Lonely World Chapter 1
Title: Lonely World
Pairing: HyukHae
Minor Pairings:
Chapter: 1
Rating: PG
Genre: au, romance, drama, angst
Disclaimer: Hyukjae owns Donghae, Donghae owns Hyukjae
Warnings: Language, slight violence
Summary: Hyukjae feels that there's something missing in his life. He travels the world to find something that has always been there.
5:58 A.M. Hyukjae opens his eyes. Another day. He stares at the ceiling, waiting for the alarm to ring.
6:00 A.M. The alarm rings exactly three times before Hyukjae reaches over to shut it off. He slides out of bed and walks to the bathroom. He takes a shower with the hot water knob turned about forty-five degrees more than the cold knob.
6:10 A.M. Hyukjae steps out of the steaming bathroom and returns to the bedroom. As expected, the bed has already been neatly made. He goes to his closet and opens the door, revealing a row of identical black suits. Hyukjae picks his Monday suit and gets dressed, mechanically doing his tie.
6:15 A.M. Hyukjae leaves the room and goes to the kitchen. His usual morning toast and black coffee sit on the table. He ignores the sound of dishes being washed and flips open the daily newspaper.
6:18 A.M. Donghae sits down in the chair across from Hyukjae, sleeves still rolled up from his housework.
“Good morning,” says Donghae.
“Good morning,” says Hyukjae.
“How did you sleep?” asks Donghae.
“Fine,” replies Hyukjae, not looking up from the news.
6:30 A.M. Hyukjae finishes his breakfast and Donghae clears the table. Hyukjae pulls on his shoes and picks up his briefcase.
6:33 A.M. Hyukjae pauses by the door as Donghae grabs his coat and shoes.
6:35 A.M. Hyukjae leaves the apartment first, followed by Donghae. Hyukjae waits as Donghae locks the door.
6:36 A.M. The two take the elevator down and walk outside. They go to the nearest subway station, steps perfectly in sync.
6:44 A.M. They reach their stop and wait for the subway.
6:45 A.M. The subway arrives. They board. Hyukjae and Donghae go to the third car. They each hold onto poles on opposite sides of the door. The subway departs.
6:55 A.M. The subway stops. Hyukjae and Donghae get out.
6:56 A.M. “See you later,” Donghae says, leaning slightly forward.
“Have a nice day,” says Hyukjae, also leaning slightly forward to give an obligatory kiss.
Hyukjae and Donghae walk in opposite directions to work. Hyukjae doesn’t bother watching Donghae walk away.
7:00 A.M. After walking for exactly four minutes, Hyukjae steps into an office building.
7:02 A.M. “Good morning, sir,” says his secretary as he enters his office.
“Good morning,” says Hyukjae.
“You have five calls on the line. Also, this stack of paperwork needs to be…”
Work.
6:00 P.M. Hyukjae returns to the apartment. Dinner and Donghae greet him.
“How was your day?” asks Donghae.
“Fine,” says Hyukjae.
There is silence for the rest of the meal.
6:10 P.M. Hyukjae waits for Donghae to start.
As though on cue, Donghae sighs. “Hyukjae, do you think we should-”
“Not today. I’m tired,” says Hyukjae, like an actor repeating his lines.
Donghae bites his lip, but lets it go as usual. “Alright.”
8:55 P.M. Hyukjae takes off his suit and climbs into bed.
9:00 P.M. Donghae comes into the bedroom and looks at Hyukjae. After some hesitation (5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Hyukjae counts mentally), Donghae slides into bed too. Despite having another body under the covers, Hyukjae isn’t close enough to Donghae to feel any warmer. He doesn’t move from his position.
9:05 P.M. Hyukjae rolls over on his side, back to Donghae. He goes to sleep. Another day over. Another day tomorrow.
-
5:58 A.M. Hyukjae opens his eyes. Another day (why does he no longer look forward to a new day?). He stares at the ceiling, waiting for the alarm to ring.
6:00 A.M. The alarm rings exactly three times before Hyukjae reaches over to shut it off. He slides out of bed and walks to the bathroom. He takes a shower with the hot water knob turned about forty-five degrees more than the cold knob.
6:10 A.M. Hyukjae steps out of the steaming bathroom and returns to the bedroom. As expected, the bed has already been neatly made. He goes to his closet and opens the door, revealing a row of identical black suits (what happened to the sense of fashion that he used to be so proud of?). Hyukjae picks his Tuesday suit and gets dressed, mechanically doing his tie.
6:15 A.M. Hyukjae leaves the room and goes to the kitchen. His usual morning toast and black coffee sit on the table. He ignores the sound of dishes being washed and flips open the daily newspaper (why did all the news look the same to him now?).
6:18 A.M. Donghae sits down in the chair across from Hyukjae, sleeves still rolled up from his housework.
“Good morning,” says Donghae.
“Good morning,” says Hyukjae.
“How did you sleep?” asks Donghae.
“Fine,” replies Hyukjae, not looking up from the news (was it really fine?).
6:30 A.M. Hyukjae finishes his breakfast and Donghae clears the table. Hyukjae pulls on his shoes and picks up his briefcase.
6:33 A.M. Hyukjae pauses by the door as Donghae grabs his coat and shoes.
6:35 A.M. Hyukjae leaves the apartment first, followed by Donghae. Hyukjae waits as Donghae locks the door.
6:36 A.M. The two take the elevator down and walk outside. They go to the nearest subway station, steps perfectly in sync (why did their perfect sync seem so mechanical?).
6:44 A.M. They reach their stop and wait for the subway.
6:45 A.M. The subway arrives. They board. Hyukjae and Donghae go to the third car. They each hold onto poles on opposite sides of the door (why was Donghae so far away now?). The subway departs.
6:55 A.M. The subway stops. Hyukjae and Donghae get out.
6:56 A.M. “See you later,” Donghae says, leaning slightly forward.
“Have a nice day,” says Hyukjae, also leaning slightly forward to give an obligatory kiss (he couldn’t remember the last time they had a kiss with any emotion).
Hyukjae and Donghae walk in opposite directions to work. Hyukjae doesn’t bother watching Donghae walk away (but he used to watch until the other was nothing but a speck).
7:00 A.M. After walking for exactly four minutes, Hyukjae steps into an office building.
7:02 A.M. “Good morning, sir,” says his secretary as he enters his office.
“Good morning,” says Hyukjae.
“You have five calls on the line. Also, this stack of paperwork needs to be…”
Work (what did he do all of this for?).
6:00 P.M. Hyukjae returns to the apartment. Dinner and Donghae greet him.
“How was your day?” asks Donghae.
“Fine,” says Hyukjae (but…).
There is silence for the rest of the meal (they used to never run out of things to talk about).
6:10 P.M. Hyukjae waits for Donghae to start.
As though on cue, Donghae sighs. “Hyukjae, do you think we should-”
“Not today. I’m tired,” says Hyukjae, like an actor repeating his lines (and he was tired).
Donghae bites his lip, but lets it go as usual.
“No.”
Hyukjae drops his fork with a loud clatter and stares at Donghae. The sound seems much louder as a shocked silence descends upon the two.
“W-what did you say?” asks Hyukjae, slightly nervous. This is not the usual response.
Donghae stands up. “I said no.”
Hyukjae watches as Donghae runs a hand through his brown hair and paces back and forth.
“I don’t want this!” exclaims Donghae suddenly, making Hyukjae jump. “This life is…This isn’t the way life is supposed to be!”
Hyukjae feels his long suppressed anger rising. “Then how is it supposed to be?” he asks scathingly, grip tightening on the edge of the table. “Life isn’t all fun and games, you know.”
“I know it’s not. It’s just that this isn’t what I expected,” says Donghae, frustration clear in his eyes. “This isn’t the life I wanted!”
Hyukjae stands up so fast that he knocks his chair over, anger past the boiling point. “And you think this is the life I wanted?!”
“I didn’t say that!” protests Donghae, eyes flashing.
This only fuels Hyukjae’s temper. “God, you’re so childish and self-centered sometimes! Did you think I was happy like this? Doing the same thing everyday, over and over and over, to the point that I can tell the time without looking at a clock? No! I’m not happy!”
“You never said anything to me!” shouts Donghae.
“It wasn’t obvious?” asks Hyukjae, voice laced with unfamiliar sarcasm.
“I tried talking about it, but every time you would be tired!”
Hyukjae laughs mirthlessly. “Oh, so now this is my fault?”
“I didn’t say that!” repeats Donghae angrily. “I’m just saying that-”
Hyukjae kicks over the dinner table viciously, glassware breaking upon contact with the ground. Donghae stares at Hyukjae, brown eyes wide. “Hyukjae?”
“Don’t give me that look!” snarls Hyukjae. “I hate it when you look at me like that.”
Donghae does not reply, continuing to give Hyukjae a wide-eyed look.
“I said stop it!” Hyukjae grabs a plate that miraculously survived the fall and throws it at Donghae’s feet. Donghae gasps as he steps backwards not a moment too soon.
“I’m sick! And tired! Of all this shit!” Hyukjae punctuates each sentence by throwing other objects at Donghae, who barely dodges them all. “I’m tired of this life, I’m tired of this apartment, I’m tired of my job, and I’m tired of you!”
“Hyukjae, calm down!” shouts Donghae frantically, trying to move closer.
“I’m so sick of you! I wish I’d never met you! I never even loved you!”
Donghae grabs Hyukjae’s face. “Hyukjae, calm down!”
Caught in his rage, Hyukjae lashes out, body reacting before brain. He feels a surge of satisfaction as his fist connects with the side of Donghae’s mouth.
Donghae’s head snaps to the side from the force of the blow. Stunned, he looks at Hyukjae, eyes filling up with tears. Even with Donghae’s hand clutching at his mouth, Hyukjae could see some blood trickling down. Then, he realizes what he has done.
“Oh god, Donghae,” breathes Hyukjae, stepping towards the other male.
Donghae recoils, his eyes clouded with an emotion that he has never shown before when looking at Hyukjae: fear. Hyukjae feels his stomach clench unpleasantly.
“Donghae,” he tries again.
Donghae steps back and whirls around, running out of the apartment.
Torn between the desire to chase after Donghae and his overwhelming guilt, Hyukjae sinks down to his knees. What has he done?
-
5:58 A.M. Hyukjae opens his eyes. Another day. He stares at the ceiling, waiting for the alarm to ring.
6:00 A.M. The alarm rings exactly three times before Hyukjae reaches over to shut it off. He slides out of bed and walks to the bathroom. He takes a shower with the hot water knob turned about forty-five degrees more than the cold knob.
6:10 A.M. Hyukjae steps out of the steaming bathroom and returns to the bedroom. The bed is not neatly made when he gets back, so he straightens it himself. He can’t get it quite as neat as it was the previous mornings. He goes to his closet and opens the door, revealing a row of identical black suits. Hyukjae picks his Wednesday suit and gets dressed, mechanically doing his tie.
6:15 A.M. Hyukjae leaves the room and goes to the kitchen. Breakfast is not on the table. He prepares himself a quick toast and coffee. He ignores how the toast is too dry, how the coffee is too bitter, how there are no sounds of dishes being washed. He flips open the daily newspaper.
6:18 A.M. No one sits down in the chair across from Hyukjae. Hyukjae does not look up from the news, nevertheless.
6:30 A.M. Hyukjae finishes his breakfast and clears the table. He pulls on his shoes and picks up his briefcase.
6:33 A.M. Hyukjae pauses by the door for Donghae to grab his coat and shoes. Then, he realizes he doesn’t need to.
6:35 A.M. Hyukjae leaves the apartment. He almost forgets to lock the door.
6:36 A.M. Hyukjae takes the elevator down and walks outside. He goes to the nearest subway station, feeling slightly exposed without someone next to him.
6:44 A.M. He reaches his stop and waits for the subway.
6:45 A.M. The subway arrives. He boards. He goes to the third car. He holds onto his usual pole, not sparing a glance at the one opposite it. The subway departs.
6:55 A.M. The subway stops. He gets out.
6:56 A.M. “Have a nice day,” says Hyukjae without thinking. He catches himself before he leans forward for a kiss that wouldn’t come. Shaking his head slightly, he resumes his commute to work.
7:00 A.M. After walking for exactly four minutes, Hyukjae steps into an office building.
7:02 A.M. “Good morning, sir,” says his secretary as he enters his office.
“Good morning,” says Hyukjae.
“You have five calls on the line. Also, this stack of paperwork needs to be…”
Work.
“Oh, and someone left this for you.”
Hyukjae blinks and stares at the envelope his secretary was offering him. “Thank you,” he says automatically as he takes it. As he walks into his office, he looks at the envelope. It is a plain white envelope, marred only by his name scrawled in a corner in pink ink. Hyukjae wrinkles his nose. Must be from a girl.
He carelessly rips open the envelope and is surprised when an ordinary piece of lined notebook paper falls out. Even more surprising is the plane ticket accompanying it. Opening the paper gingerly, he quickly reads through its contents.
His eyebrows furrows as he rereads the letter to make sure he got it right. An all-expense paid trip to Japan? Provided with a guide and translator? Flight tomorrow? Hyukjae snorts. This could only be a scam.
But as he is about to drop it into his paper shredder, he has an epiphany. He stares at the papers. This ticket could be the escape from his mundane life.
A/N: I was debating whether or not to make this one a series. The story turned out a lot longer than I expected, so here's the first chapter of my first series! Comments are loved, but I won't be able to reply right away. Oh woe, a life without internet!