There was absolutely no reason that he should feel like this. None. Just because everyone else was getting all sorts of people from back home and he had Clark and Luthor. Lois, too, but she didn't remember him. He had Bart and Tim and Cassie and things should have been easy, but he still felt like there were things that he was being left out of. He
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He finds Kon...uncharacteristically quiet and still. Sitting on the couch staring into space. Dick pulls up a patch of couch for himself. Pulls up his knees and wraps an arm around them.
"Hey." His eyes are bruised and shadowed, but his voice sounds steady again.
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There's sympathy in his eyes when he stretches out his hand to rest on Kon's leg. "You define yourself in terms of your relationships because you've never had a life that wasn't what we do. Because you don't know where you fit with them, you don't know who you are."
Thank God he has Tim, Babs, Alfred, and Donna. Without them... without them he would do what he did years ago. Build a family again and ache for the one he lost. He used the model Bruce and Clark gave him and built the Titans. Kon needs a role model, and he and Donna are the obvious choices. But what does he have to offer?
"You feel like, if you can learn who they are again, you'll feel like you again." He tips his head to look at Kon. "Am I close?"
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Like you. That wasn't the question. The question was: who was he? He wasn't sure anymore. Not after finding out about Luthor all those months back.
"Did anyone ever tell you that you should be a shrink? You've got all the mumbo jumbo down pat."
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He picks up his tea, looks into it, then gets up to get himself another cup from the kitchen while he talks. Helping Kon, or at least trying to, makes it safe to move. His own emotions don't need the leash of stillness they did before. When he opens his mouth to ask Kon how he is again, to force the issue, Dick closes it again and keeps walking into the kitchen. Let Kon sit with the idea. It's harder to deflect if he doesn't have a question to answer.
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"Not like I can even do anything about it," he said even softer, cursing himself for saying anything. He glanced up to see whether Dick had noticed. The kitchen was far enough away, right?
Sure. It had to be.
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He pours hot water for his tea and adds one of the bags Roy fashioned from dress muslin. Roy did a lot of small things that made his life better; he always has. With Donna getting doctored across the way, that doesn't sting as much as it did a few hours ago, but it still keeps his eyes on his tea while it brews and he stirs.
It also gives Kon a few minutes to chase his thoughts around before Dick asks, "Do you know that Barbara and I were engaged, at home?" It seems like a non sequitur, but it isn't. He has a point.
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He wasn't sure what that had to do with anything and he glanced at the door briefly. Should he or shouldn't he?
He hated making those kinds of decisions.
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Oh, he got the point. He couldn't help but get the point. Be yourself, Kon. Find yourself. You don't have to be a hero, you can just be a normal kid. Stay with my parents and you’ll soon settle down. But he was good at playing dumb.
“Okay…?”
He shrugged a little and chuckled. “So you almost got married and ended up changing your mind. I’m pretty sure that I’m not going to be next. I mean, c’mon, Dick. Cassie and I just started dating. I’m not planning on going down on one knee any time in the near future.” There. Let Dick thing that he’d confused the point he was trying to make. Let Dick think that Kon thought that this was some kind of ‘big brother’ talk about him dating Cassie.
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"You have choices here you didn't have at home. And chances, too." God, he hopes Donna forgives him for this one. "Maybe Cassie's one of those chances. If you love her, don't wait too long."
He stands and sets his tea on the table, directs a significant look at it, that means pick it up. "Now I need to go check on some other people I love." Yes, Kon, that's right, you're one of them. "I've left them for too long."
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"You..." Love? It baffled him. Why would Dick love him? It almost seemed like they barely knew each other. "...have fun. Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Especially with my best friend." There. That he could grin over. Even if it was weird. "And by that, I mean Bart of course."
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