**wipes away tears of mirth, has no desire to watch**
That was probably infinitely more entertaining than the actual movie, which I'm certain would only annoy me. And, I'm sure, about 10,000 times more intelligent. I actually learned things while reading this! And did NOT lose brain cells!
Actually, if you're one of the many lasses I remember over the last year, in person and online, who expressed a desire to do Keira Knightley bodily harm--I don't know why, exactly, so many have it in for her, but I remember that they do--then this is the movie for you! She gets rather savaged in the battle scenes....
Other than that, thanks for the compliments! I'm glad someone found this useful/entertaining. As I couldn't stop jotting down notes during the movie, I rather suspected that I would simply annoy the hell out of anyone who actually read it!
Actually, if you're one of the many lasses I remember over the last year, in person and online, who expressed a desire to do Keira Knightley bodily harm--I don't know why, exactly, so many have it in for her, but I remember that they do--then this is the movie for you! She gets rather savaged in the battle scenes....
REALLY? Neat. :D You remember correctly.
However, that doesn't seem like a very moral reason to watch a movie. Hmm.
Well then, Jenny, it is perhaps, when you really scratch at it, one of the least immoral reasons I've ever heard given for watching a movie; so when you're looking for an immoral movie-watching experience, steer yourself in that direction so as to do you the least harm possible.
***The best Arthurian movie is still clearly John Boorman's adaptation of Le Motre d'Arthur in Excalibur***
Thank you. When Californians overrun the midwest, I will see that you are spared.
That was an excellent review, BTW. Those are important points! I don't care how good the acting or cinematography is if I have to spend the whole movie sulking because the studio won't even pay lip service to historical accuracy.
Boorman's approach is correct: Do historical detail right or don't do it at all. A worse crime than the liberties that Boorman took is to use some made-up historical "babble" to give the movie a historical "feel". It's never accurate and it drives me insane to pay $9 a pop to be lied to.
I bow in your general direction, and thank you for the promise to spare my life, although I'll push for a Burmese Tiger Trap-type pit to be dug and disguised on the western side of the building, just in case California should make such a move.
You make a particular point about the "made-up historical 'babble'" that I hadn't quite thought of: since most of these details are given in dialogue (in other words, at no investment cost in sets, costumes, etc.), it does seem particularly offensive that when historical accuracy is to be had with the most minimal of research, we have to sit instead through someone's programme of propaganda or social manipulation.
I had the same feelings in watching Troy the other week. Not that the ancient world was without its own kinds of sceptics, but to have the gods edited out of the drama and to have Achilles spouting Enlightenment anti-religious-establishment drivel was such a waste of an opportunity. The drama is all about the gods: without them and their interaction with the Greeks and the
( ... )
Great review. I'll admit, I liked the movie the first (and only) time I watched it. But now, I hate it. Only, because, as you mentioned, "Excalibur" is just so damn f'n awesome.
Again, a compliment! I had no expectation of that--again, I thought that this would just piss people off! Too funny. Yes, I did catch Kingdom. Despite having some of the same Hollywood anti-religious standbys, I did at least enjoy the fact that the Middle Ages were portrayed as a real culture, with its greatness and depth, despite being populated by too many Evil Bishops, Evil Priests, and now Evil Knights Templar. You did also get some people of some religious integrity on both the Christian and the Muslim sides, too, so that was something of a relief. The love affair with trebuchets continues with gusto. In fact, a number of the things I've written above can be transfered over, with only name changes needed to make them work. I'd catch it on the big screen if I were you: the filmmaking is worth taking in. Just don't walk away with a resolution to murder your parish priest as the start of your path to spiritual fulfillment, I beg you.
No worries. Typical Hollywood. Why does every movie have to have a bad guy? Remember "Rudy"? Apparently, coach Dan Devine was not so adverse to letting Rudy play in blowouts during Rudy's senior year. But you know, for the movie's sake, he had to be all evil. Always take the "historical fiction Hollywood" with a massive chunk of salt. Give me pure fantasy any day, though I still find myself drawn to the period pieces.
I remember the Devine bit. But you gotta go with the formula. Just like the music business nowadays. I imagine that the best movies we see from the studios as far as sheer "creativity" goes, are the ones where the director was only able to sneak the creative part in on the edges, where it could get past the corporate board of censors at the studio.
Kingdom of Heaven: Guys being lit on fire. 'Nuff said. King Arthur: We should watch this together sometime. Rollicking japery for all! Check out m15m for a fantastic parody...
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That was probably infinitely more entertaining than the actual movie, which I'm certain would only annoy me. And, I'm sure, about 10,000 times more intelligent. I actually learned things while reading this! And did NOT lose brain cells!
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Other than that, thanks for the compliments! I'm glad someone found this useful/entertaining. As I couldn't stop jotting down notes during the movie, I rather suspected that I would simply annoy the hell out of anyone who actually read it!
Reply
REALLY? Neat. :D You remember correctly.
However, that doesn't seem like a very moral reason to watch a movie. Hmm.
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Thank you. When Californians overrun the midwest, I will see that you are spared.
That was an excellent review, BTW. Those are important points! I don't care how good the acting or cinematography is if I have to spend the whole movie sulking because the studio won't even pay lip service to historical accuracy.
Boorman's approach is correct: Do historical detail right or don't do it at all. A worse crime than the liberties that Boorman took is to use some made-up historical "babble" to give the movie a historical "feel". It's never accurate and it drives me insane to pay $9 a pop to be lied to.
Reply
You make a particular point about the "made-up historical 'babble'" that I hadn't quite thought of: since most of these details are given in dialogue (in other words, at no investment cost in sets, costumes, etc.), it does seem particularly offensive that when historical accuracy is to be had with the most minimal of research, we have to sit instead through someone's programme of propaganda or social manipulation.
I had the same feelings in watching Troy the other week. Not that the ancient world was without its own kinds of sceptics, but to have the gods edited out of the drama and to have Achilles spouting Enlightenment anti-religious-establishment drivel was such a waste of an opportunity. The drama is all about the gods: without them and their interaction with the Greeks and the ( ... )
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I'll admit, I liked the movie the first (and only) time I watched it.
But now, I hate it.
Only, because, as you mentioned, "Excalibur" is just so damn f'n awesome.
Have you seen "Kingdom of Heaven"?
I'm afraid to.
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Typical Hollywood.
Why does every movie have to have a bad guy?
Remember "Rudy"?
Apparently, coach Dan Devine was not so adverse to letting Rudy play in blowouts during Rudy's senior year.
But you know, for the movie's sake, he had to be all evil.
Always take the "historical fiction Hollywood" with a massive chunk of salt.
Give me pure fantasy any day, though I still find myself drawn to the period pieces.
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King Arthur: We should watch this together sometime. Rollicking japery for all! Check out m15m for a fantastic parody...
Reply
;-P
I've got the parody here: looks like fun. Thanks! Hope all is well and you're locking your doors before bed nowadays. (My Mom loved that story.)
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