fic: never say never

[nova33]

Never Say Never

by alex_boylove and me
PG-13, at most. Probably just PG.
11,136 words
Johnny Weir/Evan Lysacek

Written for skategreat's cliché challenge, prompt #92, kid!fic. This started out as comment fic and then we clearly got a little bit carried away. Many thanks to unlurkster for the very speedy, last-minute beta; any and all remaining mistakes are entirely mine. Title semi-stolen from the lyrics to "Forever Young" by Youth Group.



When Evan calls at nine p.m. on Thursday, it’s really kind of sad how unsurprised Johnny is. He picks up and says, “Yes, Evan?”

“Johnny, he won’t talk to me,” Evan hisses into the phone, sounding desperate.

Johnny sighs dramatically and says, "Oh my god, give him some space. This is what teenagers are like. Just because you were some weird robot child with no emotions doesn't mean everyone else is."

"But he's not talking to me at all! I ask him how his day's been, and he just grunts! And it says here in chapter thirteen..." Evan trails off, apparently reading from one of his stupid parenting books that he had bought after Lianne had dropped Caleb off at Evan’s a year ago. “Johnny, will you please just come over here?”

Johnny says, “You know I actually have a life, right?” but he’s already grabbing his car keys and heading for the door. Experience has taught him that Evan will keep calling until Johnny comes over or until Johnny breaks his phone in frustration.

Johnny lets himself into Evan’s house - after the fifth time Evan had called Johnny for help, he had made Johnny a key because “it’s easier than me having to let you in every time” - and heads into the living room to find Evan fluttering uselessly around Caleb, whose arms are crossed moodily, his expression mulish.

“Dad, please stop,” Caleb groans hopelessly. “I don’t want to talk.”

“Evan,” Johnny sighs, “leave your son alone. Sit down, take a deep breath. Come on, Caleb.” Johnny bundles Caleb off to his room and tells the unresponsive teen, "If you want to talk about it, let us know. We're always here for you," then goes back down and smacks Evan upside the head.

"Dumbass," he says, "you need to show him some trust."

Evan closes the parenting book in his lap and looks up at Johnny beseechingly. "I do trust him. It's not like I think he's doing drugs, or anything." Evan pales. "Oh man, you don't think -"

"No, Evan, I don't. He's not doing drugs, stop being stupid.”

"Then what's up with him?" complains Evan, tugging at his hair. "Am I a bad father?"

Johnny sighs and sits down next to Evan, rubbing at his back gingerly. "You're not a bad father, you're just - you’re figuring things out." He pauses, then realization dawns. "I bet he has a crush on someone."

"Oh my god!" Evan exclaims. "That means we have to have the talk, he doesn't know anything -" He hesitates.

"Jesus," Johnny says, rolling his eyes. "You think I'd let you deal with that? You asked for my help with your kid. The first thing I did was explain sex to him." He snorts. "It's not like you would."

"That's...probably for the best." Evan sighs.

"What, there isn’t a chapter in any of these books on the topic?" Johnny teases, picking up the one nearest to him and idly flipping through a few pages.

Evan flushes a little. "I, uh...kind of skipped those chapters."

Johnny raises an eyebrow at him. "You are so lucky I'm here."

"I know," Evan says, dropping his head onto his arms. "Have I thanked you for helping out yet?"

"No, you haven't," Johnny replies primly, dusting off his pants and standing up. "And you don't have to, Evan. I like your kid. He's funny. He reminds me a little of me when I was that age, except less fabulous."

"Oh god," Evan says, eyes wide. "Do I have to tell him that he doesn't have to be afraid to come out?"

"Evan!" Johnny exclaims, though he privately thinks maybe Caleb might benefit slightly from that talk. The boy is definitely at least bicurious, but that probably makes some sense considering the time he’s spent around both Evan and Johnny (Evan has never officially said that he likes guys, but he hasn't had a girlfriend in, like, five years, so Johnny has his suspicions). "Why can't you just let him be? I know you mean well -"

"I just want to make up for lost time with him," Evan interrupts. "I've - I haven't been there for him, Johnny, not like I should have been."

Johnny stares at Evan's resigned, beaten-down expression and resists reminding Evan that it wasn’t exactly by choice. Instead, he says, "Just - you asked for my help. Let me help you."

“Okay,” Evan says, nodding tiredly. “Okay.” He drops his head into his hands and murmurs, “You can go home, Johnny.”

Johnny doesn’t move, even though he had left a marathon of season fifteen of America’s Top Model and a glass of really expensive red wine back at his house. “Evan, you’re a mess. If you think I’m leaving Caleb alone with you right now, you are out of your mind.”

Evan looks up at him in confusion; he seems maybe the tiniest bit offended. “What exactly do you think I’m going to do?”

“I just think you’ll go up and bother Caleb into talking to you and you would just alienate him,” Johnny explains. “The kid’s mom left him with you to work in China, he’s going to be a little closed off.”

“You’re right, I know you’re right,” Evan sighs. “I just - I don’t know how to not bother him and still be a good parent.”

“Well, you can start by not reading these parenting books.” Johnny plucks the book off of Evan’s lap and collects the others off the coffee table. “I’m taking these back with me. Try not to stress yourself out too much and remember that Caleb is almost an adult.”

Evan blinks at Johnny and asks, seemingly at random, “So how’s Olivier?”

Johnny shifts the books in his arms and answers softly, “He’s, uh. I don’t know. I haven’t talked to him in three weeks.”

“You broke up?” Evan asks in surprise. “Why didn’t you tell me last time you were here?”

“Because you were too busy trying to get me to help you tutor Caleb in history,” Johnny reminds him. “And I didn’t know you cared. Or that you remembered his name.”

“You were dating him for, like, two years,” Evan points out. “You mentioned him once or twice.” He actually manages to put some sarcasm into the last part, which Johnny decides to blame on his bad influence.

“Yes, well,” Johnny says stiffly. “We had some differences of opinion.”

The exact discussion had gone something like this:

“You know, considering that you claim to hate him, you certainly spend an awful lot of time with Evan,” Olivier said, his arms crossed. He really did have fantastic arms, with incredible biceps.

“I choreograph for his student,” Johnny sighed; they had this argument often. “And we work as the consultants for Toe Pick and “Ice Dreams”, you know that.”

“That doesn’t explain why you always have to run off to help his stupid kid,” Olivier snapped irritably

“Don’t you dare call Caleb stupid,” Johnny replied hotly. “He’s a good kid.”

“Well, why don’t you just marry Evan and adopt the brat, then,” Olivier growled angrily. “I don’t know why you like that kid, he’s such an annoying little shit.”

“I would appreciate it if you would stop talking now,” Johnny said coldly, feeling the hot rush of anger envelop him. No one talked shit about Caleb in front of him. “And please leave. You can pick your things up on Monday, I’ll pack them up for you.”

Johnny doesn’t tell Evan any of this, of course; Evan doesn’t need to know. Even if Johnny had broken up with Olivier over Evan’s kid. (And Olivier had been so good in bed, too. But Johnny really does like Caleb and if Olivier couldn’t accept that, then fuck him.)

“I’m sorry,” Evan says quietly. “I know you liked him.”

“He wasn’t worth it,” Johnny replies, waving his hand dismissively. “There were certain parts of my life he couldn’t accept and if he couldn’t do that, then he didn’t really love me.”

Evan nods thoughtfully, his head rolling back. “That makes sense.”

Johnny sighs, almost fondly, and says, “Good night, Evan. Relax, let your son be. You can call if you need to, but do try to only call if it’s an emergency, okay?”

“Thank you, Johnny,” Evan says, and he waves as Johnny lets himself back out, balancing the books in his arms. Johnny drives home and dumps the books on the armchair before curling up on the sofa to watch the rest of the Top Model marathon, but for some reason, it just isn’t working for him. He sighs, picks up his glass of wine, and heads up to bed, where he lays alone for several hours, unable to fall asleep.

***

Johnny still isn’t entirely sure how or why he ended up becoming Evan’s go-to guy with Caleb. Following his retirement, Johnny had relocated to Los Angeles to write his memoirs and see what work he could get. Of course, Evan was there as well, and they were both hired by the CW to serve as consultants on their new ice skating dramedy series Toe Pick, which had turned out to be a surprising hit. They have that kid from Ugly Betty as one of the leads and the show is used to bring new young talent to the limelight. It’s on its sixth season now; it’s practically achieved soap opera cult status.

So they worked on that together and then Evan wanted to start some show on ice where there would be regular shows and guests and shit - Johnny is really just an investor, he doesn’t participate all that much. But it was during a meeting for Ice Dreams (god, does Johnny ever hate that name) that Lianne Garbowsky showed up with a ten year-old Caleb in tow. (The meeting had been at Evan’s house, because Ice Dreams had been an in-house thing for the first year or so.)

The doorbell rang in the middle of Evan and Johnny’s meeting with some sponsors. Johnny, who was so bored that he had actually started paying attention, immediately leapt to his feet and said, “I’ll get it!”

Lianne was pretty, even after ten years of motherhood. She was tiny and blonde - Evan definitely had a type - with elegant features and big green eyes. “Hi,” she said to Johnny when he opened the door. “I’m sorry, I - is Evan Lysacek here?”

“Um, who should I say it is?” Johnny asked, arching his eyebrows at her.

“Lianne Garbowsky. He’ll know who it is.”

Johnny blinked at her, then took a couple steps back inside the house and called, “Evan! There’s someone here to see you.”

Evan emerged from his living room a moment later, frowning. “Who is it?”

“Someone named Lianne Garbowsky?” Johnny offered. “She says you’ll know who she is?”

Evan’s eyes widened. “Lianne?” Johnny stepped aside as Evan came towards the door. When he saw Lianne, he rushed forward and said, “Lianne, oh my god! What are you doing here?” They embraced, a little awkwardly in Johnny’s opinion, before Evan turned and said, “Johnny, Lianne was my high school sweetheart. Lianne, this is Johnny Weir.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Johnny said brightly, already planning to leave them alone and go back to the meeting.

“Same here,” Lianne replied before turning her attention back to Evan. “Evan, I need to tell you something. There’s someone you need to meet.” Lianne turned and called, “Caleb, come here.”

A small, dark-haired boy ran up to Lianne’s side and took her hand. Johnny’s eyes went huge, because he remembered when Evan was an awkward child and what he looked like, and the little boy bore more than a passing resemblance to younger Evan.

“Evan, this is our son,” Lianne said with a tremulous smile. “Caleb, this is your father.”

Evan stared at her in incomprehension. “What?”

“You remember prom night?” Lianne coaxed with a teasing smile, pushing Caleb to stand in front of her. “This is what happened.”

Evan just gaped at her, apparently at a loss for words. Johnny glanced back towards the living room and decided that they need to take care of this.

“Um,” Johnny said, pulling Evan back, “why don’t you guys take this into the kitchen? Evan, I’ll deal with the sponsors.”

Evan just nodded dumbly, still staring at Lianne. Johnny rolled his eyes and headed back to the living room, where the sponsors were waiting patiently. They looked up at him expectantly.

“So sorry,” he told them. “Evan has a family emergency. Do you think we could pick this up sometime next week? Call us and we’ll work out a time, okay?”

He managed to corral them out of Evan’s house with a minimal amount of trouble, thanking them for their time and apologizing profusely for the inconvenience. Luckily, Evan and his mini episode of Jerry Springer seemed to have moved into the kitchen. Johnny poked his head inside, intending only to check up on them before leaving too, but when he saw Lianne and Evan arguing, he decided not to leave just yet.

“You had no right to hide this from me for ten years!” Evan was saying, uncharacteristically emotional. “He’s my son!”

Caleb was sitting at the kitchen table, his eyes wide as he watched his parents argue. Johnny crept in as quietly as he could and took Caleb’s hand gently. “Hi,” he whispered. “I’m Johnny, I’m friends with your dad. You wanna go watch TV?”

Caleb nodded and he followed Johnny out into the living room. He perched on the edge of the sofa next to Johnny as Johnny turned on the television, flipping until he found the food channel. After a few minutes, he became aware that the kid was staring at him, so he turned and asked, “What?”

“You’re the guy my dad competed against,” Caleb said. “Aren’t you?”

“How do you know that?” Johnny asked curiously.

“My mom made me watch the Olympics when I was six,” Caleb explained, sounding put-upon. “They kept saying you and dad were rivals.”

“We were,” Johnny said slowly. The kid was smarter than he had expected; Lianne must have been a good influence on him.

“But not anymore?” Caleb turned fully to face Johnny, his small face openly curious. “You said you’re his friend.”

“Um, well,” Johnny said hesitantly, “sort of.”

“Oh,” Caleb said, “so are you, like, ‘friends’?” He even put up air quotes. Johnny knew he must have gotten that from Lianne, because Evan had never been that saucy as a kid. And Evan definitely hadn’t made sexual innuendo jokes until he was at least seventeen.

“No,” Johnny replied. “We just work together.” He tilted his head to the side and looked at Caleb thoughtfully. “I like you, Caleb. You’re funny.”

Caleb grinned, wide and pleased. “Thank you.”

Johnny laughed and resisted the urge to reach out and ruffle Caleb’s hair. He doubted the kid would appreciate it. “So did you want to watch anything in particular?”

“Not really,” Caleb sighed, abruptly going moody. He crossed his arms and sunk back into the sofa. “I thought my dad would be happy to meet me.”

“I’m sure he is,” Johnny said diplomatically. “Just - he’s probably a little surprised, is all. He’ll need some time to get used to it.”

“I guess,” Caleb sighed, and he looked so downtrodden that even Johnny’s heart melted a little. Johnny groaned to himself before pulling himself up, offering Caleb a hand.

“You know what you need?” he said to Caleb. “Ice cream.”

Caleb bounced up and took Johnny’s hand, small and seemingly breakable. Johnny tried not to hold on too hard. “Really? You’ll let me have ice cream?”

“Yeah, I know a place,” Johnny said. “Let’s go tell your parents, okay?” He towed Caleb back towards the kitchen and poked his head in.

“Look, Evan, I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” Lianne said, sounding tired. Johnny waved at them to get their attention.

“Hi, so I’m taking Caleb out to get ice cream,” he told them. “We’ll be back in like half an hour.”

Evan glanced over and nodded. “Yeah, sure. Me and Lianne need to talk some things out.”

“Okay, Caleb,” Johnny said, looking down as he towed Caleb out of the house. “Hear that? We’re going to go have fun without these old farts.”

Caleb giggled as he climbed into the passenger seat of Johnny’s sleek, shiny sports car (it had been an early thirtieth birthday gift to himself). “You’re so much cooler than any of my mom’s friends.”

“I’m cooler than most people,” Johnny agreed. “But enough about me, tell me about you.”

By the time they arrived at Johnny’s favorite ice cream place, Johnny knew all about Caleb’s school friends, what Caleb wanted to be when he grew up (a doctor or a rock star), and that Caleb wanted to know how to ice skate.

“Dad loves it, right?” he asked, looking up at Johnny.

“Your dad loves it so much I sometimes wonder how he ever retired,” Johnny told him sincerely. He suddenly had a thought and said, “Hey, if you and your mom stick around for a while, maybe he could take you down to the rink and teach you.”

“Do you think he would want to?” Caleb asked wistfully.

“I’m sure he will,” Johnny assured him. He finally gave into temptation and ruffled Caleb’s hair. “Come on, ice cream time.”

***

By the time Johnny and Caleb got back to the house, Evan and Lianne seemed to have talked enough. When he sees them, Evan asked hesitantly, "Do you think I can talk to Caleb?"

Johnny looked at Caleb, whose face was still smeared with the aftermath of his chocolate ice cream. Caleb nodded and let go of Johnny's hand before walking over to Evan. Evan and Caleb retreated into the kitchen to talk, leaving Lianne and Johnny in an uncomfortable silence.

"So you and Evan were high school sweethearts?" Johnny asked eventually, looking at her. "What was he like?"

Lianne smiled. "You knew him then, too," she pointed. "Though, if you must know, he was extremely driven. He worked harder than anyone at school. Kept the figure skating thing a secret for a long time, until our principal had us all watch Nationals."

"Wait," Johnny said slowly, delighted. "Evan kept his figure skating a secret?"

"You didn't hear about this?" Lianne laughed and Johnny found himself liking her despite the fact that dropping the whole kid thing on Evan was kind of a douche move. "I think he was embarrassed."

Johnny settled back against the wall with a grin and said, "Do tell."

By the time Evan and Caleb emerged from the kitchen, Johnny had more dirt on Evan that he had ever hoped to have, and Caleb and Evan seemed to have bonded. Caleb was enthusiastically telling Evan about his school and ran to his mom, telling her Evan had promised to teach him skating. Lianne smiled at Johnny and Evan. They said their goodbyes and Lianne disappeared with Caleb in tow, leaving Johnny to deal with an exhausted Evan. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Evan said, blinking up at him. “I think we have it all sorted out now.”

“Well, that’s good,” Johnny said. He felt awkward standing in the kitchen with Evan looking so beaten, like he’d been intruding on a private moment.

“Thanks for taking him,” Evan said after a few moments of silence. “I guess I didn’t make the best impression.”

“You were surprised,” Johnny replied, shrugging. “That was definitely out of the blue.”

“Still, though.” Evan sighed and buried his head in his hands. “I don’t know how I’m going to do this. I don’t know what it’s like being a parent.”

“No one does, Evan,” Johnny said, sitting down beside him. “The whole thing’s a learning process.” Johnny paused and put his hand on Evan’s shoulder, giving a brief squeeze. “I’m sure you’ll be a great father.”

“Yeah?” Evan asked, looking up at him.

“Definitely,” Johnny replied. At the time he hadn’t been that certain, but as the months passed it became obvious that Evan’s level of devotion to everything he did was no different when it came to a son. He was so anxious about being a good father that he somehow recruited Johnny to help along the way, and Johnny hadn’t really looked back since.

Lianne and Evan had worked out a deal where Evan would get Caleb during the summers and school breaks so Caleb wouldn't have to leave his school and friends. Evan, though, had no idea of what to do with Caleb. The first Christmas he spent with Evan, Evan spent the week before Caleb's arrival freaking out over how his house wasn't properly prepared for the holidays. After the third call for advice on just how many paper snowflakes should be taped up around the house, Johnny got in his car and drove to Evan's.

"You are a disaster," Johnny declared when Evan opened the door, covered in tinsel and wearing the stupidest Christmas sweater Johnny had ever seen. "Let me in, the poor kid is going to be overwhelmed."

"I don't even have a tree," Evan moaned helplessly, pressing a hand to his forehead. "This is going to suck, he's going to hate me."

Johnny rolled his eyes and shoved Evan inside. "Look, the tree can wait. You should go buy it with Caleb, as a father-son bonding thing. As for the snowflakes, you let me handle those, okay?"

"Thank you," Evan said gratefully, sinking down on his couch and shoving the pile of white printer paper towards Johnny, a pair of scissors sitting on top. "I usually go back to Chicago for Christmas, but this year I need to make it special for Caleb."

"I get it," Johnny told him soothingly. He picked up the top sheet of paper and began folding it to make snowflakes. "Go finish putting tinsel up or whatever you were doing."

"I want to cut snowflakes," Evan said after a moment. "Can you teach me?"

***

Caleb arrived with a duffel bag and a nervous smile, looking as gangly and awkward as Evan had when they were kids. Evan had tricked Johnny into going to the airport with him with a lie about shopping for an "Ice Dreams" event and Johnny pouted until he saw Caleb, because the kid was cute. And obviously worried about his dad.

Evan broke into a helpless grin when he saw Caleb, practically jittering in place. "Caleb!" he exclaimed, holding out his arms. Caleb's smile widened and he hurried over to them, hugging Evan around the waist after dropping his bag to the ground. Johnny sighed and picked the duffel bag up, slinging it over his shoulder. Caleb released Evan and moved to hug Johnny too. Johnny blinked at Evan in surprise, but let his hand settle on Caleb's head fondly.

"I'm so glad you're here," Evan told Caleb after Caleb let go of Johnny. "We're going to have a great Christmas, I promise. We'll pick out a tree on the way home."

"Okay," Caleb said, following them out to the car. "Can we make a gingerbread house? Mom and I always make a gingerbread house."

Evan threw Johnny a panicked look, but smoothed out his expression quickly. "Yes, of course. We'll pick a kit up on our way home, too."

They stopped by a community centre on the way back to Evan's, because they were selling trees for charity in the parking lot. A lot of the trees looked a little sad and pathetic, in Johnny's opinion, but Caleb seemed ecstatic that they were getting a real tree instead of just a plastic one, and Evan was too busy grinning at Caleb to really care about the trees.

"What about this one?" Caleb asked, tugging on the boughs of a very large, slightly lopsided tree in the far corner of the lot.

"It's excellent!" Evan exclaimed, not sounding entirely convinced.

"It's possible it's too large to fit in your doorway," Johnny said, and Evan squinted a little.

"It's possible you might be right." Caleb's face fell, but Evan just tugged him over and pointed at a smaller tree. "It's not as tall," he said, "but it has way more branches."

Johnny leaned in to whisper to Caleb. "Plus its branches go out further, so that means more presents under the tree." He smirked up at Evan as he said it, and Evan just shook his head as Caleb broke out in a delighted grin.

"Okay!" Caleb said. "This one."

Johnny went with them to the store and made sure that Evan picked out the right gingerbread house kit - Evan wanted to get the biggest one, but Johnny wasn't sure how long either of them would last trying to put the whole thing together, so he put the one with the most candy in the basket instead. He helped them haul their bounty home, but bowed out on the actual decorating, claiming allergies to pine, but really wanting to give Evan and Caleb time to bond. He noticed as he was leaving that Caleb was sniffling slightly, but he dismissed it as nothing more than usual sniffles.

That proved to be an incorrect assumption when Johnny got a panicked call at about seven the next morning. "Caleb has a fever," Evan said the moment Johnny picked up. "I don't know what to do!"

"Why are you calling me?" Johnny demanded sleepily, rolling over in bed. "Why not your mom?"

"My mom doesn't live here," Evan retorted, sounding desperate. "Please, come over? And bring, like, medicine or whatever."

Johnny hung up and staggered out of bed, rubbing at his eyes. He went to the bathroom and showered quickly before heading out to his kitchen and ransacking the cabinet. He found some medicine, but not a whole lot, so he went out to the grocery store and bought some gatorade and some pre-made soup to bring for Caleb.

When he arrived at Evan's house, Evan yanked the door open with a panicked expression. "Thank god you're here," he said, grabbing Johnny's arm and yanking him inside. "I don't know what to do, he's just so miserable and I can't help him, he just looks so sick." He pointed down the hall. "Caleb's in there."

Johnny went into Caleb's room and sees the kid underneath a heavy blanket, sniffling into a tissue. Johnny set his bag of supplies down and laid a hand against Caleb's forehead. He felt overly warm, not that Johnny was an expert, and his cheeks were flushed. Johnny glanced back at Evan. "Have you taken his temperature?"

"Oh!" Evan said and he vanished out of the room for a moment before reappearing with a thermometer clutched in one gargantuan hand. "Here."

Johnny took it and helped Caleb sit upright. "Caleb, open your mouth," he coaxed until Caleb got it and opened his mouth. Johnny stuck the thermometer in and waited until it beeped. He took it out and read, 100.2. "Yep," Johnny told Evan, showing him the thermometer. "He's sick."

"What do I do?" Evan asked urgently and Johnny looked down at Caleb.

"Do you want a movie or something?" Johnny asked and Caleb nodded. "Tell your dad what you want to watch and I'll heat up the soup for you."

Evan's kitchen was surprisingly well-stocked, so Johnny took one of the apples sitting in a bowl on the kitchen counter and cut one of those up too. He wished he had a pomegranate so he could make Caleb drink some pomegranate juice. He felt a bit like he was channeling Galina as he poured the soup into a bowl and took it into Caleb's room. Evan had put on some film that Johnny didn't recognize and is sitting next to Caleb on the bed. Johnny smiled, despite himself, and passed Caleb the apple and the soup before starting to leave. Evan started up and said, "Wait, don't go."

"It looks like you've got everything under control," Johnny pointed out. He wasn't being entirely honest; he also just didn't want to get sick and he was pretty sure that Caleb was contagious. But Caleb looked up at him with a pleading expression and gestured to the patch of bed where Johnny could sit. With a sigh, Johnny plopped down on Caleb's other side and curled up to watch the movie with them.

That had been the tipping point, Johnny is sure, because after that Evan called whenever he had a Caleb-related emergency and Caleb would pout until Johnny agreed to spend Christmas or New Year's or Fourth of July with the, to the point where it has become routine for Johnny to go to Evan's for any major holiday. It's sort of nice, in a weird way.

Patti thinks it's crazy; Johnny doesn't doubt that Tanya holds a similar opinion, but he and Evan don't talk about it. Nor do they talk about how weird it is that Johnny has become almost Caleb's other parent. He knows that the people at the school think he and Evan are a couple - Evan had asked Johnny to go along with him when they had set up Caleb's transfer papers and Johnny has spoken to most of Caleb's teachers - and they've never really done anything to disabuse them of the notion, despite the occasional awkwardness that ensues. Johnny likes being Caleb's unofficial father.

***

A couple months after the parenting book communication fiasco, Johnny gets another late night call just as he’s about to go to bed. He arrives at Evan’s five minutes later. Evan is pacing in the living room, gazing out the front window and compulsively checking his watch.

"This is so irresponsible of him!" Evan rants, running a hand through his hair. "We've had so many discussions about trust and - what the hell did I buy him a phone for if he's not going to use it?" Evan stops suddenly, stricken. "Do you think - I mean, maybe he's hurt, or dead in a ditch, or-"

"I'm sure he's fine, Evan," Johnny sighs, reclining back against Evan's sinfully comfortable couch. "You've tried calling him?"

"Of course I've tried calling him!" Evan exclaims. "He's just -"

The front door slams and Caleb calls out, "Dad? I'm home, sorry I'm late. I had to drive Olivia home, she was pretty drunk."

Evan stomps out into the foyer, Johnny trailing after him. "And you couldn't have called?"

"I'm like fifteen minutes late, I didn't think it was that big of a deal." Caleb pauses, sees Johnny, and groans. "You called Uncle Johnny. Again."

"Oh my god, please never call me that again," Johnny says, disturbed. "You make me feel old."

"You are old," Caleb says, which is so not true because Johnny is only thirty-five. But then, Caleb is only sixteen; Johnny remembers being sixteen. Everyone over the age of twenty-seven had seemed old to him.

"You weren't drinking, were you?" Evan demands, leaning down to smell Caleb's breath. "You don't smell like you were."

"God, Dad, no. I wouldn't have driven home if I was drunk, who do you think I am?" Caleb rolls his eyes. "I'm sorry I'm late, but I wanted to make sure Olivia got home safe."

Johnny steps forward and curls an arm around Caleb's shoulders, raising his eyebrows at Evan. "And we're very proud of you for that, aren't we, Evan? You're a good friend." He has no idea who Olivia is, but he’s sure that Caleb is a good friend to her.

Evan blinks and then says slowly, "Yes, we're very proud."

Caleb rolls his eyes again, more emphatically this time. "For God's sake, when are you guys just going to get married already?"

"Uh..." Evan manages, as Johnny rushes to say, "It is not like that, as you are well aware."

Caleb just shakes his head in disgust. "Whatever. I’m going to my room."

An uncomfortable silence descends on the living room as soon as Caleb trudges upstairs. Evan avoids Johnny's gaze studiously, his mouth pressed into a thin line. Johnny hates the awkwardness; it had taken years for them to get used to each other again and the silence is like reverting to their relationship from when they were twenty.

"See? Nothing to worry about." Johnny sounds like he's trying too hard to be cheerful. "He was, in fact, heeding all your lessons about being responsible."

"He still could have called," Evan mumbles, and sits down heavily on the couch.

"He was only fifteen minutes late!" Johnny exclaims, settling next to him. "Which means that you called me when he was, oh...five minutes late. Maybe less."

Evan has the grace to look a little sheepish. "Maybe."

Johnny shakes his head and sinks back against the cushions, stretching his arms out. "You are far too neurotic for your own good. Or his." When Evan doesn't respond immediately, Johnny turns his head. "Evan?"

"You don't think-" Evan starts, and then deflates a little. "I mean, I'm not too neurotic, am I? Do you think I've really screwed him up?"

Johnny almost wants to hit Evan, or at least roll his eyes again, but Evan sounds so painfully earnest about it that Johnny just moves a little closer to him and loops an arm around his shoulders. "You're a great father," he says softly, giving Evan's shoulder a light squeeze.

"Yeah?" Evan asks, sounding a little less despondent.

"Yeah, of course. You just need a little help every now and then."

Evan sighs and sinks back into the couch, rolling his head up to stare at the ceiling. "I can't believe you're still helping me out." He looks over at Johnny, his eyes overly sincere. "Thank you."

"Well, I'm never going to have kids," Johnny says with forced cheerfulness. "Why not steal yours?"

Evan chokes out a laugh and covers his face with his hands. "You're so much better at this than I am," he says thickly through his fingers. "How did you get so smart?"

"I was born that way, I guess." Johnny suddenly realizes his arm is still around Evan's shoulders and he pulls away quickly. "Um. I should be going."

Evan drops his arms and grabs Johnny's hands before Johnny can get up. "No, stay. Please." He looks up pleadingly. "He likes you. He trusts you, Johnny. I need you." Johnny blinks at him and Evan hurriedly says, "Not, like, you know, need, but -"

"Oh my god, Evan, shut up," Johnny sighs. "I know what you mean, don't worry. I don't think you want to be my lover or whatever you think I want. I'm not going to get any ideas."

Evan stares at him, a weird expression on his face, then lunges forward and pulls Johnny into a bruising kiss. His lips are warm, and his kiss is desperate, longing. Johnny flails in confusion, almost smacking Evan in the face, and falls forward on top of him, chest to chest. One of Evan's hands settles between Johnny's shoulder blades as Evan pulls back a little, his tongue sweeping across Johnny's lips. It's been months since Johnny has had sex and he can't pretend, even to himself, that it doesn't feel good to have someone kiss him again, to be pressed up against someone else, even if it is Evan.

"Dad, I'm - oh my god." Johnny and Evan jerk apart, Johnny falling onto the floor next to the couch with a painful crash. Caleb is peeking at them through his fingers from his place on the staircase. "What - what the hell? I thought you said -"

"Your father jumped me!" Johnny says immediately. "I swear, we haven't been having a torrid affair behind your back."

"I didn't jump you," Evan splutters as Johnny gets to his feet, wincing as several old aches make themselves known once more. His hip is not happy with him.

"You definitely did." Johnny frowns at him and puts his hands on his hips.

"I definitely - I'm not doing this." Evan sits up, running a hand through his hair, inadvertently making it even messier than before.

"And I did not need to see that," Caleb says, still frozen on the stairs. He lowers his hands cautiously, making a face. "Seriously. You have a room, you know that, right?"

Evan groans and buries his head in his hands. "Oh god," he sighs.

"Your father and I were not - and will not be - doing anything that would require a room, Caleb," Johnny says as calmly as he can. "He jumped me, but it was just a misunderstanding."

"Uh huh," Caleb replies, looking skeptical.

"We weren't," Johnny says sternly, giving Caleb his fiercest look.

Caleb still doesn't look convinced, but he wisely chooses to change the subject. "Dad, I'm going to have to work extra hours tomorrow. I just wanted you to know that I probably won't be able to make it to the rink with you." Evan doesn't move, not even to look up, and Johnny thinks it's probably because he's still embarrassed, but Caleb adds, "I'm sorry."

There's a too-long pause, but then Evan looks up and smiles at Caleb. "It's okay, you have to work. I'll see you tomorrow morning. Pancakes!"

"I know, Dad. Just like every Sunday." Caleb starts up the stairs, but then stops and leans down to look at them. "Is Uncle -" He stops at another sharp gaze from Johnny. "Is Johnny staying for breakfast?"

"We're not -" Johnny says, at the same time as Evan starts with, "It's not -"

Caleb just rolls his eyes again (Johnny is considering ranking them on a scale; 1 for the half-assed ones where Caleb isn't really trying, and 10 for the ones where Caleb is so clearly filled with disdain that it radiates across the room. This one is about an eight or a nine). "Sure, sure," he says, chuckling as he walks up to his room.

"So that was awkward," Johnny says after a moment. "I'm going to go home now and pretend this never happened, okay?"

"Johnny, it's like midnight. You shouldn't drive home this late." Evan gestures towards the door to the guest bedroom. "Stay the night. It doesn't have to mean anything."

"God, you really don't get it, do you?" sighs Johnny. "You can't just kiss me and expect me to ignore it, for fuck's sake. I'm not going to be a surrogate wife."

Evan steps closer to Johnny, and Johnny feels crowded, rushed. "Caleb would really like to see you in the morning," he whispers. "So would I."

Johnny groans and rubs a hand through his hair, not caring that he's messing it up. "Fine. I'll stay. Just one night, though."

Evan reaches out, as if he wants to touch Johnny's face, then drops his hand. "Thank you."

Johnny makes a face and stomps into the guest bedroom, taking off his shirt as he goes. He hopes, a little viciously, that Evan is looking.

He jerks off in the shower, determinedly not thinking about anyone in particular, and glares at the tiled wall of the shower, irritated. How dare Evan ruin the fragile peace they've maintained ever since Caleb entered their lives. Everything had been just fine before; why did he have to change things? When he's finished, he pulls his underwear back on and climbs into the bed, curling up on his side.

Sometimes Johnny wonders if Evan knows how goddamn lucky he is; he knocked up some girl in high school and he still got to have his life and be with his kid. And Caleb is a great kid, he really is. Sometimes Johnny is so jealous of Evan, with his stupid perfect life. He doesn't know why Evan has to try to change things; it worked before, when they ignored any tension between them and Johnny went home to his empty apartment after coaching Evan through his latest parenthood crisis. Johnny rolls over onto his back and stares at the ceiling for a long time before he finally drifts off to sleep.

Johnny wakes up in the morning to the smell of coffee and pancakes, and trudges downstairs to find Evan leaning against the counter, lazily flipping pancakes, and Caleb sitting at the kitchen table with a book.

There's a comfortable, warm silence in the room, and Johnny stops in the hallway, before they notice him, to survey the scene for a moment. It's times like this that Johnny worries that he's missed out on something, not having a family of his own, still living in a small apartment.

"Hey," Evan says, noticing him. "Morning."

Caleb twists in his chair and gives a little wave before turning back to his book, his mouth full of pancake.

"Morning," Johnny says, taking a seat at the table, and Evan sets a mug down in front of him.

When Johnny peers into the cup suspiciously, Evan shakes his head. "Yes, Johnny, it's carefully formulated to meet with your high standards." Johnny takes a small sip and is pleased to find that Evan has, in fact, learned something from him. There was a time when he couldn't make a decent cup of coffee to save his life.

"I need your help with this," Caleb says, and Johnny takes another sip and arches an eyebrow at him, waiting. Caleb rolls his eyes and adds, "Please."

"What's the problem?" Johnny asks, sitting down and curling his hands around the mug.

Caleb pushes his paper slightly towards Johnny. "I have to write an essay, but I don't really understand it. And Dad is no help-"

"Hey!" Evan proclaims, pouring more pancake batter into the skillet. "Come on!"

"Well you aren't!" Caleb counters, and turns back to Johnny. "It's Shakespeare."

"Ah," Johnny says, glancing at Evan and suppressing a smile at Evan's indignant expression. "I see."

"Shakespeare was never my strong point," Evan mutters, and Johnny smiles into his coffee.

"Tell me all about it," Johnny orders, scooting over to be closer to Caleb. "Which play is it?"

"Macbeth," Caleb sighs dramatically.

"Oh, the Scottish Play," Johnny says with a smile. "And what do you have to write about?"

"We have to pick a symbol or a motif and trace it through the play and tell how it contributes to theme." Caleb stabs at his pancakes with his fork, frustrated. "I hate these kinds of essays, they suck."

"God, I know," sighs Johnny. "You'll never have to write an essay like this in college, I promise. It's so much more fun then."

"Pancakes?" Evan asks Johnny and Johnny gives him a look.

"You're kidding, right? I'm actually trying to maintain my body and I don't work out nearly as much as you." Johnny waves his hand dismissively. "I can't eat that, it would be the end of my girlish figure."

"You could come with me to the rink," Evan suggests hopefully. "You haven't been in a while."

He actually sounds...sad. Johnny looks up at him and sees that Evan is giving him a pleading look. "Okay," Johnny says after a moment. "I'll come with you."

"Jeez, get a room," mutters Caleb, picking up his pencil and writing in the margins of his book. Evan flushes and takes his own plate of pancakes to sit across from Johnny.

Johnny clears his throat meaningfully and turns back to Caleb. "So what motif have you chosen?"

"I was thinking prophecies," Caleb says and Johnny studiously ignores Evan while he helps Caleb decipher the play.

It's only after Caleb has left for work that Johnny realizes that agreeing to go to the rink with Evan means being alone with Evan for an extended period of time.

He agrees to meet Evan at the rink and heads home to get his skates - there is absolutely no way that he's going to skate in a rental pair, even if it means doubling back a fair ways. He briefly considers not showing up and just hoping the awkwardness passes after a day or two, but then he realizes that Evan would probably show up at his door looking like a kicked puppy, and even Johnny can't handle that.

It's also possible that Evan would freak out and start calling around to hospitals and possibly the police, so maybe Johnny just shouldn't risk it.

When he gets to the rink, Evan is already on the ice, doing a few lazy spins at the centre circle. Johnny still doesn't think that Evan is a particularly graceful skater, but he has always secretly admired the way Evan seems to make things look effortless, like all the spins and jumps and footwork are as easy to him as walking.

Johnny watches Evan as he laces up his skates, soothed by the way they fit to his feet. His first steps out onto the ice calm him of any further nerves, because skating always does that to him; he loves the movement, the way his body feels gliding across the ice, particularly when there's no pressure.

Evan catches sight of him mid-spin and winds to a halt. He skates up to Johnny and holds out his hand. Johnny stares at him for a moment, then sighs and takes Evan's hand.

"You realize we're a little old to be trying pairs stuff," Johnny says as Evan tows him across the ice. "When is your little protege getting here?"

"I gave her the day off," Evan says, releasing Johnny's hand. "Allison has been working hard. She deserves to have some time to herself."

Johnny twists on the ice to stare at Evan, surprised. "You actually gave her the day off?"

"Is that so hard to believe?" Evan asks exasperatedly, putting his hands on his hips.

"Yes," Johnny answers immediately. He skates back up to Evan, a little concerned despite himself. "What's going on, Evan? You've been acting weird."

Evan swivels his feet a little on the ice, not meeting Johnny's eyes. "Today is - it's been a year. Since Lianne went to China."

"Oh," Johnny says, suddenly understanding. "And you wanted to spend the day with Caleb." Evan sighs and takes off down the ice. Johnny follows him, not willing to let the subject go.

"It's stupid," Evan calls back over his shoulder. "I just thought he might want to hang out with me today, of all days." Johnny catches up with him and cuts him off before Evan can reach the edge of the rink.

For once, Johnny's glad that Evan insists on skating ridiculously early, because none of the day-trippers are there yet. This isn't a conversation he wants to have in front of an audience. "Evan," he says gently, "why did you ask me to be here today?" Evan looks up.

"I don't know," he admits quietly. "But you've been around as long as I've had Caleb. You were there the day I found out about him. You've been his parent in every way, more so than I have. You took care of him when he was sick -"

"Because you called me and asked me for help," Johnny interrupts

"Yeah," Evan says. "Explain to me why, exactly, you agreed to help?"

Johnny opens his mouth, then closes it. He wants to say it's because he likes Caleb - and he does - and he would say that he was hoping to con a favor out of Evan in the future, but that's not true, not really. He lets out a breath and admits, "Because when you act like a father, I see someone I could really like."

“Oh,” Evan says, and opens his mouth like he’s going to say more before looking down, wring his hands. There’s a long pause and Johnny feels awkward, shifting his weight from one side to the other as he waits for Evan to say something. “Like as in, not hate so much? Or like as in…?” Evan’s giving him a searching look and Johnny pushes off to get some space between them before circling back.

“Honestly? I’m not sure,” Johnny says, because he just isn’t - everything with Evan has been sort of foggy since Caleb came into the picture - and Evan’s face falls. “I don’t hate you,” he adds, because that much is definitely true. At some point he went from begrudgingly working with Evan to sort of enjoying spending time with him, and hate hasn’t been in the picture for a long time.

“Well, you’ve been a great father to him, too,” Evan says. “Not to, like, imply anything, but you’ve really been there for him when I haven’t.”

“Evan, there’s never been a time when you haven’t been there for him. So stop beating yourself up about whatever specific moments you have marked as failures in your head in some way.” He taps Evan on the head and Evan smiles a little, looking slightly less solemn. “It’s this kind of internalizing that causes problems in the first place, because you overreact and call me and then Caleb feels like he’s done something wrong when he hasn’t.”

“He also thinks we’re sleeping together,” Evan points out, and Johnny rolls his eyes.

“You always do an excellent job of ruining the moment,” Johnny says, pushing off and starting to slowly skate backwards.

“We were having a moment?” Evan asks, following him.

“And therein lies your problem,” Johnny says with a sigh, because Evan is usually so incredibly clueless when it comes to basic human interaction.

“I don’t have a problem,” Evan counters, catching up to Johnny and grabbing his hand. “You just didn’t react very well last night, so…”

“I didn’t react very well to you just kissing me out of the blue, with no warning or indication!” Johnny exclaims, and then Evan tugs his hand and pulls him over to the boards, trapping Johnny between the boards and Evan. Johnny can feel the warmth of Evan's body emanating into the space between them. Evan is still holding his hand, pressed close against him, and he tips Johnny’s chin up with his fingers. The only reason Johnny shivers is because Evan’s hands are cold, really.

“Is this enough warning?” Evan whispers, his breath flickering across Johnny's face. Johnny's breath stutters a little and he has to fight to keep his eyes from closing in response to Evan's proximity. Johnny is just about to say - something, he doesn’t know what, when there’s a loud voice from the other side of the rink, startling them both.

“Dad, I got - oh geez, not in a public place, seriously?” Caleb calls, and Evan drops his hands and skates away from Johnny, a rueful smile on his lips. Johnny takes a deep breath and straightens his shirt.

“We weren’t doing anything,” Johnny says to Caleb, though it’s not very convincing, even to himself.

“Sure,” Caleb says, sitting down on the bench and starting to lace up his skates. “You were just huddled together for warmth, right? Because you both forgot how cold the rink can get.” He shakes his head. “Honestly.”

“I thought you had work?” Evan asks, leaning against the boards and watching Caleb.

“I did, but I got the time off,” Caleb says, stepping onto the ice. “I’d rather be skating. But if you need me to leave…”

“No, of course not!” Evan exclaims. “We weren’t doing anything,” he adds with a look back at Johnny.

“Right,” Caleb says, giving him a skeptical look. “It’s okay, you know. It’s not like you haven’t been leading up to this for ages.”

“We haven’t!” Johnny exclaims. As if Evan’s teenage son noticed that maybe Johnny’s into Evan before Johnny actually did. "Also, I'm leaving." He tries not to say it in a huff, but he's obviously looking for an escape route. Evan is giving him a sad look, but Johnny has been immune to those for years - since they were teenagers and Evan was perhaps even more awkward than he is now - but Caleb is giving him puppy-dog eyes too, and Johnny definitely hasn't built up his defenses for those yet. "What?" he snaps, and Caleb just smiles at him winningly.

"Please stay?" Caleb asks, with just the right amount of pleading in his voice. He has clearly learned how to bend Johnny to his will over the years. Johnny abruptly regrets all the times he had given in to Caleb's pleas for ice cream.

"Fine," Johnny says reluctantly, and Caleb gives him a triumphant grin.

"You're too easy," he says, skating away from Evan and Johnny and going to do a couple quick laps of the ice. Evan skates back to Johnny with an apologetic expression on his face.

"You're really not," Evan says in an undertone, and Johnny snorts.

"Not in the way you'd like me to be, I suppose," Johnny responds quietly.

"It's amazing how you always manage to turn me into the bad guy." Evan actually sounds a little hurt about it.

"You kind of are the bad guy," Johnny says, and then adds, "Well, you were."

Evan pauses to consider. "I was sometimes an asshole," he admits. "But you called me a slore on national television."

"That does not make me an asshole," Johnny protests, and Evan rolls his eyes.

"Of course not. That was perfectly within your rights to say," he says dryly, which has always been the kind of humor that Evan is best at. He can do a deadpan like no one else.

"Free speech, and all," Johnny agrees. "You remember what you said to get us to that point, right?"

Evan looks down contritely. "Yes, and I'm sorry." He looks up at Johnny, his eyebrows quirked. "For the millionth time."

"Oh, you so have not apologized for that one yet!" Johnny exclaims, throwing up his hands.

"I definitely did," Evan insists. "About a million times. That one and all the other things I said to you that apparently scarred you for life."

"Stop making light of my pain," Johnny snaps, and then Caleb stops in front of them, sending a spray of snow onto their clothes. Johnny squawks and brushes it away.

"So guess what?" he says, cheerily loud, clearly intending to interrupt their argument. "I have a date to prom."

"Was there ever a doubt that you'd get a date?" Evan asks, confused, and Johnny slaps his arm, glaring at him.

"That's awesome, Caleb," Johnny says, smiling. "What's her name?"

"Olivia," Caleb mumbles, and he's clearly back to moody teenager after playing mediator.

"The girl who was drunk last night?" Evan asks sharply, and Johnny barely resists the urge to hit him again.

"I'm sure she's not drunk all the time, Evan," he says, and waits until Caleb looks up to roll his eyes, earning a grin. "What color dress is she wearing?"

"Uh...I'm not sure?" Caleb blinks at Johnny, abruptly looking so much like Evan that it's a little unnerving.

"You'll have to find that out so we can accessorize appropriately," Johnny says, "plus you'll need to get a corsage." He starts mentally building a list of all the things that Caleb will need. He hopes they get a limo; that would just be the cutest thing ever.

"I know, Johnny," Caleb says, long-suffering.

"I'm just making sure," Johnny returns in the same whiny tone.

"You'll help, though, right?" Caleb asks, and Johnny nods, a tiny bit insulted that Caleb could even think otherwise.

"I wouldn't dream of letting you go to prom without me dressing you," Johnny says, and pulls Caleb into a one-armed hug.

"Why can't I help?" Evan asks, pouting.

Johnny gives him a disbelieving look that Caleb echoes."Do you even know what accessorizing is, Dad?" Caleb asks, putting a hand on his hip. Johnny has taught him well.

"Do you?" Evan responds, and Caleb laughs sheepishly. Evan shakes his finger at Caleb. "See, don't get all high and mighty with me, kiddo."

"I guess it's a good thing you both have me, then," Johnny says, and slides his arm off Caleb's shoulders to start skating away. "I bet you I'm still the fastest, too."

Evan's eyes light up as he starts to follow Johnny. "I'm pretty sure I can still beat you."

"Still," Johnny scoffs as Caleb skates by them.

"You're both old," Caleb says, turning backwards to jeer at them. "Good luck catching me!"

Johnny and Evan exchange looks and Johnny says, "Oh, it is on," before he and Evan rush to catch up with Caleb, who is streaking off across the rink.

***

"You did what?" Johnny says, trying to remain calm and not shriek at Evan, who is really the most clueless person Johnny has ever met, ever.

"I volunteered to chaperone the prom," Evan says, looking confused. Johnny waves a hand at him, pacing back and forth across the living room.

"No, I heard you the first time, I just can't believe - are you serious?"

Evan nods. "Why wouldn't I be-"

"You are so dumb sometimes, Evan, I just don't know where to start." He stops pacing and stands in front of Evan, hands on his hips. "When you were his age, how would you have liked your mother being around you all time?"

"My mother was around me all the time," Evan points out, which is almost totally true, but Johnny remembers a couple of times when Tanya hadn't been around, like that one time with the bottle of champagne in France.

"What about the time that we-" Johnny begins and he raises his eyebrows significantly.

Evan pales. "Okay, no, I wouldn't have wanted her around for that, obviously, Jesus." He pauses for a second. "Wait, you're not suggesting that Caleb is going to-"

"I certainly hope not," Johnny says indignantly. "I think I've taught him better than that. He's much more responsible than we ever were."

"Thank goodness," Evan breathes, and Johnny has to agree. Neither of them had the best judgment as teenagers.

"But that doesn't mean he's going to appreciate your lanky self looming over him while he dances with the girl he likes," Johnny points out reasonably.

"I don't loom," Evan protests, indignant, jumping to his feet to glare down at Johnny.

Johnny cocks an eyebrow up at him, holding back an amused smile. "No, never."

Evan sighs and sits down again. "I wasn't going to loom, anyway."

"You're still going to be there."

"Well, I can't get out of it now! I volunteered. I can't just go back on a commitment." Typical Evan. Committed to the bitter, bitter end. Which is something Johnny doesn't want to give too much thought to considering their situation.

"Evan, this is exactly the kind of situation where it's actually better if you do back out on your commitment." Johnny tries to sound commanding, but he's pretty sure Evan learned to tune out his bossiness a while ago.

"I can't," Evan says hopelessly. "But now Caleb's going to hate me, isn't he?"

Johnny sighs and sits down next to Evan, laying a hand against Evan's neck. "When will you learn that Caleb is not just going to randomly start hating you every time you make a mistake?"

"Probably never," Evan admits, smiling sheepishly at Johnny.

"Yeah, that's sort of what I thought," Johnny replies. "If you're still so determined to do this, there's really only one way to ensure that you don't do anything stupid."

"Apart from the fact that I'm capable of functioning as a normal human being-" Evan begins.

"Not in social situations!" Johnny interrupts, because it's totally true. He's seen Evan interacting with human beings before and it's always been like a train wreck - a total mess and a total disaster, but impossible to look away from.

Evan continues, undeterred, "-what is your solution?"

"I'll have to come with you, of course," Johnny says, and Evan blinks at him. Johnny grins. "I never got to go to prom, after all."

***

The night of the prom Johnny barely manages to restrain Evan from taking a million pictures as Caleb and Olivia walk out the door. “Evan, you have fifteen shots already, and their smiles are slipping,” Johnny says, grabbing the camera from Evan’s hand. “Now let them go. They have to get pleasantly buzzed before heading off to the actual event.”

“They do not have to drink anything,” Evan says, pointedly looking in Caleb’s direction.

Johnny turns to them and surveys his handiwork. Caleb’s tie matches the colour of Olivia’s dress perfectly, and the corsage is a nice complement. “Go have fun, you two,” he says, and ushers them out the door. They’re taking an old Cadillac to prom instead of a limo, which Johnny appreciates for its originality, even if the colour of the car doesn’t quite match their outfits the way he’d like.

He watches them drive off and turns back to Evan, who’s looking a little verklempt. “It’s okay to cry,” Johnny says, hoping he sounds more empathetic than amused.

“Shut up,” Evan says. “Your bow tie is crooked.”

Johnny glances down sharply, trying to assess the levelness of his bow tie. “It is not.”

“It is too,” Evan says, and reaches up to adjust it slightly, fingers brushing against Johnny’s neck. “There,” he says, looking up at Johnny. “All better.”

“Thanks,” Johnny breathes, suddenly very aware of how close they are to one another. He reaches up and brushes some of Evan’s hair behind his ears, because Evan still has the stupidest haircuts even now. He means to say something cutting about Evan’s fashion sense, but instead he ends up cupping Evan’s cheek and just leaving his hand there for a moment before turning to grab the car keys. “Let’s go.”

***

Johnny and Evan watch from the sidelines, and Evan somehow manages to seem like he’s looming even from across the room. Olivia honestly looks a little terrified, but then Caleb leans in and whispers something in her ear and she’s laughing instead of shooting Evan frightened glances. Johnny grins; he has definitely taught the boy well.

“Go get me some punch,” Johnny orders, because the punch is about as far away from Caleb and Olivia’s table as it could possibly be.

“It’s probably spiked,” Evan says, glancing down at him.

“Well then you’re driving home tonight,” Johnny responds, flashing a smile. Evan sighs and lopes off to get some punch, and Johnny surveys the room. He watches as the kids bump and grind and remembers the countless ISU and USFSA banquets from the years. Johnny wonders if he would have traded any of that for this, for a normal childhood. He glances over at Evan, stopped over the punch bowl, and thinks, maybe not. Because though the years were hard and long and weird and complicated, he's grown accustomed to the way his life turned out and he's happy. Really happy.

“Here you go,” Evan says, and hands him a plastic cup full of some sickly pink liquid. Johnny takes a tentative sip and makes a face, earning a laugh from Evan. “Not the experience you always dreamed of?”

“I think maybe there are parts of prom that I can do without,” Johnny concedes, and leaves the punch sitting on a nearby table.

The kids start filtering out around eleven forty-five, Caleb among them. He walks over to where they’re standing, cheeks flushed pink, holding Olivia’s hand. “We’re going to a party at Mike’s house,” he says, and smiles at Olivia. “I’ll be home before two, though, I promise.”

Evan looks like he’s considering arguing the curfew, but Johnny just glares at him until he agrees. Olivia giggles and mumbles, “I see what you mean,” into Caleb’s shoulder.

Johnny says, “Do you pinky swear you’ll be home on time?” and smiles when Caleb links their pinkies, squeezing slightly. Johnny holds his pinky out to Olivia, too, and she laughs as she mimics the motion. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” he says cheerily, and Evan pales slightly.

“That is terrible advice!” Evan hisses, and Johnny grins at him unapologetically.

“They’ll be fine,” Johnny says. “Calm down.”

Evan and Johnny and the other chaperones are left to clean up while the DJ plays older music, from Johnny and Evan's teenaged years. Johnny vaguely wonders if he could incorporate a prom theme into an Ice Dreams show, because that would be kind of amazing. He’s throwing away empty cups when there’s a tap on his shoulder. He turns to find Evan standing there and raises his eyebrows. “What?”

Evan offers Johnny his hand. “Care to dance?”

“Are you serious?” Johnny asks, because there is no way that dancing in this high school gym with Evan Lysacek in the mess of streamers and plastic plates is going to be an enjoyable experience. No way at all.

“You never got to go to prom,” Evan explains, and Johnny bites his lip and glances around. None of the other chaperones are paying attention and they probably don’t care anyway, so Johnny takes Evan's hand and lets Evan pull him out onto the dance floor. Evan’s arms are warm around him as they sway together gently, completely ignoring the upbeat song that’s playing - and isn’t that just like Evan to ignore the music, Johnny thinks before settling his head on Evan’s shoulder.

“This is terribly romantic,” Johnny says as he steps over a leftover piece of cake. He means for it to come out sarcastic, but it sounds more sincere than anything else.

Evan just pulls him closer, smiling down at him. “It is, isn’t it?”

“Evan,” Johnny sighs, wanting to explain that the idea of prom is sort of silly, really, but then Evan stops swaying them and leans down to kiss Johnny, hand sliding up to curl at the back of his neck, and Johnny sighs into the kiss. Evan smells like that ridiculous cologne he insists on wearing and a little bit like the punch he may have spilled on himself earlier, but he kisses Johnny like he really means it. Johnny tangles his hands in Evan’s hair and pushes himself up on his toes to deepen the kiss.

There’s a pointed cough, and Johnny breaks away and settles back down on his feet, breathless.

“Sorry,” Evan says to the scandalized PTA mom, looking chagrined. “I think we’re done here.”

“I think so too,” she says, and Evan grabs Johnny’s hand and leads him out the door, both of them laughing. For a moment Johnny can pretend that this is the perfect prom he never got to have when he was younger. He can pretend that he’s eighteen again and wore a fabulous suit with a fabulous bowtie and fabulous shoes to his prom, and that he went with a boy - with Evan Lysacek, of all people - and that they had an excellent time.