I'M SLEEPING ( Read more... )

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today i realized my undying and eternal love for blind date. nothing is funnier than watching two people fuck up conversation over dinner while their heads wiggle on flying nuns' bodies at the bottom of the screen. i wish you could see all those caricatures and edited bits of hilarity on real blind dates because that would make them a lot less ( Read more... )

A WEDDING IS STILL THE BEST WAY TO END A STORY ( Read more... )

( omg i almost forgot about cuts man )

As a small child, I was extremely chubby. When I was nine years old I complained to my sister (who was fifteen at the time) that I would never lose weight. She told me that to lose weight, I would have to burn calories. I asked her if calories were a type of candle, she said no. I asked her how do you burn them? She told me I would burn some ( Read more... )

my mom went to shopper's drug mart to buy panties but she couldn't find them so she asked a sales lady for help. (like, gross, who buys panties at shoppers drug mart? do you understand why all i own are granny panties three times too big for me? ridiculous) the sales lady passed by a row of thongs and made apoint of saying "you won't be wearing ( Read more... )

THIS YEAR I'M BACK AT SCHOOL WITH EXTRA VITAMIN C ( Read more... )

I LOVE SCHOOL
I WONDER HOW AM I GOING TO FEEL ABOUT IT TOMORROW?