Ok, I know I say this all the time, but I seriously need your help this time...
For reals. I finished my HONEST TO GOODNESS Emerson essay. It's due the 15th, and I have to get this thing in as soon as possible. Please give me any advice that you can possibly spare. Thankyouthankyouthankyou!
( OMG ESSAY! )
( OMG ESSAY! )
Comments 2
well you didn't really answer the question...you talk about the experience that has had an impact on you... but how did it change you from what you were to what you are today. and then you should apply those attributes which you gained from the expereince at the theater to your potential future at emmerson.
they want to know what you are going to bring to their univeristy that is unique. They care about their image and want you to enhance it. sell yourself.
grammar wise.. don't use contractions. and your conclusion should directly reflect your intro... you say you have always wanted to be a self-confident, assertive person... well are you??
you talk a lot about how great the experience was for you, but you need to talk about how your life has been different since the change.
I think you have a good concept going.. good luck!!!!
ok so yea... sorry.. that was a lot but I want you to get in!!!!! I hope all is well and have a great great holiday!!!
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just a couple things that struck me without looking too hard...
"best job ever" I would re-arrange that....and in the following sentence, too many to's..it's repetative...
I agree with the above comment.. this is a good story but you need to make it clear why this experience changed you and how introspective and wonderful you are because of your experiences! I also feel like it needs to get more descriptive to draw the reader into the story.
Plus the prompt asks you to describe how it will shape your future at the college...so I am second to say this, sell yourself!
You are a very unique and passionate person, and you have a lot to give this school....remember that! Good luck!
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