(no subject)
"Hey! What the hell is wrong with you?!"
"I'm sorry."
"You should be sorry! I left you six messages, dumbass! I didn't know if you were alive or what! Why didn't you call me!"
Oh. "I... I didn't know what to say."
"What about, 'hey, Emmy, I'm not ready to talk about it yet but just so you know, I haven't done anything retarded, so stop leaving me freaked out messages.'"
"I had my phone off!"
"Well... don't do that! Not after you freak me out like that!"
"Okay, sorry!"
"Good!"
"God."
"God. So what's going on?"
"I 'unno."
"No, seriously, what's going on? You totally kissed me."
"...yeah."
"...so are you--"
"I dunno," she says quickly, uncomfortable. "Do I have to be... anything? Maybe I'm just crazy."
"You're not crazy."
"I have to break up with Ben," she says, changing the subject.
"Yeah you do."
"How did he--"
"I told him it was a menstrual thing," Emmy says. "That usually works, but I don't think he bought it. He took off."
"Ech. God. How did the rest of the party go?"
"Not bad. The afterparty was nice. Derek stayed over and I made up for bailing on him."
"Hey, Em..."
"Yeah?"
"You really like Derek, right?"
"Yeah."
"Do you love him?"
"Ah, jeez, Rose, I don't know. We're having a good time."
"How do you feel about him, though? I mean... what's it like?"
"I 'unno. You know, I... like him. You know?"
She bites her lip, traces her thumb over the patterns on her wrist. "Maybe not," she says.
"Ah, jeez. Uh... I look forward to seeing him. I think about him sometimes at random, like some part of his body or the way he smiles or something, like while I'm trying to study or something. When we first started going out I couldn't shut up about him, remember? Sometimes when we're... making out or whatever, he makes me totally crazy and I just want to jump him. Like without hardly doing anything. I guess I feel, like... happy being with him. You know, like it doesn't really matter what we're doing, because the point is we're doing it together. He does nice stuff for me."
"Is that why you feel like... like he deserves... or... I don't know..."
"I don't know about deserves anything, Rose. I just want him. Want him around, want to do... stuff... with him. Maybe I wouldn't if he was a jerk, but maybe not. He's pretty cute."
"Oh."
"Does that... help?"
"I have to break up with Ben," she says again.
"Yeah," Emmy says. "It's the right thing to do, Rose. For both of you."
"So why does doing the right thing suck so much?"
"My theory is God's a douchebag."
"...yeah."
"Okay, dude, it's totally early."
"Yeah. I'm sorry, Em. I'll let you go."
"Not a thing. Just. Call me later, chica. Okay?"
"Okay."
One down; she's moving down her checklist, and Ben is next. Probably still too early to call, though. She tries going back to bed herself; she's not really tired. She lies restless, staring at her walls. Her posters stare back.
It isn't very long before she gets up for a shower. Some breakfast. Maybe there's something on TV.
(Maybe Ben's already up.)
Once she starts something, she means to see it through.
She's up before her parents; Eddie Toren wanders into the kitchen to the smell of frying eggs. "You can have these," she says, sliding them onto a plate and handing them off. "I'll make more. Is Mom up?"
"Getting there," he yawns. "Seems like you're in a good mood."
Is she? Rose hesitates, an egg in her hand. "I guess so."
"Something happen?"
"Guess I've just got my mind right. Anyway, you know. Whole new year."
Crack.
"I'm sorry."
"You should be sorry! I left you six messages, dumbass! I didn't know if you were alive or what! Why didn't you call me!"
Oh. "I... I didn't know what to say."
"What about, 'hey, Emmy, I'm not ready to talk about it yet but just so you know, I haven't done anything retarded, so stop leaving me freaked out messages.'"
"I had my phone off!"
"Well... don't do that! Not after you freak me out like that!"
"Okay, sorry!"
"Good!"
"God."
"God. So what's going on?"
"I 'unno."
"No, seriously, what's going on? You totally kissed me."
"...yeah."
"...so are you--"
"I dunno," she says quickly, uncomfortable. "Do I have to be... anything? Maybe I'm just crazy."
"You're not crazy."
"I have to break up with Ben," she says, changing the subject.
"Yeah you do."
"How did he--"
"I told him it was a menstrual thing," Emmy says. "That usually works, but I don't think he bought it. He took off."
"Ech. God. How did the rest of the party go?"
"Not bad. The afterparty was nice. Derek stayed over and I made up for bailing on him."
"Hey, Em..."
"Yeah?"
"You really like Derek, right?"
"Yeah."
"Do you love him?"
"Ah, jeez, Rose, I don't know. We're having a good time."
"How do you feel about him, though? I mean... what's it like?"
"I 'unno. You know, I... like him. You know?"
She bites her lip, traces her thumb over the patterns on her wrist. "Maybe not," she says.
"Ah, jeez. Uh... I look forward to seeing him. I think about him sometimes at random, like some part of his body or the way he smiles or something, like while I'm trying to study or something. When we first started going out I couldn't shut up about him, remember? Sometimes when we're... making out or whatever, he makes me totally crazy and I just want to jump him. Like without hardly doing anything. I guess I feel, like... happy being with him. You know, like it doesn't really matter what we're doing, because the point is we're doing it together. He does nice stuff for me."
"Is that why you feel like... like he deserves... or... I don't know..."
"I don't know about deserves anything, Rose. I just want him. Want him around, want to do... stuff... with him. Maybe I wouldn't if he was a jerk, but maybe not. He's pretty cute."
"Oh."
"Does that... help?"
"I have to break up with Ben," she says again.
"Yeah," Emmy says. "It's the right thing to do, Rose. For both of you."
"So why does doing the right thing suck so much?"
"My theory is God's a douchebag."
"...yeah."
"Okay, dude, it's totally early."
"Yeah. I'm sorry, Em. I'll let you go."
"Not a thing. Just. Call me later, chica. Okay?"
"Okay."
One down; she's moving down her checklist, and Ben is next. Probably still too early to call, though. She tries going back to bed herself; she's not really tired. She lies restless, staring at her walls. Her posters stare back.
It isn't very long before she gets up for a shower. Some breakfast. Maybe there's something on TV.
(Maybe Ben's already up.)
Once she starts something, she means to see it through.
She's up before her parents; Eddie Toren wanders into the kitchen to the smell of frying eggs. "You can have these," she says, sliding them onto a plate and handing them off. "I'll make more. Is Mom up?"
"Getting there," he yawns. "Seems like you're in a good mood."
Is she? Rose hesitates, an egg in her hand. "I guess so."
"Something happen?"
"Guess I've just got my mind right. Anyway, you know. Whole new year."
Crack.