[Lamento] Hidden
Title: Hidden
Fandom: Lamento - Beyond the Void
Pairing: Rai+Konoe (I threatened to do this, didn't I?)
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Nitro+Chiral owns them, and I'm quite content with that. XD
Notes: Set after the good end on Rai's route. Still, no spoilers. Promise.
Hidden
The words are hardly spoken between them, and if they are, it is Konoe who says them. Leans over and whispers them in his ear, too softly for even the wind to hear, as if they are the greatest secret on earth.
And maybe they are. What does he know about love, after all?
Rai is aware that he should say them in return, knows - if only vaguely - that this is the custom, but can't quite bring himself to do so. He knows it would make Konoe happy to hear them, even if he doesn't say so, never demands for them to be returned. Lately, it has been harder to stay quiet when he hears Konoe's quiet confessions; the words seem to want to slip out of his mouth almost like a reflex, yet he bites them back.
He is afraid what they will mean, when he says them. He fears they will make him a liar.
How can he be sure that it is love which he feels, when he has never felt it before? Oh, he is keenly aware that he has come to need Konoe, wants to possess him with something like obsession, desires him with something close to desperation, and those feelings are familiar, something he can accept or despise, but nevertheless something he can identify.
Sometimes, Rai thinks he is incapable of feeling love at all, wonders if it is something he simply lacks, whether due to his own fault or circumstance, like a person can be missing an arm, or a tail... or an eye.
The missing eye is a hindrance in battle, but he has learned to compensate. He wonders if there is any way to compensate for missing love.
He suspects there isn't, and it makes him feel guilty, to take and take and take, and never give anything back. Once upon a time, he used to not care about it, used to take what he wanted and feel better to have it, but now... Now everything is different.
A touch at the back of his neck pulls him from his musings, as fingers thread themselves into his hair and lightly rub at the skin beneath. Underneath him, Konoe shifts, stretching up a bit, and then warm breath is hitting his ear, and Rai wills himself not to twitch at the ticklish sensation, because he realizes what is about to happen.
"I love you." Whispered in his ear, hardly louder than a breath.
"I..." He catches himself, swallows the words. He doesn't want them to be a lie.
The fingers wander up the back of his head, nails scratching slightly, leaving pleasantly tingling trails in their wake. Rai risks a glance at Konoe's face, searches for any signs of distress his aborted answer has caused, but finds instead a pair of warm orange eyes watching him avidly, and a small, knowing smile.
"I..." He is not good with apologies, either, but at least he knows that he means this one.
"Silly Rai," Konoe says flippantly, and Rai can't quite help the affronted noise that escapes him at being called silly, of all things. Konoe chuckles softly at his offense, but only for a moment, before something shifts behind his eyes and turns them darker, serious and ancient.
"Have a little more faith in your heart, Rai. I do."
----
A/N: Whee, gratuitious amounts of sap. Mes excuses. *bows*
I had to go by Rai's expressions and tone of voice alone, so that was... quite possibly the hardest thing I've ever written.
<< Return to Lamento Index | Return to Fanfiction Index >>
Fandom: Lamento - Beyond the Void
Pairing: Rai+Konoe (I threatened to do this, didn't I?)
Rating: G
Disclaimer: Nitro+Chiral owns them, and I'm quite content with that. XD
Notes: Set after the good end on Rai's route. Still, no spoilers. Promise.
Hidden
The words are hardly spoken between them, and if they are, it is Konoe who says them. Leans over and whispers them in his ear, too softly for even the wind to hear, as if they are the greatest secret on earth.
And maybe they are. What does he know about love, after all?
Rai is aware that he should say them in return, knows - if only vaguely - that this is the custom, but can't quite bring himself to do so. He knows it would make Konoe happy to hear them, even if he doesn't say so, never demands for them to be returned. Lately, it has been harder to stay quiet when he hears Konoe's quiet confessions; the words seem to want to slip out of his mouth almost like a reflex, yet he bites them back.
He is afraid what they will mean, when he says them. He fears they will make him a liar.
How can he be sure that it is love which he feels, when he has never felt it before? Oh, he is keenly aware that he has come to need Konoe, wants to possess him with something like obsession, desires him with something close to desperation, and those feelings are familiar, something he can accept or despise, but nevertheless something he can identify.
Sometimes, Rai thinks he is incapable of feeling love at all, wonders if it is something he simply lacks, whether due to his own fault or circumstance, like a person can be missing an arm, or a tail... or an eye.
The missing eye is a hindrance in battle, but he has learned to compensate. He wonders if there is any way to compensate for missing love.
He suspects there isn't, and it makes him feel guilty, to take and take and take, and never give anything back. Once upon a time, he used to not care about it, used to take what he wanted and feel better to have it, but now... Now everything is different.
A touch at the back of his neck pulls him from his musings, as fingers thread themselves into his hair and lightly rub at the skin beneath. Underneath him, Konoe shifts, stretching up a bit, and then warm breath is hitting his ear, and Rai wills himself not to twitch at the ticklish sensation, because he realizes what is about to happen.
"I love you." Whispered in his ear, hardly louder than a breath.
"I..." He catches himself, swallows the words. He doesn't want them to be a lie.
The fingers wander up the back of his head, nails scratching slightly, leaving pleasantly tingling trails in their wake. Rai risks a glance at Konoe's face, searches for any signs of distress his aborted answer has caused, but finds instead a pair of warm orange eyes watching him avidly, and a small, knowing smile.
"I..." He is not good with apologies, either, but at least he knows that he means this one.
"Silly Rai," Konoe says flippantly, and Rai can't quite help the affronted noise that escapes him at being called silly, of all things. Konoe chuckles softly at his offense, but only for a moment, before something shifts behind his eyes and turns them darker, serious and ancient.
"Have a little more faith in your heart, Rai. I do."
----
A/N: Whee, gratuitious amounts of sap. Mes excuses. *bows*
I had to go by Rai's expressions and tone of voice alone, so that was... quite possibly the hardest thing I've ever written.
<< Return to Lamento Index | Return to Fanfiction Index >>