Fic: Sweet Like Candy
Title: Sweet Like Candy
Author: odd_stick
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters are owned by Hasbro and such.
Rating: PG 13 for snogging and implied smexing
Pairing: Ironhide x Ratchet (Bayverse)
Summary: Ironhide is helping Ratchet deal with the aftermath of some reactions to his new paint job.
Warnings: AU and crack
A/N: Inspired by (who we can assume is) Ratchet’s new paint job for the third Transformers movie and comments traded between myself and silver_bells13. It’s all her fault. Really. X3
This fic assumes that the Autobots have been outed to the public due to the events in RotF and enough time has passed that people in general have grown to accept them. The children mentioned are early elementary and/or pre-school age.
“I am never doing that again,” Ratchet growled as Ironhide sprayed more solvent on his back.
The dark mech bit down on his denta to try and hold in his laughter before he managed to say, “But I thought you liked helping the humans with their emergency services when you had the time. Didn’t Optimus say that this was another *snrk* wonderful opportunity to show them that we can be trusted?”
“I didn’t volunteer just so I could be fondled by small children that were crawling with all manner of disgusting bacteria and micro-organisms. Their hands alone contained whole colonies! The EMCs let them crawl all over me - inside me! - and those little cretins showed no respect or remorse when they smeared their sticky little hands on EVERYTHING!” A shiver ran through the medic’s frame.
Ironhide continued to scrub at the multitude of residual hand prints that decorated Ratchet’s paint job. “I’m surprised that you, the CMO of the Autobots, is so easily disgusted by a few organic sparklings.”
Ratchet shot a glare over his shoulder. “I’ve tolerated Annabelle just fine for years now.” He turned his attention back towards his chassis where he was trying to pry something that looked suspiciously like gum out from between his plating. “It isn’t the fact that they are organics or children. It’s just…”
The dark mech ceased his attentive washing as the smaller mech trailed off. He wound his arms around his partner’s midsection and rested his chin on a section of Ratchet’s shoulder armor. “Just what?”
Ratchet’s hands settled over Ironhide’s as he sighed. “It was just one of them at first, and then they all started doing it…” He carefully turned around so that he could face the weapons specialist. “They…they licked me! It was so…” another shiver ran through his frame. Ironhide shivered as well, but not from disgust. Laughter bubbled forth as he pulled the medic close.
“Why - why did they - lick you?” he managed to force out between laughs.
Ratchet glared at his mate.
“Apparently my coloring leads young humans to think that I am made of candy.”
With a wicked glint in his optic, Ironhide swiped his glossa along the medic’s cheek plating. Ratchet scoffed and tried to back away, but the dark mech simply held on as he made a show of contemplating the taste. “Hmm, I don’t taste it. Maybe another test is needed?”
Ratchet pushed at the warrior’s chassis, but didn’t really try to stop Ironhide from stealing a kiss. “That one was a little sweeter. Shall I keep trying?”
The smirk on the CMO’s face spoke for itself, but he clarified anyway. “Wheeljack and Percy did always say that to run a successful experiment you had to have consistent results.”
“Good,” Ironhide said as he guided Ratchet backwards so that he was braced against the wash rack’s tiled wall. Nuzzling at the bared throat, he added, “I’ll let you know the results, but I think I can already make an educated guess about how this experiment is going to turn out. I always did have a bit of a ‘sweet tooth’.”
Author: odd_stick
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters are owned by Hasbro and such.
Rating: PG 13 for snogging and implied smexing
Pairing: Ironhide x Ratchet (Bayverse)
Summary: Ironhide is helping Ratchet deal with the aftermath of some reactions to his new paint job.
Warnings: AU and crack
A/N: Inspired by (who we can assume is) Ratchet’s new paint job for the third Transformers movie and comments traded between myself and silver_bells13. It’s all her fault. Really. X3
This fic assumes that the Autobots have been outed to the public due to the events in RotF and enough time has passed that people in general have grown to accept them. The children mentioned are early elementary and/or pre-school age.
“I am never doing that again,” Ratchet growled as Ironhide sprayed more solvent on his back.
The dark mech bit down on his denta to try and hold in his laughter before he managed to say, “But I thought you liked helping the humans with their emergency services when you had the time. Didn’t Optimus say that this was another *snrk* wonderful opportunity to show them that we can be trusted?”
“I didn’t volunteer just so I could be fondled by small children that were crawling with all manner of disgusting bacteria and micro-organisms. Their hands alone contained whole colonies! The EMCs let them crawl all over me - inside me! - and those little cretins showed no respect or remorse when they smeared their sticky little hands on EVERYTHING!” A shiver ran through the medic’s frame.
Ironhide continued to scrub at the multitude of residual hand prints that decorated Ratchet’s paint job. “I’m surprised that you, the CMO of the Autobots, is so easily disgusted by a few organic sparklings.”
Ratchet shot a glare over his shoulder. “I’ve tolerated Annabelle just fine for years now.” He turned his attention back towards his chassis where he was trying to pry something that looked suspiciously like gum out from between his plating. “It isn’t the fact that they are organics or children. It’s just…”
The dark mech ceased his attentive washing as the smaller mech trailed off. He wound his arms around his partner’s midsection and rested his chin on a section of Ratchet’s shoulder armor. “Just what?”
Ratchet’s hands settled over Ironhide’s as he sighed. “It was just one of them at first, and then they all started doing it…” He carefully turned around so that he could face the weapons specialist. “They…they licked me! It was so…” another shiver ran through his frame. Ironhide shivered as well, but not from disgust. Laughter bubbled forth as he pulled the medic close.
“Why - why did they - lick you?” he managed to force out between laughs.
Ratchet glared at his mate.
“Apparently my coloring leads young humans to think that I am made of candy.”
With a wicked glint in his optic, Ironhide swiped his glossa along the medic’s cheek plating. Ratchet scoffed and tried to back away, but the dark mech simply held on as he made a show of contemplating the taste. “Hmm, I don’t taste it. Maybe another test is needed?”
Ratchet pushed at the warrior’s chassis, but didn’t really try to stop Ironhide from stealing a kiss. “That one was a little sweeter. Shall I keep trying?”
The smirk on the CMO’s face spoke for itself, but he clarified anyway. “Wheeljack and Percy did always say that to run a successful experiment you had to have consistent results.”
“Good,” Ironhide said as he guided Ratchet backwards so that he was braced against the wash rack’s tiled wall. Nuzzling at the bared throat, he added, “I’ll let you know the results, but I think I can already make an educated guess about how this experiment is going to turn out. I always did have a bit of a ‘sweet tooth’.”