One Eye Open (1/1)
Title: One Eye Open
Author: tromana
Rating: R
Characters: Lisbon/Red John, Jane
Summary: Once you’re in it, you’re in it for life.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Notes: Written for watchyouwalk as a part of the Holiday Fics challenge.
One Eye Open
Pretty little thing stopped me in my tracks
But now she sleeps with one eye open
- Girl With One Eye, Florence and the Machine
She hates it when he looks like this. That oh so superior, smug, grin which just says ‘I was right’. If it wasn’t for the possibility of claims of harassment or the like, then maybe, just maybe, she would actually slap it off of him.
The thing is, this time, he isn’t right. He thinks he is, because he’s Jane and he always is, but he isn’t. She knows who Red John is, because she has inside information. How else would so many moles survive within the CBI without her to protect them?
She’s the one who pulls the strings for them, makes sure that everything goes just so. That is, until they run out of usefulness for his lord and master, Red John. Or they threaten to break any of the rules, any of the commandments. Threaten to reveal his identity or attempt to quit.
Once you’re in it, you’re in it for life.
Teresa Lisbon seems to be the only one who actually understands that.
She’s sold her soul to the devil himself and quite frankly, she doesn’t ever want it back.
While her job had its perks before he crept into her life, it was missing something. Now, now she feels a sense of power and control that she never had before. She’s the one pulling the strings now, making things actually work for a change. For once, in her sorry life, the universe actually makes sense.
All because of Red John.
Not many people understand the power that he has over people. The power that he gives them, if he’s so intrigued by them.
He changes their lives, and for the better. That much is obvious.
And that’s why she does what she does for him.
She and Jane, they’re on their way to another case right now.
He is agitated. Already, she’s quietly informed him that it’s a Red John. And already, he’s getting wound up by the concept, is on edge.
It’s a thrill to watch him, of all people, so nervous.
He understands Red John’s power, but doesn’t appreciate them. Red John has changed him, and for the better, but Jane is just so bitter and angry about the cost it entailed, that he’s blinded to the fact. If he could just step out into the sunlight, then maybe, just maybe, he’d appreciate the difference in him and his demeanor by now.
Maybe then, he’d understand just how wonderful that Red John truly is.
She knows just how unsure he is about this lead. Just how much it worries him. She watches him out of the corner of her eye as he glances at of the window every five seconds, then back at her, then at his hands. Then, he repeats the action. Windows. Herself. Hands. Windows…
He’s terrified and excited in equal measures. Almost paranoid about what this will mean, in a way. Jane thinks this is going to be the time they finally catch Red John.
He’s wrong, however. Lisbon knows that already.
This specific lead is one that she, of all people, planted and he’s fallen for it hook, line and sinker.
Just as she expected he would. After all, contrary to what Patrick Jane believes, he’s not the only one who knows a thing or two about reading minds and manipulation.
She’s learned a fair bit herself. And though Jane would like to believe it, not at all from him.
She doesn’t even feel guilty about leading him up the garden path. Lisbon knows she should, but she just can’t. If he knew Red John, then he’d understand, really understand just how seductive he was.
xxx
She remembers when she first met the serial killer.
How could she forget? It’s been etched into her memories from their first meeting. It’ll stay in her mind until her dying day, whenever that may be.
She’d just transferred from the SFPD to the CBI. An achievement which she had been incredibly proud of, especially given just how sexist that police work could be. And still is, in more ways than she likes.
How naïve she had been to believe her career was really that important. It’s nothing. Just a small drop in the ocean, indistinguishable from the next drop of water. As a mere cop, there’s very little she can do to manipulate the world, her environment, for the better.
As a friend of Red John’s…
But that’s beside the point.
It had been her first day. She’d been buying a bear claw, as a treat for herself at lunch. Just a little sweet something to stash in her drawers for later on. What she’d got was so much more than that.
She’d bumped into one of her new colleagues; she didn’t even know his name yet. He just wore a friendly smile beneath his beard. He’d offered to pay and though surprised, she’d accepted gratefully.
How was she to know that her colleague also happened to be a serial killer?
That was - and still is - the beauty of his position. Nobody expects a cop to be a criminal. Least of all one in a specialist agency such as the CBI. They especially don’t expect them to employ and corrupt from the inside, but they do.
She understands that all too well.
He’d started slowly, carefully. So as not to scare her off, to make her report him to their superiors. Just the casual comment, the occasional compliment here and there. People rarely praised one another for their work so it made her feel like a job well done. He’d explained just how special he’d thought she was even from that very first meeting. Made her feel like she was one in a million. Slowly, slowly, he brought her into his circle of trust.
So slowly, in fact, that she’d hardly been aware of what was going on.
And when she had finally clued up to the fact of who he was and what he was doing, it was too late. There was nothing she could have done.
He’d got her hooked and lured her in.
Now, several years after the fact, she wouldn’t have it any other way.
Why would she? This is the life she knows and understands now. There’s nothing else she wants or needs. And if something does transpire, then she has the means to get whatever it is that’s required.
She’s not trapped in a meaningless bubble where work is the only thing of any importance to her now. As a result, she even has a better relationship with two of her three brothers now.
He’s left now; joined the FBI, is currently infiltrating that agency. But she, she’s stayed behind, to keep an eye close to the ground at the CBI.
And she does so faithfully.
She’s never been able to resist a man with a friendly smile.
xxx
Sometimes, she wonders how she coped not knowing him.
Her past is as dark and dreary as anyone’s. Her present had been dull and grey. But Red John, he’d brought a light into it, a shining beacon of hope. How can she ever feel guilty for that?
And he’s taught her in so many ways. More than anybody would ever care to imagine.
They’ve worked together, to solve cases in the past. Brought down the dirtiest of criminals (excepting maybe, themselves, of course.) Been heavily praised for it, too. That’s an irony that isn’t lost on either of them.
In between cases, they’ve taught some of the nastiest people in the world lessons, the hard way. There’s nothing like the loss of a loved one to make people realize just how much wrong they’re doing in their lives. Often, that’s even more rewarding than the police work. After all, a cold, hard truth can make people completely reassess their lives for the better.
She doesn’t see what they do as evil and abhorrent. Not anymore. They’re just like a guiding conscience, giving people a push in the right direction. It just so happens that you need to use something negative, like death, to give certain people that kind of a push.
And then, of course, there’s their personal relationship.
Half the reason he decided to start infiltrating the FBI was because of the spanner that the CBI had thrown into their relationships. Who the hell thought that a ‘no dating of co-workers’ rule was a good idea, at any rate?
Nobody knows that Teresa Lisbon is in a committed relationship, least of all Patrick Jane. She’s a fiercely private individual and she knows Jane. Understands how he works. Knows how to keep things concealed, how to make him believe he knows her inside out, when really, he’s completely and utterly oblivious.
Their relationship, as far as she’s concerned, is strong and healthy. They know how to push one another’s buttons and have done so for years. Literally. Every time they think it might be getting a little dull, somewhat stale, they find a way to change it up.
And it’s liberating, too.
While driving, with just Patrick Jane by her side, her mind wanders. She remembers how the man she loves clings onto her just when he’s getting near the edge. The way the sweat beads on his brow. How he cries her name when he tumbles over to the point of no return and disappears into sweet ecstasy. And then, then, he always makes sure he gives her back what she deserves.
Theirs is a relationship of equality. It may not have always been that way, but it is now.
Unlike hers with Patrick Jane, of course.
He may think he has the upper hand in their battle of wills, but he never has done.
And he’s about to learn how woefully naïve he was ever to believe that.
Any minute now, they’ll be arriving at the supposed crime scene.
Any minute now and his life is going to be turned completely upside down, once more.
xxx
The last time they were together…
Oh, the last time…
It wasn’t long ago, just a couple of days in fact. They’re two very busy people, being pulled in all sorts of directions. Living lives with such duality is taxing on people, so sometimes, it’s a miracle that they can find the time for one another at all.
But still, they cling to one another, like they’re life rafts. Or a limpet, clinging desperately to a rock. Ensuring that they maintain purchase on a slippery ground. It’s the same whenever they get to snatch a precious few seconds together.
Even a serial killer and his accomplice need a little human comfort every once in a while. And they’ve always complimented one another so, in all aspects of their lives.
Red John had gripped onto her waist tightly that, as if he needed her small form to keep him alive. To make sure he continued breathing.
Which, in a way, he did, because she is the one in control of his case with the CBI. She’s the one who deflects the leads, prevents his capture (or demise at the hands of the lunatic Jane.)
She’s the one who is currently manipulating Jane towards his own death.
At her own hands.
Just as Red John himself had suggested.
For they both know just how much Patrick Jane trusts her. She’s never trusted him, and for good reason. Even if she wasn’t as close as she is to Red John, she still wouldn’t trust Jane. He positively screams untrustworthy, just from a single glance at him.
It’s only seconds now, before she draws her gun, just as they planned. Only seconds before Patrick Jane learns that the Kingdom of God is a real place. That he’s going there to be condemned and judged.
That he shan’t be joining his wife and child, because of the way he’s behaved during his time on planet Earth.
She’s carrying out the instructions she received that night word for word. Right down to the letter. In seconds, she’s going to deliver those last few words.
The ones Red John had whispered into her ear that night.
She smiles. It’s a look of serenity as she remembers just how perfect that night had been.
Even though they had been, somewhat irritatingly, disturbed.
After he’d finished outlining the plan (Jane’s death) in its beautiful brilliance, he had slipped away into the shadows. Not because he’d wanted to, but because he’d been called into action. According to the deputy AG, a murder by the docks required his immediate attention.
She’d been a little sad, of course she had.
But even in bed, alone, lying next to the cooling sheets he’d just vacated, she feels comforted.
For he painted his motif on her wall, so that he can always be watching her, always be with her.
Just as he’s with her right now. As she bids farewell to that perpetual thorn in her side, more commonly known as Patrick Jane.
After the deed is done, she cleans up, removes all evidence of herself ever being there. Heads directly home, washes and straight back to bed.
It’s only then she feels truly at peace once more.
For so long as she sleeps with just the one eye open, she’s never alone.