding into his consciousness yet again.
“Am I like everyone else to you, Donghae?” Hyukjae countered immediately; the tone of his voice kept flat.
“No, you’re not.”
Donghae looked up with a start, his own oblique confession surprising himself more than Hyukjae, who merely regarded Donghae with a questioning tilt of his head.
“Donghae...” Hyukjae started quietly. “I’m not making fun of you for your interest in the train system; you know that.”
“I know...” Donghae echoed. “I-I’m sorry, Hyukjae.”
The meek apology brought a soft smile to Hyukjae’s lips. Shifting closer to Donghae wordlessly, Hyukjae’s actions caused Donghae to shoot a hurried glance at their thighs when they had come into contact, with Hyukjae’s left knee nudging Donghae’s right one gently, almost affectionately.
“So tell me, Donghae,” Hyukjae’s smile grew wider, prompting Donghae to respond with a tentative smile of his own. “I’m stopping at Dongguk University station. How do you think I get to there from here?”
Instantly, Donghae’s eyes lit up at the mention of his recently disclosed interest. He looked Hyukjae straight in the eye, and the latter couldn’t hold back his grin at the obvious glint in the other’s widened eyes, at the almost childlike vigour pooling in those moist brown pupils.
-
“You know...” Donghae spoke up. “I’ve never actually told anyone about this. I was too scared that people would laugh at my real reason for wanting to study urban engineering...”
“I’m glad you told me, Donghae,” Hyukjae interjected kindly. “In fact, I’m actually honoured that I’m the first to know.”
“I’ll share something of mine the next time, then. To make it fair.”
Donghae parted his lips in response, but a loud, smooth broadcast effectively silenced him; it was the reminder that the first of the last five trains of the day’s operation was about to turn into their station. The both of them stood up in mild panic, before shooting each other similarly bemused looks. They had been too engrossed in their conversation that they had completely lost track of time; how long had they been sitting on the bench, the both of them wondered.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Donghae!” Hyukjae waved, already in mid-step of heading towards the train line in the opposite direction of the one Donghae was going on travel on.
“Oh! Bye, Hyukjae, and see you tomorrow too!” Donghae’s hand shot up immediately and he waved back, continuing until Hyukjae’s previously whizzing train had come to a complete stop before the other.
Retracting his hand, Donghae then began to shift impatiently on his heels. The contents of the recently concluded conversation were swimming in his head, and he blinked in comprehension when the last voiced words were playing.
“I’ll share something of mine the next time, then. To make it fair.”
Was it really what Donghae thought it was? Even if his own self-disclosure was unexpected, he certainly didn’t do so just to convince Hyukjae of mimicking his actions; that would be utterly selfish of him!
But the aspect of their whole conversation that intrigued Donghae the most was how Hyukjae had managed to get him to divulge one of his own secrets. Usually, it was the other way round, with Donghae lightly coaxing the other party in sharing personal information that other latter had always longed to reveal, but just didn’t possess enough courage to. Donghae welcomed this first, and with Hyukjae behind it, he welcomed it all the more eagerly.
Hyukjae...I’ll be waiting.
-
A/N: I-I'm so so sorry. ;A; I bet everyone has forgotten about this since the last update was like nearly two months ago. .______. So I don't really blame anyone for forgetting this fic. If you weren't turned off by the late updating status, you would have probably been turned off by the slow development in the fic. *bricks self* That said, I've actually been on a somewhat hiatus, so I suppose I'll give myself a break? :/
Also, I've decided to split this chapter into two, chapter 5 being the one where Jongwoon finally appears and well, the plot noticably picks up. I know, I know, I'm biased. ;~~~~~~;
Comments are appreciated! (:
Pairing(s): Donghae-centric. Donghae/Eunhyuk; side!Han Geng/Heechul and Yesung/Sungmin
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Romance, Friendship, a fair bit of Angst
Disclaimer: Contrary to popular belief, no one owns them.
Warning: Mild language and mature themes.
Summary: Donghae knows that ‘getting smitten with a fair-skinned host and bumbling through many attempts of courting said host’ was definitely not part of his job scope as a valet, but he won’t relent in his pursuit; even if it meant going through abject mortification and more.
Previous Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3
There was a stumbling block that Donghae encountered upon completing his first month at the establishment; it had been awaiting his attention ever since the start of his vocation, somehow managing to escape Donghae’s consideration for so long.
As he had joined Guilty Pleasures near the start of the new school semester, his scholarly schedule was lax enough to allow him the nocturnal working hours determined by his post, with his social responsibilities and weekly hour-long phone calls to his family back in Mokpo settled on weekends.
However, his assignments were starting to impose on him, with their looming deadlines scaring even a carefree spirit like Donghae enough to force him into spending sleepless nights at his study desk, frowning over his laptop; his grimacing expression illuminated by the dim blue light emanating from the charged device. Donghae wasn’t used to the suddenly tight schedule, and his weariness transcended to his behaviour and interactions around people; his usually jovial disposition was reduced to a dull, passive temperament and his replies cut down harshly into blunt, unintentionally terse responses.
Donghae’s sudden sullenness hadn’t gone unnoticed by the staff at Guilty Pleasures; they were all too fully aware of his recent shift in behaviour but hadn’t asked about it, worrying that Donghae would read too much into their innocuous questions and respond to them negatively, finding their concern displaced and unneeded.
Finally, Heechul decided to break the duct and summoned Donghae into his office, right before the club was opened to clients. Donghae stalked passively into Heechul’s office, before plonking his body onto the office chair placed in front of Heechul’s desk. Having awaited Donghae’s arrival, Heechul perched himself at the edge of his desk, tilting his head as he surreptitiously did a full-body inspection of Donghae.
Donghae’s modestly designed black mask had shielded his eyes from Heechul’s own prying ones, but the latter could still detect the weariness radiating from the half-open lids; clearly, it was a trying task to even keep them open completely. His posture was respectful as usual, his back straightened and his head upright and rapt with attention, though his body was alist, relying on the left arm of the office chair for support. His work clothes were still neatly pressed and presentable, though there were noticeably more creases and crinkles that Heechul’s discerning eyes frowned at.
“Donghae,” Heechul spoke up, after finishing his inspection of Donghae. “How are you doing?”
“I’m fine, Heechul-hyung. Thank you for asking,” came Donghae’s immediate, monotonous reply, almost as if he had been expecting that very question from Heechul.
Heechul didn’t bother to hide his grunt of disbelief and he slowly unfurled his crossed arms, leaning forward closer to Donghae, surveying the younger man with a frown. In response, Donghae turned away quickly; he was deeply unsettled by Heechul’s hard gaze.
“If you hadn’t noticed, I don’t take to bullshitting well, so answer me properly, Donghae,” Heechul stated plainly, his tone coming out harsher than he had actually intended it to be. “What’s been eating at you recently?”
Donghae slowly turned back to face Heechul, his cheeks glazed with a reddish hue brought about by Heechul’s blunt statement. He bowed his head in embarrassment, uncomfortable with what he was about to reveal.
“I-I just can’t handle my schedule anymore, Heechul-hyung,” Donghae admitted meekly, as he stared at his clasped hands. “What with assignments and work and everything...I find it really hard to get up in the morning at times.”
Exhaling a long, drawn out sigh, Heechul’s lips curled into a small smile. He reached out and patted Donghae’s shoulder gently, chuckling when the latter gave a little start at his action.
“You should have told me earlier, Donghae,” Heechul said, before sliding off his desk and heading to a drawer at its side. Pulling out a heavy-looking binder file, Heechul tossed it onto the desk before sifting through the well-maintained sheets of paper, stopping at a certain page.
“So you need to cut down on your working hours, right?” Heechul said absently, his eyes concentrating on the sheet of paper, with a pen poised in between his fingers. Heechul looked up when his question still hadn’t elicited a response from Donghae.
“Y-yes...” Donghae stammered, shrinking into his seat as he watched Heechul scribble and cross out a couple of lines on the paper. “Just for a few weeks or so...”
“You shouldn’t feel guilty, Donghae,” Heechul’s voice punctured the pauses in between the scratching made by his pen. “We’re not unreasonable people. Besides, Hyukjae’s working schedule is modified, just like yours. Any form of accommodation is okay, as long as it’s fair.”
The mere mention of Hyukjae’s name caused Donghae to instinctively raise his head. “Hyukjae too?”
Heechul shot Donghae a wry smile. “Well, you do know that he’s in the same year of study as you, right? Hyukjae had asked for an accommodation in his working hours just like you, and I had to force it out of him as well. You youngsters are too timid for your own good, honestly.”
Donghae didn’t have to feel guilty about his special arrangement after all; Hyukjae was in a similar predicament. He knew that he and Hyukjae were the youngest workers in the establishment, having learned about the less intrusive personal information, such as hobbies and ages, about his fellow co-workers, especially the special quintet that Donghae nursed a soft spot for.
Among other things, he learned that Youngwoon especially liked draft beer (not that it wasn’t already noticeable), Heechul was pushing thirty-one years of age (that particular piece of information he had gotten from Han Geng; Donghae was too afraid to broach the sensitive topic of age with a person like Heechul), Han Geng enjoyed reading classic Chinese literature during breaks (which explained the slightly yellowed, dog-eared books lying around the elder’s workspace), Sungmin loved taking care of the stray cats straggling around aimlessly in the alley next to building the club was housed in (Donghae had nearly thought the figure sneaking around shiftily in the alley was a malevolent phantom), and as for Hyukjae...
Well, Hyukjae was something of an enigma. Other than learning of Hyukjae’s twitchiness whenever his personal cleanliness was called into question and his habit of sneaking his homework during work, Donghae only had vague assumptions of Hyukjae’s character based on his observations of the other’s behaviour. As of now, Hyukjae was deemed by Donghae to be highly attentive of his appearance, judging from his constant adjusting of his work clothes, and was withdrawn around strangers, seeing as he was notably meek when conversing with clients as compared to his normal, relaxed behaviour with his colleagues.
Yet, the biggest mystery regarding Hyukjae was raised when Donghae happened to emerge from the washroom only to walk in on Hyukjae’s conversation with Sungmin.
Just as he exited the washroom, Donghae could hear and recognise the pair’s voices. While their voices seemed casual at first, upon closer inspection, they were in hushed, whispered tones, as if the pair did not want the other occupants of the locker room to eavesdrop on their discussion.
“-I’ve calculated the estimated figure and I’m not sure if my salary will be enough to support this month’s payment,” Hyukjae muttered; a quiet, almost desperate sense of urgency seeping from his tone. “The bill’s been climbing recently and I don’t want to pester Heechul-hyung with an advance pay, especially seeing how my workload’s cut down this whole month-“
“Heechul-hyung knows and understands your predicament, Hyukkie,” Sungmin interjected softly. “I’m sure he’ll understand. You just need to sit down and talk to him-“
“But that’s just as good as me taking advantage of the club’s kindness!” Hyukjae retorted, his breathing becoming shallower due to his increased frustration. “And I don’t like that feeling. I’ve already intruded on the club’s kindness after Joo-nim and Heechul practically came up with this post just for me-“
So the position of receptionist host was included only after Hyukjae had applied for a job here? Donghae was definitely intrigued; did it mean that Hyukjae had actually been turned away from the establishment? How it turn out that a new post was made solely for Hyukjae? Was it because of his circumstances; said circumstances enshrouded in a cloak of mystery...
“Donghae? Donghae!”
“Huh?” Donghae replied intelligibly.
From the corner of the row of lockers Donghae had been hiding behind, Sungmin and Hyukjae were both eyeing him guardedly; their tense postures giving away their hostility.
Sensing the heavy atmosphere in the air, Donghae attempted to downplay his position by bringing his hand up to scratch his head nervously and letting slip a self-conscious giggle.
“Am I interrupting anything?” He asked innocuously, widening his brown eyes as an extra precaution. The pair’s body language was practically screaming high-alert, like they were going to pounce on Donghae any moment now. “I really didn’t mean to intrude on your conversation, I swear.”
“No, you weren’t,” Sungmin replied smoothly, just as Hyukjae was about to open his mouth. “Have you just recently arrived for work, Donghae? I didn’t see you in here five minutes ago.”
Sungmin decided that erasing the earlier situation by pretending it hadn’t occurred was best; he uncrossed his previously folded arms and shot Donghae a small, albeit noticeably strained smile. Likewise, Hyukjae followed Sungmin’s lead and relaxed his defensive stance.
Donghae was thankful for Sungmin’s handy evasive technique; he wasn’t sure if his false pretence of feigning ignorance could continue to prove convincing.
-
It seems like everyone in this club has secrets, Donghae thought pensively as he leaned against his valet stand. Everyone else knew something personal about the other, and Donghae was left out of the loop, due to his position as the relative newcomer in the club.
Donghae wasn’t in any position to try and wrest additional personal information from any of his co-workers; the risks of slighting them were too high and he wasn’t willing to jeopardise his burgeoning rapport with them just to appease his abnormally insatiable curiosity.
It didn’t stop Donghae’s mind from pondering the possibilities, though; all the what-ifs and maybes regarding their backgrounds. Donghae wasn’t nosy in any way, he was merely curious.
That said, these sorts of things were of a reciprocal matter, meaning that if Donghae had wanted to be accepted into his co-workers’ field of trust, he would have to do some disclosing on his own account. Yet, Donghae was just too scared of the possible repercussions; his sincere attempts of reaching out brushed away with an indifferent response, or even worse, they would turn their backs on him, rejecting him. The welcoming party had assuaged Donghae’s fears, but only temporarily.
The masks that the employees were required to wear were only a form of physical protection; there was a secondary, metaphorical mask that they each wore, a facade to hide their true feelings and suffering.
On Donghae’s part, he admitted that it was truly naive of him to have had believed that the ornamental mask, serving as physical protection, was enough. In comparison to the hardened facades that the others had built up around them, the mask was but a mere flimsy, gilded defence.
-
At the end of his shortened shift, Donghae headed over to the bar counter, with every intention of apologising to Han Geng for the sudden change in their departure schedule. Seeing as Donghae needed to leave the club by 11pm, he could no longer commute with Han Geng and Heechul in the bartender’s car.
“Hankyung-hyung!” Donghae called out to get the elder’s attention in advance; the latter was bent over a book, his finger tracing the page silently.
Upon hearing his name, Han Geng shifted his attention from the book to the direction of the voice which had called him, and he smiled warmly when his eyes met Donghae’s.
“Water?” Han Geng questioned, marking a page in his book with a slight fold at the topmost edge.
Donghae stalled for a moment, but he shook his head, deciding that quenching his thirst was not of utmost importance as compared to informing Han Geng of his temporarily shortened working hours.
“I can’t go home with you and Heechul-hyung for the next few weeks,” Donghae started, nervously surveying the other’s expression. “I have important assignments due in the coming weeks and there’s also a day where I can’t come for work because there’s a test I have to study for, so I have to leave work earlier for a few weeks. And because of that, I can’t go home with the two of you and-and I’m sorry.“
“I understand,” Han Geng said simply, his gentle smile amplifying his relaxed tone. “There is no need to apologise, Donghae. I understand the added pressures you face outside this club; not only are you a part-timer, you are also a full-time student, meaning that there are surely other things that require your attention.”
Donghae blinked mutely, wondering if Han Geng had actually already gotten his intentions behind apologising.
“So you’re not mad...?” Donghae asked tentatively. He had already troubled the older man by forcing him to accommodate him into his schedule. It may seem like a trivial thing to others, but to someone like Donghae, who disliked imposing himself onto others in any way, it was akin to him selfishly manipulating them.
Han Geng shook his head lightly, his bemused expression telling Donghae that he was surprised that Donghae had even considered the thought of him getting even the slightest bit angry over the matter.
“I am not,” Han Geng replied. “And neither is Heechul, in case you are wondering. He had actually informed me of your state of affairs, but I was waiting for your own explanation. Like what I have said earlier, I understand. Of course, I will miss your company but I am in no place to complain, aren’t I?”
Donghae’s cheeks instantly coloured over Han Geng’s friendly comment. Even if the elder had meant it in a joking way, Donghae still cherished its affectionate allusion.
“It’ll only be for a while! Besides, you still have Heechul-hyung!” Donghae shot back teasingly, remembering the other person in their arrangement.
“You mean that I have Heechul’s loud snoring accompanying me throughout the journey home,” Han Geng deadpanned, referring to said person’s habit of shutting his eyes as soon as they had driven out of the Itaewon district.
“Not that you’re any better though, Donghae. Your snores sometime join Heechul’s to make such a pleasant harmony.”
“Hey!” Donghae exclaimed, jutting out his lower lip to form a defeated pout. “I thought you said that you would miss my company?”
Han Geng’s eyes twinkled mischievously, as he chuckled over Donghae’s indignant reaction. Twisting his body, he reached out and ruffled Donghae’s hair, his hand patting the latter’s head playfully. Donghae’s hands shot up in retaliation, crying out in jest over Han Geng’s treatment of his slightly gelled hair.
-
“So you’re really leaving me alone, huh? How could you, Donghae?” The voice enquired, making Donghae roll his eyes at the overdramatic whine it ended with.
Donghae turned on his heels and shot Youngwoon a sceptical stare, to which Youngwoon responded with few quick wiggles of his eyebrows and a coy tilt of his head.
A few seconds later, the both of them burst into laughter, unable to keep up their act any longer.
“Study hard, kid.” Youngwoon’s voice had returned to its normal tone. “You have a scholarship to keep after all.”
“I know, I know.” Donghae nodded automatically, though an appreciative grin had formed on his thin lips. Youngwoon wasn’t really the type who liked to express his affection openly; all the more that Donghae relished his parting words, in spite of the even tone they were delivered in.
Stealing a glance at his wristwatch, Donghae tugged on the straps of his backpack and gave his slung over uniform cover one last pat, ensuring that it was properly secured.
He was glad that there were still strong illuminations from the street lamps, lining the streets like orderly, uniform guides. Although he walked to the club from the subway station every evening, he wasn’t used to the opposite at night, having been chauffeured back home in Han Geng’s car.
Donghae stopped in the middle of the street, peering uncertainly at the clubs placed at both ends. It’s funny how he could remember the private car park like the back of his hand, yet he could barely paint even a vague picture of the club’s surroundings. Donghae made a mental note to study his surroundings more carefully in the future; the matter was associated with his line of study, after all.
“Donghae, wait!”
Stopping abruptly in his tracks, Donghae spun around to find a familiar, slight figure approaching him. Donghae continued to remain in his position even after the person had caught up with him, stooping on his knees and panting irregularly.
“Hyukjae?”
Once he had caught his breath, Hyukjae straightened his back and aimed an apologetic smile in Donghae’s direction.
“Heading to the subway station too?” Hyukjae asked hopefully.
“You’ve just ended work too?” Donghae countered Hyukjae’s question with his own. “Hyukjae, you could have asked me before shift had started to wait for you at the locker room.”
Even though Donghae knew about Hyukjae’s similarly modified schedule, he wasn’t aware of its exact details. Though, Donghae noted, it might have slipped my mind after our weird encounter back in the locker room. Asking even an innocuous question about Hyukjae’s working hours may have resulted in a less than satisfying response, given Hyukjae’s guardedness.
It seemed as if Hyukjae had also remembered the incident; he looked away briefly, averting his eyes from Donghae’s inquisitive gaze.
“Well, that’s that!” Donghae attempted to change the topic, deciding to dispel the once again awkward air between them. “But next time, don’t expect me to wait for you, alright?”
Hyukjae’s timid smile faltered, having taken Donghae’s jest seriously.
Donghae nudged Hyukjae in the ribs, before breaking into a cheeky grin.
“I’m kidding, Hyukjae!” Donghae chuckled, slinging an arm around Hyukjae’s tense shoulders. “Come on, let’s go!”
Giving the shoulders a little squeeze to coax a reaction from their owner, Donghae leaned closer towards Hyukjae before directing the both of them forward. Standing in the street wasn’t the smartest thing to do, especially if the street was part of a bustling party circuit where cars and motorcycles rolled in every other minute.
Hyukjae passively allowed Donghae to lead him towards the subway station, his eyes concentrating on his moving feet. Stealing a glance at the withdrawn man to his right, Donghae sighed inwardly.
He had lost count the number of times silence had befallen upon the two of them; he wondered what it was that caused awkwardness between them.
Hyukjae probably doesn’t feel comfortable enough around me, Donghae surmised with more than a touch of sadness. That’s why he always clams up whenever it’s just the two of us.
But what exactly is it I do that puts Hyukjae at unease?
I wonder.
***
They sat in silence on the hard metal bench, both pairs of eyes distractedly studying their reflected images on the subway station doors.
If the awkwardness wasn’t palpable upon first glance, it was made even more obvious through the blurry image before them.
Even though mere centimetres separated the pair, their knees were bent away from each other, and their hands were awkwardly clasped in their laps. Hyukjae had started playing with the ends of his shirt sleeve yet again, picking and fumbling with the fabric. As for Donghae, he had taken to studying the compressed subway map placed above the station doors. The multiple coloured lines and symbols dotted all over had long been burned into Donghae’s memory, having studied it intensely after emigrating from his rural hometown.
Following Donghae’s line of vision, Hyukjae’s eyes widened in interest over the subway map.
“So Donghae, from Itaewon station, how are you going to get back home to Hongdae?” Hyukjae turned to Donghae, leaning forward as he relaxed his shoulders, relieving himself of the knitted tension in his muscles.
“I’ll have to take line 6 to Hapjeong station, the eighth stop from here, and then, change to line no. 2 to the next stop from there, Hongik University station, where Hongdae district is,” Donghae rattled away, his eyes narrowed slightly in recollection. “It’s a very smooth journey, requiring just one transfer, and I’m thankful for that.”
Studying Donghae’s focused expression, the corners of Hyukjae’s lips slowly upturned to form a small smile. “For you to recite your planned journey so easily, it seems like you’re quite familiar with the map, Donghae.”
“H-huh?” Donghae’s lips parted as a confused stutter passed through them. “It’s really nothing...”
“It’s a compliment, you know.”
Hyukjae’s smile grew wider as he watched Donghae drop his gaze to the floor, unable to respond to his kind words.
“Does the map interest you that much, Donghae?” Hyukjae prompted gently.
“It’s-it’s not something that I would openly broadcast to the rest of the world,” Donghae finally spoke up. Upon seeing Hyukjae’s furrowed brows, he hastily added, “My fascination with the subway transportation system, that is.”
Unfurling his crossed arms, Hyukjae shot Donghae yet another confused look before saying, “I don’t see why you have to be embarrassed over this, Donghae.”
“Because it’s childish,” Donghae blurted out immediately. “B-but I just can’t help it. The interlinking stations, the transfers in between lines, the layout of the tracks and how the planners coordinate the infrastructure network of the subway... I just... I really find the whole system interesting. And I’m somehow able to compact the extensive rail map in my head and retrieve it whenever I need it...it comes without much trouble to me.”
“But what kind of grown man studies the Seoul metropolitan subway system in great detail? People expect matters more complex from grown-ups after all.”
“Personally, I regard that as a very complex task, Donghae,” Hyukjae said earnestly. “Compressing every single line, every single transfer station into your memory... Not everyone can do that, so please don’t discount your ability.”
Donghae slowly raised his head, his eyes still downcast as he attempted to hide the light blush spreading across his cheeks. The tone that Hyukjae was currently using seemed all too familiar; it was of...
Of condescension.
“You’re only being nice to me. E-everyone does that to me.” Donghae’s voice was weak, as he busied himself by playing with his fingernails, suppressing his emotions as unwelcomed past memories came flooding into his consciousness yet again.
“Am I like everyone else to you, Donghae?” Hyukjae countered immediately; the tone of his voice kept flat.
“No, you’re not.”
Donghae looked up with a start, his own oblique confession surprising himself more than Hyukjae, who merely regarded Donghae with a questioning tilt of his head.
“Donghae...” Hyukjae started quietly. “I’m not making fun of you for your interest in the train system; you know that.”
“I know...” Donghae echoed. “I-I’m sorry, Hyukjae.”
The meek apology brought a soft smile to Hyukjae’s lips. Shifting closer to Donghae wordlessly, Hyukjae’s actions caused Donghae to shoot a hurried glance at their thighs when they had come into contact, with Hyukjae’s left knee nudging Donghae’s right one gently, almost affectionately.
“So tell me, Donghae,” Hyukjae’s smile grew wider, prompting Donghae to respond with a tentative smile of his own. “I’m stopping at Dongguk University station. How do you think I get to there from here?”
Instantly, Donghae’s eyes lit up at the mention of his recently disclosed interest. He looked Hyukjae straight in the eye, and the latter couldn’t hold back his grin at the obvious glint in the other’s widened eyes, at the almost childlike vigour pooling in those moist brown pupils.
-
“You know...” Donghae spoke up. “I’ve never actually told anyone about this. I was too scared that people would laugh at my real reason for wanting to study urban engineering...”
“I’m glad you told me, Donghae,” Hyukjae interjected kindly. “In fact, I’m actually honoured that I’m the first to know.”
“I’ll share something of mine the next time, then. To make it fair.”
Donghae parted his lips in response, but a loud, smooth broadcast effectively silenced him; it was the reminder that the first of the last five trains of the day’s operation was about to turn into their station. The both of them stood up in mild panic, before shooting each other similarly bemused looks. They had been too engrossed in their conversation that they had completely lost track of time; how long had they been sitting on the bench, the both of them wondered.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Donghae!” Hyukjae waved, already in mid-step of heading towards the train line in the opposite direction of the one Donghae was going on travel on.
“Oh! Bye, Hyukjae, and see you tomorrow too!” Donghae’s hand shot up immediately and he waved back, continuing until Hyukjae’s previously whizzing train had come to a complete stop before the other.
Retracting his hand, Donghae then began to shift impatiently on his heels. The contents of the recently concluded conversation were swimming in his head, and he blinked in comprehension when the last voiced words were playing.
“I’ll share something of mine the next time, then. To make it fair.”
Was it really what Donghae thought it was? Even if his own self-disclosure was unexpected, he certainly didn’t do so just to convince Hyukjae of mimicking his actions; that would be utterly selfish of him!
But the aspect of their whole conversation that intrigued Donghae the most was how Hyukjae had managed to get him to divulge one of his own secrets. Usually, it was the other way round, with Donghae lightly coaxing the other party in sharing personal information that other latter had always longed to reveal, but just didn’t possess enough courage to. Donghae welcomed this first, and with Hyukjae behind it, he welcomed it all the more eagerly.
Hyukjae...I’ll be waiting.
-
A/N: I-I'm so so sorry. ;A; I bet everyone has forgotten about this since the last update was like nearly two months ago. .______. So I don't really blame anyone for forgetting this fic. If you weren't turned off by the late updating status, you would have probably been turned off by the slow development in the fic. *bricks self* That said, I've actually been on a somewhat hiatus, so I suppose I'll give myself a break? :/
Also, I've decided to split this chapter into two, chapter 5 being the one where Jongwoon finally appears and well, the plot noticably picks up. I know, I know, I'm biased. ;~~~~~~;
Comments are appreciated! (: