RP AU || "What Happens in Fairytales"
Title: What Happens in Fairytales (or Reading Cinderalla while Drunk is a very, very bad idea)
Fandom: Box RP AU
Rating: PG-13 ish
Notes: THIS IS FUCKING CRACK. IT'S LONG AND STUPID. I'M SORRY.
What Happens in Fairytales
As most fairytales begin, there once was a kingdom in a far away land where a mighty king ruled. This king was known as Allelujah and Demyx was his queen.
“Why am I the queen?!”
“Demyx, you’re ruining the prologue.”
“But you’d look better in a dress!”
“…”
As I was saying, Allelujah was the great and just king with an approval rating of eighty-six percent and Demyx was his disgruntled queen who liked to harass him during work. Together they ruled the land with fairness and the occasional tax revenue (this was a monarchy of course), and were very happy. But there seemed to be something missing.
“Haru knows just the thing!” the resident fairy godmother (for every country has one) had said one day with a smile and twirl of her wand. “Ta-da! A baby!”
Haru was not known to be the best godmother around, but definitely the best dressed, which would make sense since she was only in the field for the cosplay opportunities. She was notorious for giving weird and usually awful gifts, and trying to give them back often ended up in a curse or two. (Just ask Reborn from the Vongola kingdom. He wasn’t trapped looking like a baby for nothing.)
Allelujah looked at the small bundle suddenly poofed into his arms with no small amount of surprise. “I was thinking more a puppy.”
“Haru found her today!” the fairy said brightly.
“Where did you find a baby?” Demyx asked, looking over Allelujah’s shoulder.
“It’s Haru’s most precious gift!” she went on, “You’d better take care of her! Otherwise, I’ll know,” she added, with a bit of menacing in her voice.
“But you said you just-”
“I’ve gotta fly!” Haru interrupted him, glancing at her wand, which was blinking furiously, “Someone is calling!”
And so, with a glittery poof that left Allelujah and Demyx sputtering, Haru bestowed upon them their precious daughter, who they named Chrome.
“Chrome? Chrome, Alle?”
“Haru suggested it.”
“Oh, right.”
There was also the king’s brother Hallelujah, and his favorite court regent, the chief advisor, his not-so-secret lover, the country’s magician, a knight who insisted on being called ‘the Doctor’ (though no one knew what exactly he was a Doctor of), the knight’s redheaded page, and a lot of other people, but they come later.
Anyway, the king, his queen, their daughter, and the rest of the supporting cast all lived happily in this kingdom. And as the years went by, the princess grew into a lovely young maiden that drew the attention of many suitors, many of which were not deterred by laws regarding the age of consent.
And thus, we begin our story with the girl’s father, the king, who despite promising to never marry off or lock away his daughter in some far off tower, was starting to see the genius behind the idea.
“Maybe that Tsunayoshi boy from the Vongola kingdom,” Allelujah suggested.
“The one who screams a lot and nearly passed out when Chrome kissed his cheek?” Hallelujah rose a skeptical brow.
“Yes him. He seems like a nice boy.”
“I’m pretty sure he’s gay.”
“Even better.”
Hallelujah’s other brow rose to join the other. “You know,” he commented, leaning back in his chair and placing his feet on the table, “this is what leads to tower imprisonment.”
“But you don’t understand!” Allelujah protested, “Chrome is starting to attract worse and worse people! You know that wizard aide of Byakuran’s?”
“You mean Glo Stick?”
“Glo Xinia. Anyway, do you know what he said to Chrome the last time he was here?”
“Asked if she was into tentacles?” Hallelujah offered.
“Oh God no!” Allelujah shook his head, horrified at the though, “I would have killed him, politics be damned. No, he said he saw her ‘developing nicely’ later on. You know how? He used his crystal ball to see into the future!” he exclaimed, filled with fatherly concern.
“Can’t blame a guy for being curious,” Hallelujah shrugged. Allelujah shot him a dark look.
“Don’t you have a court regent to sexually harass?” he snipped.
“Yep. In fact, it’s just about time for me to get my lyre,” his twin smirked, dropping the chair to the floor and getting up.
“…It’s two in the morning.”
“Yep. Talk to you later,” Hallelujah waved as he left the kings chambers, passing Chrome as he left. “Hey kid.”
“Bye Uncle Hallelujah,” Chrome said politely, stepping aside to let him by, “Zexion is still in the library.”
“Thanks,” he ruffled her hair a bit before disappearing down the hall.
“Chrome, is there anything wrong?” Allelujah asked, offering her the chair Hallelujah just vacated.
“Thank you,” she said, taking the seat, “I just came to ask whether or not you and Mother have decided to send me away in order to protect my virtue,” she inquired, looking at her father imploringly.
“Ah, well,” Allelujah stalled, “You shouldn’t worry about that,” he said instead, brushing her long bangs from where they covered the injury to her eye she’d gotten as a child. “Don’t worry, it’ll all work out.”
“I was just curious, since you’ve been upset since Lord Byakuran’s visit last week,” she explained, folding her hands together. “Especially with what happened with Master Glo.”
Allelujah twitched at the name, and patted Chrome’s head, face straining for a smile.
“Don’t worry about him Chrome, I’ll take care of it.”
“Oh, I’m not worried. I mean…” Chrome suddenly paused, turning her head and listening intently, “Is…Is that a lyre?”
Both of them stood, going to the window to see the commotion going on in the courtyard. Hallelujah had somehow found a ladder and leaned it against the wall beneath Zexion’s window, and was reciting a sonnet, strumming a lyre as he spoke.
“…I have seen roses damask, red and white, but no such roses see I in her cheeks; and in some perfumes is there more delight,” Hallelujah recited, pausing a moment as Zexion swung his window open with a glare, “Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks. I love to hear her speak, yet well I know that music hath a far more pleasing sound.”
“Do you realize what time it is?” Zexion snapped, “And really? Shakespeare? You couldn’t come up with something on your own?”
“It’s in the script dear heart,” Hallelujah replied with a smirk, which only made Zexion glare darker.
Now, to fully understand Zexion and Hallelujah’s back and forth relationship, you had to understand that Hallelujah had been in love with him since they were children. When Zexion’s father, the previous court regent, had first brought Zexion to court at the age of seven, Hallelujah, who was six, had fallen head over heels for him upon sight.
“You’re going to marry me,” Hallelujah had told Zexion matter-of-factly, and Zexion rose a thin brow.
“Why do you say that?” Zexion had challenged.
“Because I’m the prince and I say so.”
“You’re going to abuse your power as a monarch in order to marry me?” Zexion scoffed, “Hardly. One, you may be the prince but with your older brother as the heir, you have little to no power over subjects, especially people belonging to court. Also, you’re betrothed to Sumeragi, yes?” Zexion went on with a knowing glint in his eyes, “Besides, we’re both men. I’m sure there’s laws about it somewhere.”
“You’re going to marry me,” Hallelujah repeated, completely unfazed. Zexion had narrowed his eyes at him before turning on his heels and stomping off.
And thus their relationship began.
“My breath ‘reeks’?” Zexion inquired sourly, and Hallelujah paused in his recital, “And, who, exactly, am I a mistress too? Or am I wrong to believe that Sumeragi breaking up your engagement was the end of your relationships with others?”
“No, that’s not what I’m implying,” Hallelujah began to protest, but Zexion straightened, gripping his window, “The script dear heart, the script!”
“Well, I hope this is included in your script,” Zexion huffed, slamming his window closed with a bang.
“Haru wrote the script! I think you smell quite nice actually!” Hallelujah called to his window. “Damn!” he cursed, throwing down his lyre, which landed with a crash on the stone below.
“Would you two shut up and simply sleep together already?” Tieria snapped, throwing open his own window. “Some of us are trying to sleep!”
Hallelujah gave him a dark look, and a curt half bow, “So sorry milady,” he bit out, “I forget you need your beauty sleep. By the way, how is Lockon?”
Tieria glared, and yanked his own window closed. Hallelujah let out a grunt and began his decent on the ladder.
“…That was interesting,” Allelujah commented, looking down at Chrome who watched the scene with hardly a blink, “Well, I think it’s time for bed. We’ll talk more in the morning, alright?”
“Yes,” Chrome nodded, reaching up to press a kiss to Allelujah’s cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Goodnight Chrome,” Allelujah said as she left the room, closing the door softly behind her.
The next morning, there was a loud crash outside his bedroom door and Allelujah sat up just as it burst open, Tieria and Lockon tumbling into the room.
“Excuse us, your majesties,” Lockon apologized with a weak grin, grabbing the back of Tieria’s dress and trying to pull him from the room, “We didn’t mean to wake you.”
“What’s going on?” Demyx asked sleepily, also sitting up.
“It’s your daughter,” Tieria mumbled, shaking Lockon off with a glare, “There’s a bit of a problem.”
“What’s wrong with Chrome?” Allelujah asked worriedly, quickly getting out of bed, “Is she sick?”
“Not exactly,” Lockon began, but Tieria cut him off.
“She’s gone,” he said flatly, then added with a roll of his eyes, “Your majesty.”
“What do you mean she’s gone?!” Allelujah asked in a panic, “Gone where?”
“I believe it was Glo Xinia,” Lockon piped up, and Allelujah gave him a curious look.
“What makes you say that?”
“This note that says ‘I’ve finally gotten that cute Chrome, signed Glo Xinia’,” Lockon explained, holding it out for Allelujah to take.
“Chrome was kidnapped?!” Allelujah gaped, looking at the note in shock.
"Damn! I knew I should have gotten her that chastity belt!" Demyx commented from the bed, snapping his fingers in frustration.
"Demyx?!"
"I'm sorry! I was going to wait until it was on sale! How was I supposed to know she was going to get kidnapped?"
"Demyx!" Allelujah cried, voice pitching in hysteria, “You were going to wait to protect our daughter’s virtue so you could get a bargin?!"
“Hey! Do you know who expensive iron underwear is? Especially custom made?” Demyx replied defensively.
“Custom made?” Lockon asked, curious despite himself.
“Yeah,” Demyx said, looking to him, “I was going to have it say 'Do Not Enter' on it. Clever right?"
“Demyx!”
“Will all of you shut up?” Hallelujah snapped from where he stood in the doorway, having just arrived, “If I heard right, then why are you guys sitting here talking about chastity belts when Chrome is being held hostage at Glo Stick’s tower?”
“Glo Xinia,” the others corrected.
“Whatever. Are we going to do anything or should we just send them a gift basket?” he bit out, crossing his arms.
“Call the Doctor,” Allelujah ordered, and Lockon nodded, going to do as he asked, “And send a note to Byakuran. I don’t want to use force if I don’t have to.”
At that exact moment, across the country in Glo Xinia’s tower, Chrome was sitting at his table, looking at him blankly as he leered happily.
“Are you enjoying your breakfast?”
“My parents taught me not to eat anything offered by my captors.”
“Not even a sip?”
“I’ve seen after school specials.”
Glo Xinia’s eyebrow twitched, and his smile grew more forced. “What are you implying then, my dear?”
“I believe the term my uncle would use would be ‘creepster’, sir,” Chrome replied coolly.
“I’m no such thing!” Glo Xinia snapped, slamming his hands down on the table furiously. Chrome merely blinked. “Fine, have it your way. You’ll come around,” he smirked, getting up and leaving the room, but not before waving his hand, a field of magic falling over all the foreseeable exits. “I’ll be back later for your virtue.”
Chrome watched him leave, letting out a sigh once the door closed securely behind him. She heard the lock click into place and she settled herself in for a wait.
“Hi there Chrome!” Haru greeted cheerfully, poofing in with a pop, floating merrily above the table.
"Oh, Fairy Godmother," Chrome said, relieved, "good. You should be able to help me right?"
"Of course! What do you need?" Haru asked brightly
"I need to get out of here. Master Glo Xinia kidnapped me." Chrome explained.
"Then you need a escape route! How about I shrink you? Then you can sneak under the door?" Haru offered.
"No, there's magic guards around the doors, if you'd please just get me home..."
"Oh, that's against the rules! You need a valiant knight and all!" Haru smiled.
"W...What rules?" Chrome inquired, almost afraid to hear the answer.
"The ones Glo Xinia gave me! See, 'The Helpful Fairy Handbook'!"
Chrome felt her heart sink, and sighed, shoulders slumping.
“T-Thank you Fairy Godmother,” she mumbled, looking down at the table. “I think I’ll just wait this out.”
“Oh, alright!” Haru smiled, twirling her wand. “If you need anything, just call!”
Chrome nodded, and Haru disappeared with an explosion of glitter.
“I suppose I should consider the alternatives,” Chrome murmured, looking around. “Now, what did that Juliet girl do?”
In some unremarkable wood, there were the sounds of a trio making their way through the brush.
“Mukuro-san,” said one, a boy with glasses and a white hat, to their leader, “where are we going exactly?”
“Kufufu,” Mukuro grinned, rubbing at a spot of dirt on his cheek, “Anywhere of course. After our last attempt on the dear Tsunayoshi’s life, we’re in quite a bit of trouble. Might as well…lay low.”
“Right as always, pyon,” Ken, the blonde, grinned, cracking his knuckles, “What else would we do Kakipi?”
“…” Chikusa gave Ken a look, pushing up his glasses with a finger.
“Now, now, you two,” Mukuro laughed, deciding to stop and take a seat on a rock, “There’s always alternatives. We simply decided to go this route.”
There was a loud commotion, and suddenly a chipmunk tumbled into the clearing where the trio sat, racing around wildly.
“What’s wrong with the thing?” Mukuro asked Ken, who grabbed the rodent by the scruff of his neck, holding him up.
“The princess!” the little creature cried, and Mukuro rose a brow. Not at the fact an animal was talking of course, since it was fairly common in such places, but because it spoke with a foreign accent, “Princess Chrome was kidnapped by Glo Xinia!”
“Chrome you say?” Mukuro inquired, a slow grin spreading across his face. “Daughter of Allelujah? Heiress to the throne?”
“Yes!” the chipmunk squeaked, nodding “And the King promised anything to whomever rescues her!”
“Anything,” Mukuro echoed. “Interesting. Here Ken, let me see him.”
Ken put the animal down and it raced over to Mukuro’s open palm, chittering furiously. “If you want to save her, you have to move quick! Glo Xinia’s already had her for half a day!”
“How would I get there from here?” Mukuro asked, and the chipmunk pointed in the direction he wanted.
“That way! It’ll take you a couple of hours, but you’ll get there sooner than you would by-”
Mukuro grinned, and silenced the animal with a quick squeeze to his torso, crushing him (for Mukuro wasn’t very fond of chatty chipmunks).
“Well Ken, Chikusa, we have a destination.” Mukuro laughed, getting to his feet. “I think we have a princess to save.”
“That’s it! The castle Millefore!” the Doctor grinned brightly, looking at up the gate, quite proud of himself.
“Doctor, I think we’re lost,” Donna commented from her horse.
“Why do you say that?”
“Just a feeling. And the flag says Bovino.”
“Oh. Is that what that flag says?” the Doctor inquired, and Donna nodded. “Well then, we’d better get going! Come along TARDIS!” he instructed his horse, leading him away from the gate.
“I hope the princess can hold him off a bit longer,” Donna sighed, nudging her own horse to turn around.
The princess in question was currently sitting in Glo Xinia’s tower, staring in a mix of horror as Glo Xinia tuned his lyre.
“I don’t understand the lyres,” she sighed, “Isn’t there some other instrument?”
“Don’t worry my dear,” Glo Xinia smirked, brushing back his styled bangs, “Soon, the lyre wouldn’t be the only thing making noise.”
Chrome didn’t reply, simply folded her hands in her lap and waited for the song.
Glo Xinia cleared his throat, and strummed a few experimental cords. “You’re the fairest maid I’ve ever met, you were made to finish my duet…”
Chrome couldn’t help but feel her shoulder’s cringe at his awful pitch.
“And in years to come we’ll…Oh what now?” Glo Xinia cut himself off, looking to the door where a faint banging sound could be heard. “That can’t be the mail already can it?”
“Maybe you should check,” Chrome suggested helpfully.
“No, no, wait, I have the perfect line,” Glo Xinia declined, beginning to play again, “I’ve been dreaming of a true love’s kiss…”
The banging only grew more insistent, and Glo Xinia finally let out a groan of frustration, putting down his lyre with a promise to return once he settled the matter of the door. Once he was gone, Chrome blotted to the window, looking down.
“Well, if I were to fall, I’d surely be killed,” she murmured. “Papa wouldn’t like that. And besides,” she sighed, reaching out the window only to touch the magical shield, “I can’t even hope for that.”
Sighing, Chrome returned to her seat, waiting patiently for either a rescue or, heaven forbid, Glo Xinia’s return.
When five minutes passed, and Chrome heard what can only be described as several loud booms and a few buzzes and curses, she went to the door, pressing her ear against it, hoping to hear what was happening below.
“You fool! You can’t defeat me!” she heard Glo Xinia scoff, and the telltale sounds of his favorite pet, the large octopus he kept in the moat, fighting some unknown foe, her heart leapt.
The battle went on several more minutes, until she heard Glo Xinia cry out in panic as his pet was taken down. A long scuffle ensued until it was silent again.
Chrome waited, trying to determine the outcome of the fight, but when there was no noise from down below, she sighed and returned to her seat.
Almost as soon as she sat down, the door burst open, three figures appearing. She looked up expectantly, but she couldn’t recognize any of the three boys.
“Yes?”
“Are you Chrome?” one, the seeming leader, from the way the other two stood back, flanking him, grinned as he stepped into the room.
“Yes, are you the one who fought Glo Xinia?”
“Glo Xinia? Oh, you mean that glasses fellow with the silly bangs,” he smiled, going to Chrome’s side, kneeling next to her and taking her hand in his, pressing a kiss to it, “My name is Mukuro, my lady, and I’m here to return you home.”
“Oh, thank you,” she smiled shyly, blushing. Chrome had never fallen in love before, but since the young man had obviously saved her, and was handsome besides, she figured that was the feeling welling up in her chest.
“Sorry if I seem forward, but how is your virtue? Still intact?” he asked.
Chrome nodded and he blinked, but smiled none the less.
“Chastity belt?”
“No, the second verse.”
Mukuro laughed, and Chrome couldn’t help but blush again.
“Kufufu, now, shall we get you there then?” Mukuro grinned, standing and dropping Chrome’s hand.
“Yes,” she smiled. “That’d be nice.”
“Well now Donna,” the Doctor laughed as he rode off, slipping his Sonic screwdriver into his waist pocket, “Wasn’t that brilliant? That wasn’t nearly as bad as that Xellos fellow made it out to be, was it?”
“Oh hush,” Donna muttered, “And what about the princess? Are we going to just leave her there?”
“She’s saved right?” the Doctor said curiously, and Donna nodded slowly, “Then our work is done! Now then, where should we go next? I heard there’s a brilliant magic mirror in the next kingdom!”
“Oh God,” Donna sighed, shaking her head.
“Chrome!” Allelujah cried happily as his daughter walked into the main hall, dirty, but otherwise unscathed. “I’m so happy you’re alright!”
“Papa, this is the one who saved me,” she said, pointing to the three boys behind her, Mukuro grinning widely while the other two looked around curiously, “His name is…”
“Mukuro Rokudo!” Demyx cried, pointing at the three, face aghast, “He’s the guy that went after that Tsuna kid!”
“Kufufu, yes, that’s true,” Mukuro grinned, and Allelujah glared at him, getting up, and motioning for Chrome, “Word seems to travel fast.”
“Chrome, come here.”
“Papa, he’s the one who saved me.”
“Yes, and wasn’t there a clause included in that? Whatever the rescuer so desired?” Mukuro smirked, and Allelujah glared.
“What do you want?” he asked through gritted teeth.
“Nothing much. Simply a chance to return for Chrome, and her assets, of course,” Mukuro replied, “Now isn’t the best time for a wedding, of course.”
“If you think that I’m going to-”
“Papa, you promised,” Chrome reminded him, and Allelujah took one look at her hopeful face and narrowed his eyes at Mukuro.
“A chance. But not now. Come back when Chrome is older,” he compromised, and Mukuro laughed heartily.
“Of course! I wouldn’t think less of a disapproving parent,” he snickered, “You do disapprove don’t you?”
“Well, of course but what does that have to do with anything?”
“Kufufu, then this wouldn’t be as fun,” Mukuro chuckled, grabbing Chrome’s arm and pulling her towards him, lightly pecking her lips. Chrome blushed furiously as the rest of the room sputtered, Mukuro laughing fullheartedly as he let her go, leaving the room with a skip in his gait. “I’ll see you soon Chrome,” he waved over his shoulder and he, Ken, and Chikusa left the castle, laughing quite merrily.
And they all lived happily ever after. Sort of.
“Papa, Papa what are you doing?” Chrome asked as Allelujah threw her over her shoulder, marching down to the armory at a steady clip.
“You’re getting fitted for a chastity belt. And don’t argue.” Allelujah said sharply, passing Hallelujah, who was leaving the armory with a pair of handcuffs in hand. He paused, and turned around, giving his twin brother a look. “Hallelujah, what on earth are those for?”
“Zexion said the only way he’d marry me was if I forced him into it. So, I’m forcing him into it,” Hallelujah explained, then grinned, “And besides, handcuffs are always something nice to have in the bedside drawer, don’t you think?”
Chrome blinked. Allelujah gaped. Hallelujah laughed as he continued down the hall to Zexion’s room, twirling the specially made handcuffs on a finger.
THE END
I'M SORRY IT'S CRACK OMG OTL;;;
Fandom: Box RP AU
Rating: PG-13 ish
Notes: THIS IS FUCKING CRACK. IT'S LONG AND STUPID. I'M SORRY.
What Happens in Fairytales
As most fairytales begin, there once was a kingdom in a far away land where a mighty king ruled. This king was known as Allelujah and Demyx was his queen.
“Why am I the queen?!”
“Demyx, you’re ruining the prologue.”
“But you’d look better in a dress!”
“…”
As I was saying, Allelujah was the great and just king with an approval rating of eighty-six percent and Demyx was his disgruntled queen who liked to harass him during work. Together they ruled the land with fairness and the occasional tax revenue (this was a monarchy of course), and were very happy. But there seemed to be something missing.
“Haru knows just the thing!” the resident fairy godmother (for every country has one) had said one day with a smile and twirl of her wand. “Ta-da! A baby!”
Haru was not known to be the best godmother around, but definitely the best dressed, which would make sense since she was only in the field for the cosplay opportunities. She was notorious for giving weird and usually awful gifts, and trying to give them back often ended up in a curse or two. (Just ask Reborn from the Vongola kingdom. He wasn’t trapped looking like a baby for nothing.)
Allelujah looked at the small bundle suddenly poofed into his arms with no small amount of surprise. “I was thinking more a puppy.”
“Haru found her today!” the fairy said brightly.
“Where did you find a baby?” Demyx asked, looking over Allelujah’s shoulder.
“It’s Haru’s most precious gift!” she went on, “You’d better take care of her! Otherwise, I’ll know,” she added, with a bit of menacing in her voice.
“But you said you just-”
“I’ve gotta fly!” Haru interrupted him, glancing at her wand, which was blinking furiously, “Someone is calling!”
And so, with a glittery poof that left Allelujah and Demyx sputtering, Haru bestowed upon them their precious daughter, who they named Chrome.
“Chrome? Chrome, Alle?”
“Haru suggested it.”
“Oh, right.”
There was also the king’s brother Hallelujah, and his favorite court regent, the chief advisor, his not-so-secret lover, the country’s magician, a knight who insisted on being called ‘the Doctor’ (though no one knew what exactly he was a Doctor of), the knight’s redheaded page, and a lot of other people, but they come later.
Anyway, the king, his queen, their daughter, and the rest of the supporting cast all lived happily in this kingdom. And as the years went by, the princess grew into a lovely young maiden that drew the attention of many suitors, many of which were not deterred by laws regarding the age of consent.
And thus, we begin our story with the girl’s father, the king, who despite promising to never marry off or lock away his daughter in some far off tower, was starting to see the genius behind the idea.
“Maybe that Tsunayoshi boy from the Vongola kingdom,” Allelujah suggested.
“The one who screams a lot and nearly passed out when Chrome kissed his cheek?” Hallelujah rose a skeptical brow.
“Yes him. He seems like a nice boy.”
“I’m pretty sure he’s gay.”
“Even better.”
Hallelujah’s other brow rose to join the other. “You know,” he commented, leaning back in his chair and placing his feet on the table, “this is what leads to tower imprisonment.”
“But you don’t understand!” Allelujah protested, “Chrome is starting to attract worse and worse people! You know that wizard aide of Byakuran’s?”
“You mean Glo Stick?”
“Glo Xinia. Anyway, do you know what he said to Chrome the last time he was here?”
“Asked if she was into tentacles?” Hallelujah offered.
“Oh God no!” Allelujah shook his head, horrified at the though, “I would have killed him, politics be damned. No, he said he saw her ‘developing nicely’ later on. You know how? He used his crystal ball to see into the future!” he exclaimed, filled with fatherly concern.
“Can’t blame a guy for being curious,” Hallelujah shrugged. Allelujah shot him a dark look.
“Don’t you have a court regent to sexually harass?” he snipped.
“Yep. In fact, it’s just about time for me to get my lyre,” his twin smirked, dropping the chair to the floor and getting up.
“…It’s two in the morning.”
“Yep. Talk to you later,” Hallelujah waved as he left the kings chambers, passing Chrome as he left. “Hey kid.”
“Bye Uncle Hallelujah,” Chrome said politely, stepping aside to let him by, “Zexion is still in the library.”
“Thanks,” he ruffled her hair a bit before disappearing down the hall.
“Chrome, is there anything wrong?” Allelujah asked, offering her the chair Hallelujah just vacated.
“Thank you,” she said, taking the seat, “I just came to ask whether or not you and Mother have decided to send me away in order to protect my virtue,” she inquired, looking at her father imploringly.
“Ah, well,” Allelujah stalled, “You shouldn’t worry about that,” he said instead, brushing her long bangs from where they covered the injury to her eye she’d gotten as a child. “Don’t worry, it’ll all work out.”
“I was just curious, since you’ve been upset since Lord Byakuran’s visit last week,” she explained, folding her hands together. “Especially with what happened with Master Glo.”
Allelujah twitched at the name, and patted Chrome’s head, face straining for a smile.
“Don’t worry about him Chrome, I’ll take care of it.”
“Oh, I’m not worried. I mean…” Chrome suddenly paused, turning her head and listening intently, “Is…Is that a lyre?”
Both of them stood, going to the window to see the commotion going on in the courtyard. Hallelujah had somehow found a ladder and leaned it against the wall beneath Zexion’s window, and was reciting a sonnet, strumming a lyre as he spoke.
“…I have seen roses damask, red and white, but no such roses see I in her cheeks; and in some perfumes is there more delight,” Hallelujah recited, pausing a moment as Zexion swung his window open with a glare, “Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks. I love to hear her speak, yet well I know that music hath a far more pleasing sound.”
“Do you realize what time it is?” Zexion snapped, “And really? Shakespeare? You couldn’t come up with something on your own?”
“It’s in the script dear heart,” Hallelujah replied with a smirk, which only made Zexion glare darker.
Now, to fully understand Zexion and Hallelujah’s back and forth relationship, you had to understand that Hallelujah had been in love with him since they were children. When Zexion’s father, the previous court regent, had first brought Zexion to court at the age of seven, Hallelujah, who was six, had fallen head over heels for him upon sight.
“You’re going to marry me,” Hallelujah had told Zexion matter-of-factly, and Zexion rose a thin brow.
“Why do you say that?” Zexion had challenged.
“Because I’m the prince and I say so.”
“You’re going to abuse your power as a monarch in order to marry me?” Zexion scoffed, “Hardly. One, you may be the prince but with your older brother as the heir, you have little to no power over subjects, especially people belonging to court. Also, you’re betrothed to Sumeragi, yes?” Zexion went on with a knowing glint in his eyes, “Besides, we’re both men. I’m sure there’s laws about it somewhere.”
“You’re going to marry me,” Hallelujah repeated, completely unfazed. Zexion had narrowed his eyes at him before turning on his heels and stomping off.
And thus their relationship began.
“My breath ‘reeks’?” Zexion inquired sourly, and Hallelujah paused in his recital, “And, who, exactly, am I a mistress too? Or am I wrong to believe that Sumeragi breaking up your engagement was the end of your relationships with others?”
“No, that’s not what I’m implying,” Hallelujah began to protest, but Zexion straightened, gripping his window, “The script dear heart, the script!”
“Well, I hope this is included in your script,” Zexion huffed, slamming his window closed with a bang.
“Haru wrote the script! I think you smell quite nice actually!” Hallelujah called to his window. “Damn!” he cursed, throwing down his lyre, which landed with a crash on the stone below.
“Would you two shut up and simply sleep together already?” Tieria snapped, throwing open his own window. “Some of us are trying to sleep!”
Hallelujah gave him a dark look, and a curt half bow, “So sorry milady,” he bit out, “I forget you need your beauty sleep. By the way, how is Lockon?”
Tieria glared, and yanked his own window closed. Hallelujah let out a grunt and began his decent on the ladder.
“…That was interesting,” Allelujah commented, looking down at Chrome who watched the scene with hardly a blink, “Well, I think it’s time for bed. We’ll talk more in the morning, alright?”
“Yes,” Chrome nodded, reaching up to press a kiss to Allelujah’s cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Goodnight Chrome,” Allelujah said as she left the room, closing the door softly behind her.
The next morning, there was a loud crash outside his bedroom door and Allelujah sat up just as it burst open, Tieria and Lockon tumbling into the room.
“Excuse us, your majesties,” Lockon apologized with a weak grin, grabbing the back of Tieria’s dress and trying to pull him from the room, “We didn’t mean to wake you.”
“What’s going on?” Demyx asked sleepily, also sitting up.
“It’s your daughter,” Tieria mumbled, shaking Lockon off with a glare, “There’s a bit of a problem.”
“What’s wrong with Chrome?” Allelujah asked worriedly, quickly getting out of bed, “Is she sick?”
“Not exactly,” Lockon began, but Tieria cut him off.
“She’s gone,” he said flatly, then added with a roll of his eyes, “Your majesty.”
“What do you mean she’s gone?!” Allelujah asked in a panic, “Gone where?”
“I believe it was Glo Xinia,” Lockon piped up, and Allelujah gave him a curious look.
“What makes you say that?”
“This note that says ‘I’ve finally gotten that cute Chrome, signed Glo Xinia’,” Lockon explained, holding it out for Allelujah to take.
“Chrome was kidnapped?!” Allelujah gaped, looking at the note in shock.
"Damn! I knew I should have gotten her that chastity belt!" Demyx commented from the bed, snapping his fingers in frustration.
"Demyx?!"
"I'm sorry! I was going to wait until it was on sale! How was I supposed to know she was going to get kidnapped?"
"Demyx!" Allelujah cried, voice pitching in hysteria, “You were going to wait to protect our daughter’s virtue so you could get a bargin?!"
“Hey! Do you know who expensive iron underwear is? Especially custom made?” Demyx replied defensively.
“Custom made?” Lockon asked, curious despite himself.
“Yeah,” Demyx said, looking to him, “I was going to have it say 'Do Not Enter' on it. Clever right?"
“Demyx!”
“Will all of you shut up?” Hallelujah snapped from where he stood in the doorway, having just arrived, “If I heard right, then why are you guys sitting here talking about chastity belts when Chrome is being held hostage at Glo Stick’s tower?”
“Glo Xinia,” the others corrected.
“Whatever. Are we going to do anything or should we just send them a gift basket?” he bit out, crossing his arms.
“Call the Doctor,” Allelujah ordered, and Lockon nodded, going to do as he asked, “And send a note to Byakuran. I don’t want to use force if I don’t have to.”
At that exact moment, across the country in Glo Xinia’s tower, Chrome was sitting at his table, looking at him blankly as he leered happily.
“Are you enjoying your breakfast?”
“My parents taught me not to eat anything offered by my captors.”
“Not even a sip?”
“I’ve seen after school specials.”
Glo Xinia’s eyebrow twitched, and his smile grew more forced. “What are you implying then, my dear?”
“I believe the term my uncle would use would be ‘creepster’, sir,” Chrome replied coolly.
“I’m no such thing!” Glo Xinia snapped, slamming his hands down on the table furiously. Chrome merely blinked. “Fine, have it your way. You’ll come around,” he smirked, getting up and leaving the room, but not before waving his hand, a field of magic falling over all the foreseeable exits. “I’ll be back later for your virtue.”
Chrome watched him leave, letting out a sigh once the door closed securely behind him. She heard the lock click into place and she settled herself in for a wait.
“Hi there Chrome!” Haru greeted cheerfully, poofing in with a pop, floating merrily above the table.
"Oh, Fairy Godmother," Chrome said, relieved, "good. You should be able to help me right?"
"Of course! What do you need?" Haru asked brightly
"I need to get out of here. Master Glo Xinia kidnapped me." Chrome explained.
"Then you need a escape route! How about I shrink you? Then you can sneak under the door?" Haru offered.
"No, there's magic guards around the doors, if you'd please just get me home..."
"Oh, that's against the rules! You need a valiant knight and all!" Haru smiled.
"W...What rules?" Chrome inquired, almost afraid to hear the answer.
"The ones Glo Xinia gave me! See, 'The Helpful Fairy Handbook'!"
Chrome felt her heart sink, and sighed, shoulders slumping.
“T-Thank you Fairy Godmother,” she mumbled, looking down at the table. “I think I’ll just wait this out.”
“Oh, alright!” Haru smiled, twirling her wand. “If you need anything, just call!”
Chrome nodded, and Haru disappeared with an explosion of glitter.
“I suppose I should consider the alternatives,” Chrome murmured, looking around. “Now, what did that Juliet girl do?”
In some unremarkable wood, there were the sounds of a trio making their way through the brush.
“Mukuro-san,” said one, a boy with glasses and a white hat, to their leader, “where are we going exactly?”
“Kufufu,” Mukuro grinned, rubbing at a spot of dirt on his cheek, “Anywhere of course. After our last attempt on the dear Tsunayoshi’s life, we’re in quite a bit of trouble. Might as well…lay low.”
“Right as always, pyon,” Ken, the blonde, grinned, cracking his knuckles, “What else would we do Kakipi?”
“…” Chikusa gave Ken a look, pushing up his glasses with a finger.
“Now, now, you two,” Mukuro laughed, deciding to stop and take a seat on a rock, “There’s always alternatives. We simply decided to go this route.”
There was a loud commotion, and suddenly a chipmunk tumbled into the clearing where the trio sat, racing around wildly.
“What’s wrong with the thing?” Mukuro asked Ken, who grabbed the rodent by the scruff of his neck, holding him up.
“The princess!” the little creature cried, and Mukuro rose a brow. Not at the fact an animal was talking of course, since it was fairly common in such places, but because it spoke with a foreign accent, “Princess Chrome was kidnapped by Glo Xinia!”
“Chrome you say?” Mukuro inquired, a slow grin spreading across his face. “Daughter of Allelujah? Heiress to the throne?”
“Yes!” the chipmunk squeaked, nodding “And the King promised anything to whomever rescues her!”
“Anything,” Mukuro echoed. “Interesting. Here Ken, let me see him.”
Ken put the animal down and it raced over to Mukuro’s open palm, chittering furiously. “If you want to save her, you have to move quick! Glo Xinia’s already had her for half a day!”
“How would I get there from here?” Mukuro asked, and the chipmunk pointed in the direction he wanted.
“That way! It’ll take you a couple of hours, but you’ll get there sooner than you would by-”
Mukuro grinned, and silenced the animal with a quick squeeze to his torso, crushing him (for Mukuro wasn’t very fond of chatty chipmunks).
“Well Ken, Chikusa, we have a destination.” Mukuro laughed, getting to his feet. “I think we have a princess to save.”
“That’s it! The castle Millefore!” the Doctor grinned brightly, looking at up the gate, quite proud of himself.
“Doctor, I think we’re lost,” Donna commented from her horse.
“Why do you say that?”
“Just a feeling. And the flag says Bovino.”
“Oh. Is that what that flag says?” the Doctor inquired, and Donna nodded. “Well then, we’d better get going! Come along TARDIS!” he instructed his horse, leading him away from the gate.
“I hope the princess can hold him off a bit longer,” Donna sighed, nudging her own horse to turn around.
The princess in question was currently sitting in Glo Xinia’s tower, staring in a mix of horror as Glo Xinia tuned his lyre.
“I don’t understand the lyres,” she sighed, “Isn’t there some other instrument?”
“Don’t worry my dear,” Glo Xinia smirked, brushing back his styled bangs, “Soon, the lyre wouldn’t be the only thing making noise.”
Chrome didn’t reply, simply folded her hands in her lap and waited for the song.
Glo Xinia cleared his throat, and strummed a few experimental cords. “You’re the fairest maid I’ve ever met, you were made to finish my duet…”
Chrome couldn’t help but feel her shoulder’s cringe at his awful pitch.
“And in years to come we’ll…Oh what now?” Glo Xinia cut himself off, looking to the door where a faint banging sound could be heard. “That can’t be the mail already can it?”
“Maybe you should check,” Chrome suggested helpfully.
“No, no, wait, I have the perfect line,” Glo Xinia declined, beginning to play again, “I’ve been dreaming of a true love’s kiss…”
The banging only grew more insistent, and Glo Xinia finally let out a groan of frustration, putting down his lyre with a promise to return once he settled the matter of the door. Once he was gone, Chrome blotted to the window, looking down.
“Well, if I were to fall, I’d surely be killed,” she murmured. “Papa wouldn’t like that. And besides,” she sighed, reaching out the window only to touch the magical shield, “I can’t even hope for that.”
Sighing, Chrome returned to her seat, waiting patiently for either a rescue or, heaven forbid, Glo Xinia’s return.
When five minutes passed, and Chrome heard what can only be described as several loud booms and a few buzzes and curses, she went to the door, pressing her ear against it, hoping to hear what was happening below.
“You fool! You can’t defeat me!” she heard Glo Xinia scoff, and the telltale sounds of his favorite pet, the large octopus he kept in the moat, fighting some unknown foe, her heart leapt.
The battle went on several more minutes, until she heard Glo Xinia cry out in panic as his pet was taken down. A long scuffle ensued until it was silent again.
Chrome waited, trying to determine the outcome of the fight, but when there was no noise from down below, she sighed and returned to her seat.
Almost as soon as she sat down, the door burst open, three figures appearing. She looked up expectantly, but she couldn’t recognize any of the three boys.
“Yes?”
“Are you Chrome?” one, the seeming leader, from the way the other two stood back, flanking him, grinned as he stepped into the room.
“Yes, are you the one who fought Glo Xinia?”
“Glo Xinia? Oh, you mean that glasses fellow with the silly bangs,” he smiled, going to Chrome’s side, kneeling next to her and taking her hand in his, pressing a kiss to it, “My name is Mukuro, my lady, and I’m here to return you home.”
“Oh, thank you,” she smiled shyly, blushing. Chrome had never fallen in love before, but since the young man had obviously saved her, and was handsome besides, she figured that was the feeling welling up in her chest.
“Sorry if I seem forward, but how is your virtue? Still intact?” he asked.
Chrome nodded and he blinked, but smiled none the less.
“Chastity belt?”
“No, the second verse.”
Mukuro laughed, and Chrome couldn’t help but blush again.
“Kufufu, now, shall we get you there then?” Mukuro grinned, standing and dropping Chrome’s hand.
“Yes,” she smiled. “That’d be nice.”
“Well now Donna,” the Doctor laughed as he rode off, slipping his Sonic screwdriver into his waist pocket, “Wasn’t that brilliant? That wasn’t nearly as bad as that Xellos fellow made it out to be, was it?”
“Oh hush,” Donna muttered, “And what about the princess? Are we going to just leave her there?”
“She’s saved right?” the Doctor said curiously, and Donna nodded slowly, “Then our work is done! Now then, where should we go next? I heard there’s a brilliant magic mirror in the next kingdom!”
“Oh God,” Donna sighed, shaking her head.
“Chrome!” Allelujah cried happily as his daughter walked into the main hall, dirty, but otherwise unscathed. “I’m so happy you’re alright!”
“Papa, this is the one who saved me,” she said, pointing to the three boys behind her, Mukuro grinning widely while the other two looked around curiously, “His name is…”
“Mukuro Rokudo!” Demyx cried, pointing at the three, face aghast, “He’s the guy that went after that Tsuna kid!”
“Kufufu, yes, that’s true,” Mukuro grinned, and Allelujah glared at him, getting up, and motioning for Chrome, “Word seems to travel fast.”
“Chrome, come here.”
“Papa, he’s the one who saved me.”
“Yes, and wasn’t there a clause included in that? Whatever the rescuer so desired?” Mukuro smirked, and Allelujah glared.
“What do you want?” he asked through gritted teeth.
“Nothing much. Simply a chance to return for Chrome, and her assets, of course,” Mukuro replied, “Now isn’t the best time for a wedding, of course.”
“If you think that I’m going to-”
“Papa, you promised,” Chrome reminded him, and Allelujah took one look at her hopeful face and narrowed his eyes at Mukuro.
“A chance. But not now. Come back when Chrome is older,” he compromised, and Mukuro laughed heartily.
“Of course! I wouldn’t think less of a disapproving parent,” he snickered, “You do disapprove don’t you?”
“Well, of course but what does that have to do with anything?”
“Kufufu, then this wouldn’t be as fun,” Mukuro chuckled, grabbing Chrome’s arm and pulling her towards him, lightly pecking her lips. Chrome blushed furiously as the rest of the room sputtered, Mukuro laughing fullheartedly as he let her go, leaving the room with a skip in his gait. “I’ll see you soon Chrome,” he waved over his shoulder and he, Ken, and Chikusa left the castle, laughing quite merrily.
And they all lived happily ever after. Sort of.
“Papa, Papa what are you doing?” Chrome asked as Allelujah threw her over her shoulder, marching down to the armory at a steady clip.
“You’re getting fitted for a chastity belt. And don’t argue.” Allelujah said sharply, passing Hallelujah, who was leaving the armory with a pair of handcuffs in hand. He paused, and turned around, giving his twin brother a look. “Hallelujah, what on earth are those for?”
“Zexion said the only way he’d marry me was if I forced him into it. So, I’m forcing him into it,” Hallelujah explained, then grinned, “And besides, handcuffs are always something nice to have in the bedside drawer, don’t you think?”
Chrome blinked. Allelujah gaped. Hallelujah laughed as he continued down the hall to Zexion’s room, twirling the specially made handcuffs on a finger.
THE END
I'M SORRY IT'S CRACK OMG OTL;;;