Fic: Please (Luke/Noah One-Shot Post 7/3 episode)
Title: Please
Author: nouveau_monday
Pairing: Luke/Noah
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 6.1k-ish
Summary: AU, breaks off after Cyndi Day and shows what would have been a much better solution.
Spoilers: Haven't seen July 3rd episode yet? Don't read this if you don't want to know.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything or anyone related to this show. If I did it would be very very different. CBS and P&G, Van, Jake, I'm a little jealous of you all for owning yourselves and this story.
Notes: Much thanks, as always, to mightyten who betas as always. Plus qafaddiction and elin_aurora who did some beta-ing also.
Dedication: This would not have happened at all without Marcella, Elin, Heather and Brak. Seriously. Marcella, you're the best beta ever. Elin, it's not a naughty PM but I hope it's a decent replacement. Heather, you read everything so carefully; it's wonderful. Brak, the line about cookies being rolled on the counter was stolen from you shamelessly. Finally, in my head, this is truly dedicated to Jake and Elin's elephant, where ever it currently is.
Noah blasts country music as he heads back on to campus. He knows it's past the time when they're supposed to monitor their noise on campus and he doesn't care. He's thinking of the damned soldiers from the bases where he grew up. About pre-emptive letters home and the calls and visits to family and friends to say that their sons, daughters, wives, husbands, siblings, loved ones had died. He's remembering saying Grace in his kitchen and the Colonel offering a moment of silence after he read off the list of people who would never be returning. Noah's mind is filled with all of that, but his heart, his mouth, his dick are humming with the imprint of Luke pressed up against him less than an hour ago. What the hell was I thinking?
He has driven all over Oakdale to make sure he remembers everything. WOAK and that first kiss with Luke. Lucinda's cottage and Luke. The alley by Yo's and kissing Luke. Old Town with Luke. Every single memory stupidly entwined with Luke. The smell, taste, sound, feel of Luke everywhere. How could Noah leave knowing what Luke offered after eight months together, after waiting and wanting, after Luke nearly dying, and Ameera and the Colonel? Really, how could he leave Luke at all?
Noah slams his foot to the floorboard and fishtails before he can spin the truck around toward the farm. He's a fucking idiot. That's all there is to it. A fucking idiot, but hopefully Luke will be awesome enough to forgive him. Though, to be fair and possibly prepare himself for a really bad experience, Noah doesn't know if he'd forgive himself for being as much of an asshole as he's been. Who does that? Jesus, did he really just tell the man he loves that he wants to be back together with him but they can't have sex because he's enlisting in the army? Did he really do that? Noah can feel his skin blanching in shame. Shit. He speeds. Screw any cops that want to get in the way. Surely Margo can understand true love, and hell, she's got a son. She should be able to understand the urgency in Luke's offer and Noah's need to get the fuck there, apologize as quickly as possible, beg for forgiveness and, well, hopefully, have sex for hours, maybe days.
He stops the truck at the long turn off before the farm. His hands sweat. Can he do this? If he goes to Luke now, and Luke forgives him, will he still make it to the processing center on Monday? Can he spend the next however long his country needs him following the notion of don't ask, don't tell if he has something to tell? Hell. Noah frowns, bites at his lips. Maybe he owes it to Luke to just leave, to not make this worse, to not give in to what they both want. It might be worse if you never know. If you leave, write that just-in-case letter, but never shared yourself with him. His body supplies heated sense memories of Luke's lips, Luke's tongue in his mouth, Luke's chest against his, all of which go straight to his dick. "Okay, fuck, okay," Noah mutters at his traitorous body. "I'm going. Luke better not kick me out the door." He shoves into drive and pushes past his own fear.
There are no cars or trucks or any other sort of vehicle in sight. The kitchen light is on. Noah winces, jeans too tight, shirt uncomfortable against his skin. He shuts the truck door as quietly as possible, holds his breath, tiptoes toward the porch door. His breath releases. He wasn't aware he had been holding it in the first place. Luke sits at the table, chin in his hands. He stares into space, into the doorway that led to the den where Noah slept over Christmas. Noah watches Luke blink slowly, chew at his lower lip, swallow. Noah raises his fist to knock on the door. He pauses. This could be a really big mistake. Luke brings more chaos to his life than the storm of butterflies currently taking up occupancy in his gut. There is no order, no regulation, no stability with Luke. There is want and desire and messy emotions that don't make sense even when they're the next best things to any heaven Noah could imagine. He knocks anyway. Because really, on the other side of the door is Luke, and what more does he need?
"Noah?" Luke ushers him in, gestures toward the kitchen table. "What are you doing here? I thought? I thought you said something about heading to a processing center or something?" Luke laughs, and the bitterness break Noah's heart. "Last I checked, even with my grandmother's rules, we still can't stop you being gay. I'm certainly not going to try to convince you you're straight."
"Bet there's lots of things you could convince me of, Luke. But straight? That's definitely not one I want you to try for." Noah steps into Luke's space, manhandles him until his back is against the counter. "Do you remember last summer? Swimming at the pond? We came back, fought over that silly towel, the water on the floor, and then." Noah swallows.
"And then you slipped, and you were laying on me, and god damn, you were wet and warm and slippery. Neither of us could breathe." Luke's eyes are closed.
"And then Maddie came in, and I freaked the fuck out."
Luke frowns, nods. "Okay, that sort of spoils things. Not one of my better memories there, Noah. Why bring up ancient, and here's a hint, painful history?"
"I'm an idiot, Luke. I was an idiot then, and I'm still an idiot." Noah crowds Luke more, slips his thigh between Luke's legs and cages him with an arm on either side of his. "You let me be an idiot because you thought it was the right thing to do. You always want to do the right thing. Want me to learn my lessons for myself, even when I suspect you really just want to shake me until my neck snaps."
Luke flushes, laughs. "Sometimes?" He bites his lip, rubs experimentally against Noah's leg. "I didn't understand what was going on, and I wanted you. God did I want you."
"I wanted you too. And I was so angry about that, so angry and so scared." Noah shifts, lines their tangled bodies up from knee to shoulder. "And now I'm so scared that you're angry. I wasn't lying. I mean, I wasn't lying at Yo's, when I said we belong together. When I said you were the one. You, God, you just are. Luke, you're my everything."
"I'm sensing a 'but' here ..." Luke leans forward.
Noah's mouth tingles with the nearness of his boyfriend. He bites at the inside of his cheek. "But part of me still feels like I should enlist, like I need to do this to have everything make sense." He inhales the intoxicating sense of sweat and the farm and Luke. Noah wants to explain, but nothing comes out when he opens his mouth. I know I need to do something, to see what sort of man I am. But fuck if I didn't get onto campus and then realize how much more I needed you to see what sort of man I could become, is a scary confession and what if Luke isn't prepared to hear that? Noah nuzzles into the hollow above Luke's collarbone. "Please, Luke, I'm so sorry." Just say, I don't know, say you'll think about it, that maybe you can find your way back to loving me some day, that you'll let me blow you against the counter before you fuck me into it. Noah's knees wobble. His own proposition, the words he can't quite get out, make him weak. "Please, Luke, please. God. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." He can't stop repeating himself, slides his arms off the counter and around Luke. "Please, please, please." Tears slip from his eyes and dampen Luke's shirt. Noah should care, should clean up, should stop being pathetic, but he's wrapped tight around Luke - something he wasn't sure he was ever going to get to do again - and they're both breathing too fast, too heavy, and Noah wants so much.
"Baby." Luke rolls his hips against Noah's. "Shh. I know you're sorry. Baby, I know. You have to do what you have to do, Noah. And if that means enlisting, I'm not going to stop you." He licks a pointed stripe from Noah's jaw to his ear and bites on Noah's earlobe. "Nothing wrong with trying to convince you that what we have here is worth it, but I'm not going to stop you." He sucks the skin behind Noah's ear, licks the sting of the quickly surfacing bruise. "You're the best kind of man I could ever want." He cups Noah's chin in his hands, forces their eyes to meet. "You're all I want. We can talk about this later, debate it endlessly, fight, cry, I don't care. But right now, for possibly the first and only time in forever, there is no one at the farm but the two of us. And if we don't get naked right now, I'll never forgive either of us." He lunges forward. Their mouths meet in a crush of teeth and lips and pain that all becomes perfect when teeth give way to tongue and wet and slick and desperate.
Luke uses Noah's surprise to his advantage and flips their position so it's Noah against the edge of the counter. Noah's taller, and it's a better angle. Luke maintains the kiss. Oxygen seems less than necessary as his hands fumble to slip under Noah's belt and against his skin. "Love you so much. Want you even more. God, Noah, you have no idea."
Noah flushes. "I've got ideas of my own."
Luke raises an eyebrow. "I noticed that." He undoes his boyfriend's belt, proud that his fingers aren't shaking. The button fly proves a little more difficult, but eventually an enthusiastic yank does the trick. "Shirt off now," Luke growls out, shocked at his own impatience.
And Noah complies immediately. "Yours too. Off. Now. Please." His words are more of a plea or a whine than Luke's and Luke finds he likes that.
Luke rests his palm against Noah's sternum and watches Noah bend back under the barest of pressure. His throat clogs at the sight of pale skin laid out on his grandmother's counter. Noah's lips are swollen and kiss slick. The pupils of his eyes are blown wide. "So beautiful." Luke trails a finger across Noah's neck, down around each nipple then further down to weave figure eights in the trail of hair below Noah's navel.
"Shut up." Noah's blush bathes his face and neck. "Guys aren't beautiful."
"You shut up, Mayer. You're beautiful when I say so. Jesus, if you could only see yourself." Luke is lost in the reflection of soft light gleaming against the counter and the shadows that shiver with each of Noah's hitched breaths. He re-positions himself to lay a wet stripe under the elastic of Noah's boxers while his hands tug at the denim, push jeans down to Noah's knees. He straightens, stares into Noah's eyes. "Whatever you need, whatever you want, tell me no right now or I'm not stopping until neither of us can walk for the next month. You have, like, five seconds before I get you completely naked and blow you until you forget your name." Luke smiles. "Five ..."
Noah catches the band of his boxers with his thumbs and shoves them down. He's not graceful. He gets tangled, bumps his head against Luke's chest, mesmerizes himself in the dusting of hair that coats Luke's stomach.
"Four..."
Noah figures out that sucking hickeys onto Luke's hips and getting naked simultaneously is not as easy as porn would have led him to believe.
"Three ..." Luke cannot stop giggling. "That tickles, Noah."
"You're still dressed, Luke. No one's here, and if they were, I wouldn't care. And even more importantly, chances are more people at the farm have seen your bare ass than mine, so can we please even things out?" Now that he's not caught in his fucking jeans, Noah bites at Luke's nipple. The raised flesh hardens beneath his teeth and tongue. He stalls at the sounds Luke makes, somewhere between a groan and a whimper. "Good?" God, he hopes that's a good noise, because Jesus, it's a hot noise.
"Good."
"Naked?" Noah whispers.
"Naked," Luke promises. He toes off his flip-flops. Noah watches Luke's hands undo his belt, button and finally his fly with confidence. Noah's hot and hard, knowing those hands are going to be on him in a moment.
Luke's commando.
Oh my god. Luke's dick. It's. Fuck. "I take it back. Guys can be beautiful. You're ..." Beautiful. Mouth watering. So fucking. Jesus. " ... I don't have words." Noah tongues his way across Luke's clavicles, slides his hands around Luke's wrists. He repositions their bodies and drops to his knees, using Luke for balance. "Need this." Don't stop me. God. Just fucking let me. Let me do this, please." Noah's breath floats across the head of Luke's dick, and he takes the almost invisible thrust of Luke's hips as agreement. Noah licks his lips, steadies his hands still clenched around Luke's wrists and opens his mouth to suck the head of Luke's dick into his mouth.
Salt, smooth, slick. Noah almost coughs, but it's Luke. So he swirls his tongue over the head again, flips his tongue underneath the crown, hopefully Luke likes that like Noah does. Luke's hands curl reflexively, reaching for Noah's shoulders. Noah obliges, lets go, and slips his hands to Luke's hips. He presses his mouth forward, hollows his cheeks. Up and down the length, slowly, and Noah nearly weeps when he manages to feel pubic hair against his nose. He swallows, prays that his gag reflex was destroyed by several bouts of the flu as a small child, because Luke is not small. His throat muscles tighten, but don't fight him, instead tightening around the intrusion, milking it. Noah's tongue flutters near the head, encourages Luke's pre-come to fill his mouth. He slides his mouth almost all the way off, surprising himself with how empty he feels. Noah's dick is throbbing, but all he wants is Luke. Luke clutching at his shoulders, adding scratches to the indents already there. Luke keening and whispering curses, praises and Noah's name as though they are one and the same. He wants everything. And for once, he can have it.
Noah fists Luke's dick in his hand, marvels at the texture - wet, slick, hard, heavy, smooth. He laps at the soft skin of Luke's balls, rolls them on his tongue while his hand keeps its slip-slide motion. He sucks damp kisses to the underside of Luke's dick, laps at the slit, returns his hands back to Luke's hips to take him fully in again. Noah's motions are frantic. He can feel Luke getting closer with each minuscule thrust against Noah's hands, in his throat. Noah shoves his nose into Luke's pubes, smells sweat and heat and this insanely intense essence of Luke. He kinda wants to bury himself in it, bathe in it, never leave. His tongue movements become harder, desperate. His mouth fills with saliva and slick bitter salt.
Luke's dick becomes impossibly bigger, longer. His fingernails are embedded under Noah's skin, in his blood, everywhere. Noah can't figure out what he should be doing, but Luke is shaking and crying and whispering his name. He thrusts once, twice, past the grip Noah has and he's coming, and god, flooding Noah's mouth. Noah takes in what he can, pulls back to get more, lets it fill his mouth. He sucks Luke through spasms and aftershocks, until they're both panting. "Holy shit," Noah murmurs. His eyes leak tears, his dick is ready to explode and he doesn't care. "Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit. That was, fuck, you were, God. I fucking love you, Luke." He wraps his arms around Luke's legs, catching him as his knees start to give.
"I can't believe you just did that." Luke pets at Noah's jaw. "I've never..." He flushes. "Never."
"Me neither." Noah kisses Luke's thigh, bites at the warm flesh. "You were amazing." His heart pounds. He did it. That mind blown, blissed out, holy shit, world rocked off its axis look on Luke's face came from Noah. He can't believe it, really, but he did it. His knees begin to make their presence known, so he slides up Luke's body. His dick hurts like a million volt electric shock whenever it touches Luke. "Love you, love you, love you," he whispers unspoken promises into golden skin. "So much. I'm so sorry. I'm an idiot. So sorry. Love you. Love you."
Luke's hands fist into Noah's hair, pulls his head back. He bites at the pronounced vein in Noah's neck, tongues across his Adam's apple. "No apologies. No 'I'm sorry'. You came back. You came back to me. We're going to be okay now, you and I. Better. Maybe even perfect." His words are hot against Noah. His hands trace insistent lines over Noah's skin.
"God, Luke, will you, can you touch me? Please, I need..." Noah chews on his lip. "I don't even know what I need." He blushes. It doesn't seem right to beg his boyfriend to suck his dick, just because he had. It hadn't been about reciprocity. "You don't have to, I mean, if you don't want to, I wasn't..." Fuck, but Noah hates his lack of words sometimes.
"Let me. I want to." And maybe Luke's voice is rough and growly, and maybe Noah thinks Luke has never sounded hotter. Noah lets himself be manhandled, lets Luke push him back until he's scrambling to sit on the counter top, to lay his back against the length of the cool wood. His legs dangle off the edge, his feet no longer able to touch the floor. Luke scrapes teeth and stubble across Noah's hips, his abdomen. He slips between and slightly under Noah's legs, so Noah's knees rest on Luke's shoulders. Luke stands, his stomach presses against the back of Noah's thighs. He runs his hands over the front of Noah's legs, snugs them against his hips. Luke aches to lick at the dark trail of hair leading to Noah's cock. He has wanted his face right there for almost a year and the irony that this is all coming to play on the counter where it started is not lost on him. He hides a laugh behind a swipe of his tongue over Noah's balls and the low oh. my. god. spilling from Noah's lips.
Luke coaxes noises from Noah by running fingers up Noah's ribs before teasing his nipples. Luke watches the in and out of Noah's breath grow shorter, thinner. He could do this for hours, play Noah's body like an instrument just to hear the sounds. But he won't, because he's not that mean, and just because Luke had an amazing orgasm and is down about a gazillion brain cells that all shot out his cock, does not mean that Noah shouldn't be equally stupid in return. He kneels down, bends forward, bypasses Noah's cock to again tongue at his balls. His fingers create a loose circle around the velvet soft shaft. Noah feels similar and yet so different from any, every, time Luke touched himself.
Luke wants to try everything immediately. He's had a list in his head for months, with some items prioritized, highlighted and starred. He worries his lip. The idea is hot. The practice is nerve wracking. He watches the shivering movements Noah cannot help but make as he tries to get enough friction to rub off on Luke's fingers. Luke shakes his head. These things wouldn't happen in porn if they weren't actually effective, right? He blows cool air across Noah's stomach, his cock, his balls. Before he can talk himself out of it, Luke lifts Noah's legs closer to Noah's chest and bends to place his tongue against the crack of Noah's ass, circles his hole like Luke knows what he's doing.
"What are you doing?" Noah's voice cracks.
Luke laughs, tongues deeper for a moment just to hear that keening noise once again. "Am I doing something wrong?" Luke frowns, inches back.
Noah's fingers shift from their grip on the butcher-block top to reaching for Luke's hair. "No, no, no, just, you don't have to. God, you could just look at me right now and I'd come." He cranes his neck up and stares down his body.
Luke smirks. "Don't want to just look at you. Want to touch you." Luke goes back to his plan with singular determination. He wants Noah wet and open, and from what he can tell, he's doing it right. Noah's ankles kick at Luke's back, tug him closer, even while his hips are arching forward. Noah's lost all coherency. Luke smiles. He did that. He reduced Noah to monosyllabic babble that could be Luke, or Love, or Fuck or something else entirely. He buries his tongue as far as he can, tries to find a steady rhythm. Noah's gasps are getting louder and this is not how Luke wants this to end. He removes his mouth with one last kiss. "Love you, Baby. Love you so much." He doesn't know if Noah can hear, almost doesn't care, because he replaces his tongue with a finger as he takes Noah's cock as deep into his mouth as he can.
Noah honest-to-god shouts and comes immediately. Luke chokes, not expecting so much so quickly. He swallows what he can and lets Noah slip from his mouth. Luke leaves his finger inside Noah, while he bites at Noah's hip. "You're incredible." He pauses. "Thank you."
Noah props himself up on his elbows. He inhales deeply as Luke's finger pushes further into him. It doesn't hurt, but it's sort of weird. "I'm incredible? Thank me? Are you high? Luke, god, you're the incredible one. I don't think I've ever come that hard in my life." He flushes. "And if you don't get your finger out of me, my dick's going to get the idea that it should be coming again really soon."
Luke shakes his head. "I have a better idea." He pushes farther, crooks his finger just so and Noah's arms slip out from behind him. His head bangs against the counter.
"Holy shit, are you okay?" Luke goes to move away, but Noah clenches his legs tight around him.
"Do that again."
Luke freezes. "But your head -"
"- Is fine." Noah shifts experimentally. "Can you? I mean..." He whines, but not in a bad way. "Do that again..."
"Oh." Luke nudges his finger again. "Like that?" Carefully moving deeper, rubbing there "Is that? Did I?"
"Again." And then Noah pushes himself up, wrapping Luke closer, pressing them as close as he can. "God, Luke. Want you inside me." He shakes his head, unable to think, unable to breathe. "Never wanted anyone like I want you. Now," He pumps his hips. "Now, now, now."
"Fuck," Luke shivers. "I wasn't ... I didn't ... Lube is upstairs. Stay right here." He kisses Noah's leg, his stomach, the head of Noah's cock already hardening again. "Right here. Shit. I'm so carrying stuff on me from now on. Promise." He laps at the smooth patch of skin where Noah's hip and leg join.
"Hurry." Noah eases his legs down. He laughs at their collective awkwardness as Luke hobbles up the stairs. That can't be comfortable. He focuses on his own body, feels like maybe he's on speed the way his heart is pounding. "Hurry faster, Luke, or I'm starting without you." He shouts up the stairs, freer than he's ever been. The stumbling thump of Luke's feet coming back down the stairs have Noah's heart trying to leave his chest. "Can't you move faster?" He strokes his dick, hears Luke, Hey, not without me! "Told you to hurry up. Now get back here and fuck me." Noah strokes up, thumbs at the sensitive spot under the crown of his dick and gasps. "Please."
Luke is more than willing to comply. He stands between Noah's legs, barely touching, at the narrow edge of the counter, and stares. "I've been waiting for this moment since I was, like, fifteen."
Noah hates that he does it, but he pouts at Luke's words. "You didn't know me until a year ago."
"I've only known you a year, but I've been waiting for now a lot longer." Luke strums his fingers at Noah's thighs. "I just didn't know I was waiting for you as well." He kisses Noah's chest, whispers words of adoration into his stomach. "Now I know." Luke tastes a combination of sweat and pre-come off his boyfriend's skin. All of this, his for the taking, laid out like a feast. "Are you ready?"
"Yes?" Noah clears his throat. "Yes."
Luke places the rubbers on the counter, flips open the cap on the lube. He tries to pour but nothing comes out. How did I manage to buy defective lube? How the fuck did that happen? He shakes the bottle.
Noah grins. "A safety seal maybe? Try unscrewing the cap?" He rips the edge of one of the foil squares, holds it out to Luke.
Noah is right. He peels away the plastic and recaps the bottle. Lube flows slick across his fingers up to his knuckles. He warms the fluid between his fingers. "I should have put the condom on first, I think." He twists his lips, glances from his fingers to his cock and back to the proffered rubber.
"Let me do it." Noah's fingers ease the condom from its wrapper. He struggles to sit up. His blood is all in his dick and his toes have started to numb. He smiles, easier now, his heart not lost in his throat. Rubbers he can do. Noah used them ... with Maddie. Okay, not something to think about. Really not something to about now. But this, this is different. This isn't his own dick. It's backwards and awkward and he's touching Luke's dick. Which, yeah, sure, it was in his mouth just a short while ago, but Noah knows where Luke's dick is about to go, and fuck if he can concentrate. His fingers are too clumsy, too long. The condom splats on the floor in a sticky heap.
They stare at each other, at the floor, at each other. They both laugh, can't help it.
"God, we suck." Luke blushes. "I didn't mean that like that." He pauses. "Well, except that I did. Because we do, or, I mean, you just did. And we will. Again? I hope? Because that was almost stupid it was so good."
Noah chews at his lip, admires the lines of Luke's chest, his neck, his fingers that are still sticky and Noah wants them inside him so much he might explode. "So, umm, look. I'm clean. I mean. I know I'm not a virgin, but I went to the school clinic earlier this year, because, well, I wanted you to know, if we ever got to this." He holds up his hands. "I mean, I didn't want to pressure you, so I never said anything, but I am. Clean, I mean. And I don't think you're gonna knock me up or anything. And you're a virgin..."
"You mean?" Luke's pupils nearly swallow the brown of his eyes. He swallows. "And you want me to ... ?"
Noah places his hands on Luke's shoulders, soothes down his arms. "I want you. I want you inside me." Noah entwines his fingers with Luke's. He pulls their collective hands to his balls. Never breaking eye contact, Noah leans back, each vertebrae against the wood burns with impatience. "Please."
Luke stops breathing for a second, maybe eternity. He manages to re-open the lube, get more out, get his finger back to Noah. He remembers to take in oxygen, remembers what he's supposed to be doing, wishes he knew more. "I'm sorry if this hurts. I've heard it does. You'll tell me, right." Luke's balls are throbbing. The first joint of his finger inside Noah is tight and warm and how will this not break Luke's dick or Noah's ass or both? His whole finger moves in, out, in again. Noah makes these sounds, half way between a whimper and a purr and Luke's pretty sure those could rock him to sleep for the rest of forever without ever having anything else happen.
But then Noah's fingers dig into the counter and he grits out, More... and Luke realizes exactly what is going to happen. On the next forward move, he adds a second finger, rubs at Noah's abdomen with his other hand, watches the muscles contract and relax as Noah's body adjusts. "So good." Luke tries to make a scissoring motion like he read about, but he's never actually seen that inside someone. There's never been a camera up any porn star's ass as far as he knows. And really, if there has been, he doesn't actually want to know.
Noah rocks, meets his fingers at every thrust. Luke coats himself in more lube, and Jesus he should just buy stock in Wet at this point, but he actually slips a third finger into Noah without too much wincing or pain. Luke's fairly certain his cock is going to fall off, or explode, or somehow malfunction if he doesn't get inside Noah soon. "Can I? Are you?"
Noah nods, beyond an ability to speak. He spreads his legs wider, screws himself down further on Luke's hand. "Nnngh," is the best he can manage to say.
Luke lubes himself up the best he can, which is to say that he almost comes just thinking about what this means. "Oh fuck, Noah." He lines his cock up. "Look at me." Noah's blue eyes hold and Luke can see the request in them, see the urgency. Luke's never been this intimate with anyone, and he'll be the first to admit he's terrified. "This is the biggest present that you could give me, and I don't care how cheesy that sounds. I love you."
"Love you too, Luke." Noah reaches out for Luke's free hand, squeezes it, tugs. And then it's happening, for real, and Luke is entering him and yeah, okay, it hurts more than Luke's fingers did. There has never been anything like this. Luke is pressed up against him, skin to skin. "Don't move."
"Shit." Luke bites at his tongue. "Easier said than done." He wraps his hand on Noah's cock, barely jacking it.
Noah arches into Luke's touch, sobs at the almost-but-not-quite-enough friction and the scrape of Luke's dick across his prostate.
"You moved! I swear. It wasn't me."
"Shut up, Luke. God, just shut up and fuck me!" Noah clenches his legs, tugs Luke on top of him. They can't kiss, can't reach each other, but Luke licks at Noah's skin, across his nipples. The sensation of Luke inside him, on top of him is almost too much. His dick loves the hot warmth of their stomachs, and more times than not Luke hits just the right spot inside of him to have Noah seeing stars. It doesn't take long before Noah's clawing at Luke's back and swearing. Too much. Too real. Too good. Too everything.
Luke's thrusts become erratic. "God. Noah." He bites down on Noah's clavicle, coming hard. Noah didn't expect to feel it, didn't know what to expect, but the unsteady jerking motions inside him, against his dick and his own desperation combine and he follows Luke over the edge into orgasm.
They stay as they are. Luke on top of Noah. Both of them stuck together by sweat, saliva and come. Noah's ass throbs now that he's coming down from his high of love and endorphins, but he doesn't want anything to change. He cards his fingers through Luke's hair, brushes blonde bangs from Luke's eyes. "We just ...."
"We did." Luke kisses Noah's chin.
"I can't feel my toes," Noah can't stop smiling.
Luke peels himself up, surveys their surrounding. "We should probably get things cleaned up."
Noah blanches. They just had sex - Luke lost his virginity - in the middle of the Snyder Farm kitchen on the counter top where Emma rolls out cookies. "Probably." His hands scrabble for Luke's. "But don't move quite yet. Stay. Inside me. Just a second longer."
"I can do that." Luke smiles. He hugs Noah, sneaks his arms around him, and adjusts them both so they're upright. He can reach Noah's mouth now and showers it with kisses. "You're a miracle. I can't believe you let me." He runs his fingers over Noah's jaw, tugs at his ear.
"Was it? Can we? Again, some time, maybe?" Noah wiggles his toes, releases Luke's hands. "I mean, if you want to."
Luke gawks. "Really? Again? You'd let me?" He slides out. "Sorry if this hurts," he kisses into Noah's skin.
Noah is boneless, positive that somehow all his strength and mobility is attached to Luke's dick, which is now outside of Noah. He melts into Luke's arms, snuggles his face into Luke's neck. "It's not about letting you. It's about wanting you. I've never been this connected to anyone. Thank you." Luke pets down Noah's body, rests his hands in the small of his back. Noah clings until his breathing is even and he thinks maybe he can stand. "We really should clean this place up, like, with industrial strength bleach." He covers his face in his hands. "Your grandmother is going to kill me."
"You? Kill you? Are you kidding? I'm the one that just fucked you on the counter. She'll kill me first, I'm pretty sure."
The condom on the floor. The sweat on the wood. Clothes everywhere. "I think she'll kill us both at the same time. She wouldn't want us to be apart. Maybe we should both, uhh, get sort of dressed and clean this place up. After that, I'm going to need a shower."
Luke smiles. "I'll wash your back, if you'll wash mine?"
"Deal." Noah grabs at the back of Luke's neck, licks his way behind lips and teeth, gets lost in the hot, wet taste of Luke against him. He pulls back when he needs air, but doesn't want anything but Luke. "Let's clean up quickly, please."
Author: nouveau_monday
Pairing: Luke/Noah
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 6.1k-ish
Summary: AU, breaks off after Cyndi Day and shows what would have been a much better solution.
Spoilers: Haven't seen July 3rd episode yet? Don't read this if you don't want to know.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything or anyone related to this show. If I did it would be very very different. CBS and P&G, Van, Jake, I'm a little jealous of you all for owning yourselves and this story.
Notes: Much thanks, as always, to mightyten who betas as always. Plus qafaddiction and elin_aurora who did some beta-ing also.
Dedication: This would not have happened at all without Marcella, Elin, Heather and Brak. Seriously. Marcella, you're the best beta ever. Elin, it's not a naughty PM but I hope it's a decent replacement. Heather, you read everything so carefully; it's wonderful. Brak, the line about cookies being rolled on the counter was stolen from you shamelessly. Finally, in my head, this is truly dedicated to Jake and Elin's elephant, where ever it currently is.
Noah blasts country music as he heads back on to campus. He knows it's past the time when they're supposed to monitor their noise on campus and he doesn't care. He's thinking of the damned soldiers from the bases where he grew up. About pre-emptive letters home and the calls and visits to family and friends to say that their sons, daughters, wives, husbands, siblings, loved ones had died. He's remembering saying Grace in his kitchen and the Colonel offering a moment of silence after he read off the list of people who would never be returning. Noah's mind is filled with all of that, but his heart, his mouth, his dick are humming with the imprint of Luke pressed up against him less than an hour ago. What the hell was I thinking?
He has driven all over Oakdale to make sure he remembers everything. WOAK and that first kiss with Luke. Lucinda's cottage and Luke. The alley by Yo's and kissing Luke. Old Town with Luke. Every single memory stupidly entwined with Luke. The smell, taste, sound, feel of Luke everywhere. How could Noah leave knowing what Luke offered after eight months together, after waiting and wanting, after Luke nearly dying, and Ameera and the Colonel? Really, how could he leave Luke at all?
Noah slams his foot to the floorboard and fishtails before he can spin the truck around toward the farm. He's a fucking idiot. That's all there is to it. A fucking idiot, but hopefully Luke will be awesome enough to forgive him. Though, to be fair and possibly prepare himself for a really bad experience, Noah doesn't know if he'd forgive himself for being as much of an asshole as he's been. Who does that? Jesus, did he really just tell the man he loves that he wants to be back together with him but they can't have sex because he's enlisting in the army? Did he really do that? Noah can feel his skin blanching in shame. Shit. He speeds. Screw any cops that want to get in the way. Surely Margo can understand true love, and hell, she's got a son. She should be able to understand the urgency in Luke's offer and Noah's need to get the fuck there, apologize as quickly as possible, beg for forgiveness and, well, hopefully, have sex for hours, maybe days.
He stops the truck at the long turn off before the farm. His hands sweat. Can he do this? If he goes to Luke now, and Luke forgives him, will he still make it to the processing center on Monday? Can he spend the next however long his country needs him following the notion of don't ask, don't tell if he has something to tell? Hell. Noah frowns, bites at his lips. Maybe he owes it to Luke to just leave, to not make this worse, to not give in to what they both want. It might be worse if you never know. If you leave, write that just-in-case letter, but never shared yourself with him. His body supplies heated sense memories of Luke's lips, Luke's tongue in his mouth, Luke's chest against his, all of which go straight to his dick. "Okay, fuck, okay," Noah mutters at his traitorous body. "I'm going. Luke better not kick me out the door." He shoves into drive and pushes past his own fear.
There are no cars or trucks or any other sort of vehicle in sight. The kitchen light is on. Noah winces, jeans too tight, shirt uncomfortable against his skin. He shuts the truck door as quietly as possible, holds his breath, tiptoes toward the porch door. His breath releases. He wasn't aware he had been holding it in the first place. Luke sits at the table, chin in his hands. He stares into space, into the doorway that led to the den where Noah slept over Christmas. Noah watches Luke blink slowly, chew at his lower lip, swallow. Noah raises his fist to knock on the door. He pauses. This could be a really big mistake. Luke brings more chaos to his life than the storm of butterflies currently taking up occupancy in his gut. There is no order, no regulation, no stability with Luke. There is want and desire and messy emotions that don't make sense even when they're the next best things to any heaven Noah could imagine. He knocks anyway. Because really, on the other side of the door is Luke, and what more does he need?
"Noah?" Luke ushers him in, gestures toward the kitchen table. "What are you doing here? I thought? I thought you said something about heading to a processing center or something?" Luke laughs, and the bitterness break Noah's heart. "Last I checked, even with my grandmother's rules, we still can't stop you being gay. I'm certainly not going to try to convince you you're straight."
"Bet there's lots of things you could convince me of, Luke. But straight? That's definitely not one I want you to try for." Noah steps into Luke's space, manhandles him until his back is against the counter. "Do you remember last summer? Swimming at the pond? We came back, fought over that silly towel, the water on the floor, and then." Noah swallows.
"And then you slipped, and you were laying on me, and god damn, you were wet and warm and slippery. Neither of us could breathe." Luke's eyes are closed.
"And then Maddie came in, and I freaked the fuck out."
Luke frowns, nods. "Okay, that sort of spoils things. Not one of my better memories there, Noah. Why bring up ancient, and here's a hint, painful history?"
"I'm an idiot, Luke. I was an idiot then, and I'm still an idiot." Noah crowds Luke more, slips his thigh between Luke's legs and cages him with an arm on either side of his. "You let me be an idiot because you thought it was the right thing to do. You always want to do the right thing. Want me to learn my lessons for myself, even when I suspect you really just want to shake me until my neck snaps."
Luke flushes, laughs. "Sometimes?" He bites his lip, rubs experimentally against Noah's leg. "I didn't understand what was going on, and I wanted you. God did I want you."
"I wanted you too. And I was so angry about that, so angry and so scared." Noah shifts, lines their tangled bodies up from knee to shoulder. "And now I'm so scared that you're angry. I wasn't lying. I mean, I wasn't lying at Yo's, when I said we belong together. When I said you were the one. You, God, you just are. Luke, you're my everything."
"I'm sensing a 'but' here ..." Luke leans forward.
Noah's mouth tingles with the nearness of his boyfriend. He bites at the inside of his cheek. "But part of me still feels like I should enlist, like I need to do this to have everything make sense." He inhales the intoxicating sense of sweat and the farm and Luke. Noah wants to explain, but nothing comes out when he opens his mouth. I know I need to do something, to see what sort of man I am. But fuck if I didn't get onto campus and then realize how much more I needed you to see what sort of man I could become, is a scary confession and what if Luke isn't prepared to hear that? Noah nuzzles into the hollow above Luke's collarbone. "Please, Luke, I'm so sorry." Just say, I don't know, say you'll think about it, that maybe you can find your way back to loving me some day, that you'll let me blow you against the counter before you fuck me into it. Noah's knees wobble. His own proposition, the words he can't quite get out, make him weak. "Please, Luke, please. God. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry." He can't stop repeating himself, slides his arms off the counter and around Luke. "Please, please, please." Tears slip from his eyes and dampen Luke's shirt. Noah should care, should clean up, should stop being pathetic, but he's wrapped tight around Luke - something he wasn't sure he was ever going to get to do again - and they're both breathing too fast, too heavy, and Noah wants so much.
"Baby." Luke rolls his hips against Noah's. "Shh. I know you're sorry. Baby, I know. You have to do what you have to do, Noah. And if that means enlisting, I'm not going to stop you." He licks a pointed stripe from Noah's jaw to his ear and bites on Noah's earlobe. "Nothing wrong with trying to convince you that what we have here is worth it, but I'm not going to stop you." He sucks the skin behind Noah's ear, licks the sting of the quickly surfacing bruise. "You're the best kind of man I could ever want." He cups Noah's chin in his hands, forces their eyes to meet. "You're all I want. We can talk about this later, debate it endlessly, fight, cry, I don't care. But right now, for possibly the first and only time in forever, there is no one at the farm but the two of us. And if we don't get naked right now, I'll never forgive either of us." He lunges forward. Their mouths meet in a crush of teeth and lips and pain that all becomes perfect when teeth give way to tongue and wet and slick and desperate.
Luke uses Noah's surprise to his advantage and flips their position so it's Noah against the edge of the counter. Noah's taller, and it's a better angle. Luke maintains the kiss. Oxygen seems less than necessary as his hands fumble to slip under Noah's belt and against his skin. "Love you so much. Want you even more. God, Noah, you have no idea."
Noah flushes. "I've got ideas of my own."
Luke raises an eyebrow. "I noticed that." He undoes his boyfriend's belt, proud that his fingers aren't shaking. The button fly proves a little more difficult, but eventually an enthusiastic yank does the trick. "Shirt off now," Luke growls out, shocked at his own impatience.
And Noah complies immediately. "Yours too. Off. Now. Please." His words are more of a plea or a whine than Luke's and Luke finds he likes that.
Luke rests his palm against Noah's sternum and watches Noah bend back under the barest of pressure. His throat clogs at the sight of pale skin laid out on his grandmother's counter. Noah's lips are swollen and kiss slick. The pupils of his eyes are blown wide. "So beautiful." Luke trails a finger across Noah's neck, down around each nipple then further down to weave figure eights in the trail of hair below Noah's navel.
"Shut up." Noah's blush bathes his face and neck. "Guys aren't beautiful."
"You shut up, Mayer. You're beautiful when I say so. Jesus, if you could only see yourself." Luke is lost in the reflection of soft light gleaming against the counter and the shadows that shiver with each of Noah's hitched breaths. He re-positions himself to lay a wet stripe under the elastic of Noah's boxers while his hands tug at the denim, push jeans down to Noah's knees. He straightens, stares into Noah's eyes. "Whatever you need, whatever you want, tell me no right now or I'm not stopping until neither of us can walk for the next month. You have, like, five seconds before I get you completely naked and blow you until you forget your name." Luke smiles. "Five ..."
Noah catches the band of his boxers with his thumbs and shoves them down. He's not graceful. He gets tangled, bumps his head against Luke's chest, mesmerizes himself in the dusting of hair that coats Luke's stomach.
"Four..."
Noah figures out that sucking hickeys onto Luke's hips and getting naked simultaneously is not as easy as porn would have led him to believe.
"Three ..." Luke cannot stop giggling. "That tickles, Noah."
"You're still dressed, Luke. No one's here, and if they were, I wouldn't care. And even more importantly, chances are more people at the farm have seen your bare ass than mine, so can we please even things out?" Now that he's not caught in his fucking jeans, Noah bites at Luke's nipple. The raised flesh hardens beneath his teeth and tongue. He stalls at the sounds Luke makes, somewhere between a groan and a whimper. "Good?" God, he hopes that's a good noise, because Jesus, it's a hot noise.
"Good."
"Naked?" Noah whispers.
"Naked," Luke promises. He toes off his flip-flops. Noah watches Luke's hands undo his belt, button and finally his fly with confidence. Noah's hot and hard, knowing those hands are going to be on him in a moment.
Luke's commando.
Oh my god. Luke's dick. It's. Fuck. "I take it back. Guys can be beautiful. You're ..." Beautiful. Mouth watering. So fucking. Jesus. " ... I don't have words." Noah tongues his way across Luke's clavicles, slides his hands around Luke's wrists. He repositions their bodies and drops to his knees, using Luke for balance. "Need this." Don't stop me. God. Just fucking let me. Let me do this, please." Noah's breath floats across the head of Luke's dick, and he takes the almost invisible thrust of Luke's hips as agreement. Noah licks his lips, steadies his hands still clenched around Luke's wrists and opens his mouth to suck the head of Luke's dick into his mouth.
Salt, smooth, slick. Noah almost coughs, but it's Luke. So he swirls his tongue over the head again, flips his tongue underneath the crown, hopefully Luke likes that like Noah does. Luke's hands curl reflexively, reaching for Noah's shoulders. Noah obliges, lets go, and slips his hands to Luke's hips. He presses his mouth forward, hollows his cheeks. Up and down the length, slowly, and Noah nearly weeps when he manages to feel pubic hair against his nose. He swallows, prays that his gag reflex was destroyed by several bouts of the flu as a small child, because Luke is not small. His throat muscles tighten, but don't fight him, instead tightening around the intrusion, milking it. Noah's tongue flutters near the head, encourages Luke's pre-come to fill his mouth. He slides his mouth almost all the way off, surprising himself with how empty he feels. Noah's dick is throbbing, but all he wants is Luke. Luke clutching at his shoulders, adding scratches to the indents already there. Luke keening and whispering curses, praises and Noah's name as though they are one and the same. He wants everything. And for once, he can have it.
Noah fists Luke's dick in his hand, marvels at the texture - wet, slick, hard, heavy, smooth. He laps at the soft skin of Luke's balls, rolls them on his tongue while his hand keeps its slip-slide motion. He sucks damp kisses to the underside of Luke's dick, laps at the slit, returns his hands back to Luke's hips to take him fully in again. Noah's motions are frantic. He can feel Luke getting closer with each minuscule thrust against Noah's hands, in his throat. Noah shoves his nose into Luke's pubes, smells sweat and heat and this insanely intense essence of Luke. He kinda wants to bury himself in it, bathe in it, never leave. His tongue movements become harder, desperate. His mouth fills with saliva and slick bitter salt.
Luke's dick becomes impossibly bigger, longer. His fingernails are embedded under Noah's skin, in his blood, everywhere. Noah can't figure out what he should be doing, but Luke is shaking and crying and whispering his name. He thrusts once, twice, past the grip Noah has and he's coming, and god, flooding Noah's mouth. Noah takes in what he can, pulls back to get more, lets it fill his mouth. He sucks Luke through spasms and aftershocks, until they're both panting. "Holy shit," Noah murmurs. His eyes leak tears, his dick is ready to explode and he doesn't care. "Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit. That was, fuck, you were, God. I fucking love you, Luke." He wraps his arms around Luke's legs, catching him as his knees start to give.
"I can't believe you just did that." Luke pets at Noah's jaw. "I've never..." He flushes. "Never."
"Me neither." Noah kisses Luke's thigh, bites at the warm flesh. "You were amazing." His heart pounds. He did it. That mind blown, blissed out, holy shit, world rocked off its axis look on Luke's face came from Noah. He can't believe it, really, but he did it. His knees begin to make their presence known, so he slides up Luke's body. His dick hurts like a million volt electric shock whenever it touches Luke. "Love you, love you, love you," he whispers unspoken promises into golden skin. "So much. I'm so sorry. I'm an idiot. So sorry. Love you. Love you."
Luke's hands fist into Noah's hair, pulls his head back. He bites at the pronounced vein in Noah's neck, tongues across his Adam's apple. "No apologies. No 'I'm sorry'. You came back. You came back to me. We're going to be okay now, you and I. Better. Maybe even perfect." His words are hot against Noah. His hands trace insistent lines over Noah's skin.
"God, Luke, will you, can you touch me? Please, I need..." Noah chews on his lip. "I don't even know what I need." He blushes. It doesn't seem right to beg his boyfriend to suck his dick, just because he had. It hadn't been about reciprocity. "You don't have to, I mean, if you don't want to, I wasn't..." Fuck, but Noah hates his lack of words sometimes.
"Let me. I want to." And maybe Luke's voice is rough and growly, and maybe Noah thinks Luke has never sounded hotter. Noah lets himself be manhandled, lets Luke push him back until he's scrambling to sit on the counter top, to lay his back against the length of the cool wood. His legs dangle off the edge, his feet no longer able to touch the floor. Luke scrapes teeth and stubble across Noah's hips, his abdomen. He slips between and slightly under Noah's legs, so Noah's knees rest on Luke's shoulders. Luke stands, his stomach presses against the back of Noah's thighs. He runs his hands over the front of Noah's legs, snugs them against his hips. Luke aches to lick at the dark trail of hair leading to Noah's cock. He has wanted his face right there for almost a year and the irony that this is all coming to play on the counter where it started is not lost on him. He hides a laugh behind a swipe of his tongue over Noah's balls and the low oh. my. god. spilling from Noah's lips.
Luke coaxes noises from Noah by running fingers up Noah's ribs before teasing his nipples. Luke watches the in and out of Noah's breath grow shorter, thinner. He could do this for hours, play Noah's body like an instrument just to hear the sounds. But he won't, because he's not that mean, and just because Luke had an amazing orgasm and is down about a gazillion brain cells that all shot out his cock, does not mean that Noah shouldn't be equally stupid in return. He kneels down, bends forward, bypasses Noah's cock to again tongue at his balls. His fingers create a loose circle around the velvet soft shaft. Noah feels similar and yet so different from any, every, time Luke touched himself.
Luke wants to try everything immediately. He's had a list in his head for months, with some items prioritized, highlighted and starred. He worries his lip. The idea is hot. The practice is nerve wracking. He watches the shivering movements Noah cannot help but make as he tries to get enough friction to rub off on Luke's fingers. Luke shakes his head. These things wouldn't happen in porn if they weren't actually effective, right? He blows cool air across Noah's stomach, his cock, his balls. Before he can talk himself out of it, Luke lifts Noah's legs closer to Noah's chest and bends to place his tongue against the crack of Noah's ass, circles his hole like Luke knows what he's doing.
"What are you doing?" Noah's voice cracks.
Luke laughs, tongues deeper for a moment just to hear that keening noise once again. "Am I doing something wrong?" Luke frowns, inches back.
Noah's fingers shift from their grip on the butcher-block top to reaching for Luke's hair. "No, no, no, just, you don't have to. God, you could just look at me right now and I'd come." He cranes his neck up and stares down his body.
Luke smirks. "Don't want to just look at you. Want to touch you." Luke goes back to his plan with singular determination. He wants Noah wet and open, and from what he can tell, he's doing it right. Noah's ankles kick at Luke's back, tug him closer, even while his hips are arching forward. Noah's lost all coherency. Luke smiles. He did that. He reduced Noah to monosyllabic babble that could be Luke, or Love, or Fuck or something else entirely. He buries his tongue as far as he can, tries to find a steady rhythm. Noah's gasps are getting louder and this is not how Luke wants this to end. He removes his mouth with one last kiss. "Love you, Baby. Love you so much." He doesn't know if Noah can hear, almost doesn't care, because he replaces his tongue with a finger as he takes Noah's cock as deep into his mouth as he can.
Noah honest-to-god shouts and comes immediately. Luke chokes, not expecting so much so quickly. He swallows what he can and lets Noah slip from his mouth. Luke leaves his finger inside Noah, while he bites at Noah's hip. "You're incredible." He pauses. "Thank you."
Noah props himself up on his elbows. He inhales deeply as Luke's finger pushes further into him. It doesn't hurt, but it's sort of weird. "I'm incredible? Thank me? Are you high? Luke, god, you're the incredible one. I don't think I've ever come that hard in my life." He flushes. "And if you don't get your finger out of me, my dick's going to get the idea that it should be coming again really soon."
Luke shakes his head. "I have a better idea." He pushes farther, crooks his finger just so and Noah's arms slip out from behind him. His head bangs against the counter.
"Holy shit, are you okay?" Luke goes to move away, but Noah clenches his legs tight around him.
"Do that again."
Luke freezes. "But your head -"
"- Is fine." Noah shifts experimentally. "Can you? I mean..." He whines, but not in a bad way. "Do that again..."
"Oh." Luke nudges his finger again. "Like that?" Carefully moving deeper, rubbing there "Is that? Did I?"
"Again." And then Noah pushes himself up, wrapping Luke closer, pressing them as close as he can. "God, Luke. Want you inside me." He shakes his head, unable to think, unable to breathe. "Never wanted anyone like I want you. Now," He pumps his hips. "Now, now, now."
"Fuck," Luke shivers. "I wasn't ... I didn't ... Lube is upstairs. Stay right here." He kisses Noah's leg, his stomach, the head of Noah's cock already hardening again. "Right here. Shit. I'm so carrying stuff on me from now on. Promise." He laps at the smooth patch of skin where Noah's hip and leg join.
"Hurry." Noah eases his legs down. He laughs at their collective awkwardness as Luke hobbles up the stairs. That can't be comfortable. He focuses on his own body, feels like maybe he's on speed the way his heart is pounding. "Hurry faster, Luke, or I'm starting without you." He shouts up the stairs, freer than he's ever been. The stumbling thump of Luke's feet coming back down the stairs have Noah's heart trying to leave his chest. "Can't you move faster?" He strokes his dick, hears Luke, Hey, not without me! "Told you to hurry up. Now get back here and fuck me." Noah strokes up, thumbs at the sensitive spot under the crown of his dick and gasps. "Please."
Luke is more than willing to comply. He stands between Noah's legs, barely touching, at the narrow edge of the counter, and stares. "I've been waiting for this moment since I was, like, fifteen."
Noah hates that he does it, but he pouts at Luke's words. "You didn't know me until a year ago."
"I've only known you a year, but I've been waiting for now a lot longer." Luke strums his fingers at Noah's thighs. "I just didn't know I was waiting for you as well." He kisses Noah's chest, whispers words of adoration into his stomach. "Now I know." Luke tastes a combination of sweat and pre-come off his boyfriend's skin. All of this, his for the taking, laid out like a feast. "Are you ready?"
"Yes?" Noah clears his throat. "Yes."
Luke places the rubbers on the counter, flips open the cap on the lube. He tries to pour but nothing comes out. How did I manage to buy defective lube? How the fuck did that happen? He shakes the bottle.
Noah grins. "A safety seal maybe? Try unscrewing the cap?" He rips the edge of one of the foil squares, holds it out to Luke.
Noah is right. He peels away the plastic and recaps the bottle. Lube flows slick across his fingers up to his knuckles. He warms the fluid between his fingers. "I should have put the condom on first, I think." He twists his lips, glances from his fingers to his cock and back to the proffered rubber.
"Let me do it." Noah's fingers ease the condom from its wrapper. He struggles to sit up. His blood is all in his dick and his toes have started to numb. He smiles, easier now, his heart not lost in his throat. Rubbers he can do. Noah used them ... with Maddie. Okay, not something to think about. Really not something to about now. But this, this is different. This isn't his own dick. It's backwards and awkward and he's touching Luke's dick. Which, yeah, sure, it was in his mouth just a short while ago, but Noah knows where Luke's dick is about to go, and fuck if he can concentrate. His fingers are too clumsy, too long. The condom splats on the floor in a sticky heap.
They stare at each other, at the floor, at each other. They both laugh, can't help it.
"God, we suck." Luke blushes. "I didn't mean that like that." He pauses. "Well, except that I did. Because we do, or, I mean, you just did. And we will. Again? I hope? Because that was almost stupid it was so good."
Noah chews at his lip, admires the lines of Luke's chest, his neck, his fingers that are still sticky and Noah wants them inside him so much he might explode. "So, umm, look. I'm clean. I mean. I know I'm not a virgin, but I went to the school clinic earlier this year, because, well, I wanted you to know, if we ever got to this." He holds up his hands. "I mean, I didn't want to pressure you, so I never said anything, but I am. Clean, I mean. And I don't think you're gonna knock me up or anything. And you're a virgin..."
"You mean?" Luke's pupils nearly swallow the brown of his eyes. He swallows. "And you want me to ... ?"
Noah places his hands on Luke's shoulders, soothes down his arms. "I want you. I want you inside me." Noah entwines his fingers with Luke's. He pulls their collective hands to his balls. Never breaking eye contact, Noah leans back, each vertebrae against the wood burns with impatience. "Please."
Luke stops breathing for a second, maybe eternity. He manages to re-open the lube, get more out, get his finger back to Noah. He remembers to take in oxygen, remembers what he's supposed to be doing, wishes he knew more. "I'm sorry if this hurts. I've heard it does. You'll tell me, right." Luke's balls are throbbing. The first joint of his finger inside Noah is tight and warm and how will this not break Luke's dick or Noah's ass or both? His whole finger moves in, out, in again. Noah makes these sounds, half way between a whimper and a purr and Luke's pretty sure those could rock him to sleep for the rest of forever without ever having anything else happen.
But then Noah's fingers dig into the counter and he grits out, More... and Luke realizes exactly what is going to happen. On the next forward move, he adds a second finger, rubs at Noah's abdomen with his other hand, watches the muscles contract and relax as Noah's body adjusts. "So good." Luke tries to make a scissoring motion like he read about, but he's never actually seen that inside someone. There's never been a camera up any porn star's ass as far as he knows. And really, if there has been, he doesn't actually want to know.
Noah rocks, meets his fingers at every thrust. Luke coats himself in more lube, and Jesus he should just buy stock in Wet at this point, but he actually slips a third finger into Noah without too much wincing or pain. Luke's fairly certain his cock is going to fall off, or explode, or somehow malfunction if he doesn't get inside Noah soon. "Can I? Are you?"
Noah nods, beyond an ability to speak. He spreads his legs wider, screws himself down further on Luke's hand. "Nnngh," is the best he can manage to say.
Luke lubes himself up the best he can, which is to say that he almost comes just thinking about what this means. "Oh fuck, Noah." He lines his cock up. "Look at me." Noah's blue eyes hold and Luke can see the request in them, see the urgency. Luke's never been this intimate with anyone, and he'll be the first to admit he's terrified. "This is the biggest present that you could give me, and I don't care how cheesy that sounds. I love you."
"Love you too, Luke." Noah reaches out for Luke's free hand, squeezes it, tugs. And then it's happening, for real, and Luke is entering him and yeah, okay, it hurts more than Luke's fingers did. There has never been anything like this. Luke is pressed up against him, skin to skin. "Don't move."
"Shit." Luke bites at his tongue. "Easier said than done." He wraps his hand on Noah's cock, barely jacking it.
Noah arches into Luke's touch, sobs at the almost-but-not-quite-enough friction and the scrape of Luke's dick across his prostate.
"You moved! I swear. It wasn't me."
"Shut up, Luke. God, just shut up and fuck me!" Noah clenches his legs, tugs Luke on top of him. They can't kiss, can't reach each other, but Luke licks at Noah's skin, across his nipples. The sensation of Luke inside him, on top of him is almost too much. His dick loves the hot warmth of their stomachs, and more times than not Luke hits just the right spot inside of him to have Noah seeing stars. It doesn't take long before Noah's clawing at Luke's back and swearing. Too much. Too real. Too good. Too everything.
Luke's thrusts become erratic. "God. Noah." He bites down on Noah's clavicle, coming hard. Noah didn't expect to feel it, didn't know what to expect, but the unsteady jerking motions inside him, against his dick and his own desperation combine and he follows Luke over the edge into orgasm.
They stay as they are. Luke on top of Noah. Both of them stuck together by sweat, saliva and come. Noah's ass throbs now that he's coming down from his high of love and endorphins, but he doesn't want anything to change. He cards his fingers through Luke's hair, brushes blonde bangs from Luke's eyes. "We just ...."
"We did." Luke kisses Noah's chin.
"I can't feel my toes," Noah can't stop smiling.
Luke peels himself up, surveys their surrounding. "We should probably get things cleaned up."
Noah blanches. They just had sex - Luke lost his virginity - in the middle of the Snyder Farm kitchen on the counter top where Emma rolls out cookies. "Probably." His hands scrabble for Luke's. "But don't move quite yet. Stay. Inside me. Just a second longer."
"I can do that." Luke smiles. He hugs Noah, sneaks his arms around him, and adjusts them both so they're upright. He can reach Noah's mouth now and showers it with kisses. "You're a miracle. I can't believe you let me." He runs his fingers over Noah's jaw, tugs at his ear.
"Was it? Can we? Again, some time, maybe?" Noah wiggles his toes, releases Luke's hands. "I mean, if you want to."
Luke gawks. "Really? Again? You'd let me?" He slides out. "Sorry if this hurts," he kisses into Noah's skin.
Noah is boneless, positive that somehow all his strength and mobility is attached to Luke's dick, which is now outside of Noah. He melts into Luke's arms, snuggles his face into Luke's neck. "It's not about letting you. It's about wanting you. I've never been this connected to anyone. Thank you." Luke pets down Noah's body, rests his hands in the small of his back. Noah clings until his breathing is even and he thinks maybe he can stand. "We really should clean this place up, like, with industrial strength bleach." He covers his face in his hands. "Your grandmother is going to kill me."
"You? Kill you? Are you kidding? I'm the one that just fucked you on the counter. She'll kill me first, I'm pretty sure."
The condom on the floor. The sweat on the wood. Clothes everywhere. "I think she'll kill us both at the same time. She wouldn't want us to be apart. Maybe we should both, uhh, get sort of dressed and clean this place up. After that, I'm going to need a shower."
Luke smiles. "I'll wash your back, if you'll wash mine?"
"Deal." Noah grabs at the back of Luke's neck, licks his way behind lips and teeth, gets lost in the hot, wet taste of Luke against him. He pulls back when he needs air, but doesn't want anything but Luke. "Let's clean up quickly, please."