I've always considered myself to be a hopeful person, an optermistic. Even through all the bad things I've gone through, I could always see over their heads and onto the clearing. I knew that with every bad there's a good. But, I've come to the realisation that I've lost all hope I had. I've lost my faith.

I always relied on the fact that the ( Read more... )

I know I'm spamming like crazy tonight, but I'm having another two fillings tomorrow, and you all know how much I freaked out about the first one. I'll probably have another panic-fit-crying-attack-thing. BOOO :(

My dad is a fucking cunt. Every time, I think he'll change, but he never does. I'm HIS DAUGHTER. How can a father treat someone they're meant to love like this? We found out that the mistress he's had a year long affair with, the one that had supposedly stopped, never did. They went on fucking holiday together, and the first we hear is when he's ( Read more... )

I haven't felt this unappreciated in a long time. I feel really used and unwanted, or at least unneeded. I keep imagining them laughing behind my back at how pathetic I am. And the worst thing is that she think she's better than me, and I know she isn't, at all. Friends aren't meant to make you feel this way. :(

The Spa day was really good. I got a back massage which was PHENOMENAL, and also a foot treatment thing where they put lots of crap on them, then some mud and wrapped them in cling film, lol. Me and my Mum didn't get into any fights, which surprised me. It was really fun, and I didn't even feel that self conscience in a swimming costume. I'll go on ( Read more... )

I'm scared that this thing with my Dad is going to be one of my biggest regrets in life. I really love him, and it hurts so much to not be able to hang out with him like I used to. He always used to say that I was his best friend. I loved being that. I miss being that so much. I don't know what to do, guys. I really don't know anymore.

Okay, so I suppose I'd better update and tell you all about how horrid my past week and a half has been. My Mum chucked my Dad out on the 6th. Long story short, my Dad had a year long affair stemming from the end of 2005 till the end of 2006. He was frequently found out, and he tried to wriggle out of it with excuses and the such, but he was always ( Read more... )

I really, REALLY, want to punch someone right now.
I am livid.
My hands are shaking.
Fuck.