Chasing butterflies
Title: Chasing butterflies
Author:
alles_luege
Pairing: Gabe/William
Rating: PG -13
Summary: This is a story about William’s obsession with music, Midtown and Gabe Saporta.
Warning(s): angst, masturbation
Author’s Notes: So, I wrote Gabe/William fic…it’s really more about William…
Word Count: 686
Beta:
stronger_now_x
Disclaimer: Don’t know, don’t own, not real.
~1~
William is fifteen when he sees Midtown play for the first time. He isn’t even sure he wants to see them play, but life is funny sometimes and that’s why he goes anyway. And okay, they are pretty good, and loud, and generally everything a boy of fifteen needs to be screaming his lungs out in a dark shady club, pressed against other sweaty bodies.
So, all in all the night is on the plus side of life.
~+~
He doesn’t even know how it happens, but one day all his walls are covered in Midtown posters. It started with one. It always starts with one. Somehow over the months it spiralled out of control. His mom keeps saying it’s creepy. When he thinks about it, maybe it really is, but just a little bit. It’s not worse than the pop-singer’s posters on other boys’ walls.
It really isn’t.
~+~
Watching every single show they play in Chicago or the surrounding area might be a little bit much, and maybe some people would call him obsessed. He’s not. Listening 24/7 to the album…it’s still okay. It’s a good band. Nothing to worry about at all.
Masturbating with Gabe Saporta’s voice in his ear might be a reason to worry. But then again, he’s fifteen. It’s no big deal.
~2~
It’s not because of Midtown that he wants a band. He just wants to be a part of something. Wants to play music, because music is his first and only, and his true love. Will be, and because a girl once said it’s the only acceptable way for guys to write poetry and still be cool.
It’s not that he wants to be cool…well, okay, he does. Who doesn’t like to be accepted? But it’s not about girls, it’s about music, and maybe it’s about Midtown and Gabe Saporta.
~+~
He writes and he sings and he wants it to matter. And when he’s seventeen, he records The Last Place You Look. It’s good, but it’s not what he wants. It’s just a step…to get him where he wants to be.
~+~
He’s eighteen when he meets Mike - it’s not magic, but it’s something. It takes shape, whatever ‘IT’ might be.
Meanwhile, there is Gabe Saporta’s face above his bed. Sometimes he’s sure Gabe wants to tell him something, he just can’t hear it; for all the listening he does, he just can’t.
Maybe it’s because in the silent hours of the night, his own panting and the slick sound of his hand are too loud in his ears to hear anything else.
~+~
When Sisky says ‘yes’, William knows this is getting somewhere. He has a band now. He’s nineteen and he worked on this since he first heard Midtown play.
~3~
He thinks that everything goes to hell when Midtown breaks up. It’s not a fleeting feeling. He worked for this. To be able to stand at Gabe’s side. Well…musically. But this isn’t just about meeting Gabe one summer day on Warped Tour anymore, this is his band and he wants to make it. After all, even if Gabe was his first obsession, music is still his first love. Being able to write poetry and still be cool, being able to sing, to hang out with friends and being paid for it. Even if it isn’t always fun, even if he’s sometimes too tired to do more than just fall in his bunk and be done with the world for a few hours. It’s still what he wanted. It’s still good. And Gabe is still on his wall when he gets home.
~+~
And then Almost Here happens - well not ‘happens’ - and he is on a headlining tour with Plain White T’s. Kids are screaming his songs and he knows that his poster is pined above some beds.
It’s everything.
But when he gets home, sinks down on his bed and gazes at Gabe’s face, he knows it’s not enough.
~+~
Maybe, he thinks, he has to reconsider his relationships. Maybe music is his passion, his obsession, and Gabe his first love?
~End~