[Kingdom Hearts] Epitaph
Title: Epitaph
Fandom: KH/CoM
Pairing: Only if you squint.
Rating: G
Warnings: Well, I guess it's slightly spoilerish if you haven't played CoM at all, but...
Disclaimer: I don't own it.
Epitaph
Axel finds him standing in the graveyard, or what passes for a graveyard anyway, hands hanging loosely at his sides and staring at the twelfth place marker with wide, thoughtful eyes. Its eerie red glow cancels out the blue of the surrounding place markers, turning Roxas' eyes an electric violet color.
Roxas tears his gaze away from the red plate as he comes to stand beside him, and blinks up at him. "I don't understand." When Axel looks at him questioningly, he elaborates, "...why we have this place. It's not as if we can come here and be sad for anyone. Miss anyone. It's not like there is a body."
"Maybe the Superior just gets off on the creepy-ass atmosphere," Axel suggests, only half joking. "It certainly does a number on me. Though not like that." He pulls a face at the thought. Roxas presses his lips together in an expression of vague disapproval, clearly not satisfied with the answer.
Axel knows that, just like he knows that Roxas isn't asking what he really wants to ask, how Larxene died and why Axel refuses to tell him anything, despite coming back bearing the news of her death. Axel still remembers the scene quite vividly, how he fed the polished version of the story to the five remaining in the Castle that Never Was, the subsequent debate to intervene in the Oblivion project, and how they all fell abruptly silent when Roxas made his presence known. Needless to say, the Superior was not pleased. Not pleased at all.
Roxas is also not pleased, especially now that he knows there is a secret being kept from him, and that Axel has been lying through his teeth the entire time. The resident tiny death machine has the nasty habit of coming to conclusions in his own head, and there is a greater than average chance he will decide that maybe, Axel was lying about being friends with him, too, and go back to bashing Axel's forehead in with a keyblade when he feels his sacred personal space being threatened.
It is terribly ironic, Axel thinks, that he can watch a colleague die a horrible crispy death and plan to backstab half the Organization without batting an eyelash, yet here he is practically developing a conscience, of all things, because of the possibility that Roxas will not talk to him anymore.
Roxas gives him a measuring sideways glance, his entire posture radiating impatience and barely contained violence. He is still expecting an answer, and will not just let it drop like the many other almost-conversations they have had over time. Maybe, just maybe, Axel realizes, this is the Roxas version of a test. Maybe Roxas has not addressed the real issue because he is trying to determine whether or not Axel can give him an honest answer at all, if he is still trustworthy, or as close to being trustworthy as he can come in Roxas' eyes.
"Well," he says, scratching his head in something akin to sheepishness, "maybe that's the thing. We just go 'poof' when we die, so… don't you think it's kind of nice, that there'll be some sign left behind that says we lived? Some proof that we existed. Something that others can go look at and say, 'Hey, I knew that guy.'"
At some point during his explanation, Roxas has turned to give him his full attention. Now, he turns back to the red grave, mulling Axel's words over in his mind, teeth pressing against his bottom lip. The gesture makes him look oddly young.
"Mhm," he finally concedes, a barely visible tension leaving his shoulders. Axel takes a moment to quietly thank his amazing Roxas-reading powers, because it really was a test, and he feels kind of funny to know how close he scraped to entirely missing that important fact, and how ugly things could have become if he had.
"So, this means if I die, you will come here to remember me, and this will prove that I existed?"
The sudden question catches Axel off guard, like a punch to his stomach, because it reminds him of how much is hanging in the balance that Roxas does not know about, must not know about, and what will be the prize if he fails, so he says the first thing that comes to his mind. "No. I would follow you."
Roxas whirls on him, something like incredulity swimming in his wide eyes, and something vulnerable peeking out from deep within, something that reminds Axel of another boy, a boy who looked with the same sort of incredulity at a sneering shadow of his friend. He can't look away as Roxas searches his face - he means what he said, though the suddenness of the question made him be more honest than he would have otherwise been, and he knows this was a mistake even as Roxas tenses, and his expression becomes shuttered so quickly Axel has to wonder if he saw the openness at all.
Too much, too soon, and Roxas has reached his verdict. Liar. You lie.
For a moment, Roxas looks like he truly feels anger, but that moment passes, too, and the look is replaced by his usual blank expression. He returns to gazing at the grave. Axel has no idea what caused the change, since Roxas is always one for straight-out confrontation. So he simply keeps standing there, feeling oddly hollow, and watches Roxas stare at the stone in silence. He does not know what to say to make things right anymore.
Finally, he sighs and decides to suggest what he came here to suggest in the first place. He does not know how to repair things, but it does not mean that he won't keep trying. "Hey… I have some time to kill. Want to go out and mess up the Heartless a bit?"
"No."
Of course not. Axel is nearly out the door when he decides against leaving. He came here to spend time with Roxas, and he is selfish enough not to stop pushing when he knows he should back off.
He turns back around to see that Roxas has seated himself in front of the red grave, still deep in thought. Not exactly what Axel would have chosen to do for a fun afternoon, but whatever.
"Hey. Move over a bit."
Surprisingly, Roxas complies, shifting a bit to let Axel sit down next to him. "There's not much room."
"That's okay," Axel grins, moving much closer than absolutely necessary, just to see if he still can. Roxas lets him. "It's not as though you can feel crowded."
Roxas rolls his eyes. "That's a lame excuse."
"I take what I can get," he retorts teasingly, but when Roxas' lips twitch into a wry almost-smile a second later, he gets the unmistakable feeling that he is somehow thinking the same thing.
------
A/N: Mweeh, I seem to like the present tense. Sorry. Also, I like to think that this isn't out of character. Of course, I like to think a lot of things.
C&C is highly appreciated.
<< Return to Kingdom Hearts Index | Return to Fanfiction Index >>
Fandom: KH/CoM
Pairing: Only if you squint.
Rating: G
Warnings: Well, I guess it's slightly spoilerish if you haven't played CoM at all, but...
Disclaimer: I don't own it.
Epitaph
Axel finds him standing in the graveyard, or what passes for a graveyard anyway, hands hanging loosely at his sides and staring at the twelfth place marker with wide, thoughtful eyes. Its eerie red glow cancels out the blue of the surrounding place markers, turning Roxas' eyes an electric violet color.
Roxas tears his gaze away from the red plate as he comes to stand beside him, and blinks up at him. "I don't understand." When Axel looks at him questioningly, he elaborates, "...why we have this place. It's not as if we can come here and be sad for anyone. Miss anyone. It's not like there is a body."
"Maybe the Superior just gets off on the creepy-ass atmosphere," Axel suggests, only half joking. "It certainly does a number on me. Though not like that." He pulls a face at the thought. Roxas presses his lips together in an expression of vague disapproval, clearly not satisfied with the answer.
Axel knows that, just like he knows that Roxas isn't asking what he really wants to ask, how Larxene died and why Axel refuses to tell him anything, despite coming back bearing the news of her death. Axel still remembers the scene quite vividly, how he fed the polished version of the story to the five remaining in the Castle that Never Was, the subsequent debate to intervene in the Oblivion project, and how they all fell abruptly silent when Roxas made his presence known. Needless to say, the Superior was not pleased. Not pleased at all.
Roxas is also not pleased, especially now that he knows there is a secret being kept from him, and that Axel has been lying through his teeth the entire time. The resident tiny death machine has the nasty habit of coming to conclusions in his own head, and there is a greater than average chance he will decide that maybe, Axel was lying about being friends with him, too, and go back to bashing Axel's forehead in with a keyblade when he feels his sacred personal space being threatened.
It is terribly ironic, Axel thinks, that he can watch a colleague die a horrible crispy death and plan to backstab half the Organization without batting an eyelash, yet here he is practically developing a conscience, of all things, because of the possibility that Roxas will not talk to him anymore.
Roxas gives him a measuring sideways glance, his entire posture radiating impatience and barely contained violence. He is still expecting an answer, and will not just let it drop like the many other almost-conversations they have had over time. Maybe, just maybe, Axel realizes, this is the Roxas version of a test. Maybe Roxas has not addressed the real issue because he is trying to determine whether or not Axel can give him an honest answer at all, if he is still trustworthy, or as close to being trustworthy as he can come in Roxas' eyes.
"Well," he says, scratching his head in something akin to sheepishness, "maybe that's the thing. We just go 'poof' when we die, so… don't you think it's kind of nice, that there'll be some sign left behind that says we lived? Some proof that we existed. Something that others can go look at and say, 'Hey, I knew that guy.'"
At some point during his explanation, Roxas has turned to give him his full attention. Now, he turns back to the red grave, mulling Axel's words over in his mind, teeth pressing against his bottom lip. The gesture makes him look oddly young.
"Mhm," he finally concedes, a barely visible tension leaving his shoulders. Axel takes a moment to quietly thank his amazing Roxas-reading powers, because it really was a test, and he feels kind of funny to know how close he scraped to entirely missing that important fact, and how ugly things could have become if he had.
"So, this means if I die, you will come here to remember me, and this will prove that I existed?"
The sudden question catches Axel off guard, like a punch to his stomach, because it reminds him of how much is hanging in the balance that Roxas does not know about, must not know about, and what will be the prize if he fails, so he says the first thing that comes to his mind. "No. I would follow you."
Roxas whirls on him, something like incredulity swimming in his wide eyes, and something vulnerable peeking out from deep within, something that reminds Axel of another boy, a boy who looked with the same sort of incredulity at a sneering shadow of his friend. He can't look away as Roxas searches his face - he means what he said, though the suddenness of the question made him be more honest than he would have otherwise been, and he knows this was a mistake even as Roxas tenses, and his expression becomes shuttered so quickly Axel has to wonder if he saw the openness at all.
Too much, too soon, and Roxas has reached his verdict. Liar. You lie.
For a moment, Roxas looks like he truly feels anger, but that moment passes, too, and the look is replaced by his usual blank expression. He returns to gazing at the grave. Axel has no idea what caused the change, since Roxas is always one for straight-out confrontation. So he simply keeps standing there, feeling oddly hollow, and watches Roxas stare at the stone in silence. He does not know what to say to make things right anymore.
Finally, he sighs and decides to suggest what he came here to suggest in the first place. He does not know how to repair things, but it does not mean that he won't keep trying. "Hey… I have some time to kill. Want to go out and mess up the Heartless a bit?"
"No."
Of course not. Axel is nearly out the door when he decides against leaving. He came here to spend time with Roxas, and he is selfish enough not to stop pushing when he knows he should back off.
He turns back around to see that Roxas has seated himself in front of the red grave, still deep in thought. Not exactly what Axel would have chosen to do for a fun afternoon, but whatever.
"Hey. Move over a bit."
Surprisingly, Roxas complies, shifting a bit to let Axel sit down next to him. "There's not much room."
"That's okay," Axel grins, moving much closer than absolutely necessary, just to see if he still can. Roxas lets him. "It's not as though you can feel crowded."
Roxas rolls his eyes. "That's a lame excuse."
"I take what I can get," he retorts teasingly, but when Roxas' lips twitch into a wry almost-smile a second later, he gets the unmistakable feeling that he is somehow thinking the same thing.
------
A/N: Mweeh, I seem to like the present tense. Sorry. Also, I like to think that this isn't out of character. Of course, I like to think a lot of things.
C&C is highly appreciated.
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