Words and the silence between
Title: Words and the silence between
Author:
alles_luege
Pairing: Pete/Patrick, Patrick/William
Rating: PG -13
Summary: Pete is frustrated with Patrick, Patrick doesn’t know what to do about the whole mess and William realises maybe too late what he’s doing.
Warning(s): angst
Author’s Notes: This follows “Shiny things outside the picture frame”. It would be wise to read it first. This fic, because the world needs more Patrick/William!
Word Count: 1.535
Beta: tygermine (Seriously. An amazing woman.)
Disclaimer: Don’t know, don’t own, not real.
~1~
A girl once said to him, screaming lyrics into a mic is the only way of communication he would knew. He didn’t believe her, because he talks. A lot. Loud and often, gesturing with hands and smiling. And yeah, it’s true he used to scream words into mics, but not because he wanted to communicate, he just wanted to be noticed.
~+~
2003. And Pete is still screaming and maybe now because he actually has something to say.
This time he isn’t screaming into a microphone. Now he’s screaming at Patrick. Demanding answers and trying to keep himself from pleading.
“It’s not what you think,” says Patrick quietly.
“Well, what do I think, Patrick? What do I think?” Pete is pacing the room again, it’s safer that way, for both of them. He knows himself too well to ignore the fact that he could hit Patrick right now, because he wants to. Badly.
“That I…” Patrick begins but is quiet when Pete turns abruptly and glares at him. His eyes two diamonds - sharp and hard. Pete is beyond pissed, Patrick can see this, but is hit by the unfairness of it all. Pete doesn’t have a right to be angry with him. He doesn’t belong to the bass player.“You think I fuck him!” he spits out angry at Pete’s assumption.
“You don’t?” Pete wants to know. His voice is suddenly quiet, but that doesn’t mean anything. He does it for dramatic effect. Just like everything else he does.
“It’s none of your business to begin with.” Patrick says. It really isn’t he thinks, because they aren’t together. Pete obviously can’t comprehend the concept of ownership properly in his prescription addled mind.
“Fuck you!” Pete hisses.
Patrick bites his tongue, trying to subdue the temper he feels growing in his gut. He knows, if he doesn’t he will start to throw things. It just needs one wrong word from him and one wrong answer from Pete.
~+~
“He didn’t kiss you, he didn’t even touch you during the whole set,” William says, he sounds caught between amused and disappointed. He holds Patrick’s wrist in his hand, his fingers gripping a little too hard. Maybe there will be bruises in the morning Patrick thinks. There always seem to be bruises.
“So why are you here?” Patrick answers. He isn’t sure he wants William to go though.
“I wanted to see you?” Patrick smiles at William’s uncertainty. “Why didn’t he touch you, Patrick?” William asks coyly.
Patrick shrugs at the question, not sure he has an answer.
“My fault then?” William whispers.
“No…” Patrick says, because it isn’t. It’s his.
“He needs to kiss you again. He needs to keep kissing you.”
“I know,” Patrick answers, because he does.
~2~
2004. William is nineteen, has a band, he is recording an album and he meets Pete. He knew he would meet Pete some day. It was inevitable.
He knows Pete recognises him the instant he lays eyes on him. William isn’t nervous. He thinks maybe he should be.
~+~
“I met that kid today,” Pete says not catching Patrick’s eyes, concentrating instead on his sidekick.
“What kid?” Patrick isn’t really paying attention, there is this tune in his ear the whole day he needs to pin down. Before it drives him insane.
“The pretty one.”
“Hmmm?” Patrick says, because, honestly, does Pete meet any other kind?
“Your pretty kid. William,” Pete says. Patrick looks up from his laptop.
“Oh?”
“He is recording an album with his little band.” Pete answers spite dripping from his words. He still doesn’t know what it is with this kid and Patrick. It’s been years now and Patrick still refuses to tell him anything. “Are they any good?” Pete asks.
Patrick shrugs. “Yeah, I guess. Why?”
“I want to sign them.” Pete offers, verbally poking for a reaction. He ends up disappointed.
“Good for them. William’s got a good voice.” Patrick comments, attention back on his laptop.
“Yeah.” Pete finally looks away from his screen trying to catch Patrick’s eye. “Patrick?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you fuck that kid?” he asks again, not happy with the answer Patrick gave him all those months ago.
“Pete…” Patrick sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Just answer the question.”
“Does it really matter?” Patrick wants to know. He’s getting annoyed.
“It does.” Pete moves towards Patrick, crowding him on the couch. “It does Patrick, because…”
”Because?” Patrick tries to move away from Pete’s intense scrutiny, tries to avoid looking him in the eye. “Pete, my sex life is really none of your business.”
“You know I would tell you!” Pete begins to whine.
“That’s because you have no personal boundaries.” Patrick retorts, feeling the arm of the couch trapping him, while cutting into his back.
“So, you do fuck him?” Pete presses on.
“I didn’t say that!” Patrick answers.
“It’s okay, if you do.” Pete whispers, his breath teasing Patrick’s neck, sending goose bumps down his arms. Patrick begins to feel a little dizzy. Must be the claustrophobia kicking in, he muses to himself.
“I don’t need you to tell me that!” Patrick snaps trying to push Pete away.
Pete heaves himself off the couch and within a second is at the door. “Obviously.” He spits at Patrick before storming out the room. He doesn’t bang the door, his dramatic effect forgotten for once.
~+~
“You’re fighting again,” William says that night.
“Why are you still here? He knows you now. He told me,” Patrick says irritated.
“Patrick, he doesn’t want me.” William says softly. The ‘like he wants you’ goes unsaid. He’s sitting on the floor, back against the wall, staring into the crowd. Patrick does the same. They’re not even touching. “You need to make up with him.”
“I can’t,” Patrick says softly.
“Of course you can. He’ll forgive you everything.”
“I haven’t done anything that needs forgiving. He’s being an ass.” Patrick scoffs, wondering how he gets himself into these kind of situations.
“You’re the ass.” William smiles at him. “You don’t see how much he wants you.”
“You could make him want you.” Patrick says after a while.
“It’ll have to be joint custody. I wouldn’t be able to keep him…” he answers and then stops, Patrick’s words sinking in. He turns his head and looks at Patrick. “You mean, like I made you want me.”
It’s a little bit of a shock and William can’t even say why. The absolute absurdity of their situation suddenly hits him.
Patrick doesn’t answer, concentrates instead on playing with the frayed hem of his jeans. - “This is so fucked up, Patrick.”
“I said that years ago.”
“I know,” William answers quietly and maybe it’s the first time he really does.
~+~
2005. William doesn’t have much time to see Fall Out Boy play anymore. His band is on tour with Plain White T’s. He meets people, he sings, he doesn’t call Patrick. Not once. He sees Patrick at the set of the Sixteen Candles video shoot. He sings for Pete on their album. He doesn’t touch Patrick. And for what it’s worth, he doesn’t touch Pete either. William is especially proud of his self restraint in that aspect.
~+~
“He wants me. I know he does,” Pete says after the video shoot leaning against a wall as vampire extras wonder past. He lisps slightly, having not taken the fangs out yet. He’s seriously considering keeping them.
“Who?” Patrick asks, from his beach chair, pulling out the earphones of his iPod. So much for a little Jeff Buckley marathon.
“William.”
“Of course he does.” Patrick rolls his eyes.
“Why isn’t he making a move? What is he waiting for?” Pete wants to know, strangely perturbed by Williams immunity to the ‘Wentz Sex Charm’.
“He will never let you fuck him,” Patrick answers. It’s a bit cruel to say it like that, but it’s the truth. Patrick knows that William never will let Pete touch him like that. Never.
“Why? Because you had him?”
“I never said that.”
“Why Patrick?” he demands, before getting interrupted by his ringing cellphone. He turns away from Patrick, walking towards the van. Patrick sighs.
“Because he is a better person than I am.”
~+~
And then Pete goes for dramatic overkill - a bottle of Ativan in a parking lot. William doesn’t know who tells him, he knows it’s not Patrick.
“You should have told me,” he says after Patrick picks up.
“You think you’re my priority right now, William?” Patrick asks. It stings. It shouldn’t.
“No, of course not.”
“I didn’t…” Patrick begins, he sounds tired and a million miles away. He is a million miles away.
“Okay, I know. I understand. You can’t be here.”
“Yes, but you’re there.”
“He doesn’t want me,” William says. He’s so frustrated, Patrick should be here, not in England. What the hell is he still doing in England?
“He doesn’t know what he wants! That’s his fucking problem,” Patrick is angry and William just can’t be. Not at Pete.
“It will be okay.”
“I know,” Patrick answers. William isn’t sure Patrick believes it. William isn’t sure he believes it himself.
“Of course you do,” William says softly before he disconnects the call.
~End~