Team Schmoop - Tree, Part 1
Title: Oh, Eppesmas Tree!
Chapter 1
Author: Jelsemium
Pairing/Characters: Charlie Eppes/Amita Eppes-Ramanujan, Don Eppes/Robin Brooks, Alan Eppes.
Rating/Category: K+/Het
Word Count: 999
Spoilers: None, really.
Summary: Amita is bewildered by Christmas trees.
Notes/Warnings: Set in a time when Charlie and Amita are married. Their first Christmas as husband and wife, in fact.
Picking out a Christmas tree apparently involved arguing... and yelling, lots of yelling. And the waving of arms. But mostly it involved picking apart every flaw the debater could pick up on his radar. (Whether the flaw belonged to the tree or the other debater was unimportant.)
"That one's too tall," Charlie complained.
"There's nothing wrong with the tree, Chuck, you're just too short," Don returned.
"Are you still five years old or what?" Alan demanded of them.
"I can't be five," Don replied. "If I were, then we wouldn't have the pleasure… dubious pleasure, I mean, of Chuckie's presense."
In other words, Christmas tree shopping, sorry, hunting, was just another typical gathering of the Eppes family.
Back when Amita was merely Charlie's Girlfriend, she could avoid these awkward events by pleading prior commitments. However, now that she was Mrs. Charles Eppes, she would have to come up with something more substantial to get out of family gatherings, such as a broken leg.
Amita wondered how many years she could break her leg before somebody got suspicious. She sighed and, with great effort, avoided looking at her watch. Instead, she studied the people that she was with, finding them more interesting to look at than the Christmas trees, that were all beginning to look the same to her.
All of them, Eppes and Eppes-to-Be, Robin Brooks, were wearing jeans. Charlie and Don were not wearing anything that could be described as "Christmassy". Don came closer because he had a red shirt on. Charlie was wearing an ugly grey shirt that Amita had been trying to destroy for the past year or so.
Alan, on the other hand, had on a Hawaiian shirt covered with poinsettas instead of hibiscus and a Santa hat.
Robin was the most decorated. She was wearing a white turtleneck with Christmas trees, stockings, wrapped presents and candy canes on it. She even had on a necklace that looked like a string of Christmas lights and earrings to match.
Amita herself was making a concession to the season by wearing a blue turtleneck covered with log cabins and pine trees, which could pass for Christmas trees.
"How about this one?" Robin Brooks', no stranger to heated arguments, sounded amused. "It's a six foot Scotch Pine."
There was a pause in the Eppes arguments.
"The trouble with that tree," Don said in polite and cautious tones, "is that most of the height seems to be a skinny branch sticking out at an obtuse angle from the trunk."
"Oh," Robin didn't seem surprised that her choice had been rejected. Amita suspected she had nominated it just to break up the argument.
"I'm impressed," Charlie said.
"Why? Because I used the word 'obtuse' correctly in this context?"
"Because you went from bellowing to groveling in less time that it takes a tachyon to cross a nanometer," Charlie mocked. "You're not even married yet and she's got you housebroken."
"Behave yourself, Professor, I have backup," Robin warned. She nodded towards Amita.
Amita felt alarmed, she didn't want to get involved in this. However, everybody was now looking at her, so she felt compelled to say something. "I don't understand why we are picking out a Christmas tree for a Jewish/Hindu household?" she blurted out.
She felt her face heat up and she was probably the same shade of red as Alan's Santa hat.
Robin laughed. "That's an interesting question," she said.
The Eppes men grinned and Amita sighed with relief that she hadn't overstepped herself.
"We aren't the first Eppes with a mixed marriage," Charlie said. He walked over to Amita and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.
"Mom loved Christmas," Don said.
"Their mother insisted on having a tree," Alan explained, indicating his sons.
"Oh," Amita said. "I understand." She could, too. Family traditions were important to her family, even if she had broken most of them.
"I wish I could have a tree," Robin sighed.
Alan raised an eyebrow at her.
Don shrugged and answered for her. "We're not at home enough to properly care for a live tree," he said. "It would probably wind up a fire hazard."
"It would be very embarrassing for us to have our home burn down," Robin added.
"Tell me you aren't using an artificial tree," Alan said.
"Not exactly," Robin said.
Alan raised his eyebrow again, only this time at Don.
Don just grinned. "We're using a ceramic tree that Robin's aunt made," he said.
"It's really cute," Robin told Amita. "It's not green, it's more of a cream color, with gilt edging, with embedded crystals and a lightbulb inside. It looks like a lit and decorated Christmas tree.
"Sounds lovely," Alan admitted. "Much better than those disgusting plastic trees."
Amita's bewilderment must have showed on her face, because all of them were looking at her.
Charlie walked over and draped his arm around her. "If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask," he said. "You know what we always say in class."
Amita nodded. "The only stupid question is the one you don't ask."
"What's on your mind?" Don asked.
"I don't want to be rude," Amita said. She hesitated.
"We won't be too offended," Alan joked.
"I guess I just don't get the point of having a Christmas tree," Amita admitted.
Alan nodded. "I didn't get it at first, either," he said. "But maybe you'll understand better when we decorate the tree," he said. "You don't have to help if you don't want to," he added hastily.
Charlie looked worried, so Amita hastily assured them that of course she wanted to help decorate. "Just remember, that I've never done this before," she added.
"Don't worry," Don assured her. "We'll show you how it's done." He grinned. "Well, we'll show you the Eppes style of doing it."
"Let me guess," Amita said. "The Eppes style involves a lot of shouting."
Charlie laughed. "I always knew you were a quick study," he said proudly.
Part Two
Chapter 1
Author: Jelsemium
Pairing/Characters: Charlie Eppes/Amita Eppes-Ramanujan, Don Eppes/Robin Brooks, Alan Eppes.
Rating/Category: K+/Het
Word Count: 999
Spoilers: None, really.
Summary: Amita is bewildered by Christmas trees.
Notes/Warnings: Set in a time when Charlie and Amita are married. Their first Christmas as husband and wife, in fact.
Picking out a Christmas tree apparently involved arguing... and yelling, lots of yelling. And the waving of arms. But mostly it involved picking apart every flaw the debater could pick up on his radar. (Whether the flaw belonged to the tree or the other debater was unimportant.)
"That one's too tall," Charlie complained.
"There's nothing wrong with the tree, Chuck, you're just too short," Don returned.
"Are you still five years old or what?" Alan demanded of them.
"I can't be five," Don replied. "If I were, then we wouldn't have the pleasure… dubious pleasure, I mean, of Chuckie's presense."
In other words, Christmas tree shopping, sorry, hunting, was just another typical gathering of the Eppes family.
Back when Amita was merely Charlie's Girlfriend, she could avoid these awkward events by pleading prior commitments. However, now that she was Mrs. Charles Eppes, she would have to come up with something more substantial to get out of family gatherings, such as a broken leg.
Amita wondered how many years she could break her leg before somebody got suspicious. She sighed and, with great effort, avoided looking at her watch. Instead, she studied the people that she was with, finding them more interesting to look at than the Christmas trees, that were all beginning to look the same to her.
All of them, Eppes and Eppes-to-Be, Robin Brooks, were wearing jeans. Charlie and Don were not wearing anything that could be described as "Christmassy". Don came closer because he had a red shirt on. Charlie was wearing an ugly grey shirt that Amita had been trying to destroy for the past year or so.
Alan, on the other hand, had on a Hawaiian shirt covered with poinsettas instead of hibiscus and a Santa hat.
Robin was the most decorated. She was wearing a white turtleneck with Christmas trees, stockings, wrapped presents and candy canes on it. She even had on a necklace that looked like a string of Christmas lights and earrings to match.
Amita herself was making a concession to the season by wearing a blue turtleneck covered with log cabins and pine trees, which could pass for Christmas trees.
"How about this one?" Robin Brooks', no stranger to heated arguments, sounded amused. "It's a six foot Scotch Pine."
There was a pause in the Eppes arguments.
"The trouble with that tree," Don said in polite and cautious tones, "is that most of the height seems to be a skinny branch sticking out at an obtuse angle from the trunk."
"Oh," Robin didn't seem surprised that her choice had been rejected. Amita suspected she had nominated it just to break up the argument.
"I'm impressed," Charlie said.
"Why? Because I used the word 'obtuse' correctly in this context?"
"Because you went from bellowing to groveling in less time that it takes a tachyon to cross a nanometer," Charlie mocked. "You're not even married yet and she's got you housebroken."
"Behave yourself, Professor, I have backup," Robin warned. She nodded towards Amita.
Amita felt alarmed, she didn't want to get involved in this. However, everybody was now looking at her, so she felt compelled to say something. "I don't understand why we are picking out a Christmas tree for a Jewish/Hindu household?" she blurted out.
She felt her face heat up and she was probably the same shade of red as Alan's Santa hat.
Robin laughed. "That's an interesting question," she said.
The Eppes men grinned and Amita sighed with relief that she hadn't overstepped herself.
"We aren't the first Eppes with a mixed marriage," Charlie said. He walked over to Amita and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.
"Mom loved Christmas," Don said.
"Their mother insisted on having a tree," Alan explained, indicating his sons.
"Oh," Amita said. "I understand." She could, too. Family traditions were important to her family, even if she had broken most of them.
"I wish I could have a tree," Robin sighed.
Alan raised an eyebrow at her.
Don shrugged and answered for her. "We're not at home enough to properly care for a live tree," he said. "It would probably wind up a fire hazard."
"It would be very embarrassing for us to have our home burn down," Robin added.
"Tell me you aren't using an artificial tree," Alan said.
"Not exactly," Robin said.
Alan raised his eyebrow again, only this time at Don.
Don just grinned. "We're using a ceramic tree that Robin's aunt made," he said.
"It's really cute," Robin told Amita. "It's not green, it's more of a cream color, with gilt edging, with embedded crystals and a lightbulb inside. It looks like a lit and decorated Christmas tree.
"Sounds lovely," Alan admitted. "Much better than those disgusting plastic trees."
Amita's bewilderment must have showed on her face, because all of them were looking at her.
Charlie walked over and draped his arm around her. "If you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask," he said. "You know what we always say in class."
Amita nodded. "The only stupid question is the one you don't ask."
"What's on your mind?" Don asked.
"I don't want to be rude," Amita said. She hesitated.
"We won't be too offended," Alan joked.
"I guess I just don't get the point of having a Christmas tree," Amita admitted.
Alan nodded. "I didn't get it at first, either," he said. "But maybe you'll understand better when we decorate the tree," he said. "You don't have to help if you don't want to," he added hastily.
Charlie looked worried, so Amita hastily assured them that of course she wanted to help decorate. "Just remember, that I've never done this before," she added.
"Don't worry," Don assured her. "We'll show you how it's done." He grinned. "Well, we'll show you the Eppes style of doing it."
"Let me guess," Amita said. "The Eppes style involves a lot of shouting."
Charlie laughed. "I always knew you were a quick study," he said proudly.
Part Two