Entry 09 - Donette Saga
Title: Donette Saga
Entry Number: 09
Author: latemarch
Original
Rating: PG?
Genre: urban fantasy, romance
Spoiler Warnings: None
Word Count: 1600
Notes: This follows directly after Entry 08! Pam and Camlin finally resolve this argument that's been brewing for a few entries. It just takes some discussion, some allowances, and some good old fashions kissin.' Written on the fly, whenever inspiration struck. Apologies for any typos.
- - entry 09 - -
As if I couldn’t have loved Camlin more, he took a deep breath and turned to face me. His warm hands slid down my arms to hold my hands. And then he prepared to apologize.
I could just see it coming, the way he fought to keep his face composed, yet his wolf flared in his eyes. The way he was massaging the backs of my hands, as if to soften me up. It was all too much - he was trying too hard; he wasn’t used to explaining himself, much less apologizing, and one or both of us was going to end up making promises we couldn’t keep.
“Stop.” It seemed the most logical course of action. “No apologizing. Neither of us did anything that was really wrong.”
I thought for a moment. “Well, you did.”
“Excuse me,” Camlin raised an eyebrow, incensed at being accused to easily. “You climbed over me like I was a jungle gym.”
“As if you didn’t enjoy it. I did ask you not to call my mother.” I brushed away his teasing and reminded him mercilessly of why I was upset in one fell swoop. “ But I know you just wanted to make a connection with my parents.”
Dropping my forehead to rest against his pectoral, I could feel his nod of a response.
“You just wanted to be a good boyfriend.” I could feel my resolves melting with each acknowledgment of his intentions. And this time, his nod, which I imagined to be at least a little bit self-righteous, was just irritating.
“And I know that you were only trying to adhere to antiquated patriarchal ideas of courtship and romance that have been enforced by hundreds of years-“
Sensing my oncoming lecture and historical speech with his spidey senses, Camlin attempted to stop me. “Pam-“
But it didn’t work. “-of male dominated societal roles and warfare caused by continuous succession conflicts that were in turn caused by continual competition for the best mates, in terms of political alliances and-“
“Pam.”
“-child-bearing, as well as the continual influence the patriarchal hierarchy of ancient and modern day religions that emphasized the importance of the sanctity of marriage. Which, when I think about it, really was cemented in terms of today’s standards at the 24th session of the Council of Trent in-“
But Cam soon found the golden ticket, so to speak, to halt the rambling. “I will go call your parents again.”
Silence, for about five whole seconds. I did nothing but gape at him, still horrified at the prospect, even though I was slowly realizing that I couldn’t keep those two parts of my life apart forever. Finally, I said, “That’s what I need to talk to you about.”
“I agree.” Camlin didn’t fail to hold my gaze and let me know that I had his utmost attention. He wasn’t thinking about other packs, or his responsibilities back home, or even why it was, exactly, that we were driving across the country. It was only me.
He listened respectfully, quietly, while I explained to him why exactly it was such a big deal for him to speak to either my mother or my father. My appreciation for him grew exponentially as if didn’t berate me for being childish, or tell me that he was going to keep doing it anyway, to break me of my fear. (Seriously. A college boyfriend told me he was going to bring spiders into the house until I stopped feeling afraid of them. Suffice to say, that did not go over well). The more his green eyes held mine while I spoke, the more I felt that Camlin the man was understanding me, the more I felt nervous pressure in my chest release.
“But you did it anyway.” I finally reprimanded my wolf, and Camlin opened his mouth to respond, though not before I cut him off. “But I know why you did it.”
That surprised him, but he thought better of trying to prove me wrong. Instead, he yanked me forward until I collided with his chest. My nose protested, but I didn’t; it was getting chilly out, and the warmth was welcome. Besides, his old t-shirt smelled so good.
“Everything in me has to be dominant.” I felt his hands tighten at the small of my back. “Even before I was turned. I’ve never had to deal with a jelly donut before.” The inside joke made me smile against him, and I think, gave him confidence to continue.
It was like he still felt the need to explain himself. I had purged myself of my fears, and now he was feeling a resulting urge to repay me with his own. “I don’t know why it’s there, but it is. This is something that can’t be changed, Pam, not for anyone. The wolf is in me, and it’s not coming out.”
Pulling away, I took a deep breath of the cold night air, hoping to clear the Camlin-fog from my brain. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw dim shapes silhouetted in the open front door of the house - Jaimie, most likely - and could only hope that they didn’t try to intervene right then or there. I could no less ask Camlin to stop breathing, and I hoped our audience realized that. The electricity in the air, that I so seldom noticed anymore, tingled on my tongue.
“No one wants you to do that. Least of all me.” I took another deep breath, because I couldn’t imagine saying all these important things so close together. “Listen, we’re both new at this, despite the gigantic age gap. You are a wolf, inside, and you have to maintain your position and your dominance, but… you want to make allowances for me. I am a woman, and I have to preserve my self, but I want to fit in to your world, for you.”
“How do you suggest we do that?”
I shrugged, thoughtful. Things were easing now, between us. We’d both spoken our peaces, and we understood each other. At least more than we did. Somehow through all of this, our relationship had stopped being that kind that was labeled ‘shotgun’ and had started to become the kind that was labeled ‘comprehensive.’ It felt good to know that we had to work through things, and that, at the same time, we were able to.
“Well, you could loosen up a bit.”
“And you could stop telling me ‘no’ directly.” He shot back just as quickly, starting to smile a bit, so that I knew were officially past the argument. What was done, was done.
I grimaced a bit. “Mmm… And you could take into consideration when things are really important to me. And I could practice taking orders.”
Camlin laughed, and backed up so that he was leaning against my car, his legs braced, and returned to holding my hand. Shaking his shaggy hair back from his face, he asked, “How could you possibly practice taking orders? You?”
My grinning response only seemed to stump him more. I stepped in between the frame of his legs and leaned forward a bit. “For example, if right now, you ordered me to kiss you, well, that wouldn’t be so hard to obey.”
I’m telling you, my man is smart. Catching on immediately, he adopted a stern, flinty expression and crossed his arms over his chest. “Give me a kiss woman.”
“Your wish is my command.” I pecked him on the cheek.
He raised an eyebrow, and his eyes darkened alluringly, completely playing the part of displeased overlord. “Kiss me again.”
“Of course, my liege.” More mocking this time, but our lips connected briefly nevertheless.
Still left unsatisfied, he uncrossed his arms and tool hold of me by the shoulders, pulling me close so that we were staring straight into each other’s eyes, and a weaker woman would have crumbled right then. “Kiss me again.” His voice had gotten progressively deeper, and now it was positively gravelly.
I would have said something smart like, ‘My all-powerful king, I would die to fulfill your every command,’ but suddenly we were kissing, and there was no room for snark. It was all I could do to keep up and to enjoy.
We’d just parted, breathing erratic, when I heard the house’s screen door open on creaking hinges. “Are you two done being indecent out there?”
To my surprise, it was not the continual bane of my romantic existence, Jaimie. Rather, it was the Alpha’s right hand man, Denning, whom I was fast discovering to be a blonde, mischievous twin to my traveling companion. If I’d been pressed to compare them to book characters, it would have been the Weasley twins. Surprise, surprise.
“No, Camlin still has to grope my ass.” I called back, to the surprise and incense of my wolf. He just couldn’t shake those old-fashioned views on dirty laundry banter, poor man.
“Well do it inside, will you? We want to close up and do a sweep.” An important ritual for every pack, I was discovering. It was routine that every night, once things had settled down, that the doors and windows all be locked, and the perimeter prowled by wolves one last time before the pack went to sleep that night. I took a second to note how he never actually gave a direct order.
“I could tell them to shove it.” Camlin offered as we walked back to the house.
“Nah, I wanna go to bed. It’s been a long day.” I couldn’t have made a more obvious statement.
- - end of entry 09 - -
YAY! They're back together again. I'm thinking that this will be the end of the chapter, and that in the next chapter, once Pam and Cam are alone, that she should note the difference between him and his wolf, then ask to speak to the wolf directly. Possible, you think? Yes? No?
I'm wondering how that would play out. Let me know! Also, one more to go! I'm so close!
Entry Number: 09
Author: latemarch
Original
Rating: PG?
Genre: urban fantasy, romance
Spoiler Warnings: None
Word Count: 1600
Notes: This follows directly after Entry 08! Pam and Camlin finally resolve this argument that's been brewing for a few entries. It just takes some discussion, some allowances, and some good old fashions kissin.' Written on the fly, whenever inspiration struck. Apologies for any typos.
- - entry 09 - -
As if I couldn’t have loved Camlin more, he took a deep breath and turned to face me. His warm hands slid down my arms to hold my hands. And then he prepared to apologize.
I could just see it coming, the way he fought to keep his face composed, yet his wolf flared in his eyes. The way he was massaging the backs of my hands, as if to soften me up. It was all too much - he was trying too hard; he wasn’t used to explaining himself, much less apologizing, and one or both of us was going to end up making promises we couldn’t keep.
“Stop.” It seemed the most logical course of action. “No apologizing. Neither of us did anything that was really wrong.”
I thought for a moment. “Well, you did.”
“Excuse me,” Camlin raised an eyebrow, incensed at being accused to easily. “You climbed over me like I was a jungle gym.”
“As if you didn’t enjoy it. I did ask you not to call my mother.” I brushed away his teasing and reminded him mercilessly of why I was upset in one fell swoop. “ But I know you just wanted to make a connection with my parents.”
Dropping my forehead to rest against his pectoral, I could feel his nod of a response.
“You just wanted to be a good boyfriend.” I could feel my resolves melting with each acknowledgment of his intentions. And this time, his nod, which I imagined to be at least a little bit self-righteous, was just irritating.
“And I know that you were only trying to adhere to antiquated patriarchal ideas of courtship and romance that have been enforced by hundreds of years-“
Sensing my oncoming lecture and historical speech with his spidey senses, Camlin attempted to stop me. “Pam-“
But it didn’t work. “-of male dominated societal roles and warfare caused by continuous succession conflicts that were in turn caused by continual competition for the best mates, in terms of political alliances and-“
“Pam.”
“-child-bearing, as well as the continual influence the patriarchal hierarchy of ancient and modern day religions that emphasized the importance of the sanctity of marriage. Which, when I think about it, really was cemented in terms of today’s standards at the 24th session of the Council of Trent in-“
But Cam soon found the golden ticket, so to speak, to halt the rambling. “I will go call your parents again.”
Silence, for about five whole seconds. I did nothing but gape at him, still horrified at the prospect, even though I was slowly realizing that I couldn’t keep those two parts of my life apart forever. Finally, I said, “That’s what I need to talk to you about.”
“I agree.” Camlin didn’t fail to hold my gaze and let me know that I had his utmost attention. He wasn’t thinking about other packs, or his responsibilities back home, or even why it was, exactly, that we were driving across the country. It was only me.
He listened respectfully, quietly, while I explained to him why exactly it was such a big deal for him to speak to either my mother or my father. My appreciation for him grew exponentially as if didn’t berate me for being childish, or tell me that he was going to keep doing it anyway, to break me of my fear. (Seriously. A college boyfriend told me he was going to bring spiders into the house until I stopped feeling afraid of them. Suffice to say, that did not go over well). The more his green eyes held mine while I spoke, the more I felt that Camlin the man was understanding me, the more I felt nervous pressure in my chest release.
“But you did it anyway.” I finally reprimanded my wolf, and Camlin opened his mouth to respond, though not before I cut him off. “But I know why you did it.”
That surprised him, but he thought better of trying to prove me wrong. Instead, he yanked me forward until I collided with his chest. My nose protested, but I didn’t; it was getting chilly out, and the warmth was welcome. Besides, his old t-shirt smelled so good.
“Everything in me has to be dominant.” I felt his hands tighten at the small of my back. “Even before I was turned. I’ve never had to deal with a jelly donut before.” The inside joke made me smile against him, and I think, gave him confidence to continue.
It was like he still felt the need to explain himself. I had purged myself of my fears, and now he was feeling a resulting urge to repay me with his own. “I don’t know why it’s there, but it is. This is something that can’t be changed, Pam, not for anyone. The wolf is in me, and it’s not coming out.”
Pulling away, I took a deep breath of the cold night air, hoping to clear the Camlin-fog from my brain. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw dim shapes silhouetted in the open front door of the house - Jaimie, most likely - and could only hope that they didn’t try to intervene right then or there. I could no less ask Camlin to stop breathing, and I hoped our audience realized that. The electricity in the air, that I so seldom noticed anymore, tingled on my tongue.
“No one wants you to do that. Least of all me.” I took another deep breath, because I couldn’t imagine saying all these important things so close together. “Listen, we’re both new at this, despite the gigantic age gap. You are a wolf, inside, and you have to maintain your position and your dominance, but… you want to make allowances for me. I am a woman, and I have to preserve my self, but I want to fit in to your world, for you.”
“How do you suggest we do that?”
I shrugged, thoughtful. Things were easing now, between us. We’d both spoken our peaces, and we understood each other. At least more than we did. Somehow through all of this, our relationship had stopped being that kind that was labeled ‘shotgun’ and had started to become the kind that was labeled ‘comprehensive.’ It felt good to know that we had to work through things, and that, at the same time, we were able to.
“Well, you could loosen up a bit.”
“And you could stop telling me ‘no’ directly.” He shot back just as quickly, starting to smile a bit, so that I knew were officially past the argument. What was done, was done.
I grimaced a bit. “Mmm… And you could take into consideration when things are really important to me. And I could practice taking orders.”
Camlin laughed, and backed up so that he was leaning against my car, his legs braced, and returned to holding my hand. Shaking his shaggy hair back from his face, he asked, “How could you possibly practice taking orders? You?”
My grinning response only seemed to stump him more. I stepped in between the frame of his legs and leaned forward a bit. “For example, if right now, you ordered me to kiss you, well, that wouldn’t be so hard to obey.”
I’m telling you, my man is smart. Catching on immediately, he adopted a stern, flinty expression and crossed his arms over his chest. “Give me a kiss woman.”
“Your wish is my command.” I pecked him on the cheek.
He raised an eyebrow, and his eyes darkened alluringly, completely playing the part of displeased overlord. “Kiss me again.”
“Of course, my liege.” More mocking this time, but our lips connected briefly nevertheless.
Still left unsatisfied, he uncrossed his arms and tool hold of me by the shoulders, pulling me close so that we were staring straight into each other’s eyes, and a weaker woman would have crumbled right then. “Kiss me again.” His voice had gotten progressively deeper, and now it was positively gravelly.
I would have said something smart like, ‘My all-powerful king, I would die to fulfill your every command,’ but suddenly we were kissing, and there was no room for snark. It was all I could do to keep up and to enjoy.
We’d just parted, breathing erratic, when I heard the house’s screen door open on creaking hinges. “Are you two done being indecent out there?”
To my surprise, it was not the continual bane of my romantic existence, Jaimie. Rather, it was the Alpha’s right hand man, Denning, whom I was fast discovering to be a blonde, mischievous twin to my traveling companion. If I’d been pressed to compare them to book characters, it would have been the Weasley twins. Surprise, surprise.
“No, Camlin still has to grope my ass.” I called back, to the surprise and incense of my wolf. He just couldn’t shake those old-fashioned views on dirty laundry banter, poor man.
“Well do it inside, will you? We want to close up and do a sweep.” An important ritual for every pack, I was discovering. It was routine that every night, once things had settled down, that the doors and windows all be locked, and the perimeter prowled by wolves one last time before the pack went to sleep that night. I took a second to note how he never actually gave a direct order.
“I could tell them to shove it.” Camlin offered as we walked back to the house.
“Nah, I wanna go to bed. It’s been a long day.” I couldn’t have made a more obvious statement.
- - end of entry 09 - -
YAY! They're back together again. I'm thinking that this will be the end of the chapter, and that in the next chapter, once Pam and Cam are alone, that she should note the difference between him and his wolf, then ask to speak to the wolf directly. Possible, you think? Yes? No?
I'm wondering how that would play out. Let me know! Also, one more to go! I'm so close!