The strange case of Doctor Insano and Spoony One: Chapter 1- An apple a day…

[nuttersinc]

Story title: The strange case of Doctor Insano and Spoony One
Chapter title: Chapter 1- An apple a day…
Story Summery: Doctor Insano takes control of Spoony and kidnaps SOI from the clone Insano. The only one who can stop him from conquering/ destroying the world is his clone (Clonesano), who wants his son back, but Clonesano will need to teem up

Comments

*unstoppable editing urge away!*

[jemilee_36]

First: I like this story. The family interaction is cute (mostly SoI who is ... well ... SoI). Some character bits were a little OOC, but nothing major enough to take me out of the story or change the character voice in my head.

Now the nitpicks/corrections ... sorry if my online "red pen" makes your story bleed, but these grammar/spelling errors were the only things that really bugged me. With that said:

It was as closest as he ever really got to casual cloths.
It was the closest he ever got to wearing casual clothes.

"sugared" not "sugar" popcorn

"displeasure" not "displacer" of his father

"museum founder" sounds better than creator

"saying" not " telling" he knew nothing about science

Next week is my "choice" again

I’ll turn "your" skin blue

popcorn "kernels" not husks

pesticides not "pester sides"

following "through" on his threat

"tentacle" made card

weekly food "shopping"

"pencil" holder

ever since "discovering"

In conclusion - can't wait to see where the story is going in Chapter 2 ;)

Re: *unstoppable editing urge away!*

[nuttersinc]

Thanks. I’m glad you like it and thank you for pointing out my mistakes. I’ve made the changes now. Would you like to become my second beta as well as ladyhadhafang? I really need all the help I can get.

Re: *unstoppable editing urge away!*

[jemilee_36]

Sure! I might as well edit a fic since I don't have time to get my own off the ground XD

[nuttersinc]

Thanks for commenting I’m glade you are enjoying the story so far.