Finding yourself by being someone else
Title: Finding yourself by being someone else
Author: alles_luege
Pairing: Pete/Gerard/Brendon, Mikey/Patrick, Bob/Emilie Autumn, Frank/Gerard/Mikey, other minor pairings
Rating: R
Summary: So, it begins like this: Gerard is building a dimensional door in his basement, Pete somehow fucks it up and before Gerard can blink he is on an endless journey through different dimensions without knowing how to get back home with PETE of all people. He encounters zombies, serial killers, dying worlds, himself being famous, The Doctor and in the end he finds love.
Warning(s): angst, threesome, waycest, zombies, vampires, mentions of torture, also Gerard wears glasses
Author’s Notes: Sliders-Au written for bandom_au , prompt 39. Lyrics taken from: Lifehouse, Empires, Papa Roach and Staind. Honestly I could have written easily ten more chapters, because it was fun and also because the possibilities are endless! If you don't know who Emilie Autumn is, check her out! Posted in two parts for length.
Word Count: 15.669
Beta: tygermine (I only made the deadline because of her.)
Disclaimer: Don’t know, don’t own, not real.
~Prologue~
You could be anywhere
In the end if Gerard has to blame someone - and he will, he wants to, he does - it comes down to this: It’s all Pete’s fault.
He knew from the first time Mikey spoke to him that he will be trouble and now he messed up Gerard’s life and even worse, his fucking work!
~+~
“What did he do?” Mikey asks.
“I’m not exactly sure…” Patrick admits.
“I hope to hell you can fix it,” Frank says and he really looks pissed off. Mikey wishes he was here when it happened. Maybe he could have stopped it. He doesn’t want to think about life without Gerard. The utter loneliness that is his future is enough to push him to fix this monumental fuck up.
“Can you bring him back?” he asks.
“Them,” Joe says. Frank gives him a vicious look.
“Who cares about that idiot? It’s all his fault.”
“I do….” Mikey says softly and Frank shuts up.
“I need to find out what went wrong…they’re…”
“Just gone. Maybe we could just jump in as well?” Joe asks.
“No! We will never find a way back, we can’t even be sure we will arrive where they are. It’s too dangerous.”
“Gerard didn’t finish it…he was working on something that can make you decide where you land and how long you’ll stay,” Mikey continues. Patrick nods going through Gerard’s papers and instructions.
“Shit,” Joe says and Mikey thinks that he nailed it just right.
~1~
I wanna be famous
“What the hell where you thinking?” Gerard asks pissed off, he doesn’t yell, because he is a fucking polite person.
“I thought I knew how to make it work and look! I was right!” Pete answers defensively. Gerard could strangle him right now. With his bare hands.
“We can’t go back!” Gerard says and Pete’s face falls.
“What do you mean?”
“The machine wasn’t finished. We can’t actually control where we will land. And it’s All. Your. Fault!” Gerard says sharply. He isn’t prepared for this. This whole thing is a mistake and what makes it that much worse, is Mikey isn’t here. But instead he is trapped in another world (millions of other worlds!) with PETE.
“You just need to finish it over here then…” Pete says and Gerard really, really, really
wants to strangle him. The idiot doesn’t understand a thing. For fuck’s sake!
“We don’t even know where we are,” he says instead, he needs a cigarette, why the hell did he quit?!
“Well, one way to find out,” Pete answers and opens the basement door. “Looks like your living room…well, maybe not exactly like your living room…but close?”
Gerard doesn’t think that it looks like his living room. At all.
“This is about art…and music…” he says as he goes through the books. “Nothing about…science. At all.”
“I guess, someone else is living here then,” Pete says.
“Right genius. Maybe we should go then? As this can be counted as breaking and entering,” Gerard answers. He really doesn’t like Pete.
“Hmmm…” Pete says, he sounds distracted.
“What?”
“I think you are living here…”
“I’m not.”
“Look!” Pete says, turning around and holding a frame up. It’s a picture of him, well without the glasses and he is smoking a cigarette and there is Mikey and he looks so stupidly familiar and…
“Give me that!”
“I think you live here…or well, the other you or something.”
“Hmmm…” he misses Mikey, he needs to go back. He needs to find a way back home. Maybe he will leave Pete here, as payback for being a moron.
“And I think you are married and maybe have a kid? You’re straight!?!”
“What the fuck?!” He hates Pete.
“Well…he looks happy,” Pete says and Gerard thinks that too, except when he looks up Pete isn’t looking at photos of him, but of Mikey with some girl. It’s a wedding.
“Mikey has a wife…” Gerard says and thinks that she really is pretty.
“Seems so…”
~+~
“What the hell! You so didn’t win, Mikey!”
They hear someone laugh.
“Fuck,” Pete says and Gerard thinks, yes that sums it up.
“I just wasn’t prepared…” Gerard’s clone begins and stops. Then he turns around to his brother. “Why is Pete in my house again, Mikey?”
“Seems he doesn’t like you,” Gerard whispers to Pete.
“I have no idea, but a more pressing matter I think…is why are you at your house?”
“Mikey is so random…” Pete whispers back.
“What? I am not!” Mikey says.
“You really are,” say both Gerards.
“It’s so creepy…” Pete says and both Gerards glare in his direction.
“So…you are what? Evil twins? Future selves? Past selves?” Mikey asks, Gerard always knew it was no good that his brother was hanging out with Gabe Saporta.
“This is all Gabe’s fault!” They say in unison. And Mikey rolls his eyes.
“Actually it’s not…this time,” Gerard says and glares at Pete again.
“Pete, of course,” Gee says.
“What am I over here, when he is…famous? He is famous, isn’t he?” Pete asks Mikey, because Mikey seems like he likes him.
“You are famous too,” Mikey says and Gee rolls his eyes.
“We are so more famous than you are…” he says. Mikey smiles in his direction.
“I’m a rockstar, right?” Pete asks ignoring Gee. Mikey nods. “Sweet.”
“He is still Pete.” Mikey says.
“So, guys, why are you here?”
“That is a really long…wait. It’s not. It’s short actually. Pete fucked everything up.” Gerard says. Gee nods in understanding.
“Hey!” Pete protests
But they ignore him, Mikey pats his arm and he lets him. He is not even two hours gone and he misses Mikey already.
~+~
“Ah…okay, so you don’t know how to get back and you don’t know when you will be pulled away again,” Gee sums it up. Gerard nods. “And it’s all Pete’s fault,” Gee adds, unnecessary, if you ask Pete.
“I didn’t know, okay?”
“It’s always the same excuse,” Gee says and Mikey nudges him.
“You guys hungry?” he asks.
Pete nods. “Hell, yes, I was working on this thing for hours…”
“You were in my basement for hours?”
“Mikey let me in,” Pete answers, shrugging.
“Seems Mikey is the same everywhere…” Gee whispers to Gerard and Gerard smiles at him. It is a bit surreal to smile at yourself and talk to yourself, even if you aren’t really talking to yourself, because Gee has no clue about what Gerard was building in his basement at home.
“It’s so surreal to know somewhere out there are other…me’s. Smarter me’s. Better me’s,”
“Maybe, we don’t know that. You are actually the first other dimension we are visiting,” Gerard answers.
“It’s still cool,” Gee says and then to his brother: “You think I could rock the glasses?”
“Like you’re bringing paleness back?” Mikey asks; one eyebrow raised. Gee nudges him and Mikey smiles. Fuck, Gerard thinks, fuck he really wants to go back. This isn’t half as much fun without Mikey at his side.
Pete ignores them all, he is watching his band (his band!) on Youtube, eating salad, because it was the only thing in the Way-fridge expect strawberry ice cream, and he doesn’t like that. His singer is pretty and has a great voice and Pete could easily fall in love with him.
“Who’s he?” he asks between two bites.
“Patrick…you actually love Patrick,” Mikey says.
“I bet.”
“You’re married.”
“To Patrick?”
“To Ashlee,” Gee says.
“I’m straight? I have this singer with me more than half of the year and I’m straight and married to a woman?” Pete asks; disbelief colouring his voice.
“You are stupidly in love and also have a son,” Gee says and Gerard laughs.
“You’re one to talk…” Mikey says and Gee has the grace to look a bit sheepish.
“I wanna see my wife…” Pete says. Mikey types Ashlee’s name into google and waits as Pete is scrolling through the picture search. “They look good together.”
“They are good together,” Gee says and Pete looks up, surprised. Gee shrugs.
~+~
They are eating breakfast two days later, Lindsey made pancakes, discussing what to do and who to meet because clearly he can’t do this alone, when Gerard sees it. Outside the window, where Pete is talking to Bob. (Gerard really likes that Bob guy, he wishes that there is one in his dimension too.) It starts slow and at first he thinks it’s just a smudge on the glass of the window. It’s not.
“Fuck!” he says as Bob bursts through the door.
“I think your ride is here,” Bob says, looking a bit freaked out. Which means his eyes are slightly rounder than usual.
“Fuck!” Both Gerards say and Lindsey and Mikey sigh.
~2~
Asylum 13
It becomes pretty much clear after the fifth slide that the hole is tied to Pete. They just don’t now why or how they can use it.
Gerard is covered in gore and slime as they arrive in a totally clean corridor. Everything is eerily silent and just too clean, too white.
“Somehow totally creepy, hmm?” Pete asks. Gerard nods, he fumbles for his cigarettes (He started smoking around the third slide, that one with the werewolves and shit. It was just a bit too much to handle alone. He needed the support, he can try to quit again if - when - they get home, he corrects himself), takes one out and is about to light it as Pete stops his hand. He is also still covered in slime. (Really, really, really big slugs.) His fingers feel cold around Gerard’s.
“What?” he hisses. He still doesn’t like Pete anymore than at the beginning of their journey. It’s a month now, well…thirty days, he doesn’t know how time flows in the real world, fuck, every world they were in was real. Their world.
“I think this is a hospital. You can’t smoke in here…it will set the alarm off.”
Gerard sighs, he doesn’t want to set any alarms off as long as he doesn’t know what is wrong with this world, or this version of himself or Pete or, well what is wrong in general and what they will need to deal with.
“Right, let’s find us some new clothes and a shower maybe,” he says. Pete lets go of his hand. He misses Mikey and asks himself what he is doing and if they’re trying to find out how to fix the machine. Mikey might be able to with a little help. Gerard didn’t tell Pete about Patrick yet, but he might. Maybe then Pete will hang all annoyingly on Patrick and not Mikey anymore. (He isn’t sure he wants to sacrifice Patrick, though.)
The only sound in the whole building seems to be the soft noise their feet make on the floor.
“This place gives me the heebie-jeebies…” Pete whispers beside Gerard, who nods, because yeah, he feels totally unsafe here as well.
“It’s not just a hospital…” Gerard says and just stops, Pete nearly runs into him.
“What the fuck?” Pete asks pissed off.
“Look,” Gerard answers nodding in the direction of a door. The small window shows a bed and nothing much else, the walls are white like everything else they’ve seen so far, but they are also padded.
“Is that me?” Pete asks, the figure on the bed is restrained and still as a doll. It looks a bit broken too.
“It’s not you,” Gerard says.
“You know what I mean,” Pete answers sharply. Gerard ignores him, he can’t even try to understand what might be wrong with this Pete. He opens the door quietly and Pete grabs his arm.
“You don’t have to go inside with me if you don’t want to,” Gerard says softly. Pete’s fingers tighten around his arm, Gerard waits.
“Okay…whatever. I’ll just stay here,” Pete says after a few endless seconds. Gerard nods.
“I’ll be right back. You need to open the door for me…after.”
“Right, I’ll be right here, just you know, knock on the glass or something,” Pete answers with a grin. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
~+~
The figure on the bed is asleep, and Gerard breaths easier after that. He’s seen things, he was prepared. He’s seen himself. He was not prepared to see Pete dead, he realises.
He looks around for a clue but who was he kidding, this is a padded cell after all. He finds nothing of interest.
He has to knock three times until Pete opens the door.
“What took you so fucking long?” Gerard asks, he is back to cursing like a sailor again. (He blames the slugs for this as well.)
“I was reading about Peter. Tried to kill himself,” Pete says, handing Gerard the file he found and slides down the wall until he sits with his arms curled around his knees.
“Oh…”
“Yeah, seems he couldn’t….I don’t know. What’s wrong with me?” he asks quietly.
“Nothing is wrong with you,” Gerard answers. Because it’s kind of true, this Pete is pretty sane compared to others they met. Pete laughs sharply and the sound echoes through the corridors. “Did you find someone else?”
“Just patients, no doctors or nurses.”
“Odd.”
“You think so?” Pete asks.
“What’s outside?”
“Night, as far as I can tell, might be something else entirely. But it looks like ordinary night to me. In the cafeteria are big French windows.”
“Any food?” Gerard asks, he is starving. After battling giant slugs from hell, besides he didn’t eat for hours, it feels like days. Maybe it was days. Who knows?
“Didn’t find any, didn’t search to be honest.” Pete answers, getting up from the floor.
“I need a shower,” Gerard says, he doesn’t like the silence that is screaming all around him He needs Pete to keep talking, but annoyingly enough Pete shuts up for once in his life. He just nods in agreement.
~+~
They find a shower in one of the changing rooms for the nurses and later a vending machine in the cafeteria, no food in the kitchen.
“They need to feed the patients, don’t they?” Gerard asks. He is eating a Snickers and cradling a cup of hot coffee.
“I think so…” Pete answers, he is staring into his cup, but not drinking. His hair is wet and hangs into his eyes; Gerard can’t tell what he is thinking. He feels uneasy. The night seems endless.
“We need to sleep.”
“Don’t think I can sleep in this creepy place…”
“We can’t venture out there in the middle of the fucking night.” Gerard counters. Pete nods.
“I don’t think I can sleep in here,” he repeats. Gerard gets up from the chair he was sitting in and over to the only couch in the room.
“I’ll try, you can wake me up if you change your mind.”
Pete nods again. The truth is Gerard is fucking worried about Pete and this place makes him feel like they are the only people alive. The empty kitchen and the sleeping patients. This just doesn’t seem right. And maybe this is an alternative universe with a lot of high technology, but people still need to eat, right? But if they’re not eating…why are they still alive and where are all the nurses and doctors that usually crowd a place like that?
“Just sleep…” Pete says softly and Gerard closes his eyes and tries.
~+~
“Gerard…” Pete’s voice sounds urgent and the fingers around his shoulder are nearly painful.
“What?” he asks, pale light is filtering through the windows into the cafeteria. Pete looks strange in this kind of light. Everything looks strange in this kind of light he supposes.
“There is a girl,” Pete hisses, letting go of Gerard’s shoulder. Gerard sits up carefully. Everything hurts a bit and he is cold. Couches aren’t made to sleep on, well this kind of couch isn’t made for that.
“A girl?”
Pete nods and Gerard follows Pete’s head with his eyes. Yes, there in the doorway stands a girl with long red hair. She looks pale and washed out, like her clothes. Like everything here.
“Who are you?” she asks, her voice sounds nice Gerard thinks. She looks a bit shy, staring at them like they’re ghosts.
“Gerard and this is Pete,” Gerard says softly. He doesn’t want to scare her away. She is the only other living…well, the only other awake person they’ve seen so far. “And you are?”
“Emilie,” she says. Her feet are bare and she only wears one of those hospital gowns. He still can see that she is slim and quite beautiful.
“Where are we?” Pete asks, his voice hoarse, like he was screaming for hours.
“Asylum 13,” she answers. She is inching closer to them with every word she speaks. “I’m starving,” she says, eyeing the candy bars, Gerard takes one and hands it over to her. She nods as she takes it. Pete doesn’t let her out of his sight.
“Where are the nurses?”
“Gone…” she says, taking one huge bite and staring out of the window.
“Where?” Pete wants to know.
“Why aren’t you asleep?” she asks suddenly.
“What?”
“You are always asleep when I’m walking by your room…why aren’t you asleep?”
“That’s not him,” Gerard says.
“It looks like him.” She answers, she is still staring at Pete. Gerard didn’t miss that she said ‘it’ not ‘he’. Something here is really not right.
“Why are you here?” Pete asks.
“I always was here…”
“Why aren’t you asleep like the others?” Gerard wants to know, she looks from Pete to him. Her eyes are green.
“I can’t sleep,” she says, she says it like it's something that is wrong with her. The sun is rising, it must be, but the cafeteria is still just covered in this pale light.
“Is it winter?” Gerard asks, this could be the answer to the light situation. Or maybe this is just how the days look like in this world.
“I don’t understand…”
“Good…okay, how can we get out of here then?” Pete says, he is itching all over. He can’t stand this place.
“Where will you want to go?” Emilie asks.
“Wherever. I don’t care, I just don’t want to be here anymore,” Pete says. He zips his hoodie up and looks over at Gerard.
“Yeah, let’s get out of here.”
“But there is nothing out there,” Emilie says.
“There is nothing here either,” Pete answers. Gerard nods. Pete is right, there is nothing here either. Just patients, asleep and the silence. Emilie keeps quiet, but she follows them as they’re leaving the cafeteria to search for a way out of the asylum.
~+~
As they’re standing outside the building Gerard understands exactly what Emilie meant. He feels sick. Pete looks green around the edges. Emilie stands in the doorway, she looks calm, maybe not as much calm as resigned. Gerard feels cold, he wishes for something warmer than the MCR-hoodie Mikey gave him on their first slide.
“Let’s go inside,” Gerard says, Pete nods, but he doesn’t move. Gerard really doesn’t want to look at the remains of a world that wasn’t even his anymore.
“I told you that there is nothing out there,” Emilie says. She shivers in the cold morning air. The world is pale white and nothing is in it. Absolutely nothing for miles. And in the distance he can see something burning. Well, he guesses it’s burning, as the ash rain is still falling on the ground to their feet.
“Pete…” Gerard says and grabs his sleeve. Pete nods again. Gerard pulls and Pete lets him.
The inside of Asylum 13 is warm compared to the outside. But Gerard still shivers, as does Pete.
“What happened?” Pete asks, Gerard doesn’t want to know.
“I was asleep,” she answers. And Gerard thinks they can’t leave her here.
~+~
“They will all die,” Pete says with a shiver.
“I know.”
“They are sleeping, they won’t feel a thing. I wish I never woke up. Why did I wake up?” Emilie says quietly. She is huddled under a blanket they found in one of the nurse offices. Pete is clutching a pillow and staring at the door Peter is sleeping in. Gerard is worried, worried about Pete and about Emilie and about himself. They’ve been here five days now, and he doesn’t think they can survive much longer, they don’t have much food left.
“We can’t leave them here!” Pete yells. And maybe that’s what keeps them here, maybe Pete keeps them here in a dying world because he is afraid to let go of the last few survivors, the problem in this is of course that they are the only survivors. Him, Pete and Emilie.
“We can’t help them. We don’t have enough food for us and besides, even if they would wake up…they wouldn’t make it. Pete.” Don’t keep us here, he thinks. “We can save Emilie,” Gerard says.
Emilie laughs sharply and Gerard looks at her. “You can’t save anyone…why did I wake up?” she asks again.
“Pete…” Gerard says. The heat broke down two days ago and he is nearly freezing to death. And still Pete made them live in this corridor for the last few days. A few days more and they will not have any water, because the pipes will freeze too. “This isn’t sane.” Gerard says and Pete looks up at him.
“I can’t leave him here.”
“Are you waiting for him to die?” Gerard asks. He knows the answers, but he needs to hear this. He can’t believe how this world changed Pete. Maybe he always was unstable, but they just didn’t see it. Maybe he needs…he is tied to Pete, he needs Pete to snap out of it!
“Why does it matter? We will die too… Why does it matter that he dies first?” Emilie asks, her voice sounds small. She looks a lot thinner than just a few days ago.
“Maybe he will…”
“He will not wake up, Pete. And even if he woke up…what would he wake up to?”
“An empty world… and silence. So much silence,” Emilie says.
Pete looks at her and maybe he sees her for the first time. She lost everything. Everything she knew and now she only waits for death to come. “I’m afraid to do it myself…” she admits with a nod in Peter’s direction. “I wish I was more like him.”
“You will come with us,” Pete says. She smiles at him, but she doesn’t believe him. “I can’t promise you that it will be better, the place we will land in, but it will be not this and besides, you have us now,” he finishes. Gerard half expects the hole to appear, but of course it doesn’t happen.
~+~
Emilie grabs his hand hard, he is sure her grip on Pete’s hand is equally hard. Pete grins at him.
“At the count of three. Three!” he says and Gerard knows Pete, so he isn’t surprised at all.
~Interlude~
I'm standing here until you make me move
“I can’t believe it…” Andy says. Mikey thinks he looks wrecked. He just came back from his trip to India and the first thing he hears is that Pete is gone and Gerard is too. It’s been three months now.
Mikey sips his coffee and tries not to look too hard at Patrick: Patrick does his best, and he knows he isn’t as much help as he probably should be.
Frank lost patience a few weeks ago, he also lost his fucking temper. Maybe, maybe he realises now what he lost.
“Where is Patrick?” Andy asks.
“In the basement. He wants Gerard back,” Joe says. He is rolling a joint. Mikey wishes he didn’t quit smoking. He would really love to smoke up with they guys right now.
“Did you tell Gabe?”
“Gabe is in the fucking desert…” Frank snaps.
“We can’t reach him,” Mikey answers, because it’s not cool to yell at Andy, even if he can understand what is going on in Frank’s head. He feels the loss, the fucking hole in his heart as it were his own. He needs his brother back.
“When will he be back?”
“A few days, weeks, months? Who knows. It’s Gabe,” Ray says. “We talked to Vicky. She tried to reach him, but so far no luck.“
Andy nods. “So, Patrick is doing this on his own.” It’s not a question.
“Mikey helps with the fine art of deciphering Gerard’s notes.”
“I just can’t find out to what the hole is tied to,” Patrick says from the door to the basement. He looks exhausted and Mikey feels guilty.
“I made you dinner,” Ray says getting up and into the kitchen. Patrick nods, entering the living room and sitting down on the couch next to Mikey.
“If I just knew what it was that Pete did…obviously I know where Gerard was going with his notes, it all makes perfect sense, but Pete seems to have fucked up something at the spur of the moment and it worked and now…” Patrick says, Mikey sets his mug down and leans into him.
“Now that Andy is here…maybe. He knows how Pete’s brain works.”
“As far as anyone knows how Pete’s brain works,” Andy says and Frank laughs darkly from the corner.
“I miss him,” Mikey says quietly.
“I miss him too,” Patrick says, stroking Mikey’s hair. Mikey sighs. He misses Gerard’s smell, unwashed boy and oil and his favourite gummy bears now, since he quit smoking. Something weird that tastes like coconut and strawberry.
“I will bring him back.” Patrick says after a while.
“Them.” Frank says from his corner, he is smoking and Mikey really itches for one too. He wonders if Gerard would have give in, if it were Mikey who was missing.
“Them.” Patrick says, nodding in Frank’s direction.
“Give me one too,” Mikey says.
He is fucking sure Gerard already started smoking, if he found a world that sells cigarettes.
~3~
Blood sucking is one way to say I love you
Emilie never lets go of his hand, like she fears they could leave her behind in one of these strange worlds. They would never. Until she says she wants to stay, as far as Gerard is concerned that will never happen. She likes them, they like her as well. He is pretty sure Emilie will never leave them.
“That was quite a slide, hmmm?” she says, getting up from the wet ground.
“Where the hell are we?” Gerard asks adjusting his glasses and then looking around. Anything he can see is green or brown. A fucking forest it seems. Great.
“Not in Kansas anymore, Toto.” Pete says with a grin, he got laid in the last world - more than once - and is now a really happy camper. Emilie laughs. Gerard hates Pete. A lot.
“Funny.”
“I thought so too,” Pete answers, he's still sitting on the wet grass. And it doesn't seem like he wants to get up any time soon.
“Get up,” Gerard says annoyed.
“We could sit it out this time, don't you think? It's kinda nice here.”
“It's wet,” Emilie says “and full of insects.”
“And maybe we will be eaten by giant slugs,” Gerard adds, Emilie looks amused for about as long as Pete needs to get up from the grass. (Three seconds. Gerard was counting.)
“Right. Let's go and find something to eat or a shower, a house...human beings,” Pete says, he is eyeing the nearby forest suspiciously. Gerard would snicker, but he is a nice person. So he doesn't.
~+~
They arrive at the outskirts of a bigger town at dusk. Gerard can't shake the feeling he's been here before, but that happens more often than not. Some of the worlds are so similar to his own, it's scary. He isn't even sure anymore he could recognise his world if he ever got home. He doesn't entertain these thoughts too often, he doesn't like to and besides usually there are more pressing matters at hand.
“Looks pretty normal to me,” Emilie says beside him, he nods absent-mindedly. It does look normal, but that doesn't mean anything. He and Pete learned that the hard way. He still has the scars that tell the story.
“We should find a hotel...” Pete answers. When Pete says a hotel he usually means 'The Empires' in which they are staying more often than not. If there is one, that is. (In that medieval world it was nothing more that a cottage, but it was there. And it felt safe.)
“I don't think we can get a cab around here,” Emilie says.
“I think she's right,” Gerard says, “also it's pretty fucking quiet here...”
“Well, then we just have one thing left to do, right?” Pete says with a grin. Gerard nods, he is not amused, but he is thankful that Pete knows how to pick a lock, also that he is a thief when he needs to be. They stole more cars than he cares to admit. He doesn't even want to know where Pete learned that.
~+~
They drive with the lights out, but the streets are deserted so it's not a problem.
“The Empires must be somewhere around here, I'm sure we were here before...” Emilie says into the silence of the car.
“It all feels familiar by now,” Gerard answers and Pete beside him nods.
“Still...I think the next right,” she says.
~+~
Gerard slows down as they're nearing The Empires.
“What?”
“Don't know...these people...kinda pale?” Gerard answers.
“You are fucking kidding, right?” Pete wants to know. Gerard shakes his head and wants to answer, but in that moment a really big scary looking car crashes through onto the parking lot and all hell breaks loose.
~+~
When he wakes up he finds himself tied to a chair. It all is a bit ridiculous. Also this whole discussion about putting a stake into his heart? A bit disturbing as well.
“He is not a vampire,” Mikey says stubbornly and Gerard is really fucking grateful.
“Where are my glasses?” Gerard asks, Bob gives him a look. It looks really scary.
“You don't wear glasses...” Mikey says, Frank in the corner keeps silent. Just watching.
“He does. Also maybe you could just set us outside in the sun and that will prove our point?” Pete says.
“Are you fucking suicidal?” Mikey asks.
“Ahm...”
“Don't answer that!” Mikey says, waving it off.
“Maybe you could let the girl go?” Gerard asks.
“No way, Gerard! I'm staying with you and Pete.” She looks fierce.
“Maybe something to eat then?” Gerard asks hopeful in Bob's direction. Bob nods a bit grumpy. “Thanks.” Gerard says and he means it.
“So...vampires? Hmm?” Pete asks.
“Okay, that is not Gerard,” Frank says from his corner and Mikey turns to look at him.
“He kinda is,” Pete says and then begins to tell an epic tale about how they landed here.
~+~
“I'm a vampire?”
“Obviously not!” Gerard says, it was so fucking clear that Pete would enjoy this whole vampire business.
“The other me is,” Pete answers petulantly. Mikey smiles. They are eating Coco Puffs in the small kitchen, swopping stories about worlds and it is really quite cool.
“I think Bob could help you with your machine. He is really good with this stuff,” Mikey says, lighting a cigarette and passing it over to Gerard before lightning up another for himself.
“That would be great, I really want to go home,” Gerard answers.
~+~
“What's wrong with Frank?” Gerard asks, Bob looks up from the construction plans he was studying.
“What?”
“He doesn't talk to me, he doesn't look at me... Did I do something wrong?”
“No, he and Gerard, our Gerard, they were together.” Bob says.
“Oh...”
“Yeah, he went missing on a mission a few days before you guys showed up.”
“You don't think he is alive, do you?” Gerard asks gently.
Bob shakes his head.
~+~
“He is not Gerard!” Frank says, and Gerard should back off right now, but then they would know that he is here in the first place. So that is out of question.
“He is...”
“He is not your brother.”
“Fuck you! He is Gerard, he talks like my brother, laughs like my brother, loves the same stupid comics as my brother.”
“He will not stay, Mikey,” Frank says, and his voice sounds soft.
“You can't know that! He doesn't even know that!” Mikey gives back sharply.
“Hey...” Frank says calmly. Gerard closes his eyes as he hears the soft sounds of kissing.
~+~
“You're moping around,” Emilie says, she is eating a cookie while reading a book Bob gave her, she seems to like him and Gerard wishes for one second that she could stay here. But this world is really strange and unsafe.
“I'm not,” Gerard answers.
“You kinda are,” Pete throws in.
“Mikey is sleeping with Frank,” he says. He needed to say it.
“I thought you and Frank?” Emilie asks.
“Yes.” Gerard answers.
“You think you and Mikey...?” Pete asks, trust Pete to ask these kinds of questions. That pervert.
“What? NO!” Gerard answers hotly. Because what the fuck.
“I didn't mean you should...”
“Just shut up,” Emilie says, passing a cookie to Gerard. Gerard nods his thanks.
~+~
Frank corners him outside two days later when he is trying to have a quiet smoke.
“You need to stop that,” he says.
“What?”
“Whatever you are doing with Mikey. You are not staying and he is not your brother!” Frank hisses. And Frank is really fucking scary, trained vampire killer or not. Okay? So Gerard backs into the wall, but still stands his ground. He can't give up Mikey. Mikey is the only thing he has here that reminds him of his home.
“He is alone, I am alone. He needs me, I need him. You are not going to tell me to leave him the fuck alone,” he spits. He is really scared, but also really angry at Frank, because Frank is treating him like shit and he gets it, but this Mikey issue, that's not his business.
“He is not your brother. His brother is dead!” Frank answers.
“You don't know that!” Gerard replies heatedly and thinks that Frank is gong to punch him in his stupid face. Frank's hands land heavy on both sides of Gerard's head. He takes a deep breath; Gerard can feel it on his skin.
“Are you scared?” he asks.
“No!” Gerard lies, because he is, but he’ll never let this Frank know it.
Frank sighs, leaning away from Gerard and then just leaves. Gerard takes a deep calming breath. And then another.
~+~
“Sorry,” Mikey says later that day.
“For what?”
“For Frank being a douchebag,” Mikey answers, “It's just that he misses him.”
“I know, I get it.” Gerard answers, leaning into Mikey and stroking his hair. Mikey hums. Gerard knows he could not give that up, not if he doesn't know if he can ever go back to is own brother.
~+~
“Let me help you for fuck's sake!” Gerard nearly yells.
“I can manage alone.”
“Frank! I know, I get it, but you have a fucking gash on your fucking back! You can't manage on your own,” Gerard says exasperated. They came back from a hunt looking pretty badly beat up and Gerard's stupid heart stopped for a few seconds back there when he first saw them. Emilie is patching Bob up and Pete is helping Ray and Gerard just wants to fix Frank's back, but Frank is being a bitch about it.
“I don't need your help!” Frank says.
“I do,” Mikey says softly from the chair he collapsed on.
“Fine! Have it your way,” Gerard says, taking the first aid kit and going over to Mikey to help him bandage his arm.
~+~
He spends the next three days in the basement with Bob, avoiding Frank and trying to build a new dimensional door, so he can go back home.
“Hey, Gerard?” Bob says, Gerard turns around to look at him.
“Yeah?”
“I made this, think it might be handy,” he says, passing Gerard something that looks like a cell phone, but when he looks at it properly there are numbers on the display and they count down.
“What's that?”
“Counts down how much time you have left in one dimension,” Bob answers shrugging.
“That, Bob Bryar, is really fucking awesome!” Gerard says grinning.
“Guess so...but, you know you guys have two days left here, I don't think we can finish the machine.”
“Fuck,” Gerard says with feeling. Emilie will not like this. He doesn't like this either.
~+~
“What do you mean with 'two days'?” Pete asks, he is totally into the training he's doing with Bob and Frank to become a vampire hunter. Gerard doesn't blame him - except for the usual that is.
“We will slide in two days,” Gerard answers calmly.
“But how do you know?!”
“Because Bob is awesome and made this!” Gerard says, passing his cell-thing over.
“Don't fucking break it!” he adds.
“Jesus! Paranoid much?” Pete mumbles. Emilie snickers.
~+~
They find Gerard the next day.
“Frank killed him...” Ray says, as he sits down heavy onto the couch.
“God...” Emilie whispers beside him. “How is he?”
“Not good...he attacked us, he was...they turned him,” Ray says, his voice sounds hollow. Gerard needs to find Mikey, but he is not sure he would be welcome now. Or ever again. Maybe it's a good thing that they leave tomorrow.
~+~
“Gerard...” Mikey's voice is soft, but urgent. Gerard looks up from the book he was pretending to read. And Gerard knows what he wants and he will not make Mikey ask for it. Maybe it's just okay because this Mikey is not his brother and because this Frank is not his either. And because he will never see them again. And because he knows they just need to says goodbye.
“Yeah, okay.”
“Yeah?” Mikey asks.
“Yeah,” Gerard repeats, he gets up from the couch and reaches out to Mikey. Mikey grabs his hand and they go to find Frank in their bedroom. Gerard is honest enough with himself that he was wondering, wondering about how it would be with Frank. But this Frank is not his, so everything is different.
Frank kisses hard and desperate. Pours all his misery and anger and grief into the kiss, into Gerard. And it's okay, because Mikey is gentle. His fingers on Gerard's skin are careful and his lips soft. Gerard has one moment of sheer panic as he feels Mikey's erection against his side, but then it fades all away into moans and lips, soft skin, harsh breathing, fingers that will leave bruises.
~+~
“Five minutes until we slide,” Gerard says, Pete hands him a mug of coffee and Emilie a cinnamon role. He really isn't that hungry, but she looks stern.
“Hard night?” Pete asks, his voice carefully even. Gerard has no illusions about this situation, he knows they know, but he doesn't care. There are bruises on his skin that will fade soon like he will fade into nothingness in their memories.
“It was okay,” Gerard says.
“Eat,” Emilie throws in with a soft smile. Gerard knows that one, she has that one when she needs to leave something behind she really loves. Like that one small cottage they had a few dimensions earlier. She loved it, everything was so simple. He had loved it as well.
“Two minutes,” Pete says, grabbing Emilie's hand. It's really fucking early in the morning, not even the sun is up yet.
“Yeah...” Gerard answers, taking a last sip and grabbing Emilie's other hand.
And then they leave the vampire infested world behind.
~Interlude~
Come over
Six months and they are still not one step closer to getting Gerard and Pete back. On the plus side: Gabe is back from the desert. He is helping Patrick in the basement since he came back two days earlier.
Mikey takes some of the sandwiches Andy made and goes down, because none of them has eaten.
“I think we have it!” Gabe says and Mikey rushes down.
“You know how to bring him back?” he asks, putting the plate aside.
“Yes and no, we know that the doors have to be open on both sides, so they can find their way back home. We can guide them.” Patrick explains.
“Oh...but we can’t have it open 24/7, right?” Mikey asks.
Gabe shakes his head. “It would take too much energy. Also, we don't know what else might come through that door. So we have to guard it.”
“Right, I brought you sandwiches.”
“Andy made them?” Patrick asks, Mikey nods. “I wish he would use real cheese from time to time...” he says sighing, Mikey smiles.
“We don’t want to hurt his vegan sensibilities, now do we?” Gabe says.
“Yeah, still...real cheese.” Patrick answers wistful.
“Maybe I can find you some...be right back,” Gabe says, getting up. Mikey knows he just wants to smoke up with Joe and maybe grab a bottle of tequila.
“There is no chance in hell he will come back soon...” Patrick says after they hear the door shut. Mikey nods.
Over the last few months he and Patrick became real close, but he is still not sure. Not sure at all what it is between them.
“Hey...you don't need to spend all your days here,” Mikey says softly.
“I want to help you, I want to be here...” Patrick answers, putting his half eaten sandwich back onto the plate.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah...” Patrick says and then he leans over and their lips meet. Patrick tastes like butter and tomato and that horrible vegan spread that Andy claims taste like mayonnaise - it doesn't. His lips are soft, and his fingers are curling into Mikey's shirt to pull him closer and for a few minutes he forgets about Gerard not being home.
next
Author: alles_luege
Pairing: Pete/Gerard/Brendon, Mikey/Patrick, Bob/Emilie Autumn, Frank/Gerard/Mikey, other minor pairings
Rating: R
Summary: So, it begins like this: Gerard is building a dimensional door in his basement, Pete somehow fucks it up and before Gerard can blink he is on an endless journey through different dimensions without knowing how to get back home with PETE of all people. He encounters zombies, serial killers, dying worlds, himself being famous, The Doctor and in the end he finds love.
Warning(s): angst, threesome, waycest, zombies, vampires, mentions of torture, also Gerard wears glasses
Author’s Notes: Sliders-Au written for bandom_au , prompt 39. Lyrics taken from: Lifehouse, Empires, Papa Roach and Staind. Honestly I could have written easily ten more chapters, because it was fun and also because the possibilities are endless! If you don't know who Emilie Autumn is, check her out! Posted in two parts for length.
Word Count: 15.669
Beta: tygermine (I only made the deadline because of her.)
Disclaimer: Don’t know, don’t own, not real.
~Prologue~
You could be anywhere
In the end if Gerard has to blame someone - and he will, he wants to, he does - it comes down to this: It’s all Pete’s fault.
He knew from the first time Mikey spoke to him that he will be trouble and now he messed up Gerard’s life and even worse, his fucking work!
~+~
“What did he do?” Mikey asks.
“I’m not exactly sure…” Patrick admits.
“I hope to hell you can fix it,” Frank says and he really looks pissed off. Mikey wishes he was here when it happened. Maybe he could have stopped it. He doesn’t want to think about life without Gerard. The utter loneliness that is his future is enough to push him to fix this monumental fuck up.
“Can you bring him back?” he asks.
“Them,” Joe says. Frank gives him a vicious look.
“Who cares about that idiot? It’s all his fault.”
“I do….” Mikey says softly and Frank shuts up.
“I need to find out what went wrong…they’re…”
“Just gone. Maybe we could just jump in as well?” Joe asks.
“No! We will never find a way back, we can’t even be sure we will arrive where they are. It’s too dangerous.”
“Gerard didn’t finish it…he was working on something that can make you decide where you land and how long you’ll stay,” Mikey continues. Patrick nods going through Gerard’s papers and instructions.
“Shit,” Joe says and Mikey thinks that he nailed it just right.
~1~
I wanna be famous
“What the hell where you thinking?” Gerard asks pissed off, he doesn’t yell, because he is a fucking polite person.
“I thought I knew how to make it work and look! I was right!” Pete answers defensively. Gerard could strangle him right now. With his bare hands.
“We can’t go back!” Gerard says and Pete’s face falls.
“What do you mean?”
“The machine wasn’t finished. We can’t actually control where we will land. And it’s All. Your. Fault!” Gerard says sharply. He isn’t prepared for this. This whole thing is a mistake and what makes it that much worse, is Mikey isn’t here. But instead he is trapped in another world (millions of other worlds!) with PETE.
“You just need to finish it over here then…” Pete says and Gerard really, really, really
wants to strangle him. The idiot doesn’t understand a thing. For fuck’s sake!
“We don’t even know where we are,” he says instead, he needs a cigarette, why the hell did he quit?!
“Well, one way to find out,” Pete answers and opens the basement door. “Looks like your living room…well, maybe not exactly like your living room…but close?”
Gerard doesn’t think that it looks like his living room. At all.
“This is about art…and music…” he says as he goes through the books. “Nothing about…science. At all.”
“I guess, someone else is living here then,” Pete says.
“Right genius. Maybe we should go then? As this can be counted as breaking and entering,” Gerard answers. He really doesn’t like Pete.
“Hmmm…” Pete says, he sounds distracted.
“What?”
“I think you are living here…”
“I’m not.”
“Look!” Pete says, turning around and holding a frame up. It’s a picture of him, well without the glasses and he is smoking a cigarette and there is Mikey and he looks so stupidly familiar and…
“Give me that!”
“I think you live here…or well, the other you or something.”
“Hmmm…” he misses Mikey, he needs to go back. He needs to find a way back home. Maybe he will leave Pete here, as payback for being a moron.
“And I think you are married and maybe have a kid? You’re straight!?!”
“What the fuck?!” He hates Pete.
“Well…he looks happy,” Pete says and Gerard thinks that too, except when he looks up Pete isn’t looking at photos of him, but of Mikey with some girl. It’s a wedding.
“Mikey has a wife…” Gerard says and thinks that she really is pretty.
“Seems so…”
~+~
“What the hell! You so didn’t win, Mikey!”
They hear someone laugh.
“Fuck,” Pete says and Gerard thinks, yes that sums it up.
“I just wasn’t prepared…” Gerard’s clone begins and stops. Then he turns around to his brother. “Why is Pete in my house again, Mikey?”
“Seems he doesn’t like you,” Gerard whispers to Pete.
“I have no idea, but a more pressing matter I think…is why are you at your house?”
“Mikey is so random…” Pete whispers back.
“What? I am not!” Mikey says.
“You really are,” say both Gerards.
“It’s so creepy…” Pete says and both Gerards glare in his direction.
“So…you are what? Evil twins? Future selves? Past selves?” Mikey asks, Gerard always knew it was no good that his brother was hanging out with Gabe Saporta.
“This is all Gabe’s fault!” They say in unison. And Mikey rolls his eyes.
“Actually it’s not…this time,” Gerard says and glares at Pete again.
“Pete, of course,” Gee says.
“What am I over here, when he is…famous? He is famous, isn’t he?” Pete asks Mikey, because Mikey seems like he likes him.
“You are famous too,” Mikey says and Gee rolls his eyes.
“We are so more famous than you are…” he says. Mikey smiles in his direction.
“I’m a rockstar, right?” Pete asks ignoring Gee. Mikey nods. “Sweet.”
“He is still Pete.” Mikey says.
“So, guys, why are you here?”
“That is a really long…wait. It’s not. It’s short actually. Pete fucked everything up.” Gerard says. Gee nods in understanding.
“Hey!” Pete protests
But they ignore him, Mikey pats his arm and he lets him. He is not even two hours gone and he misses Mikey already.
~+~
“Ah…okay, so you don’t know how to get back and you don’t know when you will be pulled away again,” Gee sums it up. Gerard nods. “And it’s all Pete’s fault,” Gee adds, unnecessary, if you ask Pete.
“I didn’t know, okay?”
“It’s always the same excuse,” Gee says and Mikey nudges him.
“You guys hungry?” he asks.
Pete nods. “Hell, yes, I was working on this thing for hours…”
“You were in my basement for hours?”
“Mikey let me in,” Pete answers, shrugging.
“Seems Mikey is the same everywhere…” Gee whispers to Gerard and Gerard smiles at him. It is a bit surreal to smile at yourself and talk to yourself, even if you aren’t really talking to yourself, because Gee has no clue about what Gerard was building in his basement at home.
“It’s so surreal to know somewhere out there are other…me’s. Smarter me’s. Better me’s,”
“Maybe, we don’t know that. You are actually the first other dimension we are visiting,” Gerard answers.
“It’s still cool,” Gee says and then to his brother: “You think I could rock the glasses?”
“Like you’re bringing paleness back?” Mikey asks; one eyebrow raised. Gee nudges him and Mikey smiles. Fuck, Gerard thinks, fuck he really wants to go back. This isn’t half as much fun without Mikey at his side.
Pete ignores them all, he is watching his band (his band!) on Youtube, eating salad, because it was the only thing in the Way-fridge expect strawberry ice cream, and he doesn’t like that. His singer is pretty and has a great voice and Pete could easily fall in love with him.
“Who’s he?” he asks between two bites.
“Patrick…you actually love Patrick,” Mikey says.
“I bet.”
“You’re married.”
“To Patrick?”
“To Ashlee,” Gee says.
“I’m straight? I have this singer with me more than half of the year and I’m straight and married to a woman?” Pete asks; disbelief colouring his voice.
“You are stupidly in love and also have a son,” Gee says and Gerard laughs.
“You’re one to talk…” Mikey says and Gee has the grace to look a bit sheepish.
“I wanna see my wife…” Pete says. Mikey types Ashlee’s name into google and waits as Pete is scrolling through the picture search. “They look good together.”
“They are good together,” Gee says and Pete looks up, surprised. Gee shrugs.
~+~
They are eating breakfast two days later, Lindsey made pancakes, discussing what to do and who to meet because clearly he can’t do this alone, when Gerard sees it. Outside the window, where Pete is talking to Bob. (Gerard really likes that Bob guy, he wishes that there is one in his dimension too.) It starts slow and at first he thinks it’s just a smudge on the glass of the window. It’s not.
“Fuck!” he says as Bob bursts through the door.
“I think your ride is here,” Bob says, looking a bit freaked out. Which means his eyes are slightly rounder than usual.
“Fuck!” Both Gerards say and Lindsey and Mikey sigh.
~2~
Asylum 13
It becomes pretty much clear after the fifth slide that the hole is tied to Pete. They just don’t now why or how they can use it.
Gerard is covered in gore and slime as they arrive in a totally clean corridor. Everything is eerily silent and just too clean, too white.
“Somehow totally creepy, hmm?” Pete asks. Gerard nods, he fumbles for his cigarettes (He started smoking around the third slide, that one with the werewolves and shit. It was just a bit too much to handle alone. He needed the support, he can try to quit again if - when - they get home, he corrects himself), takes one out and is about to light it as Pete stops his hand. He is also still covered in slime. (Really, really, really big slugs.) His fingers feel cold around Gerard’s.
“What?” he hisses. He still doesn’t like Pete anymore than at the beginning of their journey. It’s a month now, well…thirty days, he doesn’t know how time flows in the real world, fuck, every world they were in was real. Their world.
“I think this is a hospital. You can’t smoke in here…it will set the alarm off.”
Gerard sighs, he doesn’t want to set any alarms off as long as he doesn’t know what is wrong with this world, or this version of himself or Pete or, well what is wrong in general and what they will need to deal with.
“Right, let’s find us some new clothes and a shower maybe,” he says. Pete lets go of his hand. He misses Mikey and asks himself what he is doing and if they’re trying to find out how to fix the machine. Mikey might be able to with a little help. Gerard didn’t tell Pete about Patrick yet, but he might. Maybe then Pete will hang all annoyingly on Patrick and not Mikey anymore. (He isn’t sure he wants to sacrifice Patrick, though.)
The only sound in the whole building seems to be the soft noise their feet make on the floor.
“This place gives me the heebie-jeebies…” Pete whispers beside Gerard, who nods, because yeah, he feels totally unsafe here as well.
“It’s not just a hospital…” Gerard says and just stops, Pete nearly runs into him.
“What the fuck?” Pete asks pissed off.
“Look,” Gerard answers nodding in the direction of a door. The small window shows a bed and nothing much else, the walls are white like everything else they’ve seen so far, but they are also padded.
“Is that me?” Pete asks, the figure on the bed is restrained and still as a doll. It looks a bit broken too.
“It’s not you,” Gerard says.
“You know what I mean,” Pete answers sharply. Gerard ignores him, he can’t even try to understand what might be wrong with this Pete. He opens the door quietly and Pete grabs his arm.
“You don’t have to go inside with me if you don’t want to,” Gerard says softly. Pete’s fingers tighten around his arm, Gerard waits.
“Okay…whatever. I’ll just stay here,” Pete says after a few endless seconds. Gerard nods.
“I’ll be right back. You need to open the door for me…after.”
“Right, I’ll be right here, just you know, knock on the glass or something,” Pete answers with a grin. It doesn’t quite reach his eyes.
~+~
The figure on the bed is asleep, and Gerard breaths easier after that. He’s seen things, he was prepared. He’s seen himself. He was not prepared to see Pete dead, he realises.
He looks around for a clue but who was he kidding, this is a padded cell after all. He finds nothing of interest.
He has to knock three times until Pete opens the door.
“What took you so fucking long?” Gerard asks, he is back to cursing like a sailor again. (He blames the slugs for this as well.)
“I was reading about Peter. Tried to kill himself,” Pete says, handing Gerard the file he found and slides down the wall until he sits with his arms curled around his knees.
“Oh…”
“Yeah, seems he couldn’t….I don’t know. What’s wrong with me?” he asks quietly.
“Nothing is wrong with you,” Gerard answers. Because it’s kind of true, this Pete is pretty sane compared to others they met. Pete laughs sharply and the sound echoes through the corridors. “Did you find someone else?”
“Just patients, no doctors or nurses.”
“Odd.”
“You think so?” Pete asks.
“What’s outside?”
“Night, as far as I can tell, might be something else entirely. But it looks like ordinary night to me. In the cafeteria are big French windows.”
“Any food?” Gerard asks, he is starving. After battling giant slugs from hell, besides he didn’t eat for hours, it feels like days. Maybe it was days. Who knows?
“Didn’t find any, didn’t search to be honest.” Pete answers, getting up from the floor.
“I need a shower,” Gerard says, he doesn’t like the silence that is screaming all around him He needs Pete to keep talking, but annoyingly enough Pete shuts up for once in his life. He just nods in agreement.
~+~
They find a shower in one of the changing rooms for the nurses and later a vending machine in the cafeteria, no food in the kitchen.
“They need to feed the patients, don’t they?” Gerard asks. He is eating a Snickers and cradling a cup of hot coffee.
“I think so…” Pete answers, he is staring into his cup, but not drinking. His hair is wet and hangs into his eyes; Gerard can’t tell what he is thinking. He feels uneasy. The night seems endless.
“We need to sleep.”
“Don’t think I can sleep in this creepy place…”
“We can’t venture out there in the middle of the fucking night.” Gerard counters. Pete nods.
“I don’t think I can sleep in here,” he repeats. Gerard gets up from the chair he was sitting in and over to the only couch in the room.
“I’ll try, you can wake me up if you change your mind.”
Pete nods again. The truth is Gerard is fucking worried about Pete and this place makes him feel like they are the only people alive. The empty kitchen and the sleeping patients. This just doesn’t seem right. And maybe this is an alternative universe with a lot of high technology, but people still need to eat, right? But if they’re not eating…why are they still alive and where are all the nurses and doctors that usually crowd a place like that?
“Just sleep…” Pete says softly and Gerard closes his eyes and tries.
~+~
“Gerard…” Pete’s voice sounds urgent and the fingers around his shoulder are nearly painful.
“What?” he asks, pale light is filtering through the windows into the cafeteria. Pete looks strange in this kind of light. Everything looks strange in this kind of light he supposes.
“There is a girl,” Pete hisses, letting go of Gerard’s shoulder. Gerard sits up carefully. Everything hurts a bit and he is cold. Couches aren’t made to sleep on, well this kind of couch isn’t made for that.
“A girl?”
Pete nods and Gerard follows Pete’s head with his eyes. Yes, there in the doorway stands a girl with long red hair. She looks pale and washed out, like her clothes. Like everything here.
“Who are you?” she asks, her voice sounds nice Gerard thinks. She looks a bit shy, staring at them like they’re ghosts.
“Gerard and this is Pete,” Gerard says softly. He doesn’t want to scare her away. She is the only other living…well, the only other awake person they’ve seen so far. “And you are?”
“Emilie,” she says. Her feet are bare and she only wears one of those hospital gowns. He still can see that she is slim and quite beautiful.
“Where are we?” Pete asks, his voice hoarse, like he was screaming for hours.
“Asylum 13,” she answers. She is inching closer to them with every word she speaks. “I’m starving,” she says, eyeing the candy bars, Gerard takes one and hands it over to her. She nods as she takes it. Pete doesn’t let her out of his sight.
“Where are the nurses?”
“Gone…” she says, taking one huge bite and staring out of the window.
“Where?” Pete wants to know.
“Why aren’t you asleep?” she asks suddenly.
“What?”
“You are always asleep when I’m walking by your room…why aren’t you asleep?”
“That’s not him,” Gerard says.
“It looks like him.” She answers, she is still staring at Pete. Gerard didn’t miss that she said ‘it’ not ‘he’. Something here is really not right.
“Why are you here?” Pete asks.
“I always was here…”
“Why aren’t you asleep like the others?” Gerard wants to know, she looks from Pete to him. Her eyes are green.
“I can’t sleep,” she says, she says it like it's something that is wrong with her. The sun is rising, it must be, but the cafeteria is still just covered in this pale light.
“Is it winter?” Gerard asks, this could be the answer to the light situation. Or maybe this is just how the days look like in this world.
“I don’t understand…”
“Good…okay, how can we get out of here then?” Pete says, he is itching all over. He can’t stand this place.
“Where will you want to go?” Emilie asks.
“Wherever. I don’t care, I just don’t want to be here anymore,” Pete says. He zips his hoodie up and looks over at Gerard.
“Yeah, let’s get out of here.”
“But there is nothing out there,” Emilie says.
“There is nothing here either,” Pete answers. Gerard nods. Pete is right, there is nothing here either. Just patients, asleep and the silence. Emilie keeps quiet, but she follows them as they’re leaving the cafeteria to search for a way out of the asylum.
~+~
As they’re standing outside the building Gerard understands exactly what Emilie meant. He feels sick. Pete looks green around the edges. Emilie stands in the doorway, she looks calm, maybe not as much calm as resigned. Gerard feels cold, he wishes for something warmer than the MCR-hoodie Mikey gave him on their first slide.
“Let’s go inside,” Gerard says, Pete nods, but he doesn’t move. Gerard really doesn’t want to look at the remains of a world that wasn’t even his anymore.
“I told you that there is nothing out there,” Emilie says. She shivers in the cold morning air. The world is pale white and nothing is in it. Absolutely nothing for miles. And in the distance he can see something burning. Well, he guesses it’s burning, as the ash rain is still falling on the ground to their feet.
“Pete…” Gerard says and grabs his sleeve. Pete nods again. Gerard pulls and Pete lets him.
The inside of Asylum 13 is warm compared to the outside. But Gerard still shivers, as does Pete.
“What happened?” Pete asks, Gerard doesn’t want to know.
“I was asleep,” she answers. And Gerard thinks they can’t leave her here.
~+~
“They will all die,” Pete says with a shiver.
“I know.”
“They are sleeping, they won’t feel a thing. I wish I never woke up. Why did I wake up?” Emilie says quietly. She is huddled under a blanket they found in one of the nurse offices. Pete is clutching a pillow and staring at the door Peter is sleeping in. Gerard is worried, worried about Pete and about Emilie and about himself. They’ve been here five days now, and he doesn’t think they can survive much longer, they don’t have much food left.
“We can’t leave them here!” Pete yells. And maybe that’s what keeps them here, maybe Pete keeps them here in a dying world because he is afraid to let go of the last few survivors, the problem in this is of course that they are the only survivors. Him, Pete and Emilie.
“We can’t help them. We don’t have enough food for us and besides, even if they would wake up…they wouldn’t make it. Pete.” Don’t keep us here, he thinks. “We can save Emilie,” Gerard says.
Emilie laughs sharply and Gerard looks at her. “You can’t save anyone…why did I wake up?” she asks again.
“Pete…” Gerard says. The heat broke down two days ago and he is nearly freezing to death. And still Pete made them live in this corridor for the last few days. A few days more and they will not have any water, because the pipes will freeze too. “This isn’t sane.” Gerard says and Pete looks up at him.
“I can’t leave him here.”
“Are you waiting for him to die?” Gerard asks. He knows the answers, but he needs to hear this. He can’t believe how this world changed Pete. Maybe he always was unstable, but they just didn’t see it. Maybe he needs…he is tied to Pete, he needs Pete to snap out of it!
“Why does it matter? We will die too… Why does it matter that he dies first?” Emilie asks, her voice sounds small. She looks a lot thinner than just a few days ago.
“Maybe he will…”
“He will not wake up, Pete. And even if he woke up…what would he wake up to?”
“An empty world… and silence. So much silence,” Emilie says.
Pete looks at her and maybe he sees her for the first time. She lost everything. Everything she knew and now she only waits for death to come. “I’m afraid to do it myself…” she admits with a nod in Peter’s direction. “I wish I was more like him.”
“You will come with us,” Pete says. She smiles at him, but she doesn’t believe him. “I can’t promise you that it will be better, the place we will land in, but it will be not this and besides, you have us now,” he finishes. Gerard half expects the hole to appear, but of course it doesn’t happen.
~+~
Emilie grabs his hand hard, he is sure her grip on Pete’s hand is equally hard. Pete grins at him.
“At the count of three. Three!” he says and Gerard knows Pete, so he isn’t surprised at all.
~Interlude~
I'm standing here until you make me move
“I can’t believe it…” Andy says. Mikey thinks he looks wrecked. He just came back from his trip to India and the first thing he hears is that Pete is gone and Gerard is too. It’s been three months now.
Mikey sips his coffee and tries not to look too hard at Patrick: Patrick does his best, and he knows he isn’t as much help as he probably should be.
Frank lost patience a few weeks ago, he also lost his fucking temper. Maybe, maybe he realises now what he lost.
“Where is Patrick?” Andy asks.
“In the basement. He wants Gerard back,” Joe says. He is rolling a joint. Mikey wishes he didn’t quit smoking. He would really love to smoke up with they guys right now.
“Did you tell Gabe?”
“Gabe is in the fucking desert…” Frank snaps.
“We can’t reach him,” Mikey answers, because it’s not cool to yell at Andy, even if he can understand what is going on in Frank’s head. He feels the loss, the fucking hole in his heart as it were his own. He needs his brother back.
“When will he be back?”
“A few days, weeks, months? Who knows. It’s Gabe,” Ray says. “We talked to Vicky. She tried to reach him, but so far no luck.“
Andy nods. “So, Patrick is doing this on his own.” It’s not a question.
“Mikey helps with the fine art of deciphering Gerard’s notes.”
“I just can’t find out to what the hole is tied to,” Patrick says from the door to the basement. He looks exhausted and Mikey feels guilty.
“I made you dinner,” Ray says getting up and into the kitchen. Patrick nods, entering the living room and sitting down on the couch next to Mikey.
“If I just knew what it was that Pete did…obviously I know where Gerard was going with his notes, it all makes perfect sense, but Pete seems to have fucked up something at the spur of the moment and it worked and now…” Patrick says, Mikey sets his mug down and leans into him.
“Now that Andy is here…maybe. He knows how Pete’s brain works.”
“As far as anyone knows how Pete’s brain works,” Andy says and Frank laughs darkly from the corner.
“I miss him,” Mikey says quietly.
“I miss him too,” Patrick says, stroking Mikey’s hair. Mikey sighs. He misses Gerard’s smell, unwashed boy and oil and his favourite gummy bears now, since he quit smoking. Something weird that tastes like coconut and strawberry.
“I will bring him back.” Patrick says after a while.
“Them.” Frank says from his corner, he is smoking and Mikey really itches for one too. He wonders if Gerard would have give in, if it were Mikey who was missing.
“Them.” Patrick says, nodding in Frank’s direction.
“Give me one too,” Mikey says.
He is fucking sure Gerard already started smoking, if he found a world that sells cigarettes.
~3~
Blood sucking is one way to say I love you
Emilie never lets go of his hand, like she fears they could leave her behind in one of these strange worlds. They would never. Until she says she wants to stay, as far as Gerard is concerned that will never happen. She likes them, they like her as well. He is pretty sure Emilie will never leave them.
“That was quite a slide, hmmm?” she says, getting up from the wet ground.
“Where the hell are we?” Gerard asks adjusting his glasses and then looking around. Anything he can see is green or brown. A fucking forest it seems. Great.
“Not in Kansas anymore, Toto.” Pete says with a grin, he got laid in the last world - more than once - and is now a really happy camper. Emilie laughs. Gerard hates Pete. A lot.
“Funny.”
“I thought so too,” Pete answers, he's still sitting on the wet grass. And it doesn't seem like he wants to get up any time soon.
“Get up,” Gerard says annoyed.
“We could sit it out this time, don't you think? It's kinda nice here.”
“It's wet,” Emilie says “and full of insects.”
“And maybe we will be eaten by giant slugs,” Gerard adds, Emilie looks amused for about as long as Pete needs to get up from the grass. (Three seconds. Gerard was counting.)
“Right. Let's go and find something to eat or a shower, a house...human beings,” Pete says, he is eyeing the nearby forest suspiciously. Gerard would snicker, but he is a nice person. So he doesn't.
~+~
They arrive at the outskirts of a bigger town at dusk. Gerard can't shake the feeling he's been here before, but that happens more often than not. Some of the worlds are so similar to his own, it's scary. He isn't even sure anymore he could recognise his world if he ever got home. He doesn't entertain these thoughts too often, he doesn't like to and besides usually there are more pressing matters at hand.
“Looks pretty normal to me,” Emilie says beside him, he nods absent-mindedly. It does look normal, but that doesn't mean anything. He and Pete learned that the hard way. He still has the scars that tell the story.
“We should find a hotel...” Pete answers. When Pete says a hotel he usually means 'The Empires' in which they are staying more often than not. If there is one, that is. (In that medieval world it was nothing more that a cottage, but it was there. And it felt safe.)
“I don't think we can get a cab around here,” Emilie says.
“I think she's right,” Gerard says, “also it's pretty fucking quiet here...”
“Well, then we just have one thing left to do, right?” Pete says with a grin. Gerard nods, he is not amused, but he is thankful that Pete knows how to pick a lock, also that he is a thief when he needs to be. They stole more cars than he cares to admit. He doesn't even want to know where Pete learned that.
~+~
They drive with the lights out, but the streets are deserted so it's not a problem.
“The Empires must be somewhere around here, I'm sure we were here before...” Emilie says into the silence of the car.
“It all feels familiar by now,” Gerard answers and Pete beside him nods.
“Still...I think the next right,” she says.
~+~
Gerard slows down as they're nearing The Empires.
“What?”
“Don't know...these people...kinda pale?” Gerard answers.
“You are fucking kidding, right?” Pete wants to know. Gerard shakes his head and wants to answer, but in that moment a really big scary looking car crashes through onto the parking lot and all hell breaks loose.
~+~
When he wakes up he finds himself tied to a chair. It all is a bit ridiculous. Also this whole discussion about putting a stake into his heart? A bit disturbing as well.
“He is not a vampire,” Mikey says stubbornly and Gerard is really fucking grateful.
“Where are my glasses?” Gerard asks, Bob gives him a look. It looks really scary.
“You don't wear glasses...” Mikey says, Frank in the corner keeps silent. Just watching.
“He does. Also maybe you could just set us outside in the sun and that will prove our point?” Pete says.
“Are you fucking suicidal?” Mikey asks.
“Ahm...”
“Don't answer that!” Mikey says, waving it off.
“Maybe you could let the girl go?” Gerard asks.
“No way, Gerard! I'm staying with you and Pete.” She looks fierce.
“Maybe something to eat then?” Gerard asks hopeful in Bob's direction. Bob nods a bit grumpy. “Thanks.” Gerard says and he means it.
“So...vampires? Hmm?” Pete asks.
“Okay, that is not Gerard,” Frank says from his corner and Mikey turns to look at him.
“He kinda is,” Pete says and then begins to tell an epic tale about how they landed here.
~+~
“I'm a vampire?”
“Obviously not!” Gerard says, it was so fucking clear that Pete would enjoy this whole vampire business.
“The other me is,” Pete answers petulantly. Mikey smiles. They are eating Coco Puffs in the small kitchen, swopping stories about worlds and it is really quite cool.
“I think Bob could help you with your machine. He is really good with this stuff,” Mikey says, lighting a cigarette and passing it over to Gerard before lightning up another for himself.
“That would be great, I really want to go home,” Gerard answers.
~+~
“What's wrong with Frank?” Gerard asks, Bob looks up from the construction plans he was studying.
“What?”
“He doesn't talk to me, he doesn't look at me... Did I do something wrong?”
“No, he and Gerard, our Gerard, they were together.” Bob says.
“Oh...”
“Yeah, he went missing on a mission a few days before you guys showed up.”
“You don't think he is alive, do you?” Gerard asks gently.
Bob shakes his head.
~+~
“He is not Gerard!” Frank says, and Gerard should back off right now, but then they would know that he is here in the first place. So that is out of question.
“He is...”
“He is not your brother.”
“Fuck you! He is Gerard, he talks like my brother, laughs like my brother, loves the same stupid comics as my brother.”
“He will not stay, Mikey,” Frank says, and his voice sounds soft.
“You can't know that! He doesn't even know that!” Mikey gives back sharply.
“Hey...” Frank says calmly. Gerard closes his eyes as he hears the soft sounds of kissing.
~+~
“You're moping around,” Emilie says, she is eating a cookie while reading a book Bob gave her, she seems to like him and Gerard wishes for one second that she could stay here. But this world is really strange and unsafe.
“I'm not,” Gerard answers.
“You kinda are,” Pete throws in.
“Mikey is sleeping with Frank,” he says. He needed to say it.
“I thought you and Frank?” Emilie asks.
“Yes.” Gerard answers.
“You think you and Mikey...?” Pete asks, trust Pete to ask these kinds of questions. That pervert.
“What? NO!” Gerard answers hotly. Because what the fuck.
“I didn't mean you should...”
“Just shut up,” Emilie says, passing a cookie to Gerard. Gerard nods his thanks.
~+~
Frank corners him outside two days later when he is trying to have a quiet smoke.
“You need to stop that,” he says.
“What?”
“Whatever you are doing with Mikey. You are not staying and he is not your brother!” Frank hisses. And Frank is really fucking scary, trained vampire killer or not. Okay? So Gerard backs into the wall, but still stands his ground. He can't give up Mikey. Mikey is the only thing he has here that reminds him of his home.
“He is alone, I am alone. He needs me, I need him. You are not going to tell me to leave him the fuck alone,” he spits. He is really scared, but also really angry at Frank, because Frank is treating him like shit and he gets it, but this Mikey issue, that's not his business.
“He is not your brother. His brother is dead!” Frank answers.
“You don't know that!” Gerard replies heatedly and thinks that Frank is gong to punch him in his stupid face. Frank's hands land heavy on both sides of Gerard's head. He takes a deep breath; Gerard can feel it on his skin.
“Are you scared?” he asks.
“No!” Gerard lies, because he is, but he’ll never let this Frank know it.
Frank sighs, leaning away from Gerard and then just leaves. Gerard takes a deep calming breath. And then another.
~+~
“Sorry,” Mikey says later that day.
“For what?”
“For Frank being a douchebag,” Mikey answers, “It's just that he misses him.”
“I know, I get it.” Gerard answers, leaning into Mikey and stroking his hair. Mikey hums. Gerard knows he could not give that up, not if he doesn't know if he can ever go back to is own brother.
~+~
“Let me help you for fuck's sake!” Gerard nearly yells.
“I can manage alone.”
“Frank! I know, I get it, but you have a fucking gash on your fucking back! You can't manage on your own,” Gerard says exasperated. They came back from a hunt looking pretty badly beat up and Gerard's stupid heart stopped for a few seconds back there when he first saw them. Emilie is patching Bob up and Pete is helping Ray and Gerard just wants to fix Frank's back, but Frank is being a bitch about it.
“I don't need your help!” Frank says.
“I do,” Mikey says softly from the chair he collapsed on.
“Fine! Have it your way,” Gerard says, taking the first aid kit and going over to Mikey to help him bandage his arm.
~+~
He spends the next three days in the basement with Bob, avoiding Frank and trying to build a new dimensional door, so he can go back home.
“Hey, Gerard?” Bob says, Gerard turns around to look at him.
“Yeah?”
“I made this, think it might be handy,” he says, passing Gerard something that looks like a cell phone, but when he looks at it properly there are numbers on the display and they count down.
“What's that?”
“Counts down how much time you have left in one dimension,” Bob answers shrugging.
“That, Bob Bryar, is really fucking awesome!” Gerard says grinning.
“Guess so...but, you know you guys have two days left here, I don't think we can finish the machine.”
“Fuck,” Gerard says with feeling. Emilie will not like this. He doesn't like this either.
~+~
“What do you mean with 'two days'?” Pete asks, he is totally into the training he's doing with Bob and Frank to become a vampire hunter. Gerard doesn't blame him - except for the usual that is.
“We will slide in two days,” Gerard answers calmly.
“But how do you know?!”
“Because Bob is awesome and made this!” Gerard says, passing his cell-thing over.
“Don't fucking break it!” he adds.
“Jesus! Paranoid much?” Pete mumbles. Emilie snickers.
~+~
They find Gerard the next day.
“Frank killed him...” Ray says, as he sits down heavy onto the couch.
“God...” Emilie whispers beside him. “How is he?”
“Not good...he attacked us, he was...they turned him,” Ray says, his voice sounds hollow. Gerard needs to find Mikey, but he is not sure he would be welcome now. Or ever again. Maybe it's a good thing that they leave tomorrow.
~+~
“Gerard...” Mikey's voice is soft, but urgent. Gerard looks up from the book he was pretending to read. And Gerard knows what he wants and he will not make Mikey ask for it. Maybe it's just okay because this Mikey is not his brother and because this Frank is not his either. And because he will never see them again. And because he knows they just need to says goodbye.
“Yeah, okay.”
“Yeah?” Mikey asks.
“Yeah,” Gerard repeats, he gets up from the couch and reaches out to Mikey. Mikey grabs his hand and they go to find Frank in their bedroom. Gerard is honest enough with himself that he was wondering, wondering about how it would be with Frank. But this Frank is not his, so everything is different.
Frank kisses hard and desperate. Pours all his misery and anger and grief into the kiss, into Gerard. And it's okay, because Mikey is gentle. His fingers on Gerard's skin are careful and his lips soft. Gerard has one moment of sheer panic as he feels Mikey's erection against his side, but then it fades all away into moans and lips, soft skin, harsh breathing, fingers that will leave bruises.
~+~
“Five minutes until we slide,” Gerard says, Pete hands him a mug of coffee and Emilie a cinnamon role. He really isn't that hungry, but she looks stern.
“Hard night?” Pete asks, his voice carefully even. Gerard has no illusions about this situation, he knows they know, but he doesn't care. There are bruises on his skin that will fade soon like he will fade into nothingness in their memories.
“It was okay,” Gerard says.
“Eat,” Emilie throws in with a soft smile. Gerard knows that one, she has that one when she needs to leave something behind she really loves. Like that one small cottage they had a few dimensions earlier. She loved it, everything was so simple. He had loved it as well.
“Two minutes,” Pete says, grabbing Emilie's hand. It's really fucking early in the morning, not even the sun is up yet.
“Yeah...” Gerard answers, taking a last sip and grabbing Emilie's other hand.
And then they leave the vampire infested world behind.
~Interlude~
Come over
Six months and they are still not one step closer to getting Gerard and Pete back. On the plus side: Gabe is back from the desert. He is helping Patrick in the basement since he came back two days earlier.
Mikey takes some of the sandwiches Andy made and goes down, because none of them has eaten.
“I think we have it!” Gabe says and Mikey rushes down.
“You know how to bring him back?” he asks, putting the plate aside.
“Yes and no, we know that the doors have to be open on both sides, so they can find their way back home. We can guide them.” Patrick explains.
“Oh...but we can’t have it open 24/7, right?” Mikey asks.
Gabe shakes his head. “It would take too much energy. Also, we don't know what else might come through that door. So we have to guard it.”
“Right, I brought you sandwiches.”
“Andy made them?” Patrick asks, Mikey nods. “I wish he would use real cheese from time to time...” he says sighing, Mikey smiles.
“We don’t want to hurt his vegan sensibilities, now do we?” Gabe says.
“Yeah, still...real cheese.” Patrick answers wistful.
“Maybe I can find you some...be right back,” Gabe says, getting up. Mikey knows he just wants to smoke up with Joe and maybe grab a bottle of tequila.
“There is no chance in hell he will come back soon...” Patrick says after they hear the door shut. Mikey nods.
Over the last few months he and Patrick became real close, but he is still not sure. Not sure at all what it is between them.
“Hey...you don't need to spend all your days here,” Mikey says softly.
“I want to help you, I want to be here...” Patrick answers, putting his half eaten sandwich back onto the plate.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah...” Patrick says and then he leans over and their lips meet. Patrick tastes like butter and tomato and that horrible vegan spread that Andy claims taste like mayonnaise - it doesn't. His lips are soft, and his fingers are curling into Mikey's shirt to pull him closer and for a few minutes he forgets about Gerard not being home.
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