[Lamento] 50 Sentences for Rai/Konoe
Title: 50 Sentences for RaixKonoe
Fandom: Lamento - Beyond the Void
Pairing: RaiKono (duh XD)
Rating: R
Warnings: Mentions of sex, blood, violence. All good stuff.
Notes: Many many thanks to my lovely betas! You are awesome! ♥
1 - Motion
Rai grinned as their swords clashed, Konoe meeting him thrust for slash, their dance becoming faster and faster; although Konoe was playing on the defensive side, once he got caught up in the heat of the moment, he was truly a sight to behold-skin gleaming with sweat, eyes blazing with defiance, breathing hard yet refusing to be cowed; Rai made no effort to smother the bolt of arousal that ran through him at that-victory would be hard-bought, and very, very sweet.
2 - Cool
The sweltering summer heat prevailed even through the night, and made the sheets stick uncomfortably to their sweat-soaked bodies; Rai disliked heat with a passion and had gone so far as to kick their already-thin blanket off the bed in frustration, yet found himself unwilling to let go of Konoe's sleeping form, not even long enough to cool off.
3 - Young
From time to time, Konoe would become quiet, listening to something Rai could not hear, watching something Rai could not see, and his eyes would be old, so old and filled with the pain from a lifetime ago; Rai did not like that ancient gaze, but did not know how to make it disappear, so all he could do was hold on to him, until those old eyes became young again.
4 - Last
His most shameful secret was that for the longest time, he had not expected them to last, had doubted Konoe's sincerity, loyalty and strength as much as he had wanted to believe in them, whereas Konoe had not doubted him for even a second.
5 - Wrong
Sighing loudly, Konoe scanned the crowd for any sign of a familiar white head poking out of the throng, or any indication of where exactly he was-he hadn't looked for only a second, and they had already gotten separated, he could have sworn Rai had entered that alley, but that had been, what, three turns ago? four?-trying to fight down the rising panic (stupidstupidstupid); suddenly, a hand roughly gripped his arm and yanked him around to face a rather annoyed Rai, who growled, "Stupid cat," and leaned forward to nip reproachfully at his ear; Konoe felt too relieved to even get angry at the insult, and swiftly linked their hands together as Rai steered them back towards the main street.
6 - Gentle
Konoe would always reach out to him, quick hands and sly lips catching him before he could withdraw, and their touch surprised him anew every time, mostly because he was still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that someone would want to be gentle with him.
7 - One
In Rai's mind, there was little that could compare to this, hands trembling with impatience as he fumbled with the buckles, Konoe kissing his neck and batting his hands away to help; pushing him down on the bed and catching the look in his eyes-want you, now-before rolling over on his hands and knees, offering himself; grasping his hips with both hands and pushing in-heat, so much heat-and losing himself in the rhythm of their bodies, the overwhelming feeling of being one.
8 - Thousand
Lying here like this, trying to catch his breath and slowly coming down from the high, Konoe realized that there were probably a thousand things he wanted to say, from confessions to observations to wishes, but every time he tried to voice even a single one of them, Rai lightly tweaked his ear and told him to go to sleep; so, in the end, he gave up and let the thoughts go one after another, until there was nothing left except for that feeling of sleepy, bone-deep contentment.
9 - King
He did not realize how nervous he had been about his first job until long after the fight, after they had reported to their client and collected the reward, when relief flooded him like a wave; then Rai pulled him against his chest with a wide, pleased grin, murmuring in his ear that he had done good, real good, and he could not help but feel like he could take on the world.
10 - Learn
No matter how much he might have liked to know, Konoe did not prod Rai for his secrets, and instead contented himself with learning the intricacies of the heart that had been entrusted to him.
11 - Blur
He should have known something was wrong when their attackers suddenly fell back-a thin whistling sound, something small and gleaming missing his leg by a fraction of an inch, and a cat with a feral grin appearing on the branches overhead, lifting a blowpipe to her lips; he knew the darts would not miss a second time, knew it even as he ran to try and avoid them-he never saw Konoe move, only heard the dull "thwack" of the striking darts, and when he saw his beloved sanga go down in his stead, his vision was suddenly plunged into red.
12 - Wait
He spent the better half of the next week keeping watch on Konoe's bedside, dabbing the sweat from Konoe's face and chest as he fought the poison-induced fever-the task was futile and mind-numbing, but it kept Rai from tearing his hair out in frustration at his own helplessness; he still could not remember what exactly had happened, only that, after the red haze had cleared, he had been standing in a field of blood, cradling Konoe's limp body-it reminded him too much of the madness, so he tried to avoid thinking about it too much, or what he might do if Konoe did not wake up, instead concentrating on the steadily forming beads of sweat and wiping them away, away, away-right until the fifth day when Konoe opened his eyes, still hazy from the fever, smiled, and said warmly, "Hey."
13 - Change
He could not tell when exactly his interest in Konoe had transformed from a desire for strength into a wish for a partner, an equal, someone to be by his side and do all those little things he had always scoffed at; he only knew by the time he finally recognized that wish for what it was, it was far too late to rationalize it away.
14 - Command
Konoe rarely ever wanted something, for which Rai was absurdly grateful because he could not-physically could not-resist those darkened amber eyes, looking at him so hopefully, so pleadingly, for longer than a minute at a time; he would keep complaining and refusing even as he did whatever Konoe had asked of him, and secretly hoped that his objections were loud enough to hide the fact that Konoe had him completely wrapped around his little finger.
15 - Hold
Rai still responded with the same kind of confusion he had displayed the first time, freezing in honest surprise and staring down at him with a look of complete and utter incomprehension while Konoe hugged him and busied himself with nuzzling or kissing his neck (the only part of Rai conveniently in reach); it always took a while until he would return the embrace-hesitantly, still bewildered-however, Konoe was pleased to notice that the wait was lessening.
16 - Need
Rai managed to deny his feelings right up until the point where what had begun as a cursory interest developed into an insatiable need; until all he could think about was Konoe, with him, beside him, under him, over him, until all he wanted was to have and claim and hold him, and thought he might go a different kind of insane if he didn't.
17 - Vision
Konoe had grown used to the fact that sleeping together often meant synchronized dreaming-what he had not grown used to, and was not certain he ever would, was the fact that almost all of them were Rai's memories, real and solid, not the shapeless, meaningless phantoms that simply haunted people sometimes; he knew that Rai would never ask for comfort, might even deny that he needed it, but no longer refused what was wordlessly offered; so, Konoe drew him close, and allowed a few tears to fall, for the horror of the dreams, and for Rai, who no longer knew how.
18 - Attention
It had not taken long for them to make a name for themselves among the headhunters, the downside being that they could hardly frequent bars and taverns anymore without being accosted by at least half a dozen strangers-or rather, Konoe was accosted, since he did not share Rai's intimidating stature and brusque manners, and was far more interesting because of his powers; Rai would have had no problem with simply chasing these individuals away at swordpoint, but his partner protested unnecessary violence, so he had taken to slipping up behind Konoe and beginning to bathe his ears in such a blatantly suggestive manner that even the most persistent guy went beet red and politely excused himself before long.
19 - Soul
Konoe knew that the essence that made him himself really consisted of two parts-the part that had originally been intended to be Konoe, and the part that Leaks had ripped from his soul and stuffed inside him-but they did not feel like halves to him, because he had never been aware of being anyone else than who he was, and perceived himself as whole; now, though, there was a new part trying to fit in with the others, the rest of Leaks' soul bleeding into the space left to fill, and although this was what had ultimately saved his life, it was actually feeling the process, the change, that made all the difference, and sometimes a nameless fear would grip him at night, keeping him awake wondering whether he would still be Konoe come morning.
20 - Picture
He had never pictured himself leading this kind of life, camping out in the woods and frequenting seedy taverns, hunting outlaws and monsters no matter the weather or time, but between the rain pelting him, exhaustion, sore muscles, water and mud (and perhaps a bit of blood) making his clothes stick uncomfortably to his skin, and an equally wet and dirty-looking Rai practically purring in his ear in satisfaction at a job well-done, he could not honestly say that he regretted making that choice.
21 - Fool
He would have liked to call it an affair but there had been nothing casual about it; he would have liked to say that he knew what he was doing except that this was nothing but a fancy lie; he would have liked to blame Konoe for confusing him but knew that he had become messed-up long ago; but most of all, he would have liked to label himself a fool, thrice a fool, for not noticing when it had begun to mean so much to him-except that there was a small, often-silenced part of himself that whispered that maybe, this was for the best.
22 - Mad
He abhorred and loathed the demon clawing at his mind, and it abhorred and loathed him too; he feared the day it would break free and control him, but what he feared infinitely more was the fact that he almost shared its longing for the comforting warmth of Konoe's blood.
23 - Child
It should not have come as a surprise that children were drawn to Konoe just like their adult counterparts, and as he watched him laugh with a gaggle of kids, Rai could not help but wonder if Konoe wanted that sort of thing, wanted a family; when asked in a noncommittal tone, Konoe looked at him questioningly, and suddenly grinned, saying, "I've already got a big kid," to which Rai took great offense-but over bristling and yelling threats after Konoe, he completely forgot his initial worry.
24 - Now
Here is now, and now is: lying awake to the steady drone of cicadas filling the night air; enjoying the slight draft from the open window stroking over bare skin, the warmth radiating from the sleeping form close by, the brush of a tail as it twitches involuntarily; breathing in the humid air, almost thick enough to taste; tangling a hand in the beloved's hair, lightly rubbing the skin beneath; hearing a contented hum in return; feeling as if all is right with the world.
25 - Shadow
Insanity and death and fear loomed over them like monsters, waiting to consume them-so he cupped Rai's face and kissed him, kissed him desperately until the guilt was smothered by desire, allowing touch and heat and want to quiet the demons, at least for a little while.
26 - Goodbye
They rarely separated, but when they did, there were no scenes and no goodbye kisses; Konoe liked to withhold these until the reunion, because, as he said, there had to be some sort of incentive for Rai to hurry.
27 - Hide
Rai hated his scar, the symbol of his weakness, and kept it concealed like a shameful thing-Konoe, though, loved it for just that reason; sometimes, under the cover of darkness, Rai would not resist when he untied the leather strip, so he would lean in to kiss the blind eye, trace the jagged, rough line of skin with his fingertips, his tongue, until Rai gripped his arm and, in a voice hoarse with both revulsion and arousal, told him to stop; Konoe knew that this was as far as he could go, and would place a soothing kiss to his brow, before reaching for the black piece of leather and gently restoring Rai's armor.
28 - Fortune
The next time they came to Ransen, the spring festival had transformed the entire town in an explosion of colors and flowers, and Rai had pretty much resigned himself to spending the entire evening being dragged to every booth by an overenthusiastic Konoe, whose eyes only seemed to shine brighter with every new ridiculous game they came across, so he could not hide his surprise when Konoe completely ignored the pseudo-mysterious tent advertising palm-reading and fortune-telling: "Aren't you going in there?" he asked grudgingly, jerking his chin in the general direction of the tent; in response, Konoe smiled and stretched up to kiss his cheek, "I don't need an old lady to tell me how lucky I am."
29 - Safe
Konoe had noticed that Rai tended to react in a severely disgruntled manner when anyone except for him approached him from his blind side; he still tried to avoid doing so, and silently treasured the tiny gesture that spoke volumes of Rai's trust.
30 - Ghost
The years had come and gone, but Setsura resisted change with a quiet stubbornness that Rai had always found remarkable-even the air about the empty, dilapidated house he had once called home remained the same; after a moment of heavy silence, Rai asked Konoe if he could feel anything; Konoe shook his head, and did not mention the two spirits wandering the debris, watching with mournful eyes as their son and his lover continued on.
31 - Book
"You dropped the scrolls," Konoe breathed against his lips, fingering the buckles of Rai's belts suggestively as his lover pressed him against one of the shelves in a darkened corner of the Ransen library, "Not interested in them anymore?"-Rai merely rolled his eye and silenced him with a kiss.
32 - Eye
It seemed so stupid of him to forget what he was usually so acutely aware of-his depth perception was gone; his forgetfulness resulted in two very squashed, very sore noses, and he really would have liked nothing better than to sink into the ground in embarrassment for such a juvenile mistake, but the hand on his arm prevented him from leaving, and then Konoe smiled up at him, wrinkled his nose and said hopefully, "Try again?"
33 - Never
Rai danced around the word 'love' like it was forbidden, a cursed word that would strike him dead if he spoke it aloud, but hidden behind fierce protectiveness, long looks and lingering touches, it was not as if it went unsaid.
34 - Sing
Contrary to many sanga, Konoe never tried his hand at an instrument, or poetry; the songs he imagined (because, really, "composed" seemed so grand a word) were more explosions of feelings than anything else, wordless, aimless melodies expressing his grief and joy and love; he felt embarrassed, almost foolish, to share them, so Rai pretended to be asleep to hear them, and Konoe pretended not to notice the minute movements of Rai's ears as they twitched and turned to follow his songs.
35 - Sudden
The thunderstorm had taken them by surprise, the heavy rain drenching them as they ran for the safety of the nearby forest, lightning flashing over the field as they darted through the first row of trees, thunder a split second behind-they found shelter beneath the wide branches of an old beech and, kicking away their swords as far as they would go, crouched down in the driest spot available; still catching his breath, Konoe rested his cheek against the damp skin of Rai's neck, watching with unabashed fascination as the world around them flickered from black to white, to black.
36 - Stop
"More?"
"More. Never stop."
A chuckle, "Well, if you insist..."
Not quite silence for some time.
37 - Time
All beings die eventually, but Konoe supposed that knowing how soon it would be was what made all the difference; he had never wanted to live so desperately as he wanted to live now, with the people he had met and come to love-so he promised himself that he would make the most of the time that had been given to him.
38 - Wash
At first, Rai had really wanted to do nothing more than sit and brood over his dislocated shoulder-the result of a foolish misjudgment in battle-for the rest of the evening, but it seemed impossible to engage in self-criticism when Konoe was giving him a full-body sponge bath, warm, slick body pressed against his own, gentle touches and a soothing tongue ghosting down his back.
39 - Torn
Sighing, Konoe surveyed the rent lacings of his shirt, wishing not for the first time that Rai would learn to practice the little virtue called restraint.
40 - History
The midnight hour sometimes found him wondering about the nature of the bond between his father and Leaks; what kind of love it must have taken to create a hatred so powerful, what kind of pain could be great enough to make a person rend half his soul from his body, just to silence his heart-however, he was not cruel enough to prod the other side of his consciousness for answers, and instead banished the thoughts by burying his face in Rai's hair.
41 - Power
Even though he knew what was coming, the heady rush always took him by surprise, the power of the battle song coursing through his body, steeling his muscles, guiding his strokes, lending him strength beyond imagination; the feeling was frightening in its intensity, and soothing in its warmth.
42 - Bother
More often than not, he found his plans for sleeping in interrupted by a hot, laving tongue on his neck and a hand brushing teasingly along the inside of his thighs, and he really wanted to bite Rai for disturbing his sleep for that, except he never got around to actually doing it because the hand would suddenly wrap around him and squeeze, and coherent thought would not return for a very long time after that.
43 - God
He was nowhere near foolish or superstitious enough to attribute his actions or the turns his life had taken to the whims and plans of a deity called Fate, but in moments like this, when Konoe was twined around him and kissing him breathless, he sometimes caught himself wondering about Luck.
44 - Wall
Many people who met Konoe likened him to air, a warm and gentle breeze, but Rai knew he was water, washing away the base of his defenses and catching him when he fell along with his crumbling walls.
45 - Naked
In Rai's opinion, there were few things more enjoyable than Konoe's skin, its scent, its feel, its taste, and he took great pleasure in informing Konoe of this, because it made him blush and stutter in denial every time, and that most certainly required a hands-on demonstration to prove his point.
46 - Drive
He had decided long ago that something was definitely wrong with him, if he could look at Konoe in the most mundane situations-struggling to pull a shirt over his head, or sharpening his blade, or with his arms elbow-deep in soapy water-and suddenly want him desperately, hopelessly; but he had also decided not to worry about it too much, and instead trusted Konoe to hit him over the head if he really wasn't interested.
47 - Harm
"Ow," Konoe remarked as he gingerly fingered his left ear, victim to Rai's fangs during a particularly passionate moment, searching for signs of blood or perforation and thankfully finding none; his mood effectively ruined, he turned to regard the perpetrator, who was busy nuzzling his neck in apology, and grumbled, "You can stop sucking up, I'm not going to be disfigured"; Rai ceased his attentions and shifted his hips against him, "Then, we can-" Konoe promptly smacked him and refused to speak to him for the rest of the night.
48 - Precious
He was well aware of his own ineptitude with words, but despite his best efforts, pride seemed to have permanent command of his tongue and sarcasm was more readily available than romance, so "stupid cat" was easier to pronounce than "I love you"; but, thankfully, Konoe seemed to understand what he meant anyway.
49 - Hunger
For the longest time, he had not known that he had hungered for something, but now that he had finally gotten a taste, there was nothing to stop him from attempting to gorge himself on it.
50 - Believe
No matter how dark the times seemed, no matter how impossible the odds, no matter if he himself faltered-Konoe did not stop believing in him, so how could he do anything but go on?
----
A/N: Yes, I like romance, why do you ask? :D
- 17 & 30: I'm not sure how far these assumptions are canon: I've heard people argue that Konoe lost his psychic abilities after Leaks' soul joined with his, just as I've seen Japanese doujinshika and fanficcers use these abilities in post-canon stories. I, for my part, rather like the concept, even in the event it should not be canon-Konoe's father was one of the most powerful sanga ever, after all. It even says in the game that "green grew wherever [Shui] walked", so I'm assuming Konoe would be naturally powerful and sensitive even without Leaks' raw emotions amplifying those abilities. Please don't beat me. *hides*
- 35: Since this may cause some confusion: Yes, it might seem silly for headhunters to throw away their swords, but: There is a violent thunderstorm directly overhead. Lightning is attracted to metal like whoa. So, removing their swords is essential if they don't want to get turned into crisp. XD
- 36: Yup, I cheated a bit. But since all those bits are fragments, and not actual sentences...
C&C is very much appreciated.
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Fandom: Lamento - Beyond the Void
Pairing: RaiKono (duh XD)
Rating: R
Warnings: Mentions of sex, blood, violence. All good stuff.
Notes: Many many thanks to my lovely betas! You are awesome! ♥
1 - Motion
Rai grinned as their swords clashed, Konoe meeting him thrust for slash, their dance becoming faster and faster; although Konoe was playing on the defensive side, once he got caught up in the heat of the moment, he was truly a sight to behold-skin gleaming with sweat, eyes blazing with defiance, breathing hard yet refusing to be cowed; Rai made no effort to smother the bolt of arousal that ran through him at that-victory would be hard-bought, and very, very sweet.
2 - Cool
The sweltering summer heat prevailed even through the night, and made the sheets stick uncomfortably to their sweat-soaked bodies; Rai disliked heat with a passion and had gone so far as to kick their already-thin blanket off the bed in frustration, yet found himself unwilling to let go of Konoe's sleeping form, not even long enough to cool off.
3 - Young
From time to time, Konoe would become quiet, listening to something Rai could not hear, watching something Rai could not see, and his eyes would be old, so old and filled with the pain from a lifetime ago; Rai did not like that ancient gaze, but did not know how to make it disappear, so all he could do was hold on to him, until those old eyes became young again.
4 - Last
His most shameful secret was that for the longest time, he had not expected them to last, had doubted Konoe's sincerity, loyalty and strength as much as he had wanted to believe in them, whereas Konoe had not doubted him for even a second.
5 - Wrong
Sighing loudly, Konoe scanned the crowd for any sign of a familiar white head poking out of the throng, or any indication of where exactly he was-he hadn't looked for only a second, and they had already gotten separated, he could have sworn Rai had entered that alley, but that had been, what, three turns ago? four?-trying to fight down the rising panic (stupidstupidstupid); suddenly, a hand roughly gripped his arm and yanked him around to face a rather annoyed Rai, who growled, "Stupid cat," and leaned forward to nip reproachfully at his ear; Konoe felt too relieved to even get angry at the insult, and swiftly linked their hands together as Rai steered them back towards the main street.
6 - Gentle
Konoe would always reach out to him, quick hands and sly lips catching him before he could withdraw, and their touch surprised him anew every time, mostly because he was still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that someone would want to be gentle with him.
7 - One
In Rai's mind, there was little that could compare to this, hands trembling with impatience as he fumbled with the buckles, Konoe kissing his neck and batting his hands away to help; pushing him down on the bed and catching the look in his eyes-want you, now-before rolling over on his hands and knees, offering himself; grasping his hips with both hands and pushing in-heat, so much heat-and losing himself in the rhythm of their bodies, the overwhelming feeling of being one.
8 - Thousand
Lying here like this, trying to catch his breath and slowly coming down from the high, Konoe realized that there were probably a thousand things he wanted to say, from confessions to observations to wishes, but every time he tried to voice even a single one of them, Rai lightly tweaked his ear and told him to go to sleep; so, in the end, he gave up and let the thoughts go one after another, until there was nothing left except for that feeling of sleepy, bone-deep contentment.
9 - King
He did not realize how nervous he had been about his first job until long after the fight, after they had reported to their client and collected the reward, when relief flooded him like a wave; then Rai pulled him against his chest with a wide, pleased grin, murmuring in his ear that he had done good, real good, and he could not help but feel like he could take on the world.
10 - Learn
No matter how much he might have liked to know, Konoe did not prod Rai for his secrets, and instead contented himself with learning the intricacies of the heart that had been entrusted to him.
11 - Blur
He should have known something was wrong when their attackers suddenly fell back-a thin whistling sound, something small and gleaming missing his leg by a fraction of an inch, and a cat with a feral grin appearing on the branches overhead, lifting a blowpipe to her lips; he knew the darts would not miss a second time, knew it even as he ran to try and avoid them-he never saw Konoe move, only heard the dull "thwack" of the striking darts, and when he saw his beloved sanga go down in his stead, his vision was suddenly plunged into red.
12 - Wait
He spent the better half of the next week keeping watch on Konoe's bedside, dabbing the sweat from Konoe's face and chest as he fought the poison-induced fever-the task was futile and mind-numbing, but it kept Rai from tearing his hair out in frustration at his own helplessness; he still could not remember what exactly had happened, only that, after the red haze had cleared, he had been standing in a field of blood, cradling Konoe's limp body-it reminded him too much of the madness, so he tried to avoid thinking about it too much, or what he might do if Konoe did not wake up, instead concentrating on the steadily forming beads of sweat and wiping them away, away, away-right until the fifth day when Konoe opened his eyes, still hazy from the fever, smiled, and said warmly, "Hey."
13 - Change
He could not tell when exactly his interest in Konoe had transformed from a desire for strength into a wish for a partner, an equal, someone to be by his side and do all those little things he had always scoffed at; he only knew by the time he finally recognized that wish for what it was, it was far too late to rationalize it away.
14 - Command
Konoe rarely ever wanted something, for which Rai was absurdly grateful because he could not-physically could not-resist those darkened amber eyes, looking at him so hopefully, so pleadingly, for longer than a minute at a time; he would keep complaining and refusing even as he did whatever Konoe had asked of him, and secretly hoped that his objections were loud enough to hide the fact that Konoe had him completely wrapped around his little finger.
15 - Hold
Rai still responded with the same kind of confusion he had displayed the first time, freezing in honest surprise and staring down at him with a look of complete and utter incomprehension while Konoe hugged him and busied himself with nuzzling or kissing his neck (the only part of Rai conveniently in reach); it always took a while until he would return the embrace-hesitantly, still bewildered-however, Konoe was pleased to notice that the wait was lessening.
16 - Need
Rai managed to deny his feelings right up until the point where what had begun as a cursory interest developed into an insatiable need; until all he could think about was Konoe, with him, beside him, under him, over him, until all he wanted was to have and claim and hold him, and thought he might go a different kind of insane if he didn't.
17 - Vision
Konoe had grown used to the fact that sleeping together often meant synchronized dreaming-what he had not grown used to, and was not certain he ever would, was the fact that almost all of them were Rai's memories, real and solid, not the shapeless, meaningless phantoms that simply haunted people sometimes; he knew that Rai would never ask for comfort, might even deny that he needed it, but no longer refused what was wordlessly offered; so, Konoe drew him close, and allowed a few tears to fall, for the horror of the dreams, and for Rai, who no longer knew how.
18 - Attention
It had not taken long for them to make a name for themselves among the headhunters, the downside being that they could hardly frequent bars and taverns anymore without being accosted by at least half a dozen strangers-or rather, Konoe was accosted, since he did not share Rai's intimidating stature and brusque manners, and was far more interesting because of his powers; Rai would have had no problem with simply chasing these individuals away at swordpoint, but his partner protested unnecessary violence, so he had taken to slipping up behind Konoe and beginning to bathe his ears in such a blatantly suggestive manner that even the most persistent guy went beet red and politely excused himself before long.
19 - Soul
Konoe knew that the essence that made him himself really consisted of two parts-the part that had originally been intended to be Konoe, and the part that Leaks had ripped from his soul and stuffed inside him-but they did not feel like halves to him, because he had never been aware of being anyone else than who he was, and perceived himself as whole; now, though, there was a new part trying to fit in with the others, the rest of Leaks' soul bleeding into the space left to fill, and although this was what had ultimately saved his life, it was actually feeling the process, the change, that made all the difference, and sometimes a nameless fear would grip him at night, keeping him awake wondering whether he would still be Konoe come morning.
20 - Picture
He had never pictured himself leading this kind of life, camping out in the woods and frequenting seedy taverns, hunting outlaws and monsters no matter the weather or time, but between the rain pelting him, exhaustion, sore muscles, water and mud (and perhaps a bit of blood) making his clothes stick uncomfortably to his skin, and an equally wet and dirty-looking Rai practically purring in his ear in satisfaction at a job well-done, he could not honestly say that he regretted making that choice.
21 - Fool
He would have liked to call it an affair but there had been nothing casual about it; he would have liked to say that he knew what he was doing except that this was nothing but a fancy lie; he would have liked to blame Konoe for confusing him but knew that he had become messed-up long ago; but most of all, he would have liked to label himself a fool, thrice a fool, for not noticing when it had begun to mean so much to him-except that there was a small, often-silenced part of himself that whispered that maybe, this was for the best.
22 - Mad
He abhorred and loathed the demon clawing at his mind, and it abhorred and loathed him too; he feared the day it would break free and control him, but what he feared infinitely more was the fact that he almost shared its longing for the comforting warmth of Konoe's blood.
23 - Child
It should not have come as a surprise that children were drawn to Konoe just like their adult counterparts, and as he watched him laugh with a gaggle of kids, Rai could not help but wonder if Konoe wanted that sort of thing, wanted a family; when asked in a noncommittal tone, Konoe looked at him questioningly, and suddenly grinned, saying, "I've already got a big kid," to which Rai took great offense-but over bristling and yelling threats after Konoe, he completely forgot his initial worry.
24 - Now
Here is now, and now is: lying awake to the steady drone of cicadas filling the night air; enjoying the slight draft from the open window stroking over bare skin, the warmth radiating from the sleeping form close by, the brush of a tail as it twitches involuntarily; breathing in the humid air, almost thick enough to taste; tangling a hand in the beloved's hair, lightly rubbing the skin beneath; hearing a contented hum in return; feeling as if all is right with the world.
25 - Shadow
Insanity and death and fear loomed over them like monsters, waiting to consume them-so he cupped Rai's face and kissed him, kissed him desperately until the guilt was smothered by desire, allowing touch and heat and want to quiet the demons, at least for a little while.
26 - Goodbye
They rarely separated, but when they did, there were no scenes and no goodbye kisses; Konoe liked to withhold these until the reunion, because, as he said, there had to be some sort of incentive for Rai to hurry.
27 - Hide
Rai hated his scar, the symbol of his weakness, and kept it concealed like a shameful thing-Konoe, though, loved it for just that reason; sometimes, under the cover of darkness, Rai would not resist when he untied the leather strip, so he would lean in to kiss the blind eye, trace the jagged, rough line of skin with his fingertips, his tongue, until Rai gripped his arm and, in a voice hoarse with both revulsion and arousal, told him to stop; Konoe knew that this was as far as he could go, and would place a soothing kiss to his brow, before reaching for the black piece of leather and gently restoring Rai's armor.
28 - Fortune
The next time they came to Ransen, the spring festival had transformed the entire town in an explosion of colors and flowers, and Rai had pretty much resigned himself to spending the entire evening being dragged to every booth by an overenthusiastic Konoe, whose eyes only seemed to shine brighter with every new ridiculous game they came across, so he could not hide his surprise when Konoe completely ignored the pseudo-mysterious tent advertising palm-reading and fortune-telling: "Aren't you going in there?" he asked grudgingly, jerking his chin in the general direction of the tent; in response, Konoe smiled and stretched up to kiss his cheek, "I don't need an old lady to tell me how lucky I am."
29 - Safe
Konoe had noticed that Rai tended to react in a severely disgruntled manner when anyone except for him approached him from his blind side; he still tried to avoid doing so, and silently treasured the tiny gesture that spoke volumes of Rai's trust.
30 - Ghost
The years had come and gone, but Setsura resisted change with a quiet stubbornness that Rai had always found remarkable-even the air about the empty, dilapidated house he had once called home remained the same; after a moment of heavy silence, Rai asked Konoe if he could feel anything; Konoe shook his head, and did not mention the two spirits wandering the debris, watching with mournful eyes as their son and his lover continued on.
31 - Book
"You dropped the scrolls," Konoe breathed against his lips, fingering the buckles of Rai's belts suggestively as his lover pressed him against one of the shelves in a darkened corner of the Ransen library, "Not interested in them anymore?"-Rai merely rolled his eye and silenced him with a kiss.
32 - Eye
It seemed so stupid of him to forget what he was usually so acutely aware of-his depth perception was gone; his forgetfulness resulted in two very squashed, very sore noses, and he really would have liked nothing better than to sink into the ground in embarrassment for such a juvenile mistake, but the hand on his arm prevented him from leaving, and then Konoe smiled up at him, wrinkled his nose and said hopefully, "Try again?"
33 - Never
Rai danced around the word 'love' like it was forbidden, a cursed word that would strike him dead if he spoke it aloud, but hidden behind fierce protectiveness, long looks and lingering touches, it was not as if it went unsaid.
34 - Sing
Contrary to many sanga, Konoe never tried his hand at an instrument, or poetry; the songs he imagined (because, really, "composed" seemed so grand a word) were more explosions of feelings than anything else, wordless, aimless melodies expressing his grief and joy and love; he felt embarrassed, almost foolish, to share them, so Rai pretended to be asleep to hear them, and Konoe pretended not to notice the minute movements of Rai's ears as they twitched and turned to follow his songs.
35 - Sudden
The thunderstorm had taken them by surprise, the heavy rain drenching them as they ran for the safety of the nearby forest, lightning flashing over the field as they darted through the first row of trees, thunder a split second behind-they found shelter beneath the wide branches of an old beech and, kicking away their swords as far as they would go, crouched down in the driest spot available; still catching his breath, Konoe rested his cheek against the damp skin of Rai's neck, watching with unabashed fascination as the world around them flickered from black to white, to black.
36 - Stop
"More?"
"More. Never stop."
A chuckle, "Well, if you insist..."
Not quite silence for some time.
37 - Time
All beings die eventually, but Konoe supposed that knowing how soon it would be was what made all the difference; he had never wanted to live so desperately as he wanted to live now, with the people he had met and come to love-so he promised himself that he would make the most of the time that had been given to him.
38 - Wash
At first, Rai had really wanted to do nothing more than sit and brood over his dislocated shoulder-the result of a foolish misjudgment in battle-for the rest of the evening, but it seemed impossible to engage in self-criticism when Konoe was giving him a full-body sponge bath, warm, slick body pressed against his own, gentle touches and a soothing tongue ghosting down his back.
39 - Torn
Sighing, Konoe surveyed the rent lacings of his shirt, wishing not for the first time that Rai would learn to practice the little virtue called restraint.
40 - History
The midnight hour sometimes found him wondering about the nature of the bond between his father and Leaks; what kind of love it must have taken to create a hatred so powerful, what kind of pain could be great enough to make a person rend half his soul from his body, just to silence his heart-however, he was not cruel enough to prod the other side of his consciousness for answers, and instead banished the thoughts by burying his face in Rai's hair.
41 - Power
Even though he knew what was coming, the heady rush always took him by surprise, the power of the battle song coursing through his body, steeling his muscles, guiding his strokes, lending him strength beyond imagination; the feeling was frightening in its intensity, and soothing in its warmth.
42 - Bother
More often than not, he found his plans for sleeping in interrupted by a hot, laving tongue on his neck and a hand brushing teasingly along the inside of his thighs, and he really wanted to bite Rai for disturbing his sleep for that, except he never got around to actually doing it because the hand would suddenly wrap around him and squeeze, and coherent thought would not return for a very long time after that.
43 - God
He was nowhere near foolish or superstitious enough to attribute his actions or the turns his life had taken to the whims and plans of a deity called Fate, but in moments like this, when Konoe was twined around him and kissing him breathless, he sometimes caught himself wondering about Luck.
44 - Wall
Many people who met Konoe likened him to air, a warm and gentle breeze, but Rai knew he was water, washing away the base of his defenses and catching him when he fell along with his crumbling walls.
45 - Naked
In Rai's opinion, there were few things more enjoyable than Konoe's skin, its scent, its feel, its taste, and he took great pleasure in informing Konoe of this, because it made him blush and stutter in denial every time, and that most certainly required a hands-on demonstration to prove his point.
46 - Drive
He had decided long ago that something was definitely wrong with him, if he could look at Konoe in the most mundane situations-struggling to pull a shirt over his head, or sharpening his blade, or with his arms elbow-deep in soapy water-and suddenly want him desperately, hopelessly; but he had also decided not to worry about it too much, and instead trusted Konoe to hit him over the head if he really wasn't interested.
47 - Harm
"Ow," Konoe remarked as he gingerly fingered his left ear, victim to Rai's fangs during a particularly passionate moment, searching for signs of blood or perforation and thankfully finding none; his mood effectively ruined, he turned to regard the perpetrator, who was busy nuzzling his neck in apology, and grumbled, "You can stop sucking up, I'm not going to be disfigured"; Rai ceased his attentions and shifted his hips against him, "Then, we can-" Konoe promptly smacked him and refused to speak to him for the rest of the night.
48 - Precious
He was well aware of his own ineptitude with words, but despite his best efforts, pride seemed to have permanent command of his tongue and sarcasm was more readily available than romance, so "stupid cat" was easier to pronounce than "I love you"; but, thankfully, Konoe seemed to understand what he meant anyway.
49 - Hunger
For the longest time, he had not known that he had hungered for something, but now that he had finally gotten a taste, there was nothing to stop him from attempting to gorge himself on it.
50 - Believe
No matter how dark the times seemed, no matter how impossible the odds, no matter if he himself faltered-Konoe did not stop believing in him, so how could he do anything but go on?
----
A/N: Yes, I like romance, why do you ask? :D
- 17 & 30: I'm not sure how far these assumptions are canon: I've heard people argue that Konoe lost his psychic abilities after Leaks' soul joined with his, just as I've seen Japanese doujinshika and fanficcers use these abilities in post-canon stories. I, for my part, rather like the concept, even in the event it should not be canon-Konoe's father was one of the most powerful sanga ever, after all. It even says in the game that "green grew wherever [Shui] walked", so I'm assuming Konoe would be naturally powerful and sensitive even without Leaks' raw emotions amplifying those abilities. Please don't beat me. *hides*
- 35: Since this may cause some confusion: Yes, it might seem silly for headhunters to throw away their swords, but: There is a violent thunderstorm directly overhead. Lightning is attracted to metal like whoa. So, removing their swords is essential if they don't want to get turned into crisp. XD
- 36: Yup, I cheated a bit. But since all those bits are fragments, and not actual sentences...
C&C is very much appreciated.
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