Comments | nyuanshin: For the Record

nyuanshin

For the Record

Feb 02, 2010 11:27

I posted this as a note to Facebook and it got a positive response, so I'm putting it here too. It came out of a weird, intense week and is consequently pretty rough-edged and ex cathedra, but probably better for that.
( clearing decks )

life, control, love

Comments 6

This is wise (meaning "I agree") colinmarshall February 3 2010, 22:52:51 UTC

Especially the bits about how "you can't control someone else's behavior. Ever" and "they will do what they will." I have found myself pretty much abandoning all pretense to control - or even much influence, really - over anyone else's actions. This hasn't come as a result of any recent troubles in that part of life; it's been more like one operation of a larger change in mindset. But man, could I have used it back in high school.

Re: This is wise (meaning "I agree") nyuanshin February 8 2010, 17:22:37 UTC

Yeah. This is actually just a very small thread from a very large tapestry of conceptual re-alignments I've been going through for the past several months -- this one in particular just had relevance, not just for me but for some other people's situations.

csn February 7 2010, 06:08:04 UTC

..and I'm still looking.

nyuanshin February 8 2010, 17:20:39 UTC

Connecting with people who are on the same wavelength can be difficult because not only do you have to find them (people hide themselves a lot, often in plain sight), you have to spend a lot of time establishing a safe space -- draining the swamp of assumptions just to prove to people that there are no alligators lurking. I'm starting to use Facebook as a beacon -- putting all my cards on the table in a public fashion and seeing what bites. I'll let you know how it goes.

csn February 7 2010, 06:09:21 UTC

p.s.http://www.viruscomix.com/page509.html

nyuanshin February 8 2010, 17:12:20 UTC

Whatever else one might say about pickup artistry (and I have much to say, at some point), it kills this shit dead -- just having a set of heuristics in place that work in 80% of interactions *and* satisfy the rational faculty was worth the price of wading through the morass of facile chauvanism and egotism present in the material & community. Reading this comic felt surprisingly like remembering an extinct self, which is pretty fantastic.