Fic: No Title Necessary
Title: No Title Necessary
Author: nouveau_monday
Pairing: Luke/Noah
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 6.9k-ish
Summary: NOT AU because IT HAPPENED!
Spoilers: Haven't seen THE Jan 12th episode yet? Don't read this if you don't want to know.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything or anyone related to this show. If I did it would be very very different. CBS and P&G, Van, Jake, I'm a little jealous of you all for owning yourselves and this story.
Notes: I waited and waited on vh.net and here (maybe it showed up on the wiki, but i’m not there) and I saw only one person do this. But at that point I had already started, so, umm, yeah. This is what happened once the door locked. I promise. It is. They told me. Or, umm, something. So this is maybe PWP or maybe not, maybe there is purpose after all.
Dedication: Jbeanc, I couldn’t have done this without you. At all. Ever. Ridiculously so. My favoritest Barbara, your cheerleading makes all the difference in the world. ithilien22, as always, i love you.
Noah's full body shudders as he stands in the hallway, outside the door to Luke's room. This is new. This is different. This is emphatically not the farm. "Luke." His words stutter with too much pent up need combined with a heady amount of abject terror. He coughs. "What do you - ? I mean, is this - ? You want - ?"
Luke tugs Noah toward him, presses him into the dark, hard wood. "This is. I want. You. Me. Now." He unwinds his scarf, slips off his jacket, drops them on the floor outside his room. "Stop talking. Stop thinking. Just get naked now before we both change our minds, or die, or something." Wearing only his jeans and shirt, he grinds against Noah, even as he opens the door. "I'm ready. I'm so ready. Don't be scared" He pushes them inside and locks it with calculated enthusiasm.
Noah holds his breath, shakes his head left and right. He skims under Luke's shirt, warm skin against his cold fingers. Almost he lets himself get lost in the contrast of temperatures, but there are more important things. Luke's shirt. Removing Luke's shirt. Over his head, don't get stuck, don't catch him. Don't stare at his chest and forget what you're doing. Finesse, Mayer. Style. You've got some. Use it. "Do I seem scared to you now?" And god, he hopes he doesn't.
"No." Luke's cheeks flush pink as his shirt is lifted. Noah admires the disrepair of Luke's hair. He aches to mess it up more, needs to bruise that perfect mouth with more kisses, encourage forever that self-conscious smile. "Not really."
They're swaying into each other, not quite speaking the myriad of emotions between them, unsure of how to bridge the gap. Luke moves first. Nervous, shaking fingers slip Noah’s belt through his buckle. The sound is loud and distinct in the silence of the room. He slip buttons through denim, one after another, while he continues to stare at Noah.
Noah closes his eyes and inhales. He hates himself because he is a lying liar who lies, but he closes his hands over his ex-boyfriend's?, boyfriend's?, whatever, Luke's hands. He choses his words carefully. "We don't have to do anything." Did he really say that? Lust scorches under his skin, blackens his insides. He can’t stop there, can’t just leave the untruth between them. "I want. But we don't have to."
"Stop it."
The harshness of Luke's tone, even gasped out breathlessly, startles Noah's eyes open. "What?"
"Stop being the gentleman, the boy scout, the good guy. Love me, Noah. That's all I want. All I need. Love me." He crowds into Noah's space, slips his hands behind the now loose waist of his jeans and tugs Noah closer. "Kiss me."
Noah's groan is low in his throat, a whimper almost, and he knows it. He's dreamed about that request, pictured this moment a million times. And now? Oh god. Now it's happening. He's wearing too many clothes; his dick hurts it's so hard; they are in Luke's bedroom, with Luke's shirt off, and Luke wants him to kiss him. Kiss Luke? Hell, he's not sure he can remember how to breathe and he's supposed to ... That mouth. Noah swallows again. He bends to Luke's insistent tug and begins to mouth hot, wet kisses up his collarbone, across his jaw, to his stupidly perfect lips. Slightly chapped, but soft, and warm. Sweet like hot chocolate. Salty like ketchup. Noah laps along the seam, tongues his way inside. The heat, the slick inner walls and the smooth ridges of expensive orthodontistry. Noah loses himself in the slip side of Luke's tongue tangling with his own, and the heat of Luke's hands under his boxers, palming his ass, pulling him even closer.
He leans back to peel off his shirt, revels in skin on skin. This is further than they've gone since forever, since they started dating, since Noah nearly lost his mind falling against a wet and so happy Luke. They've barely gone swimming since that night, since Noah's world went careening out of control, only to right itself at the first touch of his lips against Luke's.
"Stop thinking."
Noah blushes. "I can't help it."
"I know. Forever the romantic, my Noah." Luke adjusts his grip.
His whole body seizes at the combined awareness of Luke's hand on his dick and the knowledge that he is, forever, Luke's. His heart beats faster. "God." He's going to come. Barely being touched, like when he first figured out what his dick was for. He bites his lip. "Yours."
"Mine." Luke's voice changes, gains confidence. "I need to see you, watch you." He licks across Noah's neck, sucks at his Adam's apple. He shoves at Noah's clothes, moves them both toward the bed.
Noah tumbles onto the comforter, gasps as he lands on his back. His arms reach instinctively for Luke, yanking him on top. "Together. Both of us. Now." He paws at any clothes in the way, his, Luke's, it doesn't matter. They need to be gone yesterday. They roll, shifting, and then there is golden hair, golden skin. He nearly drools at the sight of Luke next to him. He attacks Luke's mouth with his, crawls on top of him. His palms pin Luke's hips. The tornado alarms could have rang, an a-bomb may have dropped, Noah can't say. All he knows is the feel of his thighs on top of Luke's, the hair softer than expected against the back of his legs, while their dicks - god - they're touching. His eyes roll back in his head. "Luke."
"Noah." Luke's hand wrap around both of them. His callouses are yet another new layer of sensation, so different from Noah's own. The slick of pre-come, velvet skin and firm flesh. It was too much. "Noah, Noah. Can't. Oh god. Wanted this to last." Luke's movements lose rhythm. He thrusts into the weight of Noah on top.
Noah moves his hand to tangle his with Luke's around the two of them. His motions steady the pace for a moment before adding to the chaotic thrust, pull, thrust. "It's okay. Me too." He slumps forward, sucks bruises into Luke's neck. "Now." His balls tighten and he knows, just knows. "Can't wait, Luke. Please. Coming. Now. Now. Now." And he is, and it's amazing, and he's maybe going to die happy. Right. Now.
Their combined, too short, too necessary, too perfect orgasms spill between them. It is sticky and stronger than when it's just Noah jerking off alone. Tangier, sharper and his mind stalls on perfect and can't think of any other words. "Perfect," he whispers into Luke's neck. "Perfect," he prays to Luke's jaw. "So perfect," he praises Luke's lips as he spills kisses onto them.
"That's you."
"No. That's us."
*****
Luke isn't sure what to expect. Were the heavens supposed to open? Angels start singing? Is his hair a different color? He shivers. He can't quite feel his toes. Never in his life has he come so hard, so quickly. He skids his fingers between them, swirls circles in the sticky fluid on his chest. "We did it."
Noah grins. He scoops his arms under Luke's back and rolls the two of them until he's on the bottom. "We did."
"No." Luke catches his lower lip on his teeth. "I don't mean that. I mean." He hesitates, doesn't want to spoil the moment. "Not only we, but me. It's dumb, but I don't know, I thought maybe I would feel different. And then I thought that was stupid. But it wasn't. I do feel different." He draws his hand to his face, laps gently at their combined come even as realization dawns on him. "My parents are going to know."
"Not if you don't tell them." Noah reaches for Luke's fingers, traces them with his tongue. "I like the way we taste. I wasn't sure if I would. I never did. Not with -."
"Not with a girl?"
Noah nods. "Not with a girl." He pets Luke's back, pulls him closer. "So much better," he whispers. "What I never knew I needed until you. Only you. Forever you."
Luke's heart heals a crack he didn't know was there at Noah's words. His fear of being less than, of being bad are slowly put to rest, but others still buzz in his mind. He nuzzles into the warmth of his boyfriend's neck. "We lost so much time. We were so stupid. Can we not do this again? Please. Stay with me. I'm so sorry." His breath moistens fragile skin, but he's almost panicking when he thinks about it, remembers what he did. "I didn't mean to do it. I was so lost. And so scared. And you were so strong. You didn't need me, didn't want me. I couldn't handle it. Don't leave me again."
"It wasn't you. Never you. It was me. I should have listened, should have understood, should have done something." Noah kisses at Luke's shoulders, his jaw, his cheeks, his forehead. "I'm so lucky you took me back. So fortunate. I don't know why you would, why you keep forgiving me, but you do. And I don't know how to tell you I'm sorry for every time I screw up. I don't mean to, but I just, I'm such a screw up, and I don't want you to have to deal with it." His laughter is choked, thick with something that Luke doesn't understand until he sees the tears in the corner of Noah's eyes. "Can we not have this conversation now? Can we accept that we both messed up, rehash it later and move on to whatever comes next?"
Luke arches an eyebrow, relieved by the emotional reprieve. "What comes next? Didn't we just do that? Mayer, are you ready for round two?"
"Rounds two, three, four, five and on through twelve million. I want to do everything with you. Everything you want. I want to keep the door locked until we've tried it all. Twice." Noah hesitates. "That is, I mean, if that's what you want."
Luke smothers him in kisses, ignores the tightening of their stuck-together-skin. "It is. You have no idea. A million times over. I want to do everything. Anything. I have a list."
Noah's laugh - large, round, free - is the best sound Luke thinks he's ever heard. "A list? I thought I was the boy scout?"
"But you weren't a virgin." Luke rolls his eyes. Sometimes Noah is ridiculously obtuse. "You didn't have eighteen years of wondering if you were every going to date someone and then months when you weren't sure if you were ever going to be able to have sex. And then once everything was, you know, working, you didn't spend the next year wondering if your boyfriend even wanted you in that way." His frustration almost gets the better of him. He catches himself at the wide-eyed confusion present on his boyfriend's face. "Sorry. I don't exactly know where that came from, what the big deal is."
Noah reaches to tuck away stray blonde hairs. "Maybe because it is a big deal?" His goofy smile eases the tightness in Luke's chest. He continues before Luke can speak. "We've been waiting a long time. A really long time. And just because I wasn't a virgin, it doesn't mean this wasn't the most important and most real experience of my life. I've got a list of my own, Snyder. Some of it from when you were still in the wheelchair."
Luke boggles but recovers. "Kinky, Mayer. You? Who knew?"
Noah runs his finger over Luke's lips, down his jaw, splays a hand across his chest. "You knew. You had to know. Why did you think I'd pull away during your PT?" His blush is cherry dark on his pale skin. "You regained feeling, you know, there. And I wanted." He shifts his head, stares anywhere but at Luke.
"You wanted?"
"God, I wanted everything. Wanted to be able to take you away from it all. I wanted to make you feel so good you'd forget that it was my fault you were in that chair to begin with."
"Noah," Luke's heart breaks at the shame still raw over a year later. "It was never your fault."
"Yeah, no. Luke, it was. I was an idiot to think he'd change. But you were irresistible, are irresistible. A force of nature I'd have been a fool to deny. When you," he closes his eyes. Luke stifles the urge to pet the sweep of Noah's eyelashes. "When you let me kiss you, help you, love you ... I've never been so lucky, so cherished in my entire life. I wanted to share that feeling with you."
His pulse zips under his skin like fireflies in the spring. "How?" He breathes. "Share how?" Luke is getting hard again from the combination of that low, earnest voice and a warm hand petting his back.
Noah tugs them into a sitting position, winces as their bodies peel apart. "Let me. Let me show you. Let me try." He lays Luke down. "Comfortable?" But he doesn't wait for the response. He wedges himself between Luke's spread legs and sucks a kiss to his sternum. He trails his tongue through their combined release, tickles Luke's navel and grazes his happy trail with his teeth. "This okay?" He pauses, waits, then nips at the soft indent where leg becomes hip. "Lost your words?"
Words? What words. Words are long gone. He manages to nod vehemently as his hands scrabble on Noah's shoulders for purchase. "Uh huh." His nerves sizzle. Fireworks explode behind his eyelids with how tight he screws them shut. "You don't have to do this."
"I want to." Noah's mouth hovers over Luke's dick. He doesn't move for a moment, doesn't even appear to breathe. Just hovers. And he is killing Luke.
"You cannot stay there." He opens one eye, peers down at Noah, and is faced with perhaps the hottest sight ever. And he almost missed it! His hair is a mess. His cheeks are flush. His breath is coming in these adorable little mini-puffs of air and Noah is just watching his dick like he's trying to memorize it, like he thinks it's beautiful. Luke feels the burn coursing through him. His arms flail. "Can you just, Noah, move!"
*****
Noah sticks out his tongue and traces it over the vein of Luke's dick. His brain isn't fully computing his actions but his body is fully with the program. Somewhere between salty and bitter, soft and hard, the taste and feel on his tongue is incredible. He flattens his tongue, applies more direct pressure. His hand, God, what if he hurts him, wraps so carefully around the shaft. It isn't his own. It's maybe thicker, maybe softer, definitely perfect. It is the only dick that isn't his own that Noah's ever touched and he never wants to know another one. Ever. He whimpers a little as he realizes what he's doing. His mouth stretches, jaw opens and then he's got Luke inside him, inside his mouth, and it's, beyond perfect, beyond wonderful. He presses forward, chokes on Luke's forward thrust.
"Sorry. Sorry. Couldn't help it. Your mouth. Noah. Your mouth on me. You." He flops back, nudging his dick further again. "Oh god. Sorry." He chews on his fist.
Noah pulls back enough to grin. "Stop apologizing. I'm just gonna." He frowns, rakes his eyes over Luke's body, and shrugs. How can he do this? "I'm just gonna have to hold you down." He spreads his hands, cups his palms on Luke's sides, pins them to the bed. "This okay if I do this?" He blows cool air over Luke's unflagging erection, appreciates the twitches he can create. "Huh. Seems okay."
"So very okay." Luke's voice breaks. "So good."
Noah sucks at the crown, swirls his tongue, presses against the slit. His hands are full of warm, wriggling Luke. His body hums with need and strength. The revelation of having someone want him, trust him, let him do this. It's like nothing else. He bends further, sucks harder, tries to push past his own gag reflex to take moremoremore. Luke's noises turn to little more than mewling and he's jerking up past Noah's grip.
"Close. Really close."
Noah pulls back, not off because that would would be rude, but back. In all his thoughts, planning, his list, he hadn't gotten to this part, to what Really close implied. He stares at Luke's chest heave. His lip bruised from biting. His hands have moved to white knuckle the frame behind him. So beautiful. This gorgeous man falling apart below him, and suddenly Really close is nowhere near enough. It can be messy. It can be sloppy. He doesn't care as long as it ends in Luke's come down his throat. He slurps and licks, sucks and bobs. His boyfriend's sounds encourage him further and deeper and he doesn't know what the magic combination is but there is warmth spurting inside his mouth and Luke's fingernails biting at his scalp. He swallows through Luke's orgasm, sucks at the softening flesh until Luke pushes him away with a whimper.
"Here, Noah. Need you up here." He scurries up to press himself close to Luke. Luke whose voice is clogged with emotion. "You. Can't believe you. Love you so much." Luke pets at Noah's hair. Noah listens to the loud, fast beat of Luke's heart.
"Love you too."
Luke's hand reaches down awkwardly, and Noah recognizes his intention. He kisses Luke's chest, tangles their fingers. "I'm good."
"But you? You just. And I." Luke blinks. "You don't want me to?"
Noah flushes. "No. God. Nothing like that. It's just." He inhales, slides their entwined hands down to his dick. "I kinda, sorta came when you did. So, uhh, yeah. I'm good." He rushes ahead. "If you want to, some other time. I'm not going to say no. Because, blow jobs? That's a no brainer. But not going to happen now." He turns away to yawn. "Now, I maybe want to clean up a bit and sleep? Would that be? Is that okay?"
Luke's smile is bigger than Noah has seen in forever. His eyes are finally clear of alcohol, sadness or doubt. "That would be wonderful." He pulls Noah close. "Let me hold you for a minute before we find a washcloth. Need you next to me." Luke shifts them, spoons around Noah, places his hands on his heart. "Thank you. I don't know what I expected to feel, if I would feel anything. But this? This was everything." He whispers into Noah's ear.
It is Luke's even breath that lulls Noah to sleep in his arms.
*****
They slept. How long, he has no idea. The warm lassitude that comes with quality cat naps and, apparently, non-self-induced orgasms weighs on his muscles. Luke's smile threatens to split his face as he pulls his arms tighter around Noah. Noah's back pressed to his front. He is tucked under Luke's duvet. His cheeks are sleep creased. His hair is a mess. Probably from me pulling it. Somehow he has never looked more wonderful.
Noah shifts in response to Luke's hug. Their legs tangle. Their bodies rub. After two spectacular orgasms, Luke would have thought his body could control itself. Looks like round three is coming up. Luke bites back his laughter. Pun not intended. He kisses behind Noah's ear, across the nape of his neck. Luke didn't know shoulders could turn him on, but Noah's? His entire body tightens, seeks a warm place to bury.
"We fell asleep."
"Yeah." Luke licks the clinging sweat from where Noah's neck meets his spine. "But I don't think for very long."
"That tickles." Noah tugs Luke more fully around him. "Do it again," he says so quietly Luke wouldn't be sure he heard him if he hadn't been listening for every sound.
Noah kisses Luke's fingertips, his palm, scrapes his teeth over the softening callouses. "We should get cleaned up. Someone will be home soon."
Home. The word thrills Luke, even as he tries to reason with himself that Noah doesn't mean he's moving in. "I don't really care."
"Luke, you do. Your grandmother? Your parents? Do you want to explain us to them?"
"I think they know what we do, Noah."
"But we hadn't, not until today. We can tell people later." Noah turns to face Luke. "I'll hire a sky writer. 'Luke Snyder rocks my world' in big puffy clouds over Oakdale." He kisses Luke's nose. "But I'd like to have this just be ours today. Is that wrong? You were so horrified at the thought of your parents knowing."
"I might take you up on the sky writing, but no. It's not wrong. I didn't do this for anyone but us." Us. "There is an us, right? This wasn't some weird way for you to break up with me, right?" There's a rock sitting in his stomach. Sweat dampens the back of his knees.
Noah jerks away from Luke. "No! God. No! How could you - ? Why would I - ? What kind of person do you think I am?" He covers his mouth. His eyes are wide. "I have never wanted to be with anyone as much as I want to be with you. Ever. I would never have done what we did, what I did. Never."
"I know." He watches the doubt on Noah's face. "No, really. I do. I know that. I panicked. I'm sorry. I'm a little messed up." He runs his hands over his hair. "More than a little screwed up. And I screwed us up by being stupid and insecure. I blurt things out, just to hear them out loud. Not because I think that's what really is going on." His arms reach out, pull his boyfriend near. "You looked at me, touched me, with such, such love and sometimes I can't imagine that I deserve it." Luke grabs Noah. "Come here." He peppers kisses across Noah’s jaw until it loosens. “Sorry. Love you. Love you so much.”
Noah melts against him, squeezes close. “I get it. It’s not as if I don’t say things I don’t mean. Just, no, Luke, y’know? I would never do that. Sex isn’t ... It isn’t. And this was.”
“I know.” The moment has passed. Everything is fine, will be. They are back to speaking in half sentences that make perfect sense. “We should get cleaned up. Don’t you think? I’m not sure I want to ever leave my bed again. But we should.”
“Probably.” Noah’s eyes search the room. “Do you have a towel? or something I can put on? I don’t want to sneak down the hall in my clothes. I have to wear them until I get back to the dorms.”
Luke blinks. The hall? Oh. Oh! “No sneaking necessary. Bathroom’s through that door.” He points behind him and to the right. “Over there. I can give you the tour once we’re clean.” He bites Noah’s shoulder. “Come shower with me?”
“Of course.” Noah kisses him, slow and sweet. There is promise in the shared breath, lips on lips. “I wish we could stay here forever.”
“Me too.” Luke shoves at the covers, pries himself from their cocoon. “But I like the idea of getting you all wet. Some of my better dreams start there.”
Noah stretches, stands up, arranges Luke’s arms around him. “Mine too.”
“Wait here. Let me get the shower going.” Luke dashes into his bathroom, does a once over. Housekeeping came through so there are no clothes anywhere, no weird toothpaste blobs or anything. He turns on the water, lets it get steamy, adjusts the spray. Luke glances at the shower gels, the shampoos and conditioners. Noah teased him about all his product when they were at the farm, so it shouldn’t be a surprise. He smirks. Luke reaches for the bottle he keeps tucked beneath the sink. “Water’s ready. Just grabbing towels.” He drops extra on the towel rack. Extra! Because Noah is about to get into the shower with him. Because he is about to share the shower with someone. He cannot believe that a day that started the way his had is ending like this. “You coming?”
“I’m here.” He kisses Luke’s neck. “I think I’ve lived in houses on base that were smaller than this.” He reaches around him for the shower door, slides it open. “Definitely yours. How many types of stuff do you need?”
“Shut up, Mayer. You’ll love it. Promise. Now get in!” He shoves them both forward, cops a gratuitous feel because he can, and shuts the door behind them. Warm. Wet. Naked. Rivulets of water fall across Noah’s shoulder blades, meander over his spine, over his ass. This is Luke’s dreams come to true. Well, almost. “I’ll wash your back, if you’ll wash mine?”
Noah pushes dark, wet curls from his face, faces Luke. “You first?”
“No. I want to check something off my list.” He smiles.
“Me going down on you wasn’t on your list?”
Luke laughs, kisses the wrinkle on Noah’s forehead. “It was. Trust me, it was.” He pours shower gel on his hand. “This okay? Not too strong?” He rubs over Noah’s nipples, appreciates the gasp he conjures up. He washes across his abdomen, slips further down. His hand cups Noah’s dick, strokes it. “Do you want to know what’s on my list, or should I show you?”
Noah reaches out to hold onto Luke. “Show me.”
“I was hoping you’d say that.” Luke sidesteps Noah. He angles the spray, pulls Noah back. “First, let’s rinse you off.” He rocks forward, wipes away the soap, can’t help but reach around and stroke his thumb over Noah’s sac. Luke bites Noah’s earlobe. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”
“What did you have in mind?” Noah presses backward, slides his ass over Luke’s dick.
Luke bites his lip. “I wanna, wanna,” he breathes deep.
Noah leans his head on Luke’s shoulder. “I want you to.” Their eyes meet. Nothing but trust, and something more.
“You want me to?”
“Yeah, Luke.”
“And you? You understand what I’m asking?”
Noah nods slowly. Pink seers his cheeks. “You. Inside. Me. Right?”
“Yes.” He fumbles for the bottle of lube. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t. How? How do you want me?”
Luke slicks his fingers. “I don’t know?” He laps at Noah’s neck. “Put your arms against the wall? Head on your hands? I guess?” His dick throbs when Noah willingly obliges his instructions. To heck with shoulders. Noah’s ass is a work of art. Luke inhales. “Gonna, gonna touch you now.”
Noah’s voice is so low that it’s barely discernible over the water in the shower. “Love you.”
Luke palms Noah’s ass with his non-lubed hand. He feels clumsy and awkward as he runs his fingers over Noah’s balls and back, circling but not pressing where he thinks he should be. He wishes he had read a manual.
“I won’t break. Promise.”
“I know that. In theory.” He rims Noah with his fingers, pushes past initial resistance with the tip of his finger. Luke watches, and feels, as Noah tightens. “Breathe. You have to breathe.” He pulls out, pushes back in a little further, still only one finger. “We can stop.”
“No. I want this. I want you. It’s just different when it’s you.” Noah rocks his hips gently.
“When it’s me?” Luke removes his fingers, takes a step back. “You’ve done this with someone else?”
Noah’s blush coats his whole body, toes to scalp. He stares into the fiberglass wall in front of him. “Not with someone else. But maybe, I, you know, tried myself to see what it would feel like, if you and I ever got here.”
“Oh.” Oh.
“Yeah.”
Luke is on his boyfriend in an instant. “Want you so bad. Need you so much.” All fear is gone, burned off in a haze of desire. He listens to Noah, watches for signs of pain. He sees nothing of the sort. It’s all more and need you and LukeLukeLuke. He’s never heard Noah sound more ravaged, more desperate, more hot.
Luke isn’t sure he won’t come on the spot. One finger, two, even three. How is it possible that Noah won’t break him? Or he won’t break Noah. Luke doesn’t want to sound egotistical, but his dick? Longer than his freaking fingers. He’s willing himself not to freak out. He’s got a gorgeous man chewing on his own fist to stay somewhat quiet. Lube is sliding over his wrist and down Noah’s thighs because they didn’t know how much to use. This is it. Really it. Even more it than it was when they jacked off, even more it than Noah’s awesome blow job. He pauses. One hand wrapped around Noah’s stomach. The other occupied in stretching him open. “Don’t kill me.”
“Then why did you stop?”
“I left the rubbers by my bed. Didn’t exactly see my first time happening in a shower.” He shivers at the loss of heat and closeness as he pulls out. “I’ll be right back.”
Noah grabs Luke’s wrist. “If you step out of this shower, I am jerking off, leaving here, and never coming back. Ever.”
Luke pauses. “I’ll just be a sec -”
“I am not kidding. You’re clean. I’m clean. Slick up and get back here or I’m doing this solo.”
“You wouldn’t.” Luke thinks his eyes might pop out of his head.
“Try me.” Noah spins, yanking Luke against him. He puts the lube in his hand. “In me, Luke. Where you belong.”
“So you want me -?” Luke stares down at their dicks. He’s seen porn. He has. He’s a guy, after all, with high speed cable access, a laptop and two working hands. But he’s never seen a sight as mouth watering, as breath stealing, as terrifying as the one in front of him. Noah’s dick is hard, glistening, and currently nestled in Noah’s hand. This seems wrong. Luke covers his boyfriend’s hand in his.
“I want you.” Noah’s words are so simple, so matter of fact. They cut through everything from Luke’s unintentional delay to the vestiges of fear clinging to him. Noah holds Luke’s hand, slips it below his dick, behind his balls. “We’re ready.” He hitches his leg around Luke, tugs him closer.
Luke chokes a little. The closeness and heat off Noah’s body is mind numbing, but the angle, the angle is all wrong. “Never gonna work like this. You gotta turn around.”
Noah closes his eyes, releases his grip and turns. He crosses his arms in front of his head, rests his forehead in his hand, and waits.
Spine stretched. Legs firmly planted. Noah’s thighs shaking are the only give away of anything other than confidence. Luke rolls his eyes. He’s an idiot. If Noah can be sure, then he can too. And being sure will lead to his dick in Noah and more orgasms. Mutual orgasms. Mutual orgasms while buried in Noah. Really what wasn’t there to like in that plan? He could do this.
Luke leaned forward, lined the front of his legs up with the back of Noah’s. He coats himself in a generous amount of slick. He hopes he doesn’t come before he’s even inside. It’s an embarrassing but all too real fear if the smooth heat he’s about to enter is anything to go by. “Ready?”
“Since I met you.”
He swallows. Twice. “Love you.” He guides himself into Noah. inside his boyfriend. “Oh god.” Luke bites on Noah’s shoulder to stifle his urgency.
“Oh god.” Noah’s palm is in his mouth and he’s biting down hard enough to whiten the flesh. His breath is quick and shallow. “Luke.”
Luke sucks on the skin he bruises, swipes his tongue across the sting. He rests his forearm on the wall aside Noah, and his forehead against his back. Every fiber of his being screams at him, but he can’t move yet, can’t risk it. His balls tighten. “Nnngh.”
“You gotta move. I’m gonna, god, gonna die if you don’t.” One of Noah’s hands slaps against the backsplash. The other clings to the small of Luke’s back.
Luke edges back, careful to not pull out entirely. That would be bad. He slides forward and back, tries to find a rhythm that won’t have him shooting off before they’re both ready. He cranes his head to meet Noah and freezes. “Am I hurting you? Are you? Noah, you’re supposed to say something if it hurts.”
He shakes his head, sniffles. “It doesn’t hurt.”
Luke wipes at Noah’s eyes. “Then why?”
Noah shakes his head again. “Just. Stay with me. Please. Move. I’m so close. Really close.”
Even with momentum lost, Luke listens to Noah’s words. He steadies himself, matches his thrusts to his pounding heart rate. “I gotcha. I gotcha.” He pauses at Noah’s watery praise, So good to me, Luke, you’re too good to me before picking up speed.
Noah’s arm drifts to Luke’s, twines their fingers together. “Touch me. Please, Luke. Need you to touch me.” They find a counterpoint to the snap of Luke’s hips, both of them stretching tighter and tighter. Noah’s hand releases to claw at the wall. His head rocks back against Luke’s. “Right there.”
“Me too. God, me too.” And he is, and they are, and it’s everything. Luke is coming harder than he thought possible, especially on the third go round. His boyfriend shaking, fall apart around him is too much. It’s beautiful and earth shattering all at once and made complete by the feel of Noah coming into his hand and the sound of his laughter ringing out.
Long moments later, once they can both figure out where each of them ends and the other begins, Luke starts to step back.
“Wait.”
Luke hesitates. His dick is overly sensitive and he really can’t wait, but Noah’s spun through a whole range of emotions, and he’s not sure what’s about to happen.
“Love the way you feel inside me. I never thought I’d be this close to anyone. I don’t want to say things in the heat of the moment that I wouldn’t say any other time. So can you wait, stay, a moment longer, for me.”
“Forever.” Luke nuzzles at Noah’s neck. “You’re the romantic one. I always knew it. It’s all those old movies. They make you a sap. They made you my sap.”
Noah’s grin is blinding. “Thank you.”
Luke eases out this time for real. “We should clean up for real this time. Without that being a euphemism for more sex. I think. Not that I don’t want more sex, umm, because I do. But I don’t know that even I could take it right now. I might die. And that would suck.”
Noah stays leaning against the wall. “At least you won’t die a virgin.”
Luke splashes water at him. “Jerk.” He adds shower gel to his hands and begins to clean Noah. His fingers brush over Noah’s hole, still sticky with lube and now with come. He almost suggests another round, but isn’t sure he wouldn’t have a stroke. “I won’t, though. Will I? I’m no longer Oakdale’s Oldest Living Virgin.” Finally.
Noah takes the gel and bathes Luke. “Not any more.” He places a perfunctory kiss on Luke’s mouth. “Now you’re my Luke, no titles necessary.” He can’t quite hide the awkwardness of his stance. “I’m clean now. I’ll give you a couple minutes to finish up.” He kisses Luke again, the quickest hint of tongue on tongue. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m fine. More than fine.”
Luke watches Noah open the door to the shower, admires how gorgeous he looks naked. Way better than anything his spank bank might have come up with. He wants to write and laugh and curl up and never leave the room again. His fingers itch for his laptop to try and document a tenth of the emotion swirling inside him. Luke makes do with washing his hair and giving Noah a few minutes to center himself.
*****
Noah touches his hand to his face. He wonders if his lip could split from smiling. He towels off carefully. Parts of him sore that he never really contemplated getting sore, but with that great dull ache that comes with doing something right. He gets at least partially dressed before he tries to talk Luke into trying again, on the bed, where they can lie down, and face each other, and Luke can pound him into the mattress. He chews on the inside of his cheek. His body misses that closeness already.
Lost in the locking of doors and the kissing and then the shirtlessness of it all, Noah hadn’t had a chance to see Luke’s room. He looks his fill while he towels off his hair. There is a cork board on the wall with awards and pictures. He zeroes in on a picture of Luke from high school. He is young, and happy, and dorky. Noah sees the boy that will become his Luke.
“Is this really you?” He waves the picture at Luke.
“Don’t look at that. Yes. Give it to me.”
Noah admires Luke’s chest, still damp. He wants to mark it with hickeys and maybe a tattoo that says “Property of Noah Mayer.” He focuses on the photo to stop his possessive streak. “What’s with this shirt?”
“I was a nerd? Come on. Gimme that.” Luke comes closer in an attempt to get the picture, but stops. He winds his hands through Noah’s hair, plays with the curls.
Luke’s smile is similar to the one in the photo and stops Noah’s heart with beauty he cannot describe. “You know? I’m really glad we waited.”
“Why? ‘Cause I don’t look like that anymore?”
Noah knows his words are never going to be Luke’s. They’ll never flow as smoothly, but he hopes he makes sense. “No. I know we did wait. For a long time. But ... it was worth it. Are you happy?”
“Happy doesn’t even begin to cover it.”
Their kiss is wonderful, but different. They will never go back to where they were, what they were, and for a moment that awareness arcs through Noah with something sharp and bittersweet. What they are is so much more now. Luke’s right. Happy doesn’t even begin to cover it. He inhales the scent of Luke’s shampoo, takes in the comfort he always associates with it, lets himself sink into the reality of the day, and Luke and him. “Perfect,” he whispers to his boyfriend’s temple. “Love you.”
Author: nouveau_monday
Pairing: Luke/Noah
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 6.9k-ish
Summary: NOT AU because IT HAPPENED!
Spoilers: Haven't seen THE Jan 12th episode yet? Don't read this if you don't want to know.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything or anyone related to this show. If I did it would be very very different. CBS and P&G, Van, Jake, I'm a little jealous of you all for owning yourselves and this story.
Notes: I waited and waited on vh.net and here (maybe it showed up on the wiki, but i’m not there) and I saw only one person do this. But at that point I had already started, so, umm, yeah. This is what happened once the door locked. I promise. It is. They told me. Or, umm, something. So this is maybe PWP or maybe not, maybe there is purpose after all.
Dedication: Jbeanc, I couldn’t have done this without you. At all. Ever. Ridiculously so. My favoritest Barbara, your cheerleading makes all the difference in the world. ithilien22, as always, i love you.
Noah's full body shudders as he stands in the hallway, outside the door to Luke's room. This is new. This is different. This is emphatically not the farm. "Luke." His words stutter with too much pent up need combined with a heady amount of abject terror. He coughs. "What do you - ? I mean, is this - ? You want - ?"
Luke tugs Noah toward him, presses him into the dark, hard wood. "This is. I want. You. Me. Now." He unwinds his scarf, slips off his jacket, drops them on the floor outside his room. "Stop talking. Stop thinking. Just get naked now before we both change our minds, or die, or something." Wearing only his jeans and shirt, he grinds against Noah, even as he opens the door. "I'm ready. I'm so ready. Don't be scared" He pushes them inside and locks it with calculated enthusiasm.
Noah holds his breath, shakes his head left and right. He skims under Luke's shirt, warm skin against his cold fingers. Almost he lets himself get lost in the contrast of temperatures, but there are more important things. Luke's shirt. Removing Luke's shirt. Over his head, don't get stuck, don't catch him. Don't stare at his chest and forget what you're doing. Finesse, Mayer. Style. You've got some. Use it. "Do I seem scared to you now?" And god, he hopes he doesn't.
"No." Luke's cheeks flush pink as his shirt is lifted. Noah admires the disrepair of Luke's hair. He aches to mess it up more, needs to bruise that perfect mouth with more kisses, encourage forever that self-conscious smile. "Not really."
They're swaying into each other, not quite speaking the myriad of emotions between them, unsure of how to bridge the gap. Luke moves first. Nervous, shaking fingers slip Noah’s belt through his buckle. The sound is loud and distinct in the silence of the room. He slip buttons through denim, one after another, while he continues to stare at Noah.
Noah closes his eyes and inhales. He hates himself because he is a lying liar who lies, but he closes his hands over his ex-boyfriend's?, boyfriend's?, whatever, Luke's hands. He choses his words carefully. "We don't have to do anything." Did he really say that? Lust scorches under his skin, blackens his insides. He can’t stop there, can’t just leave the untruth between them. "I want. But we don't have to."
"Stop it."
The harshness of Luke's tone, even gasped out breathlessly, startles Noah's eyes open. "What?"
"Stop being the gentleman, the boy scout, the good guy. Love me, Noah. That's all I want. All I need. Love me." He crowds into Noah's space, slips his hands behind the now loose waist of his jeans and tugs Noah closer. "Kiss me."
Noah's groan is low in his throat, a whimper almost, and he knows it. He's dreamed about that request, pictured this moment a million times. And now? Oh god. Now it's happening. He's wearing too many clothes; his dick hurts it's so hard; they are in Luke's bedroom, with Luke's shirt off, and Luke wants him to kiss him. Kiss Luke? Hell, he's not sure he can remember how to breathe and he's supposed to ... That mouth. Noah swallows again. He bends to Luke's insistent tug and begins to mouth hot, wet kisses up his collarbone, across his jaw, to his stupidly perfect lips. Slightly chapped, but soft, and warm. Sweet like hot chocolate. Salty like ketchup. Noah laps along the seam, tongues his way inside. The heat, the slick inner walls and the smooth ridges of expensive orthodontistry. Noah loses himself in the slip side of Luke's tongue tangling with his own, and the heat of Luke's hands under his boxers, palming his ass, pulling him even closer.
He leans back to peel off his shirt, revels in skin on skin. This is further than they've gone since forever, since they started dating, since Noah nearly lost his mind falling against a wet and so happy Luke. They've barely gone swimming since that night, since Noah's world went careening out of control, only to right itself at the first touch of his lips against Luke's.
"Stop thinking."
Noah blushes. "I can't help it."
"I know. Forever the romantic, my Noah." Luke adjusts his grip.
His whole body seizes at the combined awareness of Luke's hand on his dick and the knowledge that he is, forever, Luke's. His heart beats faster. "God." He's going to come. Barely being touched, like when he first figured out what his dick was for. He bites his lip. "Yours."
"Mine." Luke's voice changes, gains confidence. "I need to see you, watch you." He licks across Noah's neck, sucks at his Adam's apple. He shoves at Noah's clothes, moves them both toward the bed.
Noah tumbles onto the comforter, gasps as he lands on his back. His arms reach instinctively for Luke, yanking him on top. "Together. Both of us. Now." He paws at any clothes in the way, his, Luke's, it doesn't matter. They need to be gone yesterday. They roll, shifting, and then there is golden hair, golden skin. He nearly drools at the sight of Luke next to him. He attacks Luke's mouth with his, crawls on top of him. His palms pin Luke's hips. The tornado alarms could have rang, an a-bomb may have dropped, Noah can't say. All he knows is the feel of his thighs on top of Luke's, the hair softer than expected against the back of his legs, while their dicks - god - they're touching. His eyes roll back in his head. "Luke."
"Noah." Luke's hand wrap around both of them. His callouses are yet another new layer of sensation, so different from Noah's own. The slick of pre-come, velvet skin and firm flesh. It was too much. "Noah, Noah. Can't. Oh god. Wanted this to last." Luke's movements lose rhythm. He thrusts into the weight of Noah on top.
Noah moves his hand to tangle his with Luke's around the two of them. His motions steady the pace for a moment before adding to the chaotic thrust, pull, thrust. "It's okay. Me too." He slumps forward, sucks bruises into Luke's neck. "Now." His balls tighten and he knows, just knows. "Can't wait, Luke. Please. Coming. Now. Now. Now." And he is, and it's amazing, and he's maybe going to die happy. Right. Now.
Their combined, too short, too necessary, too perfect orgasms spill between them. It is sticky and stronger than when it's just Noah jerking off alone. Tangier, sharper and his mind stalls on perfect and can't think of any other words. "Perfect," he whispers into Luke's neck. "Perfect," he prays to Luke's jaw. "So perfect," he praises Luke's lips as he spills kisses onto them.
"That's you."
"No. That's us."
*****
Luke isn't sure what to expect. Were the heavens supposed to open? Angels start singing? Is his hair a different color? He shivers. He can't quite feel his toes. Never in his life has he come so hard, so quickly. He skids his fingers between them, swirls circles in the sticky fluid on his chest. "We did it."
Noah grins. He scoops his arms under Luke's back and rolls the two of them until he's on the bottom. "We did."
"No." Luke catches his lower lip on his teeth. "I don't mean that. I mean." He hesitates, doesn't want to spoil the moment. "Not only we, but me. It's dumb, but I don't know, I thought maybe I would feel different. And then I thought that was stupid. But it wasn't. I do feel different." He draws his hand to his face, laps gently at their combined come even as realization dawns on him. "My parents are going to know."
"Not if you don't tell them." Noah reaches for Luke's fingers, traces them with his tongue. "I like the way we taste. I wasn't sure if I would. I never did. Not with -."
"Not with a girl?"
Noah nods. "Not with a girl." He pets Luke's back, pulls him closer. "So much better," he whispers. "What I never knew I needed until you. Only you. Forever you."
Luke's heart heals a crack he didn't know was there at Noah's words. His fear of being less than, of being bad are slowly put to rest, but others still buzz in his mind. He nuzzles into the warmth of his boyfriend's neck. "We lost so much time. We were so stupid. Can we not do this again? Please. Stay with me. I'm so sorry." His breath moistens fragile skin, but he's almost panicking when he thinks about it, remembers what he did. "I didn't mean to do it. I was so lost. And so scared. And you were so strong. You didn't need me, didn't want me. I couldn't handle it. Don't leave me again."
"It wasn't you. Never you. It was me. I should have listened, should have understood, should have done something." Noah kisses at Luke's shoulders, his jaw, his cheeks, his forehead. "I'm so lucky you took me back. So fortunate. I don't know why you would, why you keep forgiving me, but you do. And I don't know how to tell you I'm sorry for every time I screw up. I don't mean to, but I just, I'm such a screw up, and I don't want you to have to deal with it." His laughter is choked, thick with something that Luke doesn't understand until he sees the tears in the corner of Noah's eyes. "Can we not have this conversation now? Can we accept that we both messed up, rehash it later and move on to whatever comes next?"
Luke arches an eyebrow, relieved by the emotional reprieve. "What comes next? Didn't we just do that? Mayer, are you ready for round two?"
"Rounds two, three, four, five and on through twelve million. I want to do everything with you. Everything you want. I want to keep the door locked until we've tried it all. Twice." Noah hesitates. "That is, I mean, if that's what you want."
Luke smothers him in kisses, ignores the tightening of their stuck-together-skin. "It is. You have no idea. A million times over. I want to do everything. Anything. I have a list."
Noah's laugh - large, round, free - is the best sound Luke thinks he's ever heard. "A list? I thought I was the boy scout?"
"But you weren't a virgin." Luke rolls his eyes. Sometimes Noah is ridiculously obtuse. "You didn't have eighteen years of wondering if you were every going to date someone and then months when you weren't sure if you were ever going to be able to have sex. And then once everything was, you know, working, you didn't spend the next year wondering if your boyfriend even wanted you in that way." His frustration almost gets the better of him. He catches himself at the wide-eyed confusion present on his boyfriend's face. "Sorry. I don't exactly know where that came from, what the big deal is."
Noah reaches to tuck away stray blonde hairs. "Maybe because it is a big deal?" His goofy smile eases the tightness in Luke's chest. He continues before Luke can speak. "We've been waiting a long time. A really long time. And just because I wasn't a virgin, it doesn't mean this wasn't the most important and most real experience of my life. I've got a list of my own, Snyder. Some of it from when you were still in the wheelchair."
Luke boggles but recovers. "Kinky, Mayer. You? Who knew?"
Noah runs his finger over Luke's lips, down his jaw, splays a hand across his chest. "You knew. You had to know. Why did you think I'd pull away during your PT?" His blush is cherry dark on his pale skin. "You regained feeling, you know, there. And I wanted." He shifts his head, stares anywhere but at Luke.
"You wanted?"
"God, I wanted everything. Wanted to be able to take you away from it all. I wanted to make you feel so good you'd forget that it was my fault you were in that chair to begin with."
"Noah," Luke's heart breaks at the shame still raw over a year later. "It was never your fault."
"Yeah, no. Luke, it was. I was an idiot to think he'd change. But you were irresistible, are irresistible. A force of nature I'd have been a fool to deny. When you," he closes his eyes. Luke stifles the urge to pet the sweep of Noah's eyelashes. "When you let me kiss you, help you, love you ... I've never been so lucky, so cherished in my entire life. I wanted to share that feeling with you."
His pulse zips under his skin like fireflies in the spring. "How?" He breathes. "Share how?" Luke is getting hard again from the combination of that low, earnest voice and a warm hand petting his back.
Noah tugs them into a sitting position, winces as their bodies peel apart. "Let me. Let me show you. Let me try." He lays Luke down. "Comfortable?" But he doesn't wait for the response. He wedges himself between Luke's spread legs and sucks a kiss to his sternum. He trails his tongue through their combined release, tickles Luke's navel and grazes his happy trail with his teeth. "This okay?" He pauses, waits, then nips at the soft indent where leg becomes hip. "Lost your words?"
Words? What words. Words are long gone. He manages to nod vehemently as his hands scrabble on Noah's shoulders for purchase. "Uh huh." His nerves sizzle. Fireworks explode behind his eyelids with how tight he screws them shut. "You don't have to do this."
"I want to." Noah's mouth hovers over Luke's dick. He doesn't move for a moment, doesn't even appear to breathe. Just hovers. And he is killing Luke.
"You cannot stay there." He opens one eye, peers down at Noah, and is faced with perhaps the hottest sight ever. And he almost missed it! His hair is a mess. His cheeks are flush. His breath is coming in these adorable little mini-puffs of air and Noah is just watching his dick like he's trying to memorize it, like he thinks it's beautiful. Luke feels the burn coursing through him. His arms flail. "Can you just, Noah, move!"
*****
Noah sticks out his tongue and traces it over the vein of Luke's dick. His brain isn't fully computing his actions but his body is fully with the program. Somewhere between salty and bitter, soft and hard, the taste and feel on his tongue is incredible. He flattens his tongue, applies more direct pressure. His hand, God, what if he hurts him, wraps so carefully around the shaft. It isn't his own. It's maybe thicker, maybe softer, definitely perfect. It is the only dick that isn't his own that Noah's ever touched and he never wants to know another one. Ever. He whimpers a little as he realizes what he's doing. His mouth stretches, jaw opens and then he's got Luke inside him, inside his mouth, and it's, beyond perfect, beyond wonderful. He presses forward, chokes on Luke's forward thrust.
"Sorry. Sorry. Couldn't help it. Your mouth. Noah. Your mouth on me. You." He flops back, nudging his dick further again. "Oh god. Sorry." He chews on his fist.
Noah pulls back enough to grin. "Stop apologizing. I'm just gonna." He frowns, rakes his eyes over Luke's body, and shrugs. How can he do this? "I'm just gonna have to hold you down." He spreads his hands, cups his palms on Luke's sides, pins them to the bed. "This okay if I do this?" He blows cool air over Luke's unflagging erection, appreciates the twitches he can create. "Huh. Seems okay."
"So very okay." Luke's voice breaks. "So good."
Noah sucks at the crown, swirls his tongue, presses against the slit. His hands are full of warm, wriggling Luke. His body hums with need and strength. The revelation of having someone want him, trust him, let him do this. It's like nothing else. He bends further, sucks harder, tries to push past his own gag reflex to take moremoremore. Luke's noises turn to little more than mewling and he's jerking up past Noah's grip.
"Close. Really close."
Noah pulls back, not off because that would would be rude, but back. In all his thoughts, planning, his list, he hadn't gotten to this part, to what Really close implied. He stares at Luke's chest heave. His lip bruised from biting. His hands have moved to white knuckle the frame behind him. So beautiful. This gorgeous man falling apart below him, and suddenly Really close is nowhere near enough. It can be messy. It can be sloppy. He doesn't care as long as it ends in Luke's come down his throat. He slurps and licks, sucks and bobs. His boyfriend's sounds encourage him further and deeper and he doesn't know what the magic combination is but there is warmth spurting inside his mouth and Luke's fingernails biting at his scalp. He swallows through Luke's orgasm, sucks at the softening flesh until Luke pushes him away with a whimper.
"Here, Noah. Need you up here." He scurries up to press himself close to Luke. Luke whose voice is clogged with emotion. "You. Can't believe you. Love you so much." Luke pets at Noah's hair. Noah listens to the loud, fast beat of Luke's heart.
"Love you too."
Luke's hand reaches down awkwardly, and Noah recognizes his intention. He kisses Luke's chest, tangles their fingers. "I'm good."
"But you? You just. And I." Luke blinks. "You don't want me to?"
Noah flushes. "No. God. Nothing like that. It's just." He inhales, slides their entwined hands down to his dick. "I kinda, sorta came when you did. So, uhh, yeah. I'm good." He rushes ahead. "If you want to, some other time. I'm not going to say no. Because, blow jobs? That's a no brainer. But not going to happen now." He turns away to yawn. "Now, I maybe want to clean up a bit and sleep? Would that be? Is that okay?"
Luke's smile is bigger than Noah has seen in forever. His eyes are finally clear of alcohol, sadness or doubt. "That would be wonderful." He pulls Noah close. "Let me hold you for a minute before we find a washcloth. Need you next to me." Luke shifts them, spoons around Noah, places his hands on his heart. "Thank you. I don't know what I expected to feel, if I would feel anything. But this? This was everything." He whispers into Noah's ear.
It is Luke's even breath that lulls Noah to sleep in his arms.
*****
They slept. How long, he has no idea. The warm lassitude that comes with quality cat naps and, apparently, non-self-induced orgasms weighs on his muscles. Luke's smile threatens to split his face as he pulls his arms tighter around Noah. Noah's back pressed to his front. He is tucked under Luke's duvet. His cheeks are sleep creased. His hair is a mess. Probably from me pulling it. Somehow he has never looked more wonderful.
Noah shifts in response to Luke's hug. Their legs tangle. Their bodies rub. After two spectacular orgasms, Luke would have thought his body could control itself. Looks like round three is coming up. Luke bites back his laughter. Pun not intended. He kisses behind Noah's ear, across the nape of his neck. Luke didn't know shoulders could turn him on, but Noah's? His entire body tightens, seeks a warm place to bury.
"We fell asleep."
"Yeah." Luke licks the clinging sweat from where Noah's neck meets his spine. "But I don't think for very long."
"That tickles." Noah tugs Luke more fully around him. "Do it again," he says so quietly Luke wouldn't be sure he heard him if he hadn't been listening for every sound.
Noah kisses Luke's fingertips, his palm, scrapes his teeth over the softening callouses. "We should get cleaned up. Someone will be home soon."
Home. The word thrills Luke, even as he tries to reason with himself that Noah doesn't mean he's moving in. "I don't really care."
"Luke, you do. Your grandmother? Your parents? Do you want to explain us to them?"
"I think they know what we do, Noah."
"But we hadn't, not until today. We can tell people later." Noah turns to face Luke. "I'll hire a sky writer. 'Luke Snyder rocks my world' in big puffy clouds over Oakdale." He kisses Luke's nose. "But I'd like to have this just be ours today. Is that wrong? You were so horrified at the thought of your parents knowing."
"I might take you up on the sky writing, but no. It's not wrong. I didn't do this for anyone but us." Us. "There is an us, right? This wasn't some weird way for you to break up with me, right?" There's a rock sitting in his stomach. Sweat dampens the back of his knees.
Noah jerks away from Luke. "No! God. No! How could you - ? Why would I - ? What kind of person do you think I am?" He covers his mouth. His eyes are wide. "I have never wanted to be with anyone as much as I want to be with you. Ever. I would never have done what we did, what I did. Never."
"I know." He watches the doubt on Noah's face. "No, really. I do. I know that. I panicked. I'm sorry. I'm a little messed up." He runs his hands over his hair. "More than a little screwed up. And I screwed us up by being stupid and insecure. I blurt things out, just to hear them out loud. Not because I think that's what really is going on." His arms reach out, pull his boyfriend near. "You looked at me, touched me, with such, such love and sometimes I can't imagine that I deserve it." Luke grabs Noah. "Come here." He peppers kisses across Noah’s jaw until it loosens. “Sorry. Love you. Love you so much.”
Noah melts against him, squeezes close. “I get it. It’s not as if I don’t say things I don’t mean. Just, no, Luke, y’know? I would never do that. Sex isn’t ... It isn’t. And this was.”
“I know.” The moment has passed. Everything is fine, will be. They are back to speaking in half sentences that make perfect sense. “We should get cleaned up. Don’t you think? I’m not sure I want to ever leave my bed again. But we should.”
“Probably.” Noah’s eyes search the room. “Do you have a towel? or something I can put on? I don’t want to sneak down the hall in my clothes. I have to wear them until I get back to the dorms.”
Luke blinks. The hall? Oh. Oh! “No sneaking necessary. Bathroom’s through that door.” He points behind him and to the right. “Over there. I can give you the tour once we’re clean.” He bites Noah’s shoulder. “Come shower with me?”
“Of course.” Noah kisses him, slow and sweet. There is promise in the shared breath, lips on lips. “I wish we could stay here forever.”
“Me too.” Luke shoves at the covers, pries himself from their cocoon. “But I like the idea of getting you all wet. Some of my better dreams start there.”
Noah stretches, stands up, arranges Luke’s arms around him. “Mine too.”
“Wait here. Let me get the shower going.” Luke dashes into his bathroom, does a once over. Housekeeping came through so there are no clothes anywhere, no weird toothpaste blobs or anything. He turns on the water, lets it get steamy, adjusts the spray. Luke glances at the shower gels, the shampoos and conditioners. Noah teased him about all his product when they were at the farm, so it shouldn’t be a surprise. He smirks. Luke reaches for the bottle he keeps tucked beneath the sink. “Water’s ready. Just grabbing towels.” He drops extra on the towel rack. Extra! Because Noah is about to get into the shower with him. Because he is about to share the shower with someone. He cannot believe that a day that started the way his had is ending like this. “You coming?”
“I’m here.” He kisses Luke’s neck. “I think I’ve lived in houses on base that were smaller than this.” He reaches around him for the shower door, slides it open. “Definitely yours. How many types of stuff do you need?”
“Shut up, Mayer. You’ll love it. Promise. Now get in!” He shoves them both forward, cops a gratuitous feel because he can, and shuts the door behind them. Warm. Wet. Naked. Rivulets of water fall across Noah’s shoulder blades, meander over his spine, over his ass. This is Luke’s dreams come to true. Well, almost. “I’ll wash your back, if you’ll wash mine?”
Noah pushes dark, wet curls from his face, faces Luke. “You first?”
“No. I want to check something off my list.” He smiles.
“Me going down on you wasn’t on your list?”
Luke laughs, kisses the wrinkle on Noah’s forehead. “It was. Trust me, it was.” He pours shower gel on his hand. “This okay? Not too strong?” He rubs over Noah’s nipples, appreciates the gasp he conjures up. He washes across his abdomen, slips further down. His hand cups Noah’s dick, strokes it. “Do you want to know what’s on my list, or should I show you?”
Noah reaches out to hold onto Luke. “Show me.”
“I was hoping you’d say that.” Luke sidesteps Noah. He angles the spray, pulls Noah back. “First, let’s rinse you off.” He rocks forward, wipes away the soap, can’t help but reach around and stroke his thumb over Noah’s sac. Luke bites Noah’s earlobe. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do.”
“What did you have in mind?” Noah presses backward, slides his ass over Luke’s dick.
Luke bites his lip. “I wanna, wanna,” he breathes deep.
Noah leans his head on Luke’s shoulder. “I want you to.” Their eyes meet. Nothing but trust, and something more.
“You want me to?”
“Yeah, Luke.”
“And you? You understand what I’m asking?”
Noah nods slowly. Pink seers his cheeks. “You. Inside. Me. Right?”
“Yes.” He fumbles for the bottle of lube. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t. How? How do you want me?”
Luke slicks his fingers. “I don’t know?” He laps at Noah’s neck. “Put your arms against the wall? Head on your hands? I guess?” His dick throbs when Noah willingly obliges his instructions. To heck with shoulders. Noah’s ass is a work of art. Luke inhales. “Gonna, gonna touch you now.”
Noah’s voice is so low that it’s barely discernible over the water in the shower. “Love you.”
Luke palms Noah’s ass with his non-lubed hand. He feels clumsy and awkward as he runs his fingers over Noah’s balls and back, circling but not pressing where he thinks he should be. He wishes he had read a manual.
“I won’t break. Promise.”
“I know that. In theory.” He rims Noah with his fingers, pushes past initial resistance with the tip of his finger. Luke watches, and feels, as Noah tightens. “Breathe. You have to breathe.” He pulls out, pushes back in a little further, still only one finger. “We can stop.”
“No. I want this. I want you. It’s just different when it’s you.” Noah rocks his hips gently.
“When it’s me?” Luke removes his fingers, takes a step back. “You’ve done this with someone else?”
Noah’s blush coats his whole body, toes to scalp. He stares into the fiberglass wall in front of him. “Not with someone else. But maybe, I, you know, tried myself to see what it would feel like, if you and I ever got here.”
“Oh.” Oh.
“Yeah.”
Luke is on his boyfriend in an instant. “Want you so bad. Need you so much.” All fear is gone, burned off in a haze of desire. He listens to Noah, watches for signs of pain. He sees nothing of the sort. It’s all more and need you and LukeLukeLuke. He’s never heard Noah sound more ravaged, more desperate, more hot.
Luke isn’t sure he won’t come on the spot. One finger, two, even three. How is it possible that Noah won’t break him? Or he won’t break Noah. Luke doesn’t want to sound egotistical, but his dick? Longer than his freaking fingers. He’s willing himself not to freak out. He’s got a gorgeous man chewing on his own fist to stay somewhat quiet. Lube is sliding over his wrist and down Noah’s thighs because they didn’t know how much to use. This is it. Really it. Even more it than it was when they jacked off, even more it than Noah’s awesome blow job. He pauses. One hand wrapped around Noah’s stomach. The other occupied in stretching him open. “Don’t kill me.”
“Then why did you stop?”
“I left the rubbers by my bed. Didn’t exactly see my first time happening in a shower.” He shivers at the loss of heat and closeness as he pulls out. “I’ll be right back.”
Noah grabs Luke’s wrist. “If you step out of this shower, I am jerking off, leaving here, and never coming back. Ever.”
Luke pauses. “I’ll just be a sec -”
“I am not kidding. You’re clean. I’m clean. Slick up and get back here or I’m doing this solo.”
“You wouldn’t.” Luke thinks his eyes might pop out of his head.
“Try me.” Noah spins, yanking Luke against him. He puts the lube in his hand. “In me, Luke. Where you belong.”
“So you want me -?” Luke stares down at their dicks. He’s seen porn. He has. He’s a guy, after all, with high speed cable access, a laptop and two working hands. But he’s never seen a sight as mouth watering, as breath stealing, as terrifying as the one in front of him. Noah’s dick is hard, glistening, and currently nestled in Noah’s hand. This seems wrong. Luke covers his boyfriend’s hand in his.
“I want you.” Noah’s words are so simple, so matter of fact. They cut through everything from Luke’s unintentional delay to the vestiges of fear clinging to him. Noah holds Luke’s hand, slips it below his dick, behind his balls. “We’re ready.” He hitches his leg around Luke, tugs him closer.
Luke chokes a little. The closeness and heat off Noah’s body is mind numbing, but the angle, the angle is all wrong. “Never gonna work like this. You gotta turn around.”
Noah closes his eyes, releases his grip and turns. He crosses his arms in front of his head, rests his forehead in his hand, and waits.
Spine stretched. Legs firmly planted. Noah’s thighs shaking are the only give away of anything other than confidence. Luke rolls his eyes. He’s an idiot. If Noah can be sure, then he can too. And being sure will lead to his dick in Noah and more orgasms. Mutual orgasms. Mutual orgasms while buried in Noah. Really what wasn’t there to like in that plan? He could do this.
Luke leaned forward, lined the front of his legs up with the back of Noah’s. He coats himself in a generous amount of slick. He hopes he doesn’t come before he’s even inside. It’s an embarrassing but all too real fear if the smooth heat he’s about to enter is anything to go by. “Ready?”
“Since I met you.”
He swallows. Twice. “Love you.” He guides himself into Noah. inside his boyfriend. “Oh god.” Luke bites on Noah’s shoulder to stifle his urgency.
“Oh god.” Noah’s palm is in his mouth and he’s biting down hard enough to whiten the flesh. His breath is quick and shallow. “Luke.”
Luke sucks on the skin he bruises, swipes his tongue across the sting. He rests his forearm on the wall aside Noah, and his forehead against his back. Every fiber of his being screams at him, but he can’t move yet, can’t risk it. His balls tighten. “Nnngh.”
“You gotta move. I’m gonna, god, gonna die if you don’t.” One of Noah’s hands slaps against the backsplash. The other clings to the small of Luke’s back.
Luke edges back, careful to not pull out entirely. That would be bad. He slides forward and back, tries to find a rhythm that won’t have him shooting off before they’re both ready. He cranes his head to meet Noah and freezes. “Am I hurting you? Are you? Noah, you’re supposed to say something if it hurts.”
He shakes his head, sniffles. “It doesn’t hurt.”
Luke wipes at Noah’s eyes. “Then why?”
Noah shakes his head again. “Just. Stay with me. Please. Move. I’m so close. Really close.”
Even with momentum lost, Luke listens to Noah’s words. He steadies himself, matches his thrusts to his pounding heart rate. “I gotcha. I gotcha.” He pauses at Noah’s watery praise, So good to me, Luke, you’re too good to me before picking up speed.
Noah’s arm drifts to Luke’s, twines their fingers together. “Touch me. Please, Luke. Need you to touch me.” They find a counterpoint to the snap of Luke’s hips, both of them stretching tighter and tighter. Noah’s hand releases to claw at the wall. His head rocks back against Luke’s. “Right there.”
“Me too. God, me too.” And he is, and they are, and it’s everything. Luke is coming harder than he thought possible, especially on the third go round. His boyfriend shaking, fall apart around him is too much. It’s beautiful and earth shattering all at once and made complete by the feel of Noah coming into his hand and the sound of his laughter ringing out.
Long moments later, once they can both figure out where each of them ends and the other begins, Luke starts to step back.
“Wait.”
Luke hesitates. His dick is overly sensitive and he really can’t wait, but Noah’s spun through a whole range of emotions, and he’s not sure what’s about to happen.
“Love the way you feel inside me. I never thought I’d be this close to anyone. I don’t want to say things in the heat of the moment that I wouldn’t say any other time. So can you wait, stay, a moment longer, for me.”
“Forever.” Luke nuzzles at Noah’s neck. “You’re the romantic one. I always knew it. It’s all those old movies. They make you a sap. They made you my sap.”
Noah’s grin is blinding. “Thank you.”
Luke eases out this time for real. “We should clean up for real this time. Without that being a euphemism for more sex. I think. Not that I don’t want more sex, umm, because I do. But I don’t know that even I could take it right now. I might die. And that would suck.”
Noah stays leaning against the wall. “At least you won’t die a virgin.”
Luke splashes water at him. “Jerk.” He adds shower gel to his hands and begins to clean Noah. His fingers brush over Noah’s hole, still sticky with lube and now with come. He almost suggests another round, but isn’t sure he wouldn’t have a stroke. “I won’t, though. Will I? I’m no longer Oakdale’s Oldest Living Virgin.” Finally.
Noah takes the gel and bathes Luke. “Not any more.” He places a perfunctory kiss on Luke’s mouth. “Now you’re my Luke, no titles necessary.” He can’t quite hide the awkwardness of his stance. “I’m clean now. I’ll give you a couple minutes to finish up.” He kisses Luke again, the quickest hint of tongue on tongue. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m fine. More than fine.”
Luke watches Noah open the door to the shower, admires how gorgeous he looks naked. Way better than anything his spank bank might have come up with. He wants to write and laugh and curl up and never leave the room again. His fingers itch for his laptop to try and document a tenth of the emotion swirling inside him. Luke makes do with washing his hair and giving Noah a few minutes to center himself.
*****
Noah touches his hand to his face. He wonders if his lip could split from smiling. He towels off carefully. Parts of him sore that he never really contemplated getting sore, but with that great dull ache that comes with doing something right. He gets at least partially dressed before he tries to talk Luke into trying again, on the bed, where they can lie down, and face each other, and Luke can pound him into the mattress. He chews on the inside of his cheek. His body misses that closeness already.
Lost in the locking of doors and the kissing and then the shirtlessness of it all, Noah hadn’t had a chance to see Luke’s room. He looks his fill while he towels off his hair. There is a cork board on the wall with awards and pictures. He zeroes in on a picture of Luke from high school. He is young, and happy, and dorky. Noah sees the boy that will become his Luke.
“Is this really you?” He waves the picture at Luke.
“Don’t look at that. Yes. Give it to me.”
Noah admires Luke’s chest, still damp. He wants to mark it with hickeys and maybe a tattoo that says “Property of Noah Mayer.” He focuses on the photo to stop his possessive streak. “What’s with this shirt?”
“I was a nerd? Come on. Gimme that.” Luke comes closer in an attempt to get the picture, but stops. He winds his hands through Noah’s hair, plays with the curls.
Luke’s smile is similar to the one in the photo and stops Noah’s heart with beauty he cannot describe. “You know? I’m really glad we waited.”
“Why? ‘Cause I don’t look like that anymore?”
Noah knows his words are never going to be Luke’s. They’ll never flow as smoothly, but he hopes he makes sense. “No. I know we did wait. For a long time. But ... it was worth it. Are you happy?”
“Happy doesn’t even begin to cover it.”
Their kiss is wonderful, but different. They will never go back to where they were, what they were, and for a moment that awareness arcs through Noah with something sharp and bittersweet. What they are is so much more now. Luke’s right. Happy doesn’t even begin to cover it. He inhales the scent of Luke’s shampoo, takes in the comfort he always associates with it, lets himself sink into the reality of the day, and Luke and him. “Perfect,” he whispers to his boyfriend’s temple. “Love you.”