[locked to Jessi]

[ohboythepipes]

You asked at the coffee store if the first thing I noticed about you was that you needed to be taken care of.

It wasn't.

The first thing I noticed about you was that you had a lot of fucking courage.

Just figured I should correct you.

Comments

[idontlikecake]

You're crazy.

Courage is the one think I lack.

（>///<;）

[ohboythepipes]

I call you courageous, and you call me crazy? And here I thought you were nice, too.

Look I don't know what makes you say that you lack courage, but to stand out in front of a mall with your wings out, flagging fools down to help out the needy makes you pretty damn brave in my book.

[idontlikecake]

I've been a coward my entire life.

I've always let other people make decisions for me because I'm not capable of making them myself. There was... a lot of problems in my house as a kid and I stood by and didn't tell anyone. Because I was afraid of getting hurt.

I've only actually done something brave in my life once. And really, it was just me being selfish. Running away from my problems instead of facing them.

I've never really. Told anyone about them. I mean, it's not really a big deal, but there's a reason my sister and I got out of that house as quickly as we could. It's not a good place to be. But we left Mom there and.

...basically, Danny. Idealize me all you want, but I mean, sure, I wander outside my door, but that's necessity, not bravery. I have to leave the house. I have to do things. I have to try and take care of other people who can't do it themselves. That's. That's not bravery. That's just. Living.

[ohboythepipes]

Okay.

First, I don't idealize anybody.

Second, just cause you haven't always been brave, doesn't mean that there's nothing but fear and selfishness inside of you. I didn't say you were the bravest person that I've ever met. I just said that the first time I saw you, the first thing I thought about you is that you were brave.

Third, sometimes brave acts are selfish, too.

Taking care of other people who can't do it themselves? That's not living. It takes courage, and it's giving. If it were a part of living, no one would need help anymore, cause we'd all be busy living and giving to each other.

[idontlikecake]

...I should probably mention that my brother reads my journal.

[ohboythepipes]

What?

Why?

Okay, look. There's overprotective, and then there's fucking nuts.

You're a grown woman. You deserve your fuckin privacy.

[idontlikecake]

My family doesn't really do the "privacy" thing.

[ohboythepipes]

So?

It doesn't give him the right to read shit, and I really don't care if he reads any of this.