Mihi Dic
Mihi Dic / (Chapter two) 'Challenging the Unsaid'
Mihi Dice
Chapter Two: Challenging the Unsaid
The next quiet dinner the Doctor shared with the Commodore was welcome and the time between had not been without its reserve and avoidance. But Jack was prepared to attack this obstacle head on, though he wasn’t sure exactly how. Rushing into a questioning could backfire, even with an intimate friendship. He understood that there were things that should remain secrets as far as ‘business’ was concerned. He was aware that Stephen would not hand over any information that might compromise him or his crew, under enemy pressure. But something about the Doctor’s mood told Jack that it wasn’t official business that made him look so ill and weary. It was something else entirely, something deep and hidden. But what reason would he have to hide it? Fear perhaps, fear of being misunderstood, fear of appearing week? That was a thought that triggered many others in Jacks mind and he smiled in spite of himself and glanced up to see if Stephen had noticed. Lukily he was quietly savoring the good meal before him and paying Jack’s silence no mind.
Jack’s mind went on to elaborate on his current thought. Stephen Maturin: smaller than he, to a great extent. On the outside not very durable, pale and ill looking on his mediocre days. Yet it was Stephen who held up the façade, the false appearance of solidity in their friendship. On the other hand, Jack himself was more likely to fly into an emotional rage or fall quickly to tears in an appropriate circumstance. Years at sea, a great deal of whippings in my past and right proper Naval discipline and here I am the sentimental of us two. Jack thought and finally he looked up, cleared his throat and…
“Stephen…” Began his booming voice and he coughed in surprise at his volume.
“Stephen,” He started again, more softly. “I’ve been meaning to speak with you if you will permit me.”
Stephen looked up in anticipation but did not speak, rather, he nodded in agreement. Blue eyes betraying nothing as he waited.
Jack was discouraged by this. He had hoped to get a few words from Stephen before he began.
“When you came aboard after the Neriede,” Stephen nodded again. “You explained to me the facts of the battle but not why you were so weary, you did not indulge my curiosity,” Here Jack became louder and more insistent. “And I have remained silent for days, brother, and I expect if it is at all possible you will share with me why you were so ill when you returned.” He calmed and added, “And why it has been so quiet with us since.”
Jack wasn’t quite sure if he meant their talk or their music but both had been quite stifled as of late. Stephen’s expression and not changed and he leaned back in his chair.
“Is that all?” He asked in conversational tone. Jack’s brow furrowed.
“Well…yes, no, no that is not all, but it will make a good start.”
Stephen finally laughed at Jack. “My dear, are you feeling a bit insecure?” He said still chuckling as Killick ventured in to remove what they had finished. Jack glared at Stephen and his laughter and then at Killick, who grumbled audibly.
“Which I can’t read minds ya know. Wants me to leave he ought to say so. Don’t want me to come at all, he ought to say so…” And so on as he disappeared through the door, slamming it in irritation.
“Well, Jack, would you like me to start with my great dive into the ocean?” Stephen exclaimed, still smiling, guarding the severity, least is come out and bit them both.
Jack put his head in his hands, humiliated at the whole thing.
“I care not where you start Stephen.” He said indifferently. “Do you not see this only stems from my concern? If I did not care for you I would not ask you theses things. I would say ‘suck it up and go on man!’ And I would most likely boot you out of my cabin to sleep in your sick berth!”
It was Stephen’s turn to feel a bit humiliated. He misgauged Jack’s mood and therefore made light of something that was obviously sensitive to the Englishman.
“Forgive me Jack. I will tell you what has made me so ill and weary and why I’m most glad to be here with you again.”
*Needs reviews*