[Lamento] Things Not Spoken
Title: Things Not Spoken
Fandom: Lamento - Beyond the Void
Pairings: Shui+Leaks, ShuixMei
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Mild angst. Slight AU (since when did Leaks ever meet Mei?).
Disclaimer: Nitro+Chiral owns it.
Notes: Giftfic for yountilla. Hope it cheers you up, dear! ♥
Many thanks to akuma_no_kage for her help. ♥
Things Not Spoken
/Who goes there?/
/Who walks between our trunks?/
/Scrambles over our roots?/
/The song-singing cat!/
/The life-giving cat!/
The steady background whispering of the trees had suddenly grown into agitated muttering, distracting Leaks from the scrolls spread out in front of him. He did not even have to listen closely to know what the excitement was all about-there was only one thing besides the rain to make the ancient forest so joyful, and even he could not help the happiness that bubbled up inside him, unbidden.
Shui was coming to visit.
Leaks rose from the chair in his study corner, walking over to the stove. The embers flared to life at a flick of his hand, as he took a small kettle from the cabinet.
Tea. Shui might be thirsty after the walk here.
He listened absent-mindedly as he poured the water into the kettle, the trees' murmuring more subdued, reporting to each other that Shui was making good progress, and seemed to be in high spirits.
/Oh? What's this?/
/What's this?/
/Another of the feline folk to visit? How strange!/
/How strange!/
The voices rose again, puzzlement at the presence of another cat, and although the trees' curious descriptions meant nothing to him, Leaks knew then that it could only be one person. He closed his eyes briefly, shutting out the green's whispering.
This is it. What you feared has finally come to pass.
Leaks supposed that he should not be surprised that Shui would go against his wishes-after all, this seemed to be the one defining characteristic of their relationship. Shui had wormed his way into his life against the front of coldness and disinterest he had put up, and ever since then, had become good at ignoring whatever protests Leaks might have had in regards to any given topic or activity.
So it was really nothing extraordinary that Shui had cheerfully ignored Leaks' less-than-happy responses whenever he spoke about bringing his wife along for a visit; Leaks had simply hoped, however feebly, that for once in his life, Shui would stop being so utterly convinced that he knew what was best for him.
But explaining to Shui just why he did not want to meet her, would, in fact, prefer to never hear another word about her again, was out of the question. Leaks was barely able explain it to himself, why he disliked that side of Shui so violently, the side that did not exist within this forest, the side that met people other than him, lived a life away from him, cared about someone other than him. He would have much liked to delude himself into thinking that this side did not exist, that he was for Shui what Shui was to him-the only one, enough-but Shui liked to remind him that this was not the case. And every day, every hour that he had had to listen to Shui extolling the virtues of his wife, his resentment towards that side had grown, and with it, his resentment towards the person that was so important to Shui.
It felt strange to know that Shui had done the same to his wife, had talked about him, Leaks, long enough and happily enough that she had begun to disregard the voices that called him a calamity, the harbinger of ruin, and would have liked to see him burn at the stake.
Leaks wondered if she had come to resent him as much as he had come to resent her.
Don't flatter yourself. You are nowhere near as much of a threat to her as she is to you, and you know it.
The thought stung.
He had no idea what Shui thought he was going to accomplish with this meeting. He had resigned himself to the fact that Shui liked to treat him like an abandoned animal in need of nursing and affection, had even grown to think that the incessant touching and grooming were not that objectionable, unless Shui seemed determined to get him to make an embarrassing noise. But this crazy attempt to include Leaks in his happy little family was just that; completely insane and bound to fail.
Leaks would have liked nothing better than to bar the door and pretend that he was not here. He had no interest in meeting Shui's wife, to be shown exactly how hopeless, how stupid he was to harbor feelings for a married man.
Oh, stop pining like a damsel in a romance play. You'll just have to deal with the situation, the way you've dealt with everything else. Bear the pain and it won't hurt so badly after a while. Who knows, one of these days, you might even manage to grow numb.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Leaks decided that he needed something to distract himself from the inevitable. Anything to smother the little voice that kept telling him how much easier his life would be if he had never met Shui.
----
At some point, he must have lost himself in the task of arranging his potion bottles and jars by main ingredient, date and effect, because he was startled into nearly dropping a flask of putrid dark liquid (belladonna, cycle 5, treating blindness caused by poison) when there was a knock on his door.
Leaks carefully put the bottle back on the shelf before brushing off his hands and slowly walking towards the entrance. He knew that this was quite ridiculous, since what was waiting for him on the other side would definitely still be there even if he responded slowly.
"Leaks!"
Upon opening the door, Shui very nearly smothered him with an attack that was half hug, half head-butt, leaving him staggering and trying to catch most of the man's weight. While he normally would have indulged Shui's affectionate rubs and nuzzles, he was now acutely conscious of the other person present, standing a few paces away and watching as Shui attempted to leave him with as little dignity as possible.
After a few moments, Shui seemed to realize that he was hugging someone who stood as stiff as a board, and slowly let go. He looked at Leaks questioningly, before turning around and jogging back to his wife, pulling her up to where Leaks was standing.
"You see that, Mei? If he starts acting like that, then we've come just in time," Shui was saying, his head bent conspiratorially towards his wife, but his voice loud enough so that Leaks could understand every word.
"Oh, you," the young woman replied in fond exasperation, but did not get any further since they had come to a stop in front of Leaks.
"So, uh," Shui said, clearing his throat and scratching his neck in vague embarrassment. "I guess traditional introductions are best, even though you kind of... well. Leaks, this is Mei; Mei, this is Leaks ...obviously."
"It's so nice to finally meet you," Mei said, smiling brightly. "Shui has told me many wonderful things about you."
Her eyes were a startling shade of amber, warm and clear, without even a hint of ill will in them. It was disconcerting how much she resembled Shui in this moment, who had been the same upon their first meeting, his eyes guileless and friendly.
Some of his shock must have shown on his face, because Mei gave a nervous chuckle, embarrassed at his direct stare.
"I told you he's in need of your special powers," Shui said, smiling serenely when Leaks subjected him to a dirty look. "We thought it would be best to kidnap you for a day of fun."
Mei clucked her tongue at him, before turning back to Leaks. "Nobody is kidnapping you," she said soothingly, "We just wanted to invite you along for a picnic. But... if you're busy..."
"Don't do that, Mei. If you give him an out, of course he'll say no," Shui warned, a dismayed expression on his face.
"But... he might be busy, and we were the ones who showed up unannounced..."
"Leaks is always busy," Shui said, waving his hand dismissively. "Now, you take the basket, and I'll bribe him into coming with us."
He had produced a large wicker basket from behind his back the way one might produce a secret weapon. Mei immediately snatched it from his hands, clutching it protectively to her chest.
"Bribery? My pies will not partake in your evil schemes!"
Leaks could only stare at the pair in ever-growing confusion as they continued to ignore him, bickering among themselves. He was fairly sure that they were still speaking his language, but he had no idea what they were saying. He had always avoided thinking about what Shui would look like together with his wife, what kind of person he would be then, but he had to admit that he had never expected either of them to be quite so... strange.
Shui gave up on attempting to persuade her to surrender the basket, and instead sidled over to Leaks, looking at him with big pleading eyes. "Leaks, come on. You'll get pie if you come with us. Delicious quim pie. Mei made it just for you. Slaved over it for hours!"
She shrugged, embarrassed to be the focus of Leaks' scrutiny once more. "Well, Shui said you never had good homemade desserts before, so... I just couldn't let that stand."
"You should have seen her," Shui teased. "There was no holding her back."
"An existence without pie is a joyless existence," Mei sniffed, petting the basket.
Leaks sighed inwardly. They sounded like they could go on like this for hours, and afterwards, Shui would beg and cajole until he was left with no choice but to accept his fate. It would be less painful to agree now, when it still looked like he had a choice, when he was not being subjected to that hopeful, soft-eyed gaze that made it seem like Shui's entire happiness depended on his agreement alone.
No need to look like a lovesick fool in front of his wife.
"...Fine."
Two pairs of eyes stared at him, blinking rapidly.
"What...?" Shui asked.
"I said, 'fine'," Leaks huffed, taking a step outside and pulling his door shut. Shui was smiling entirely too brightly at him, and he quickly averted his eyes. "Now let's go before I regret this."
"Wonderful," Mei agreed, beaming. "You can lead the way, then."
"To where?"
"To the perfect picnic place, of course."
Leaks frowned. "I wouldn't know. I've never done this… picnic thing."
It took a moment for the bewilderment on her face to be replaced with sympathy, and Leaks felt the irrational urge to swipe it off her face. He could not say for certain why he hated that look-because she was pitying him, or because it was the same look Shui usually wore whenever Leaks had to confess to never having done something. He was not sure if he wanted to examine it too closely.
And then the look was gone, replaced by a smile that had an edge of fierceness to it. "Oh well, just lead the way, then. I'll tell you when I've found what we're looking for."
With a slight sense of unreality, Leaks wondered what he had gotten himself into.
-----
Trivial things made Shui happy. A cup of hot tea to warm his hands, a sunlit spot on the porch, a monosyllabic growl in response to his endless stories and inexhaustible questions. Then, a smile would light on his face until he seemed to glow, not so much from without as from within, warmth and happiness and some unnamed emotion simply shining through. In the face of so much joy, Leaks could not help feeling tongue-tied and stupid, confused and frightened of what was answering within himself, a hunger more powerful than anything he had ever known. Perhaps that was why he had never tried to find out what would happen if he gave Shui a reason to be happy, a real reason, not something as meaningless as a steaming porcelain cup.
Now, Shui seemed positively radiant, smiling, laughing, intermittently talking in verse just because he could, and Mei was egging him on, responding to his antics with unabashed laughter.
Leaks remained stone-faced, betraying nothing of the turmoil in his mind. It hurt that he had to find out this way what it was like when Shui really was happy. It hurt because he knew he could never be what that girl was, would never be able to react the way she could. Shui needed this; Shui needed people who knew how to smile and laugh with him, needed love to be truly beautiful.
I would suffocate him.
He was torn from his musings when Mei suddenly dove around him to his other side, away from Shui.
"Help, he wants to kidnap my basket!" she yelped, pointing accusingly at Shui, who was affecting a look of wide-eyed innocence.
Leaks blinked.
...What?
"I've done nothing of the sort! I merely wanted to be a proper gentleman and carry my lady's burden."
"Hah! I know what you'd do to my pie if I gave you half a chance," Mei scoffed.
Shui's ears drooped. "Your pie? I thought it was our pie!"
"It's my pie and I get to decide who eats it. If I left it to you, poor Leaks would barely even get a piece." Her expression softened. "Don't worry. I love you even if you are greedy."
Smiling sheepishly, Shui reached up to scratch his neck, a gentler look than the one he had been wearing before showing in his eyes.
Leaks could not shake the feeling that this conversation was not really about pastries anymore, but before he could even begin to decipher what that look in Shui's eyes might be, it disappeared as if it had never been.
To his right, Mei shook her head, squaring her shoulders. "Still..." she continued, the gleam stealing back into her eyes. "...you won't get it. Leaks, I name you defender of the pie!"
Before Leaks could even think to protest, she had attached herself to his arm and was giving Shui a triumphant look.
Leaks glanced down at her uncertainly, wondering if shaking his arm to make her let go would make him look more ridiculous than he already did. "...What?"
He was beginning to hate the feeling of perpetual confusion associated with all things related to Shui.
----
The perfect place, according to Mei, was a sunlit glade among the trees, a small stream meandering through the grass on the far side. She went about spreading out the blanket and laying out the food, and refused to let Shui help her. Leaks was simply grateful that she had let go of his arm. He was still feeling as if he had lost touch with reality a little, the way one felt after having been dragged through a whirling tornado.
It left him flustered and a bit dizzy, but after spending the better part of the morning being lead around by Mei, he was no longer able to truly despise her. In his mind, Shui's wife had always been a person of devastating beauty and grace, but not this bubbly girl who had no qualms about dragging the harbinger of ruin around by his arm.
It made sense, though, didn't it? It made sense that Shui would choose such a warm, cheerful person to be with. It made him wonder what Shui had seen in him.
A light touch on his shoulder startled him out of his thoughts.
"Hey," Shui said gently, "you still with us?"
"...Yes," he said, shrugging off his hand.
Shui withdrew, his eyes uncertain for a moment, before he shook his head.
"Good. It's not healthy for you to think so much." He smiled. "And I'm selfish. I rather like you here, with me."
Leaks really would have preferred it if Shui had not been standing so close, or looking at him so warmly. It was words like these which confused him, smiles like this that made him imagine things he really was not entitled to.
"Hey, you two! The food's getting cold!" Mei called, waving at them from the blanket.
"You heard the lady, let's go," Shui said, breaking eye contact and hurrying to her side.
Leaks followed, albeit more slowly, trying to quiet the craving rearing its ugly head again.
------
Apparently, the main characteristics of pie were that it was warm, and very, very sweet.
It seemed fitting that Shui should like it so much, a dish that spoke of the comfort of a loving environment. Leaks did not know why he associated the pastry with something that was little more than an abstract notion in his head, but he had long ago learned that things related to Shui would awaken strange thoughts and urges within himself.
He found himself preferring the quim pie, its sweetness fleeting, the slightly sour sting of the fruit keeping him grounded. That, too, reminded him of Shui, but he was effectively kept from analyzing the thought by the man's continuous crazy antics.
"Your tongue's all blue, Mei!"
"Oh, shut up. Like yours is any better."
Laughter, and then Shui was peering at him, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. "Is your tongue blue, too, Leaks?"
"Hmph. That's none of your business."
"Leaks hasn't had any blueberry pie," Mei said, and Shui's ears drooped.
"Too bad."
Leaks could barely suppress the sigh that wanted to escape him. He had concluded a long time ago that Shui was certifiably insane, but lately, it was becoming more and more difficult to put up a front of indifference to it. It was almost too much, to have the Shui he was used to speak to him in ways that Leaks could not fully understand, look at him with eyes full of some powerful emotion he could not seem to identify. It was disconcerting because his traitorous heart lurched every time, hoping for something that simply was not there.
"Leaks, what's wrong?"
Shui was looking at him, the humor from mere minutes ago replaced by concern. Mei, too, was watching him, but he did not know how to interpret the look in her eyes. It was enough to make him wary.
"...Nothing."
"You're frowning again."
"Sorry," Leaks said, without any real feeling behind it.
Shui smiled. "Don't apologize. I just don't like it when you go drifting off like that. It means you're thinking scary thoughts."
Leaks did not reply.
"How about I sing something for you?" Shui suggested, pulling his lute into his lap. "Will that make you stay here?"
"...You can try."
This seemed to be enough for Shui, because he smiled more brightly and began plucking at the strings.
Soon, soft green-white tendrils of energy began twining around him, his powers rising almost unbidden as he sang, lost in the music. Mei had closed her eyes to listen better, and the forest seemed curiously silent, as if even the trees were straining invisible ears to hear the song. Leaks, for his part, sat very still, watching Shui and listening, allowing his voice to fill his mind.
It was strange, that the source of all his problems should also have the power to drive them away, untangling the chaos in his heart until there was nothing left but a mysterious, calm contentment.
------
As the day gave way into late afternoon, Mei began reluctantly gathering the used dishes and repacking the leftover food. She handed the pile of plates and bowls to Shui, who left to wash them in the nearby stream.
Leaks was still a little lost in the song, his mind drifting aimlessly without really touching upon anything important, so he was completely unprepared when Mei suddenly turned to him.
"Why are you so sad? He loves you very much."
For a moment, he could do nothing but stare, the abruptness of her words leaving him groping for an answer. "...Excuse me?"
There had to be some kind of mistake. There was no way she could not be talking about what he thought she was talking about.
Mei was looking at him earnestly, but there was no trace of scorn or anger in her eyes. Instead, she seemed almost sympathetic. "And you love him, don't you. Why are you trying so hard to kill that feeling?"
"I have no idea what you are talking about," he said stiffly, not liking the strangely knowing look in her eyes.
But Mei ignored his answer. "He would do wonders for you."
"Are you insane, woman?" he hissed, trying to keep his rising anger under control. "What the hell are you trying to do?!"
She laughed, short and sharp, reaching up to brush a strand of hair out of her face. "You know, I'm not really sure," she admitted. "But... you remind me so much of myself. The way I used to be."
"...What?!"
"Did you know," Mei said, turning to watch Shui, who was kneeling at the stream in the distance, oblivious to their conversation, "that we did not marry by choice?"
Leaks blinked. From Shui's stories, he had never assumed anything less than mutual love.
Noticing his bewildered stare, Mei nodded. "Oh yes. Shui was very powerful, and popular with the clergy. But he was too free-spirited. So they thought they could bind him in gratitude, by giving him a wealthy, well-bred wife. ...Me."
She paused, seemingly lost in the memory. "I was barely even grown-up, then. A puppet of my father. He told me to marry, so of course I had to obey. I still remember the day when they presented me to Shui, all prettied up like a doll. But underneath it all, I was scared. I was so scared of being bound in a life of servitude, to a man I had never even met before. I thought I would be... forever lonely."
Then, she smiled. "I never expected... this kind of warmth. He loved me even though I was meant to be a token. He laughed and sang for me and looked at me like he was happy to have me. He helped me find my smile." She paused again, resting a hand above her heart. "It's easy to fall in love with him, isn't it."
Leaks stayed silent, at a loss for words.
Mei leaned forward, forcing him to look her in the eye. "Just... promise me you'll think about what you're doing. I wouldn't want anyone to choose this kind of loneliness for themselves. You could be so happy. Shui's so good at making people happy. You just have to let him."
Leaks still didn't find it in himself to reply, and was grateful when Mei left it at that. There were only so many revelations he could handle at a time.
-------
The walk back was quiet, a stark contrast to the way they had set out.
Leaks actually preferred the silence to the noise, as he had much to think about. He still had no idea what had gotten into the girl. That Shui's wife, of all people, should suggest such a thing, should practically give him permission to... what?
She made it sound like he would want...
He had no idea what to make of it, and aside from the absolute certainty that Mei was even more insane than Shui, he was no longer sure about anything. And of course, he also had no idea what to do about it.
Finally, Shui took a step closer to him, interrupting his attempts at making sense of the situation.
"I hope we didn't scar you too badly," he said, and although the words were meant to tease, his tone was kind.
Leaks took a moment to consider his answer. "It was... not bad," he said finally, and found to his surprise that he meant it.
Shui's ears perked. "Really? You mean we can do this again sometime?"
"I suppose..."
There was that brilliant, happy smile again, like he had just given Shui the world with a single answer.
Leaks almost averted his gaze out of habit, but found that he did not really want to.
She said it was my decision. If I want...
And so, he kept looking, still confused and indecisive, but no longer truly afraid of what his own eyes might betray.
- FIN -
-----
A/N: I apologize deeply if this is not what you were hoping for. Like I said, I was trying for something a little more hopeful. I don't deal well with continuous angst, and a cheer-up fic really shouldn't be angsty, in my mind.
I also admit that the Shui presented here differs somewhat from the regretful, ethereal-seeming ghost we see in the game. But that's because I think the real Shui would be a cheerful, happy person. He just strikes me as someone to be able to bring happiness to others just by being himself.
Likewise, there is nothing I can base Mei's characterization on. We don't even know her real name, so I just stuck with the name I made up for my first fic. Coincidentally, a friend told me the word means "beautiful" in Chinese. Talk about a lucky pick. XD Anyway, about the only thing we know about her is that she and Konoe have the same eyes. But I think she, too, would have been a cheerful, strong person with a serious and observant side to her.
And last but not least, I have the fanbrats to thank for the idea that Shui and Mei's marriage was an arranged one. They were all "OMG SHUI LIEK TOTALLY LIKES LEAKS HE WAS FORCED TO MARRY HIS WIFE BLAHBLAH", in order to justify Shui/Leaks. From the game, though, it's obvious that Shui must have loved her deeply, too. So basically, this is me getting back at the fanbrats. XD Sorry about that.
<< Return to Lamento Index | Return to Fanfiction Index >>
Fandom: Lamento - Beyond the Void
Pairings: Shui+Leaks, ShuixMei
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Mild angst. Slight AU (since when did Leaks ever meet Mei?).
Disclaimer: Nitro+Chiral owns it.
Notes: Giftfic for yountilla. Hope it cheers you up, dear! ♥
Many thanks to akuma_no_kage for her help. ♥
Things Not Spoken
/Who goes there?/
/Who walks between our trunks?/
/Scrambles over our roots?/
/The song-singing cat!/
/The life-giving cat!/
The steady background whispering of the trees had suddenly grown into agitated muttering, distracting Leaks from the scrolls spread out in front of him. He did not even have to listen closely to know what the excitement was all about-there was only one thing besides the rain to make the ancient forest so joyful, and even he could not help the happiness that bubbled up inside him, unbidden.
Shui was coming to visit.
Leaks rose from the chair in his study corner, walking over to the stove. The embers flared to life at a flick of his hand, as he took a small kettle from the cabinet.
Tea. Shui might be thirsty after the walk here.
He listened absent-mindedly as he poured the water into the kettle, the trees' murmuring more subdued, reporting to each other that Shui was making good progress, and seemed to be in high spirits.
/Oh? What's this?/
/What's this?/
/Another of the feline folk to visit? How strange!/
/How strange!/
The voices rose again, puzzlement at the presence of another cat, and although the trees' curious descriptions meant nothing to him, Leaks knew then that it could only be one person. He closed his eyes briefly, shutting out the green's whispering.
This is it. What you feared has finally come to pass.
Leaks supposed that he should not be surprised that Shui would go against his wishes-after all, this seemed to be the one defining characteristic of their relationship. Shui had wormed his way into his life against the front of coldness and disinterest he had put up, and ever since then, had become good at ignoring whatever protests Leaks might have had in regards to any given topic or activity.
So it was really nothing extraordinary that Shui had cheerfully ignored Leaks' less-than-happy responses whenever he spoke about bringing his wife along for a visit; Leaks had simply hoped, however feebly, that for once in his life, Shui would stop being so utterly convinced that he knew what was best for him.
But explaining to Shui just why he did not want to meet her, would, in fact, prefer to never hear another word about her again, was out of the question. Leaks was barely able explain it to himself, why he disliked that side of Shui so violently, the side that did not exist within this forest, the side that met people other than him, lived a life away from him, cared about someone other than him. He would have much liked to delude himself into thinking that this side did not exist, that he was for Shui what Shui was to him-the only one, enough-but Shui liked to remind him that this was not the case. And every day, every hour that he had had to listen to Shui extolling the virtues of his wife, his resentment towards that side had grown, and with it, his resentment towards the person that was so important to Shui.
It felt strange to know that Shui had done the same to his wife, had talked about him, Leaks, long enough and happily enough that she had begun to disregard the voices that called him a calamity, the harbinger of ruin, and would have liked to see him burn at the stake.
Leaks wondered if she had come to resent him as much as he had come to resent her.
Don't flatter yourself. You are nowhere near as much of a threat to her as she is to you, and you know it.
The thought stung.
He had no idea what Shui thought he was going to accomplish with this meeting. He had resigned himself to the fact that Shui liked to treat him like an abandoned animal in need of nursing and affection, had even grown to think that the incessant touching and grooming were not that objectionable, unless Shui seemed determined to get him to make an embarrassing noise. But this crazy attempt to include Leaks in his happy little family was just that; completely insane and bound to fail.
Leaks would have liked nothing better than to bar the door and pretend that he was not here. He had no interest in meeting Shui's wife, to be shown exactly how hopeless, how stupid he was to harbor feelings for a married man.
Oh, stop pining like a damsel in a romance play. You'll just have to deal with the situation, the way you've dealt with everything else. Bear the pain and it won't hurt so badly after a while. Who knows, one of these days, you might even manage to grow numb.
Pinching the bridge of his nose, Leaks decided that he needed something to distract himself from the inevitable. Anything to smother the little voice that kept telling him how much easier his life would be if he had never met Shui.
----
At some point, he must have lost himself in the task of arranging his potion bottles and jars by main ingredient, date and effect, because he was startled into nearly dropping a flask of putrid dark liquid (belladonna, cycle 5, treating blindness caused by poison) when there was a knock on his door.
Leaks carefully put the bottle back on the shelf before brushing off his hands and slowly walking towards the entrance. He knew that this was quite ridiculous, since what was waiting for him on the other side would definitely still be there even if he responded slowly.
"Leaks!"
Upon opening the door, Shui very nearly smothered him with an attack that was half hug, half head-butt, leaving him staggering and trying to catch most of the man's weight. While he normally would have indulged Shui's affectionate rubs and nuzzles, he was now acutely conscious of the other person present, standing a few paces away and watching as Shui attempted to leave him with as little dignity as possible.
After a few moments, Shui seemed to realize that he was hugging someone who stood as stiff as a board, and slowly let go. He looked at Leaks questioningly, before turning around and jogging back to his wife, pulling her up to where Leaks was standing.
"You see that, Mei? If he starts acting like that, then we've come just in time," Shui was saying, his head bent conspiratorially towards his wife, but his voice loud enough so that Leaks could understand every word.
"Oh, you," the young woman replied in fond exasperation, but did not get any further since they had come to a stop in front of Leaks.
"So, uh," Shui said, clearing his throat and scratching his neck in vague embarrassment. "I guess traditional introductions are best, even though you kind of... well. Leaks, this is Mei; Mei, this is Leaks ...obviously."
"It's so nice to finally meet you," Mei said, smiling brightly. "Shui has told me many wonderful things about you."
Her eyes were a startling shade of amber, warm and clear, without even a hint of ill will in them. It was disconcerting how much she resembled Shui in this moment, who had been the same upon their first meeting, his eyes guileless and friendly.
Some of his shock must have shown on his face, because Mei gave a nervous chuckle, embarrassed at his direct stare.
"I told you he's in need of your special powers," Shui said, smiling serenely when Leaks subjected him to a dirty look. "We thought it would be best to kidnap you for a day of fun."
Mei clucked her tongue at him, before turning back to Leaks. "Nobody is kidnapping you," she said soothingly, "We just wanted to invite you along for a picnic. But... if you're busy..."
"Don't do that, Mei. If you give him an out, of course he'll say no," Shui warned, a dismayed expression on his face.
"But... he might be busy, and we were the ones who showed up unannounced..."
"Leaks is always busy," Shui said, waving his hand dismissively. "Now, you take the basket, and I'll bribe him into coming with us."
He had produced a large wicker basket from behind his back the way one might produce a secret weapon. Mei immediately snatched it from his hands, clutching it protectively to her chest.
"Bribery? My pies will not partake in your evil schemes!"
Leaks could only stare at the pair in ever-growing confusion as they continued to ignore him, bickering among themselves. He was fairly sure that they were still speaking his language, but he had no idea what they were saying. He had always avoided thinking about what Shui would look like together with his wife, what kind of person he would be then, but he had to admit that he had never expected either of them to be quite so... strange.
Shui gave up on attempting to persuade her to surrender the basket, and instead sidled over to Leaks, looking at him with big pleading eyes. "Leaks, come on. You'll get pie if you come with us. Delicious quim pie. Mei made it just for you. Slaved over it for hours!"
She shrugged, embarrassed to be the focus of Leaks' scrutiny once more. "Well, Shui said you never had good homemade desserts before, so... I just couldn't let that stand."
"You should have seen her," Shui teased. "There was no holding her back."
"An existence without pie is a joyless existence," Mei sniffed, petting the basket.
Leaks sighed inwardly. They sounded like they could go on like this for hours, and afterwards, Shui would beg and cajole until he was left with no choice but to accept his fate. It would be less painful to agree now, when it still looked like he had a choice, when he was not being subjected to that hopeful, soft-eyed gaze that made it seem like Shui's entire happiness depended on his agreement alone.
No need to look like a lovesick fool in front of his wife.
"...Fine."
Two pairs of eyes stared at him, blinking rapidly.
"What...?" Shui asked.
"I said, 'fine'," Leaks huffed, taking a step outside and pulling his door shut. Shui was smiling entirely too brightly at him, and he quickly averted his eyes. "Now let's go before I regret this."
"Wonderful," Mei agreed, beaming. "You can lead the way, then."
"To where?"
"To the perfect picnic place, of course."
Leaks frowned. "I wouldn't know. I've never done this… picnic thing."
It took a moment for the bewilderment on her face to be replaced with sympathy, and Leaks felt the irrational urge to swipe it off her face. He could not say for certain why he hated that look-because she was pitying him, or because it was the same look Shui usually wore whenever Leaks had to confess to never having done something. He was not sure if he wanted to examine it too closely.
And then the look was gone, replaced by a smile that had an edge of fierceness to it. "Oh well, just lead the way, then. I'll tell you when I've found what we're looking for."
With a slight sense of unreality, Leaks wondered what he had gotten himself into.
-----
Trivial things made Shui happy. A cup of hot tea to warm his hands, a sunlit spot on the porch, a monosyllabic growl in response to his endless stories and inexhaustible questions. Then, a smile would light on his face until he seemed to glow, not so much from without as from within, warmth and happiness and some unnamed emotion simply shining through. In the face of so much joy, Leaks could not help feeling tongue-tied and stupid, confused and frightened of what was answering within himself, a hunger more powerful than anything he had ever known. Perhaps that was why he had never tried to find out what would happen if he gave Shui a reason to be happy, a real reason, not something as meaningless as a steaming porcelain cup.
Now, Shui seemed positively radiant, smiling, laughing, intermittently talking in verse just because he could, and Mei was egging him on, responding to his antics with unabashed laughter.
Leaks remained stone-faced, betraying nothing of the turmoil in his mind. It hurt that he had to find out this way what it was like when Shui really was happy. It hurt because he knew he could never be what that girl was, would never be able to react the way she could. Shui needed this; Shui needed people who knew how to smile and laugh with him, needed love to be truly beautiful.
I would suffocate him.
He was torn from his musings when Mei suddenly dove around him to his other side, away from Shui.
"Help, he wants to kidnap my basket!" she yelped, pointing accusingly at Shui, who was affecting a look of wide-eyed innocence.
Leaks blinked.
...What?
"I've done nothing of the sort! I merely wanted to be a proper gentleman and carry my lady's burden."
"Hah! I know what you'd do to my pie if I gave you half a chance," Mei scoffed.
Shui's ears drooped. "Your pie? I thought it was our pie!"
"It's my pie and I get to decide who eats it. If I left it to you, poor Leaks would barely even get a piece." Her expression softened. "Don't worry. I love you even if you are greedy."
Smiling sheepishly, Shui reached up to scratch his neck, a gentler look than the one he had been wearing before showing in his eyes.
Leaks could not shake the feeling that this conversation was not really about pastries anymore, but before he could even begin to decipher what that look in Shui's eyes might be, it disappeared as if it had never been.
To his right, Mei shook her head, squaring her shoulders. "Still..." she continued, the gleam stealing back into her eyes. "...you won't get it. Leaks, I name you defender of the pie!"
Before Leaks could even think to protest, she had attached herself to his arm and was giving Shui a triumphant look.
Leaks glanced down at her uncertainly, wondering if shaking his arm to make her let go would make him look more ridiculous than he already did. "...What?"
He was beginning to hate the feeling of perpetual confusion associated with all things related to Shui.
----
The perfect place, according to Mei, was a sunlit glade among the trees, a small stream meandering through the grass on the far side. She went about spreading out the blanket and laying out the food, and refused to let Shui help her. Leaks was simply grateful that she had let go of his arm. He was still feeling as if he had lost touch with reality a little, the way one felt after having been dragged through a whirling tornado.
It left him flustered and a bit dizzy, but after spending the better part of the morning being lead around by Mei, he was no longer able to truly despise her. In his mind, Shui's wife had always been a person of devastating beauty and grace, but not this bubbly girl who had no qualms about dragging the harbinger of ruin around by his arm.
It made sense, though, didn't it? It made sense that Shui would choose such a warm, cheerful person to be with. It made him wonder what Shui had seen in him.
A light touch on his shoulder startled him out of his thoughts.
"Hey," Shui said gently, "you still with us?"
"...Yes," he said, shrugging off his hand.
Shui withdrew, his eyes uncertain for a moment, before he shook his head.
"Good. It's not healthy for you to think so much." He smiled. "And I'm selfish. I rather like you here, with me."
Leaks really would have preferred it if Shui had not been standing so close, or looking at him so warmly. It was words like these which confused him, smiles like this that made him imagine things he really was not entitled to.
"Hey, you two! The food's getting cold!" Mei called, waving at them from the blanket.
"You heard the lady, let's go," Shui said, breaking eye contact and hurrying to her side.
Leaks followed, albeit more slowly, trying to quiet the craving rearing its ugly head again.
------
Apparently, the main characteristics of pie were that it was warm, and very, very sweet.
It seemed fitting that Shui should like it so much, a dish that spoke of the comfort of a loving environment. Leaks did not know why he associated the pastry with something that was little more than an abstract notion in his head, but he had long ago learned that things related to Shui would awaken strange thoughts and urges within himself.
He found himself preferring the quim pie, its sweetness fleeting, the slightly sour sting of the fruit keeping him grounded. That, too, reminded him of Shui, but he was effectively kept from analyzing the thought by the man's continuous crazy antics.
"Your tongue's all blue, Mei!"
"Oh, shut up. Like yours is any better."
Laughter, and then Shui was peering at him, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. "Is your tongue blue, too, Leaks?"
"Hmph. That's none of your business."
"Leaks hasn't had any blueberry pie," Mei said, and Shui's ears drooped.
"Too bad."
Leaks could barely suppress the sigh that wanted to escape him. He had concluded a long time ago that Shui was certifiably insane, but lately, it was becoming more and more difficult to put up a front of indifference to it. It was almost too much, to have the Shui he was used to speak to him in ways that Leaks could not fully understand, look at him with eyes full of some powerful emotion he could not seem to identify. It was disconcerting because his traitorous heart lurched every time, hoping for something that simply was not there.
"Leaks, what's wrong?"
Shui was looking at him, the humor from mere minutes ago replaced by concern. Mei, too, was watching him, but he did not know how to interpret the look in her eyes. It was enough to make him wary.
"...Nothing."
"You're frowning again."
"Sorry," Leaks said, without any real feeling behind it.
Shui smiled. "Don't apologize. I just don't like it when you go drifting off like that. It means you're thinking scary thoughts."
Leaks did not reply.
"How about I sing something for you?" Shui suggested, pulling his lute into his lap. "Will that make you stay here?"
"...You can try."
This seemed to be enough for Shui, because he smiled more brightly and began plucking at the strings.
Soon, soft green-white tendrils of energy began twining around him, his powers rising almost unbidden as he sang, lost in the music. Mei had closed her eyes to listen better, and the forest seemed curiously silent, as if even the trees were straining invisible ears to hear the song. Leaks, for his part, sat very still, watching Shui and listening, allowing his voice to fill his mind.
It was strange, that the source of all his problems should also have the power to drive them away, untangling the chaos in his heart until there was nothing left but a mysterious, calm contentment.
------
As the day gave way into late afternoon, Mei began reluctantly gathering the used dishes and repacking the leftover food. She handed the pile of plates and bowls to Shui, who left to wash them in the nearby stream.
Leaks was still a little lost in the song, his mind drifting aimlessly without really touching upon anything important, so he was completely unprepared when Mei suddenly turned to him.
"Why are you so sad? He loves you very much."
For a moment, he could do nothing but stare, the abruptness of her words leaving him groping for an answer. "...Excuse me?"
There had to be some kind of mistake. There was no way she could not be talking about what he thought she was talking about.
Mei was looking at him earnestly, but there was no trace of scorn or anger in her eyes. Instead, she seemed almost sympathetic. "And you love him, don't you. Why are you trying so hard to kill that feeling?"
"I have no idea what you are talking about," he said stiffly, not liking the strangely knowing look in her eyes.
But Mei ignored his answer. "He would do wonders for you."
"Are you insane, woman?" he hissed, trying to keep his rising anger under control. "What the hell are you trying to do?!"
She laughed, short and sharp, reaching up to brush a strand of hair out of her face. "You know, I'm not really sure," she admitted. "But... you remind me so much of myself. The way I used to be."
"...What?!"
"Did you know," Mei said, turning to watch Shui, who was kneeling at the stream in the distance, oblivious to their conversation, "that we did not marry by choice?"
Leaks blinked. From Shui's stories, he had never assumed anything less than mutual love.
Noticing his bewildered stare, Mei nodded. "Oh yes. Shui was very powerful, and popular with the clergy. But he was too free-spirited. So they thought they could bind him in gratitude, by giving him a wealthy, well-bred wife. ...Me."
She paused, seemingly lost in the memory. "I was barely even grown-up, then. A puppet of my father. He told me to marry, so of course I had to obey. I still remember the day when they presented me to Shui, all prettied up like a doll. But underneath it all, I was scared. I was so scared of being bound in a life of servitude, to a man I had never even met before. I thought I would be... forever lonely."
Then, she smiled. "I never expected... this kind of warmth. He loved me even though I was meant to be a token. He laughed and sang for me and looked at me like he was happy to have me. He helped me find my smile." She paused again, resting a hand above her heart. "It's easy to fall in love with him, isn't it."
Leaks stayed silent, at a loss for words.
Mei leaned forward, forcing him to look her in the eye. "Just... promise me you'll think about what you're doing. I wouldn't want anyone to choose this kind of loneliness for themselves. You could be so happy. Shui's so good at making people happy. You just have to let him."
Leaks still didn't find it in himself to reply, and was grateful when Mei left it at that. There were only so many revelations he could handle at a time.
-------
The walk back was quiet, a stark contrast to the way they had set out.
Leaks actually preferred the silence to the noise, as he had much to think about. He still had no idea what had gotten into the girl. That Shui's wife, of all people, should suggest such a thing, should practically give him permission to... what?
She made it sound like he would want...
He had no idea what to make of it, and aside from the absolute certainty that Mei was even more insane than Shui, he was no longer sure about anything. And of course, he also had no idea what to do about it.
Finally, Shui took a step closer to him, interrupting his attempts at making sense of the situation.
"I hope we didn't scar you too badly," he said, and although the words were meant to tease, his tone was kind.
Leaks took a moment to consider his answer. "It was... not bad," he said finally, and found to his surprise that he meant it.
Shui's ears perked. "Really? You mean we can do this again sometime?"
"I suppose..."
There was that brilliant, happy smile again, like he had just given Shui the world with a single answer.
Leaks almost averted his gaze out of habit, but found that he did not really want to.
She said it was my decision. If I want...
And so, he kept looking, still confused and indecisive, but no longer truly afraid of what his own eyes might betray.
- FIN -
-----
A/N: I apologize deeply if this is not what you were hoping for. Like I said, I was trying for something a little more hopeful. I don't deal well with continuous angst, and a cheer-up fic really shouldn't be angsty, in my mind.
I also admit that the Shui presented here differs somewhat from the regretful, ethereal-seeming ghost we see in the game. But that's because I think the real Shui would be a cheerful, happy person. He just strikes me as someone to be able to bring happiness to others just by being himself.
Likewise, there is nothing I can base Mei's characterization on. We don't even know her real name, so I just stuck with the name I made up for my first fic. Coincidentally, a friend told me the word means "beautiful" in Chinese. Talk about a lucky pick. XD Anyway, about the only thing we know about her is that she and Konoe have the same eyes. But I think she, too, would have been a cheerful, strong person with a serious and observant side to her.
And last but not least, I have the fanbrats to thank for the idea that Shui and Mei's marriage was an arranged one. They were all "OMG SHUI LIEK TOTALLY LIKES LEAKS HE WAS FORCED TO MARRY HIS WIFE BLAHBLAH", in order to justify Shui/Leaks. From the game, though, it's obvious that Shui must have loved her deeply, too. So basically, this is me getting back at the fanbrats. XD Sorry about that.
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