28 weeks and a whole lotta drama llama

Apr 26, 2009 19:40

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28 weeks, belly photos, drama llama

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thestarsgoblind April 27 2009, 05:22:49 UTC
You definitely look pregnant in that first one!! Woo belly.

That sounds like an awful few days. I hope things start looking up for you. I know the baby complicates so much when it comes to relationships. It took me years to finally get over my ex, and it took a lot of assholery (new word?) on his part to get me there. We still talk but eh.

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ohhhell April 27 2009, 05:30:18 UTC
Yeah it's been spectacularly shitty. It sucks because I really do feel like I'm kind of pushing him away because I freak out and get clingy... but I can't help it. I had no warning. It was... not together... gonna wait 3 months... I HATE HER... bam I love her she's my girl friend. It was a total shock to my system and I haven't been handling it well at all. I'm at that point where I just want to sleep and mope. Hah.

I thought I was over Isaac in the beginning, honestly. I mean we've been apart for almost a year. But as time went on I realized I wasn't over him at all... I was just trying to be and it was making me do things I now regret - like Rand. I think I'll be able to get over him, but I can't right NOW.

I feel like it's unfair for me to expect him to continue doing what he has been doing - supporting me, making me his priority, etc - but at the same I feel like it was SUPER unfair of him to get involved with her again while I still NEED him and after he'd promised to be here for me, you know?

Ugh.

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thestarsgoblind April 27 2009, 05:44:13 UTC
Yeah there are two sides to it, nothing is ever black and white. On one hand, you are his wife and he made a commitment to see this through. I also think that as long as he has your car, he really needs to respect you and your feelings towards his relationshp with her. I mean I don't know, I don't think it's fair that he's taking your car to spend nights with her and stuff. ugh. But if he's moved on, then he has and there's nothing you can do to change that either. It's shitty. =/ It's funny, I didn't realize how much pregnancy affected me until Abby was born. Perhaps when Ember arrives, it will give new light to situations.

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ohhhell April 27 2009, 05:59:20 UTC
He's an asshole. He's pissed off at her because she's being stupid and he was in the process of telling me what was wrong on gmail chat when he just disappears. I hate when he does that and I'm in a decent mood so I was teasing him for it on there waiting for him to come back and he wrote:

Gomez: IM NOT DEAD
me: lol
I know that
I'm being a pickle
I hate when you disappear like that
Gomez: stop not in the mood
im talking to my gf
me: ...

Like, fucking seriously? What the FUCK was that about? He could have just as easily said "I'm talking to Kristen" but he threw in the "gf" thing KNOWING FULL WELL that it was going to fucking hurt my feelings.

Sometimes, I fucking hate him.

And I hope you're right about things being different when she gets here... I only wish it was July. I need a distraction from this crap. And she would be a welcome one.

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giveitfullheart April 27 2009, 16:34:34 UTC
You need to get your car back from him and just stop bothering with him. You know how you think you'll go early? All this stress is going to make that come true. He's selfish and inconsiderate and you and Ember deserve better than that. It would be one thing if he didn't treat you like shit. I completely understanding loving someone and wanting to be with them but you are wasting so much time on him! It's unhealthy! Get your car and kick his stupid ass out of your life. You're making things harder on yourself by holding on to him.

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ohhhell April 27 2009, 21:44:39 UTC
I know. But I'm not strong enough for that. Not right now... as much as I hate to say it, I need him. I have no one else. My dad is so focused on school right now - he does clinicals 12 hours a day, 3 days a week, and has class 2 days a week - and my step-mom because she's been sick.... My mom and I get along but we aren't close.

That's the problem I have right now. I have no one in my life that I am close to aside from Isaac. I don't make friends easily. I'm shy and introverted. I have no one. And I know I can do birth alone, technically.. but I don't think emotionally I can handle it.

I don't know what to do.

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giveitfullheart April 28 2009, 01:42:28 UTC
I completely feel you on not being able to emotionally handle birth alone...but it seems he may end up ditching you for that cunt if she pitches a big enough fit, ya know? I worry about you over here in Ohio, darling. If we weren't so damn poor I'd fly out there and whack Issac over the head.

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