[JE] [FAIRY] Silver Cinders on the Road to Matrimony 2/2
Title: Silver Cinders on the Road to Matrimony 2/2
Fandom: KAT-TUN
Pairing: Akame
Rating: PG
Genre: Twisted fairy tale
Word count: 15,000
Disclaimer: Not mine, damnit.
Summary: lilmatchgirl007 is to blame for this one by suggesting 'Cinderella' as the next fairy tale to get the Akame treatment. Jin dreams of escaping his life of housework, leaving his stepfamily and starting over with only his dog for company. Prince Kame dreams of marrying for love, not politics, and Yamapi...probably dreams of food. When the prince throws a ball to find himself a suitor, a visit from a fairy godmother sets Jin's dreams on the path to becoming reality...
Author's Notes: I play fast and loose with names here, so there's no consistency. First names, surnames, nicknames, you name it. I shamelessly throw in random JE guys, and please be warned that Junno is a dog for most of this fic. A very cute one, with a tail that wags a lot. ^_^
Silver Cinders on the Road to Matrimony 2/2
Jin gazed at the prince, an auburn-haired vision in white, and wished the butterflies in his stomach would stop dancing the tango. What did *he* know about protocol? The fairy hadn't told him how to behave, damn it, just to get out there and enjoy himself, which he was going to have a hard time doing if the guards threw him out for accidentally insulting the prince.
Junno, he knew, wouldn't have been much help. His pet had loved every moment of the car ride, so much so that he'd deliberately taken several scenic routes to lengthen the journey, thereby ensuring Jin was better than fashionably late. Though he had to admit, the dog wasn't a bad driver. He didn't speed, except when everybody else did, and he only tried to chase his non-existent tail once when they were waiting at the traffic lights.
Jin had left him in the car because they'd had to park round the far side of the palace, where the lighting wasn't so good, and he didn't want to take the chance of annoying Ueda by getting his toy all smashed up. He'd continued on by himself, encountering plenty of inebriated young men but no real obstacles until the herald had asked him for his name, the better to announce him with, and he couldn't all very well have answered truthfully. His stepbrothers would know he wasn't at home doing the ironing, and if they knew, so would their mother. The witch would lock him up till his eighteenth birthday, or longer if she could arrange it - he didn't put it past her to try to keep her unpaid housekeeper slaving away, even after he'd come of age.
And if that happened...Jin didn't know what he'd do. Lose his mind, probably, because some days, the thought of attaining his freedom was all he had to keep him going. If he lost that hope, he lost everything.
But for this one night, at least, he was free. Now all he had to do was not screw up.
It occurred to Jin that, being in the presence of royalty, he really ought to remove his hat. With one hand he swept the fedora neatly to his side, tossing his head so his curls bounced back into place, and prompting a gasp from the crowd as his face was revealed.
The prince didn't gasp, but his lips curved up into a smile and he looked pointedly at his outstretched hand.
Jin could take a hint, even if he wasn't entirely sure what the correct procedure for acting on it was. He decided he couldn't possibly go wrong with being *too* subservient, so he knelt down on one knee and took the prince's hand in his free one, pressing his lips gently against the pale skin.
Was there some sort of manual to cover these situations, he wondered? How long were you supposed to stay like that, and when could you stand up again? Did you have to bow too?
Help presented itself as Prince Kame gave a subtle tug on his hand, enough to signify that Jin's lips were about to overstay their welcome, and he withdrew, shifting gracefully to his feet. He was about to retreat into the crowd in order to get his bearings when he spotted his stepbrothers staring at him with mouths open wide. It was clear that they didn't recognise him - how could they when Jin barely recognised *himself*? - but he didn't want to give them any opportunity for a better look.
Luckily, the prince came to his rescue this time as well. "Want to dance?" he asked smoothly, and the butterflies in Jin's stomach switched from the tango to the foxtrot.
Nevertheless, Jin endeavoured to sound as laidback and confident as the image he projected. "Love to," he replied, equally smoothly, and the prince's smile evolved into an outright smirk, which Jin dared to match.
Suddenly, Prince Kame seized both Jin's hat and his own and flung them at a nearby table, narrowly missing a bottle of wine and a half-finished chocolate mousse. He signalled to the band to resume play and it wasn't long before music drowned out the gossip still working its way round the ballroom.
(A temporary problem involving the bassist, who'd passed out after spending five minutes alone with Prime Minister Nagase, was resolved by persuading Count Maruyama to break away from his circle of eight and substitute himself for the fallen musician.)
Jin looked mournfully at his hat, which was bound to cause a sensation when it vanished off the table at midnight. "I'll be needing that back," he said before he could stop himself.
"Later," said the prince. "You look better without it, and I like to be able to see who I'm dancing with."
"But Kame," came a wail from behind them, "you told me I should wear a mask last time we danced!"
The prince rolled his eyes and ignored the man's despair, putting one hand on Jin's hip and spinning him out onto the dancefloor before anyone else could say a word.
Jin figured if he wanted to enjoy himself, he had to act confident, keep calm, and above all else, not annoy the prince. "Your Highness, did you really tell that guy to wear a mask?" he enquired as they danced, making sure his tone was equal parts amusement and approval.
Prince Kame sighed. "Just call me Kame - everyone else I dance with does. And yes, I told him that. We were at a masked ball, it's traditional. The idiot just wanted everyone to know he was dancing with the prince."
"Weren't you wearing a mask?"
"Of course...but they always know." The prince sighed again, a touch melodramatically, obviously fishing for sympathy.
Jin didn't feel inclined to give it to a man who didn't seem to have any problems more meaningful than his social life, so he dipped the prince as a distraction. He hadn't been dancing in years, but he'd lost none of his knack, and if nothing else, all the housework had kept him amazingly supple.
Kame wasn't bad himself, and once he stopped looking round to see who was watching, he loosened up a lot, letting his jacket slip carelessly over his shoulders as he danced. The rather energetic dance movements might have had something to do with it - Jin didn't think he'd had a workout this thorough since the last time he'd had to clean the entire house single-handedly.
All was well for five fast dances, and anyone trying to cut in was rudely brushed aside with a wave of the Royal Painted Fingernails. The other guests eventually stopped watching and continued with their own amusements; the servants circulated with more drinks, ensuring that no one was sober enough to focus too hard on the prince and his partner anyway. They had neither the breath nor the quiet to talk, so enthusiastic was the band: there was no need to concern themselves with idle chit-chat.
No, it was when the first slow number began that Jin was suddenly left with the problem of where to put his hands, and how to step, and why was the prince's left arm snaking round under his coat to wrap around his waist?
"Do you mind?" Kame murmured. "I like the feel of silk."
Jin's breath hitched as warm fingers brushed against his skin through the slits in the back of the shirt. "That's not silk."
"Close enough." Kame stepped quickly to the side to avoid Jin's boot coming down on his toes, and lightly squeezed the other man's hand where it rested in his right. "For the sake of my feet, would you *please* stop fighting it and let me lead?"
"Does everybody just give in to you?" Jin blurted out.
Kame nodded. "Mostly. It's nothing personal, but you're heavier than I am and my toes are the ones at risk, so let me guide you, okay?"
Reluctantly, Jin fell into step with his partner, resisting the urge to control the prince's movements with a hand on the small of his back. He wasn't used to having to work in unison with someone else, was too accustomed to having sole responsibility for his own body, and the idea of handing over that control to someone else, even a prince, riled him.
"You're even cute when you pout, but it doesn't go with the outfit," Kame commented. His expression was calculating, as if he was trying to figure out exactly how Jin should be attired to match.
When the prince broke out in a broad grin, Jin didn't want to know what he was thinking. Even so, it was bound to be more flattering than the thoughts of the small contingent of jealous men who were watching them from the corner of the ballroom, scowling darkly and making murderous gestures in Jin's direction.
Kame followed Jin's gaze and pointed to them with his chin. "Don't let them bother you. They're just envious because I'm dancing with a beautiful stranger and they can't write you hate mail because they have no idea who you are."
That had Jin worried. Could the prince somehow know his identity? "Neither do you, right?"
Kame removed his hand from Jin's back long enough to twirl him. "Right. But I assumed that if you wanted me to know, you'd have told me."
This wonderful, warm, squishy moment of perfect understanding was sabotaged by Viscount Kusano, who tackled the prince to the ground in his efforts to tear him away from Jin. The palace guards followed in hot pursuit but were too late to prevent Kame ending up on the floor. Kusano was dragged away in chains to the sound of Kame yelling at him about ruining his outfit, and Jin, watching the whole affair in quiet amusement, decided the upper classes were all quite mad.
"Knew I should've worn the black leather ones," Kame muttered as he dusted himself off. "Everything shows on white."
"I wasn't expecting *you* to get attacked," Jin said. "I thought he was running towards me."
"Kusano's been chasing me for months. He's a bit...possessive," Kame explained. "In his world, going to one party together makes you engaged."
"Your exes always stalk you?"
Kame cast a wary look over the rest of the ballroom. Kusano's interruption had put a stop to the dancing, and once again, the prince and his partner had everyone's attention. "Only the really persistent ones." He seized Jin's hand and pulled him towards the door. "Come on, I need some air. Maybe they'll all get back to dancing if we absent ourselves for a while."
A short jog through the gardens later and Jin found himself in the middle of a gigantic hedge maze, with no idea how to reach the exit again.
"They'll never find us in here," Kame assured him, and threw himself down on the grass on the grounds that his trousers were already ruined, and green stains couldn't make matters much worse. Jin, all too familiar with the hidden perils of laundry, didn't bother to correct him.
Seeing as how the prince didn't seem to be much for propriety anymore, Jin considered it not to be a grave social faux pas if he joined him on the grass. It would've been silly for him to continue standing, after all. He tucked his coat underneath him and sank down, wrapping his arms around his knees.
"You don't have to sit a mile away, you know. I don't bite," Kame said.
"You don't?" Jin had meant to sound disbelieving, but ended up sounding disappointed instead.
The prince picked up on it and winked at him. "Not unless you ask me nicely."
Jin turned away to hide his pained expression. "I don't ask for anything."
"Why?" Kame asked gently. "Because you don't think you'll get it?"
"Because if you tell somebody what you want, they have power over you." He'd learned that soon enough after his father's remarriage. Accepting what he was given was one thing: asking for something else was quite another. He hadn't even asked to go to the ball - a fairy godmother had appeared and told him he was going, and since this coincided nicely with Jin's wishes, he'd gone along with it.
The lanterns strung at intervals along the hedges cast coloured lights over the area, tinting everything with warm reds and yellows, cool blues and greens. When Jin sneaked a look back at the prince, he couldn't tell if the flushed face was due to the lighting or a sympathetic blush.
He decided it must have been the former when Kame shrugged and said, "I don't know who you are but you're obviously not a noble, or you'd be telling everyone what you want all the time and kicking up a fuss if you didn't get it."
Jin snorted. "Are you going to tell me you're any different? What would a prince know about working to get what he wants, without relying on anyone else?"
"Not much," Kame agreed cheerfully. "I've never had a problem getting anything I want...well, just *one* thing..."
Jin made a 'go on' gesture.
"You know why I threw this ball, right?" Kame asked.
"I heard it was because you're looking for a..." Jin wasn't sure which term was appropriate so he rephrased it. "You're looking for someone to marry," he said diplomatically.
"Yeah, that's it. It feels like the entire kingdom's trying to pressure me into it, and that's fine, I understand, it's my duty to produce an heir and everything, but they can't choose for me." Kame's voice hardened, filling with steely determination. "When I marry, it will be to someone of my choosing."
"Congratulations."
"You don't have to be sarcastic about it. Is it so bad to want to marry for love and not politics?"
Jin did his utmost to avoid politics, largely because all the politicians he'd ever met were incredibly dull. "I don't think that's a bad thing."
"And that's what I want. Someone who'd love me even without my rank, my money and my looks."
It amused Jin no end that the prince shuddered terribly when contemplating the loss of his good looks. Still, even taking into account the occasional mild bursts of vanity, he didn't seem like a bad guy. Not as domineering as Jin had been expecting, and he had a sense of humour.
"I'm pretty sure the guy you just had dragged away in chains meets your criteria," he cracked. "He seems desperate enough to take you any way he can get you."
Kame looked decidedly queasy at the thought. "I'm not interested in stalkers and men who throw themselves at me. No challenge."
"You want someone who'll make you work for it," Jin speculated.
"Something so important is worth the effort, isn't it?" Kame twisted a blade of grass between his fingers until it broke, then seized a replacement without looking and began to give it the same treatment.
A nervous gesture, Jin thought. His father had had the same habit, though in his case he'd twisted a length of ribbon, and only when he was anxious about something. Could he, Jin Akanishi, a mere merchant's son, be making the prince nervous?
Though he had to admit, his mostly-black ensemble did look a little intimidating - a bit like an incredibly stylish gunslinger - so perhaps it was only natural that the prince was feeling ill-at-ease. He shot Kame a reassuring smile and was heartened when the other man responded in kind, fingers ceasing their motions - much to the relief of the grass.
"Anything your heart truly desires is worth the effort," Jin said eventually, thinking of his one-month countdown to freedom and the lengths he'd gone to to ensure his plans remained a secret. Once, he'd been indignant, believing that as his deceased father's only son, he alone had the right to the house and property, and that once he came of age he would be in a position to evict his stepfamily.
After a while he'd realised that even if he had the house to himself, it wouldn't be home, and deposing the woman who had legitimately been his father's wife would only give him a moment's petty satisfaction.
The only solution, as Jin saw it, was to start again elsewhere, to carve a new life for himself. (Along with his dog, of course.) And for that, he was prepared to do anything.
He should've seen the next question coming. "And what does *your* heart desire?" the prince asked him. "What do you want most in the world?"
Telling Kame what he wanted, Jin discovered, was not the same as trying to convey his wishes to his stepfamily. They'd only use them against him, offer them as bait to make him compliant. But a prince, no matter how capricious, would have no incentive to do the same.
"What do I want, hmm?" He unwrapped his arms from his knees and stretched his legs out on the grass, crossing one booted leg over the other. If he looked casual, maybe he could manage to sound casual. "I want...to start again. I want a new life, where no one can give me orders and I can be myself."
Kame reached out and put a hand in the crook of his elbow. "Are you being yourself now?"
Jin was surprised by the urgency in the prince's voice, by the way his fingers curled tightly around Jin's arm. "That hurts! And yes, I'm being myself. I wasn't until after the first few dances, when I realised that just because you're royalty doesn't mean you don't say and do stupid things."
Kame's grip loosened, and when he laughed, Jin could feel it in the tug at his sleeve. "I get that from my dad."
Kame's family situation was fairly unusual; Jin surmised in this instance he was talking about King Takki as Queen (it was a non-gendered job title) Tsubasa didn't seem nearly so goofy. "My stepmother's heart would be broken," he said lightly. "She thinks he's perfect."
"You have a stepmother, huh?"
Jin cursed himself mentally for letting the detail slip out, especially since the prince had all but jumped on it. He tried to sound casual but his interest was evident in the eagerness of his tone, in the way his grip tightened before checking itself and easing off. Jin did his best to dissaude him from pursuing the matter further by snapping "Yes, I have a stepmother" and clamping his mouth shut.
It didn't work. "You have any brothers or sisters?"
There had to be hundreds of people in the kingdom with stepfamilies, didn't there? It wasn't as if the prince could possibly identify Jin just because he told him the truth. "Two stepbrothers," he said reluctantly. "We don't really get along that well." That might have been true but it was a blatant understatement.
"You're so lucky." Kame sighed enviously. "I don't have any siblings at all. It was difficult enough for my parents to have me in the first place, they refused to have any more children."
"If you want my stepbrothers you're welcome to them!" Jin meant it, every word. "They're probably back there in the ballroom, waiting for your return so they can make you fall madly in love with them."
"Both of them?"
"They're prepared to fight it out for you, but I don't think their mother's picky about who wins."
Somehow, during the course of the conversation, Kame had managed to sidle unobtrusively up to Jin. They sat together, a study in black and white (and occasionally other colours where the lantern light hit them), Kame nudging Jin's hip with his own where his hand had been earlier.
"Maybe she isn't but I am!" Kame protested, laughing.
Jin waved his hand dismissively. "Trust me, you don't want either of them."
"So I should pick you instead?"
Jin opened his mouth to answer before he heard the question, and once the words filtered through his brain, he realised he didn't even know what to say.
Not that it mattered. Kame wouldn't have heard him anyway - chimes rang out on every hour from the ancient palace clock tower, and after the last count of eleven, Jin had vowed to keep a close eye on the time.
That vow had been quickly forgotten, and the clock was striking twelve now.
Midnight. Time for the magic to end.
-----
"Wait!" Kame yelled as the beautiful stranger leapt to his feet and looked around frantically for the exit. "Don't go! I didn't mean to upset you!"
He could've kicked himself for ruining the mood. Obviously, his mysterious new dance partner had a fear of commitment, which Kame should've worked out earlier from his responses about starting a new life and being himself. Hinting - even in jest - about matrimony had been an impossibly stupid move, and one that Kame was going to regret for the rest of his life if he didn't do something.
He scrambled up and made a grab for the black-clad man, who easily evaded his lunge and took flight through the hedge. No exit was apparent - clearly, he was so upset by Kame's words that he was desperate enough to make his own.
"Wait!" Kame called again. "How do you feel about co-habitation?"
But it was too late. By the time Kame managed to unsnag his bangs from a particularly vicious hedge, his quarry was long gone, leaving only a faint impression in the grass...and...
There! A gleam of silver!
Kame delved into the bushes and retrieved the bright, shiny earring, the lady he'd seen dangling against his dance partner's curls. It was a clue, all he had to lead him to his mystery man, and Kame wasn't going to waste this chance.
He headed back to the ballroom to find everyone in an uproar.
"We thought you'd eloped!" Yamapi cried breathlessly as he ran up to Kame.
"After a few dances? Do I look that easy?"
Yamapi pointed to the very obvious grass stains on Kame's once-white trousers. "I know where you were!" he crowed. "So? What happened? Who is he? And...uh..." he looked around, puzzled, "where is he?"
"Nothing happened, I don't know but I'm going to find out, and he ran away."
"Oh." Yamapi snatched up a dish of chocolate-covered strawberries and began comfort-eating on his friend's behalf. "What did you do to make him run away?"
"I'm not really sure." Kame retrieved his long-forgotten hat, wondered for a moment when the stranger had had time to retrieve *his* since it wasn't there anymore, and sank down into the chair a helpful courtier pushed under him. "I don't think he's keen on marriage."
"Too bad. You guys would've looked great together in the wedding photos."
"Wouldn't we just?"
Having his ego stroked cheered Kame up a little, and he turned his attention to the task at hand. The earring was his only lead, and while, as a prince, it was a tad tricky to follow it up himself, he had at his disposal one man who was equally familiar with the intricacies of jewellery shopping.
One week later...
Yamapi had spared no effort in tracking down the origins of the earring. Accompanied by a succession of pretty young things, he'd visited every jeweller in the kingdom, and the answer he'd come back with was this:
The earring and matching necklace worn by the stranger had been custom-made for the fifteenth birthday present of the son of the merchant who'd had them commissioned, and the jeweller had never made another piece of that design. Unfortunately, he didn't remember the name of the merchant, nor did he have it in his records, meaning that they were no closer to identifying the prince's mystery man.
Not until Kame had a bright idea. The young man in black still had the other half of the set (assuming he hadn't thrown the necklace away when he'd noticed the loss of the earring, and Kame didn't even want to think about that), and therefore all they had to do was find a man with a matching chain.
But they had to be cunning about it. Kame was under no illusions about this: if they publicised the earring's design and asked for anyone owning the match to come forward, half the men in the kingdom would own identical pieces within a week. They would have to keep it a secret. There was no guarantee that even so beautiful a stranger would be easily identified - he had, no doubt, dressed up for the ball and might look completely different in everyday life.
And thus the hunt began in the form of a road trip, as Yamapi and a handful of bodyguards drove around the kingdom, going from house to house and requesting all men in the right age bracket to bring out their necklaces. Word spread quickly, and before long, the young men were waiting on their front lawns, decked out in every shiny bauble they could find, hoping that the prince's hunting party would drive by.
(Alas, it was considered far too dangerous for Prince Kame to tour the kingdom himself, since he was both the heir and an only child, and so he had to stay at home.)
Kame called Yamapi every day to find out how the search was going, but there was never any news. Not until the day the hunting party visited the house of the Widow Akanishi...
-----
"Hurry, hurry!" the witch urged. "I've just had a call from Cousin Sophia and they're on their way! Haven't you finished cleaning yet, boy?"
Jin dodged his stepmother's flying handbag, thrown out of sheer impatience, and settled for sweeping everything into the kitchen instead. "I'm done," he said sullenly.
His mood had been terrible since the night of the ball. He'd been having a wonderful evening with the prince, dancing and talking, slowly discovering exactly why it was that Kame was so beloved by his people, when the stroke of midnight had put a stop to it in the worst way. With no idea how to leave the maze normally, he'd been forced to plough through the hedges until he escaped the outer wall, and from there had sprinted back to the car, not stopping to collect his hat.
The car, much to his surprise, was still there, and so was the driver. Junno had picked up on his master's urgency and got them back to the house in less than ten minutes, driving so fast that Jin could only assume that they hadn't been pulled over for speeding because no one stood a chance of catching them. The resulting breeze did an excellent job of removing the twigs and leaves that had caught in his curls, too.
By the time they got home, Jin's clothes had reverted to tatty jeans and a shirt and the car was just beginning to shrink. He scrambled out as fast as he could and watched the Ferarri grow smaller and smaller until it became a toy once more, at which point it vanished into thin air, presumably back into Ueda's pocket.
Ten minutes later, Jin was back in the house, curled up with a blanket and a box of doggy treats. Not with Junno, because even though his canine companion was once again a happy black Labrador with a tail that just wouldn't quit, Jin found it a trifle difficult to adjust to petting the creature who'd just driven him home. Junno whined, giving Jin the big puppy-dog eyes, and lay down on the floor next to the bed to catch the treats with his mouth. Jin had promised him, after all.
It wasn't the end Jin had been anticipating to his evening. At least the ironing had stayed done, even if all the other magic had unravelled, but not only had Jin done the complete opposite of everyone else and actually run away from the prince without so much as a word of explanation, but he'd managed to lose his precious earring in the process.
He was so dejected over it that he couldn't even be bothered to hide the necklace anymore, just tucked it under his shirt where his family couldn't see it. It made him feel a little better, like he was someone special, having something so treasured next to his skin.
That, and hearing his stepbrothers come home raving about the unknown beauty at the ball who'd so captivated the prince. Sure, Jin knew nothing could ever have come of it, but it was still flattering to think that he'd been the envy of so many people.
It was also astonishing just how clueless his stepbrothers were, not recognising him simply because he'd left his hair loose and not worn a bandana, but perhaps he should've expected that.
His stepmother, naturally, was fuming over the whole affair. Her boys had been shunned in favour of some unknown hussy, (which was probably the most flattering of the terms she'd used to describe him), and she was ready to tear out his hair by the roots if she ever caught him.
That is, until she heard about the prince's search. After that, she'd driven Jin to distraction with her incessant demands for cleaning. Everything had to be perfect.
Perfection, as it turned out, didn't include Jin. Once the house was satisfactory he was banished to the kitchen and ordered to remain there. When he protested at this, his stepmother pointed out that not only did he not have any jewellery to show the prince's man, but he hadn't been at the ball and thus could not possibly be sought-after stranger.
Jin's retort that it obviously wasn't Koki or Nakamaru either didn't sit well with their mother, and she locked him in the kitchen with orders to prepare dinner.
"She can get her own dinner," Jin muttered vehemently into Junno's floppy ear. "She'll be so upset when they're both turned down she probably won't want to eat anyway."
He took up a position behind the kitchen door, prying open the small sliding panel so he could hear what was going on. Junno stayed silently by his master's side, reaping the occasional reward of a pat on the nose. Jin could picture them now, all waiting eagerly in the parlour, every necklace they owned hanging round their necks in an attempt to outdo each other.
Voices carried easily down the hall: strangers now, men from the palace. Jin thought he recognised one of them as the man who'd come up to speak to Kame a couple of times while they were dancing. A noble, most likely. They wouldn't hear him if he yelled, and even if he did manage to draw their attention to himself and show them the necklace tucked under his shirt, who'd believe he hadn't stolen it?
The prince would've, but then, Kame was the only person who'd gotten a real look at him face-to-face - everyone else had seen him from a distance on the dancefloor, few daring to approach quite so close to the prince.
Would Jin have gone with them if he could? He didn't know. Kame's last words to him had sounded suspiciously marriage-oriented, and while that would've fit in nicely with Jin's plans to start over, he wasn't sure that tying himself down to a whole new family was the right way to go about it. The last lot of relatives he'd acquired hadn't worked out so well, after all.
On the other hand, he hadn't been able to stop thinking about the prince since he'd escape the maze. It didn't matter what he was doing. If he peeled potatoes, they had Kame's face. If he scrubbed the floor, Kame's features appeared in the suds. When he closed his eyes at night, Kame haunted his dreams. Jin didn't believe in love at first sight, but he was willing to concede like, at the very least, and a definite interest which, from the prince's expressions and behaviour, he judged to be returned.
And he was damned attractive, but that was neither here nor there.
Anguished wails floated down the hall to the kitchen - someone had just been rejected. Jin snickered to himself and wondered which one it was.
Another anguished wail, followed by a third - clearly, the witch was getting in on it too. But she'd missed out on her chance to see one of her sons married to the prince. Surely the party would be leaving now?
From a corner of the kitchen, unseen by anyone bar Junno, a small tornado of fairy dust spun wildly, quadrupling its size in a flash and tearing all the pots and pans from the wall. The cookware hit the floor with a tremendous crash; the dog howled, adding his voice to the noise, and if Jin hadn't been covering his ears he might have heard the following conversation...
"Is there someone else in the house?" Yamapi asked as he prepared to leave.
"Well..." the Widow Akanishi hedged. "There's my poor dear husband's son from his first marriage, but he's a bit simple - almost a danger to himself, really - so we keep him shut away. He likes to play with the saucepans, so we let him do that and it seems to keep him happy."
"That's very nice of you," Yamapi said politely, "but I still have to see him, on the prince's orders."
"But he couldn't possibly be the man you're looking for! Why, he's never even been to the palace!"
Her protests were all in vain as Yamapi turned on his heel and headed for the kitchen door, guards in tow. Jin missed all this entirely as he was trying to pick up all the pots and pans, utterly baffled as to what had caused them to leap off their respective hooks, and thus remained unenlightened until a key turned in the lock, and the door was flung open.
Jin saw the bodyguards first and picked up a particularly large skillet to defend himself with.
Yamapi elbowed the others aside and pushed his way into the kitchen where the fur on his boots was promptly attacked by Junno. "It's okay," he said, holding up his hands in a show of peace. "I'm not here to take your pots and pans away. I just want to talk for a minute, okay, and then you can go right back to playing."
"Huh?" Jin set the skillet down behind him and tried to figure out why the young noble was talking to him like he was five years old. "You're not staying for dinner, are you? Because I haven't started cooking yet."
It was Yamapi's turn to look baffled. "Uh...I never turn down food, but we've still got a lot of houses to try so..."
"Of course you should stay for dinner," Jin's stepmother cooed. "We'd be delighted to have your company. Jin, you're making extra."
"I thought you said he was simple," Yamapi said suspiciously. "Why are you letting him cook? Aren't you afraid he'll burn the house down?"
Jin's look of disbelief clinched it for him. Yamapi strode across the room, slightly hampered by Junno savaging his boots, till he was inches away from Jin. He scrutinised him closely - the young man's face looked very familiar - and caught a glint of silver peeking out from the collar of the ragged grey shirt.
Years of practice had made him adept at tearing open shirts, and the worn material parted easily to reveal a silver lady, the missing partner to the earring Yamapi had in a pouch round his neck. He pulled it out and held it up for comparison, prompting furious gasps from the doorway.
"You found my earring," Jin said happily, forgetting to be angry about his shirt. He plucked his missing lady from Yamapi's hand and pushed it through the hole in his ear.
Then he ripped off the bandana and removed the band round his hair, shaking his head to let the curls fall free, and the gasps from the doorway increased in volume.
Yamapi immediately grabbed him by both hands. "You have to come back with me! Kame sent me to find you and he's going to be so happy now I finally have!"
"I...uh..." Jin didn't know how to respond, but Yamapi's grin was infectious and Jin thought he could manage to return that, anyway.
"It was you?" came a voice from the doorway, and Jin looked across to see the incredulous faces of his stepbrothers.
"Where'd you get the outfit?" Koki asked. "It wasn't anywhere near as fancy as the stuff you made for us."
"But it looked better," Nakamaru added, and flashed Jin an encouraging smile.
Koki scowled, then melted into a smile of his own. "I guess it did. Go on, get out of here. Go marry a prince."
Jin's stepmother burst into noisy tears. Nakamaru attempted to reassure her. "Cheer up, Mama. You'll still get to be the mother of a princess."
That snapped Jin out of his bliss-induced confusion in a hurry. "Princess! Just wait a minute-"
"It's a non-gendered job title," Yamapi interrupted, and pulled Jin towards the door before Junno could do any more damage to his clothing.
-----
One year later...
"Stop!" Yamapi yelled, and threw himself in front of the door so Kame couldn't possibly walk through it. "It's bad luck to see the bride all dressed up before the wedding!"
Kame shook his head wearily. The ceremony hadn't even started yet and he was already exhausted. "It's nice of you to be concerned about my luck, Pi, but I'm not marrying a bride! I had a hard enough time getting Jin to accept my proposal in the first place, so please don't make him regret it at the last moment."
"I can hear you guys, you know," came a muffled voice from the other side of the door. "Any more cracks about a bride and I'm going to set Junno loose on your respective wardrobes."
Kame winced and motioned for Yamapi to keep his mouth shut or else. Jin's beloved dog had slotted nicely into life at the palace, making himself a favourite with everyone - more so than Jin's stepfamily, who had insisted on coming with. The brothers weren't so bad, once he got used to their sense of humour, but Kame had the feeling he was about to acquire the stepmother-in-law from hell. Jin was in the lead in the in-law stakes, since he was getting not one but two fathers-in-law instead - ones who looked less than a decade older than him.
A Royal Wedding was a special event for the entire kingdom, and consequently, everyone of note had been invited. Even Viscount Kusano had made it on to the guest list, on the understanding that he didn't touch a drop of alcohol and was never less than thirty paces away from the prince. He'd accepted eagerly.
Surprisingly, so had Ueda, the professional Fairy Godmother responsible for Kame meeting the love of his life in the first place. The whole story had spilled out the same afternoon Yamapi had brought Jin back to the palace, and while all concerned felt it was a somewhat unorthodox situation, there was no denying that it had worked out. The wedding date had been set that very night, and it was then that the problems started.
When Kame's parents had decided that there would be a year-long engagement before the wedding, Kame thought they were being...well...killjoys. What he hadn't realised (but they all too obviously had) was that it was actually going to take him that long to talk Jin into marrying him.
"If we don't get out to the garden soon, everyone's going to worry that we've eloped!" Kame called through the door. "I think it's only traditional for *one* of us to be late. I don't mind if you want it to be you, but can you let me know in the next five minutes?"
"I'm ready *now*," came an answering growl, and Jin stepped through the door. "I look like a chess piece."
"Then I must be your opposite number," Kame remarked.
The black-and-white combination had worked so well for them at the ball that they'd decided to redo it for their wedding, but reversed, with Jin in white and Kame in black, both wearing silver jewellery. No hats this time, and both had opted to do without ties. The photos were going to be glorious.
Whether the honeymoon was going to be equally glorious, Kame wasn't sure. For security reasons, they were going to a location so secret even he didn't know where it was, accompanied by a contingent of bodyguards and a sorcerer Takki had talked into a working vacation. Getting time alone with Jin might be a problem - though possibly less difficult than it had been all year, since they'd finally be married and only a royal decree could separate them.
It wasn't easy, Kame had discovered, to court a guy when he insisted on climbing out of windows, hiding out in the sub-basements to practise his guitar and taking off on long, rambling walks in the woods with his dog, frequently giving palace security a nightmare and Kame what he thought might have been the onset of a heart attack.
It wasn't so much, as Kame had originally thought, that Jin had a fear of commitment. It wasn't even that he had a fear of Kame, as many passion-filled nights had proven. (Neither of them felt inclined to wait for their wedding night, and Jin's stepfamily-suppressed hormones had nearly killed them both the first time.)
He just didn't seem to want to be part of the family.
-----
The last year had gone by in a whirl for Jin, starting with his being brought back to the palace. The first person to greet him had been Kame himself, and after that...well...
It wasn't that he didn't want to be part of this warm, loving family, with all that entailed. He did want it, desperately - had wanted it since his father's remarriage. But he couldn't shake the feeling that somehow, it was all going to go wrong, and he was going to come off worse for it. He was going to tie himself down on a sinking ship, lose his freedom...lose everything.
He flinched as Kame took his arm.
"If you run away when we're walking down the aisle, I'm going to have the guards handcuff us together," Kame whispered to him as they finally began to stroll out to the garden where everyone was waiting for them.
"You could run away with me?" Jin suggested. Elopement would get them away from everyone, family included.
Junno, following along behind them with Yamapi, gave a mournful whine at this.
"Don't worry, boy," Yamapi said, stroking the dog's glossy black coat. "If they run away, we'll run after them and drag them back. They have to be here so I can give my speech at the reception."
The palace gardens were enormous, not counting the orchards, the vegetable gardens and the maze. Or the sunken garden, which wasn't really suitable to hold a wedding. The minister was waiting for them at the far end, and everywhere Jin looked, people were smiling.
Everyone was happy. Jin did his best to imitate them.
Unfortunately, Kame wasn't fooled.
"What?" he murmured as they walked arm-in-arm. "I had them take all mentions of princesses out of the ceremony, and all the references to obedience and providing an heir. What else do you want me to do?"
Jin shook his head. "Sorry," he whispered back. "I guess I'm just tense. Don't worry about it."
"Can you two walk a little faster?" Yamapi muttered from behind them. "I'm starved, and we have to get you married off before I can eat."
He was ignored by everyone except Junno, who turned a neat somersault at the mention of food.
"How can I not worry about whether or not the person I'm about to marry is going to suddenly run straight past the minister and climb over the back fence!" Kame hissed. "I'm a prince, you've got a fairy godmother - aren't we supposed to have a fairy-tale wedding and live happily ever after?"
"Yeah, but I'm supposed to be female, we're both supposed to be virgins, and you're supposed to be more interested in jousting than painting your nails!"
Kame coloured slightly. "I could paint little lances on them?" he offered.
Jin sighed. It was going to be a long ceremony.
Much to everyone's surprise, the wedding actually went with very few hitches. So much of the wording had been cut out that the minister only got to speak for about two minutes, thirty seconds of which was him asking if somebody could *please* stop this dog from nibbling on his robes, and all mentions of gender had been carefully removed by the queen himself.
Kame said his vows first, meaning every word. Jin had, as promised, made him work for it, and it had been worth every second.
Jin's vows had come as a surprise to everyone except Yamapi, who, unbeknownst even to Jin himself, had edited them to take out all references to commitment, and indeed to everything except love. All Jin had to do was promise to love Kame, and that, he had no qualms about promising. The first hints of attraction he'd felt the night they met had blossomed into something far more serious as he'd gotten to know the young prince, and Kame's greeting when he arrived at the palace under Yamapi's escort had told Jin all he needed to know about Kame's feelings for him.
The minister sounded positively relieved when he pronounced them married and told them they could now kiss each other, and while he headed straight for the bar, followed closely by some of Duke Subaru's cronies, Jin and Kame opted to follow his instruction.
It was by no means a first kiss for either of them, or even one of their first hundred, but it might as well have been for the hush that fell over the crowd. Yamapi was the first to cheer; the rest, human and canine alike, were quick to join in.
"Did you change my vows as well?" Jin asked under the noise of the crowd.
Kame shrugged. "Not my doing. I think our best man might have had a hand in it, though - I saw him talking to the minister earlier. Did you answer honestly?"
Jin didn't even need to think about it. "Yeah. It was a lot easier than I thought it would be."
"Considering that the night I proposed, I had to climb up half the trees in the orchard to find which one you'd fallen asleep in after climbing out of your bedroom window again, you walked into matrimony today without too many problems."
"That's because..." Jin hesitated, then shot Kame a playful grin. "Because when I was vowing to love *you*, it hit me that I wasn't marrying your family. Not that I don't like your parents, because they're amazing, but you're the only person I'm making a commitment to. And you made a commitment to me too, so you can't leave me."
"And mine had a lot more terms and conditions," Kame said darkly. "I think your stepbrothers teamed up to throw in an anti-nuptial contract in there somewhere that says if I want a divorce, I have to give you two-thirds of everything I own."
"What would I do with two-thirds? I'd want it all!"
"Jin!"
"Just kidding. Can we have cake now?"
"You're hungry too? You're as bad as Yamapi!"
"Nah, I just want to lick the icing off your lips."
Kame smirked. "You do have a very talented tongue," he agreed.
Jin's response, which would have scandalised a good half of the wedding guests (though probably not his fathers-in-law), was barely audible even to Kame as the noise level rose from tolerable to ridiculous.
There was a good reason for this, as it turned out, and it came from the enormous tent set up for the food.
Evidently, nobody had thought to inform Yamapi that it was not appropriate to conceal a stripper in a wedding cake.
Fandom: KAT-TUN
Pairing: Akame
Rating: PG
Genre: Twisted fairy tale
Word count: 15,000
Disclaimer: Not mine, damnit.
Summary: lilmatchgirl007 is to blame for this one by suggesting 'Cinderella' as the next fairy tale to get the Akame treatment. Jin dreams of escaping his life of housework, leaving his stepfamily and starting over with only his dog for company. Prince Kame dreams of marrying for love, not politics, and Yamapi...probably dreams of food. When the prince throws a ball to find himself a suitor, a visit from a fairy godmother sets Jin's dreams on the path to becoming reality...
Author's Notes: I play fast and loose with names here, so there's no consistency. First names, surnames, nicknames, you name it. I shamelessly throw in random JE guys, and please be warned that Junno is a dog for most of this fic. A very cute one, with a tail that wags a lot. ^_^
Silver Cinders on the Road to Matrimony 2/2
Jin gazed at the prince, an auburn-haired vision in white, and wished the butterflies in his stomach would stop dancing the tango. What did *he* know about protocol? The fairy hadn't told him how to behave, damn it, just to get out there and enjoy himself, which he was going to have a hard time doing if the guards threw him out for accidentally insulting the prince.
Junno, he knew, wouldn't have been much help. His pet had loved every moment of the car ride, so much so that he'd deliberately taken several scenic routes to lengthen the journey, thereby ensuring Jin was better than fashionably late. Though he had to admit, the dog wasn't a bad driver. He didn't speed, except when everybody else did, and he only tried to chase his non-existent tail once when they were waiting at the traffic lights.
Jin had left him in the car because they'd had to park round the far side of the palace, where the lighting wasn't so good, and he didn't want to take the chance of annoying Ueda by getting his toy all smashed up. He'd continued on by himself, encountering plenty of inebriated young men but no real obstacles until the herald had asked him for his name, the better to announce him with, and he couldn't all very well have answered truthfully. His stepbrothers would know he wasn't at home doing the ironing, and if they knew, so would their mother. The witch would lock him up till his eighteenth birthday, or longer if she could arrange it - he didn't put it past her to try to keep her unpaid housekeeper slaving away, even after he'd come of age.
And if that happened...Jin didn't know what he'd do. Lose his mind, probably, because some days, the thought of attaining his freedom was all he had to keep him going. If he lost that hope, he lost everything.
But for this one night, at least, he was free. Now all he had to do was not screw up.
It occurred to Jin that, being in the presence of royalty, he really ought to remove his hat. With one hand he swept the fedora neatly to his side, tossing his head so his curls bounced back into place, and prompting a gasp from the crowd as his face was revealed.
The prince didn't gasp, but his lips curved up into a smile and he looked pointedly at his outstretched hand.
Jin could take a hint, even if he wasn't entirely sure what the correct procedure for acting on it was. He decided he couldn't possibly go wrong with being *too* subservient, so he knelt down on one knee and took the prince's hand in his free one, pressing his lips gently against the pale skin.
Was there some sort of manual to cover these situations, he wondered? How long were you supposed to stay like that, and when could you stand up again? Did you have to bow too?
Help presented itself as Prince Kame gave a subtle tug on his hand, enough to signify that Jin's lips were about to overstay their welcome, and he withdrew, shifting gracefully to his feet. He was about to retreat into the crowd in order to get his bearings when he spotted his stepbrothers staring at him with mouths open wide. It was clear that they didn't recognise him - how could they when Jin barely recognised *himself*? - but he didn't want to give them any opportunity for a better look.
Luckily, the prince came to his rescue this time as well. "Want to dance?" he asked smoothly, and the butterflies in Jin's stomach switched from the tango to the foxtrot.
Nevertheless, Jin endeavoured to sound as laidback and confident as the image he projected. "Love to," he replied, equally smoothly, and the prince's smile evolved into an outright smirk, which Jin dared to match.
Suddenly, Prince Kame seized both Jin's hat and his own and flung them at a nearby table, narrowly missing a bottle of wine and a half-finished chocolate mousse. He signalled to the band to resume play and it wasn't long before music drowned out the gossip still working its way round the ballroom.
(A temporary problem involving the bassist, who'd passed out after spending five minutes alone with Prime Minister Nagase, was resolved by persuading Count Maruyama to break away from his circle of eight and substitute himself for the fallen musician.)
Jin looked mournfully at his hat, which was bound to cause a sensation when it vanished off the table at midnight. "I'll be needing that back," he said before he could stop himself.
"Later," said the prince. "You look better without it, and I like to be able to see who I'm dancing with."
"But Kame," came a wail from behind them, "you told me I should wear a mask last time we danced!"
The prince rolled his eyes and ignored the man's despair, putting one hand on Jin's hip and spinning him out onto the dancefloor before anyone else could say a word.
Jin figured if he wanted to enjoy himself, he had to act confident, keep calm, and above all else, not annoy the prince. "Your Highness, did you really tell that guy to wear a mask?" he enquired as they danced, making sure his tone was equal parts amusement and approval.
Prince Kame sighed. "Just call me Kame - everyone else I dance with does. And yes, I told him that. We were at a masked ball, it's traditional. The idiot just wanted everyone to know he was dancing with the prince."
"Weren't you wearing a mask?"
"Of course...but they always know." The prince sighed again, a touch melodramatically, obviously fishing for sympathy.
Jin didn't feel inclined to give it to a man who didn't seem to have any problems more meaningful than his social life, so he dipped the prince as a distraction. He hadn't been dancing in years, but he'd lost none of his knack, and if nothing else, all the housework had kept him amazingly supple.
Kame wasn't bad himself, and once he stopped looking round to see who was watching, he loosened up a lot, letting his jacket slip carelessly over his shoulders as he danced. The rather energetic dance movements might have had something to do with it - Jin didn't think he'd had a workout this thorough since the last time he'd had to clean the entire house single-handedly.
All was well for five fast dances, and anyone trying to cut in was rudely brushed aside with a wave of the Royal Painted Fingernails. The other guests eventually stopped watching and continued with their own amusements; the servants circulated with more drinks, ensuring that no one was sober enough to focus too hard on the prince and his partner anyway. They had neither the breath nor the quiet to talk, so enthusiastic was the band: there was no need to concern themselves with idle chit-chat.
No, it was when the first slow number began that Jin was suddenly left with the problem of where to put his hands, and how to step, and why was the prince's left arm snaking round under his coat to wrap around his waist?
"Do you mind?" Kame murmured. "I like the feel of silk."
Jin's breath hitched as warm fingers brushed against his skin through the slits in the back of the shirt. "That's not silk."
"Close enough." Kame stepped quickly to the side to avoid Jin's boot coming down on his toes, and lightly squeezed the other man's hand where it rested in his right. "For the sake of my feet, would you *please* stop fighting it and let me lead?"
"Does everybody just give in to you?" Jin blurted out.
Kame nodded. "Mostly. It's nothing personal, but you're heavier than I am and my toes are the ones at risk, so let me guide you, okay?"
Reluctantly, Jin fell into step with his partner, resisting the urge to control the prince's movements with a hand on the small of his back. He wasn't used to having to work in unison with someone else, was too accustomed to having sole responsibility for his own body, and the idea of handing over that control to someone else, even a prince, riled him.
"You're even cute when you pout, but it doesn't go with the outfit," Kame commented. His expression was calculating, as if he was trying to figure out exactly how Jin should be attired to match.
When the prince broke out in a broad grin, Jin didn't want to know what he was thinking. Even so, it was bound to be more flattering than the thoughts of the small contingent of jealous men who were watching them from the corner of the ballroom, scowling darkly and making murderous gestures in Jin's direction.
Kame followed Jin's gaze and pointed to them with his chin. "Don't let them bother you. They're just envious because I'm dancing with a beautiful stranger and they can't write you hate mail because they have no idea who you are."
That had Jin worried. Could the prince somehow know his identity? "Neither do you, right?"
Kame removed his hand from Jin's back long enough to twirl him. "Right. But I assumed that if you wanted me to know, you'd have told me."
This wonderful, warm, squishy moment of perfect understanding was sabotaged by Viscount Kusano, who tackled the prince to the ground in his efforts to tear him away from Jin. The palace guards followed in hot pursuit but were too late to prevent Kame ending up on the floor. Kusano was dragged away in chains to the sound of Kame yelling at him about ruining his outfit, and Jin, watching the whole affair in quiet amusement, decided the upper classes were all quite mad.
"Knew I should've worn the black leather ones," Kame muttered as he dusted himself off. "Everything shows on white."
"I wasn't expecting *you* to get attacked," Jin said. "I thought he was running towards me."
"Kusano's been chasing me for months. He's a bit...possessive," Kame explained. "In his world, going to one party together makes you engaged."
"Your exes always stalk you?"
Kame cast a wary look over the rest of the ballroom. Kusano's interruption had put a stop to the dancing, and once again, the prince and his partner had everyone's attention. "Only the really persistent ones." He seized Jin's hand and pulled him towards the door. "Come on, I need some air. Maybe they'll all get back to dancing if we absent ourselves for a while."
A short jog through the gardens later and Jin found himself in the middle of a gigantic hedge maze, with no idea how to reach the exit again.
"They'll never find us in here," Kame assured him, and threw himself down on the grass on the grounds that his trousers were already ruined, and green stains couldn't make matters much worse. Jin, all too familiar with the hidden perils of laundry, didn't bother to correct him.
Seeing as how the prince didn't seem to be much for propriety anymore, Jin considered it not to be a grave social faux pas if he joined him on the grass. It would've been silly for him to continue standing, after all. He tucked his coat underneath him and sank down, wrapping his arms around his knees.
"You don't have to sit a mile away, you know. I don't bite," Kame said.
"You don't?" Jin had meant to sound disbelieving, but ended up sounding disappointed instead.
The prince picked up on it and winked at him. "Not unless you ask me nicely."
Jin turned away to hide his pained expression. "I don't ask for anything."
"Why?" Kame asked gently. "Because you don't think you'll get it?"
"Because if you tell somebody what you want, they have power over you." He'd learned that soon enough after his father's remarriage. Accepting what he was given was one thing: asking for something else was quite another. He hadn't even asked to go to the ball - a fairy godmother had appeared and told him he was going, and since this coincided nicely with Jin's wishes, he'd gone along with it.
The lanterns strung at intervals along the hedges cast coloured lights over the area, tinting everything with warm reds and yellows, cool blues and greens. When Jin sneaked a look back at the prince, he couldn't tell if the flushed face was due to the lighting or a sympathetic blush.
He decided it must have been the former when Kame shrugged and said, "I don't know who you are but you're obviously not a noble, or you'd be telling everyone what you want all the time and kicking up a fuss if you didn't get it."
Jin snorted. "Are you going to tell me you're any different? What would a prince know about working to get what he wants, without relying on anyone else?"
"Not much," Kame agreed cheerfully. "I've never had a problem getting anything I want...well, just *one* thing..."
Jin made a 'go on' gesture.
"You know why I threw this ball, right?" Kame asked.
"I heard it was because you're looking for a..." Jin wasn't sure which term was appropriate so he rephrased it. "You're looking for someone to marry," he said diplomatically.
"Yeah, that's it. It feels like the entire kingdom's trying to pressure me into it, and that's fine, I understand, it's my duty to produce an heir and everything, but they can't choose for me." Kame's voice hardened, filling with steely determination. "When I marry, it will be to someone of my choosing."
"Congratulations."
"You don't have to be sarcastic about it. Is it so bad to want to marry for love and not politics?"
Jin did his utmost to avoid politics, largely because all the politicians he'd ever met were incredibly dull. "I don't think that's a bad thing."
"And that's what I want. Someone who'd love me even without my rank, my money and my looks."
It amused Jin no end that the prince shuddered terribly when contemplating the loss of his good looks. Still, even taking into account the occasional mild bursts of vanity, he didn't seem like a bad guy. Not as domineering as Jin had been expecting, and he had a sense of humour.
"I'm pretty sure the guy you just had dragged away in chains meets your criteria," he cracked. "He seems desperate enough to take you any way he can get you."
Kame looked decidedly queasy at the thought. "I'm not interested in stalkers and men who throw themselves at me. No challenge."
"You want someone who'll make you work for it," Jin speculated.
"Something so important is worth the effort, isn't it?" Kame twisted a blade of grass between his fingers until it broke, then seized a replacement without looking and began to give it the same treatment.
A nervous gesture, Jin thought. His father had had the same habit, though in his case he'd twisted a length of ribbon, and only when he was anxious about something. Could he, Jin Akanishi, a mere merchant's son, be making the prince nervous?
Though he had to admit, his mostly-black ensemble did look a little intimidating - a bit like an incredibly stylish gunslinger - so perhaps it was only natural that the prince was feeling ill-at-ease. He shot Kame a reassuring smile and was heartened when the other man responded in kind, fingers ceasing their motions - much to the relief of the grass.
"Anything your heart truly desires is worth the effort," Jin said eventually, thinking of his one-month countdown to freedom and the lengths he'd gone to to ensure his plans remained a secret. Once, he'd been indignant, believing that as his deceased father's only son, he alone had the right to the house and property, and that once he came of age he would be in a position to evict his stepfamily.
After a while he'd realised that even if he had the house to himself, it wouldn't be home, and deposing the woman who had legitimately been his father's wife would only give him a moment's petty satisfaction.
The only solution, as Jin saw it, was to start again elsewhere, to carve a new life for himself. (Along with his dog, of course.) And for that, he was prepared to do anything.
He should've seen the next question coming. "And what does *your* heart desire?" the prince asked him. "What do you want most in the world?"
Telling Kame what he wanted, Jin discovered, was not the same as trying to convey his wishes to his stepfamily. They'd only use them against him, offer them as bait to make him compliant. But a prince, no matter how capricious, would have no incentive to do the same.
"What do I want, hmm?" He unwrapped his arms from his knees and stretched his legs out on the grass, crossing one booted leg over the other. If he looked casual, maybe he could manage to sound casual. "I want...to start again. I want a new life, where no one can give me orders and I can be myself."
Kame reached out and put a hand in the crook of his elbow. "Are you being yourself now?"
Jin was surprised by the urgency in the prince's voice, by the way his fingers curled tightly around Jin's arm. "That hurts! And yes, I'm being myself. I wasn't until after the first few dances, when I realised that just because you're royalty doesn't mean you don't say and do stupid things."
Kame's grip loosened, and when he laughed, Jin could feel it in the tug at his sleeve. "I get that from my dad."
Kame's family situation was fairly unusual; Jin surmised in this instance he was talking about King Takki as Queen (it was a non-gendered job title) Tsubasa didn't seem nearly so goofy. "My stepmother's heart would be broken," he said lightly. "She thinks he's perfect."
"You have a stepmother, huh?"
Jin cursed himself mentally for letting the detail slip out, especially since the prince had all but jumped on it. He tried to sound casual but his interest was evident in the eagerness of his tone, in the way his grip tightened before checking itself and easing off. Jin did his best to dissaude him from pursuing the matter further by snapping "Yes, I have a stepmother" and clamping his mouth shut.
It didn't work. "You have any brothers or sisters?"
There had to be hundreds of people in the kingdom with stepfamilies, didn't there? It wasn't as if the prince could possibly identify Jin just because he told him the truth. "Two stepbrothers," he said reluctantly. "We don't really get along that well." That might have been true but it was a blatant understatement.
"You're so lucky." Kame sighed enviously. "I don't have any siblings at all. It was difficult enough for my parents to have me in the first place, they refused to have any more children."
"If you want my stepbrothers you're welcome to them!" Jin meant it, every word. "They're probably back there in the ballroom, waiting for your return so they can make you fall madly in love with them."
"Both of them?"
"They're prepared to fight it out for you, but I don't think their mother's picky about who wins."
Somehow, during the course of the conversation, Kame had managed to sidle unobtrusively up to Jin. They sat together, a study in black and white (and occasionally other colours where the lantern light hit them), Kame nudging Jin's hip with his own where his hand had been earlier.
"Maybe she isn't but I am!" Kame protested, laughing.
Jin waved his hand dismissively. "Trust me, you don't want either of them."
"So I should pick you instead?"
Jin opened his mouth to answer before he heard the question, and once the words filtered through his brain, he realised he didn't even know what to say.
Not that it mattered. Kame wouldn't have heard him anyway - chimes rang out on every hour from the ancient palace clock tower, and after the last count of eleven, Jin had vowed to keep a close eye on the time.
That vow had been quickly forgotten, and the clock was striking twelve now.
Midnight. Time for the magic to end.
-----
"Wait!" Kame yelled as the beautiful stranger leapt to his feet and looked around frantically for the exit. "Don't go! I didn't mean to upset you!"
He could've kicked himself for ruining the mood. Obviously, his mysterious new dance partner had a fear of commitment, which Kame should've worked out earlier from his responses about starting a new life and being himself. Hinting - even in jest - about matrimony had been an impossibly stupid move, and one that Kame was going to regret for the rest of his life if he didn't do something.
He scrambled up and made a grab for the black-clad man, who easily evaded his lunge and took flight through the hedge. No exit was apparent - clearly, he was so upset by Kame's words that he was desperate enough to make his own.
"Wait!" Kame called again. "How do you feel about co-habitation?"
But it was too late. By the time Kame managed to unsnag his bangs from a particularly vicious hedge, his quarry was long gone, leaving only a faint impression in the grass...and...
There! A gleam of silver!
Kame delved into the bushes and retrieved the bright, shiny earring, the lady he'd seen dangling against his dance partner's curls. It was a clue, all he had to lead him to his mystery man, and Kame wasn't going to waste this chance.
He headed back to the ballroom to find everyone in an uproar.
"We thought you'd eloped!" Yamapi cried breathlessly as he ran up to Kame.
"After a few dances? Do I look that easy?"
Yamapi pointed to the very obvious grass stains on Kame's once-white trousers. "I know where you were!" he crowed. "So? What happened? Who is he? And...uh..." he looked around, puzzled, "where is he?"
"Nothing happened, I don't know but I'm going to find out, and he ran away."
"Oh." Yamapi snatched up a dish of chocolate-covered strawberries and began comfort-eating on his friend's behalf. "What did you do to make him run away?"
"I'm not really sure." Kame retrieved his long-forgotten hat, wondered for a moment when the stranger had had time to retrieve *his* since it wasn't there anymore, and sank down into the chair a helpful courtier pushed under him. "I don't think he's keen on marriage."
"Too bad. You guys would've looked great together in the wedding photos."
"Wouldn't we just?"
Having his ego stroked cheered Kame up a little, and he turned his attention to the task at hand. The earring was his only lead, and while, as a prince, it was a tad tricky to follow it up himself, he had at his disposal one man who was equally familiar with the intricacies of jewellery shopping.
One week later...
Yamapi had spared no effort in tracking down the origins of the earring. Accompanied by a succession of pretty young things, he'd visited every jeweller in the kingdom, and the answer he'd come back with was this:
The earring and matching necklace worn by the stranger had been custom-made for the fifteenth birthday present of the son of the merchant who'd had them commissioned, and the jeweller had never made another piece of that design. Unfortunately, he didn't remember the name of the merchant, nor did he have it in his records, meaning that they were no closer to identifying the prince's mystery man.
Not until Kame had a bright idea. The young man in black still had the other half of the set (assuming he hadn't thrown the necklace away when he'd noticed the loss of the earring, and Kame didn't even want to think about that), and therefore all they had to do was find a man with a matching chain.
But they had to be cunning about it. Kame was under no illusions about this: if they publicised the earring's design and asked for anyone owning the match to come forward, half the men in the kingdom would own identical pieces within a week. They would have to keep it a secret. There was no guarantee that even so beautiful a stranger would be easily identified - he had, no doubt, dressed up for the ball and might look completely different in everyday life.
And thus the hunt began in the form of a road trip, as Yamapi and a handful of bodyguards drove around the kingdom, going from house to house and requesting all men in the right age bracket to bring out their necklaces. Word spread quickly, and before long, the young men were waiting on their front lawns, decked out in every shiny bauble they could find, hoping that the prince's hunting party would drive by.
(Alas, it was considered far too dangerous for Prince Kame to tour the kingdom himself, since he was both the heir and an only child, and so he had to stay at home.)
Kame called Yamapi every day to find out how the search was going, but there was never any news. Not until the day the hunting party visited the house of the Widow Akanishi...
-----
"Hurry, hurry!" the witch urged. "I've just had a call from Cousin Sophia and they're on their way! Haven't you finished cleaning yet, boy?"
Jin dodged his stepmother's flying handbag, thrown out of sheer impatience, and settled for sweeping everything into the kitchen instead. "I'm done," he said sullenly.
His mood had been terrible since the night of the ball. He'd been having a wonderful evening with the prince, dancing and talking, slowly discovering exactly why it was that Kame was so beloved by his people, when the stroke of midnight had put a stop to it in the worst way. With no idea how to leave the maze normally, he'd been forced to plough through the hedges until he escaped the outer wall, and from there had sprinted back to the car, not stopping to collect his hat.
The car, much to his surprise, was still there, and so was the driver. Junno had picked up on his master's urgency and got them back to the house in less than ten minutes, driving so fast that Jin could only assume that they hadn't been pulled over for speeding because no one stood a chance of catching them. The resulting breeze did an excellent job of removing the twigs and leaves that had caught in his curls, too.
By the time they got home, Jin's clothes had reverted to tatty jeans and a shirt and the car was just beginning to shrink. He scrambled out as fast as he could and watched the Ferarri grow smaller and smaller until it became a toy once more, at which point it vanished into thin air, presumably back into Ueda's pocket.
Ten minutes later, Jin was back in the house, curled up with a blanket and a box of doggy treats. Not with Junno, because even though his canine companion was once again a happy black Labrador with a tail that just wouldn't quit, Jin found it a trifle difficult to adjust to petting the creature who'd just driven him home. Junno whined, giving Jin the big puppy-dog eyes, and lay down on the floor next to the bed to catch the treats with his mouth. Jin had promised him, after all.
It wasn't the end Jin had been anticipating to his evening. At least the ironing had stayed done, even if all the other magic had unravelled, but not only had Jin done the complete opposite of everyone else and actually run away from the prince without so much as a word of explanation, but he'd managed to lose his precious earring in the process.
He was so dejected over it that he couldn't even be bothered to hide the necklace anymore, just tucked it under his shirt where his family couldn't see it. It made him feel a little better, like he was someone special, having something so treasured next to his skin.
That, and hearing his stepbrothers come home raving about the unknown beauty at the ball who'd so captivated the prince. Sure, Jin knew nothing could ever have come of it, but it was still flattering to think that he'd been the envy of so many people.
It was also astonishing just how clueless his stepbrothers were, not recognising him simply because he'd left his hair loose and not worn a bandana, but perhaps he should've expected that.
His stepmother, naturally, was fuming over the whole affair. Her boys had been shunned in favour of some unknown hussy, (which was probably the most flattering of the terms she'd used to describe him), and she was ready to tear out his hair by the roots if she ever caught him.
That is, until she heard about the prince's search. After that, she'd driven Jin to distraction with her incessant demands for cleaning. Everything had to be perfect.
Perfection, as it turned out, didn't include Jin. Once the house was satisfactory he was banished to the kitchen and ordered to remain there. When he protested at this, his stepmother pointed out that not only did he not have any jewellery to show the prince's man, but he hadn't been at the ball and thus could not possibly be sought-after stranger.
Jin's retort that it obviously wasn't Koki or Nakamaru either didn't sit well with their mother, and she locked him in the kitchen with orders to prepare dinner.
"She can get her own dinner," Jin muttered vehemently into Junno's floppy ear. "She'll be so upset when they're both turned down she probably won't want to eat anyway."
He took up a position behind the kitchen door, prying open the small sliding panel so he could hear what was going on. Junno stayed silently by his master's side, reaping the occasional reward of a pat on the nose. Jin could picture them now, all waiting eagerly in the parlour, every necklace they owned hanging round their necks in an attempt to outdo each other.
Voices carried easily down the hall: strangers now, men from the palace. Jin thought he recognised one of them as the man who'd come up to speak to Kame a couple of times while they were dancing. A noble, most likely. They wouldn't hear him if he yelled, and even if he did manage to draw their attention to himself and show them the necklace tucked under his shirt, who'd believe he hadn't stolen it?
The prince would've, but then, Kame was the only person who'd gotten a real look at him face-to-face - everyone else had seen him from a distance on the dancefloor, few daring to approach quite so close to the prince.
Would Jin have gone with them if he could? He didn't know. Kame's last words to him had sounded suspiciously marriage-oriented, and while that would've fit in nicely with Jin's plans to start over, he wasn't sure that tying himself down to a whole new family was the right way to go about it. The last lot of relatives he'd acquired hadn't worked out so well, after all.
On the other hand, he hadn't been able to stop thinking about the prince since he'd escape the maze. It didn't matter what he was doing. If he peeled potatoes, they had Kame's face. If he scrubbed the floor, Kame's features appeared in the suds. When he closed his eyes at night, Kame haunted his dreams. Jin didn't believe in love at first sight, but he was willing to concede like, at the very least, and a definite interest which, from the prince's expressions and behaviour, he judged to be returned.
And he was damned attractive, but that was neither here nor there.
Anguished wails floated down the hall to the kitchen - someone had just been rejected. Jin snickered to himself and wondered which one it was.
Another anguished wail, followed by a third - clearly, the witch was getting in on it too. But she'd missed out on her chance to see one of her sons married to the prince. Surely the party would be leaving now?
From a corner of the kitchen, unseen by anyone bar Junno, a small tornado of fairy dust spun wildly, quadrupling its size in a flash and tearing all the pots and pans from the wall. The cookware hit the floor with a tremendous crash; the dog howled, adding his voice to the noise, and if Jin hadn't been covering his ears he might have heard the following conversation...
"Is there someone else in the house?" Yamapi asked as he prepared to leave.
"Well..." the Widow Akanishi hedged. "There's my poor dear husband's son from his first marriage, but he's a bit simple - almost a danger to himself, really - so we keep him shut away. He likes to play with the saucepans, so we let him do that and it seems to keep him happy."
"That's very nice of you," Yamapi said politely, "but I still have to see him, on the prince's orders."
"But he couldn't possibly be the man you're looking for! Why, he's never even been to the palace!"
Her protests were all in vain as Yamapi turned on his heel and headed for the kitchen door, guards in tow. Jin missed all this entirely as he was trying to pick up all the pots and pans, utterly baffled as to what had caused them to leap off their respective hooks, and thus remained unenlightened until a key turned in the lock, and the door was flung open.
Jin saw the bodyguards first and picked up a particularly large skillet to defend himself with.
Yamapi elbowed the others aside and pushed his way into the kitchen where the fur on his boots was promptly attacked by Junno. "It's okay," he said, holding up his hands in a show of peace. "I'm not here to take your pots and pans away. I just want to talk for a minute, okay, and then you can go right back to playing."
"Huh?" Jin set the skillet down behind him and tried to figure out why the young noble was talking to him like he was five years old. "You're not staying for dinner, are you? Because I haven't started cooking yet."
It was Yamapi's turn to look baffled. "Uh...I never turn down food, but we've still got a lot of houses to try so..."
"Of course you should stay for dinner," Jin's stepmother cooed. "We'd be delighted to have your company. Jin, you're making extra."
"I thought you said he was simple," Yamapi said suspiciously. "Why are you letting him cook? Aren't you afraid he'll burn the house down?"
Jin's look of disbelief clinched it for him. Yamapi strode across the room, slightly hampered by Junno savaging his boots, till he was inches away from Jin. He scrutinised him closely - the young man's face looked very familiar - and caught a glint of silver peeking out from the collar of the ragged grey shirt.
Years of practice had made him adept at tearing open shirts, and the worn material parted easily to reveal a silver lady, the missing partner to the earring Yamapi had in a pouch round his neck. He pulled it out and held it up for comparison, prompting furious gasps from the doorway.
"You found my earring," Jin said happily, forgetting to be angry about his shirt. He plucked his missing lady from Yamapi's hand and pushed it through the hole in his ear.
Then he ripped off the bandana and removed the band round his hair, shaking his head to let the curls fall free, and the gasps from the doorway increased in volume.
Yamapi immediately grabbed him by both hands. "You have to come back with me! Kame sent me to find you and he's going to be so happy now I finally have!"
"I...uh..." Jin didn't know how to respond, but Yamapi's grin was infectious and Jin thought he could manage to return that, anyway.
"It was you?" came a voice from the doorway, and Jin looked across to see the incredulous faces of his stepbrothers.
"Where'd you get the outfit?" Koki asked. "It wasn't anywhere near as fancy as the stuff you made for us."
"But it looked better," Nakamaru added, and flashed Jin an encouraging smile.
Koki scowled, then melted into a smile of his own. "I guess it did. Go on, get out of here. Go marry a prince."
Jin's stepmother burst into noisy tears. Nakamaru attempted to reassure her. "Cheer up, Mama. You'll still get to be the mother of a princess."
That snapped Jin out of his bliss-induced confusion in a hurry. "Princess! Just wait a minute-"
"It's a non-gendered job title," Yamapi interrupted, and pulled Jin towards the door before Junno could do any more damage to his clothing.
-----
One year later...
"Stop!" Yamapi yelled, and threw himself in front of the door so Kame couldn't possibly walk through it. "It's bad luck to see the bride all dressed up before the wedding!"
Kame shook his head wearily. The ceremony hadn't even started yet and he was already exhausted. "It's nice of you to be concerned about my luck, Pi, but I'm not marrying a bride! I had a hard enough time getting Jin to accept my proposal in the first place, so please don't make him regret it at the last moment."
"I can hear you guys, you know," came a muffled voice from the other side of the door. "Any more cracks about a bride and I'm going to set Junno loose on your respective wardrobes."
Kame winced and motioned for Yamapi to keep his mouth shut or else. Jin's beloved dog had slotted nicely into life at the palace, making himself a favourite with everyone - more so than Jin's stepfamily, who had insisted on coming with. The brothers weren't so bad, once he got used to their sense of humour, but Kame had the feeling he was about to acquire the stepmother-in-law from hell. Jin was in the lead in the in-law stakes, since he was getting not one but two fathers-in-law instead - ones who looked less than a decade older than him.
A Royal Wedding was a special event for the entire kingdom, and consequently, everyone of note had been invited. Even Viscount Kusano had made it on to the guest list, on the understanding that he didn't touch a drop of alcohol and was never less than thirty paces away from the prince. He'd accepted eagerly.
Surprisingly, so had Ueda, the professional Fairy Godmother responsible for Kame meeting the love of his life in the first place. The whole story had spilled out the same afternoon Yamapi had brought Jin back to the palace, and while all concerned felt it was a somewhat unorthodox situation, there was no denying that it had worked out. The wedding date had been set that very night, and it was then that the problems started.
When Kame's parents had decided that there would be a year-long engagement before the wedding, Kame thought they were being...well...killjoys. What he hadn't realised (but they all too obviously had) was that it was actually going to take him that long to talk Jin into marrying him.
"If we don't get out to the garden soon, everyone's going to worry that we've eloped!" Kame called through the door. "I think it's only traditional for *one* of us to be late. I don't mind if you want it to be you, but can you let me know in the next five minutes?"
"I'm ready *now*," came an answering growl, and Jin stepped through the door. "I look like a chess piece."
"Then I must be your opposite number," Kame remarked.
The black-and-white combination had worked so well for them at the ball that they'd decided to redo it for their wedding, but reversed, with Jin in white and Kame in black, both wearing silver jewellery. No hats this time, and both had opted to do without ties. The photos were going to be glorious.
Whether the honeymoon was going to be equally glorious, Kame wasn't sure. For security reasons, they were going to a location so secret even he didn't know where it was, accompanied by a contingent of bodyguards and a sorcerer Takki had talked into a working vacation. Getting time alone with Jin might be a problem - though possibly less difficult than it had been all year, since they'd finally be married and only a royal decree could separate them.
It wasn't easy, Kame had discovered, to court a guy when he insisted on climbing out of windows, hiding out in the sub-basements to practise his guitar and taking off on long, rambling walks in the woods with his dog, frequently giving palace security a nightmare and Kame what he thought might have been the onset of a heart attack.
It wasn't so much, as Kame had originally thought, that Jin had a fear of commitment. It wasn't even that he had a fear of Kame, as many passion-filled nights had proven. (Neither of them felt inclined to wait for their wedding night, and Jin's stepfamily-suppressed hormones had nearly killed them both the first time.)
He just didn't seem to want to be part of the family.
-----
The last year had gone by in a whirl for Jin, starting with his being brought back to the palace. The first person to greet him had been Kame himself, and after that...well...
It wasn't that he didn't want to be part of this warm, loving family, with all that entailed. He did want it, desperately - had wanted it since his father's remarriage. But he couldn't shake the feeling that somehow, it was all going to go wrong, and he was going to come off worse for it. He was going to tie himself down on a sinking ship, lose his freedom...lose everything.
He flinched as Kame took his arm.
"If you run away when we're walking down the aisle, I'm going to have the guards handcuff us together," Kame whispered to him as they finally began to stroll out to the garden where everyone was waiting for them.
"You could run away with me?" Jin suggested. Elopement would get them away from everyone, family included.
Junno, following along behind them with Yamapi, gave a mournful whine at this.
"Don't worry, boy," Yamapi said, stroking the dog's glossy black coat. "If they run away, we'll run after them and drag them back. They have to be here so I can give my speech at the reception."
The palace gardens were enormous, not counting the orchards, the vegetable gardens and the maze. Or the sunken garden, which wasn't really suitable to hold a wedding. The minister was waiting for them at the far end, and everywhere Jin looked, people were smiling.
Everyone was happy. Jin did his best to imitate them.
Unfortunately, Kame wasn't fooled.
"What?" he murmured as they walked arm-in-arm. "I had them take all mentions of princesses out of the ceremony, and all the references to obedience and providing an heir. What else do you want me to do?"
Jin shook his head. "Sorry," he whispered back. "I guess I'm just tense. Don't worry about it."
"Can you two walk a little faster?" Yamapi muttered from behind them. "I'm starved, and we have to get you married off before I can eat."
He was ignored by everyone except Junno, who turned a neat somersault at the mention of food.
"How can I not worry about whether or not the person I'm about to marry is going to suddenly run straight past the minister and climb over the back fence!" Kame hissed. "I'm a prince, you've got a fairy godmother - aren't we supposed to have a fairy-tale wedding and live happily ever after?"
"Yeah, but I'm supposed to be female, we're both supposed to be virgins, and you're supposed to be more interested in jousting than painting your nails!"
Kame coloured slightly. "I could paint little lances on them?" he offered.
Jin sighed. It was going to be a long ceremony.
Much to everyone's surprise, the wedding actually went with very few hitches. So much of the wording had been cut out that the minister only got to speak for about two minutes, thirty seconds of which was him asking if somebody could *please* stop this dog from nibbling on his robes, and all mentions of gender had been carefully removed by the queen himself.
Kame said his vows first, meaning every word. Jin had, as promised, made him work for it, and it had been worth every second.
Jin's vows had come as a surprise to everyone except Yamapi, who, unbeknownst even to Jin himself, had edited them to take out all references to commitment, and indeed to everything except love. All Jin had to do was promise to love Kame, and that, he had no qualms about promising. The first hints of attraction he'd felt the night they met had blossomed into something far more serious as he'd gotten to know the young prince, and Kame's greeting when he arrived at the palace under Yamapi's escort had told Jin all he needed to know about Kame's feelings for him.
The minister sounded positively relieved when he pronounced them married and told them they could now kiss each other, and while he headed straight for the bar, followed closely by some of Duke Subaru's cronies, Jin and Kame opted to follow his instruction.
It was by no means a first kiss for either of them, or even one of their first hundred, but it might as well have been for the hush that fell over the crowd. Yamapi was the first to cheer; the rest, human and canine alike, were quick to join in.
"Did you change my vows as well?" Jin asked under the noise of the crowd.
Kame shrugged. "Not my doing. I think our best man might have had a hand in it, though - I saw him talking to the minister earlier. Did you answer honestly?"
Jin didn't even need to think about it. "Yeah. It was a lot easier than I thought it would be."
"Considering that the night I proposed, I had to climb up half the trees in the orchard to find which one you'd fallen asleep in after climbing out of your bedroom window again, you walked into matrimony today without too many problems."
"That's because..." Jin hesitated, then shot Kame a playful grin. "Because when I was vowing to love *you*, it hit me that I wasn't marrying your family. Not that I don't like your parents, because they're amazing, but you're the only person I'm making a commitment to. And you made a commitment to me too, so you can't leave me."
"And mine had a lot more terms and conditions," Kame said darkly. "I think your stepbrothers teamed up to throw in an anti-nuptial contract in there somewhere that says if I want a divorce, I have to give you two-thirds of everything I own."
"What would I do with two-thirds? I'd want it all!"
"Jin!"
"Just kidding. Can we have cake now?"
"You're hungry too? You're as bad as Yamapi!"
"Nah, I just want to lick the icing off your lips."
Kame smirked. "You do have a very talented tongue," he agreed.
Jin's response, which would have scandalised a good half of the wedding guests (though probably not his fathers-in-law), was barely audible even to Kame as the noise level rose from tolerable to ridiculous.
There was a good reason for this, as it turned out, and it came from the enormous tent set up for the food.
Evidently, nobody had thought to inform Yamapi that it was not appropriate to conceal a stripper in a wedding cake.