[Lamento] Wish
Title: Wish
Fandom: Lamento - Beyond the Void
Pairing: AsatoxKonoe
Rating: PG-15
Warnings: references to sex, oh noez
Disclaimer: Nitro+Chiral owns them.
Wish
Konoe leaned against the windowsill, watching the proceedings in the steadily darkening street below the inn's window. He knew that he had been sitting here all afternoon, and that he was probably worrying his friends, but he had a lot to think about. Because Asato had asked him to return to Kira.
It was almost entirely dark outside, lanterns lighting up the street with their multi-colored glow, by the time he heard the door move in its hinges. Somebody quietly stepped up behind him, before enfolding him in his arms. "You are unhappy," Asato murmured, sorrow plain in his voice.
Konoe's own hands came up to rest over his embrace. "No, I'm not."
Asato studied his profile for a minute, perhaps to see if he was being sincere, and then said, "But you don't want to go back to Kira."
The assumption was not entirely wrong, so Konoe didn't deny it. It was difficult to say, or rather, put into words that would make Asato see his point, what made him so uneasy. He understood Asato's wish to move back to his hometown, but he doubted Asato had fully realized the consequences. Asato saw himself as the protector, the caretaker, a view which was only strengthened by the matter of Konoe's injured arm, so he tended not to think of himself at all.
In the ensuing silence, Asato suddenly dipped his head, rubbing his cheek against the side of Konoe's neck in a submissive gesture reminiscent of an overgrown kitten. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. "We don't have to go back if you don't like it. We can stay here. Or-"
Or rather, Konoe silently amended, he thought himself so unimportant that he did not think of himself. So he turned in his arms and quickly silenced Asato with a finger. "Don't."
"But-"
"Don't apologize for wanting something."
"I don't want it if it makes Konoe unhappy," Asato said against his finger, ears flattened and thoroughly miserable at the very notion of causing him pain. Konoe couldn't help but smile at that, sliding up his hand to cup Asato's cheek. "I told you, I'm not unhappy." He paused. "It's just that... I'm worried that they will hurt you."
Asato blinked, and he sighed at the incomprehension in his eyes, the thought that it was only natural to be mistreated and shunned too deeply ingrained to fully be removed. "They weren't exactly nice people, remember?"
"Kagari is nice," Asato said.
"Kagari is one person. There will be many others. I just don't want to see you get hurt because of them."
Asato remained silent for a moment, biting his lip. "They... don't matter," he finally decided. "I belong to Konoe. Their words can't touch me, only Konoe's words are important. And..." He trailed off, unsure.
"And?" Konoe asked gently, encouragingly.
"I... I would like to show you my home. I would like to show Kagari the person who matters most to me in this world."
Smiling, Konoe returned the embrace, admitting defeat. If this was what would make Asato happy, then he would defend that happiness with everything he had.
---
In quiet moments, she watched them. When they were too engrossed in each other to notice her curious eyes, she was observing them.
She saw how Asato hovered all around him, over him, so eager to please, hoping to learn and fulfill his lover's every wish. And she saw how Konoe responded, with a bright smile and brighter eyes, full of nothing but love and kindness. Or so it seemed. It worried her sometimes.
It worried her, because she knew how people responded to someone so hungry for affection and approval, and she knew that Asato would bear any ill-treatment with a smile, as he had always done in the past. Only this time, it was different because he was putting his whole heart on the line, loved that young man more than she had thought it was possible to love someone. More than she had ever loved anyone, that was for sure.
Movement up ahead pulled her from her thoughts, just in time to see Asato darting off into the undergrowth, leaving them behind. Konoe watched him go, before turning around to face her. "Asato has gone to scout out the area," he said. "He wants us to wait here."
Kagari blinked in confusion, flicking her ears back and forth, but picking up nothing that would have warranted such precautions. "That's unnecessary..."
"I know," he replied, before turning back in the direction Asato had left in.
Oh, of course. Of course.
She stepped to his side. They stood in silence for a while, until Konoe threw her a sideways glance. "You wanted to talk to me?"
Surprised, she just stared at him, wondering how he did that. How he always seemed so in tune with people, how he simply knew things before others had barely realized them themselves. And he was right this time, too. She did want to talk.
"Doesn't it bother you?" she asked after carefully choosing her words. "That he thinks you are in need of protection?"
Don't you resent him for it?
"That he thinks I am helpless, you mean," Konoe replied.
"No, I did not-"
He smiled at her, as soft and intangible as water. "He doesn't. He is just... trying to make up for what he believes to be his fault."
Kagari did not miss the quick glance towards his injured arm, and it occurred to her that she had never asked Asato for the details on that story, but if what Konoe was implying was true... "And you let him?" she asked, trying to suppress the bout of sudden anger that wanted to escape her.
You let him feel guilty for it?
The smile vanished from his lips, and his eyes grew hard. For a second, she wondered if he could read her very thoughts.
"No," he said decisively. And then, softer, "No, I would never do that. But you of all people should know how hard it is to convince him of certain things. All I can do is tell him that I love him, no matter what he does or thinks he has done, and wait for the day when he finally believes those words completely, in his heart." A small smile stole back onto his face, and he sighed dramatically. "Until then, I am willing to let myself be protected, if it makes him feel better about himself."
Kagari found that she couldn't reply to that. It seemed almost too good to be true, that those should be Konoe's motivations. That he would be such a gentle soul. Could Asato truly be so lucky? She wanted to know more about him. She wanted to ask him the questions that had been plaguing her ever since they had returned to Kira. For some reason, she thought that he would not resent her for asking.
The snapping of twigs interrupted her before she could voice her concerns, though, as Asato hurriedly re-emerged from the bushes. "I found red currants!" he announced, tail lashing excitedly.
"Really?" Konoe asked enthusiastically, immediately giving him his full attention.
"Mn! Come look!" And he disappeared back into the bushes.
"Sounds like we can make lots of jam," Konoe said, smiling almost apologetically.
"Konoe..."
Asato's head reappeared between the branches. "What are you doing? Hurry up, hurry up!"
"Oi, Asato! No pulling! Wah!"
And they were gone in a rustle of leaves.
Kagari remained standing there for a moment, listening to the echo of Asato's happy chattering and Konoe's loud, but not quite indignant protests. A couple of birds lifted off in the distance, twittering angrily at being disturbed. She reached out and parted the branches with one hand, catching the glint of sunlight against the green. Suddenly, she felt just a tiny bit foolish for having wanted to ask about devils and monsters and cut-off limbs.
Maybe, just maybe, those questions could wait for another day.
The underbrush soundlessly closed behind her.
---
"What do you want?"
She expected him to ask for toys or treats, like all little children were wont to do, but instead, he looked up at her with eyes too old and needy to belong to a child, and reached out with his small arms.
I want to be loved.
---
"You really wanted that?" Konoe asked, absent-mindedly arranging strands of Asato's hair in no particular order.
"Mhm."
Konoe smiled in the semi-darkness, teasing the rim of one of Asato's ears with the tip of his finger, until Asato flicked his ears and let out a muffled laugh.
"And now that you are loved, what do you want?"
Asato lifted himself up on his elbows, then, eyes bright and possessive and happy and hopeful, and dove down to kiss him, long and slow.
"I want..."
The rest got lost somewhere between the sheets.
---
She found Konoe in the small herb garden at the back of the house, surrounded by earth and tools, squatting down and trying to pull up a weed with his good hand. Suddenly, the soil gave, the weed came flying out, and he lost his balance, tumbling back and landing on his backside in the dirt. He lifted up the offending plant still in his hand and glared at it as if he really believed the weed had done it on purpose, and Kagari couldn't quite hold back her laughter.
"Oh, Kagari!" he said, cheeks flushing at being caught in such an undignified position, and let go of the plant, quickly clambering to his feet and dusting off his hand against his thigh. "Can I help you?"
Kagari reigned in her giggles at that, reminding herself about why she had come to see him. She didn't exactly like what she was going to do, but felt that she had to, if only for her own peace of mind. "I... well..." She paused and sighed. "How should I say this..."
Konoe came to stand beside her, wiping the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand, but giving her his undivided attention. "In my experience, it is often best to say something as you mean it."
"It's going to sound awkward," she sighed, but straightened her back all the same. "I've been meaning to ask you... what do you want from Asato?"
He gave her a sidelong glance, and then smiled widely. "You mean, what do I want with your son?"
It really sounded like she was giving a child away for marriage, she realized. But Konoe's words made a part of her stir, a part that she had always tried to push away because she had never felt entitled to those feelings. That part had always considered Asato her child. "Yes, with my son," she replied, and was grateful that he didn't comment on her reddening cheeks.
Konoe studied her for a minute, his eyes serious, but not offended at the question. "What do you think I want?"
"That is the thing. I don't know. I don't know what you want. But everybody wants something, don't they?" Embarrassment bubbled up inside her when she realized that she was seriously hoping he would deny her assumption, prove her wrong.
And it seemed Konoe knew she was hoping that, too. "I won't say that I don't want anything, or that what I want is small or insignificant or inconsequential, because I do, and it isn't. I want nothing less than the most important thing Asato has. I want his heart." He paused. "So, you see... I can't really do anything to ease your worries. I'm sorry."
Still, for some reason, she found that his words had done exactly that.
---
When Konoe came, it was always Asato who whispered, "Pleasepleasepleaseplease..." like a prayer.
It was Asato who tangled their tails and fit their bodies together like he was trying to melt into Konoe. It was Asato who pushed his head against Konoe's palm in the middle of doing the dishes, unmindful of dirty water and soap bubbles getting into his hair. And it was Asato who murmured his name when Konoe touched him while he was still more than half-asleep.
And these things made Konoe feel warmer inside than whatever the world thought was a sign of somebody's love, because they let him know that he had gotten his wish.
---
FIN
A/N:
- Gods, Kagari. I love her. She kicks so much ass, I really hope I didn't ruin her character. *grovels*
- I originally wanted to have two even sides to the story, with a little bit of Kagari in between. Figures the kitties would pwn me, though. XD
C&C is highly encouraged and appreciated.
<< Return to Lamento Index | Return to Fanfiction Index >>
Fandom: Lamento - Beyond the Void
Pairing: AsatoxKonoe
Rating: PG-15
Warnings: references to sex, oh noez
Disclaimer: Nitro+Chiral owns them.
Wish
Konoe leaned against the windowsill, watching the proceedings in the steadily darkening street below the inn's window. He knew that he had been sitting here all afternoon, and that he was probably worrying his friends, but he had a lot to think about. Because Asato had asked him to return to Kira.
It was almost entirely dark outside, lanterns lighting up the street with their multi-colored glow, by the time he heard the door move in its hinges. Somebody quietly stepped up behind him, before enfolding him in his arms. "You are unhappy," Asato murmured, sorrow plain in his voice.
Konoe's own hands came up to rest over his embrace. "No, I'm not."
Asato studied his profile for a minute, perhaps to see if he was being sincere, and then said, "But you don't want to go back to Kira."
The assumption was not entirely wrong, so Konoe didn't deny it. It was difficult to say, or rather, put into words that would make Asato see his point, what made him so uneasy. He understood Asato's wish to move back to his hometown, but he doubted Asato had fully realized the consequences. Asato saw himself as the protector, the caretaker, a view which was only strengthened by the matter of Konoe's injured arm, so he tended not to think of himself at all.
In the ensuing silence, Asato suddenly dipped his head, rubbing his cheek against the side of Konoe's neck in a submissive gesture reminiscent of an overgrown kitten. "I'm sorry," he mumbled. "We don't have to go back if you don't like it. We can stay here. Or-"
Or rather, Konoe silently amended, he thought himself so unimportant that he did not think of himself. So he turned in his arms and quickly silenced Asato with a finger. "Don't."
"But-"
"Don't apologize for wanting something."
"I don't want it if it makes Konoe unhappy," Asato said against his finger, ears flattened and thoroughly miserable at the very notion of causing him pain. Konoe couldn't help but smile at that, sliding up his hand to cup Asato's cheek. "I told you, I'm not unhappy." He paused. "It's just that... I'm worried that they will hurt you."
Asato blinked, and he sighed at the incomprehension in his eyes, the thought that it was only natural to be mistreated and shunned too deeply ingrained to fully be removed. "They weren't exactly nice people, remember?"
"Kagari is nice," Asato said.
"Kagari is one person. There will be many others. I just don't want to see you get hurt because of them."
Asato remained silent for a moment, biting his lip. "They... don't matter," he finally decided. "I belong to Konoe. Their words can't touch me, only Konoe's words are important. And..." He trailed off, unsure.
"And?" Konoe asked gently, encouragingly.
"I... I would like to show you my home. I would like to show Kagari the person who matters most to me in this world."
Smiling, Konoe returned the embrace, admitting defeat. If this was what would make Asato happy, then he would defend that happiness with everything he had.
---
In quiet moments, she watched them. When they were too engrossed in each other to notice her curious eyes, she was observing them.
She saw how Asato hovered all around him, over him, so eager to please, hoping to learn and fulfill his lover's every wish. And she saw how Konoe responded, with a bright smile and brighter eyes, full of nothing but love and kindness. Or so it seemed. It worried her sometimes.
It worried her, because she knew how people responded to someone so hungry for affection and approval, and she knew that Asato would bear any ill-treatment with a smile, as he had always done in the past. Only this time, it was different because he was putting his whole heart on the line, loved that young man more than she had thought it was possible to love someone. More than she had ever loved anyone, that was for sure.
Movement up ahead pulled her from her thoughts, just in time to see Asato darting off into the undergrowth, leaving them behind. Konoe watched him go, before turning around to face her. "Asato has gone to scout out the area," he said. "He wants us to wait here."
Kagari blinked in confusion, flicking her ears back and forth, but picking up nothing that would have warranted such precautions. "That's unnecessary..."
"I know," he replied, before turning back in the direction Asato had left in.
Oh, of course. Of course.
She stepped to his side. They stood in silence for a while, until Konoe threw her a sideways glance. "You wanted to talk to me?"
Surprised, she just stared at him, wondering how he did that. How he always seemed so in tune with people, how he simply knew things before others had barely realized them themselves. And he was right this time, too. She did want to talk.
"Doesn't it bother you?" she asked after carefully choosing her words. "That he thinks you are in need of protection?"
Don't you resent him for it?
"That he thinks I am helpless, you mean," Konoe replied.
"No, I did not-"
He smiled at her, as soft and intangible as water. "He doesn't. He is just... trying to make up for what he believes to be his fault."
Kagari did not miss the quick glance towards his injured arm, and it occurred to her that she had never asked Asato for the details on that story, but if what Konoe was implying was true... "And you let him?" she asked, trying to suppress the bout of sudden anger that wanted to escape her.
You let him feel guilty for it?
The smile vanished from his lips, and his eyes grew hard. For a second, she wondered if he could read her very thoughts.
"No," he said decisively. And then, softer, "No, I would never do that. But you of all people should know how hard it is to convince him of certain things. All I can do is tell him that I love him, no matter what he does or thinks he has done, and wait for the day when he finally believes those words completely, in his heart." A small smile stole back onto his face, and he sighed dramatically. "Until then, I am willing to let myself be protected, if it makes him feel better about himself."
Kagari found that she couldn't reply to that. It seemed almost too good to be true, that those should be Konoe's motivations. That he would be such a gentle soul. Could Asato truly be so lucky? She wanted to know more about him. She wanted to ask him the questions that had been plaguing her ever since they had returned to Kira. For some reason, she thought that he would not resent her for asking.
The snapping of twigs interrupted her before she could voice her concerns, though, as Asato hurriedly re-emerged from the bushes. "I found red currants!" he announced, tail lashing excitedly.
"Really?" Konoe asked enthusiastically, immediately giving him his full attention.
"Mn! Come look!" And he disappeared back into the bushes.
"Sounds like we can make lots of jam," Konoe said, smiling almost apologetically.
"Konoe..."
Asato's head reappeared between the branches. "What are you doing? Hurry up, hurry up!"
"Oi, Asato! No pulling! Wah!"
And they were gone in a rustle of leaves.
Kagari remained standing there for a moment, listening to the echo of Asato's happy chattering and Konoe's loud, but not quite indignant protests. A couple of birds lifted off in the distance, twittering angrily at being disturbed. She reached out and parted the branches with one hand, catching the glint of sunlight against the green. Suddenly, she felt just a tiny bit foolish for having wanted to ask about devils and monsters and cut-off limbs.
Maybe, just maybe, those questions could wait for another day.
The underbrush soundlessly closed behind her.
---
"What do you want?"
She expected him to ask for toys or treats, like all little children were wont to do, but instead, he looked up at her with eyes too old and needy to belong to a child, and reached out with his small arms.
I want to be loved.
---
"You really wanted that?" Konoe asked, absent-mindedly arranging strands of Asato's hair in no particular order.
"Mhm."
Konoe smiled in the semi-darkness, teasing the rim of one of Asato's ears with the tip of his finger, until Asato flicked his ears and let out a muffled laugh.
"And now that you are loved, what do you want?"
Asato lifted himself up on his elbows, then, eyes bright and possessive and happy and hopeful, and dove down to kiss him, long and slow.
"I want..."
The rest got lost somewhere between the sheets.
---
She found Konoe in the small herb garden at the back of the house, surrounded by earth and tools, squatting down and trying to pull up a weed with his good hand. Suddenly, the soil gave, the weed came flying out, and he lost his balance, tumbling back and landing on his backside in the dirt. He lifted up the offending plant still in his hand and glared at it as if he really believed the weed had done it on purpose, and Kagari couldn't quite hold back her laughter.
"Oh, Kagari!" he said, cheeks flushing at being caught in such an undignified position, and let go of the plant, quickly clambering to his feet and dusting off his hand against his thigh. "Can I help you?"
Kagari reigned in her giggles at that, reminding herself about why she had come to see him. She didn't exactly like what she was going to do, but felt that she had to, if only for her own peace of mind. "I... well..." She paused and sighed. "How should I say this..."
Konoe came to stand beside her, wiping the sweat from his brow with the back of his hand, but giving her his undivided attention. "In my experience, it is often best to say something as you mean it."
"It's going to sound awkward," she sighed, but straightened her back all the same. "I've been meaning to ask you... what do you want from Asato?"
He gave her a sidelong glance, and then smiled widely. "You mean, what do I want with your son?"
It really sounded like she was giving a child away for marriage, she realized. But Konoe's words made a part of her stir, a part that she had always tried to push away because she had never felt entitled to those feelings. That part had always considered Asato her child. "Yes, with my son," she replied, and was grateful that he didn't comment on her reddening cheeks.
Konoe studied her for a minute, his eyes serious, but not offended at the question. "What do you think I want?"
"That is the thing. I don't know. I don't know what you want. But everybody wants something, don't they?" Embarrassment bubbled up inside her when she realized that she was seriously hoping he would deny her assumption, prove her wrong.
And it seemed Konoe knew she was hoping that, too. "I won't say that I don't want anything, or that what I want is small or insignificant or inconsequential, because I do, and it isn't. I want nothing less than the most important thing Asato has. I want his heart." He paused. "So, you see... I can't really do anything to ease your worries. I'm sorry."
Still, for some reason, she found that his words had done exactly that.
---
When Konoe came, it was always Asato who whispered, "Pleasepleasepleaseplease..." like a prayer.
It was Asato who tangled their tails and fit their bodies together like he was trying to melt into Konoe. It was Asato who pushed his head against Konoe's palm in the middle of doing the dishes, unmindful of dirty water and soap bubbles getting into his hair. And it was Asato who murmured his name when Konoe touched him while he was still more than half-asleep.
And these things made Konoe feel warmer inside than whatever the world thought was a sign of somebody's love, because they let him know that he had gotten his wish.
---
FIN
A/N:
- Gods, Kagari. I love her. She kicks so much ass, I really hope I didn't ruin her character. *grovels*
- I originally wanted to have two even sides to the story, with a little bit of Kagari in between. Figures the kitties would pwn me, though. XD
C&C is highly encouraged and appreciated.
<< Return to Lamento Index | Return to Fanfiction Index >>