The rhyme scheme is that of a ghazal, at least my second attempt at it. It is rather in your face--I normally try to hide my rhyming with various techniques, but a ghazal's rhyme scheme is difficult to tame. So I practice.
I've a revision that might be a tad better? Let me know what you think.
(Now that I've looked it up, it appears I've failed again at the form--it requires at least five couplets, where this only has four. Also, apparently, enjambing meaning is a no-no. Back to the drawing board, I suppose.)
That would account for the odd sense of the poem having two skeletons--- one is the form, the other its meaning. I am sad to lose the cross-stitch idiom in the revision, as it was quite wonderful, but it sits properly upon itself now.
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The rhyme scheme is that of a ghazal, at least my second attempt at it. It is rather in your face--I normally try to hide my rhyming with various techniques, but a ghazal's rhyme scheme is difficult to tame. So I practice.
I've a revision that might be a tad better? Let me know what you think.
(Now that I've looked it up, it appears I've failed again at the form--it requires at least five couplets, where this only has four. Also, apparently, enjambing meaning is a no-no. Back to the drawing board, I suppose.)
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