ANN Love and Sex special 08/04/23 -- Complete!
This is seriously taking longer than I thought it would, and I'm kind of swimming in other obligations at the moment, so I'm sorry this is a) so late, and b) so little. I just wanted to put this up, as I have it ready, and I'll update this post as I finish the other installments. --Edit: Done ;)
Umm... also, this is far from a perfect script... but I hope you still enjoy it.
The first part features some free talk, and a very sweet phone session with a 14 year old girl...
We have telephone advice tonight, and I think I want to talk with everyone a lot today.
Last week, the crows zero DVD was put out. You might not have seen the movie, but you should check it out, it’s pretty interesting. From the crank-in (movie start) on april 2? 3? until the crank-up (movie end), the making of team used around 3 cameras to record. Even the “making of” only is rather interesting. “Ah, that’s how they made it” - I think you can get some idea of that.
…etc.
The first song tonight is Arashi’s “Move your body”….which starts to sell today.
So today we want to talk about love (ai) and (physical or crush-type) love (koi), and also questions that you can usually only ask shun-niichan (older brother Shun - his nickname for sex- and male sex related advice during the radio-show).
He starts nicknaming “sex” as “laundry” (in English) here.
(insert Knorr cup soup PR - and the fact he’s going to give it out as present during the radio show - and he’s reminding people for the 100th time to include their full address, and not just to write “I want some soup!”)
Well until we get a phone connection, I’m going to do some free talk….
So, I’ve been thinking about “phones” recently. It's kind of nostalgic to remember the PHS phone times and the "PockeBell" times (pager?). (insert talk about how many text characters pagers started out with, and how they ended with around 100 text characters)
When we're speaking of phone advice, most people have a cell phone. There are not many people with a landline. In an earlier show, an older brother picked up the phone, and said that he's not going to just pass on the phone to his sister for a random weird stranger. Such things used to be very normal, whether the parents or the girl you like would pick up, or the times when you would just hang up without saying anything, because the parents picked up. Once I picked up a PHS phone, it was like a big thing. Now you can just connect very easily -- and even if you wanted to part with it, you really can't. I think that ease can be kind of scary sometimes.....like...is it ok to just connect with people so easily? That's something I've been thinking about a bit lately.
Otherwise, Oguri has recently had some spare time -- I've been watching several DVDs. Listening, watching, reading -- it's really fun.
And something I've taken that was interesting was the Mecha Ike (a tv show) "Mecha mecha ikemen gakuen" (a new segment in that tv comedy show).
(talks about watching Bourne Identity and Texas Chainsaw Massacre)
Ok, now let's start with the first mail:
Tokyo, radio-name: Akane-chan
Shun-kun good evening!
I'm a 9th grader (middle school 3rd year) since last fall, and suddenly I've ended up with my ex-boyfriend in the same class. Since we haven't talked at all, after we seperated, it's kind of bad to be in the same class. How can I start talking with him again?
(he keeps mumbling the email to himself, while he waits for her to pick up)
AKANE: Yes?
OGURI: Ah, good evening
A: Yes?
O: Is this akane-chan?
A: Yes.
O: Hi, this is Oguri Shun.
A: Yes!
O: Good evening. What are you doing right now?
A: I was listening to the radio.
O: So I just read this mail. When has school started this term?
A: april 7th.
O: And you ended up in the same class with your ex-boyfriend?
A: Yes, that's how it turned out.
O: When did you guys separate?
A: In 8th grade, around October.
O: And how long have you dated?
A: Since 7th grade, around July.
O: So around a year.
A: Well, one time we seperated, but he wanted to get back together, so we started going out again.
O: What kind of guy is he?
A: He's a basketball player; very tall; and very kind. I really liked him a lot....Well....and then we broke up....
O: I see.... so in that time you were going out, what kind of things did you do?
A: Well, that was the first time I had a boyfriend!
O: Well that's true! Isn't 7th grade one of the faster ones?
A: Well, I guess so, but there are also people that have boyfriends in elementary school?
O: WHAT, REALLY?? What do you do with a boyfriend in elementary school???
A: Well, I don't know. …So when we went out, we went to the aquarium and movies together and stuff like that.
O: Ahh, was that fun?
A: Yes, it was really fun!
O: So how come you broke up?
A: Well, I don't really know ... I guess I am a very earnest type, and that could have been a little too much.
O: I see...but you shouldn't worry about that, I think most people are very earnest.
A: Yeah, but...I guess that was a little too much for him.
O: Well yes, but you know. As 8th-graders, 14 years old, starting to date from this age, and then become adults like that, dating the same person and then marrying them -- well I guess there are people like that...But, you know, both of you will experience different loves and new things from here on out...And, well, in reality I think that more than you're thinking, the other party is also feeling quite uncomfortable. "How can I speak to her again?" I'm sure that your exboyfriend is thinking about that as well. So what I think is that one of the two of you has to open up a little bit, or otherwise it won't be good.
A: I see..
O: But, well, you're both together in the same classroom every day, right? That that's uncomfortable, and not speaking to each other is understandable.
You don't even greet each other?
A: I can't really greet him...
O: Well you know, since you've gone all the way to ask me for advice, I think Akane-chan should start!
How can you start talking with him? Well, I've never really been so much in love during junior high school, but in high school -- well it's definitely uncomfortable after you break up. But some time has already passed, right? Over half a year, right? Well, one thing that could be uncomfortable inside yourself, is that you still kind of like him -- is that right?
A: That's right...
O: If that's the case, then there's this situation where you don't want to start talking to him, because you don't want to be hated... But, even though I don't really know, if I, for example, had an ex-girlfriend that I had broken up with, the situation might be uncomfortable, but I could never hate that person, since I liked her so much. That's my thinking. It's possible that there are some people who start hating or disliking the person they broke up with, but I'm not like that. I'm usually the person that just starts talking normally after all.
So Akane-chan might have all these insecurities about not being disliked etc. but I really think that just starting to talk normally is your best option. Since you haven't talked until now, it's probably best to start talking about recent stuff. Like "How's the basketball club recently?". And it'll be soon time for entrance exams. So just talk about regular normal stuff like that.
I'm sure you're also worried that you still like him to some degree, and you don't want him to realize that or dislike you because of that.
A: Yeah, that's true
O: I think it'll be ok. It's a little scary at the beginning, but if you start talking normally to him at least once, it'll get better from then on out. Inside yourself, just close/finish up with your feelings of love towards him -- just once, really -- and just as normal friends start talking and interacting with him. Maybe he'll even start liking you again.
.........Well, tomorrow, try to talk a little bit with him...
A: Ok, I'll try my best with greeting him.
O: Because I'm standing right behind you (Kimi ni wa ore ga tsuiteiru -- ack, so sweet)
A: Aaaaah, thank you (yeah, I would swoon, too, if Oguri Shun told me something like that ;))
O: I'm going to give you some Knorr cup soup, so drink it and do your best
A: Oh, thank you so much! Good luck with work!
O: Ok well let's go to the next song: w-inds with "Ame ato" (good song ;))
Part 2 features a 31 year old woman in love with a 25 year old colleague, and a Mother who is scared her son will develop an oedipal mother complex....
That was "ame ato" by w-inds.
Just thinking about this, that time, around 14, is the time when one worries a lot, and is pretty insecure....If I say it the way I see it, if you stop being afraid of the way you're seen (by others), you can really overcome a lot (he says "clear a lot" like in computer game levels). It is, after all, because you don't want to be hated by others, that you can't come to grips with parts of yourself. "If you're going to be hated, well you're going to be hated; whatever" is maybe the attitude with which one can get in contact with others. In doing so, one can probably overcome a lot of things. However, if you have the attitude of "well, if I'm going to be hated, so what" the possibility that you do something that actually hurts or is not good towards others, can become higher. So it's a difficult balance to take.
But still, with that approach, I've reached 25 years, after all.
The next email is from radio-name Chie-san
"Today I wanted to hear the 25 year old Oguri-kun's opinion. I'm 31 years old, and fell in love with a 25 year old work colleague this year. But because my luck in love is very low, I'm just doing nothing apathetically. On top of everything, there are times when he sees me completely drunk. From the perspective of a 25 year old is love with a 31 year old lkajd;ajf (could not understand that) impossible after all?"
Mhmm, well how is it? I really don't think that guys usually care all that much about things like that....
Chie: Hello?
Oguri: Good Evening, it's Oguri Shun.
C: Good evening! Wow! Thanks so much!
O: So you want to hear my opinion as a 25 year old
C: Yes, I really do!
O: By the way, according to my opinion, I don't think age has anything to do with it.
C: Aaaah, so it's like that after all. But even though it's like that.....
(This chick is really difficult to understand, and uses kind of a cutesy voice - so I'm switching to summary style )
Basically she's insecure because he is after all a lot younger not just in age but also in maturity. Oguri asks her what kind of guy the 25 year old is and she says he's a regular, energetic 25 year old. She also doesn't want it to be public to some degree, because they're both working together - she says they're ok when they hang out together, but that it's difficult when they have company drinking events with everyone else. Oguri says that he might still think she's cute - in a hot-cold (tsundere) style. He says that it depends on how mature the other party is, but that he personally wouldn't care, if she was drunk and a little embarrassing. He also says that if they're already at a level where they can just hang out together with no one else, why not just go and try for it? But she's worried that everything would be uncomfortable, if he didn't want to go out with her, and so she keeps trying to calculate the risk. Oguri says that he thinks it's a difficult problem, but even though the work place is the same -- isn't work, work, after all? and love is love? So even if it becomes bad, it's not like you won't be able to do your work, especially since she is an adult, after all. He says that listening to her, it really seems to be just a question of her making up her mind, and talking to the 25 year old guy. She seems to be a little more convinced, but keeps on talking (she talks sooo much) about how there are all these fears involved, such as, what if he sees her more as a motherly figure? what if she sees him more as a childlike figure? But in the end she winds down (I think she realizes she's talking a lot), and says that she did receive some courage from Oguri's advice, and will try to challenge herself!
Yay, it ends with thanks all around.
(The following is Oguri continuing to talk to himself/the audience)
Well it's a difficult situation, but it seems like many people, and especially women!, are worried about issues of age when it comes to love. But I really don't think that men ... Well, first of all, men don't really ask women how old they are exactly, do they ? Especially since they're always told that it's impolite to ask a woman how old she is! If a person meets someone, doesn't know her age, goes out with her and grows to like her - well then it's a question of love, and age doesn't really play such a big role.
Well, but I guess women also, similarly, are concerned with the yearly wage, right? Like, "it's necessary that the person earns so-and-so much per year." There are people like that, right? If you're going to start talking like that, there's no end to it at all!
Well, next up:
Chiba-prefecture
radio name: Tomoko
"Shun-kun,
Good evening! This is a question for advice about my eldest son who just turned 11 this spring. He is very much a mother's child, who still wants to sleep with me in the same bed. Now that he's still very much a child, I'm not too worried, but I wonder whether I shouldn't do something before he turns older. I am also worried about forcing him into something, and therefore hurting him. Is it possible for this mother-complex child to just naturally let go? Shun-kun, when did you slowly start seperating from your mother, and how did this happen?"
Wow, that's difficult, I don't remember when I started seperating (mentally) from my mother, well, it does seem a little late for this one. But I still have a mother complex now....well, whatever.
Tomoko: Good evening!
Oguri: Is this Tomoko-san?
T: Yes
O: Well I've received your message. So it's about your oldest son, who's in second grade....he still sleeps with you....
T: Yeah, that's right. That's right. When we sleep, he hugs me.
O: Weeeeeell, to be honest, I think in seventh grade, this is a little bit too much...
T: Mhmm, so you think so as well.
O: What do the people around you say?
T: The people around us don't say anything at all in front of my son, of course. But I can infer from the way they talk that I suppose they think the same way.
O: How many children do you have by the way?
T: I have two. My son and his younger sister.
O: So, for example, the younger sister doesn't say things like "Until when are you going to do things like that?"
T: Well, I suppose, because it's always been like that, she doesn't really think that the situation is strange.
O: Ah, I see. Well, but to be honest, I think things like letting go of your mother happen from time to time by themselves. I don't really think that, at least in my case, there were any kind of conditions or a special situation.
T: Oh really?
O: So, for example, between 3rd and 4th year we had to do (some kind study activity) with a parent. At that time I was still calling my mother "mama". When the girl next to me heard that she said, "Oguri-kun, you're still calling your mother "mama"? That's disgusting." So after that, I started thinking about a lot of things. "Ah, you can't call her 'mama'" I realized.
T: Oooooh, I see. Since last year, we've stopped holding hands when walking on the street. That was fine when he was in 3rd and 4th grade, but after that he stopped. I really guess it's just the sleeping at night thing.
O: But, I guess, now that I'm this age, I actually want to hold hands with my mother and walk.
T: Oh, really?!
O: Weeeeell, I suppose when he remembers how he was embarrassed by that, and then slowly becomes more embarrassed by other things, he himself will slowly distance himself.
In a little bit, he'll be at the rebellious stage. On the other hand, if a child that has loved his mother so much until now, enters the rebellious stage, maybe Tomoko-san won't be able to stand it....
T: Haha, I wonder how that will be. It's a little scary. I'm not sure what I'll be able to do towards behaviour that I have never seen before.
O: But, in that way, isn't Tomoko-san very much loved by her (your) son?
T: Yes, that's true, I'm happy now, because he's still so little. But from here on out, thinking that he'll become older and older, it's kind of a not very good feeling. (re: his very strong attachment to her)
O: Hahaha, I guess that's true. But, well, since I'm not a parent, I can't give a parent-like opinion -- but I think that when you write you don't want to bluntly force him or forsake him -- well you are a family after all. I think maybe there are times when you have to refuse or do something bluntly in the family.
T: I suppose so. When he became a 3rd grader I told him to sleep alone, but he said he's scared when he sleeps alone....
O: "Scared when alone" hahaha, that's very cute. And, the father?
T: Well the father, since he has to sleep at a different temperature, has his own room....
O: But when you told him about this, he didn't say anything?
T: Yes, my husband said it was dangerous, that it could turn into a mother complex.
O: But, I suppose I have a mother complex as well. And I really love my family. I think something like that is fine as it is. Well, he'll probably realize here and there.
T: I think his overall character is rather immature. He also says he hates girls. And even, when I tell him, "you'll like them at some point" he always answers "never! never!" His feelings are probably more at the elementary school level at the moment.
O: Well that happens sometimes as well. But it could also be that a person could be that "type" - a little woman-like.
But in that sense, from a parent's position there are many things that one must consider.
T: Yes, that's true.
O: And right now it's a time, when what kind of person he may be will be forgiven. But how old is he now? 13?
T: He's 12.
O: So, 12. From here on he will live through the drama of junior high and high school. We'll see if he turns into a man or what. Once he turns into an 8th-grader, and the situation remains the same, let's talk again.
T: Ah, understood, thank you very much!
Well, wow, it's really difficult....people...
Part 3 has the regular "Love Prologue" corner, and a married lady, whose husband stopped sleeping with her...
(Ai no Prologue is a corner where the writer of Oguri's ANN, Saegusa-kun, plays with writing fictions about mistaken love, based on either e-mail sent to the corner itself, or by lifting e-mails from other corners, and going crazy with them. Oguri basically yells at him every single time, because the stories are so outrageous, or they're based on completely different emails to completely different corners.)
The Ai no Prologue (or Love Prologue) this time is a story about a woman who falls in love with a hair dresser, and reads signals of love in the way he washes her hair and lovingly sets it, and even breaks up with her boyfriend. She got the hair dresser's mail address, and corresponds directly with him when she gets her hair done. One time she realizes that the shampoo has changed, and knows in her heart that the beautician understands her, and that he must be using a special shampoo just for her! So she sees that day as a special day, fortifies her heart, and replies to the usual question "Is there anywhere itchy?" with a nervous "Well, my....there....is...itchy. It's impatient...."
The beautician answers that he'll scratch the itch. The sound of a belt loosening echoes through the shop.
(Hardcore, Saegusa-kun)
The accompanying song to ai no prologue for this story is Hirai Ken's "Elegy". We got this story from Yukiko from the Yamanashi Prefecture, who is actually part of the real beginnings of a love story with a beautician. Wow, this is unbelievable, her P.S. says "I'll leave the rest to Saegusa-san."
How is it? Today's? I've take a note here about how Hirai Ken sings that he wants a medicine for this sickness -- It would be amazing if there were a medicine for your sickness -- it's your (Saegusa-kun's) sickness, yo!
(This is always pretty cute, because you can always hear Saegusa-kun snicker in the background ;))
But I do understand this situation. Now the beauticians stand at the back of your head, and all you can see is their hands, but they used to stand the other way around, bowing over you -- Wow, did I get heartbeating from situations like that. If there weren't any clothes, the nipples would be right there! (Saegusa-kun is laughing) IF THERE WEREN'T ANY CLOTHES, I'm saying... If there weren't any, it would have been the situation of a fish reaching for his fodder. (He makes some incredible sounds to go with that image....)
Oh, dentists! Dentists! You can totally not see their faces, right? And there's always this potential that they're mind-blowingly gorgeous. And they always are looking at your dental caries, and it's so embarrassing that you always think "don't look at these embarrassing spots!"
Well, well, well that was today's ai-pro. From here on out, we'll do some more phone advice.
So let's go immediately ahead here: This is Mariko-san from Gifu prefecture.
Oguri: Hello
Mariko: Good evening! Nice to meet you!
O: Nice to meet you! How old are you, Mariko-san?
M: I'm 28.
O: And what question do you have today?
M: Well, it's a question about the life at night (i.e. sex matters). I'm married - I've been married for 2 years now. Well, there is no freshness at all anymore. So I called to ask how to bring that freshness back... What, for a man, can bring freshness back.
O: That is so difficult.
M: Well that's true. I've done different things, but there were no results...so..
O: For example, what kind of things?
M: Oh, like getting matching underwear, or putting on perfume ...
O: Sooo, for Mariko-san, there is still freshness?
M: Well, even if it's not quite freshness... Just that it's been increasingly "not that I want to embrace you, that I only want to do it"....Well, if it was Shun-kun, what kind of things could be done to return a feeling of freshness.
O: That is really difficult.
M: Is it that difficult?
O: Weeell, maybe it's not about what you can do about the nightlife perhaps -- when it comes to a freshness, that's something that always follows behind, right?
M: That's right.
O: Follows behind whatever. So in order to bring that back, you need something like Ajinomoto (MSG brand), something that can find and embrace the deliciousness.
M: That is absolutely correct!
O: (laughs) So, for example, what kind of interests does your partner, your husband, right? - your husband have?
M: I wonder...Maybe I don't know...He sleeps soon, because he's so tired. Maybe he doesn't have an interest towards sexual things like that. Ah, but he used to in the past!
O: Mhmmm, when did you marry?
M: When I was 26.
O: So this is the third year?
I see, and before that? The period of being lovers?
M: That was a little over 3 years.
O: Well, this is the sixth year, right? Mhmm, I see. But regarding that "no interest"... for example, I REALLY like alcohol.
M: Oh, really?
O: Yes, and so, when you drink alcohol, there are times when you are very lively but then become very tired and sleepy. So even, when you something (like sex?) that you really like, you end up falling asleep. I had times like that a lot last year.
M: Oh, because of work?
O: Yeah, when work was very hard. With situations like that, that switch can't turn on, you know?
M: So it's like that. It can't turn on.
O: But still, however....
(something I don't quite understand)
Well, about your night life -- how's the pace?
M: Eh?! How's the pace?!
O: Well, since you've started dating - I'm assuming that it's not as frequent as when you started dating...
M: Yes, pretty much. Yes! ...Is that ok to say something like that?
O: It's totally ok. This is the kind of advice today, after all. Now, presently, how often?
M: Now when I'm trying to count, it's almost hard to remember when the last time was.
O: Oh my, well that's pretty harsh!
M: That's right!
O: And children?
M: We don't have any. Well, I'm still doing work, so we want to still wait, but since we've said that is also about the time that these things started not happening anymore.
O: Well, one thing first of: When you decide to have children, might also be another change to that part of your life, right? Well it would be a love for that specific purpose, but I think that women would become sad when it's only something for that purpose.
M: That's absolutely true. It (sex) is a way of affirming the love ties.
O: Mhmm, but if that's the case, well then you'll need to find something to arouse him.
M: Exactly, I'm not sure about that part.
O: You need something that will make him think "no matter what, today I want to embrace you." Since you've married, has your figure changed?
M: Yes, it changed! Is that bad?
O: I think a point like that is pretty important. I think that many guys want the girls they're married to to remain pretty.
M: Oh, I might not match that.
O: So, possibly, if Mariko-san put in the work and effort to change that or to try to bring that (the figure before marriage) back, things might change as well.
M: So, if I went to the gym more often, and showed my figure doing my best....
O: "Oh, what happened?" "What happened?" you can answer nonchalantly "I just thought I'd move my body a little." "Maybe she is doing her best for my sake." Something like that.
M: Are men weak for things like that?
O: I think so! After all.... Well, I don't know. I have to be pretty careful with my figure because of work. But it's also an effort I do in order to show this being that is "I", so I have to keep maintaining my body. If people are neglectful and never do any excercise or anything, they gain weight, right?
M: That's true.
O: But, if in that case, you are doing an effort, your attractiveness will begin to circulate again, and then like it used to be, that feeling "Oh, you're pretty" will begin again. I think that the excitement (doki-doki) can be born that way.
M: I see. Lately, I also haven't been told things like that anymore.
O: Well, in your case you married because you loved each other. Because precisely there are many soothing things about each other, you're together. If guys or women, those things slowly fade, and you become sad. For example, if Mariko-san now that you're married, gets kids and becomes a housewife, there will be less time for things like that. But in the present, since there is time, and you're doing work, you can try to do your best, and maybe create such moments for yourself.
M: I understand. Since you've told me that, I'll do my best starting today.
O: If there's anything after, write me an e-mail.
M: I will write an e-mail, if there's any change. .....Is that ok?
O: Huh?
M: To send such a weird e-mail?
O: It's ok, just be careful to not write it too lively, or it won't be given to me.
M: So, moderately.
O: Yes, moderately. If you write in the email "I can only write so much, but I can say more on the phone", and if I did really call you, I can moderate you.
M: I understand!
O: Please do your best. "Aim for the I of that time!"
M: Yes, thank you so much!
O: Oh, I'll send you soup!
M: Thank you! I'll drink it in the morning!
Ya ya ya ya -- How is it? I suppose there are moments/instances like that as well, when you marry. Marriage is something that gives you, for men as well as women, a bit of fusion. When you've made one person into your family - even though of course you have a family since your birth - but when something like a partner becomes ... attached to you...that's something one can probably not be prepared for. So when things happen, like your partner's figure changes, you think "though at that time that person was so beautiful, what happened?"
Well, the night has intensified with this kind of talking ...
Ok, here, let's listen to the next song: Kiyokiba Shunsuke with "Ima"
Part 4 features a lady whose partner sucks at you-know-what, and another lady whose partner is a little too passive...
Ok, let's go jan-jan and dial more people; this here is Naomi-chan
Oguri: Hello
Naomi: Hello, good evening.
O: Ok, so Naomi-chan's worry is...
N: Yes! Ok, well, I've now been dating for half a year with a very kind boyfriend. Even though it's very awesome that he's so kind, but the LAUNDRY (the code word for you-know-what) is kind of very bad.
O: (laughs) the Laundry is bad....
N: Yes, and how I can best communicate that to him, without hurting him.... I'm really worried about that right now.
O: When you say "the laundry is bad" what kind of thing is he bad at?
N: (laughs) well, maybe....only maybe, he's seen too many adult videos, so that his fantasies turn out like that. Although I don't know for sure... but his ideas of "if you do something like that, girls will feel good" are all usually wrong....(laughs) well, the Laundry time, and the acrobatics.
O: (laughs) ACROBATICS??
N: (laugh) Yes. Pretty acrobatic.
O: EEeeeh? (something I didn't understand, but could be "liquid surfaces"?) No, different. What is "acrobatic"? Like what?
N: What, should I say something more in detail?
O: Go ahead, go ahead -- but lightly, ok? If it's too dangerous, I'll yell "aaah"
N: Ok ok, well, I guess I'll go ahead. Ok, well I'm on the bottom, and he's on the top, right?
O: Right, right (Oguri is SOOOOO into this conversation ;D )
N: Both legs are on the shoulders, right?
O: On the shoulders, right, on the shoulders. Like a backpack? (Don't ask me...maybe that helps him imagine the legs-on-the-shoulder part?)
N: Like a backpack. From the front, right? And, so in this condition, he falls towards me, which also means my legs are bent towards me, so that, in fact, I become something like a folded chair.
O: Aaaaah (he mumbles something drawlingly)
N: Yes, well, in such a position, I can absolutely not breathe or concentrate.
O: Ah, you can't concentrate. Aaaah, like that.
N: Something like that.
O: So, ok, for example, a good or well-versed person, right? What kind of person would they be?
N: Well, that would be even without me telling them, discovering something good...(also something else a little garbled, which I think, refers to the fact that as a young lover he is finished quite fast). That's also a little annoying, right?
O: (laughs) Sorry, Naomi-chan is very good at expressing herself in circumspect language, but still conveying her meaning. But, you know, can't you learn quite a lot from watching adult videos?
N: Well, maybe...but somehow, everything's a bit off.
O: But...even though your partner is very kind and attentive, at these times he's somehow inattentive?
N: Maybe he's attentive, but inside-out -- like he thinks that doing these things, I'll be happy -- and that's how it turned out. And things like "a little more like this" or "a little longer"....
O: And you can't really say things like these sometimes?
N: Well, even if I tell him at that time, and he takes care, the next time is bad again.
O: Oh, I see...I wonder, what... Some men perhaps don't want to be told? It's probably hurtful to be told point-blank that one is no good. Maybe if you wanted to tell him, you could say something like "I feel better like this. It's good to tell you, right?"
N: Well, I've said that. Though I've said that, it's always gone back to before. "Eh?" I was thinking "Does he not remember?"
O: Maybe he doesn't learn fast? "Ouch!" isn't it better to say it straight-out like that?
N: Yeah?
O: Yes "Ouch!" or "That hurts!"
N: Mhmmm
O: So until now, you just bite your teeth and endure it?
Yes, I pretty much endure it.
O: But that's not really good....
N: That's right...It's not really fun at all. Even though that's supposed to be fun, what a pity.
O: Especially, since there is love involved, Naomi-chan, right? Well with those circumstances it's probably a little yuck for you right?
N: I don't want it to be like that, so that's why I want to find something good to say. But I can't convey myself.
O: So for trying it out, maybe, one time, you could say something like "Today I want to try xyz (sorry! either he says I want to try being a dead body, or he says I want to try to lead ;D Or maybe something else! ;D )"
N: Although it's a pity, I've tried that before
O: Oh you've tried that already. If you've already tried that it becomes difficult. And your partner still doesn't follow. But, if you've managed to come that far in half a year's time, trying out different things, and creating a sexual environment - you two are pretty amazing.
N: Well, well, well, I guess I can't deny that.
O: You guys must love sex a lot! (laughs) Right?
N: Yes. I LOVE it! (how amazing for a japanese chick! I like her ;D) BECAUSE I love it, I want it to be fun.
O: Well, if it's like that, I think you might have to forget just one time that you don't want to hurt him.
N: Oh! So in order to destroy the wall...
O: Right, in order to destroy the wall, maybe you have to try taking down his self-confidence a little (I _think_ is what he says...). Just one time, right? And when he crawls back up, he will turn into "Lion King".
N: I wonder if he'll turn into "Lion King" (laughs)
O: "The you that was pushed down, and came back up, is a Lion King!" a LAUNDRY King, even!
(laughs)
But yes, the two of you that have come so far in half a year, and are taking so much care towards each other....(something something about hurting a guy's feeling)
N: What if he becomes down-hearted?
O: If he becomes down-hearted, Naomi-chan can lead him from there again, right?
N: (laughs) But if the little brother (read: his penis) becomes down-hearted, then I will become down-hearted as well...(laughs)
O: Even such a dejected little brother can be cheered up by Naomi-chan, right? (Aaaah, he has the biggest grin in his voice ;))
N: (laughs) I'll do my best!
O: (in a cute voice) "Awww, what's the matter?"
(massive laughter on both sides)
Ok we can only go so far, since I've just been given a "Stop" - please challenge yourself.
N: Yes, I'll do my best.
O: Let me know, if anything else comes up.
N: Thank you! Bye!
O: Bye!
So that's how it goes. Well, mhmmmm, (sorry, he's using some phrases I don't understand here, but essentially he's talking about the difficulty of Laundry, especially in light of being two people. But that it's not all about technique, but more about the love ties that are there, which create a willingness to communicate with each other).
Ok, I'm still going to continue the phone calls. Next up is Aiko-san from Saitama prefecture.
O: Hello?
Aiko: Hello
O: Good evening, it's Oguri Shun. Nice to meet you. So, Aiko-san, you want advice on?
A: Yes. I have a boyfriend, and when I'm sleeping or before I'm sleeping
(This whole conversation is a little too difficult for me to handle in dialogue format, so I'm switching to summary style)
Basically Aiko-san has been with her boyfriend for six and a half years, and he seems to be more passive than active. She wants to get him to be a little more active, and to not always lay the dominant sexual burden on her. They used to live together for a year and a half, but now have seperate living places (she's living with her siblings). Oguri suggests that she take a dominant role to suggest submissive things -- for example, her boyfriend likes to be tied up - so Oguri suggests that she says in a commanding manner that if he wants to do that, he should also do it to her first! And that maybe, if he's commanded into action (as he wants) he will in fact take action.
Wow, we're coming to our ending time here. Well I've done a lot of phone calls today....But...today's questions were all very difficult. There's often not really an answer. After all, I can only say "this is only my opinion." I want to become able to give good answers.
So, next week, we're not having ANN because of a special radio program. And after that is Golden Week (massive Japanese vacation). What should I do for Golden Week? I guess no matter where you go for Golden Week, it will be full of people. I guess I'll stay at home....
Lately, no matter WHERE I go, I'm being recognized as "Oguri Shun" ....awwww...even though I want to go to so many places. (makes crying sounds -- so cute!)
Ok, tonight, we'll end here! This was Oguri Shun! Bye Bye!
Umm... also, this is far from a perfect script... but I hope you still enjoy it.
The first part features some free talk, and a very sweet phone session with a 14 year old girl...
We have telephone advice tonight, and I think I want to talk with everyone a lot today.
Last week, the crows zero DVD was put out. You might not have seen the movie, but you should check it out, it’s pretty interesting. From the crank-in (movie start) on april 2? 3? until the crank-up (movie end), the making of team used around 3 cameras to record. Even the “making of” only is rather interesting. “Ah, that’s how they made it” - I think you can get some idea of that.
…etc.
The first song tonight is Arashi’s “Move your body”….which starts to sell today.
So today we want to talk about love (ai) and (physical or crush-type) love (koi), and also questions that you can usually only ask shun-niichan (older brother Shun - his nickname for sex- and male sex related advice during the radio-show).
He starts nicknaming “sex” as “laundry” (in English) here.
(insert Knorr cup soup PR - and the fact he’s going to give it out as present during the radio show - and he’s reminding people for the 100th time to include their full address, and not just to write “I want some soup!”)
Well until we get a phone connection, I’m going to do some free talk….
So, I’ve been thinking about “phones” recently. It's kind of nostalgic to remember the PHS phone times and the "PockeBell" times (pager?). (insert talk about how many text characters pagers started out with, and how they ended with around 100 text characters)
When we're speaking of phone advice, most people have a cell phone. There are not many people with a landline. In an earlier show, an older brother picked up the phone, and said that he's not going to just pass on the phone to his sister for a random weird stranger. Such things used to be very normal, whether the parents or the girl you like would pick up, or the times when you would just hang up without saying anything, because the parents picked up. Once I picked up a PHS phone, it was like a big thing. Now you can just connect very easily -- and even if you wanted to part with it, you really can't. I think that ease can be kind of scary sometimes.....like...is it ok to just connect with people so easily? That's something I've been thinking about a bit lately.
Otherwise, Oguri has recently had some spare time -- I've been watching several DVDs. Listening, watching, reading -- it's really fun.
And something I've taken that was interesting was the Mecha Ike (a tv show) "Mecha mecha ikemen gakuen" (a new segment in that tv comedy show).
(talks about watching Bourne Identity and Texas Chainsaw Massacre)
Ok, now let's start with the first mail:
Tokyo, radio-name: Akane-chan
Shun-kun good evening!
I'm a 9th grader (middle school 3rd year) since last fall, and suddenly I've ended up with my ex-boyfriend in the same class. Since we haven't talked at all, after we seperated, it's kind of bad to be in the same class. How can I start talking with him again?
(he keeps mumbling the email to himself, while he waits for her to pick up)
AKANE: Yes?
OGURI: Ah, good evening
A: Yes?
O: Is this akane-chan?
A: Yes.
O: Hi, this is Oguri Shun.
A: Yes!
O: Good evening. What are you doing right now?
A: I was listening to the radio.
O: So I just read this mail. When has school started this term?
A: april 7th.
O: And you ended up in the same class with your ex-boyfriend?
A: Yes, that's how it turned out.
O: When did you guys separate?
A: In 8th grade, around October.
O: And how long have you dated?
A: Since 7th grade, around July.
O: So around a year.
A: Well, one time we seperated, but he wanted to get back together, so we started going out again.
O: What kind of guy is he?
A: He's a basketball player; very tall; and very kind. I really liked him a lot....Well....and then we broke up....
O: I see.... so in that time you were going out, what kind of things did you do?
A: Well, that was the first time I had a boyfriend!
O: Well that's true! Isn't 7th grade one of the faster ones?
A: Well, I guess so, but there are also people that have boyfriends in elementary school?
O: WHAT, REALLY?? What do you do with a boyfriend in elementary school???
A: Well, I don't know. …So when we went out, we went to the aquarium and movies together and stuff like that.
O: Ahh, was that fun?
A: Yes, it was really fun!
O: So how come you broke up?
A: Well, I don't really know ... I guess I am a very earnest type, and that could have been a little too much.
O: I see...but you shouldn't worry about that, I think most people are very earnest.
A: Yeah, but...I guess that was a little too much for him.
O: Well yes, but you know. As 8th-graders, 14 years old, starting to date from this age, and then become adults like that, dating the same person and then marrying them -- well I guess there are people like that...But, you know, both of you will experience different loves and new things from here on out...And, well, in reality I think that more than you're thinking, the other party is also feeling quite uncomfortable. "How can I speak to her again?" I'm sure that your exboyfriend is thinking about that as well. So what I think is that one of the two of you has to open up a little bit, or otherwise it won't be good.
A: I see..
O: But, well, you're both together in the same classroom every day, right? That that's uncomfortable, and not speaking to each other is understandable.
You don't even greet each other?
A: I can't really greet him...
O: Well you know, since you've gone all the way to ask me for advice, I think Akane-chan should start!
How can you start talking with him? Well, I've never really been so much in love during junior high school, but in high school -- well it's definitely uncomfortable after you break up. But some time has already passed, right? Over half a year, right? Well, one thing that could be uncomfortable inside yourself, is that you still kind of like him -- is that right?
A: That's right...
O: If that's the case, then there's this situation where you don't want to start talking to him, because you don't want to be hated... But, even though I don't really know, if I, for example, had an ex-girlfriend that I had broken up with, the situation might be uncomfortable, but I could never hate that person, since I liked her so much. That's my thinking. It's possible that there are some people who start hating or disliking the person they broke up with, but I'm not like that. I'm usually the person that just starts talking normally after all.
So Akane-chan might have all these insecurities about not being disliked etc. but I really think that just starting to talk normally is your best option. Since you haven't talked until now, it's probably best to start talking about recent stuff. Like "How's the basketball club recently?". And it'll be soon time for entrance exams. So just talk about regular normal stuff like that.
I'm sure you're also worried that you still like him to some degree, and you don't want him to realize that or dislike you because of that.
A: Yeah, that's true
O: I think it'll be ok. It's a little scary at the beginning, but if you start talking normally to him at least once, it'll get better from then on out. Inside yourself, just close/finish up with your feelings of love towards him -- just once, really -- and just as normal friends start talking and interacting with him. Maybe he'll even start liking you again.
.........Well, tomorrow, try to talk a little bit with him...
A: Ok, I'll try my best with greeting him.
O: Because I'm standing right behind you (Kimi ni wa ore ga tsuiteiru -- ack, so sweet)
A: Aaaaah, thank you (yeah, I would swoon, too, if Oguri Shun told me something like that ;))
O: I'm going to give you some Knorr cup soup, so drink it and do your best
A: Oh, thank you so much! Good luck with work!
O: Ok well let's go to the next song: w-inds with "Ame ato" (good song ;))
Part 2 features a 31 year old woman in love with a 25 year old colleague, and a Mother who is scared her son will develop an oedipal mother complex....
That was "ame ato" by w-inds.
Just thinking about this, that time, around 14, is the time when one worries a lot, and is pretty insecure....If I say it the way I see it, if you stop being afraid of the way you're seen (by others), you can really overcome a lot (he says "clear a lot" like in computer game levels). It is, after all, because you don't want to be hated by others, that you can't come to grips with parts of yourself. "If you're going to be hated, well you're going to be hated; whatever" is maybe the attitude with which one can get in contact with others. In doing so, one can probably overcome a lot of things. However, if you have the attitude of "well, if I'm going to be hated, so what" the possibility that you do something that actually hurts or is not good towards others, can become higher. So it's a difficult balance to take.
But still, with that approach, I've reached 25 years, after all.
The next email is from radio-name Chie-san
"Today I wanted to hear the 25 year old Oguri-kun's opinion. I'm 31 years old, and fell in love with a 25 year old work colleague this year. But because my luck in love is very low, I'm just doing nothing apathetically. On top of everything, there are times when he sees me completely drunk. From the perspective of a 25 year old is love with a 31 year old lkajd;ajf (could not understand that) impossible after all?"
Mhmm, well how is it? I really don't think that guys usually care all that much about things like that....
Chie: Hello?
Oguri: Good Evening, it's Oguri Shun.
C: Good evening! Wow! Thanks so much!
O: So you want to hear my opinion as a 25 year old
C: Yes, I really do!
O: By the way, according to my opinion, I don't think age has anything to do with it.
C: Aaaah, so it's like that after all. But even though it's like that.....
(This chick is really difficult to understand, and uses kind of a cutesy voice - so I'm switching to summary style )
Basically she's insecure because he is after all a lot younger not just in age but also in maturity. Oguri asks her what kind of guy the 25 year old is and she says he's a regular, energetic 25 year old. She also doesn't want it to be public to some degree, because they're both working together - she says they're ok when they hang out together, but that it's difficult when they have company drinking events with everyone else. Oguri says that he might still think she's cute - in a hot-cold (tsundere) style. He says that it depends on how mature the other party is, but that he personally wouldn't care, if she was drunk and a little embarrassing. He also says that if they're already at a level where they can just hang out together with no one else, why not just go and try for it? But she's worried that everything would be uncomfortable, if he didn't want to go out with her, and so she keeps trying to calculate the risk. Oguri says that he thinks it's a difficult problem, but even though the work place is the same -- isn't work, work, after all? and love is love? So even if it becomes bad, it's not like you won't be able to do your work, especially since she is an adult, after all. He says that listening to her, it really seems to be just a question of her making up her mind, and talking to the 25 year old guy. She seems to be a little more convinced, but keeps on talking (she talks sooo much) about how there are all these fears involved, such as, what if he sees her more as a motherly figure? what if she sees him more as a childlike figure? But in the end she winds down (I think she realizes she's talking a lot), and says that she did receive some courage from Oguri's advice, and will try to challenge herself!
Yay, it ends with thanks all around.
(The following is Oguri continuing to talk to himself/the audience)
Well it's a difficult situation, but it seems like many people, and especially women!, are worried about issues of age when it comes to love. But I really don't think that men ... Well, first of all, men don't really ask women how old they are exactly, do they ? Especially since they're always told that it's impolite to ask a woman how old she is! If a person meets someone, doesn't know her age, goes out with her and grows to like her - well then it's a question of love, and age doesn't really play such a big role.
Well, but I guess women also, similarly, are concerned with the yearly wage, right? Like, "it's necessary that the person earns so-and-so much per year." There are people like that, right? If you're going to start talking like that, there's no end to it at all!
Well, next up:
Chiba-prefecture
radio name: Tomoko
"Shun-kun,
Good evening! This is a question for advice about my eldest son who just turned 11 this spring. He is very much a mother's child, who still wants to sleep with me in the same bed. Now that he's still very much a child, I'm not too worried, but I wonder whether I shouldn't do something before he turns older. I am also worried about forcing him into something, and therefore hurting him. Is it possible for this mother-complex child to just naturally let go? Shun-kun, when did you slowly start seperating from your mother, and how did this happen?"
Wow, that's difficult, I don't remember when I started seperating (mentally) from my mother, well, it does seem a little late for this one. But I still have a mother complex now....well, whatever.
Tomoko: Good evening!
Oguri: Is this Tomoko-san?
T: Yes
O: Well I've received your message. So it's about your oldest son, who's in second grade....he still sleeps with you....
T: Yeah, that's right. That's right. When we sleep, he hugs me.
O: Weeeeeell, to be honest, I think in seventh grade, this is a little bit too much...
T: Mhmm, so you think so as well.
O: What do the people around you say?
T: The people around us don't say anything at all in front of my son, of course. But I can infer from the way they talk that I suppose they think the same way.
O: How many children do you have by the way?
T: I have two. My son and his younger sister.
O: So, for example, the younger sister doesn't say things like "Until when are you going to do things like that?"
T: Well, I suppose, because it's always been like that, she doesn't really think that the situation is strange.
O: Ah, I see. Well, but to be honest, I think things like letting go of your mother happen from time to time by themselves. I don't really think that, at least in my case, there were any kind of conditions or a special situation.
T: Oh really?
O: So, for example, between 3rd and 4th year we had to do (some kind study activity) with a parent. At that time I was still calling my mother "mama". When the girl next to me heard that she said, "Oguri-kun, you're still calling your mother "mama"? That's disgusting." So after that, I started thinking about a lot of things. "Ah, you can't call her 'mama'" I realized.
T: Oooooh, I see. Since last year, we've stopped holding hands when walking on the street. That was fine when he was in 3rd and 4th grade, but after that he stopped. I really guess it's just the sleeping at night thing.
O: But, I guess, now that I'm this age, I actually want to hold hands with my mother and walk.
T: Oh, really?!
O: Weeeeell, I suppose when he remembers how he was embarrassed by that, and then slowly becomes more embarrassed by other things, he himself will slowly distance himself.
In a little bit, he'll be at the rebellious stage. On the other hand, if a child that has loved his mother so much until now, enters the rebellious stage, maybe Tomoko-san won't be able to stand it....
T: Haha, I wonder how that will be. It's a little scary. I'm not sure what I'll be able to do towards behaviour that I have never seen before.
O: But, in that way, isn't Tomoko-san very much loved by her (your) son?
T: Yes, that's true, I'm happy now, because he's still so little. But from here on out, thinking that he'll become older and older, it's kind of a not very good feeling. (re: his very strong attachment to her)
O: Hahaha, I guess that's true. But, well, since I'm not a parent, I can't give a parent-like opinion -- but I think that when you write you don't want to bluntly force him or forsake him -- well you are a family after all. I think maybe there are times when you have to refuse or do something bluntly in the family.
T: I suppose so. When he became a 3rd grader I told him to sleep alone, but he said he's scared when he sleeps alone....
O: "Scared when alone" hahaha, that's very cute. And, the father?
T: Well the father, since he has to sleep at a different temperature, has his own room....
O: But when you told him about this, he didn't say anything?
T: Yes, my husband said it was dangerous, that it could turn into a mother complex.
O: But, I suppose I have a mother complex as well. And I really love my family. I think something like that is fine as it is. Well, he'll probably realize here and there.
T: I think his overall character is rather immature. He also says he hates girls. And even, when I tell him, "you'll like them at some point" he always answers "never! never!" His feelings are probably more at the elementary school level at the moment.
O: Well that happens sometimes as well. But it could also be that a person could be that "type" - a little woman-like.
But in that sense, from a parent's position there are many things that one must consider.
T: Yes, that's true.
O: And right now it's a time, when what kind of person he may be will be forgiven. But how old is he now? 13?
T: He's 12.
O: So, 12. From here on he will live through the drama of junior high and high school. We'll see if he turns into a man or what. Once he turns into an 8th-grader, and the situation remains the same, let's talk again.
T: Ah, understood, thank you very much!
Well, wow, it's really difficult....people...
Part 3 has the regular "Love Prologue" corner, and a married lady, whose husband stopped sleeping with her...
(Ai no Prologue is a corner where the writer of Oguri's ANN, Saegusa-kun, plays with writing fictions about mistaken love, based on either e-mail sent to the corner itself, or by lifting e-mails from other corners, and going crazy with them. Oguri basically yells at him every single time, because the stories are so outrageous, or they're based on completely different emails to completely different corners.)
The Ai no Prologue (or Love Prologue) this time is a story about a woman who falls in love with a hair dresser, and reads signals of love in the way he washes her hair and lovingly sets it, and even breaks up with her boyfriend. She got the hair dresser's mail address, and corresponds directly with him when she gets her hair done. One time she realizes that the shampoo has changed, and knows in her heart that the beautician understands her, and that he must be using a special shampoo just for her! So she sees that day as a special day, fortifies her heart, and replies to the usual question "Is there anywhere itchy?" with a nervous "Well, my....there....is...itchy. It's impatient...."
The beautician answers that he'll scratch the itch. The sound of a belt loosening echoes through the shop.
(Hardcore, Saegusa-kun)
The accompanying song to ai no prologue for this story is Hirai Ken's "Elegy". We got this story from Yukiko from the Yamanashi Prefecture, who is actually part of the real beginnings of a love story with a beautician. Wow, this is unbelievable, her P.S. says "I'll leave the rest to Saegusa-san."
How is it? Today's? I've take a note here about how Hirai Ken sings that he wants a medicine for this sickness -- It would be amazing if there were a medicine for your sickness -- it's your (Saegusa-kun's) sickness, yo!
(This is always pretty cute, because you can always hear Saegusa-kun snicker in the background ;))
But I do understand this situation. Now the beauticians stand at the back of your head, and all you can see is their hands, but they used to stand the other way around, bowing over you -- Wow, did I get heartbeating from situations like that. If there weren't any clothes, the nipples would be right there! (Saegusa-kun is laughing) IF THERE WEREN'T ANY CLOTHES, I'm saying... If there weren't any, it would have been the situation of a fish reaching for his fodder. (He makes some incredible sounds to go with that image....)
Oh, dentists! Dentists! You can totally not see their faces, right? And there's always this potential that they're mind-blowingly gorgeous. And they always are looking at your dental caries, and it's so embarrassing that you always think "don't look at these embarrassing spots!"
Well, well, well that was today's ai-pro. From here on out, we'll do some more phone advice.
So let's go immediately ahead here: This is Mariko-san from Gifu prefecture.
Oguri: Hello
Mariko: Good evening! Nice to meet you!
O: Nice to meet you! How old are you, Mariko-san?
M: I'm 28.
O: And what question do you have today?
M: Well, it's a question about the life at night (i.e. sex matters). I'm married - I've been married for 2 years now. Well, there is no freshness at all anymore. So I called to ask how to bring that freshness back... What, for a man, can bring freshness back.
O: That is so difficult.
M: Well that's true. I've done different things, but there were no results...so..
O: For example, what kind of things?
M: Oh, like getting matching underwear, or putting on perfume ...
O: Sooo, for Mariko-san, there is still freshness?
M: Well, even if it's not quite freshness... Just that it's been increasingly "not that I want to embrace you, that I only want to do it"....Well, if it was Shun-kun, what kind of things could be done to return a feeling of freshness.
O: That is really difficult.
M: Is it that difficult?
O: Weeell, maybe it's not about what you can do about the nightlife perhaps -- when it comes to a freshness, that's something that always follows behind, right?
M: That's right.
O: Follows behind whatever. So in order to bring that back, you need something like Ajinomoto (MSG brand), something that can find and embrace the deliciousness.
M: That is absolutely correct!
O: (laughs) So, for example, what kind of interests does your partner, your husband, right? - your husband have?
M: I wonder...Maybe I don't know...He sleeps soon, because he's so tired. Maybe he doesn't have an interest towards sexual things like that. Ah, but he used to in the past!
O: Mhmmm, when did you marry?
M: When I was 26.
O: So this is the third year?
I see, and before that? The period of being lovers?
M: That was a little over 3 years.
O: Well, this is the sixth year, right? Mhmm, I see. But regarding that "no interest"... for example, I REALLY like alcohol.
M: Oh, really?
O: Yes, and so, when you drink alcohol, there are times when you are very lively but then become very tired and sleepy. So even, when you something (like sex?) that you really like, you end up falling asleep. I had times like that a lot last year.
M: Oh, because of work?
O: Yeah, when work was very hard. With situations like that, that switch can't turn on, you know?
M: So it's like that. It can't turn on.
O: But still, however....
(something I don't quite understand)
Well, about your night life -- how's the pace?
M: Eh?! How's the pace?!
O: Well, since you've started dating - I'm assuming that it's not as frequent as when you started dating...
M: Yes, pretty much. Yes! ...Is that ok to say something like that?
O: It's totally ok. This is the kind of advice today, after all. Now, presently, how often?
M: Now when I'm trying to count, it's almost hard to remember when the last time was.
O: Oh my, well that's pretty harsh!
M: That's right!
O: And children?
M: We don't have any. Well, I'm still doing work, so we want to still wait, but since we've said that is also about the time that these things started not happening anymore.
O: Well, one thing first of: When you decide to have children, might also be another change to that part of your life, right? Well it would be a love for that specific purpose, but I think that women would become sad when it's only something for that purpose.
M: That's absolutely true. It (sex) is a way of affirming the love ties.
O: Mhmm, but if that's the case, well then you'll need to find something to arouse him.
M: Exactly, I'm not sure about that part.
O: You need something that will make him think "no matter what, today I want to embrace you." Since you've married, has your figure changed?
M: Yes, it changed! Is that bad?
O: I think a point like that is pretty important. I think that many guys want the girls they're married to to remain pretty.
M: Oh, I might not match that.
O: So, possibly, if Mariko-san put in the work and effort to change that or to try to bring that (the figure before marriage) back, things might change as well.
M: So, if I went to the gym more often, and showed my figure doing my best....
O: "Oh, what happened?" "What happened?" you can answer nonchalantly "I just thought I'd move my body a little." "Maybe she is doing her best for my sake." Something like that.
M: Are men weak for things like that?
O: I think so! After all.... Well, I don't know. I have to be pretty careful with my figure because of work. But it's also an effort I do in order to show this being that is "I", so I have to keep maintaining my body. If people are neglectful and never do any excercise or anything, they gain weight, right?
M: That's true.
O: But, if in that case, you are doing an effort, your attractiveness will begin to circulate again, and then like it used to be, that feeling "Oh, you're pretty" will begin again. I think that the excitement (doki-doki) can be born that way.
M: I see. Lately, I also haven't been told things like that anymore.
O: Well, in your case you married because you loved each other. Because precisely there are many soothing things about each other, you're together. If guys or women, those things slowly fade, and you become sad. For example, if Mariko-san now that you're married, gets kids and becomes a housewife, there will be less time for things like that. But in the present, since there is time, and you're doing work, you can try to do your best, and maybe create such moments for yourself.
M: I understand. Since you've told me that, I'll do my best starting today.
O: If there's anything after, write me an e-mail.
M: I will write an e-mail, if there's any change. .....Is that ok?
O: Huh?
M: To send such a weird e-mail?
O: It's ok, just be careful to not write it too lively, or it won't be given to me.
M: So, moderately.
O: Yes, moderately. If you write in the email "I can only write so much, but I can say more on the phone", and if I did really call you, I can moderate you.
M: I understand!
O: Please do your best. "Aim for the I of that time!"
M: Yes, thank you so much!
O: Oh, I'll send you soup!
M: Thank you! I'll drink it in the morning!
Ya ya ya ya -- How is it? I suppose there are moments/instances like that as well, when you marry. Marriage is something that gives you, for men as well as women, a bit of fusion. When you've made one person into your family - even though of course you have a family since your birth - but when something like a partner becomes ... attached to you...that's something one can probably not be prepared for. So when things happen, like your partner's figure changes, you think "though at that time that person was so beautiful, what happened?"
Well, the night has intensified with this kind of talking ...
Ok, here, let's listen to the next song: Kiyokiba Shunsuke with "Ima"
Part 4 features a lady whose partner sucks at you-know-what, and another lady whose partner is a little too passive...
Ok, let's go jan-jan and dial more people; this here is Naomi-chan
Oguri: Hello
Naomi: Hello, good evening.
O: Ok, so Naomi-chan's worry is...
N: Yes! Ok, well, I've now been dating for half a year with a very kind boyfriend. Even though it's very awesome that he's so kind, but the LAUNDRY (the code word for you-know-what) is kind of very bad.
O: (laughs) the Laundry is bad....
N: Yes, and how I can best communicate that to him, without hurting him.... I'm really worried about that right now.
O: When you say "the laundry is bad" what kind of thing is he bad at?
N: (laughs) well, maybe....only maybe, he's seen too many adult videos, so that his fantasies turn out like that. Although I don't know for sure... but his ideas of "if you do something like that, girls will feel good" are all usually wrong....(laughs) well, the Laundry time, and the acrobatics.
O: (laughs) ACROBATICS??
N: (laugh) Yes. Pretty acrobatic.
O: EEeeeh? (something I didn't understand, but could be "liquid surfaces"?) No, different. What is "acrobatic"? Like what?
N: What, should I say something more in detail?
O: Go ahead, go ahead -- but lightly, ok? If it's too dangerous, I'll yell "aaah"
N: Ok ok, well, I guess I'll go ahead. Ok, well I'm on the bottom, and he's on the top, right?
O: Right, right (Oguri is SOOOOO into this conversation ;D )
N: Both legs are on the shoulders, right?
O: On the shoulders, right, on the shoulders. Like a backpack? (Don't ask me...maybe that helps him imagine the legs-on-the-shoulder part?)
N: Like a backpack. From the front, right? And, so in this condition, he falls towards me, which also means my legs are bent towards me, so that, in fact, I become something like a folded chair.
O: Aaaaah (he mumbles something drawlingly)
N: Yes, well, in such a position, I can absolutely not breathe or concentrate.
O: Ah, you can't concentrate. Aaaah, like that.
N: Something like that.
O: So, ok, for example, a good or well-versed person, right? What kind of person would they be?
N: Well, that would be even without me telling them, discovering something good...(also something else a little garbled, which I think, refers to the fact that as a young lover he is finished quite fast). That's also a little annoying, right?
O: (laughs) Sorry, Naomi-chan is very good at expressing herself in circumspect language, but still conveying her meaning. But, you know, can't you learn quite a lot from watching adult videos?
N: Well, maybe...but somehow, everything's a bit off.
O: But...even though your partner is very kind and attentive, at these times he's somehow inattentive?
N: Maybe he's attentive, but inside-out -- like he thinks that doing these things, I'll be happy -- and that's how it turned out. And things like "a little more like this" or "a little longer"....
O: And you can't really say things like these sometimes?
N: Well, even if I tell him at that time, and he takes care, the next time is bad again.
O: Oh, I see...I wonder, what... Some men perhaps don't want to be told? It's probably hurtful to be told point-blank that one is no good. Maybe if you wanted to tell him, you could say something like "I feel better like this. It's good to tell you, right?"
N: Well, I've said that. Though I've said that, it's always gone back to before. "Eh?" I was thinking "Does he not remember?"
O: Maybe he doesn't learn fast? "Ouch!" isn't it better to say it straight-out like that?
N: Yeah?
O: Yes "Ouch!" or "That hurts!"
N: Mhmmm
O: So until now, you just bite your teeth and endure it?
Yes, I pretty much endure it.
O: But that's not really good....
N: That's right...It's not really fun at all. Even though that's supposed to be fun, what a pity.
O: Especially, since there is love involved, Naomi-chan, right? Well with those circumstances it's probably a little yuck for you right?
N: I don't want it to be like that, so that's why I want to find something good to say. But I can't convey myself.
O: So for trying it out, maybe, one time, you could say something like "Today I want to try xyz (sorry! either he says I want to try being a dead body, or he says I want to try to lead ;D Or maybe something else! ;D )"
N: Although it's a pity, I've tried that before
O: Oh you've tried that already. If you've already tried that it becomes difficult. And your partner still doesn't follow. But, if you've managed to come that far in half a year's time, trying out different things, and creating a sexual environment - you two are pretty amazing.
N: Well, well, well, I guess I can't deny that.
O: You guys must love sex a lot! (laughs) Right?
N: Yes. I LOVE it! (how amazing for a japanese chick! I like her ;D) BECAUSE I love it, I want it to be fun.
O: Well, if it's like that, I think you might have to forget just one time that you don't want to hurt him.
N: Oh! So in order to destroy the wall...
O: Right, in order to destroy the wall, maybe you have to try taking down his self-confidence a little (I _think_ is what he says...). Just one time, right? And when he crawls back up, he will turn into "Lion King".
N: I wonder if he'll turn into "Lion King" (laughs)
O: "The you that was pushed down, and came back up, is a Lion King!" a LAUNDRY King, even!
(laughs)
But yes, the two of you that have come so far in half a year, and are taking so much care towards each other....(something something about hurting a guy's feeling)
N: What if he becomes down-hearted?
O: If he becomes down-hearted, Naomi-chan can lead him from there again, right?
N: (laughs) But if the little brother (read: his penis) becomes down-hearted, then I will become down-hearted as well...(laughs)
O: Even such a dejected little brother can be cheered up by Naomi-chan, right? (Aaaah, he has the biggest grin in his voice ;))
N: (laughs) I'll do my best!
O: (in a cute voice) "Awww, what's the matter?"
(massive laughter on both sides)
Ok we can only go so far, since I've just been given a "Stop" - please challenge yourself.
N: Yes, I'll do my best.
O: Let me know, if anything else comes up.
N: Thank you! Bye!
O: Bye!
So that's how it goes. Well, mhmmmm, (sorry, he's using some phrases I don't understand here, but essentially he's talking about the difficulty of Laundry, especially in light of being two people. But that it's not all about technique, but more about the love ties that are there, which create a willingness to communicate with each other).
Ok, I'm still going to continue the phone calls. Next up is Aiko-san from Saitama prefecture.
O: Hello?
Aiko: Hello
O: Good evening, it's Oguri Shun. Nice to meet you. So, Aiko-san, you want advice on?
A: Yes. I have a boyfriend, and when I'm sleeping or before I'm sleeping
(This whole conversation is a little too difficult for me to handle in dialogue format, so I'm switching to summary style)
Basically Aiko-san has been with her boyfriend for six and a half years, and he seems to be more passive than active. She wants to get him to be a little more active, and to not always lay the dominant sexual burden on her. They used to live together for a year and a half, but now have seperate living places (she's living with her siblings). Oguri suggests that she take a dominant role to suggest submissive things -- for example, her boyfriend likes to be tied up - so Oguri suggests that she says in a commanding manner that if he wants to do that, he should also do it to her first! And that maybe, if he's commanded into action (as he wants) he will in fact take action.
Wow, we're coming to our ending time here. Well I've done a lot of phone calls today....But...today's questions were all very difficult. There's often not really an answer. After all, I can only say "this is only my opinion." I want to become able to give good answers.
So, next week, we're not having ANN because of a special radio program. And after that is Golden Week (massive Japanese vacation). What should I do for Golden Week? I guess no matter where you go for Golden Week, it will be full of people. I guess I'll stay at home....
Lately, no matter WHERE I go, I'm being recognized as "Oguri Shun" ....awwww...even though I want to go to so many places. (makes crying sounds -- so cute!)
Ok, tonight, we'll end here! This was Oguri Shun! Bye Bye!