The Nooner (Ben/Leslie, NC-17)
Title: The Nooner
Pairing: Ben/Leslie
Rating: NC-17
Timeline: Season 4, post-Campaign Ad
Summary: Now that Leslie is clear on what a nooner is, she's all over it.
Cautionary Tags: Smut, Oral Sex, Doggy-Style
Notes: Written for, "ben eats leslie out from behind whaaaaaat yes," at the kinkmeme, because how could that not happen? Now with bonus material in the comments section. Yay!
This is all Jerry's fault, Leslie thinks, as she pulls her car up outside of Ben's house. If Jerry hadn't droned on and on in the most boring way possible and then mixed up the powerpoint slides during his reservoir and coliform bacteria levels presentation, her mind wouldn't have wandered to thoughts of Ben--her amazing campaign manager and boyfriend. Like how he had looked just this morning when she left to go to work and he'd kissed her goodbye--a wiry, sexy temptation in a brown v-neck sweater, plaid button-up shirt, and skinny tie. Not to mention the tight pants that molded perfectly to his amazing, flat butt. Or his great, gravity-defying hair.
Sure, that's how it started but then pretty soon she was sitting in the conference room, thoughts returning to how Ben had felt last night when he had pressed into her and she had wrapped her legs up around his hips, the noise from April and Andy's loud marshmallow gun fight out in the living room hardly registering, as she clung around him. Or how Ben had kissed her later, first lightly on both eyelids and then the tip of her nose, before falling asleep snuggled up next to her. Or any number of evenings over the last two months that she's spent wiggling, writhing, licking, and cuddling against him. And then really, any notions of paying attention to Jerry's slides or work productivity just kind of went to hell.
But, honestly, without Jerry's incompetence, she wouldn't be in this incredibly tense, wound-up predicament. So, way to go, Jerry!
Her next thought is, ewww, stop thinking about Jerry right now.
Once all traces of that un-named person from work are gone from her mind, Leslie realizes how awesome it is that she can park right outside Ben's house in the middle of the day. For a nooner...and then she can't help but giggle just a bit.
Well, okay, maybe she shouldn't actually advertise that part--having a nooner with her campaign manager would probably still be frowned upon. But a nooner with her smart, lean, virile antelope of a boyfriend is totally, completely fine. Ann had even agreed with this theory when Leslie had texted to get her opinion before leaving City Hall.
Of course, she could be stopping by to discuss campaign strategy, so it's perfectly fine to leave her car right out front where anyone might see it. Nothing out of the ordinary or inappropriate going on here. Nope. Not at all. Oh wait, unless jumping on Ben and attacking his penis with her lady parts during the day is a little inappropriate? No, it's fine, she reminds herself. They're in love with each other--it's in the official court transcript and everything.
And as much as she is looking forward to this, she also has a ton of work to get done this afternoon--she even has an appointment later to go see a guy about making her a cryptex. She's a busy government employee and city council candidate and she can't just sit around and think about Ben all day, no matter how cute and sexy he is, how much she loves him, or how discreetly she manages to rub her thighs together under her desk every so often.
When she uses her key to open the door and step inside, her greeting comes out a little breathlessly but he doesn't seem to notice that she's about ready to explode. So, that's good. Leslie was thinking she'd just surprise him with that part.
"Oh, hi. Were we supposed to meet now?" He seems surprised to see her, but happy too.
"No, no. Just...I thought I'd stop by for lunch with you."
Ben stands up from the table where he's got his laptop open, a bunch of papers spread out, and a cup of coffee to the side. He's all smiles, soft sweater, and plaid shirt as he walks over to her. "I'm not sure there's much food here. I was actually going to come by City Hall in just a bit and get lunch with you," he looks her over. "Wait, did you bring food?"
"No. That's fine. Whatever. We can eat later. I need to show you something," she grabs his hand and starts leading him towards his bedroom.
"In my room?"
"Yes."
"Okay." He's still doing that thing where he's all cute and confused, when she turns around abruptly and kisses him. Then she uses her foot to kick his bedroom door shut like she invented this whole sex-at-lunchtime game.
"Um, what's happening here?"
"We're having a nooner," she tells him, trying to undo his belt.
"We are? But it's barely 11:30," he responds somewhat, well obtusely she can't help but think, and even though he seems to know what a nooner is, he's still managing to look just a bit baffled, and oh my god, how does he not get this? He's so smart usually.
"Okay--let's have an 11:30-er, then." While she's talking she stops working on his pants and switches to hers. After unbuttoning and unzipping her trousers, Leslie grabs his hand and pushes it down into her underwear--if her words aren't doing the trick, maybe actions will? Then has to shut her eyes against the sensations as his fingers begin to explore and slide around in her thoroughly soaked folds. He rubs against her clit and she practically squeals with delight.
"Jesus," he stares at her for a second. "Well...I can't possibly send you back to work in this condition."
"No. No you can't," she agrees, shaking her head. "That would be very mean."
"Right. And neither of us want that. Okay, this is definitely happening...even if it isn't noon yet," he grins. Then pulls his hand out of her pants, ignoring her protests at the loss of contact. "You should take off all of your clothes," Ben suggests, moving a couple of steps back.
"You too," she responds, already starting to unbutton her blouse while he stands there and watches, something between a smirk and a look of awe forming on his face. "Ben, come on!"
"Nope. You first. This was your idea, Leslie."
"So you're just going to watch me get naked?"
"Yes," he confirms with a definitely all too self-satisfied grin now.
She raises an eyebrow but resumes undressing with a fair amount of enthusiasm. "Yeah, fine. I'm okay with that."
***
It feels a little weird to be totally undressed while he's fully clothed but it's also pretty sexy, so she's not complaining. Although, she kind of wishes she was wearing a pair of fingerless gloves--because that would be super-sexy.
"You tackled me the other day." It's a statement and not a question, muttered softly between kisses, as his hands wind through her hair and she presses close to him.
"I said I was sorry. It was a heat of the moment thing," Leslie tries to explain again, although he does sound amused rather than mad. "Besides, it worked out. I love the ad we made together."
"Me too. But, no, I know. I'm just thinking..." He trails off, running his hands down her sides and over the curve of her hips, brushing his fingertips lightly over her ass.
"You want to tackle me? Try to take me down?" Leslie asks.
Ben laughs. "Hmmm, maybe later. Right now...I have an idea on how you can make it up to me. Turn around," he says and before she can really do anything he spins her around himself. His hands slide up to cup her breasts, rubbing his fingers against her nipples, as he pulls her closer to him, her back flush against his chest and his already hard dick.
"And get on the bed," here he pauses to suck on the skin of her neck, moving them both closer to the end of his bed with small steps, while Leslie moans. "On your hands and knees." This last part comes out as a whispered order in her ear and she's so turned on her knees almost buckle under her while her stomach flips over.
They haven't done it like that since before they'd broken up. And then it was only a couple of times...but, she had really, really liked it. He might have gotten off to a slow start this afternoon but yeah, he was completely catching up now.
When she's all situated, before she can even look back at him, Ben stretches out across her back, one hand slipping around her side to cup and fondle a breast again. He gives her nipple a firm pinch while he kisses the back of her neck, pressing hard against her. And while he's always seemed to make an extra effort to make sure she's really drenched and ready the few times they've done it like this, she's been more than ready to go for about an hour and a half now and he really just needs to move this whole thing along.
"Ben? Babe. Babe. You need to fuck me now. Ben? At least...god, move your hands lower. Ben."
"As adorable as it is, I don't really think you're in any position to dictate what I do, when." His voice is low and gravelly and she lets a shudder roll through her body, feeling his soft sweater rub against her bare back. "You just have to be patient."
"Hi...have you met me?"
He laughs against her, then peppers the area between her shoulder blades with little kisses. "Just try. For me."
She's quiet for about a minute as his hands explore her body--everywhere except where she really wants him to be. "Please..."
"Please what?" He teases, working his hands past her breasts and down to her stomach.
Leslie groans in response. "Touch me."
"I am," he answers and she can hear the smile in his voice and she kind of wants to hit him.
"Lower," she gasps out. "God, you wanted me in this position...now do something dirty to me already."
"Then tell me where you want me to touch you," he tells her, his breath hot against her neck.
"Ben, you know where." Is she whining? She thinks she's whining but she doesn't care.
He straightens up behind her and moves his hand down to the front of her thigh. "Here?"
She shoves back against him in frustration, feels him wonderfully hard against her ass.
"Or maybe here?" He asks, brushing his fingertips lightly against her mound, swirling around her curls, but going no further down.
"Bennnnn..."
"Sorry. Sorry...I like teasing," he says.
"I know you...ohhhh." His hands slide up to her hips again and pull her back with a jerk and then his tongue is working against her, and holy crap, he's never done it like this before, while she's naked and on all fours and he's behind her. His nose presses and prods against her wetness while he licks at her clit, using the very tip to flutter and tap lightly against the sensitive little ball of nerves. And when he brings his mouth back up to her opening, pushing his tongue inside of her, Leslie's not really sure who's moaning louder. All she can really think about is that she's so soaked and desperate for release and his tongue is all soft and wet, and god, it just all feels so fucking, amazingly good.
On his next pass he pauses to suck and kiss the soft flesh of her ass--she thinks he might even be giving her a hickey and she has to press her face flat against the mattress and groan into it before he's back at her clit, licking and sucking at her, his nose practically pushing into her and she starts to worry that maybe he can't breathe. But he'd totally say something if he couldn't, right?
Leslie starts rocking her hips, pushing back against him rhythmically, letting the waves of pleasure slowly build and build until she's spasming against him, unable to do much more than hold still and let her orgasm roll through her, all the while Ben's fingers dig into her thighs, pulling her back and holding her tightly against his mouth, still working her gently as she shudders through it all.
"God, I love making you come with my mouth," he tells her after he pulls away and before she can even agree with his sentiment, she hears him unzipping his pants. A couple of seconds later Ben pushes inside and finally, wonderfully, thankfully, really starts to fuck her.
Something about the way he's almost roughly gripping at her hips, how the inside of her thighs are all wet from a mix of her juices and his mouth, and the way her hardened nipples are brushing against his disheveled plaid comforter is ratcheting everything all up again, because holy fuck. She starts gasping with each of his quick, deep thrusts, before he slows it down, pulls almost all the way out and then slowly pushes all the way back in. She feels like her knees are spreading open even more and she's kind of sinking down, but then he pulls her hips up, readjusting her ass up high in the air.
"Thank you," she manages to get out between gasps.
"You're welcome, m'dear," he answers.
She starts laughing. "Wow, all of a sudden this got...very polite and proper," Leslie tells him.
"I can feel you laughing," he says and she's pretty sure that Ben's trying not to laugh himself before he wraps an arm around her waist and works his hand lower, brushing his fingers against her clit. "Do you think you can again?"
"Oh, I think we should give it a try."
"A very serious try," he agrees, circling her clit while speeding up his thrusts from behind. And regardless of being almost too-sensitive for a second round, Leslie's quickly yelling out, not even bothering to muffle her cries with his pillow since they've got the house to themselves, contracting and shuddering again as his fingers work their magic over her clit, his cock pounding into her. It's practically no time at all before she feels Ben fall right along after her.
Afterwards, they end up snuggled together on his bed, Leslie's body fitting perfectly against his side. His pants and sweater are off now, but he's still wearing his shirt, tie, and boxers. And also socks--so cute, she can't help but think.
"Well. Mmmmmm, I think I can go back to work now. You're such a great and skillful campaign manager-slash-boyfriend."
"Hmmm," he mumbles against her hair. "Thanks? Glad I could help with your....situation. Bt the way, what brought that on? Did you get an email appeal from Joe Biden or something?"
"Oh, ha ha, Ben. That only happened that one time. And the subject line was I Need You--I mean come on, he's more of a tease than you are."
"Wait...what?"
"No, you sexy, unsuspecting antelope, I was thinking about you," she assures him, kissing his jaw line. There's really no need to mention Jerry's role in it all right now, while they're lying in bed, because that's just gross.
"Well, okay, then," he grins back at her. "So, I know this sort of thing doesn't traditionally involve food, and I don't mean to brag, but that was some pretty next-level nooner action. I think you should buy me lunch."
"Well, that's pretty....cocky," she grins. "Wait. What do you mean? Nooners don't involve lunch?"
"It's sex instead of lunch--although, I guess I did kind of just eat," he says with a grin.
"Very funny. But, seriously, that can't be right. Are you sure? I think it's sex and then lunch. Or, maybe, lunch and then sex? Like a light lunch because you'll need some energy but nothing too heavy...because of the sex?"
Ben shakes his head, while he kind of just stares at her breasts, not like he's objectifying her, but like he's just really into her boobs. Which is...more than okay.
"Well, that's just ridiculous. Any nooners we have are going to be followed by food. And, yeah, I'll definitely buy you lunch. JJ's?"
"No. I'm sorry but after that, I really think that I deserve a calzone," he tells her.
"You want me to reward you...with a post-sex calzone?"
"Yes. That's exactly what I want."
Leslie sighs, then reluctantly nods. "Alright. If my man wants a post-sex calzone, I'll get my man a post-sex calzone. Even if calzones are kind of pointless and stupid. Just let me get dressed."
"Good. But no judging of course," he grabs her hand and pulls her back down onto the bed.
"No judging. Although. Honestly, Ben. It's just pizza that's harder to--" But then he stops her words with a kiss and Leslie forgets all about how silly calzones are, post-sex or otherwise.
Pairing: Ben/Leslie
Rating: NC-17
Timeline: Season 4, post-Campaign Ad
Summary: Now that Leslie is clear on what a nooner is, she's all over it.
Cautionary Tags: Smut, Oral Sex, Doggy-Style
Notes: Written for, "ben eats leslie out from behind whaaaaaat yes," at the kinkmeme, because how could that not happen? Now with bonus material in the comments section. Yay!
This is all Jerry's fault, Leslie thinks, as she pulls her car up outside of Ben's house. If Jerry hadn't droned on and on in the most boring way possible and then mixed up the powerpoint slides during his reservoir and coliform bacteria levels presentation, her mind wouldn't have wandered to thoughts of Ben--her amazing campaign manager and boyfriend. Like how he had looked just this morning when she left to go to work and he'd kissed her goodbye--a wiry, sexy temptation in a brown v-neck sweater, plaid button-up shirt, and skinny tie. Not to mention the tight pants that molded perfectly to his amazing, flat butt. Or his great, gravity-defying hair.
Sure, that's how it started but then pretty soon she was sitting in the conference room, thoughts returning to how Ben had felt last night when he had pressed into her and she had wrapped her legs up around his hips, the noise from April and Andy's loud marshmallow gun fight out in the living room hardly registering, as she clung around him. Or how Ben had kissed her later, first lightly on both eyelids and then the tip of her nose, before falling asleep snuggled up next to her. Or any number of evenings over the last two months that she's spent wiggling, writhing, licking, and cuddling against him. And then really, any notions of paying attention to Jerry's slides or work productivity just kind of went to hell.
But, honestly, without Jerry's incompetence, she wouldn't be in this incredibly tense, wound-up predicament. So, way to go, Jerry!
Her next thought is, ewww, stop thinking about Jerry right now.
Once all traces of that un-named person from work are gone from her mind, Leslie realizes how awesome it is that she can park right outside Ben's house in the middle of the day. For a nooner...and then she can't help but giggle just a bit.
Well, okay, maybe she shouldn't actually advertise that part--having a nooner with her campaign manager would probably still be frowned upon. But a nooner with her smart, lean, virile antelope of a boyfriend is totally, completely fine. Ann had even agreed with this theory when Leslie had texted to get her opinion before leaving City Hall.
Of course, she could be stopping by to discuss campaign strategy, so it's perfectly fine to leave her car right out front where anyone might see it. Nothing out of the ordinary or inappropriate going on here. Nope. Not at all. Oh wait, unless jumping on Ben and attacking his penis with her lady parts during the day is a little inappropriate? No, it's fine, she reminds herself. They're in love with each other--it's in the official court transcript and everything.
And as much as she is looking forward to this, she also has a ton of work to get done this afternoon--she even has an appointment later to go see a guy about making her a cryptex. She's a busy government employee and city council candidate and she can't just sit around and think about Ben all day, no matter how cute and sexy he is, how much she loves him, or how discreetly she manages to rub her thighs together under her desk every so often.
When she uses her key to open the door and step inside, her greeting comes out a little breathlessly but he doesn't seem to notice that she's about ready to explode. So, that's good. Leslie was thinking she'd just surprise him with that part.
"Oh, hi. Were we supposed to meet now?" He seems surprised to see her, but happy too.
"No, no. Just...I thought I'd stop by for lunch with you."
Ben stands up from the table where he's got his laptop open, a bunch of papers spread out, and a cup of coffee to the side. He's all smiles, soft sweater, and plaid shirt as he walks over to her. "I'm not sure there's much food here. I was actually going to come by City Hall in just a bit and get lunch with you," he looks her over. "Wait, did you bring food?"
"No. That's fine. Whatever. We can eat later. I need to show you something," she grabs his hand and starts leading him towards his bedroom.
"In my room?"
"Yes."
"Okay." He's still doing that thing where he's all cute and confused, when she turns around abruptly and kisses him. Then she uses her foot to kick his bedroom door shut like she invented this whole sex-at-lunchtime game.
"Um, what's happening here?"
"We're having a nooner," she tells him, trying to undo his belt.
"We are? But it's barely 11:30," he responds somewhat, well obtusely she can't help but think, and even though he seems to know what a nooner is, he's still managing to look just a bit baffled, and oh my god, how does he not get this? He's so smart usually.
"Okay--let's have an 11:30-er, then." While she's talking she stops working on his pants and switches to hers. After unbuttoning and unzipping her trousers, Leslie grabs his hand and pushes it down into her underwear--if her words aren't doing the trick, maybe actions will? Then has to shut her eyes against the sensations as his fingers begin to explore and slide around in her thoroughly soaked folds. He rubs against her clit and she practically squeals with delight.
"Jesus," he stares at her for a second. "Well...I can't possibly send you back to work in this condition."
"No. No you can't," she agrees, shaking her head. "That would be very mean."
"Right. And neither of us want that. Okay, this is definitely happening...even if it isn't noon yet," he grins. Then pulls his hand out of her pants, ignoring her protests at the loss of contact. "You should take off all of your clothes," Ben suggests, moving a couple of steps back.
"You too," she responds, already starting to unbutton her blouse while he stands there and watches, something between a smirk and a look of awe forming on his face. "Ben, come on!"
"Nope. You first. This was your idea, Leslie."
"So you're just going to watch me get naked?"
"Yes," he confirms with a definitely all too self-satisfied grin now.
She raises an eyebrow but resumes undressing with a fair amount of enthusiasm. "Yeah, fine. I'm okay with that."
***
It feels a little weird to be totally undressed while he's fully clothed but it's also pretty sexy, so she's not complaining. Although, she kind of wishes she was wearing a pair of fingerless gloves--because that would be super-sexy.
"You tackled me the other day." It's a statement and not a question, muttered softly between kisses, as his hands wind through her hair and she presses close to him.
"I said I was sorry. It was a heat of the moment thing," Leslie tries to explain again, although he does sound amused rather than mad. "Besides, it worked out. I love the ad we made together."
"Me too. But, no, I know. I'm just thinking..." He trails off, running his hands down her sides and over the curve of her hips, brushing his fingertips lightly over her ass.
"You want to tackle me? Try to take me down?" Leslie asks.
Ben laughs. "Hmmm, maybe later. Right now...I have an idea on how you can make it up to me. Turn around," he says and before she can really do anything he spins her around himself. His hands slide up to cup her breasts, rubbing his fingers against her nipples, as he pulls her closer to him, her back flush against his chest and his already hard dick.
"And get on the bed," here he pauses to suck on the skin of her neck, moving them both closer to the end of his bed with small steps, while Leslie moans. "On your hands and knees." This last part comes out as a whispered order in her ear and she's so turned on her knees almost buckle under her while her stomach flips over.
They haven't done it like that since before they'd broken up. And then it was only a couple of times...but, she had really, really liked it. He might have gotten off to a slow start this afternoon but yeah, he was completely catching up now.
When she's all situated, before she can even look back at him, Ben stretches out across her back, one hand slipping around her side to cup and fondle a breast again. He gives her nipple a firm pinch while he kisses the back of her neck, pressing hard against her. And while he's always seemed to make an extra effort to make sure she's really drenched and ready the few times they've done it like this, she's been more than ready to go for about an hour and a half now and he really just needs to move this whole thing along.
"Ben? Babe. Babe. You need to fuck me now. Ben? At least...god, move your hands lower. Ben."
"As adorable as it is, I don't really think you're in any position to dictate what I do, when." His voice is low and gravelly and she lets a shudder roll through her body, feeling his soft sweater rub against her bare back. "You just have to be patient."
"Hi...have you met me?"
He laughs against her, then peppers the area between her shoulder blades with little kisses. "Just try. For me."
She's quiet for about a minute as his hands explore her body--everywhere except where she really wants him to be. "Please..."
"Please what?" He teases, working his hands past her breasts and down to her stomach.
Leslie groans in response. "Touch me."
"I am," he answers and she can hear the smile in his voice and she kind of wants to hit him.
"Lower," she gasps out. "God, you wanted me in this position...now do something dirty to me already."
"Then tell me where you want me to touch you," he tells her, his breath hot against her neck.
"Ben, you know where." Is she whining? She thinks she's whining but she doesn't care.
He straightens up behind her and moves his hand down to the front of her thigh. "Here?"
She shoves back against him in frustration, feels him wonderfully hard against her ass.
"Or maybe here?" He asks, brushing his fingertips lightly against her mound, swirling around her curls, but going no further down.
"Bennnnn..."
"Sorry. Sorry...I like teasing," he says.
"I know you...ohhhh." His hands slide up to her hips again and pull her back with a jerk and then his tongue is working against her, and holy crap, he's never done it like this before, while she's naked and on all fours and he's behind her. His nose presses and prods against her wetness while he licks at her clit, using the very tip to flutter and tap lightly against the sensitive little ball of nerves. And when he brings his mouth back up to her opening, pushing his tongue inside of her, Leslie's not really sure who's moaning louder. All she can really think about is that she's so soaked and desperate for release and his tongue is all soft and wet, and god, it just all feels so fucking, amazingly good.
On his next pass he pauses to suck and kiss the soft flesh of her ass--she thinks he might even be giving her a hickey and she has to press her face flat against the mattress and groan into it before he's back at her clit, licking and sucking at her, his nose practically pushing into her and she starts to worry that maybe he can't breathe. But he'd totally say something if he couldn't, right?
Leslie starts rocking her hips, pushing back against him rhythmically, letting the waves of pleasure slowly build and build until she's spasming against him, unable to do much more than hold still and let her orgasm roll through her, all the while Ben's fingers dig into her thighs, pulling her back and holding her tightly against his mouth, still working her gently as she shudders through it all.
"God, I love making you come with my mouth," he tells her after he pulls away and before she can even agree with his sentiment, she hears him unzipping his pants. A couple of seconds later Ben pushes inside and finally, wonderfully, thankfully, really starts to fuck her.
Something about the way he's almost roughly gripping at her hips, how the inside of her thighs are all wet from a mix of her juices and his mouth, and the way her hardened nipples are brushing against his disheveled plaid comforter is ratcheting everything all up again, because holy fuck. She starts gasping with each of his quick, deep thrusts, before he slows it down, pulls almost all the way out and then slowly pushes all the way back in. She feels like her knees are spreading open even more and she's kind of sinking down, but then he pulls her hips up, readjusting her ass up high in the air.
"Thank you," she manages to get out between gasps.
"You're welcome, m'dear," he answers.
She starts laughing. "Wow, all of a sudden this got...very polite and proper," Leslie tells him.
"I can feel you laughing," he says and she's pretty sure that Ben's trying not to laugh himself before he wraps an arm around her waist and works his hand lower, brushing his fingers against her clit. "Do you think you can again?"
"Oh, I think we should give it a try."
"A very serious try," he agrees, circling her clit while speeding up his thrusts from behind. And regardless of being almost too-sensitive for a second round, Leslie's quickly yelling out, not even bothering to muffle her cries with his pillow since they've got the house to themselves, contracting and shuddering again as his fingers work their magic over her clit, his cock pounding into her. It's practically no time at all before she feels Ben fall right along after her.
Afterwards, they end up snuggled together on his bed, Leslie's body fitting perfectly against his side. His pants and sweater are off now, but he's still wearing his shirt, tie, and boxers. And also socks--so cute, she can't help but think.
"Well. Mmmmmm, I think I can go back to work now. You're such a great and skillful campaign manager-slash-boyfriend."
"Hmmm," he mumbles against her hair. "Thanks? Glad I could help with your....situation. Bt the way, what brought that on? Did you get an email appeal from Joe Biden or something?"
"Oh, ha ha, Ben. That only happened that one time. And the subject line was I Need You--I mean come on, he's more of a tease than you are."
"Wait...what?"
"No, you sexy, unsuspecting antelope, I was thinking about you," she assures him, kissing his jaw line. There's really no need to mention Jerry's role in it all right now, while they're lying in bed, because that's just gross.
"Well, okay, then," he grins back at her. "So, I know this sort of thing doesn't traditionally involve food, and I don't mean to brag, but that was some pretty next-level nooner action. I think you should buy me lunch."
"Well, that's pretty....cocky," she grins. "Wait. What do you mean? Nooners don't involve lunch?"
"It's sex instead of lunch--although, I guess I did kind of just eat," he says with a grin.
"Very funny. But, seriously, that can't be right. Are you sure? I think it's sex and then lunch. Or, maybe, lunch and then sex? Like a light lunch because you'll need some energy but nothing too heavy...because of the sex?"
Ben shakes his head, while he kind of just stares at her breasts, not like he's objectifying her, but like he's just really into her boobs. Which is...more than okay.
"Well, that's just ridiculous. Any nooners we have are going to be followed by food. And, yeah, I'll definitely buy you lunch. JJ's?"
"No. I'm sorry but after that, I really think that I deserve a calzone," he tells her.
"You want me to reward you...with a post-sex calzone?"
"Yes. That's exactly what I want."
Leslie sighs, then reluctantly nods. "Alright. If my man wants a post-sex calzone, I'll get my man a post-sex calzone. Even if calzones are kind of pointless and stupid. Just let me get dressed."
"Good. But no judging of course," he grabs her hand and pulls her back down onto the bed.
"No judging. Although. Honestly, Ben. It's just pizza that's harder to--" But then he stops her words with a kiss and Leslie forgets all about how silly calzones are, post-sex or otherwise.