[Truthplot - Timed to May 29]

[not_the_chav]

There was something off about today, Martha was certain. Something obtuse, difficult to pinpoint, and all the more frustrating for it. No one event had tipped her off, but rather the overall atmosphere not of the island, but of herself

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[sortofaman]

The Doctor had woke up feeling odd, and though he couldn't quite say how, he was rather chipper. Getting up to walk the dog, he answered the greetings from his housemates with honestly pleased responses, then jogged out the door, Atalanta panting at his heels and yipping pleasantly. It was a good morning.

Good enough that he greeted Martha Jones. "Good morning, Martha," he said. "How are you?"

[not_the_chav]

"Bloody awful," was Martha's immediate reply, followed quickly by, "Please go away." Had she appeared annoyed or angry as she said this, it might not have seemed terribly unusual -- More of her seemingly endless irritation with the Doctor -- but instead she seemed more than a little distressed, and rather like she was considering running away, which was entirely unlike her.

[sortofaman]

The Doctor looked terribly startled by this, and he blinked a few times, rather flustered. "You don't look well," he said. "Are you feeling all right? You didn't get food poisoning at breakfast, I hope, because that'd be quite awful."

[not_the_chav]

Oh, hell. Why couldn't he simply do as she asked for once in his life?

"No, I'm not feeling all right," she replied, the words blurted after a brief attempt at containing them. "I've got that truth virus, or whatever it was from earlier this month, and I'd really rather not be talking to you, of all people."

[sortofaman]

"Truth virus," the Doctor said. "You mean, that's back again? I thought we'd been rid of that, actually, as I was quite humiliated by a declaration of unrequited love last time, and then had a fight with Rob, and nearly got in one with Ianto and it was just bad."

He paused and considered that last sentence, because it was rather more than he'd intended to say.

[not_the_chav]

And of course, he simply had to continue talking, as that was the swiftest way to ensure she was properly tortured.

"Apparently yes, it is back again," Martha compulsively replied. "What a surprise, unrequited love. Me, I'm idiot enough that I don't actually need to be under the influence of anything to embarrass you with declarations of that sort- Why the HELL am I saying this?" She rather wanted to smack the Doctor, just on principle.

[sortofaman]

"Truth virus," the Doctor said, and looked slightly shellshocked. "You've got it and apparently so do I. To be honest, I can see what the other me saw in you, and he was clearly a moron to treat you like he did. I find it appalling and if I ever see him, I promise I will kick him in the balls--that does hurt for Time Lords, terribly inefficient design." By now he had turned rather pinkish.

Only for the Doctor would running into himself be an actual, feasible option.

[not_the_chav]

The idea of the Doctor also being infected with honesty might have been more appealing had Martha thought he was hiding anything she'd be glad to know. In spite of this, her curiosity pushed to the fore anyway.

"What he saw in me? What exactly is that, then?" she asked, and it didn't sound nearly as malicious as she'd intended. Being around him always made her feel just a little unstable, like she was in threat of having the rug yanked from beneath her at any moment. "And how would you have treated me, instead?"

[sortofaman]

"Well, you're clearly a very intelligent young woman and good at problem solving," the Doctor said, "always willing for a bit of adventure. And." He paused, looking terribly vexed for a moment, then added, "andyourequitegoodlookingaswell. And I don't know what I would have done, other than not been such an arse, but hindsight's always 20/20, isn't it?"

[not_the_chav]

That bit of information was more than Martha had expected or wanted to know. She reflexively answered a mumbled affirmative to the Doctor's question about hindsight, but said nothing more, instead staring back at him with the sort of pained incredulity that made it clear she wished he'd gone away like she'd originally requested.

"Not kissing me would have been a good start," she finally replied.

[sortofaman]

"Well, yes," the Doctor said, "but as I didn't actually do it, myself, it's a little hard for me to be excessively regretful except when it comes to what's happened with you, which is something I think about quite a bit and worry about fairly often because I like you despite you thinking I'm an insult to the name of Doctor and because I'm afraid for what might happen. Oh, shite, I just said that."

[not_the_chav]

How, Martha wondered, had he developed such a talent for making you want to forgive him everything? Whether it was actually this Doctor or her Doctor, or them both, she'd been hurt, she'd been used, and she had every right to be angry with him for the rest of her life.

But she didn't like being angry with him, and never had. It didn't come naturally, not like loving him did.

"Like what?" Martha asked, allowing herself to take a step closer. "What might happen?"

[sortofaman]

The Doctor gave her an indignant look, then looked up into the canopy of leaves, fingers clenching as he honestly tried to get some semblance of control. What had Ianto said he'd done? Shite, he couldn't remember.

"That he'll use you up," he said, "and throw you out like rubbish, a means to an end and there'll be nothing left of you, and why does no one believe me when I try to tell them this?"

He looked, to be perfectly frank, nearly tortured.

[not_the_chav]

"Probably because it makes you sound like a hypocrite," Martha replied, easy as you please, and she couldn't quite tell whether that was the compulsive honesty or simply herself. "What is there left of me anyway, Doctor? Stubborn pride. Stranded on an island with no way off. I keep running and pushing and trying, and I'm going nowhere. What does it even matter? I've given up on you, and I don't know that I ever honestly believed in him."

[sortofaman]

"A hypocrite maybe," the Doctor retorted, "but at least not a hypocrite who ever wanted everyone on your planet dead or enslaved, not a hypocrite with dreams of universal domination in the name of nothing but my goddamn ego and madness. I may be a complete and utter fuck, Martha Jones, but I did it for the greater good and all he has behind him are lies and destruction, and I will be damned twenty times more than I already am if I'll let him do that here. That's what it bloody matters."

His eyes narrowed. "Back there you did it for humanity, and you did it for the Doctor. So what does your letting him use you do here? Get you off this rock? And for what? What happens then? What cause is behind you now but self-interest? Because I'm not thick enough to think it's about spiting me."

[not_the_chav]

That threw a bit more light onto the situation that Martha had been properly prepared for, and she turned away, pained, a hand pressed to her mouth. It couldn't keep her from answering.

"Because he needs me," she said, and the words physically hurt, the admittance more than she'd realised until the moment she'd uttered them. "Because he makes me feel better about the fact that you don't and never will."