[Fic] You are welcome to stay (in this silence)
Title : [Fic] You are welcome to stay (In this silence) - Part 6
Pairing : Ohno/Nino (past Okada/Nino)
Rating : R
Summary : For years, he thought he could live with just loving him from afar. But his friend’s death didn’t only turn their lives around, it was bound to change his life forever.
Word count : around 1700 words
Note : Okay, another part, just because. Are y'all staying safe? Still holding on? Still sad? That's okay, we'll get this through together. /Group hugs
He woke to the feel of Ohno’s fingers stroking his cheek.
Ohno’s touch was warm and inviting that he was leaning into it before he even realized it, hummed sleepily as he scooted closer, folding himself around Ohno and shamelessly stealing Ohno’s body heat in the process. There was that unmistakable touch of lips to his temple, drifting to his closed eyelids afterward as was the feel of Ohno’s arm around his back to pull him closer.
“Hmmm, is it morning already?” he murmured, too sleepy and comfortable to check it himself.
Ohno’s arm tightened around him in answer. “Not really,”
Nino hummed and rubbed his nose against Ohno’s warm skin. “I guessed as much. It feels like I haven’t slept long. Why are you awake? Let’s go back to sleep, Oh-chan.”
A pause, a breath, then, “I can’t. And I’m so sorry to wake you, Kazu, but I have to...I have to go. I got a call just now, and I have to go check it out, but I didn’t want to leave without telling you.” he heard Ohno say a moment later, startling him and prompting him to open his eyes to look at Ohno. The darkness of the room did nothing to hide the line of wariness marring the edges of Ohno’s mouth, nor it was enough to hide the glaring anxiety radiating off of him.
“Can’t it wait until tomorrow morning? I mean -”
Ohno’s thumb drifted across his bottom lip for a quick touch, thus effective cutting him off.
“Sorry, it’s...It’s urgent.”
The tremble on Ohno’s voice woke Nino completely, any trace of sleep gone in an instant as he shifted on the bed in a sitting position, hands finding Ohno’s face in the relative darkness.
“Should I leave?” he asked, hoping he didn’t have to.
“God, no,” Ohno answered, and somehow, he was sitting up too, and pulling Nino to him, one hand settling against the nape of Nino’s neck and kissing him. Nino shrieked in surprise, parted his mouth to kiss back but Ohno’s mouth was gone before he even could.
Fingertip caressed the corner of Nino’s mouth as if in quiet apology.
“Okay, but why do I feel like something weird has happened while I was asleep?” he asked, scooting closer and worming his arms around Ohno’s middle before leaning over to nuzzle Ohno’s throat, breathing Ohno in.
“No, it’s -” Ohno said, then paused halfway to shake his head. “But you know how it is with work, right? This is exactly why I keep on saying this is a bad idea, but you -”
“Still insisted you take this chance with me, yes, I know. I’m stubborn like that, but I’m guessing you know that already. Also, you don’t get to decide what’s good or what’s bad, okay? Not anymore. I want this as much as you do, alright, so you just accept it,” he breathed, keeping Ohno close, tugging him closer still. “I’m not going anywhere, Oh-chan.”
Another pause, a moment of quiet stillness before Ohno was speaking again, this time against his temple, hand gentle on his face.
“You’re everything to me, Kazu,” Ohno whispered. “Remember that, okay? And no matter what happens, please know that I only want you to be happy.” he added, but Nino heard the unspoken sentiment without Ohno saying it.
Even if it’s not with me.
Ohno’s lips on his brow, gentle, barely-there touch of it that left Nino feeling lost, uncertain, hoping he was wrong. He opted not to say anything despite the ache throbbing away in his chest at the thought, holding onto Ohno instead for as long as the other man would allow him.
--
Ohno had no trouble foregoing sleep if he had to - he was more or less accustomed to staying awake for days on end while working on a job - but this...this was obviously something else, something he was certain he would have been glad to be assigned to in other times, but it was difficult to feel the same now that things were - different.
The path leading to the spot he was told to go was dark and muddy, and he had to make sure no one was around to see him when he jumped off the fence - the quickest route to take instead of trekking the other side which would require him to get on the bridge and walk the longer path to get here.
Part of him was glad he didn’t need to drive to get here, even though it still took him under half an hour to reach this place on foot. Walking gave him enough time to rearrange his thoughts, enough time to calm himself so he could set his emotions aside for now and deal with the more pressing matters at hand.
The surrounding area was dark and it took his eyes a couple more minutes to adjust to the darkness, but it was nothing compared to some of the places he’d been assigned in the past. Most of the time, the darkness was an ally; he knew how to utilize it to his advantage, hiding in plain sight knowing how to work his way through the shadows without his enemies noticing.
Somehow, he couldn’t help but wish he’d rather be there fighting with the enemies than be here, but he guessed this was fate’s cruel way of saying that happiness he felt not even twenty-four hours earlier wasn’t going to last, and that it was here to ruin everything for him before he could even get used to it.
Still, despite it, it was difficult not to feel glad. Okada was his partner at work for so long, and a friend for even far longer that his death came as a shock to him as well. The only other time Okada had been sent for a solo assignment was also the time he’d come back dead.
Or so they were told.
“You sure took your sweet time, huh? I honestly thought you weren’t going to come.” an achingly familiar voice broke through his mental conflict, prompting him to stop walking as he adjusted his eyes in the dark.
A figure stepped out from the shadows and he was treated with the sight of an equally-familiar smile he thought he wouldn’t ever get to see again in person. He crossed the short distance between them, stopped when they were close enough for him to see the other man clearly, his heart swelled with relief at the sight of him.
“Okada, is it… oh my god , it’s really you.” he breathed in quiet disbelief, then reached over to pull his friend to him for a tight hug.
If Okada was surprised, he did his best not to show it.
“Back from the dead, I suppose,” Okada said, joking as he pulled back, but the irony wasn’t lost on Ohno. He could tell there was more to this than meets the eye, and he was certain that Okada had called on him specifically to explain the reason.
Part of him wondered why it had to be him, but it made sense, somehow. They were partners, friends, and he got why Okada preferred to talk to someone who he thought would understand him best. Another part of him was wondering why Okada didn’t think of calling Nino first, but he also understood why he didn’t.
If the situation was reversed, he was certain he wouldn’t think of calling Nino either.
“Are you going to tell me what happened?” he asked, pulling back just far enough to give Okada a quick once-over. “Jesus, I was there when they brought you in, or at least what was left of your body. We fucking buried you, holy shit. Was that the agency’s doing? If it is, you need to fucking tell me, man.” he hissed.
Okada stepped back. Ohno thought it was wise to stay where he was and wait.
“It was my fault,” Okada started, his voice distinctly hoarse. “The agency did what I asked them to.”
“And what would that be? Fucking helped you fake your death, is that it?” he gritted, unable to keep the sudden flare of anger from showing up on his face, in the tone of his voice. Okada’s admission meant the heartbreak they’ve all gone through had been for nothing, and the incident was done deliberately, and for what?
“Fuck are you saying? We mourned for you, Okada,” he spit out, squeezing his eyes shut and swallowing the urge to curse out loud when he added, “And Nino...you didn’t know what your death did to him. Are you saying you asked the agency to help you fake your own death without even thinking what it would do to the people you will leave behind? What it would fucking do to Nino?”
Okada was quiet for a moment, keeping his head down. Ohno almost didn’t hear him when he said, “I know. And that’s why I’m here. I...I want to see him, talk to him, apologize for what I did. Will you help me?”
--
He didn’t know he’d fallen back asleep on the couch, only realized that he did when he was woken up by fingers stroking his face. He chuckled through the sleepy haze tugging at his consciousness, forcing his eyes to open despite the difficulty.
“Hey, I’m back.”
“I can see that,” he chuckled, leaning up to nuzzle Ohno’s hand, hoping Ohno would take the hint.
He did.
Ohno was moving to settle next to Nino, and it was wonderful, the way they shifted almost at the same time to make space for each other, the perfect way they fit as if he was made specifically for Ohno like this.
Soon, they were snuggled on the couch, and he was feeling way too comfortable lying almost half on top of Ohno that it was ridiculous. “Is it done? That urgent job you have to go to in the middle of the night?”
There was an obvious pause from Ohno, and the way his arms tightened around Nino considerably.
“Actually, no.”
The answer surprised him, somehow. He pulled up and raised his head high enough to look at Ohno.
“Oh. Does that mean you have to leave again in the morning? For how long?” he asked, only because he knew how it worked. Ohno and Junichi worked together, and he was with the latter for long to know what to expect when he decided to pursue Ohno knowing the other man wouldn’t ever make the first move.
“They’ll tell me later. But, I...I’m afraid I’ll be assigned somewhere far.”
Something told Nino something was up and Ohno was lying. His fingers tightened against their grip on Ohno’s shirtfront, his heart ramming hard in his chest.
He shook his head and gave Ohno his undivided attention despite the ache throbbing away in his chest, despite the uncertainty tingling underneath his skin. He’d expected this, somehow, but being faced with it after what they had shared the night before was devastating.
But as it was, he didn’t decide on this just to be pushed away at the first sign of trouble. That wasn’t how he was going down with this and he was sticking to it.
“If this is how you’re doing it to push me away, I’m sorry to tell you that you would have to try harder than that.” he said, leaning in and kissing Ohno hard, swallowing whatever the other man was about to say next.
Pairing : Ohno/Nino (past Okada/Nino)
Rating : R
Summary : For years, he thought he could live with just loving him from afar. But his friend’s death didn’t only turn their lives around, it was bound to change his life forever.
Word count : around 1700 words
Note : Okay, another part, just because. Are y'all staying safe? Still holding on? Still sad? That's okay, we'll get this through together. /Group hugs
He woke to the feel of Ohno’s fingers stroking his cheek.
Ohno’s touch was warm and inviting that he was leaning into it before he even realized it, hummed sleepily as he scooted closer, folding himself around Ohno and shamelessly stealing Ohno’s body heat in the process. There was that unmistakable touch of lips to his temple, drifting to his closed eyelids afterward as was the feel of Ohno’s arm around his back to pull him closer.
“Hmmm, is it morning already?” he murmured, too sleepy and comfortable to check it himself.
Ohno’s arm tightened around him in answer. “Not really,”
Nino hummed and rubbed his nose against Ohno’s warm skin. “I guessed as much. It feels like I haven’t slept long. Why are you awake? Let’s go back to sleep, Oh-chan.”
A pause, a breath, then, “I can’t. And I’m so sorry to wake you, Kazu, but I have to...I have to go. I got a call just now, and I have to go check it out, but I didn’t want to leave without telling you.” he heard Ohno say a moment later, startling him and prompting him to open his eyes to look at Ohno. The darkness of the room did nothing to hide the line of wariness marring the edges of Ohno’s mouth, nor it was enough to hide the glaring anxiety radiating off of him.
“Can’t it wait until tomorrow morning? I mean -”
Ohno’s thumb drifted across his bottom lip for a quick touch, thus effective cutting him off.
“Sorry, it’s...It’s urgent.”
The tremble on Ohno’s voice woke Nino completely, any trace of sleep gone in an instant as he shifted on the bed in a sitting position, hands finding Ohno’s face in the relative darkness.
“Should I leave?” he asked, hoping he didn’t have to.
“God, no,” Ohno answered, and somehow, he was sitting up too, and pulling Nino to him, one hand settling against the nape of Nino’s neck and kissing him. Nino shrieked in surprise, parted his mouth to kiss back but Ohno’s mouth was gone before he even could.
Fingertip caressed the corner of Nino’s mouth as if in quiet apology.
“Okay, but why do I feel like something weird has happened while I was asleep?” he asked, scooting closer and worming his arms around Ohno’s middle before leaning over to nuzzle Ohno’s throat, breathing Ohno in.
“No, it’s -” Ohno said, then paused halfway to shake his head. “But you know how it is with work, right? This is exactly why I keep on saying this is a bad idea, but you -”
“Still insisted you take this chance with me, yes, I know. I’m stubborn like that, but I’m guessing you know that already. Also, you don’t get to decide what’s good or what’s bad, okay? Not anymore. I want this as much as you do, alright, so you just accept it,” he breathed, keeping Ohno close, tugging him closer still. “I’m not going anywhere, Oh-chan.”
Another pause, a moment of quiet stillness before Ohno was speaking again, this time against his temple, hand gentle on his face.
“You’re everything to me, Kazu,” Ohno whispered. “Remember that, okay? And no matter what happens, please know that I only want you to be happy.” he added, but Nino heard the unspoken sentiment without Ohno saying it.
Even if it’s not with me.
Ohno’s lips on his brow, gentle, barely-there touch of it that left Nino feeling lost, uncertain, hoping he was wrong. He opted not to say anything despite the ache throbbing away in his chest at the thought, holding onto Ohno instead for as long as the other man would allow him.
--
Ohno had no trouble foregoing sleep if he had to - he was more or less accustomed to staying awake for days on end while working on a job - but this...this was obviously something else, something he was certain he would have been glad to be assigned to in other times, but it was difficult to feel the same now that things were - different.
The path leading to the spot he was told to go was dark and muddy, and he had to make sure no one was around to see him when he jumped off the fence - the quickest route to take instead of trekking the other side which would require him to get on the bridge and walk the longer path to get here.
Part of him was glad he didn’t need to drive to get here, even though it still took him under half an hour to reach this place on foot. Walking gave him enough time to rearrange his thoughts, enough time to calm himself so he could set his emotions aside for now and deal with the more pressing matters at hand.
The surrounding area was dark and it took his eyes a couple more minutes to adjust to the darkness, but it was nothing compared to some of the places he’d been assigned in the past. Most of the time, the darkness was an ally; he knew how to utilize it to his advantage, hiding in plain sight knowing how to work his way through the shadows without his enemies noticing.
Somehow, he couldn’t help but wish he’d rather be there fighting with the enemies than be here, but he guessed this was fate’s cruel way of saying that happiness he felt not even twenty-four hours earlier wasn’t going to last, and that it was here to ruin everything for him before he could even get used to it.
Still, despite it, it was difficult not to feel glad. Okada was his partner at work for so long, and a friend for even far longer that his death came as a shock to him as well. The only other time Okada had been sent for a solo assignment was also the time he’d come back dead.
Or so they were told.
“You sure took your sweet time, huh? I honestly thought you weren’t going to come.” an achingly familiar voice broke through his mental conflict, prompting him to stop walking as he adjusted his eyes in the dark.
A figure stepped out from the shadows and he was treated with the sight of an equally-familiar smile he thought he wouldn’t ever get to see again in person. He crossed the short distance between them, stopped when they were close enough for him to see the other man clearly, his heart swelled with relief at the sight of him.
“Okada, is it… oh my god , it’s really you.” he breathed in quiet disbelief, then reached over to pull his friend to him for a tight hug.
If Okada was surprised, he did his best not to show it.
“Back from the dead, I suppose,” Okada said, joking as he pulled back, but the irony wasn’t lost on Ohno. He could tell there was more to this than meets the eye, and he was certain that Okada had called on him specifically to explain the reason.
Part of him wondered why it had to be him, but it made sense, somehow. They were partners, friends, and he got why Okada preferred to talk to someone who he thought would understand him best. Another part of him was wondering why Okada didn’t think of calling Nino first, but he also understood why he didn’t.
If the situation was reversed, he was certain he wouldn’t think of calling Nino either.
“Are you going to tell me what happened?” he asked, pulling back just far enough to give Okada a quick once-over. “Jesus, I was there when they brought you in, or at least what was left of your body. We fucking buried you, holy shit. Was that the agency’s doing? If it is, you need to fucking tell me, man.” he hissed.
Okada stepped back. Ohno thought it was wise to stay where he was and wait.
“It was my fault,” Okada started, his voice distinctly hoarse. “The agency did what I asked them to.”
“And what would that be? Fucking helped you fake your death, is that it?” he gritted, unable to keep the sudden flare of anger from showing up on his face, in the tone of his voice. Okada’s admission meant the heartbreak they’ve all gone through had been for nothing, and the incident was done deliberately, and for what?
“Fuck are you saying? We mourned for you, Okada,” he spit out, squeezing his eyes shut and swallowing the urge to curse out loud when he added, “And Nino...you didn’t know what your death did to him. Are you saying you asked the agency to help you fake your own death without even thinking what it would do to the people you will leave behind? What it would fucking do to Nino?”
Okada was quiet for a moment, keeping his head down. Ohno almost didn’t hear him when he said, “I know. And that’s why I’m here. I...I want to see him, talk to him, apologize for what I did. Will you help me?”
--
He didn’t know he’d fallen back asleep on the couch, only realized that he did when he was woken up by fingers stroking his face. He chuckled through the sleepy haze tugging at his consciousness, forcing his eyes to open despite the difficulty.
“Hey, I’m back.”
“I can see that,” he chuckled, leaning up to nuzzle Ohno’s hand, hoping Ohno would take the hint.
He did.
Ohno was moving to settle next to Nino, and it was wonderful, the way they shifted almost at the same time to make space for each other, the perfect way they fit as if he was made specifically for Ohno like this.
Soon, they were snuggled on the couch, and he was feeling way too comfortable lying almost half on top of Ohno that it was ridiculous. “Is it done? That urgent job you have to go to in the middle of the night?”
There was an obvious pause from Ohno, and the way his arms tightened around Nino considerably.
“Actually, no.”
The answer surprised him, somehow. He pulled up and raised his head high enough to look at Ohno.
“Oh. Does that mean you have to leave again in the morning? For how long?” he asked, only because he knew how it worked. Ohno and Junichi worked together, and he was with the latter for long to know what to expect when he decided to pursue Ohno knowing the other man wouldn’t ever make the first move.
“They’ll tell me later. But, I...I’m afraid I’ll be assigned somewhere far.”
Something told Nino something was up and Ohno was lying. His fingers tightened against their grip on Ohno’s shirtfront, his heart ramming hard in his chest.
He shook his head and gave Ohno his undivided attention despite the ache throbbing away in his chest, despite the uncertainty tingling underneath his skin. He’d expected this, somehow, but being faced with it after what they had shared the night before was devastating.
But as it was, he didn’t decide on this just to be pushed away at the first sign of trouble. That wasn’t how he was going down with this and he was sticking to it.
“If this is how you’re doing it to push me away, I’m sorry to tell you that you would have to try harder than that.” he said, leaning in and kissing Ohno hard, swallowing whatever the other man was about to say next.