Intro - Action/Video

[not_onyourside]

[Well that had been an interesting respawn. One moment he's on fire, the next he's waking up in a warm squishy bed with a very attractive nurse hovering around and making sure he was comfortable. Spy might have acted on that, had he not succumbed to his initial panic of being maskless

Comments

[video]

[hasstandards]

[Oh look, it's Spy. RED's been wondering where he'd run off to since-

Wait. Waaaaaaait a minute. It's a different Spy, one who becomes instantly familiar the second the marshmallows come into view. He pulls down his hood before turning on the video feed.]

You're a Spy. You oughtta be used to workin' on your own.

Re: [video]

[not_onyourside]

Sniper!

[He looks overjoyed to see a familiar face.]

Oui, still, being lonely ees not much fun.

[video]

[hasstandards]

Don't get so excited. You bein' here means you're stuck like the rest of us.

[video]

[not_onyourside]

Stuck? Stuck where? Where ees....

Are zhere ears on your shirt?

[video]

[hasstandards]

No. [But watch him self-consciously push that hood further behind his neck and out of sight.]

This place is called Paradise, and it's anything but.

[video]

[not_onyourside]

I see. Eet sounds lovely.

Are zhey dog ears or cat ears?

[video]

[hasstandards]

It's not. Respawn's broken, there are talking animals, and everything else is just rotten.

[And he's totally ignoring that question and going to pretend he's not wearing a hoodie at all.]

Re: [video]

[not_onyourside]

Broken? What do you mean eets broken? How can eet be broken? When ees eet getting fixed?

[Come on, he dies more than anyone else on the team, the respawn can't be broken.]

[video]

[hasstandards]

I don't know, mate. That's just what I've been told.

So don't go doin' anything stupid, alright?

Re: [video]

[not_onyourside]

I never do anyzzing stupid.

Eets really broken?

[video]

[hasstandards]

Right. Never.

You're welcome to test it out. I'm not.

Re: [video]

[not_onyourside]

I am not going to test eet out, I do not like being dead.

So where should I go? Am I to stay een zhis hospital?

[video]

[hasstandards]

Ya don't have to stay there. You can pretty much go where you like. That's just where you wake up when they bring you here.

One thing, mate- with the respawn bein' broken, we're in some kind of truce with BLU. Don't go stabbin' anyone in the back.

Re: [video]

[not_onyourside]

Truce. Wez BLU.

Zhis ees a nightmare eesn't eet? Eef eet ees you can kindly leave and be replaced wez someone more agreeable.

[video]

[hasstandards]

You've got me, Pyro, BLU, another one of you spooks, or one of the talking animals to choose from. Take your pick.

[video]

[not_onyourside]

Talking animals? Hmm. I am not sure which I want. Let me zhink about eet and I will return to zhis dream at a later date.

[Because this just can't be real. Nope. Not at all.]

Where are my zhings? My clozzes, my cars?