Mid-November.

[ofthefamily]

It's cold in Ithica.

It does not effect Carlisle as he walks from the classroom where he has been teaching night courses in Anatomy and Physiology at the community college back to his car.

(He didn't see the student trying to catch him in the hallway to ask a question about the homework. Carlisle hasn't been all that observant of late.)

Comments

[ofthefamily]

It was his card. Losing hope.

And Star cannot bring him back here by force. Carlisle knows that Esme had to start out with that, and loves her for it. Always.

"Just -- " and Carlisle's voice slips a little in control if not in volume.

What can he even ask for? What would She actually do?

" -- Let him remember. Let him. Look up into the sunlight and see."

[bright_daughter]

Star closed her eyes as Carlisle's words started.
They stayed closed even once he'd finished.

The dark of the night rolled on around them all, only darkening two, even in the porch light. Somewhere else pieces shifted, the future opened new avenues along the lane of light. Even The Watchers could make choices. The rarity of Moon's choice, her new life, moved all of the dominoes still.

Then Stars eyes opened slowly on them both, as she faded further and further. Twinkling twilight light, a shimmer of stars and then a voice on the wind. "What you think and what is are two different things. Remember. Look up."

[sheisourheart]

"Is she gone?" Is a smaller question than she wants it to be.

Even more, Esme wants to know if she's gone to Edward now.

[ofthefamily]

"As ever she is. Esme, I -- "

Carlisle sits on the front step to his house.

[sheisourheart]

It's only when she look upward, toward and the roof and the sky at the way he says her name, that she remembers the last words of Star and looks back down.

Esme took the small silent steps, and sat down next to him, placing one hand on his thigh.

[ofthefamily]

"I am so sorry, cara. I am doing it again."

[sheisourheart]

There's a soft breath out. Not sigh, simply a breath.
"Maybe I should have listened to you earlier."

She's not sure that's right, but their home....the family.
Carlisle here, again, and Edward gone, again. Jasper and Alice.

[ofthefamily]

"There are times when I am not the best arbiter of..." A light scoff. "Anything."

"She said I'm. I'm losing hope. I can't."

[sheisourheart]

Esme sought out his hand. Again. Slipping her fingers into the hand she's taken for all of this life. For better and worse, in sickness and health. In all the ways those words could be taken about the man sitting to her side.

"We're hardly beaten." She rested her chin on his shoulder. "It has been two months, but he's still talking to us this time. It could still turn around."

[ofthefamily]

"Esme."

Carlisle raises Esme's hand and takes his time kissing the tips of each of her fingers on it.

(She doesn't understand.)

"If I was convinced that being near you would bring you harm, there's no telling what I would do."

[sheisourheart]

She wants to smile, and does, against his shoulder, even if the deference comes with a price. She knows how it would feel, sound, be when Carlisle was overjoyed and doting. They don't have his problem. She can not help both being grateful and mourning that at the same time.

"We can't play if's, and's and but's here. You wouldn't, and he has. We all know why. Even Rose knows and cares, in her own way. He'll remember. He has to find it on his own to it. You know that as much as I do."

[ofthefamily]

"I suppose you're going to remind me I have papers to grade."

[sheisourheart]

"No," is a soft whisper, lifting her chin, so she's smiling at him. A quiet, small thing. Kind and not untouched be sadness or weight. She reached out an arm and ran her hand along his back.

"I'm going to remind you this will take time. Far more time than you or I or anyone of us wants. And that you're not alone. That none of us are going to let you forget that anytime soon."

Or Edward. She could tell Carlisle this every night when he came home, and she could leave a message for Edward each day even if he wouldn't answer his phone. Family wasn't about being there only when it was good.

[ofthefamily]

"Can we just. Go to bed?"

[sheisourheart]

Esme stood up, holding his hands still. "Come with me."

[ofthefamily]

Vampires do not sleep. (At least, none in this universe.)

So going to bed, passing Emmett and Rosalie, thinking of Alice and Jasper and Edward and those who are there but aren't, doesn't mean sleep.

It just means rest. As much as can be found.

So Carlisle changes out of his work clothes without much preamble, ready to finish his day.